One of the key success factors is developed willpower, which helps a person overcome difficulties and not succumb to the temptation to quit halfway. At the same time, many people are thinking about how to become a tougher person who, at the right time, can show strength of character and promote their ideas in a society of dissenters.
It is believed that a strong-willed person is firm in his beliefs, principles and ideals. He is self-confident, stress-resistant and copes with unexpected circumstances.
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However, to develop such qualities, everyone needs to make a lot of effort, comparable to daily trips to the gym to improve their physical performance.
Now we will tell you how to become a strong-willed person and develop self-confidence. If you listen to our advice and follow all the recommendations, you can improve your personality and become more successful in any business.
What kind of person can be called tough?
First of all, it is worth understanding who can be considered tough, because often the word “tough” is used to describe a rude and ruthless person who is capable of doing anything to achieve his goals. Naturally, a tough person can be just like that, but this is not at all necessary.
If you want to become tougher, you shouldn't go overboard and bury all your basic ideas about good and evil. Toughness can be manifested in the ability to firmly follow through, make important decisions, maintain composure in stressful situations, and take responsibility.
A tough person does not have to walk around gloomy with a stone face, looking at everyone from under his brows. He can be a cheerful and sincere person, but at the right moments he can show firmness and uncompromisingness.
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Typically, tough people are tempered by difficult life situations and working to overcome them. Over time, they develop a kind of immunity and psychological resistance to such circumstances, along with other useful qualities.
Thus, being tough can be useful in the following cases:
- conflict situations at work, accompanied by increased stress;
- unforeseen circumstances requiring a quick response;
- disputes in which you need to defend your point of view.
It is worth noting that toughness directly depends on willpower, which can be trained daily in different ways. Moreover, like all great things, this path begins with the simplest things.
What can uncontrolled anger turn into?
Before getting an answer to the question “how to become angry?”, you need to clearly understand that this emotion must be used skillfully. Excessive anger and uncontrolled aggression can have the opposite effect: a person will lose the respect of others, good relationships with friends, they will begin to be avoided and feared. Instead of achieving goals, building partnerships, participating in discussions and defending their interests, a person alone will reap the fruits of his uncontrollable emotions.
How to train willpower
Now we will give the most basic recommendations that will help you train your willpower. On the one hand, all this may seem easy, but you will encounter the real complexity of these recommendations in practice.
Is it worth becoming evil?
If your excessive kindness prevents you from living and achieving heights in your career, then it is definitely necessary to add anger to your character.
This does not mean that you should become completely evil and stop doing good deeds.
The main thing is to cultivate in yourself those character traits that will allow you to exist win-win in society and achieve your goals.
If you want to become evil, become evil, but you will have to go a long way to refract yourself and your attitudes.
It is likely that some people will turn away from you. You will refuse them, but they are not used to this. But these were energy vampires who took advantage of your gentleness and inability to refuse.
What qualities are inherent in a tough and strong-willed person?
In addition to the basic recommendations for training your willpower, we have compiled a list of the main qualities inherent in a tough and strong-willed person. We advise you to pay attention to them.
Determination
Quite often, a strong-willed person is distinguished by the ability to clearly set goals and strive to achieve them, despite external and internal stimuli.
Perseverance
Persistence helps him not to give up at the slightest setbacks, obstacles and doubts.
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Determination
At the same time, it is very important to be ready to make a difficult decision as soon as possible, and not to shirk responsibility or shift it to someone else.
Organization
Without clear planning, it is very difficult to achieve a specific goal, because almost any complex task requires systematics, control and consistent actions.
If a person is constantly subject to sudden impulses, it is very difficult for him to concentrate on something important.
Self-control
A strong-willed and tough person should always be able to control his feelings and emotions, while maintaining clarity of thought.
Anger and aggression: what's the difference?
According to the definition of psychologists, anger is a feeling that is oversaturated with various negative emotions. Anger is inherent in: anger, strong irritation, ill will and even rage. In this case, a negative emotion is positioned as a reaction to a particular situation, where the binding is a certain object.
Aggression is already a type of activity according to which other people can be harmed: morally and sometimes physically.
Moral support
She is always important. And even if a person is obsessed with the question of how to become evil, too. Do you have anyone close to you to look up to? There must be a person who will be an excellent example. You can remember him in especially difficult moments. Something like: “What would he do in such a situation? What would you do? If there is no one from your close circle, then you can find yourself a standard among famous people. Or characters. How is the Terminator or Rambo not an example?
You also shouldn’t overestimate yourself. Or, conversely, underestimate. But you definitely need to be prepared for difficulties - change is always difficult.
By the way, this should be done gradually, starting small. If a person suddenly shows up at work with a terrible grimace on his face, starts yelling at everyone from the doorway, after which he effectively kicks a chair and breaks a kettle, most likely an ambulance will be called for psychological help. The example is, of course, exaggerated, but the essence is clear. If, for example, a person is being exploited by his boss, then today he should be denied permission to go to the store to buy an energy drink for him. Tomorrow – refuse overtime work. Another day later, return him a stack of reports that should be studied by a completely different employee. Gradually, the boss will understand that it simply won’t be possible to exploit him anymore. The character is no longer the same.
What else do you need to know?
Sooner or later, a person who has achieved success in his goal will come to the realization: “I have become very angry (angry).” The desired has been achieved. Now the most important thing is not to overdo it with toughness of character. It is important that regular refusals, arguments and bickering do not become a habit. When a person is approached by someone who is not a stranger to him (parents, friends, significant other, someone who has ever helped, etc.), you need to forget about the rigidity of character. Otherwise, by communicating with them in a manner that has already become familiar, you can inadvertently offend them. And this does not have the best effect on relationships. Because there must be moderation in everything: both in kindness and in harshness. And the ability to find balance is one of the best traits of a person.
Ignore the "monsters under the bed"
Usually when you encounter a problem, you try to solve it. I would say that for most of us, life is simply a series of problem-solving scenarios at some level.
- Of course, the sooner you solve the problem, the better , at least in most cases.
- Some problems are easier to solve and more obvious, while others are more complex.
Chances are, those that have the most impact are also the most difficult to solve. They may require time and effort.
The correct course of action is to simply pretend they don't exist.
Of course, they won't actually go away, so while they linger in the back of your mind, they will continue to stress you out, affecting other aspects of your life.
Once this all blows up, your dark side will begin to rise to the surface even more. Fabulous! Go to the Land of Advice home page for more interesting stories.
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Can cruelty be justified?
People condemn cruelty, look for justifying arguments, or show indifference (if they have not experienced a negative impact on themselves). The reaction is usually determined by the reason for the negative behavior. If barbaric behavior is a way of self-gratification, intimidation, envy and revenge, it cannot be justified. An instant outburst of aggression, forced by serious circumstances (protection of a person, animal), is subject to explanation.
The main character of the novel "Crime and Punishment"
Interesting. Turning to classical literature, it is worth reading the novel “Crime and Punishment,” where Rodion Raskolnikov was first surprised by the callousness of those around him, then decided to take revenge for the insults of the victims. The main character decides to kill the old pawnbroker. If you indulge in reasoning, a good person will not encroach on a person’s life. Rodion became cruel due to circumstances. Readers of the novel find an explanation for Raskolnikov's anger as the inability to come to terms with the troubles of his family.
For an analogy, we can turn to the image of Andrei Platonovich Platonov from the story “Yushka”. The man is weakened by consumption, but has a kind soul. His fellow villagers call him Yushka. Platonov works at a forge, helps people, but in return for kindness he receives cruelty: children insult Yushka, throw sand at him, adults consider it normal to inflict physical blows. The cruelty of people who offend Platonov cannot be explained or justified; the person does no harm to anyone.
Thus, cruelty is justifiable for serious reasons. These are isolated moments; more often than not, a callous character deserves condemnation.
Motivation
For a good person to become evil, he needs compelling reasons. Of course, many people have sudden outbursts. So a person thinks: “That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t help anyone anymore and forgive nothing!” But then she somehow forgets about it and continues to be “Mother Teresa.”
Need motivation. How to become evil? Just remember the reasons that cause this “need”. You can even write them out: “Colleagues constantly leave all the “dirty” work to me. When they are having fun, I stay in the office late. I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t take care of my personal life. It's time to stop this. I still love myself." The principle is the same, even if it’s not about work. Here is an example regarding family: “I am 30 years old, but I still do what my mother wants. I can't resist her, she constantly tells me what I need to do. The situation needs to change - I don’t feel like a man and I can’t present myself as such in society.”
In general, in other words, a person must make a firm decision to change something. Plus, his confidence will be noticed by those around him who want to sit on his neck.
Who needs it?
The question of how to become evil is usually preoccupied by very pleasant and tactful people, whose kindness is blatantly taken advantage of by others. At one point, their tolerance ends and they long to change the situation.
A person sets himself a very difficult task - to become the opposite of himself. Naturally, this cannot be done without difficulties. You won't be able to become very angry right away. It is as difficult as it is for an aggressive, irritable person to turn into a kind person.
By the way, you don’t have to become exactly evil. Many people confuse the concepts. It's better to just get tougher. And in this matter, the most important thing is to start saying “no”. It is difficult to refuse, especially when a person always said “yes”, agreeing to help, help out, save a comrade.
When a colleague once again comes up with a request that sounds like this: “Replace me tomorrow, my child has a matinee,” you just need to refuse. And to the surprise: “But you always agree?” - answer without smiling: “Actually, I have a day off, which I have already planned.” This will cause confusion for the person asking. Perhaps he will even whisper in someone’s ear: “He’s somehow angry today,” but he’s unlikely to come up with such a request again.
CORRECTION METHODS
It is best if a qualified psychologist works with an aggressive child. Parental knowledge is often not enough to effectively correct behavior. Work with aggression is carried out in several directions:
- learning acceptable ways of expressing anger, dissatisfaction, anger;
- training in self-control, the ability to recognize negative emotions by sensations in the body and calm down in time;
- formation of the ability to empathize, trust, sympathize, and show mercy.
If the situation at home is tense or the child is going through a parental divorce, psychological counseling is recommended for all family members. To cope with aggression, it is important to place the child in a calm, friendly, loving environment. Neurological diseases require treatment.
Parents should also provide all possible support to their child. It is important to remember that he is aggressive only because he does not know how to do otherwise. Read below about ways to help cope with emotions.
WHAT DO YOU FEEL?
When a child is angry, you need to ask him to describe what he feels, where the feeling of anger is located in his body. Usually children describe in great detail how their cheeks are burning, their palms are tingling, their hearts are pounding, and they want to scream in their throats. It is important that the baby learns to listen to his feelings. You need to ask him to verbally report his condition. For example: “I’m very angry,” “You better not touch me, I might lose my temper.”
NAME CALLS
Anger needs to be expressed in an acceptable way. For example, instead of offensive insults, it is better to use humorous name-calling. The parties to the conflict must agree on what words they will say to each other. For example: “You are a potato.” “And you are dill.” At the end, when anger is replaced by laughter, you need to end the skirmish with a pleasant word: “And you are the sun (kitten, sugar).”
Aggression in older children can be calmed down with name-calling in poetic form. For example:
“Lenka - foam - sausage, There is a wasp on a string. Lenka - foam - sausage, Rotten cabbage. She ate a cat without a tail and said: “Delicious.”
RELAXATIONS
As your child learns to recognize his anger, he needs to be taught self-control. One way is to relax. You need to ask the baby to pretend to be angry, and then try to lie down and relax. You need to close your eyes and imagine him swinging on the waves on an air mattress. You can do a light massage with nursery rhymes. The main thing is for the child to feel that anger is a temporary emotion that he is able to control.
EVIL DOLL
You can give your baby a toy that does not have a very flexible character. We need to come up with and tell her story, ask our son or daughter to re-educate her. To prevent the game from becoming boring, the adult must actively participate in it, control the second doll, ask how the student is feeling, whether he has learned to deal with anger.
SCREAM BAG
Another effective way to get rid of anger and prevent aggression is to scream into a bag. The child must be allowed to shout out any words, even the worst ones. He would rather do it now than later on the street. After the baby feels relief, the bag is shaken out the window.
ART THERAPY
You can offer an angry child a piece of paper and pencils and ask them to draw their feelings. At first, he will choose dark tones and press the pencil with force. As the pressure weakens, you need to propose a new idea - to depict happiness or a dream. Finger paints are also well suited for art therapy, as you can use your whole hand to paint on canvas. Children 5 years and older can draw caricatures of their bully. At the final stage, the bad drawing is destroyed - torn or burned.
ACTION
If the child is very angry and relaxation is impossible, you need to show how to properly throw out the negativity. For example, have a pillow fight, throw a ball into a basketball hoop, hit a punching bag, play bowling. It will also be useful to take an aggressive child to some sports section where he will spend his energy (swimming, martial arts, acrobatics).
Is it possible to cultivate anger for your own benefit?
Excessive anger is the presence of negative emotions. Therefore, when trying to change your character, you need to do it in such a way that you begin to feel better.
How to become angry and cruel ? If you want to dramatically change your character, pay attention to the following tips:
- Understand the main rule: you don’t owe anyone anything , just like other people don’t owe you anything.
- Do what you want . Forget about the opinions of others.
- Stop answering “yes” . This fact will be very surprising to those around you, because before you have always helped them. Perhaps someone will be offended. But you take this with cold indifference, you have your own affairs and problems, and you must take care of them first.
- Develop self -confidence .
- You, a unique, inimitable person , no one has the right to influence your opinion.
- Learn to defend your opinion .
Speech must be confident, with clear pronunciation of words. Say what you think, don’t be afraid to express your opinion, arguing that the person will be offended. You are not responsible for other people's emotions, and you can say what you think. Please note that sometimes this leads to conflicts; be prepared for such a turn of events.
