What it is
Some psychologists mean by auto-aggression negative emotions directed towards oneself: anger, rage, irritation and others. Others are self-destructive behavior, harming themselves, their well-being and peace of mind. I adhere to the second understanding, because emotions are a delicate thing and must be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. With behavior, everything is usually clearer.
Auto-aggression can manifest itself in different ways. Sometimes a person is aware that he is angry with himself and harming himself, and sometimes he does it unconsciously. In this case, the person does not recognize auto-aggression, but something happens to him, as if “by chance.” For example, he loses caution and gets injured at home, or begins to intensively seek conflicts and provokes a fight. Or he works without rest and ends up in the hospital with an exacerbation of a stomach ulcer.
Auto-aggression does not necessarily mean active actions such as inflicting wounds on oneself. Unconsciously, it can manifest itself in careless driving that causes accidents, alcohol and drug abuse, or breaking the habit of looking left before crossing the road. Unhealthy habits like smoking and overeating are also auto-aggression. By the way, some psychoanalysts consider smoking and drinking alcohol as signs of fixation at the oral-sadistic stage - the period when the child bites the mother's breast and thus realizes his power over her. After all, alcohol and smoking give burning sensations concentrated in the oral cavity. But passion for extreme sports is more often caused by the desire to fill some emptiness in life and make it brighter due to a surge of adrenaline - in my opinion, most of these sports in reality are not as dangerous as they seem at first glance. Drinking alcohol or driving aggressively is more destructive than, for example, mountain biking.
Sometimes auto-aggression is not expressed in any actions, but manifests itself in psychosomatics. A person does not release negative emotions, accumulates stress and gets a real disease. Most often these are diseases of the cardiovascular system (for example, hypertension) or the gastrointestinal tract (gastritis, ulcers, esophagitis).
Features in teenagers
Aggression in adolescence is associated, first of all, with increased independence, as well as with internal self-flagellation. The crisis of growing up is characterized by the fact that a person has new opportunities, strengths and abilities that were previously at the stage of formation, controlled by society or suppressed in principle.
A teenager needs to demonstrate independence, independence, and autonomy. Increased social competence and physical strength create a genuine sense of permissiveness, especially correlating with the desire to be equal to adults, full-fledged members of the vast world. It is obvious to others that psychological and social development lags far behind physical improvement, but the teenager, first of all, focuses on external resemblance to the older generation. He begins to rebel and protest in attempts to achieve new privileges.
It is noteworthy that the more the child felt protected and understood, accepted by his parents before the crisis period, the fewer uncontrollable outbursts of aggression he demonstrates. Manifestations of teenage aggression directly depend on the parenting style that adults adhered to. To annoy parents, a child is even capable of intentionally harming himself, leaving home, becoming addicted to drugs, demonstrating deviant behavior, engaging in sexual relations, and even threatening suicide.
Multiple internal changes that occur during adolescence significantly affect the behavior of a child who cannot join any caste of people - he is too old for a child, but still too young for an elder. In addition, most teenagers are not satisfied with their appearance - criticism of themselves and others, complexes, and fear of being alone are actively developing. Sexual desire involves building certain contacts with peers. To gain the affection of the opposite sex, teenagers often become hostage to popular stereotypes - bright hair colors, non-standard haircuts, all kinds of piercings and tattoos, a specific style of clothing.
Most often, a teenager suffers from low self-esteem and constantly expects criticism and negativity from others, so auto-aggression progresses into suppressed aggression, directed at other members of society.
The nature of auto-aggression
By its nature, auto-aggression can also be different. It can arise as a result of transferring prohibited aggression onto oneself. Moral norms and rules do not approve of anger towards parents, relatives, and many others. But these emotions exist, which means they must find a way out somehow. So they are expressed in a more socially acceptable way - in relation to themselves.
The second reason for self-aggression is a feeling of guilt. It can appear as a consequence of other people's manipulations. For example, parents often instill in their children a sense of guilt, because this makes them easier to control. “I gave my whole life to you,” or “Because of you, I had a heart attack”—the mother or father makes it clear that the child is guilty before them, and therefore must behave as they say. Plus, children themselves invent responsibility for circumstances that actually do not depend on them. For example, they may blame themselves for their parents' unhappy marriage. Children feel this well and cannot explain it, but the egocentrism inherent in an early age suggests an easy explanation: mom and dad don’t love each other because I’m bad. When a child grows up, the feeling of guilt remains with him. So, with the help of auto-aggression, a person copes with feelings of guilt. He punishes himself, and after being punished, he experiences temporary relief. Guilt is one of the most common sources of self-destructive behavior.
The third option is that self-aggressive behavior arises as a demonstration. A person wants to attract the attention of others, gain their sympathy and help. We were raised in such a way that we cannot ask for help, we have no right to be weak: don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask. Behind demonstrative auto-aggression there are not always strong negative emotions towards oneself, but this does not make it any less dangerous - by tragic accident, a “frivolous” attempt to commit suicide or injure oneself can end very sadly.
Exercise to Identify Anger Symptoms
Now I encourage everyone to do a special exercise2 in which you will become familiar with your own components of anger. This exercise alone will not turn your world upside down and make you calm like a Tibetan monk. But this is a small step towards full-fledged anger management skills.
You will need: print out the exercise and 2 markers of different colors (ideally
