Every day we are surrounded by many people, some we meet on the way to work, some are our neighbors, some are relatives or friends, and all these people are so different and dissimilar from each other, each has their own character and temperament. , as well as features of social activity. There are extroverts who are open to communication and introverts who are more comfortable being alone with themselves, but there are also closed people who became so not because of their temperament, but for some special reasons. In this article we will look at what human isolation is, how it manifests itself, and why it arises. You will also know how you can overcome your isolation.
Appearance Features
A closed person in most cases is distinguished by thinness rather than fullness and density. His face is elongated, his head is often ovoid in shape, his nose is straight, his profile is “angular” (observed due to some shortening of the chin). The relationship between a long face, a thin figure and introversion is quite high. However, such a combination does not always indicate closedness. Overweight people also belong to the category of schizoids, but much less frequently.
Other people
Difficulties arise when these people decide to enter into a relationship, whether it is friendship or love. Global closedness is difficult for a partner to tolerate, tends to depression, gives a feeling of loneliness, uselessness, and often being used.
Photo by Mike Kotsch on Unsplash
An emotionally closed partner may claim love, but not show emotion in any way, living by his own rules. Most often, the relationship ends along with the partner’s patience, and our hero is left alone again.
Basic values, interests
The inner world is the main wealth of introverts. The character traits of schizoids are such that they are constantly immersed in themselves. The opposite is hyperthymic, open to everything that happens around them. Closed people value their inner world very much, but they often do not care about the external world, since it seems rougher and more primitive than their own fantasies, dreams, and thoughts.
The eminent German psychologist and physician Kretschmer compared introverts to Roman villas, whose facades are very simple, the windows are closed, and rich feasts take place inside. Thanks to this colorful metaphor, he emphasized that the difference between the dull appearance of representatives of this character and their inner world is extremely great. In contrast to hyperthymia, an uncommunicative person is characterized by restraint and secrecy. It is impossible to tell from him what “feasts” are taking place in his soul.
Definition
Closedness means fenced off, remoteness of an object or group from society. It arises under the influence of temperament, a characteristic tendency to be more interested in oneself than in the world around us. Or due to external factors: low status of the environment, persistent dissatisfaction of psychophysiological or social needs. Because of this, anger develops, which is why sometimes closed people are quite aggressive.
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Do not confuse closedness and agnosia; detachment from the world is not a disease.
Agnosia is a problem with vision, hearing, or speech during normal functioning of the body.
Closed groups can be large or small. Large closed communities are studied in separate branches of psychology (ethnic, political), since they mainly include tribes living separately. Psychological science as such studies small groups.
Psychology divides small closed communities into four types.
- Groups closed under duress, due to prevailing circumstances, and not of their own free will (lost tourists or survivors of a shipwreck).
- Groups isolated by society not of their own free will (prisoners, soldiers, orphans, patients undergoing compulsory treatment).
- Groups that are closed voluntarily, but under the influence of circumstances (living remotely, but calmly accepting it, or monks who, of their own free will, become hermits due to their religion).
- Interest groups that are closed due to obvious distinctive features from society (pupils of elite schools or colleges, astronauts, geologists or sailors).
Despite the factorial differences, the four types of groups are united by the inviolability of boundaries and an authoritative structure. In each of the communities it is clearly defined: who is the manager and who is the subordinate. Unchangeable rigidity is formed by the group's habitat.
The main contribution to the study of the definition of “closedness” was made by Erik Homburger Erikson. He identified two overriding principles: integrity and totality. Where integrity is a positive quality of society. Totality is a negative characteristic due to absolute isolation. As an example, the concept of “totalitarian regime” is suitable, which implies the protection of a group from the outside world.
The inviolability of the boundaries of totally closed groups leads to a lack of development of their members, a clear opposition of the community to the outside world, which is why, over time, conflicts arise within and the community disintegrates.
The indicated characteristics of the closedness of the group are projected onto the individual. Only a community is closed because of its participants, and a person is closed because of his character, temperament, and social attitudes. The latter include:
- the human essence is anger; for people to be good, they must be kept under control;
- Respect and control can only be achieved through force and punishment;
- only a person with power knows how to live;
- There is always someone who knows better what the other needs.
The more a person is closed from society, the higher the level of reluctance to change. A social psychologist, at the request of an introvert, corrects the psyche, accompanies and supports his changes. Forced treatment leads to more serious problems.
Communication
A closed person in a group generally stays aloof and prefers to remain silent. His contacts are usually limited to a small circle of friends and relatives. Such people are reluctant to talk about themselves, and you can often hear that information has to be literally “pulled out of them with pincers.”
It is not surprising that schizoid people have difficulty communicating. The secrecy is explained by the reluctance to share one’s own experiences. Introverts do not feel the need to contact the outside world, because they are quite comfortable alone with themselves. As one poet put it, they seek to “wrap themselves in the silk of their soul.” On the other hand, communication really poses a particular difficulty for them, since schizoids feel awkward and inept in the process of communication.
Kretschmer cited another vivid metaphor, where he compared a closed individual with a ciliate, cautiously approaching an unfamiliar object and observing it from behind half-lowered cilia, hesitantly extending its tentacles, and then immediately withdrawing them.
Despite the natural desire to isolate themselves, a shy person sometimes suffers from a lack of communication. This is especially common in childhood and adolescence.
Definition of the concept
Closedness is a negative psychological trait of an individual, expressed in the limitation of his communication with people. A closed person experiences serious difficulties at work, it is difficult for him to make new acquaintances, and it is difficult for him to make contact.
According to statistics, approximately 60% of the total population of our planet is familiar with isolation. In most cases, it is observed in childhood.
- For some, isolation may be periodic in nature - it manifests itself in the presence of certain circumstances. There will be situational closure here.
- For others, it may be permanent. In this case, it could be triggered either by psychological factors or by a disease, a sign of which is an internal concentration on one’s personality.
Emotional background
The experiences of closed people are unique and sometimes seem paradoxical to others. On the one hand, introverts are distinguished by restraint and coldness, on the other hand, they are vulnerable and emotional. Schizoids show an acute reaction to everything that affects their own values. Often this is a spiritual response to injustice, rudeness, disorder.
Currently, the so-called emotional intelligence is being actively discussed. One of its signs is understanding the feelings and moods of others. This is a trait that many introverts cannot boast of. Closed people, of course, suspect that certain feelings are raging within you, but they must be informed about this. They rely on what is said, while not paying attention to intonation and facial expression.
Causes
Closedness can manifest itself at any age due to various factors. The main reasons that provoke a person’s unsociability:
- Under the influence of your own temperament. Phlegmatic or melancholic children are more interested in being in their own world.
- The teenager failed to complete the task due to conflict or misunderstanding among peers. The result is frustration and a storm of negative emotions. Together with the indifferent attitude of the parents, they push the child to close down and try to prevent the situation from repeating itself.
- Due to not receiving proper parental attention and care in childhood, the child withdraws from society with the idea that no one will ever need him.
- Children brought up in a dysfunctional family necessarily become closed. This involves devaluing their performance, no matter how well they did. As a result, fear, shame, and guilt are formed due to any action.
- In adulthood, closedness is formed due to a traumatic event. After the betrayal of a loved one or close friend, a natural decision arises to protect oneself from a similar situation in the future. Women, after their husband’s betrayal, are unable to trust other men due to a painful condition. Such people may well deceive themselves, thinking that they no longer need anyone. In fact, they unconsciously hide behind feigned indifference, because it is easier to devalue the importance of others than to recognize and overcome their own pain.
The list of traumatic causes can be endless; they all affect a person’s mental health to varying degrees.
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Features of lifestyle, attitudes, activities
The inner world of introverts is orderly, and they expect the same from the outer world. Their way of thinking and internal organization are reflected in all their actions. For example, they find it easy to accept rules and follow them. They achieve success in the professional field where they are prescribed to act in a certain way. Any deviation from the norm causes irritation in introverts.
At the same time, serious contradictions often arise at work. The desire of a schizoid to always follow instructions can result in accusations of formalism. At the same time, the above qualities of introverts are simply irreplaceable, for example, in military affairs or in financial management.
The psychology of behavior of a person who is closed in on himself turns an argument with him into an unbearable process. And all because the introvert is captive to plans, schemes, forms, words. This is reflected in the fact that mental constructs and theories are more convincing and valuable to him than specific life facts. For this reason, schizoids often find themselves in opposition, preferring not to mix with fashion, the opinions of others, or mass movements. Keeping their distance is not difficult for them. Introverts are often surrounded by an atmosphere of mystery; they are considered originals with a touch of aristocracy.
Closedness Closed person
She had her own little world in her soul. She carried it within herself and no one knew about it except her. This world was closed to me. The door leading into it opened slightly once and then slammed shut.
Haruki Murakami. South of the border, west of the sun.
Closedness as a personality quality is the tendency to block others’ access to one’s personal space, to one’s social and mental world.
One person closed, closed and closed himself. In fact, he didn’t have any goal, he didn’t even think about creating any system, it just gave him inner joy and satisfaction. And it was so simple: just close it! And no one goes in there anymore, no one comes out. People start looking for another way out, and you close it there too! They keep rushing about, but there is no way out. Closed! It was so interesting, it fueled one’s own greatness and power: they went there and you closed them, they came here and you closed them! He was so carried away that he did not notice that his space gradually narrowed and when there were only a few doors left, he closed them all and found himself in a closed room all alone. He tried to open them again, but couldn't. He mixed up all the keys! And then he began to shout to be opened, but no one heard him.
A closed person can be easily identified in communication by non-verbal manifestations. Just as a chaste virgin takes care of her innocence, closeness, like Cerberus, guards her personal space and is jealous of maintaining a distance between herself and people. A closed person maintains formal relationships, has little interest in the interests and intentions of the interlocutor, and is completely focused on himself and his thoughts. Knowing the power of the subconscious, which clearly receives non-verbal signals, a closed person assumes a “lock pose” - arms crossed on the chest, fingers clenched into a fist, legs crossed. If such a person is sitting, then he leans back, increasing the distance between himself and his communication partner. A manifestation of closedness is sitting on a chair “astride” with crossed arms. True, sometimes such a pose indicates an unconscious feeling of superiority. According to contemporaries, this is how A.S. Pushkin liked to sit in a relaxed atmosphere. Crossed legs signal a desire to maintain a distant distance, emphasize one's independence, and defend one's own interests.
Having the same external manifestation, closedness appears in two types that are significantly different from each other: habitually closed and neurotically closed. A habitually closed person brought his closeness out of the nursery, he was raised that way, he got used to it and therefore does not experience the slightest anxiety, pain or fear from his manifested personality quality. A neurotically closed person closed himself off like a turtle under its shell, not from a harmful upbringing, but under the influence of psychological factors, excessive introversion, distrust of people and of life itself. As if with an invisible wall, he fenced off his inner world from prying eyes, and it is difficult for people to guess what he is thinking about.
The hero of the story A.P. Chekhov's “Man in a Case”, the teacher of the Belikov gymnasium is a vivid example of a closed person who has not found mutual understanding and agreement with the world. Even in clear weather, he “went out in galoshes and with an umbrella and certainly in a warm coat with cotton wool. And he had an umbrella in a case, and a watch in a gray suede case, and when he took out a penknife to sharpen a pencil, his knife was also in a case; and his face, it seemed, was also in a cover, since he kept hiding it in his raised collar. He wore dark glasses, a sweatshirt, stuffed his ears with cotton wool, and when he got on the cab, he ordered the top to be raised. In a word, this man had a constant and irresistible desire to surround himself with a shell, to create for himself, so to speak, a case that would seclude him and protect him from external influences. Reality irritated him, frightened him, kept him in constant anxiety, and, perhaps, in order to justify this timidity of his, his aversion to the present, he always praised the past and what never happened; and the ancient languages that he taught were for him, in essence, the same galoshes and an umbrella where he hid from real life... And Belikov also tried to hide his thoughts in a case. The only things that were clear to him were circulars and newspaper articles in which something was prohibited. When a circular forbade students from going out after nine o'clock in the evening, or some article prohibited carnal love, then this was clear and definite to him; prohibited - that's it. In permission and permission there was always hidden for him an element of doubt, something unsaid and vague. When a drama club, or a reading room, or a tea house was allowed in the city, he would shake his head and say quietly: “It is, of course, so and so, it’s all wonderful, but it’s as if nothing would come of it.”
Closedness does not trust anyone. She walks through life with a closed heart. It often becomes the bitter fruit of idealization. For example, a person became a member of the ruling party. Without noticing it, he begins to show pride in all its intricate forms. Looks down on people, with a feeling of superiority. There is a feeling of being chosen. Pride immediately closes the heart. A newly minted party member develops pickiness and unbridled criticism. A closed person loses respect for other people and a sense of empathy - the ability to feel the feelings of others. A party member, showing “love for money,” begins to look for the way to the “trough.” His system of adaptation to the outside world is disrupted.
Closedness is an adequate response to threats to life. Prisoners are a closed people. Among them there is a principle: “Don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask.” An open person does not live long in prison. Openness there is destructive. To survive, you need to close yourself off, position yourself in a favorable light. In other words, secrecy thrives in an environment where it is foolish to reveal the true motivation of one’s actions. People influenced by ignorance and passion are more closed-minded. An unselfish person has nothing to hide. Closedness does not live in a benign environment. Closeness, like a harsh censor, distorts the information entering the mind. As a result, a person sees an illusory reality. Censorship of the false ego also works for an open person, but for a closed person, in addition to this, filters are included, introduced by protection from society.
Overcoming closedness is extremely difficult, because for a closed person it is not something superficial or painful; on the contrary, it protects him from life’s misfortunes. Therefore, she holds on to it with her hands and feet, considering herself prosperous and sane. Advice, arguments, real facts meet powerful resistance. Everything is correct, because the main function of closure is to protect yourself from the destructive influence of the outside world. Closedness is eliminated by cultivating its opposite - openness. This requires either a long-term immersion of a closed person in an atmosphere of love and trust, or his own awareness of the ineffectiveness and harmfulness of his closeness.
Every person goes through life lessons. Closedness is not focused on the perception of new things, the lessons of fate remain unlearned. Therefore, she is left “for the second year” to go through the difficulties again. Living with a closed heart, closedness does not respond to the signs and prompts of fate. This is how the parable talks about it. Conversation between an Angel and an Archangel : The Angel reports to the Archangel about accompanying his charge on Earth: - Alive. Goes to work. He hopes for something. - For what? - Hard to say. Twice I showed him a happy dream - he doesn’t see it. He says he gets tired at work. - What about work? - Yes, like everyone else. Bosses. Bustle. Smoking room. Gossip. — Are the bosses harsh? - Yes, the bosses are like bosses. The same as everywhere else. For some reason he is afraid of him... - Did you drive away fears? - By itself. Still on the way to the office. He flapped his wings above his head. Even cleared the clouds. I had to hit my ear with my wing so that the sun would notice. - And after work? - The shops. TV. To wash the dishes. Internet. Dream. — Did you break the TV? - Certainly. I bought a new one for some reason... - Did you turn off the Internet? - Five days in a row. He just started hanging around at work. Till late evening. They can do that. - So, what about the weekend? - Sleep until lunch. Cleaning of the apartment. In the evening - friends. Stupid conversations. Vodka. Home after midnight. In the morning with a headache under the covers. Or to the TV. Or to the computer. - And she? - Very close. Three houses away. They go to the same supermarket for groceries. — Did you push me in line? - Everything is as it should be. And beyond the instructions, at the bus stop. On holidays. — Have you checked the fate lines? - Yes, they combine! That's the point... This is such a city... such a way of life... well, I can't take it anymore, boss! An impossible task! - Talkers! Where is your list of potent remedies? - Here it is, chief. Flu with fever and delirium. Dislocation, fracture. Car accident. Bankruptcy. Fire. Riots on the streets. Financial crisis. Civil war... - Enough, slow down... Two hundred and eighty-fifth such report! We have completely forgotten how to work!!! You know what, contact a parallel thread. In the name of Love, consider permission to take extreme measures received! Just choose one thing. - There are... choose one thing!
In a word, closedness is not even ready to accept help from above.
Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/
Psychology of schizoid children
These inhospitable and gloomy representatives of the younger generation react very weakly or not at all to criticism from adults. They prefer to avoid large companies and noisy games. Due to a lack of interest, problems with academic performance may occur. At the same time, the withdrawn child behaves in such a way as if he is constantly waiting for some kind of trick from those around him. As a rule, children of the schizoid type are distinguished by a strong attachment to their mother and have a hard time being separated from her, even for a short time. This is explained by the manifestation of fear of being forgotten and abandoned.
Some people mistakenly draw an analogy between withdrawn and shy children. At the same time, the former do not want to communicate with others, while the latter, on the contrary, need communication, but do not know how to make contact.
Characteristic manifestations
Loneliness and silence are signs of a closed person
Let's look at what the signs of a closed person are:
- the presence of self-doubt and self-confidence - such an individual remains silent, does not express his opinion out loud, and will never be an initiator or leader;
- a closed person is not talkative, often silent, and when asked questions he answers reservedly, in short phrases;
- such a person is very shy, does not feel the desire to be in the center of everyone's attention;
- such an individual is too serious and behaves passively;
- a feeling of serious difficulties in communicating with society - it is extremely difficult for such a person to achieve success in his personal life and career growth;
A closed personality can be recognized even before communicating with her, by a number of manifestations:
- such a person always has his hands either crossed or in his pockets;
- as a rule, the head is lowered or the gaze is directed downward;
- a reserved person tries to remain unnoticed, will never dress brightly or wear makeup;
- if a forced conversation takes place, he will not look the interlocutor in the eyes.
Where it all begins
The psychology of children of the schizoid type is formed under the influence of many factors. Let's look at them in more detail:
— Subtlety of mental organization and other psychological characteristics of the child. Closedness is especially characteristic of melancholic and phlegmatic people. When communicating with their child, parents should take into account that a positive result can be achieved with a sensitive and attentive attitude. You should not rudely invade his inner world in the hope of re-education. Otherwise, the child will completely withdraw into himself and close himself off.
— Isolation can be caused by conflicts with friends, illness, misunderstanding of peers. In this case, it is important for adults to find out the true reason for the closedness and gently help the child get out of the situation.
— Introverts often grow up in families where one child is raised. In the absence of experience communicating with a sister or brother, forced to play independently, they receive incorrect communicative attitudes, therefore, their ability to communicate develops poorly. In this case, parents are recommended to facilitate the child’s contact with friends.
- Lack of attention. When adults try to free themselves from the child, he begins to turn to them less and less often with his “trivial” problems and questions. As a result, over time, children and parents simply have nothing to talk about; they have no common ground. It is important to take into account that the psychology of behavior of a person who is withdrawn into himself is not formed in one day. Therefore, it is quite natural that parents, for example, after work, devote time to some of their own affairs. Concern about a situation should be shown when it is repeated systematically. It is important to be interested in your child’s problems and listen to him.
- Containment of desires, emotions. Even an adult needs to “let off steam” and share his own experiences. And for a child this desire is even stronger, since every day is filled with discoveries for him. If children understand that their parents are not trying to listen to them, then the process of restraining emotions begins to gain momentum. Such a restriction affects not only the general development of the child, but also his physical health.
- Dissatisfaction with the child’s behavior. The problem of communication in psychology is considered in the aspect of constant censure. At the same time, emotional contact between parents and child disappears. Adults strive to ensure that the child is properly dressed and shod, but pay much less attention to his inner world. The causes of the problem can be very different, and at first glance they are not entirely serious. For example, a child is not the gender you would like, or a child interferes with career advancement. As a result, an inattentive attitude results in aggression, timidity, isolation, and touchiness.
How to get rid of isolation
Communication with people is an important component of modern life
- Understand your feelings. It is important to understand what exactly led you to become isolated. By identifying the reason, you can overcome your shyness.
- Learn to think positively. Stop being critical of your personality.
- Engage in self-development.
- Develop self-confidence. Decide on a hobby. Once you start receiving results from your activities, you will believe in your strength.
- Gradually leave your comfort zone, expand your surroundings.
- If you find it difficult to communicate with people, start with an exercise. Stand in front of a mirror and have a conversation with your reflection, imagining that it is someone else.
- If you cannot cope with isolation on your own, and you realize that this character trait is a problem, then you should seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will be able to identify what exactly influenced the development of isolation. Taking into account your reason, it will determine what type of therapy you need (group trainings, individual sessions, or just lifestyle correction).
Now you know, if a person withdraws into himself, for what reasons this could happen. Remember that closed people have difficulty communicating, they have problems at work, in their personal lives, and even develop somatic diseases. That’s why it’s so important to confront your isolation by developing sociability and confidence.
What to do if your child is withdrawn
- Children who withdraw into themselves need additional emotional support (especially in crowded places where they feel uncomfortable). In a crowd, parents should pay attention to the child: hold hands more often, ask distracting questions, tell something funny. If your child appears confused, do not leave him alone.
- Help your child include new friends in his social circle. Visit playgrounds and hobby clubs. Talk to other parents to help your child connect. However, do not force them to communicate against their will - this may worsen the situation.
- Choose read-aloud works that contain a lot of informal dialogue between characters. The child will learn new patterns for dialogue with peers and work on communication skills. Home theater and rehearsals with the characters’ lines will also help.
- Become the initiator of conversations with strangers more often - in a museum, kindergarten, shopping centers. The child needs to get used to the idea that contact with people can be easy and pleasant.
- Put your gadgets aside. A child may not feel the need to communicate because from early childhood he has observed how family members spend time apart, going about their business on the Internet. It is worth adding more live communication into everyday life: for example, discuss with your child at a family dinner what he is going to do tomorrow, what is bothering him.
Is complete isolation necessary?
Common sense is a useful skill or trait in a person that makes it possible to correctly assess a situation and act correctly. Sitting closed from everyone, a person does not understand that he has a problem. He explained everything to himself in such colors that everything was just perfect, but if he took any actions that would bring him back into society, it would be just hell.
It is difficult to help a person who rejects that very help. Although there are still introverts who find the strength to look at themselves honestly and accept the help of a psychiatrist.
In complete isolation there is only degradation, and any introvert is heading there. Even if he locks himself in his apartment and reads (this can’t be called degradation), he has a high risk of mental changes, because it is impossible to develop without contact with society.
The process of losing common sense occurs slowly, but it is almost impossible to restore it. Over time, strange thoughts can materialize into actions that can cause irreparable damage to the introvert himself or even to those around him.
