Life crises in psychology and their stages - how to overcome them

• What is a crisis?
• What can cause a crisis?
• Types of crisis conditions
• The reaction of the human psyche to a stressful situation
• Goals and objectives of crisis psychology

The science of crisis psychology (psychology of crisis states) owes its emergence to the enormous number of disasters that arise in our reality. These are epidemics, terrorist attacks, man-made disasters, military operations, accidents and other difficult situations. A person, one way or another, is involved in all these incidents as an initiator, victim or witness, and the psychology of crisis situations teaches him to cope with dangerous emotional consequences. Let's talk in more detail about this direction, its goals and objectives.

What is a crisis?

Crisis psychology studies personal and social crises arising from external or internal shocks.

A crisis is a violation of a stable mental balance; it occurs when the usual ways out of this state do not help, and a person is forced to look for a new way to cope with the situation or adapt to it. A crisis is a consequence of a strong emotional shock; it changes thoughts and behavior, which can either worsen a person’s psychological indicators or, on the contrary, allow him to reach a higher level of development.

In simple words, a crisis state is a period in which the old foundations of life are destroyed, and new ones have not yet been found. That is why it is very important to provide qualified assistance to a person experiencing a crisis.

How to overcome a psychological crisis?

Regardless of your experience, age and life circumstances, you have probably encountered such a thing as a personal and psychological crisis.

This is a difficult period, which is accompanied by negative emotions, a feeling of powerlessness, a feeling that nothing can change, and sometimes also a feeling of worthlessness if self-esteem is not in order.

What to do about it? And what does crisis even mean? Is this a normal stage of development or a sign that a person is living incorrectly? Or maybe these are fictitious problems and you just need to complain less and get down to business?

And how do you understand that it’s a crisis that’s happening to you, that it’s not just stress, stagnation or sabotage?

What is a psychological crisis?

A crisis

- encountering a turning point, a turning point in life. This is a situation when in life what used to work, now for some reason has stopped.

For example, a man and a woman lived together for ten years, and then the woman realized that she wanted to get married, the man was not ready, she did not back down, they began to quarrel and make claims against each other. This is a relationship crisis.

Or a person worked as an engineer and seemed to be happy with everything, but then he began to think about his childhood dream of becoming an artist, performed his duties worse and worse, and after six months he was fired. This is a crisis of self-realization.

A crisis may have external or internal causes. Maybe circumstances have changed, or maybe too much has accumulated that we ignored: suppressed negative emotions, desires, hidden problems. As a rule, external and internal reasons act together.

In the example about relationships, the woman herself could be worried about the status of her relationship, but, say, she watched a psychologist’s program (“If he doesn’t get married, something is wrong!”) or talked to her mother (“When is the wedding already?!”) and the problem came out.

Crisis is often associated with a moment of realization. Previously it was good (normal, tolerable), but now a person understands that it is no longer possible to live like this.

What kind of crises are there?

I described the crisis of relationships and the crisis of self-realization. There are also crises of autonomy, age, end of life, health, meaning in life and many others.

The most famous age-related crises are birth, the crisis of three years, seven years, adolescence, growing up, middle age. In relationship psychology they talk about the crisis of seven years.

In connection with the death of loved ones, divorce or separation, a person may also experience a psychological crisis - a crisis of loss. Quitting a job, moving to another country or city, or illness can also cause a crisis reaction.

Why are crises needed? Crisis as a way to solve problems

A crisis is always accompanied by negative emotions. Actually, from them we understand that it happened to us. Therefore, when a person says “I’m having a crisis,” he usually means that something is wrong with him. In fact, something has been wrong for a long time, and the crisis means that everything has come out. And that's not a bad thing. On the contrary, this is an opportunity to acknowledge and then correct the situation. So a person can win as a result of a crisis.

ignored problems in their relationship year after year , hushed up complaints and hid grievances. The fact that the man did not marry is far from the only one. It is quite possible that he also had something to show his girlfriend, but for some reason he did not voice it. And so much has accumulated that the couple begins to quarrel, separates, or, in the best case, goes to a family psychologist , where there is a chance to hear each other.
The failed artist had already been fired, and he hadn’t even started painting. Five years were spent on technical education, three on work, he has a mortgage and children, it’s too late to enter an art university, but the longing for his vocation remains. And it’s not clear whether to follow your dream or rush to look for a job, because there are obligations and habits, and besides, it seems stupid to learn to draw at the age of thirty.

A crisis is usually felt by a person not just as a negative period, but as a hopeless dead end, a personal end of the world. It's painful, but sometimes necessary. Otherwise, a person may wake up in retirement, discovering that he spent his whole life in a job he didn’t like, or with a partner who couldn’t be trusted, that he didn’t really know how to do anything, and that he never listened to his desires. And through a crisis there is a chance to change something.

Why are crises needed?

Thanks to a crisis, a person can not only solve problems that he did not realize and ignored, but also achieve his goals.

A crisis forces a person to open his eyes and take a closer look at his life. Many, in order to get out of problems, are forced to carry out a kind of inventory - “what I have, what I can, what I want.” Very often, in doing so, they discover ways and possibilities that they had not seen before. In times of crisis, we are more open to change than usual. And without this, goals cannot be achieved.

As a result, the crisis becomes a powerful tool for growth. And if you use it, if you use your awareness, then you can not only return and improve what you have lost, but reach a new level in every sense: personal, material, spiritual.

For many people, a crisis is the only way to change their lives. Because while everything is fine, there is no motivation to change, even if theoretically I would like... A crisis is a step on the way to your dream. Serious positive changes in life usually occur after and as a result of a crisis.

However, the opposite is also true: a crisis can become the beginning of breakdown, degradation, and a deterioration in the standard of living if a person fails to live it correctly.

Therefore, it would be good to take the crisis seriously, do not ignore it and do not try to continue to act in the old way - it will not work, you will only lose even more time and effort.

Is it possible to avoid a crisis?

If crisis is a mechanism for development, is it possible to avoid it by working through your problems in advance? If you lead a conscious life and constantly grow on yourself, then maybe crises don’t need to happen? Theoretically, yes. But according to my observations, there are no people who develop without crises. Even the most conscious among us remain human, and therefore do not want to change voluntarily, they get stuck in pride, and fall into the traps of sabotage. This is fine.

At the same time, by working with your problem areas regularly, and not just in times of urgent need, you can mitigate your crises. Then they will not turn into the end of the world and a difficult test for you and your loved ones every time.

It would be nice to constantly devote time to yourself, your relationships, your calling, your loved ones. Every year, or ideally twice a year, review your goals and values. Work systematically with a coach or psychologist who will help you identify and work on problem areas.

How is the crisis going?

A crisis can be divided into stages. They are a little similar to the stages of grief and sometimes run parallel.

• The cause of the crisis: old schemes stop working, negativity accumulates, a negative event occurs.
• The beginning of the crisis: awareness that something is not working, attempts to “return the way it was”, solve the problem with familiar means, denial of the problem
• The crisis itself: rejection, negativity, sadness, stress. The person may fall into a victim state or depression.
• The beginning of recovery from the crisis: a person realizes the problem and the need to solve it
• Dealing with a crisis: developing a new life strategy, finding a solution
• Way out of the crisis: mastering new models, adapting to the new, changing the situation or accepting what is (if we are talking about an irreparable loss), draws conclusions.

If the crisis is not overcome, adaptation to a decreased standard of living, depression, chronic condition of the victim, and so on.

In our example with a couple who could not get married for ten years, it looks something like this.

The reasons for the crisis: the couple’s accumulated claims against each other and, partly, environmental pressure.

The beginning of the crisis: conversation and quarrel - the woman demands that the man marry and tries to push him through. The man is trying to calm her down and get what he needs - for example, attention and respect, to continue living together without obligations.

Crisis: both partners do not give in and blame each other, quarrel and feel sad. The man understands that the woman will not calm down, as she did in the previous twenty conversations. The woman sees that the man is still not ready to take decisive steps on her terms.

The beginning of a way out of the crisis: the realization by one or both partners that something will have to change, or the relationship will collapse.

Dealing with a crisis. A man and a woman are trying to understand and hear each other. They can work independently or seek help from training or a psychologist. The main thing is that they find ways: they learn to talk, spend more time together. Or vice versa, less if everyone needs space.

Way out of the crisis. Most likely, this will be a breakup or a new level of relationship and a wedding.

Instead of exiting the crisis, there may be a refusal to exit (in my opinion, the worst option): both partners come to terms with the fact that their needs in this relationship are not being met, but resign themselves to the situation out of fear of change. Mutual claims are not resolved and continue to be hushed up.

Just for fun, try to break down the situation with an engineer who wanted to become an artist into stages of crisis. Or your own, which is much more useful.

How to overcome crises?

• Acknowledge the crisis and your emotions about it
• Recognize the need for change
• Seek help from loved ones, psychologists, books
• Give yourself time to rest and cope with stress
• Give yourself time to find a new solution
• Treat the crisis as a new opportunity, an area of ​​growth, an opportunity to achieve goals.

Vadim Kurkin

What can cause a crisis?

Crisis states arise for various circumstances and reasons. These may be social and situational factors, individual and psychological characteristics of the individual.

Children, adolescents and the elderly are predisposed to a crisis; these age phases are characterized by biological vulnerability and any difficult situation in life during this period can disrupt a person’s emotional state.

The risk group will also include somatic patients, people with diagnosed physical exhaustion or those with psychological trauma.

The causes of stress disorder can be:

• violence and cruelty;
• participation in hostilities;
• terror;
• crime;
• disaster;
• death or illness of loved ones;
• loss of work and/or social status (livelihood);
• significant decline in living standards;
• social conflict (in the family or at work).

Reasons for appearance

Midlife crisis in men - what is it, when does it begin?

The cause of crises lies in the emergence of contradictions between new needs that are no longer satisfied and current or past conditions. Each period of age-related development has an incentive for future change and development - this is the basis for the formation of the individual.

Note! In each period of crisis, differences between limited capabilities, new needs and social experience (the reaction of loved ones) increase. Today, according to psychologists, this dissonance is considered as a driving force in the development of the psyche.

Types of crisis conditions

Depending on the severity of the experienced event and the nature of the stress, we can say that there are three levels of the crisis state:

1. routine - as a rule, a person copes with such an attack on his own;
2. acute – requires immediate psychotherapeutic assistance;
3. significant (personal) – characterized by the loss of basic life guidelines and values.

A state of personal crisis may be caused by internal aspects of life

(natural personality development, age, inadequate self-esteem, etc.) or
external events
(work activity, change in social status or marital status, extreme situations associated with a threat to life and/or health).

In more detail, the types of crisis that people most often encounter are the following:

• age crisis - occurs in the process of personality maturation and its transition from one age stage to another and is associated with corresponding psychological changes;
• loss crisis - a picture of acute grief that occurs when losing a loved one and is perceived as a partial loss of oneself;
• existential crisis - as a consequence of the loss of the meaning of life, the most important values, tasks and goals; getting out of this state involves revising your system of psychological beliefs and stabilizing your idea of ​​your personality and the world around you;
• neurotic crisis - can develop regardless of external events, but at the same time create an illusory subjective feeling of hopelessness of the situation and worldview;
• traumatic crisis - as a response to a traumatic event, the strength of the experience will depend on the individual assessment and significance of the event for a particular person.

History is a crisis in a person's life.

One of my acquaintances, let’s call him Andrey, worked for a quite decent company. He earned good money, every vacation he went with his family abroad to the sea. I took out a good mortgage on an apartment in a prestigious area and made luxurious renovations. In general, everything was fine. But he wanted more, he was tired of being a clerk, albeit a well-paid one. Then he decided to compete for the position of chief.

A place just opened up. For this purpose, a competition was organized. But our comrade was not confident of his victory. Since the competitor was more experienced, they say he had connections, he worked longer. In general, he had every chance of getting the position. Therefore, Andrei decided to do anything to win the competition. He made his choice - he bet everything on it. Work, family, reputation.

VIDEO TIPS: Why does a woman dream of seeing a lot of mushrooms - interpretation according to an ancient dream book

Overall, he did a bad thing. Eliminated a competitor. No, not physically of course. But he acted meanly. It seemed like he had everything figured out. And now the time has come to sum up. The board of directors and candidates met. Andrey was confident of his victory. He was already looking forward to how he would take office, how quickly he would pay off his mortgage, how happy his family would be. But then something unexpected happened.

It turns out that he was treated like a boy. The competitor, smiling contentedly, stated the essence of the matter. And he was thrown out of the office with a “wolf ticket.” It was a disaster. It was a shame. Now he has a real crisis. There is no job, no money, there is a mortgage, there is nothing to live on. Life is over... But Andrey is great. He managed to get out of the crisis in his life. Find yourself, restore your conscience and life. But that's a completely different story. What would you do in his place at a critical moment of fate?

God does not give you problems that you cannot overcome.

And I’m sure you can also find a way out of any crisis. If you read my recommendations.

The reaction of the human psyche to a stressful situation

You need to understand that negative sensations and experiences during periods of stress are natural reactions of the human body. They must manifest themselves so that a person can subsequently avoid health complications.

It is normal if a person is stressed:

• is in an excited state, experiences chaos in thoughts and may demonstrate atypical behavior;
• panics, is afraid, feels an irresistible desire to run away;
• aggressive, furious, tense;
• anxious, restless;
• cries;
• experiences envy, jealousy;
• feels uncontrollable nervous trembling (tremor).

The level of stress does not depend on the cause. A broken leg or a sudden betrayal of a spouse will give the same reaction from the body, but the intensity of these reactions will be related to how significant the event is for a particular individual.

If stressful manifestations last for a long time, then a feeling of indifference comes, a person may feel a lack of strength, lose interest in what happened and, as a result, fall into apathy.

18-20 years old

Life passes under the motto: “It’s time to sail independently.” This is the time of study and military service. A teenager (and then a young man) strives to distance himself from the family and demonstrate his independence. At the age of 20, when a person has moved away from his family (even if purely psychologically), another question arises: “How to stay in the adult world?” A person understands that he cannot do everything in this world, that his knowledge and strength are not yet enough to cope with all the problems...

What to do?

Do not refuse family support, especially if parents are able to provide it and do it with joy. And learn the philosophy of gradual progress towards the goal. To do this, it is useful to hang a piece of paper above your desk with the phrase: “A person overestimates what he can do in a year, and underestimates what he can do in ten years” and think about this phrase more often.