Finding your soulmate may seem like a difficult task, but with the right approach it can be done quickly and effectively. First, you need to determine for yourself the purpose of dating: pleasant communication, pastime, intimate or serious relationship. In general, the approach is no different, but in each case there are nuances. Before you find a girl for a relationship, you should prepare in advance for possible difficulties so as not to give up halfway.
There is nothing more important than family.
Still from the film “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”
So, the realization has come to you that it’s time to finally find the one with whom you will build a family, have children and grow old in some quiet and cozy place. But despite all your determination, you can’t imagine where to look for it and what it should be. Don’t worry, now we will tell you how to find a girl for a serious relationship, who can later become your wife.
It is worth remembering that your search should not scare off the girls who will communicate with you. That is, you should not tell them on the first date that you are looking for the future mother of your children and have them fill out a questionnaire in which your potential wives will need to note the qualities that they possess. Such castings could be arranged, for example, by Jeff Bezos with his billions, and even then, he will have to sacrifice his reputation and shares of Amazon, because the public, of course, will not appreciate it. So...
How to Find a Girl: 5 Steps
It is rare to meet a man who would forever link his fate with the first girl he liked. Most often, representatives of the stronger sex go through periods in their lives when it seems that their main goal is to communicate with as many women as possible, of different ages and types.
But in the end this game of chance loses its meaning, because sooner or later men's values change. In addition, any constant variety becomes monotony.
Another category should include guys who have never been good at communicating with the opposite sex, and, having solemnly accepted the status of “actively searching”, go through life in splendid isolation, hugging their boring pillow in the morning instead of the woman they love.
As an alternative, you can connect your own life path with a mediocre girl, convincing yourself that this is the very fate from which you cannot hide.
In general, it doesn’t matter which category of men you belong to, besides, such a classification is quite arbitrary, but all guys, without exception, periodically have the question of how to find a girl to start a relationship with her?
#1. Don't be obsessed with finding a girl.
Read: the best books on pickup trucks
Paradoxically, for many men, one of their main obstacles in finding a relationship is the desire to find a girl.
They are obsessed with this need, exhibiting obsessive behavior and acting needy. And when guys meet a girl they like, they usually scare her away for the stated reason.
When a woman feels that a man is too interested in her, his desperate zeal to get the girl at any cost can only have the opposite effect.
Don't worry too much about how to find a girl. Instead, allow the relationship process to develop naturally, otherwise you are clearly broadcasting to the world around you that you are ready to do whatever it takes to win a woman’s favor.
This kind of thinking is akin to suicidal thinking.
Women like men who choose who they will associate with. And it is precisely with this philosophy that you must walk through life if you want to be with a bright girl who knows her worth.
#2. Don't jump to conclusions
Another mistake that many men make is wanting to get ahead of things. Nothing is clear or understandable yet, but castles in the air have already been erected in their heads, in which the new acquaintance resides in the form of their beloved wife.
Guys catch their eye on a girl they like, and in the short term they begin to fantasize about kissing and romantic dates. They are in love with an unfamiliar beauty even before they begin to communicate with the girl.
In this way, men send a clear message to their minds that they are impressed and infatuated with this person. The guys are absolutely convinced that she is exactly the ideal girl they have always dreamed of.
As a result, they focus all their attention on the new acquaintance, ignoring other options and flaunting their ingratiation and neediness. Such behavior, having particular negative effectiveness, kills all chances for a favorable outcome of communication.
Be sure that your mind is deceiving you!
It seems to you that this girl is exceptional and has some unique qualities. But in reality, there are thousands of Russian-speaking girls on planet Earth who can become a source of manifestation of the same feelings.
The truly true mental attitude is this: there is no one and only, but there are many possibilities.
Put your obsession away and instead focus on creating an abundance of women in your life.
Instead of being a serial monogamous romantic, focusing your energy on one girl, start going on a lot of dates with many different women.
When you have a large female social circle, regardless of whether all your friends are suitable for you as a girlfriend or not, you become a man who has a choice.
Now you dictate your terms and begin to look more objectively at new women you know, more accurately determining your true attitude towards them, since you were able to eliminate the prism of fear, uncertainty, neediness and ingratiation.
When the right girl comes into your life, you will know it immediately. But you also realize that there can be many such women.
When you can develop peace of mind, girls will instantly notice this, and the level of your attractiveness in their eyes will go up, which will make it much easier for you to move in the desired direction.
#3. Meeting a girl
You won't be able to find a girl unless you get to know her. But initially you need to figure out what kind of girl you want to find.
Then you should go to those places where women, as they say, hang out, to meet a girl and develop communication with her, ending with an exchange of contacts.
After receiving the phone number, you must ask the girl out on a date.
So, let's go.
Define your goal
You need to develop a clear idea of what type of girl you need, mentally drawing an image and identifying the features of your future lover in the smallest detail.
Think about the girls you liked, whom you knew in your life, and about their qualities that sank into your soul.
Your task is to determine the most complete and conscious vision of your goal, without pushing yourself into too strict limits.
Be careful when choosing a girl's physical characteristics, because otherwise you may inadvertently exclude from your attention the beautiful people you would really be crazy about. Don't be too picky, but also don't give in at critical moments.
A 2008 study found that men enjoy talking to girls more when they know who they want to meet.
In addition, later you will be surprised that if you define your goal, girls who match it will begin to appear in your life much more often.
To increase your chances of finding a girl faster, try visualization.
Find a place to meet a girl
If you decide not to correspond with a girl in order to meet her via the Internet, you will have to go out into the street in order to establish contact with an unfamiliar beauty.
By the way, great news: now you know what kind of girl you want to find. For you, this also means that now, based on the type of girl you have determined, you can set where to look for her.
For example, if you want to meet girls who love sports, it makes sense to attend a sporting event or a gym.
It's not so easy to find sports-loving girls in the library. But if you want a friend who loves books, the library might be the perfect place to do your fighting.
You should consider various places that are visited by a large number of people. In some of them there will be more girls suitable for you, in others - less, in others - there will be none at all. The only way to find out is to go there and look around.
Hitting on a girl
Here we come to the most frightening part of meeting a girl for many guys. To be honest, there is nothing wrong with establishing contact with a girl, you just need training and experience. In fact, this is the most interesting part of dating, and it's true.
Now that you have determined what kind of girl you want to find and where to find her, you should start approaching girls and talking to them.
Read in more detail:
- How to approach a girl.
- How to meet a girl.
Don't worry about being nervous because it's completely normal. And in general, there are only two types of approaches to girls: successful and training, so you are always in profit.
Imagine that this is a game, and you started all this not in order to achieve some goal, but just for fun, because it’s fun. But it's really fun!
Try to approach at least three new girls per day, which will result in you talking to over 20 girls in one week.
If this pace is too harsh for you, determine for yourself an acceptable intensity. For example, you can get acquainted on weekends, and also involve a partner in this matter. But remember that at the very beginning the main aspect is the systematicity of your actions.
Be sociable
The easiest way to relieve stress and relax when interacting with girls is to simply become sociable.
Be sociable with everyone: with neighbors, elderly and young people, inspectors in transport, sellers and customers in line at the store, everyone else.
Becoming sociable is like pumping up your communication muscles. It may seem stupid and too trivial, but once you start talking to strangers, communication becomes a fun game and the fear goes away.
When you start talking to girls, conduct a dialogue with them the same way as with everyone else.
Women are not some strange and incomprehensible creatures. You don't need to dance lezginka for a girl or perform a solo song, just talk to her like an ordinary person.
Ask her how she spent her day, find out what she is doing here, comment on the book she is reading, share your opinion about the environment around you.
As you become more social and practice your dating skills, you'll start to get a lot more signals from them inviting you to start chatting with them.
You may not have learned to pick them up yet, but in 1985, scientists found that women constantly signal to men that they are ready to get to know them. You just need to get their attention and then respond to their subtle signs.
Flirt with a girl
When you're talking to someone new, you should start flirting. Don't worry if you haven't flirted with girls before because it's not difficult.
Read: what is a pickup truck
A simple and effective example of non-verbal flirting is to put a half-smile on your face and look at the girl out of the corner of your eye. Do this if she says something stupid or unbelievable.
An example of verbal flirting: choose a harmless hook and tease the girl with it. If she eats pizza or potato chips, say “Wow! So you’re a junk food lover!” If she's reading a book, you can say, "Wow, what are you stuffing your head with!" Remember to use a playful voice so that the girl knows that you are just joking.
Flirting is necessary to make your intentions clear to a woman in a playful way. Otherwise, either the girl will not understand what you want from her (What if you are planning to sell her something? Or maybe you want to become friends with her?), or your true intention will be too obvious, something like “Girl, I like you. Let's get acquainted, after which we will jump in bed at my house, and then you will become my girlfriend."
Exchange phone numbers
All the actions you take, be it planning, approaching a girl, communicating with her or flirting, will not bring any benefit if you do not exchange contacts with a new acquaintance.
You can simply suggest exchanging phone numbers: “Let's exchange phone numbers. Call the number."
But you can do things a little differently, for example, say: “Let’s meet during the week and have coffee.” If the girl agrees, then ask her for her phone number.
#4. Preparing for a date with a girl
A message with intrigue
About three hours after you say goodbye to the girl, after exchanging phone numbers, you can send her a text message. The purpose of the message is to remind you of yourself and interest the girl.
The text could, for example, be like this: “By the way, your eau de toilette is delicious.”
But if you want to really create suspense, write something like this: “I think I know something about you.” And when the girl asks “So what?”, you will not send her a message, but only answer the next day “This is very personal. Let's do it better when we meet." In response to requests to explain everything in correspondence, you should stand your ground.
It is difficult for you to imagine what effect such a turn of events will have, because the most interesting information for any person is that which is connected with his personality, and at the same time hidden under the veil of secrecy.
By the time of your date, without actually doing anything, you will be able to emotionally bring the girl closer to you, because all this time she will be thinking about you and what you know.
When you meet and she asks, so what do you really know, you can answer:
- You have beautiful blue eyes.
- You have a very sweet smile.
- I noticed one trait in you that for many men does not matter, but for me it is very important. Most modern girls are quite frivolous about relationships between a guy and a girl, but you are not like that. You are ready to completely surrender to your feelings, but only with that person whom you really like very much and sincerely.
Planning a date
If you decide to go on a date with a girl, you can choose one of three options:
- Speed dating.
- Combined date
- Comfortable date.
The choice depends on the interest you feel in yourself from the girl.
If you feel that the level of interest is not too high, it is better to decide to go on a speed date. In this case, you should meet the girl in a cafe, and it is recommended to set the duration of communication to no more than one hour. You simply talk to the girl, let her get to know you better, and then end the date by saying that you need to run.
When you are sure that the girl is definitely interested in you, choose a combination date that involves several stages that the girl will not know about in advance. You can take her for a ride in a car, stopping in some beautiful place in nature, then visit a cafe, and then take a walk with the girl along the embankment. As a result, changing places and events will create the effect of not a first, but at least a second date, bringing you closer to the desired outcome.
If you meet a girl who really likes you, opt for a comfortable date. All you need to do in this case is just invite the girl to your favorite place. This can be any option that most appeals to you, for example, a walk along the city streets, visiting a cafe or amusement park.
Read: where to ask a girl out on a date
Once you've chosen your date, it's time to figure out the details: where you'll meet the girl and what you'll do with her.
You can plan like this:
- Meeting a girl next to such and such a store.
- The path to the cafe.
- Chat with a girl for 45 minutes.
- Ending communication.
By planning your date in advance, you can gain control over it, avoid awkward moments, and eliminate uncertainty when making the most important decisions.
However, don't take planning too seriously and don't try to make the date too difficult. And especially don’t plan all your words and actions.
Invitation to a date
Now, a few days after we met, it’s time to call the girl and ask her out on a date.
Read: How to ask a girl out on a date
If you called and the girl did not answer, call back in about an hour again. If the girl doesn’t pick up the phone again, it’s better to never call her again.
Still, anything can happen, so if the girl doesn't answer the first call, send her a text message. In this case, silence on her part will become a reason for you to call another girl.
#5. From dating to relationship with a girl
Make your date a fun and playful event.
A date is not something important and responsible, and certainly not like passing an exam or interviewing for a job.
The girl will be trying to decide if you are the person she wants to invest her time and emotions in, someone who can become one of the most important people in her life.
In order for a girl to make a choice in your favor, in addition to the presence of fundamental masculine qualities, one of the most important elements of attraction will be of great importance - your cheerful playful behavior, as well as flirting.
Women are always able to rightfully appreciate a sense of humor. If you're on a boring date and you're clearly trying to impress the girl instead of being sarcastic, teasing, and flirting while having fun, you're unlikely to succeed.
Investing in Communication
People value the relationships they are invested in. And the more they invest, the higher the value of the investment object becomes.
Why is this happening?
Surely you know this trick: when you are happy, you smile, but when you are sad, and you start smiling, you will feel happy.
For the same reason, when a girl loves, she begins to do something for her lover, but when she voluntarily begins to do something for a new acquaintance, she slowly and inadvertently falls in love with him.
Most guys at the very beginning put all the responsibility of building a relationship on their shoulders, as a result of which they fall in love with a girl, while she cannot feel that elusive spark that is so necessary for her.
To emerge victorious in such situations, you should encourage her to start investing in the relationship. And we're not talking about renting your friend a limousine or buying you an expensive watch.
Instead, invite her to show you interesting photos that she mentioned during the conversation or treat you to her treat. Ask her to sit next to you, bring napkins, cut zucchini, buy gum, etc.
Just look for seemingly small ways to do something for you, and you will notice that her passion for the date and you will only increase.
Ending the date
A date usually ends in one of three ways:
- Ending a date without a kiss.
- Ending the date with a kiss.
- Inviting a girl home.
Here, guys, you will have to act according to the circumstances.
If you yourself didn’t really like the conversation, then there’s no point in trying to give your friend a kiss, she’ll interrupt you. Save your energy for a more interesting beauty.
When you feel that a girl was comfortable in your company, it is better not to let her go without trying to kiss her.
If the date is going well, and you and the girl don’t feel like calling it a day today, invite her to your home.
Keep in mind that if your date is young enough, then if she accepts your invitation, you might want to consider whether she is an easy-to-get girl.
Second date
After a great first date, take a break for one day, then contact the girl and invite her on a second date.
Try to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. If the girl is free on the day you call, why hesitate? Make a second date tonight.
Speed is important in developing relationships. The less time passes from the moment you meet to intimate events, the greater your chances of not being classified as friends.
Intimacy
After the second date, you may need a third date.
By the way, in order to have counterbalances and more relaxed communication with your friend, set up dates with other girls at the same time. Moreover, at the current stage of communication, your new acquaintance is a nobody, because in fact, the relationship begins after the first sexual contact.
Use different places for dates while remaining the same interesting and fun conversationalist.
Don't forget to touch and hug your girl, because tactile sensations are an important step in developing trust and comfort.
At the end of the date, invite the girl home to consolidate what you started.
You found a girl
As already mentioned, intimacy is the starting point in the relationship between a man and a woman. Most likely, but...
Even after the first night spent together, do not give yourself up to be torn apart by feelings, control yourself. A girl can become emotional and then change her behavior.
It is quite possible that she is in love with someone else, and for her you are just an option to satisfy her physiological needs. And in general, during the first 6 months of your relationship with a girl, keep a healthy distance.
Despite this, it is recommended to do the following:
- Don't wait too long the next day to contact your girl.
- Establish an emotional connection with your friend.
- Start systematically spending time together.
In the morning after the girl leaves, send her a message: “The night was wonderful. I hope you’re not too tired :).”
Make an appointment with the girl again in the near future, and then you know what to do.
Gym
The gym is one of the most interesting places to meet people, even if you don't think so. Firstly, there you can not only evaluate most of the physical skills of a potential partner, but also make sure that she is trying to take care of herself, and therefore treats her health responsibly and has a certain amount of willpower (most likely).
Plus, it's very easy to start a conversation with someone in the gym. You just have to come up and say: “Hmm, you’re not doing this exercise quite right, let me show you how to do it.”
or
“Hmm, you’re really good at this exercise, can you show me how to do it?”
.
The right attitude
Many single guys are so eager to have a relationship that they literally become obsessed. They only have beautiful girls in their minds, and everything else fades into the background. If you notice this about yourself, this is an alarming sign.
Do not make the sphere of love and relationships overly significant for yourself. There are still a lot of exciting and interesting things in the world - friends, sports, travel, self-development, music, science - take your mind off it. Do something new and unusual, make your life rich, and people will be drawn to you.
And while you are in a needy pose, it is very difficult to find someone. Normal girls will shy away from your hungry look. Be self-sufficient and open - this is the formula for success.
Stop being embarrassed by loneliness. Even if all your friends are in couples, this is not a reason to feel inferior. While you are still searching, appreciate your freedom and enjoy it.
Neighborhood of your home
You can also make a pleasant acquaintance near your home by meeting a lonely girl walking with a dog or relaxing in a nearby park. The easiest way to start a conversation is if you occasionally bump into each other on your way to work or returning from the store.
However, if you realize that you are seeing her for the first time, use our detailed guide, where we told you how to meet girls on the street and what to talk to them about.
How and where to invite a girl on a date
The acquaintance has taken place, the object of your sighs has given the go-ahead for communication, now you can go on the attack. Invite your new flame to meet and spend time together. Don't be shy, speak confidently and friendly. If she agreed, show joy and go get ready for the rendezvous. If the young lady refuses, do not persuade her - express slight regret and leave her alone. She might change her mind later and let you know.
Choose an interesting and stylish place where you will feel comfortable communicating. A movie or a noisy bar won't do; you need to get to know each other better, and not just sit next to each other.
Here are some original and unusual ideas for where to go with a girl on a first date.
- Intellectual quizzes
Games like Quiz and What? Where? When? are gaining more and more popularity every day. It's fun, emotional and educational. At the same time, check the intellectual abilities of your chosen one, if, of course, this item is on the list of your criteria.
- Quests
Also modern and interesting leisure time. Together you will solve riddles, solve puzzles, and complete tasks. You will be impressed for months to come.
- Master classes in painting (cooking, music, dancing, etc.)
Joint activities always bring you closer together - take advantage of this. Learn something interesting and useful. Who knows, maybe you will be so captivated by a new activity that you and your girlfriend will decide to enroll in long-term courses.
- Planetarium or observatory
Stars are mysterious and romantic. A girl will remember such a date for the rest of her life. Just don’t forget to check the weather forecast in advance so you don’t have to look through a telescope at a thick veil of clouds. And learn a couple of constellations to show off your knowledge in front of your chosen one.
- Tasting of exotic dishes and drinks
Some modern trendy restaurants offer this service. There they bring you dishes the size of a five-ruble coin on huge plates and strange drinks in test tubes. Stylish and conceptual. The girl will be delighted - she will now have photos for Instagram six months in advance.
At work
Despite the fact that in some organizations office romances are prohibited by the basics of corporate ethics, you still shouldn’t miss the chance to find your destiny at work.
Firstly, if you are colleagues, then most likely you should have similar interests, which is very important in a relationship. Secondly, you have to see each other almost every day, and this is like a kind of life together, during which it becomes clear whether you can tolerate each other every day or not.
What not to do
You can plan everything perfectly, be a pleasant, interesting conversationalist, and make someone fall in love, but one mistake can ruin everything. You can do a lot of them, but there is a list of the most common ones.
So, what not to do when meeting the girl of your dreams:
- demonstrate clear superiority;
- insist on something when refused;
- flatter, make inappropriate compliments;
- make politically incorrect jokes.
You should not talk or joke about anything that may hurt feelings. When meeting someone, it is unknown what principles and thoughts a woman has regarding different aspects of life. One incorrect statement can lead to the lady stopping communication and not wanting to see the young man again.
Under no circumstances should you approach a girl in a tipsy or drunken state. Of course, in the eyes of the man himself at that moment this seems to be the best solution, but it’s not like that. A cigarette in your mouth will also not be the best decoration, unless the lady asks for a smoke.
At school or college
This point is far from being for schoolchildren or students, but for those who will now begin to remember their former classmates and fellow students, in whom for some reason he did not show interest during his studies.
It is worth noting that people who studied with each other in the same class or course have a lot in common. They not only went through the process of personality formation together, but also observed each other's successes, failures and disappointments. Many happy married couples used to be simple classmates and classmates.
Find out in 60 seconds: questions to find common points
To get to know a girl in conversation and form a general opinion about her, you need to ask questions during communication:
- What made her the most nervous in her life?
- Does she have any bad habits and what are they?
- What is better: to be rich or loved?
- What song is she willing to listen to several times?
- What was the happiest period in your life?
- What is her attitude towards the LGBT community?
- What are your plans for the next 5 years?
- What book has she read lately?
- What kind of person would your interlocutor want to live next to for the rest of her life?
- What would you never want to repeat in life?
- What advice would you give to your past self?
- Where would you like to travel?
This list can be continued endlessly. The point is to understand the girl's character in a short time.
Today, many girls see a man as a sponsor who will support and fulfill all their whims. You need to recognize such a lady and not waste time and energy.
READ How to find a wife: search methods taking into account age
It is worth preparing a universal list of questions and presenting them in conversation as a game. You should not take this too seriously and arrange an interrogation - this will scare the girl away. You should also not choose controversial or impolite questions. It must be taken into account that it is impossible to create a complete portrait of a person; you can only see the overall picture. A girl is always a secret, if you want to reveal it, you need to act gradually.
In public transport
As we mentioned earlier, fateful meetings can happen by chance, so public transport definitely shouldn’t be crossed off the list of places where you can meet your future wife.
Starting a conversation, for example, on the subway is much more difficult than when you are both flying on an airplane, so you will need to be smart here.
For example, look at the book she is reading and tell her that you know this author, but this is the first time you have seen this work. Now it’s not so important whether it’s Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” or Boris Akunin’s most unpopular novel. The main thing is that now there is something to talk about. Although, if you don’t know “Crime and Punishment,” it’s quite possible that the girl may stay away from you.
What to do when meeting a girl
How to properly meet a young woman? To make a good impression on the person you like, you need to follow a few simple rules. Young women prefer smart, caring, attentive men. Useful tips for men:
- If you are lucky enough to get a young lady’s phone number, there is no need to rush. It’s better to wait 1-2 days, then call and ask for a date.
- When meeting in person, there is no need to beat around the bush, go straight to the goal. Introduce yourself and tell them you want to ask you out on a date. At the end you need to ask for a number.
- If a woman returns home, you can offer to accompany her.
- Where do you get general topics for conversation? It's simple - ask a woman about her interests.
- A neat and tidy appearance creates a special image in a woman’s head.
- Confident and competent speech increases a guy’s authority in a girl’s eyes.
Important! The more confident a man is, the more likely he is to attract a woman's attention.
Dating at a bar
Online
We cannot turn a blind eye to the power of such a powerful tool as the Internet. Millions of couples have already met online and built wonderful families. Moreover, for this purpose there are not only the usual social networks that we are so accustomed to, but also specialized dating sites where people deliberately look for a serious relationship.
If you want to use this dating tool, feel free to create a page for yourself or use an existing one. By the way, in this article we told you how to properly communicate with a girl online. Therefore, if you need additional recommendations, feel free to contact him.
Where to look for a girl
Now that you have a clear idea about your future girlfriend, it will be much easier for you to find her. Let's get into it right now.
Among friends
First, take a closer look at your friends, perhaps among them there is the same one, you just haven’t considered it yet. Friendship quite often develops into love and, as a rule, such unions are the strongest and most durable. Communicate more often with friends of both sexes, spend time in large companies, go on trips together. This increases your chances of having a long and strong relationship.
Among classmates, fellow students, work colleagues
We spend most of our lives first at school and then at work. It's no surprise that many relationships begin there. Everyone wants to combine business with pleasure, especially since common activities always bring us closer together.
If you are studying, spend more time with classmates or classmates outside the walls of the educational institution. Walk together after school, go to a cafe or cinema in large groups, have parties, discos. Joint outings will allow you to move communication from purely formal to warmer.
At work there are corporate events for such purposes. It’s not for nothing that they are discussed for another six months. Be sure to visit them and be in the center of events, do not sit modestly in a corner. You have a chance to meet colleagues from other departments and show yourself as an active, cheerful and sociable person.
Among like-minded women
By like-minded women we mean girls who share your interests. If you visit the gym or swimming pool, meet and chat with girls there. If you play mind games, there are probably beautiful and interesting ladies among your rivals. Basically, you just need to be outgoing and passionate about something. If you don’t have a hobby yet, start one immediately.
Independence
If two independent people enter into a relationship, it is always an equal and positive union. Firstly, no one will look up or down on anyone, and secondly, an independent woman does not need a man and does not regard him as a lifeline.
In addition, she is strong, confident and not afraid to be alone. Therefore, in an alliance with her, you will not have to deal with sudden attacks of jealousy or constant fears that you will lose interest in her.
Being emotionally dependent on each other is a very good thing.
What to do so that the first date does not turn out to be the last
Your task is to make a stunning impression. Show your real self, but from the best side. Remember a few tips.
- First of all, pay attention to appearance. Clothing can be simple, but modern and perfectly clean and ironed. Hair should be styled, nails well-groomed, beard and mustache beautifully decorated.
- Be polite and gallant. Let the girl go ahead, open the door, pour her drinks into a glass. I hope no one needs to be taught this?
- Take an active interest in the girl’s life, listen enthusiastically, and keep the conversation going. Don't sit and expect her to entertain you.
- Don't brag. There is nothing worse than coming across as an upstart and arrogant.
- Walk the lady home after the date and thank her for a wonderful evening. You can immediately express your hope for the next meeting.
- Nobody forbids you to try to kiss a girl. If she doesn't object, you've hit the jackpot. If he refuses, don’t be upset. This doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like you. She may want to get to know you better first or is afraid of seeming too approachable. Courage and perseverance will still play into your hands - your chosen one will remember your attempt with excitement.
Common goals and aspirations
A girl who supports you in your career ambitions and personal aspirations is a good candidate for the role of a wife. She clearly understands that in addition to your personal life, you have some goals for self-realization that you need to achieve.
Therefore, she is unlikely to make scandals for you because you spend too much time on work or spend too much energy on it. Because most likely she will have her own ambitions.
In addition, for your marriage to be happy, you also need to support her projects and endeavors, because this is not a one-way game.
The ideal girl - what is she like?
Before you start searching, you need to identify significant criteria. Ask yourself what kind of girl you would like to see next to you. Imagine her in different situations - how she looks, how she behaves, what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what she does, what qualities she has. Write down everything that comes to your mind.
Have you recorded it? Now let's figure it out.
Appearance
Not all men have strict criteria for appearance - today they may like a petite blonde, and tomorrow a buxom brunette. If you are one of them, congratulations! One less headache.
If you have a clearly formed idea of female beauty, it will be a little more difficult for you. You will have to bring your appearance in line with your ideal. Let me give you an example.
The guy likes girls with model appearance - tall, slender, fit. And he himself is a stooped, bespectacled man, and with a potbelly to boot. The poor fellow will have to seriously work on himself to charm such a girl. It’s much easier to look at yourself soberly in the mirror and lower your expectations.
Almost all men agree that no matter what the girl is - thin or curvy, fair-haired or red-haired, tall or short - she should be well-groomed. Nobody likes messy people, and I think you don’t either. So write this criterion down in your notebook if you haven’t already. My good girls, if you happen to be reading this too, take note!
Universal qualities
We will not dwell on this point in detail. It is already clear to everyone that positive qualities such as kindness, mercy, responsiveness, generosity, friendliness, sociability attract, and negative qualities - anger, causticity, greed, hysteria - repel. The main thing is to be able to consider them in time.
Every man dreams of a decent and faithful girl. Unfortunately, you cannot immediately discern these properties, and no one can ever guarantee them for you - situations in life are different.
Interests
If you are looking for a girl to love and live together, and even more so to start a family, you need to choose one who will be your faithful friend and ally. It is advisable that your interests coincide or at least intersect. If you are obsessed with sports, look for someone like you, you like to travel, which means the girl should be easy-going, if you are a movie buff, great, let the lady of your heart also share your passion.
This approach will help solve several problems at once. Firstly, it will be easier for you to make acquaintances if you move in common circles. Secondly, you and your lover will always have something to talk about and do. You can learn from each other, develop and grow together.
Worldview
It’s great when a person has some principles, values, moral guidelines - this is what makes him a person. But their discrepancy in a couple very often leads to conflicts and contradictions. If you have your own views on life, which you will never compromise, before starting a relationship, make sure that your chosen one shares them or at least does not object to them.
This may concern religion, political views, attitudes towards marriage and children. Ask the girl what she thinks about the areas of life that are important to you, but do not try to impose your point of view on her. In case of irreconcilable differences, it is better to limit yourself to friendship.
There are, of course, situations when love is stronger than everything else, and people are ready to seek a compromise. But, as a rule, after the end of the candy-bouquet period, when the riot of hormones subsides, a person discovers a strange, and sometimes even hostile, creature next to him and does not know what to do about it.
The ability to stand up for yourself
Now we don’t mean fierce fights with frying pans in our hands and rolling pins on our belts. Family life is family life, so that its participants shine with joy and happiness. However, conflicts between two people who live together are sometimes inevitable, and in these conflicts, disputes should be conducted on equal terms.
So if your girlfriend doesn't allow anyone to insult her (especially you), talk to her in an aggressive tone, or don't let others act like her opinion doesn't matter, that's a very good thing. If she can also put you down properly, then take a closer look, perhaps this is your future wife.
- Author: Dmitry Petrosyants
Long distance relationships - do you need it?
It happens that when you accidentally meet a girl from another city on vacation or on the Internet, you are so blown away that you can no longer think about anyone else. And this madness also turns out to be mutual.
If this story is about you and the prospect of a correspondence relationship looms before you, think carefully about whether the game is worth the candle. What at first seems insanely romantic, in reality often turns out to be a complete headache.
If love comes suddenly, and you can’t do anything about it, take into account some nuances before rushing headlong into the maelstrom of a virtual relationship.
- It is advisable to see the girl in person at least once before getting involved in all this
The longer you communicate with a person, the clearer and clearer the image of him is formed in your head.
If there is a lack of information, the brain itself completes the missing links in the chain from what is there, seasoning everything with your illusions and fantasies. You may be bitterly disappointed at the first meeting after several months of communication.
If you don’t have the opportunity to meet yet, at least sometimes communicate via video chat and by phone, and don’t limit yourself to just texting.
- Prepare to feel jealous
Jealousy is a constant companion of long-distance relationships. When there is no way to control where and with whom a girl spends time, doubts and obsessive thoughts creep into her head. Do not hesitate to share your experiences with her - if your chosen one values you, she will do everything in her power to reassure and encourage you.
Just know when to stop! In some cases, you will have to handle it yourself so as not to burden your loved one. Otherwise, she will soon become suffocated from constant control and the need to justify herself, and she will fly free from this cage.
Keep in mind that your girlfriend may also feel jealous of you. Treat this calmly and with understanding. Do not give unnecessary reasons to doubt your loyalty.
- Don't leave your relationship in limbo
If you have really serious intentions and would like to connect your life with this girl, start discussing moving. Find out from her what she thinks about this, whether she is ready to move in with you or host you. If your chosen one does not plan to move and she is happy with everything, it is better for you to end the relationship with her, no matter how difficult it may be.
If she shares your intentions, discuss everything seriously down to the smallest detail. You shouldn't have any disagreements about this. Negotiate and look for compromises.
- Be ready to take responsibility
The person to whom they are moving bears the greatest responsibility. If you have agreed to live in your city, provide all the conditions so that your loved one is comfortable with you. Get your apartment in order, warn your parents and friends about her appearance in your life, and try to find the girl a job in advance.
Remember - a person leaves everything that is dear to him in order to be with you. This is quite a significant sacrifice, and you have to compensate for it with something. If you are not sure of your feelings and have doubts, you should not start this whole epic.
If you move, you will also have a hard time. You will have to leave your usual life, friends and family. It will take a long time before you adapt to a new place. If you feel coldness and doubts from the girl, don’t even think about going!
Watch this video and think again about all of the above.
Closing communication
There is an art to completing first contact correctly. The tactics here depend on whether the girl has fallen in love with you or not. In the first case, it is necessary to initiate the continuation of communication, in the second, tactfully say goodbye and not leave your interlocutor empty hopes.
If you liked the girl based on communication
There is no need to pretend to be cold and unapproachable if the conversation with the girl was enjoyable and you want to start a relationship. At the very least, you should thank her for the pleasant time spent. But in order to meet her again, you need to ask the girl about it directly or give her an obvious sign - a kiss, touching her face or hair, a long look.
Offer to meet again
Not everyone dares to ask a girl out directly. If you don’t have enough fortitude, you can give a hint - talk about an excellent cafe that has good reviews, a cinema, a quest room or another place. If a girl likes a guy, she will get the right message.
Useful advice from psychologists
By following the advice of psychologists on how to easily find a girl and build a relationship with her, a man will be able to avoid many mistakes and wrong actions, as well as develop valuable skills in communicating with the opposite sex. The tips cover the following points:
- after the start of a relationship, the life of both partners should improve, as does the motivation and meaning of the couple;
- love cannot be bought, therefore, showering a girl with gifts, but without developing the necessary qualities in himself, a man will never be loved;
- jealousy destroys relationships, since mutual respect and trust are the foundation of a family;
- attempts to change each other always end in disappointment, you need to change yourself, receiving a response from the girl;
- Feelings that flare up quickly can also fade away quickly, so love needs to be tested by time and actions.
To find a girl, to please her, to build a relationship, a man needs to remember all the advice and recommendations of experts mentioned above. It’s good if the relationship contains love, respect, joy from spending time together, internal harmony and the desire of partners to help each other.
How to develop a serious relationship?
It is not enough to just find the ideal and faithful girl; a man needs to cultivate in himself all the qualities and character traits without which it is impossible to build a serious relationship. You need to develop relationships with the person you like based on several principles:
- decisiveness - ladies choose men who are able to protect them, make decisions, and show courage under any circumstances;
- caring - it is important for a woman to show care, sympathy and empathy on the part of her chosen one;
- a sense of humor is a kind of male charisma that makes any conversation lively, interesting and relaxed;
- romance - any girl cannot resist someone who is capable of beautiful words and deeds;
- fidelity and honesty - relationships are based on truth and fidelity, and betrayal and betrayal destroy even the strongest families;
- generosity - if a man is ready to spend his money on a girl, it means he has serious plans for her;
- willingness to compromise - without the willingness to give in to each other and make sacrifices, relationships are a priori impossible.
If a man wants to find a pure, immaculate girl and build a serious relationship with her, first he needs to develop the above character traits. Otherwise, the relationship will not be long-term without prospects for the future.
Getting rid of complexes
Most often, men are prevented from asking a girl to meet because of banal complexes and self-doubt. Some are not satisfied with their appearance, others think their physical shape is not ideal, others are worried about their lifestyle or lack of success in their opinion. Although, according to statistics, most people have a complex that they are drawn to a man from childhood, without being justified and truthful.
Psychologists share advice on how to get rid of complexes in order to find a soul mate for a serious relationship. Namely:
- Women love not with their eyes, but with their ears, so a man’s external characteristics are a secondary factor of choice for them. First of all, they look at internal qualities, for example, whether a man will become a support in the family, a good husband, a caring and attentive partner for her.
- To become self-confident, you definitely need to monitor your physical fitness. A man should join a gym to believe in himself and look at himself with new eyes.
- You can highlight the beauty of your figure and impeccable taste with the help of clothes, shoes and accessories. To do this, you can read fashion magazines, follow fashion trends, or you can consult a stylist. Women will certainly appreciate a man's style and image, even if they do not have an ideal appearance.
- A woman should not feel the complexes and self-doubt of a young man. How a man presents himself is how others will see him.
- There is only one way to get rid of self-doubt - by fighting fears and ignorance of something. A man can take up extreme sports, proving to himself his unlimited abilities, increasing his intellectual capabilities, and new hobbies and hobbies will also help.
It is very important for a woman to be heard and understood, so a man needs to develop patience for any circumstances and situations. Having worked with self-esteem using the above methods, a man can see new horizons and opportunities in his life, including when building relationships with the opposite sex.
How to attract attention?
The next question after the question of where you can find a girl will be the problem of how a man can attract her attention and make her fall in love with him. This stage seems incredibly difficult to many men, although in practice everything happens quite easily and simply. To attract the attention of the person you like, you need to follow several rules:
- you need to show attention and admiration for the girl, without looking at other representatives of the fair sex;
- during the conversation you need to ask questions about her life, hobbies, priorities, commenting on what she said;
- It is imperative to maintain contact at a distance, write SMS, call and support in any difficulties;
- periodically the girl needs to be given flowers and small gifts to congratulate her on the holidays, remembering important dates in the relationship with her;
- show gallantry by offering your hand when entering from a vehicle, opening the door for her, giving compliments, etc.;
- maintain unobtrusive but regular tactile contact, holding her hand or hugging her.
Advice! Under no circumstances should you discuss your past relationships and former passions in front of a girl. All the attention of a man should be directed only to her. During the conversation, most of the dialogue should be given to the girl, since they are more talkative and appreciate interest in their direction.
How do you know if a dating site is reliable? 5 Signs of a Safe Dating
Not only sex should be safe, but also the methods of obtaining it. Read carefully, because these signs determine whether your data will end up on unwanted resources or remain virgin.
Protection of personal information
Before registering your page on a dating site, be sure to read the privacy policy. Do not skip this point, because this has become one of the methods used by scammers to obtain information, especially if you sign up for a paid subscription.
On popular dating services, unregistered users cannot view the pages of registered clients. Also, you should not connect social networking pages to a dating site. It’s better to send her in a personal message to your chosen one later.
free registration
Yes, you heard right, normal dating sites should have a paid and a free package. But registration is a prerequisite.
It's simple. A new client has the right to familiarize himself with the functions of the site and understand whether it is suitable for him or not. And after familiarization, the user can remain on a free account or pay money for additional functions. Next, I will tell you about popular dating sites, which also have paid registration.
High-quality search algorithm
Questioning new clients is necessary to better find a partner. The chosen ones for users are selected not at random, but taking into account their wishes for the appearance and character of the partner.
Filling out the questionnaire will also help avoid awkwardness if you are looking for a girl for the night or for a serious relationship. Your page will only be shown to those who have the same queries.
Quality service and feedback
Page moderation is necessary to exclude bots and scammers on the site. So you don’t need to think that she is needed to fuck the brains out of clients.
The support service of popular dating sites responds to customer messages quickly and efficiently. This is another reason to buy a paid account, because users who bring in money will automatically be treated better.
Information content of pages
Which girl’s page do you like better: the one with all the data + information about yourself or a blank page with a photo and age? Of course, the first option. Of course, if you're not just looking for a nice hole for the night.
A normal dating site places popular pages with full descriptions at the top of the search list, and empty ones at the bottom. Such an algorithm is needed for users to fill out their questionnaires.