“I have apathy” - how often can you hear this phrase from those around us. Everyone has moments in life when they don’t want to do anything, there’s no need for communication, and nothing around them makes them happy. There is only one desire - to lie down, curl up in a ball, so that no one touches or bothers you.
Before asking the question of how to get rid of apathy, you need to know what it is, its types, symptoms, causes. Someone will smile, but in vain. Apathy is a disorder of a person’s mental health; it does not just arise out of nowhere. If this condition does not last long, then there is nothing to worry about. It is much worse if the illness becomes protracted and, which is very dangerous, gradually develops into a severe form of depression. And in this case, only a qualified specialist can advise you on how to deal with apathy. You shouldn’t risk your health and wait – the consequences can be unpredictable!
What is emotional burnout?
The concept of “emotional burnout syndrome” was introduced by the American psychiatrist Herbert Freudenberger in 1974. It describes the state of demoralization, frustration and extreme fatigue that Freudenberger observed among mental health workers.
Emotional burnout is a state of increasing emotional, motivational, and physical exhaustion, which is accompanied by a feeling of emptiness and helplessness, a cynical attitude towards work and other people. This is a defensive psychological reaction in which the manifestation of emotions to those influences that can hurt or traumatize a person is “turned off.” This is how the body protects itself from excessive overload and forces us to dose and save energy resources.
Who experiences emotional burnout?
The main risk group for emotional burnout is people whose work involves great responsibility, strong emotional involvement in the process, and constant contact with people. These are doctors, police officers, firefighters, teachers, psychologists, journalists, and service workers.
At the same time, a person of any occupation can potentially “burn out” if he cares about his business and gives his best for the sake of the result. Psychotherapist Veronika Pivkina says that burnout in any area is facilitated by:
- Delayed result of efforts - a person cannot evaluate his contribution and effectiveness;
- Routine work - a person has to perform the same actions over and over again;
- Lack of feedback in evaluating work: both praise and adequate criticism, assistance in analyzing and eliminating errors;
- Heavy workload and lack of normal rest, especially in areas that require quickly making decisions and studying large volumes of material;
- Lack of proper remuneration for work, proportional to the effort put in by a person: not only material, but also moral.
There is no research on which gender is more prone to burnout: this is an individual reaction. However, discrimination can be an additional factor in burnout: women often encounter it when building a career in almost any field, and especially when getting into leadership positions. In addition to obvious discrimination, there are also limiting stereotypes: there are many of them, and they affect both men and women.
Thus, in the minds of many, it is still customary to divide spheres into male and female: “not a man’s job” to work as a stylist or teacher, “not a woman’s thing” to work as an engineer or programmer. People begin to make great efforts to prove to someone that they are in the right place and doing a good job. And even if a person understands that this is nonsense, these stereotypes can still put pressure on him and contribute to burnout, Veronika Pivkina is sure.
Why does this happen
Depression, depression, melancholy and despondency always have prerequisites. Sometimes this can be a whole range of reasons, from internal and psychological, to lack of sleep, sun, and vitamins.
Autumn depression, as a rule, is scientifically based: a decrease in daylight hours leads to a decrease in the level of vitamin D in the body, which affects the production of serotonin and a number of other neurotransmitters. The latter create a feeling of vigor, happiness, pleasure, and provide activity. Nutritional supplements will help fill their deficiency. Pharmaceutical companies have produced a number of medications that can be taken several times a day, without interrupting your main activities, while maintaining the required amount of vitamins and normalizing biochemical processes.
Health problems and hormonal imbalances, changes and other life processes can lead to a change in mood. This is often observed during menopause, pregnancy, and thyroid problems.
But the main reason is still overwork and exhaustion of the body. Constant work, busy schedule, great responsibility, troubles, disputes and stress, busyness, problems accumulate and sooner or later even a positive person begins to mope. But such depressions are easier to treat - you just need to change the environment by taking a vacation.
Another reason is lack of physical activity. Endorphin, the hormone of joy, will cease to be produced in the required quantity with a sedentary lifestyle. Just a couple of hours in the gym or at the stadium will help restore not only your psycho-emotional, but also your physical condition.
How can you tell if you have emotional burnout?
Symptoms of emotional burnout are divided into 3 groups:
- Emotional exhaustion: fatigue, feeling of emptiness, indifference to what is happening;
- Depersonalization: cynicism, detachment, difficulty in imaginative thinking, inadequate emotional response towards colleagues, clients, patients;
- Reduction of professional achievements: a feeling of incompetence and helplessness, dissatisfaction with work, doubts about one’s contribution to work and achievements.
If you observe such symptoms, you can test yourself using the Boyko test and the Maslach-Jackson questionnaire (MBI).
What are the dangers of emotional burnout?
Due to emotional burnout, people cease to understand why they do the work, and most importantly, why they do it well. This is a problem not only for the “burnt out” person, but also for those people who interact with him: we are faced with cynical doctors, psychologists incapable of empathy, aloof teachers. We don't get the help we asked for because they are no longer able to provide it.
For those who are “burned out,” the quality of life is greatly reduced: they feel incompetent, doubt or deny achievements, feel tired and believe that they are unable to influence anything.
“Against the background of emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue begins to accumulate, and all this can lead to psychosomatic diseases. There may be pain in the neck or back, head, stomach, stabbing in the side or under the heart - in general, any pain is possible in a wide variety of manifestations. People go to hospitals, undergo all sorts of tests, but they don’t find a reason - it doesn’t exist at the physical level. Psychosomatic manifestations are more characteristic of people with idealistic expectations: a person simply waits for something to happen that will save him,” says Veronika Pivkina.
She also noted that among her clients there were no ones who complained specifically about emotional burnout. This situation may persist throughout the country, because people usually come to a specialist in critical situations when they cannot do anything themselves. When it doesn’t really matter whether the problems really started with burnout, and it’s more important to figure out what the person is doing wrong and how it can be corrected.
What to do if you are depressed and don’t want anything?
It may well turn out that you are a victim of your negative attitudes, or suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome.
You lie on the couch and stare mindlessly at the ceiling. If you had a charge indicator, it would be red. I have a lot to do, but no energy. What to do? Definitely not lying around like a vegetable.
Let's figure it out
If you have really advanced depression, this is something that should be treated by a doctor. If you lose interest in life, even to the point of suicidal thoughts, put your feet up and run to a specialist.
I will tell you about a state when it seems that you are mentally and physically exhausted, a gloomy mood sets in, and even those things from which you recently got a thrill are not pleasing.
There are moods that can be hidden behind the semblance of depressive states, but it is much easier to cope with them, even with a real diagnosis.
1. Negative attitudes
350 million people suffer from depression. This is WHO data, not my personal data.
But here are my personal observations: many “depressed” women are actually just victims of their own negative life attitudes. They subconsciously give themselves the command to “lie down and be sad.”
If you think:
- “Don’t touch me, I don’t want anything”
- “I'm never lucky”
- “What to achieve if I don’t know what I need”
- “Happiness is not about me”
- “Everything is not like people”
...then know that you yourself allowed this state into yourself. Sorry, a little harsh, but that's how it is. Many women can be given a diploma in “Negative Programming” - they are so talented at creating problems for themselves.
2. Emotional burnout
This is what happens when you do the same thing day after day. It’s like eating borscht from the day before yesterday for a month, but it still doesn’t end in the pan. And for some reason you have to eat it.
As a result, you crawl under a blanket with a box of chocolates, chips and some other nonsense in the best traditions of Bridget Jones - and let the whole world stop. Mood minus zero.
There is only one recipe - we urgently need a shake-up and powerful motivation. Do you remember the phrase: “To get what you never had, do what you have never done”?
Try!
3. Chronic fatigue syndrome
He, too, may be hiding behind a depressive state. If you have been “not at work” for more than six months, this is the main sign. And here it’s not even about the emotional side of the issue. You physically feel a complete lack of strength.
By the way, it is very easy to bring a woman to such a state (as in point 2): lack of healthy sleep, disordered eating, stress at work, lack of personal life.
One month of such games and the first results are guaranteed. Now count how long you live in this mode?
As a result, the more tasks, the more one gives up.
This is the case when you just need to stop yourself and remember: paying for new organs is harder than paying for a mortgage.
Imagine that you have drunk a strong cocktail of mental and physical stress. It gave its results - overwork, loss of energy and decreased immunity. You need vitamins, gastrointestinal control and global rest. Not the worst recipe, I agree.
4. Crisis of the meaning of life and purpose
More often it manifests itself not in a direct search for global meaning, but in the feeling of “I’m out of place,” “What am I doing?” It seems that you are running in a wheel, in place, and do not see goals and global achievements.
If you are not satisfied with life, you are not satisfying yourself first of all. Write in the comments how often you mope about the meaning of life. If you are depressed and don’t want anything, dig deep into yourself. See what you find.
Your body is a litmus test for your thoughts. The level of “acidity” in the body will depend on the level of “acidity” of thoughts. If you feel bad “in your head,” then you will feel it physically too.
Accumulated fatigue will manifest itself in ailments, behavior, gestures, a smile (which, by the way, has been gone for a long time). And everyone around will read it. And men who are promising for relationships too.
With your sad state, you have already begun to attract certain people. Have you taken the position of a victim? Be prepared for everyone to take advantage of this.
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I do not advise you to binge on food and antidepressants (especially without a prescription from a doctor), drink alcohol, and even less so to hush up your condition. If you feel bad, you need to decide.
There is no magic pill - you have to move. Because no one will do it for you.
You need to restore your strength, but you can’t go on vacation - allow yourself to relax within the confines of your home for a week.
The Italians call it “dolce far niente” - the sweetness of doing nothing. Take time off, take a vacation at your own expense - do whatever you want, just stop yourself for a couple of days.
BUT! Don't lie on the couch.
Start with something simple: today put yourself to bed at ten in the evening, wake up in the morning when you feel that you have had enough sleep. Prepare a delicious breakfast, eat calmly, and don’t run.
Take a walk to the park, to the embankment - wherever you prefer. Take a good movie or book with you. Spend a few hours outdoors. Go shopping. Take time for yourself.
Don’t forget to have a full and normal lunch and dinner on time. Live in this gentle mode for three to four days. If you have the opportunity to go out of town, go.
If after two or three days of good sleep and nutrition, you have the strength to do fitness or yoga - go ahead. Just without overexertion - enjoy it.
Mental self-respect is also born from physical self-respect.
If a poor man is nearby, he can add fuel to the fire with phrases like: “How long can you whine? Stay calm and carry on". This makes many women either become even more depressed or keep everything inside themselves.
It doesn't lead to anything good. If someone prevents you from feeling your worth, turn the poor man out the door and take charge of yourself!
How to resolve the situation?
Let's imagine that I, like Kashpirovsky, am charging this article for success :) For your “doing”. So, what to do if you are depressed and don’t want anything:
Squeeze out the positive. No juicer needed, just highlight the positive moments at the end of each day, even in negative situations.
Exaggerated example: “I tripped and fell. I tore my jeans, but my knee is intact.” “He didn't call back. Great! I avoided another incomprehensible relationship” (question: why didn’t he call back, but that’s a topic for another day).
To make it more convenient, write it down. You will see how easy it is to create positive thinking even out of nothing.
By the way, the same can be done with goals. You set small goals and achieve them. You praise yourself: morally and financially, once a month, for example. If you get the result, buy yourself a beautiful incentive dress, for example.
Small goals give rise to big ones, which you already approach with the feeling of a winner.
Cultivate proactivity. This is the main quality of successful people. It means taking responsibility for everything that happens in life.
Look: the path to personal success depends on your ability to achieve goals, despite the circumstances. If you want to lie on the couch, lie there and blame it all on depression, bad weather, low salary. Or change everything yourself!
There is no need to focus on things that you CANNOT influence. Focus your energy on what you CAN change. And your condition is just like that.
Boost your self-esteem. One of the basic needs. If you are not confident in your abilities, are stuck in one place and want to live a more vibrant life, sign up for personal growth training.
The experience of thousands of women who have faced the same problem as you will help you. You can not only overcome monotony, but also build a harmonious relationship with a man.
If you want to change something in life, act right now. Otherwise it will be like in the joke:
- Doctor, my depression is over. - Will you renew it?
I believe in you.
With love, Yaroslav Samoilov
How to deal with emotional burnout?
When fighting burnout on your own, you should be prepared that it will take time. This is more difficult than working with a specialist: it is difficult to objectively assess yourself, your condition, in order to understand exactly where your thoughts and emotions are, and where are the imposed attitudes. It is difficult to move yourself from a negative point, to pull yourself out of a state of indifference, because there may not be enough internal resources for this.
In independent struggle, the psychologist recommends acting in this way:
- Reduce loads. If you have a lot to do at work or at home, then think about who to share them with. You will need time and resources to fight.
- Reduce the level of responsibility. You can ask your loved ones to look after your children and help your colleagues at work. It is important that the responsibility for what is happening does not lie solely with you, especially if it is the responsibility for other people.
- Focus on yourself. Learn to relax: Read about relaxation techniques and find one that suits you. The main thing is to wait until fatigue and indifference subsides.
- Figure out what is important in life and what is not. Analyze what depresses and causes a feeling of meaninglessness and uselessness of work, what emotions you have isolated yourself from, why certain situations occurred.
- Think about how you can influence the situation. First of all, you need to cover basic physical needs, the need for safety. Everything here is individual: someone will need to decide how to increase income, someone will need to change companies, accumulate a financial cushion, and someone will realize that they want to work in a different field.
A psychologist will help you figure it out faster and relieve the person of some of the burden of responsibility, because this way you will work as a team.
Bad mood or depression
It is important to know the difference between these two conditions in order to understand not only the causes, but also treatments. Reluctance to live, apathy, chronic insomnia, fatigue are clear signs of depression. Bad mood is transient and changes over a period of one or two days. If the sadness lasts for weeks or months, it’s definitely depression.
The negative attitude will go away on its own, but the elimination of a depressive state must be approached with all seriousness, as if it were a disease of the nervous system and a mental disorder. You should seek help from a specialist: a psychologist or psychoanalyst. He will not only bring you out of apathy, but also find out the reason for the appearance of negativity. I will help you understand yourself, find the cause of your bad mood and restore your vigor and self-confidence. Sign up for my individual consultation.
I do not recommend taking antidepressants on your own. Tablets only remove the symptoms of the disease, but do not fight its causes. This means that stopping them may trigger a return of depression.
A separate group includes apathy and loss of interest in life, manifested during festive events: birthdays or New Years. This is most likely due to age-related crises, overestimation of life and doubts about the correctness of decisions. If these thoughts do not go away within a few days, consult a specialist.
Who should I contact for help?
Veronica Pivkina explained what you should consider when choosing who to contact:
- Find a specialist who is right for you. Usually, after 1-2 consultations, you can evaluate whether the recommendations help you, whether you like the approach to work, whether there is an effect, whether trust has emerged. If a specialist is not suitable for you and you do not like it, then effective therapy will not work - it is better to look for another one.
- Assess the specialist's qualifications. Ask about education, advanced training, and techniques used by the specialist. Don’t be afraid to ask even what seems indecent, vulgar, or inconvenient to you: a normal specialist will not leave any questions unattended.
It is important to remember that no specialist can solve your problem unilaterally. A person will still have to understand himself, work through the problem and change what does not suit him. Each of us manages our own lives, and everyone can change something in it.
Talk to loved ones
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Many of us silence anxiety, and over time this condition begins to stifle us mentally. If it is not possible to go to a paid specialist and you understand that you cannot cope with the problem on your own, look for a psychologist on free resources. Most graduates and aspiring workers sit on all kinds of forums and provide free consultations for professional practice and experience.
If you don't want to look, talk to someone around you. It doesn’t matter with whom: with mom, brother, friend, colleague. The main thing is that you trust the person and understand that the interlocutor is ready to listen and help. Forget about embarrassment and leave unnecessary thoughts; You are not a burden and do not hang your problems on others. Don’t bring yourself to a state where the world is seen in black and white: call, write, make appointments, be in society so that your condition is not aggravated by negative consequences.
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