- September 22, 2018
- Psychology of Personality
- Antonova Ksenia
You've probably noticed that there are people whom everyone likes, but they don't make any effort to do so. They are always admired by others, they are energetic and beautiful. And, despite their success in society, they do not feel the least bit of arrogance. On the contrary, everyone tries to communicate with them. We are talking about charming people.
Brief character description
What is "charming"? This is what they say about a person who manages to win people over without making any effort. They radiate positive energy and optimism, despite the fact that they may have difficulties at work, with finances, etc. Charming people are always distinguished from others by their constant confidence and goodwill.
Another amazing property is that even skeptics like them. It is for this reason that many people want to become charming. They make excellent leaders who will always support and help. The life of a charming person is busy, they attend various events, travel actively and meet with friends. Therefore, it is not surprising that many admire them.
An important quality of the people in question is that they do not need approval because they are self-sufficient and confident. They also achieve their goals, while taking into account the interests of others. What character traits does a charming person have?
Charm in confidence
This is a whole complex of character traits and manners of a man. But the main thing that all charming guys have is self-confidence. He knows very well what he wants, so it is impossible to confuse or confuse him. Complexes, tightness, timidity are antonyms of male charm. An insecure person is easy to convince; he is like a weather vane that turns in the direction the wind blows.
Self-confidence affects relationships with women and other areas. Representatives of the weaker sex perceive a self-confident man as stronger. On an intuitive level, he appears to be a protective leader. In relationships with partners and in business, such a person achieves success because his opinion is listened to and considered authoritative.
Willingness to learn
One of the hallmarks of charming people is their willingness to learn. They do not have the goal of being the best in everything; they understand and accept that there are people better than them in some area. Such individuals do not strive to always be winners. They try to give as much as possible to others, without expecting reward or praise.
A charming person admires the talents of other people. They are also willing to learn something new all the time. They do not hesitate to ask for an explanation of something they do not understand, or for help with anything, because they always strive for self-improvement and development.
General recommendations
So, what to do to become charming:
- accept and love yourself;
- develop positive thinking, share it with other people;
- love your life, the world, people;
- maintain uniqueness and individuality, but do not try to stand out from the crowd;
- adhere to strong convictions, defend your views;
- don't sacrifice yourself;
- be sincerely interested in the needs of other people, help (but only when asked);
- observe the “here and now” principle in everything (act, speak, listen, solve problems, express real emotions);
- accept other people, respect everyone’s individuality;
- develop a sense of humor, learn the art of smiling;
- learn to see dignity in people;
- be able to ask for help;
- do not complain, do not shift responsibility to other people;
- give compliments, learn to communicate, not get personal;
- develop psychological flexibility, be open to new things;
- to fulfill promises;
- maintain a balance of selfishness and altruism.
Remember that it is impossible to please all people. Some people don't like even the most charming people. You will definitely find “your” people, but don’t be upset if someone doesn’t understand or accept you.
Treat everyone with respect
Charming people treat everyone with respect. It doesn't matter whether it's a financier or a waiter, they will always treat you politely. A charming person understands that people will not have a good opinion of him if they see him interacting rudely with anyone.
They also take into account that each person has his own opinion, which must be respected. People feel this respect and treat him the same way. Even during an argument, people who are naturally charming do not lose their composure, politely express their opinions and listen to the opinions of others.
“Mirror” the emotions of the interlocutor
Psychologists know that others begin to sympathize with a person more if he begins to “mirror” the emotions and gestures of his interlocutor. Charming people know this rule and use it. During a conversation, they look the other person in the eyes because eye contact builds trust in the interlocutor.
If you smile or frown, a charming person will do the same. And he does this not only because he knows about this technique, but also because he is sincerely interested in the interlocutor, listens carefully to him and is focused on the conversation. Therefore, they like to communicate with people who are characterized by charm on various topics and turn to them for advice.
Ability to be a good communicator5
American educator and writer Dale Carnegie claims that a person’s charm is, first of all, the ability to conduct a dialogue. No one likes someone who always interrupts and talks about themselves. A charming person listens carefully to the speaker, looks directly at him, while nodding or assenting, asking leading questions, laughing where necessary. This kind of participation attracts everyone.
They behave confidently and mysteriously with women. Even if they clearly show that they like the girl, they will never seem immensely in love. They have a certain amount of inaccessibility that is very attractive to the fairer sex. If a man has charm, he will never become henpecked.
They have a very pronounced masculinity, they are sexually attractive, and they know how to dress beautifully. A young man with charm will not leave any girl indifferent. Another striking example of such a representative of the stronger sex is actor Marlon Brando. A true Hollywood sex symbol. He himself repeatedly said in interviews: “Two minutes are enough for me to seduce any woman.”
The following will help boost your charm:
- Psychological and motivational literature;
- “Live” trainings from famous personalities with practice;
- Online courses to boost your confidence.
This is useful for men with complexes who want to learn how to establish connections with other people and dream of success among women. The charm of the stronger sex is not a myth or an innate gift, but long-term work on oneself.
Able to find common themes
Most often, people look for contradictions and differences, so the topics they choose for conversation develop into an argument. But charming people try to find common ground. By finding common topics, they can build an interesting conversation with the interlocutor.
Such a conversation turns out to be full of positive emotions - after all, a person is always pleased to know that someone shares his hobbies. Therefore, if you want to be considered a pleasant and interesting interlocutor, learn not only to argue correctly, but also look for common topics for conversation.
How to be a charming man
1. Sense of humor
. It is very difficult to find a woman who could resist the witty jokes of a cheerful man. There are those who don’t know how to joke, although they try very hard, but most often this leads to stupid ridicule and contempt. There is nothing worse for a woman than a man who makes inappropriate jokes, lowering himself in the eyes of the people around him. Of course, it’s quite difficult to cultivate a sense of humor, but you can minimize the number of jokes that women don’t laugh at. If you can't find an arsenal of jokes for special occasions, give up this idea and practice the charm of your smile, it is also very important.
Tactile contact
Touching allows you to better convey emotions to your interlocutor. But most people don't use it. Charismatic and charming people use tactile contact during conversations. For example, they don't just verbally congratulate the person, but add a handshake or hug.
Skilled speakers, wanting to win over the interlocutor, can give a friendly pat on the shoulder or shake the hand. Of course, you also need to take into account a person’s personal space - after all, not everyone likes to be touched. Charming individuals understand when tactile contact is appropriate because they observe their interlocutor, which endears them to others.
Qualities That Kill a Guy's Ability to Charm Women
A man is considered charming because he has the ability to attract the fair sex. If he thinks, behaves and does things that turn women off, then they will definitely not be charmed, even if the guy tries to compliment him and behave as well as possible.
If a man is nervous around women, doubts himself, and tries to make women “like” him (instead of making them feel attracted), then he will not be considered charming. But those who do something useful and care about girls are considered attractive. Let's figure out why this happens, and also figure out how to be charming.
Not afraid to be funny
Charismatic people are not afraid to appear stupid or funny. You especially need to remember this rule when you want to please a lady - a charming young man knows that he will not seem stupid to her if he does something for her sake.
People endowed with natural charm will not refuse to do something just for fear of seeming clumsy or funny. And people will respect them even more for it. When a person is not afraid to show his weaknesses, he does not seem ridiculous. And those around him will laugh not at him, but with him. Because everyone understands that a person cannot be an expert in everything, and that’s normal.
The secret of male charisma. How to become more charming?
“It’s hard to resist the charisma of such a creature. He still had charisma. And she didn’t at all disdain to fill up someone else’s charisma.” Alexey Chernenko
Love yourself
If you want to win the love of others, then love yourself completely. With all the flaws, quirks, qualities and dark sides. Even if you constantly work on your weak points, you should love yourself. Love yourself and accept yourself. Tell yourself in the mirror how good you are every morning. This is where the day of a successful charismatic begins.
Make the most of your appearance
Most people do not try to use their natural gifts to the fullest. This is especially true for men. But others always greeted me based on my clothes and appearance. All charismatic people look like a million dollars. They have everything in order with their wardrobe, appearance and grooming. They look sporty, stylish and attractive. Make the most of your appearance.
Become more confident
Stiffness, awkwardness, shyness are bad qualities. Behave more confidently, boldly, easily and naturally. Stop huddling around, afraid to say or do something. Maintain composure in any situation and atmosphere. Charismatic people are attractive precisely because they are clearly confident in themselves. Unshakable confidence is captivating.
Value yourself
Good professionals in their field, cool businessmen and experienced playboys. How are they all similar? They value themselves and know their worth. They are not the ones who run after jobs, money, contracts and girls, not them. Position yourself as the highest value. Don't underestimate yourself as an expert in your field. Don't run after women on your hind legs. Show your value.
Find your goals
Charismatic people are always passionate about something. They have many plans and goals that they strive for. They have no time to be bored, mope, whine or be lazy. They burn with fire inside. They are ignited by ideas, thoughts and dreams. They are involved in work, passionate about projects, poring over business, pursuing creativity and other dreams.
Look tough like Fort Knox
In any business, everyone prefers those who are reliable as a rock. Who is responsible for their words and actions. If anyone promised, he will fulfill it, even if he breaks himself into a piece of cake. Charismatic people are reliable and always get things done. This is a stone wall or block that inspires confidence.
Be as energetic as possible
Most people are like sleepy and lethargic sloths, while other people are a real bundle of energy. Be at the right time at the right moment. Concentrate and show efficiency where required. Be energetic, cheerful, fresh, productive, proactive, enterprising and active. Maximum energy. It's like you're a compressed spring.
How to work on charisma?
“Charismatics are extraordinary people. They exude the aroma of adventure and risk, very attractive to those for whom life is boring.” Robert Greene
Charisma and charm can be developed. This is a whole set of positive qualities that can be developed in parallel. To achieve success, work extra on the following.
Stop believing in miracles, luck and cronyism. Believe in yourself. Believe in your charisma and strength. What is charisma? This is the main factor that helps you achieve your goal as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Let your charisma act, and not gather dust on the shelf...
Source
Ask the right questions and talk less about themselves
Charming people know how to ask the right questions. They structure the conversation so that the interlocutor talks more about himself. Having learned something about a person, they tell something about themselves. This way the interlocutor will begin to sympathize with them more and will be more willing to carry on the conversation.
In conversations, successful people try to talk less about their achievements. And it's not because they have nothing to say. They just understand that bragging looks ugly. But at the same time, they are happy to answer and talk about themselves if asked. Therefore, it is always a pleasure to communicate with a charming person.
Honesty3
If a young man has masculine charm, he will never show secrecy, cunning or lies. He has his own opinion and will never bend to other people if it does not suit them. He is frank in his statements, while remaining friendly and does not show irritation or negativity.
In Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind there was such a hero - Rhett Butler. He easily expressed his political opinion in a company where everyone else thought differently. At the same time, he remained a man who easily charmed ladies.
Understand the difference between opinion and fact
To appear charming, it is important to avoid sensitive topics in conversation that could turn into arguments between people. Of course, you can and should express your opinion if you are asked about it, but be sure to emphasize that this is just a subjective opinion. Thus, it will not be possible to present your point of view to others as the only correct one.
Charming people are masters of diplomacy. Even when expressing their point of view, they do it as delicately as possible. They understand that each person has their own opinion, which must be respected.
Male charisma. The secret of male charm and charisma
How to become charismatic?
How to pump up charisma? Secrets of Charisma
To achieve success in life, you need to be charming and charismatic. With an attractive, powerful charisma, you will attract success, money, girls and happiness. Strike a smile on the spot, glow from within and have an attractive magnetism.
“A man must be charismatic, serious, thorough, and able to take charge of the market. And in peaceful life you have to be a real warrior. That's the secret." Larisa Golubkina
Charm and charisma will give you many of the opportunities you've been waiting for. An excellent career, financial well-being, reliable friends, good acquaintances, adoration of girls and a bright, rich life.
You don't have to be handsome to be popular in society and especially with the opposite sex. Charm lies in the outgoing energy, look, voice, figure, words, gestures and mood. Charisma helps you achieve your goals in life.
Don't make small talk
When starting to communicate with a person, you don’t need to start small talk. They are, as a rule, meaningless, and therefore do not interest a person endowed with charm. It is important for him to get to know his interlocutor as best as possible, so he will try to build a conversation around topics that interest him.
The interlocutor will feel that the person is interested in him and will begin to feel sympathy. Try to look for interesting topics rather than asking trivial and meaningless questions about the weather, etc. This way, you will show the person that you are interesting and versatile.
Smile a lot
Charming people are always drawn to, admired, and often become role models. Because they radiate goodwill and positivity. They smile often because they know that people tend to “mirror” the emotions of other people. Besides, a smile lifts your mood.
Charming people strive to make their lives and the lives of those around them more interesting, so they often organize festive events and travel a lot. They also like to joke in conversation and tell any story in an interesting way, actively using facial expressions and gestures. They love to learn something new and achieve their goals. Therefore, others admire them.
Books are written and films are made about such people. For example, there is a melodrama “The Day of a Charming Man,” which tells about a hero who is entangled in love. After all, such people are popular, so it is not surprising that many want to be around them. Therefore, it is important for them to be able to understand others.
The most charming people are those who are sincerely interested in their loved ones and friends, respect the opinions of others, and try to make others happy. That is why not only family and friends, but also strangers are always happy to communicate with them and admire them.
Ability to inspire4
Charm in a man is manifested in the ability to support a person and charge him with positivity. Such people always see a positive outcome in any situation. They easily compliment others, earning their affection and inspiring them to new achievements. Therefore, charming men achieve success in business and career more easily.
A guy who wants to develop masculine charm needs to learn to enjoy the successes of other people, see their efforts and be able to emphasize them in conversation. This technique also works in relationships with girls; it’s not for nothing that they say that they love with their ears! It is very important for them to hear compliments in their direction, and justified ones at that.
