Is there life on maternity leave? Psychologist on how to make motherhood joyful | Psychology of life

The happiness of motherhood is not always cloudless. Moms are emotionally and physically tired. And not only from the long process of pregnancy and childbirth, but from piled-up responsibilities and sleepless nights.

They even get tired of their own child. And I no longer want to do anything: neither to do housework, nor to myself, nor to the baby. It seems that there is no strength for anything during the seemingly endless maternity leave.

It is not customary to talk about this. Mom feels guilty - after all, she should be collected and happy. Obliged. Just think, a breakdown. And mom holds on with all her might, carefully hiding her feelings, in fear that others will consider her experiences far-fetched. And ultimately, this leads to emotional burnout for the mother.

Depression while a mother is on maternity leave: what to do and how to cope

Psychotherapist of the highest category Oleg Viktorovich

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Update date: March 2021

Depression during maternity leave is a fairly common phenomenon, to which many people do not attach much importance, thinking that the problem will go away on its own.

However, in some cases, the condition does not improve, and prolonged stress turns out to be dangerous for a woman’s health. Postpartum depression is a phenomenon that is better prevented than treated.

Therefore, you should know the reasons leading to such a deviation. If the problem has already arisen, then its elimination should begin immediately.

Features of the course and dangers of depression

Chronic depressed mood can negatively affect a person’s mental abilities

Each person has a limited internal reserve of strength. If it is exhausted, emotional burnout may occur. Many people have heard about this phenomenon, and its consequences are quite difficult to overestimate. A person develops a depressed mood, suffers from sleep problems, becomes shy, suspicious and indecisive.

This is how the first signs of depression appear - the kind that quite often develops in women on maternity leave. And you shouldn’t think that this condition will somehow go away on its own, because prolonged depression can cause harm by becoming a truly uncontrollable process.

According to the results of numerous studies, depression can cause the development of a number of diseases:

Heart attack. In people prone to depression, the risk of developing a heart attack increases by an order of magnitude. Moreover, a person’s prolonged stay in a depressed state can cause the development of cardiovascular pathologies.
Eating disorder. When under stress, a person usually begins to consume large amounts of sweets. Due to this, there is a risk of developing diabetes mellitus.
Chronic depressed mood can negatively affect a person's mental abilities.
People with depression have a predisposition to obesity.
The functioning of the immune system deteriorates. For this reason, people with depression often suffer from infectious diseases.
Chronic pain develops, the physiological causes of which cannot be determined. In this case, the treatment process is significantly complicated.
A definite connection has been found between depression and the development of cancer.

Causes

The monotony of everyday life can trigger the development of depression during maternity leave.

The cause of postpartum depression is not always a restless and whiny child. Even if the baby is calm and quiet, he still requires attention. And it results in sleepless nights, constant anxiety and chronic stress. Of course, your strength begins to gradually decrease, giving way to severe fatigue.

Often, in the first stages of depression, a woman develops inattention and absent-mindedness. She feels tired, and even after sleep she does not feel the necessary vigor.

The development of postpartum depression occurs due to the following reasons:

Extreme fatigue. It is most pronounced during the first weeks after birth. Many young mothers show increased irritability during this period.
Dissatisfaction with the changed appearance. Many women tend to gain excess weight before giving birth, which results in increased irritability.
The monotony of life. After the birth of the baby, the woman spends all her time near him. At the same time, she has no time left for communication or entertainment. Days become monotonous, and sooner or later this leads to emotional exhaustion.
Bad mother syndrome. It develops mainly in women who give birth for the first time. It usually manifests itself as follows: a young mother has the mistaken opinion that she is not coping with her responsibilities. At the same time, the advice of relatives and friends is perceived by the woman as teaching, which further aggravates the situation.
Lack of opportunities for self-realization. For this reason, postpartum depression occurs in those women who, before pregnancy, were engaged in creativity or had a favorite activity.
Lack of time to rest. Young mothers often cannot find even half an hour of free time for themselves, go shopping, or even simply watch TV. Of course, such restrictions may sooner or later cause a nervous breakdown.
Lack of communication or its significant limitation. The natural need of every person is to communicate with people. However, most young mothers are deprived of this opportunity due to the fact that they have to spend all their free time with the child.

Symptoms

Daytime sleepiness and constant lethargy are a symptomatic picture of depression.

Postpartum depression has very broad symptoms. The development of a pathological condition can be suspected based on the following signs:

severe irritability - young mothers can be enraged by any little things;
lack of joy even in the presence of positive emotions - the person seems to burn out;
increased fatigue – a woman experiences constant fatigue and emotional depression;
drowsiness during the daytime, which gives way to nocturnal sleep disorders;
severe weakness that does not go away even after a long rest;
lack of joy due to severe emotional exhaustion;
decrease in emotional background;
attempts to communicate with your husband or family only heat up the general atmosphere and do not bring any pleasure;
a woman periodically thinks about leaving everything and running away from home;
there is an acute shortage of time - even to perform ordinary duties the woman does not have enough strength;
the appearance of guilt, a feeling of inferiority.

How to get rid of depression

There are a number of ways to effectively get rid of depression. The main thing is to pay attention to such changes in a timely manner. You should not ignore the blues, because it will not lead to anything good. Ultimately, maternal depression can negatively affect the child's mental state.

Therefore, when you feel depression approaching, you need to start fighting this problem. Below are recommendations on how to get rid of depression while on maternity leave.

Rest

A relaxing bath before bed is very helpful in combating depression.

Every person needs proper rest. And you can be sure that without systematic discharge, you will sooner or later break down. It's only a matter of time.

The child really requires a lot of attention, but his mother’s task is to leave some free time for herself. To do this, you can ask your husband to take on some of the responsibilities. For example, in the evenings he could watch the baby for some time while his wife is left to her own devices.

This approach is not only guaranteed to protect a woman from depression, but also maintains a normal microclimate in the family.

During your rest hours you can do the following:

Daytime sleep. After putting your baby to bed, you can also lie down, allowing the body to rest a little.
Sports activities. Many people don’t consider sports a vacation, because a young mother is already tired, so where does she get the strength to do the exercises? However, in reality, such activities can improve not only body tone, but also mood. Regular short workouts are guaranteed to make you feel better. In addition, in this way it will be much easier for a woman to return her figure to normal after childbirth.
Reading. Whether it’s a book, a magazine or an information column on the Internet, it doesn’t matter, the main thing is to take a break from the drab everyday life, experience new emotions and get interesting information.
Communication with family and friends. This can be either a phone call or a personal meeting.
Relaxing bath. It should be taken before bedtime. During evening activities, you need to turn on the water and fill the bathtub. This way it will be ready by the time you are free. To achieve maximum relaxation, it is advisable to add foam and medicinal salts to the water.
Taking walks without children. Scientists have proven that if a young mother gets out of the house for 2 hours a week without her child, then such a walk is guaranteed to improve her mental health. Such actions should not be considered a whim - they are really necessary in order to maintain emotional balance.

Finding your favorite thing

During the postpartum period, it is very important not to forget about your own hobbies and desires. The birth of a child is happiness, not the end of your personal time. In addition, while on maternity leave, you can find many interesting and useful activities for yourself:

Home work. If your line of work allows you to do this, then why not take some of the work home. If not, you can think about a temporary change of activity. In addition to being a distraction from everyday affairs, this will allow you to replenish the family budget.
Hobby. This list may be completely inexhaustible. Today, along with needlework, a woman can run her own blog, edit videos, create presentations, etc. And all this - without leaving home!
Self-development. Today you can increase your level of knowledge not only through books, but also through the Internet, which has greatly expanded the possibilities for learning.

Don't refuse help

If grandparents offer help in caring for a child, you should not refuse it

Many women refuse the help of family and friends due to maintaining the status of personal independence, long-standing grievances, or simple differences in upbringing. However, in some cases you should sacrifice your principles for the good of your family.

If a person sincerely offers help, then one should not refuse it. Moreover, if this is a close relative who wants everything to be in order in your family.

Tips for Husbands

Husbands can make life a lot easier for their wives if they take the initiative in a few things. The following actions will help prevent depression in a woman:

It is advisable to be involved as much as possible in the process of raising a child. Spend as much time as possible with him, play, help your wife with any household issues.
It is necessary to show attention to your wife, take an interest in her health and mood. Perhaps she has been wanting to tell you something for a long time, but does not dare, so as not to feel like a burden.
We should not forget about compliments, women love with their ears.
Pleasant surprises and new impressions allow you to diversify the routine of a young mother.
You should not insist on intimacy, seeing the woman’s emotional and physical fatigue. Such conversations will only worsen the situation. Because of this, a woman may become depressed, and she will move away from you even more.
There is no need to tell a woman that something is not working out for her. It's better to just help her by praising her for her successes.

The birth of a child is happiness, which for many families turns into serious trials. It is very important not to miss the onset of depression by following the tips described above. If the situation is advanced, then the woman will need the help of a specialist who will prescribe her certain medications and give general recommendations for overcoming mental disorders.

The main thing is not to take depression while on maternity leave for granted. This condition is not normal and must be dealt with.

Source: https://mozg.expert/depressiya/vidy/depressiya-v-dekrete/

Professional help

In addition to this, expecting a child actualizes a woman’s own fears about a new social role. Low self-esteem is the basis for anxiety. The desire to become an ideal mother may alternate with a reluctance to give birth to this baby. Sharp mood swings and transitions from one belief to another are a typical picture of depressive disorder in pregnant women.

However, a psychologist reacts to a problem from a professional point of view and can suggest a solution, while each friend relies only on her own experience.

In what cases should you seek help from a psychologist?

if there are suicide attempts and obsessive suicidal thoughts;
if a woman is not ready for the role of a mother and actively resists the course of pregnancy;
if the situation is so unfavorable and the woman’s condition is so unsatisfactory that there is a threat to the life of the fetus;
if a woman feels that she cannot cope with ordinary household affairs on her own, she loses contact with loved ones and plunges into apathy.

According to the law, a woman has the right to refuse a child if she has such a desire. But after a certain period, abortion is not legal. Therefore, if you are completely unwilling to raise a child, you need to contact a psychologist and get support in this matter. Relatives can express their opinion on this matter, but the decision remains with the woman.

Why does depression occur during maternity leave?

Depression while on maternity leave is a fairly common phenomenon. There is no need to think that it appears temporarily. Prolonged stress can be dangerous to a woman's health. Let's look at why depression develops during maternity leave, how it manifests itself and how to avoid it.

Why is depression dangerous?

Each of us has heard about emotional burnout. A person's internal reserve of strength is not unlimited.

A person suffers from a depressed mood, his sleep is disturbed, he is overcome by suspiciousness, shyness, and indecisiveness.

All these are signs of depression, which often develops in women on maternity leave. If left untreated, this condition can become uncontrollable and cause harm.

Research shows that depression can cause many diseases:

First of all, depression increases the risk of having a heart attack. Long-term depressed mood is a path to the development of cardiovascular pathologies.
With depression, eating is disrupted: a person tends to eat large amounts of sweets and foods high in carbohydrates. And this is the cause of the development of diabetes. Research shows that diabetes and depression are related diseases.
People suffering from depression are prone to obesity.
Prolonged depressed mood reduces a person's mental abilities.
Long-term untreated depression is the cause of the development of chronic pain. Moreover, often the physiological causes of such pain cannot be determined during a medical examination. Treatment of chronic pain with depressed mood becomes much more complicated.
People with depression have a weakened immune system. As a result, they suffer from infectious diseases more often than others.
The worst thing is that depression is the cause of cancer.

Don't lose your health

The period of childcare is very stressful for a woman. And you don’t need to think that within 3 years the young mother will take a break from work. Quite the opposite: caring for a child is that very job, and it is very stressful and difficult.

How to get out of depression and how to prevent the development of chronic fatigue?

These tips will help new mothers:

The condition for good health and vigor is sleep during the day. You should try to sleep during the day when you put your baby to bed. This is the best rest for a tired body.
Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath. It will remove negative emotions and set you up for a night's rest. This will make your sleep much stronger. It is recommended to add a little sea salt or natural essential oils to the water.
You definitely need to play sports. Regular and easy exercise will improve your tone and drive away depression. You definitely need to set aside time for outdoor activities: they allow you to feel a physical and emotional boost.
Reading is the best way to occupy yourself during leisure time.
Depression while on maternity leave will disappear if you regularly communicate with those you care about. Spend at least a little time communicating and see how your mood improves.
Some child care responsibilities can be redistributed to a husband or grandmother. A young mother should devote at least an hour a day to rest. You don’t have to look up to other mothers, how they are busy raising and caring for a child all day long, because your health is completely different.
Under no circumstances should you resort to drinking alcohol. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases it only worsens the problem.
You should always set yourself realistic and achievable goals. This way you won't feel like you can't handle anything.
You need to be able to determine for yourself the so-called crisis point, after which you need to quit some things and relax. Otherwise, emotional exhaustion is inevitable.

You need to accept the fact that it is necessary to rest, no matter how busy your daily schedule may be. After all, no one, even the strongest organism, is made of iron. You need to find time for the most common feminine pleasures: going to a nail salon or hairdresser, getting a massage, etc. Even meeting your girlfriends in a cafe can brighten up the endless bustle.

Activities Options

Maternity leave is not only time to care for a child. If a woman uses the time she has rationally, she will be able to use it for self-development, self-improvement and other useful things. Naturally, there will be no room for despondency on such a vacation.

Here are the most suitable ways to keep yourself busy with useful and enjoyable things:

Easy and stress-free remote work. You can perform part of your work responsibilities remotely, that is, from home. It's also a good way to earn some money.
You can also think about a pleasant activity in your free time. This is sewing, knitting, etc. Start your own blog and start filling it out: you had no idea how interesting it is. The only thing that needs to be taken into account for this is the child’s daily routine. It is recommended to adapt specifically to its mode.
Try to increase your intellectual level. Maternity leave is not a hindrance to this. Moreover, the time has come to improve some of your knowledge and learn a foreign language.
Why not take a driving course while on maternity leave? Some women use this. Having mastered the art of manicure, nail extensions, etc., you can also earn some good money.
Even an ordinary trip to the store can be turned into a small celebration. To do this, you just need to take a closer look at the assortment of goods and buy something nice. Even a small purchase can lift your spirits. And by purchasing something to improve your home, you can update it, which also helps fight depression.
Bright clothes can drive away melancholy and improve your mood. It’s even better if your family wears cheerful clothes: this way you can organize a holiday for everyone.
There is no need to be shy about accepting someone's help. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive long-standing grievances and accept life as it is.
Locking yourself in is the worst thing that can happen. Try to discuss pressing issues with friends and family: this will make life brighter and more diverse.

Treatment

In some cases, it is necessary to resort to drug treatment for depression during maternity leave.

It is indicated only in extreme cases when other methods of influence do not help. Self-medication with antidepressants is under no circumstances allowed.

Antidepressants are quite powerful drugs. Most of them are used only under strict supervision, since even a slight excess of the dosage contributes to the occurrence of side effects.

A good and at the same time effective way to get rid of depression is aromatherapy. Essential oils can be used in a bath. Once in the body, they help restore mental balance and elevate mood.

It is best to have a doctor select essential oils: self-treatment with oils can be harmful in some cases. All oils should be used only natural: artificial oil substitutes are of little use.

Essential oils of lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, and orange work best on the body.

So, depression during childcare is completely preventable and treatable. However, it is still better not to bring yourself to such a state.

Source: https://apofreidu.ru/depressiya/depressiya-v-dekrete.html

Taking care of yourself, taking care of your child

Prenatal psychology is a branch of science that studies the intrauterine development of a child and the formation of basic mental structures. Research data suggests that the mother's condition during pregnancy is very important not only for the physical, but also for the mental development of the fetus. High anxiety and suppressed emotional background can literally be transmitted to the child, causing deviations in behavior and mental development in the first months of life.

For your own education, you can read professional literature on prenatal psychology in order to prepare for birth and not make mistakes. On vacation you can find time for this, but after birth you may not have it. Reading literature on your own problem can help you get out of a depressed state, provided that the patient has minor rather than major depression. If pregnancy is desired, a woman should find the courage to seek help from a specialist for the well-being of her baby.

Emotional burnout of a mother on maternity leave: causes, symptoms, what to do (advice from a psychologist)

Symptoms of burnout

Emotional burnout resembles depression and most often occurs among residents of large cities, locked with children within four walls. The monotony of maternity life creates the feeling of an endless marathon with no end in sight.

Irritation appears, nervous breakdowns occur, and all this, it would seem, out of nowhere and without any reason. Caring for a baby does not bring any joy. A feeling of guilt appears - is it possible to get tired of your own child?

Mom wants nothing more than to take a break from the daily whirlwind and run to work. Because I no longer have the strength to sit on boring maternity leave. These are the first “bells” signaling the mother’s emotional burnout. It is characterized by a number of signs:

apathy;
irritability;
nervous breakdowns;
tiredness from your beloved child;
prostration.

Dealing with this problem is not so easy. Everything is decided individually depending on the reasons that provoke emotional burnout.

Gift Ideas for Mother's Day 2020

What is the reason?

Mom’s emotional burnout can be triggered by one or several factors:

1. Difficult pregnancy . Pregnancy and childbirth deplete resources, and if they also occur with complications, then it is no wonder that there is no longer any strength left for full functioning while on maternity leave.

2. Childhood trauma . Everyone has internal anxieties that come from childhood. For example, excessive strictness of parents can cause increased demands on oneself, lack of attention can be a source of fear, and overprotection can cause excessive anxiety. The consequences of childhood experiences manifest themselves in adulthood and often become the cause of emotional burnout.

3. Monotony . The rituals of caring for a baby and taking care of the household turn maternity life into “Groundhog Day”: feeding, changing a diaper, cleaning, walking, feeding, bathing, diaper again - and so on in a circle, again and again.

The initial feeling of novelty and happiness from the arrival of a new family member becomes dull, the days begin to seem gray and monotonous, the colors of life lose their brightness. Where can you get emotions when there is nowhere to get new impressions from?

4. Lack of self-care . Mothers often forget about themselves - this is a fact. It's not that they don't understand how important it is. It’s just that self-care and personal time are not prioritized until ignoring one’s own interests becomes a habit. This is where dissatisfaction with one’s appearance and an unsatisfied need for self-realization arise.

5. Lack of communication . The young mother feels like she is locked in a cage. There is neither time nor opportunity to see friends, attend an interesting event, or meet new people. The circle of communication is limited to the husband, child and relatives. Therefore, many mothers feel as if they are cut off from the world.

6. Financial difficulties . Lack of money is a reason that can ruin anyone's mood. What can we say if financial difficulties affect a family with a small child: loans, mortgages, lack of money for everyday needs.

It is difficult to distract yourself, relax and enjoy motherhood when a woman is pressured by uncertainty about the future. There is a temptation to take urgent action and go to work ahead of time.

7. Multitasking . Cleaning. Cooking. Wash. Feeding. Walks. Motion sickness. Laying down. 24/7 child care. To survive in this cycle, you have to multitask.

There is nothing wrong with multitasking in itself, but constantly being in this mode turns life into an endless race along the same route. And sooner or later, mom discovers that there is still too much to do and her strength is exhausted.

8. Lack of sleep . With the birth of a baby, a series of sleepless nights begins. Sleep is one of the basic human needs. With a lack of sleep, energy levels decrease and the desire to do anything disappears until the body's needs are satisfied.

Therefore, mothers, at best, barely find the strength to clean up and cook dinner. There are no longer enough emotions to pay full attention to the baby. There is only one desire left - to sleep. Therefore, it seems to the mother that she is completely tired of the child. What kind of communication is there?

9. Resource depletion . It's not easy with just one baby. What if the child is not alone? What if the children are the same age? What if there are three or more of them? And they all need to be hugged, played with, and taken care of. In addition, subsequent pregnancies and childbirth rapidly deplete the mother’s resources, and sooner or later there comes a time when there are no longer enough resources to pay attention to everyone.

10. Lack of mutual understanding . It happens that due to various circumstances, a young mother sorely lacks support and attention from her husband.

The reasons are different: conflicts, disagreements, differences in views on raising children, or insufficient understanding by the spouse of the feelings and experiences of the other half. What if a mother raises her baby alone? It is much more difficult to mobilize strength alone, so emotional exhaustion occurs much faster.

11. Lack of support . For some reason, it is believed that serious work involves daily trips to the office and earning money. And maternity leave is just a rest. The fact that after a day spent alone with children and household chores a woman feels as if she has unloaded several barges is not taken into account.

In the eyes of others, caring for a child is pure pleasure. Moms often have to listen to examples of the heroic past of their grandparents, feeling guilty for having diapers and a washing machine.

Relatives vying with each other to tell how in “their time” everything was completely different from what it is now, they criticize modern methods of education and treatment, and instead of supporting them, they criticize every step of the young mother. Such a devaluation of maternal work can extinguish any enthusiasm and give rise to a whole complex of internal conflicts, which leads to burnout.

12. Perfectionism . The child is dressed, washed, fed and taken for a walk, the house is cozy, clean and tidy, there is a hot lunch on the stove, and the mother herself, with a radiant smile, generously bestows the family with round-the-clock and undivided attention.

If any of the points are not fulfilled, that’s it, execution. She's a bad mother. And although the majority understands that perfectionism is extremely harmful to peace of mind, many mothers find it difficult to resist the manic pursuit of the ideal.

13. Pressure . A woman with a baby feels like a participant in a reality show, as if hidden cameras are watching her from all corners. At a party, at a clinic, at a playground, a young mother is under the gun of critical glances.

You have to make a lot of effort to comply with generally accepted standards, and if the baby does not behave as “supposed”, you blush and make excuses. Such pressure slowly but surely sucks out internal energy.

Psychologist about the “tired mom” syndrome

During the online meeting “Mom at Zero - 2.0”, psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya spoke about what knowledge about parental burnout was revealed during the existence of the “Mom at Zero” cycle, how society reacted to this problem and what opportunities they received to look differently at their needs moms and dads.

Any of these reasons can prevent a mother from enjoying life on maternity leave, leading to nervous breakdowns and emotional burnout, which is not so easy to deal with. Proven methods of raising your mood do not always work.

Source: https://mamulchik.ru/article/dekretniy-ad-prichiny-emocionalnogo-vygoraniya-mamy/

Depression on maternity leave symptoms in women

Depression during maternity leave for a young mother is characterized by both a temporarily depressed mood and a long duration, depth and powerlessness to do anything. If you don’t pay attention to your mother and ignore her problems, then a tendency towards chronic continuation of the disease will imperceptibly be noted.

Often in a family, all the attention of relatives is concentrated around the baby, since the birth of a baby is a joyful event and relatives often do not understand why a woman should be treated.

According to statistics, about 20% of women remain in a depressed state for up to a year, the duration of which directly depends on the timely initiation of therapy.

Depression during maternity leave is often not a temporary phenomenon at all. And if the depressive state drags on, it will destroy not only family relationships, but also the woman’s entire subsequent life.

Depression during maternity leave is manifested by the following symptoms:

– increased fatigue. The most severe fatigue is observed for the first six months after the birth of the baby. For this reason, apathy, irritability, and alienation from the husband and child appear;

- dissatisfaction with appearance. A woman's figure undergoes changes after childbirth and needs time to return to its previous shape. Because of this, the woman experiences severe irritability and does not accept herself as changed;

– boredom from the lack of variety, since the young mother is constantly in a confined space;

– bad mom syndrome. Women who have given birth to their first child often feel that they are not coping with their responsibilities, that they are doing everything wrong and that they know nothing.

Advice from a psychologist on how to cope with depression while on maternity leave

A woman should realize that as the baby grows up, it will become easier for her.

To eliminate the problem of being forced to be in a confined space, you need to walk more, do shopping, and visit with your child.

To restore your figure, you should establish a balanced diet and exercise. Regular training will allow you to tone your body in a short time.

Accept any (physical and financial) help from those close to you.

It is very important to find something you love while on maternity leave. You need to think about what you would like to do. If the type of work permits, then you can take on some part-time work.

This will distract you from household chores and provide an opportunity to improve your financial situation.

Of course, you will have to take into account the child’s daily routine, as well as plan hobbies or work without sacrificing attention to the family.

While on maternity leave, you can engage in self-development, raising your level using the Internet and reading literature. Reading books and magazines will allow you to learn something new for yourself, plunging into another, fictional world.

It is important to always remember about rest. When putting the baby to bed at lunchtime, the young mother should also rest.

A relaxing bath with sea salt and foam before bed will also be useful.

Often, a woman, while caring for a child, has no time to pay attention to loved ones or talk on the phone for a long time. It is necessary to find a little time for this, but do it when mom is not busy or irritated.

It is important to include a walk without your child in your weekly schedule, at least for two hours. This will allow the woman’s psyche to rest.

It is important that leisure time spent without a child differs from usual everyday life. If a woman spends the evening at home watching a program, then there is no point in such a vacation. And if you meet with your girlfriends, go to a concert, go to a restaurant with your husband for dinner, bowling, then all this will significantly change your overall mood.

Psychologists recommend spending your free time on a women's forum to avoid depression while on maternity leave. By registering on a website for moms, you can create your own diaries, share experiences, actively participate in chats, discuss other people’s comments, and read useful information on raising a child.

The advantage of communicating on forums is that a woman chooses a topic that interests her.

If you don’t have time to sit at the computer, you can expand your circle of acquaintances by walking with your child on the playground.

You should learn to see the positive in everything that surrounds you. Going to the store, cooking, walking in the park, watching moving vehicles, people, animals, the weather outside the window. All this can distract you from your thoughts and give you many pleasant moments of relaxation, when you don’t think about anything, but just watch.

There is no need to deny yourself purchasing interesting things to decorate your home. They will make the house more unusual.

When buying clothes, you should give preference to bright colors. They can positively affect your mood.

The husband should take an interest in the condition and health of his wife every day. While on maternity leave, women are embarrassed to talk about their new feelings and concerns.

The husband needs to take on some of the household chores. It is important to show concern for your wife so that she feels it. You need to be interested in what she wants, how she would like to spend the weekend, what she needs to feel happy.

It is important to compliment your wife. Do not insist on intimacy, be understanding in this matter, so as not to aggravate depression during maternity leave and not worsen the relationship in general.

You can motivate your spouse with pleasant impressions: gifts and a good time.

There is no need to tell your wife that something is not working out for her, or criticize her, referring to other women who achieve everything and have two or more children.

If the situation with the wife worsens and depression progresses during maternity leave, the wife should help with raising the child, involve relatives or hire a nanny.

Revelations of tired mothers on maternity leave

The appearance of a child in the family is a joy, but if there is no help and support from the groans of loved ones, then being on maternity leave becomes a horror for young mothers. Emotional burnout overtakes women who completely devote their weekdays and holidays to raising children.

Source: https://vospari23.ru/depressiya-v-dekrete-simptomy-u-zhenschin/

What should my husband do?

Take an interest in your wife's health and condition
. Maybe sometimes she's just too shy to tell you what's bothering her, or she just doesn't want to be a burden.
Take some of the household chores on yourself
. She should feel your concern.
Give her compliments
. Remember that women love with their ears.
Don't insist on intimacy
. Since she is now having a hard time mentally, your demands will only worsen the situation. In addition to the fact that she will become even more depressed, your relationship as a whole will gradually begin to collapse.
Try to “stir up” her with pleasant impressions
. It could be gifts or a good time.
Don't tell her that she can't do something
. Just kindly help her.

Involve your husband in raising the child
to the maximum. Talk frankly with your husband, tell him that it is difficult for you to cope with some responsibilities. The conversation should be conducted exclusively in a positive way - without scandals, shouting and reproaches. Apply tricks: say that you want your child to be very similar to him, and joint games and all kinds of communication with the child can contribute to this. But be prudent: if your spouse gets up early in the morning for work, do not ask him to get up all night so that he can calm the child down.
Read books about
child development and education. There is a lot of useful information written there. From them, not only a young mother, but also an adult woman who has successfully raised several children learns something new. They often provide examples of real-life situations. Such techniques make it possible to more easily come to certain conclusions. Moreover, after reading this literature, many mothers will understand that the child’s nervousness and whims are not a consequence of their inept handling of the baby, but features of age-related changes.
Enter a reward system
. Set goals for yourself throughout the day. As soon as you successfully complete them, do yourself a favor: buy goodies, things, set aside more time for doing what you love, etc.
Don't isolate yourself
. Communicate more. Preferably not only with girlfriends. Discuss various issues: raising a child, relationships with your husband (in general terms, without details), your own feelings, etc. In response, you will hear a lot of advice, examples of what to do and what not to do.
Find a nanny
. If your relatives do not have the opportunity to help you raise your child, a person offering his services for money will help you get distracted. A nanny can be found either full-time or just on weekends. If the first option gives access to work, the second – for your own leisure.
Do not exaggerate
. After all, many women have gone through childbirth. And some - more than once. Think about the fact that you were able to give life to a new person. And this cannot cause depression while on maternity leave.

Video: Life after childbirth: how not to go crazy

The joy of having a baby in the family is difficult to hide. Many mothers manage to hide from themselves and from others the melancholy into which they often fall much better.

Moreover, this happens despite the fact that every woman agrees: children are the flowers of life, giving positive emotions. Therefore, it is worth understanding why an inexplicable feeling of melancholy arises and depression during maternity leave becomes a frequent companion of many mothers.

The fact is that not everyone manages to endure a routine existence for several years and at the same time remain a positive, good-natured, sweet and cheerful person.

All information on the site is for informational purposes only and is NOT a guide to action!
can give you an ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS !
We kindly ask you NOT to self-medicate, but to make an appointment with a specialist
!
Health to you and your loved ones!

What should my husband do?

Take an interest in your wife's health and condition
. Maybe sometimes she's just too shy to tell you what's bothering her, or she just doesn't want to be a burden.
Take some of the household chores on yourself
. She should feel your concern.
Give her compliments
. Remember that women love with their ears.
Don't insist on intimacy
. Since she is now having a hard time mentally, your demands will only worsen the situation. In addition to the fact that she will become even more depressed, your relationship as a whole will gradually begin to collapse.
Try to “stir up” her with pleasant impressions
. It could be gifts or a good time.
Don't tell her that she can't do something
. Just kindly help her.

Involve your husband in raising the child
to the maximum. Talk frankly with your husband, tell him that it is difficult for you to cope with some responsibilities. The conversation should be conducted exclusively in a positive way - without scandals, shouting and reproaches. Apply tricks: say that you want your child to be very similar to him, and joint games and all kinds of communication with the child can contribute to this. But be prudent: if your spouse gets up early in the morning for work, do not ask him to get up all night so that he can calm the child down.
Read books about
child development and education. There is a lot of useful information written there. From them, not only a young mother, but also an adult woman who has successfully raised several children learns something new. They often provide examples of real-life situations. Such techniques make it possible to more easily come to certain conclusions. Moreover, after reading this literature, many mothers will understand that the child’s nervousness and whims are not a consequence of their inept handling of the baby, but features of age-related changes.
Enter a reward system
. Set goals for yourself throughout the day. As soon as you successfully complete them, do yourself a favor: buy goodies, things, set aside more time for doing what you love, etc.
Don't isolate yourself
. Communicate more. Preferably not only with girlfriends. Discuss various issues: raising a child, relationships with your husband (in general terms, without details), your own feelings, etc. In response, you will hear a lot of advice, examples of what to do and what not to do.
Find a nanny
. If your relatives do not have the opportunity to help you raise your child, a person offering his services for money will help you get distracted. A nanny can be found either full-time or just on weekends. If the first option gives access to work, the second – for your own leisure.
Do not exaggerate
. After all, many women have gone through childbirth. And some - more than once. Think about the fact that you were able to give life to a new person. And this cannot cause depression while on maternity leave.