10 psychological tricks for manipulating people

There are situations when a person feels insecure in communicating with others, or he lacks the knowledge and skills of how to convey his will to his interlocutor. In such cases, effective methods of psychological influence on the interlocutor help. This article describes in detail how to influence people using psychology and what not to do.

Psychological influence helps to assert oneself in society

Psychological tricks

10. Ask for favors

© Dean Drobot

Trick: Ask someone to do a favor for you (known as the Benjamin Franklin effect).

Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win the favor of a man who didn't like him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book, and when he received it, he thanked him very kindly.

As a result, the man who didn't really want to even talk to Franklin became friends with him. In the words of Franklin: “He who has once done you a good deed will be more disposed to do something good for you again than one to whom you yourself are indebted.”

Scientists decided to test this theory, and eventually found that those people whom the researcher asked for a personal favor were much more favorable towards the specialist compared to other groups of people.

Mental impact - types and features

Mental influence is classified according to certain criteria.

1. Nature of impact.

• Simple - a specific plan of action is implemented during one session, for example, a conversation or interrogation.
• Complex - such an impact consists of several simple actions; it is a means to achieve a specific goal.

1. Focus.

• Individual - used to work with one person.
• Social - used to work with a group of people.

1. Technical equipment.

• Subjective action using words and psychological techniques.
• Instrumental action with the help of certain objects, for example, physical evidence.

In addition, the psychological impact differs in form:

1. open - the appeal is aimed directly at a person’s consciousness;
2. closed or unobvious - in this case, techniques are used that influence the sphere of the subconscious;
3. combined - involves the use of open and closed exposure methods.

Also, it is necessary to distinguish between legitimate (allowed by law) and unlawful (prohibited by law - violence, blackmail) mental influence. It is this problem that is recognized by experts as key in relation to psychological influence.

Good to know! Despite the fact that the Criminal Code does not contain a definition of “psychological influence,” the current legislation determines the degree of influence allowed during operational search and investigative activities.

Influence on human behavior

9. Aim Higher

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The trick: always ask for more than you initially need, and then lower the bar.
This technique is sometimes called the “door-in-the-face approach.” You are approaching a person with a really too high request, which he will most likely refuse.

After that you come back with a request for a “lower rank”

namely, what you really need from this person.

This trick may seem counterintuitive to you, but the idea is that the person will feel bad after rejecting you. However, he will explain this to himself as the unreasonableness of the request.

Therefore, the next time you approach him with your real need, he will feel obligated to help you.

Scientists, after testing this principle in practice, came to the conclusion that it actually works, because a person who is first approached with a very “big” request, and then returns to him and asks for a small one, feels that he can help you he should.

Available methods of mind manipulation for beginners

To use psychological techniques to influence a person, it is not necessary to become a professional psychologist. In everyday communication, anyone can use the following methods:

1. Suggestion. An authoritative person can use this method. By choosing the right phrases and constructing his speech, he inspires people with the necessary information. This method will only work if the manipulator is able to speak confidently. Slurred speech is subconsciously rejected by the listener and perceived as unreliable.
2. Infection. A way of transmitting emotional mood to other people based on a chain reaction. In a dangerous situation, a person prone to panic infects other people with it. A provocateur in a crowd specifically increases the aggressiveness of people, increasing the overall level of aggression. Positive emotions can also be transmitted: if someone in a group starts laughing, his laughter will be picked up by others.
3. Imitation. An effective method if the targets are children or poorly educated people. The need for a role model pushes them to copy the behavior and way of thinking of an authority figure.
4. Belief. This technique is suitable for persuading a person with a high level of education. The manipulator must withstand a high level of discussion, present truthful arguments, allowing the interlocutor to come to the necessary conclusions himself.

Manipulative influence is possible only if the level of intelligence of the manipulator is higher than that of the interlocutors. Otherwise, a smarter interlocutor can intercept the conversation and control the manipulator itself.

The influence of a name on a person

8. Say names

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Trick: Use the person's name or title depending on the situation.
Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that mentioning a person's name frequently in conversation is incredibly important.

He emphasizes that a person’s name in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him.

Carnegie says that a name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, we once again receive confirmation of our importance.

This is why we feel more positive towards a person who confirms our importance in the world.

However, using a title or other form of address in a speech can also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become that person. This is somewhat like a prophecy.

To use this technique to influence other people, you can address them as you would like them to be. As a result, they will begin to think of themselves in this way.

It’s very simple, if you want to get closer to a certain person, then call him “friend” or “comrade” more often. Or, when referring to someone you would like to work for, you can call him “boss.” But keep in mind that sometimes this can backfire on you.

Impact goals

Fear of people and society - what is this phobia called and what is it

Regardless of which group of people needs to be influenced, the goals of influence belong to one of the groups:

• indoctrination to other people to satisfy one's own benefit;
• assertion of authority among others;
• modeling standards of behavior and concepts;
• internalizing a sense of significance;
• self-realization.

Most often, the practice of manipulating other people is due to selfish views. When a person sees that his interlocutor is emotionally inferior to him, a desire arises to subjugate him to his will, albeit unconsciously. Some want to be listened to, others want some actions to be performed for them, others try to establish themselves with the opposite sex (especially among girls). Someone may use emotional influence with good intentions, but more often the reason lies in selfishness. In any case, the manipulator’s hidden motive in sum involves asserting his own importance in the eyes of people.

These goals are divided into intentional and unintentional. The first include those when the manipulator tries to assert himself, force someone to perform some actions for him, or pursues a selfish goal. A person can have an unintended influence simply by being in the room. Others begin to copy his behavior, succumb to his beliefs, and suddenly lean toward his point of view. Such an ability can manifest itself spontaneously without any malicious intent.

Most manipulators pursue their own interests

The influence of words on a person

7. Flatter

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The trick: flattery can get you where you need to go.
This may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important caveats. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattery is not sincere, then it will most likely do more harm than good.

However, scientists who have studied flattery and people's reactions to it have discovered several very important things.

Simply put, people always try to maintain cognitive balance by trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way.

Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and the flattery is sincere,

He will like you more because the flattery will match what he thinks about himself.

However, if you flatter someone whose self-esteem is suffering, there may be negative consequences. It is likely that he will treat you worse because it does not intersect with how he perceives himself.

Of course, this does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Ways to influence people

6. Mirror other people's behavior

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The trick: Be a mirror image of the other person's behavior.
Mirroring behavior is also known as mimicry, and it is something that certain types of people have in their nature.

People with this skill are called chameleons because they try to blend in with their environment by copying others' behavior, mannerisms, and even speech. However, this skill can be used quite deliberately and is a great way to get liked.

Researchers studied mimicry and found that those who were copied had very favorable attitudes towards the person who copied them.

Experts also came to another, more interesting conclusion. They found that people who had role models had much more favorable attitudes toward people in general, even those who weren't involved in the study.

It is likely that the reason for this reaction lies in the following. Having someone who mirrors your behavior validates your worth. People feel more confident in themselves, thus they are happier and have good attitude towards other people.

Psychology of influencing people

5. Take advantage of fatigue

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Trick: ask for a favor when you see that the person is tired.
When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to any information, be it a simple statement about something or a request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it is not only on the physical level, his mental energy reserves are also depleted.

When you make a request to a tired person, most likely you will not get a definite answer right away, but will hear: “I will do it tomorrow,” because he will not want to make any decisions at the moment.

The next day, most likely, the person will actually comply with your request, because on a subconscious level, most people try to keep their word, so we make sure that what we say matches what we do.

Psychological influence on a person

4. Offer something that a person cannot refuse

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The trick: start the conversation with something that the other person can’t refuse, and you will achieve what you need.
This is the flip side of the door-in-the-face approach. Instead of starting the conversation with a request, you start with something small. As soon as a person agrees to help you in small ways, or simply agrees to something, you can use the “heavy artillery.”

Experts have tested this theory using marketing approaches. They started by asking people to show their support for protecting the rainforests and the environment, which is a very simple request.

Once support has been received, scientists have found that it is now much easier to persuade people to buy products that promote this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately move on to another.

Psychologists have found that it is much more effective to take a break of 1-2 days.

How to control your interlocutor during a conversation

During a conversation, you should alternate psychological techniques so as not to arouse suspicion among people. To cause location, you need:

• address the interlocutor by name;
• smile slightly, but make sure that it does not look like a mockery;
• when meeting, say hello first, looking into the eyes of your interlocutor;
• start communication with an unobtrusive compliment;
• repeat facial expressions and gestures of partners.

During communication, it is important to monitor the reactions of your interlocutors. You cannot turn a conversation into an interrogation or an endless monologue, from which people will quickly get tired. To understand how a person relates to the manipulator and other interlocutors, you need to pay attention to his posture. If he sits freely, with his body turned towards his interlocutors, without crossing his legs, he feels comfortable and will be easily influenced. If the toes of the shoes are pointed inward or to the side, the person wants to end the conversation. He needs to be helped to feel free, to be allowed to speak out.

During an argument, you should not raise your voice. The louder a person speaks, the less people listen to him. The interlocutor will try not to convince, but to shout down the other. You need to allow him to speak loudly and emotionally, without trying to stop or respond to accusations. When a person speaks out, he will feel devastated and guilty. In such a situation, it is easier to manage it and bring it to the necessary conclusions. When talking to a liar, you cannot put pressure on him, forcing him to confess. You need to speak slowly, pausing. The interlocutor will try to fill the pauses himself and let it slip against his will.

To obtain consent, a proposal must begin with an affirmation. Speak insinuatingly, but do not fuss. You cannot start a sentence with an apology - this immediately puts the person in the position of a subordinate. When using arguments, you should start with the strongest, supplementing it with average degrees of conviction. You also need to end with a compelling argument. You can force your interlocutor to agree unwittingly using the “three yeses” technique. You need to ask two questions to which a person is guaranteed to answer with consent, and then ask the main one. By inertia, the interlocutor, without hesitation, agrees.

Techniques for influencing people

3. Stay calm

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The trick: Don't correct someone when they're wrong.
In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that one should not tell people that they are wrong. This, as a rule, will lead to nothing, and you will simply fall out of favor with this person.

There is actually a way to show disagreement while still having a polite conversation, without telling anyone that they are wrong, but by striking the other person's ego to the core.

The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is quite simple: instead of arguing, listen to what the person is saying and then try to understand how they feel and why.

You should then explain to the person the points you share with them and use that as a starting point to clarify your position. This will make him more sympathetic to you and he will be more likely to listen to what you have to say without losing face.

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The essence of psychological influence By definition, psychological influence is the influence on a person’s state, his actions, thoughts and feelings exclusively by psychological means, with the provision of the right and time to respond to the influence. True, with some types of influence (for example, during manipulation and attack), they try not to provide the right and time to respond to the influence. At its core, psychological influence is “penetration” into someone else’s psyche. The goal and, at the same time, the result of this “penetration” are: change, restructuring of views, relationships, motives, attitudes, human states, etc. The influence process involves two parties, the initiator and the addressee. The initiator of influence is the one who initially seeks to influence the other party (the addressee). The initiator and recipient can be represented by both individuals and groups. For example, in pop hypnosis, the audience in the audience is the recipient, and the hypnotist is the initiator. There may also be a situation where several initiators influence one person at once. Usually, the initiator has significant advantages, since he initiates the impact and initially the initiative is on his side. He has the opportunity to prepare for contact, which creates an even greater advantage in the possibilities of influence. Types of psychological influence Psychological influence is not only manipulation or suggestion. It also includes: persuasion, self-promotion, request, coercion, ignoring, attack, infection, imitation, gaining sympathy, control, rumors and NLP.

• Persuasion (argumentation) is a logically reasoned influence on people’s consciousness. The purpose of persuasion is to create, strengthen or change the views, opinions, attitudes, and assessments of the recipient of the influence so that he accepts a different point of view and follows it in his activities and behavior.

How does the persuasion process work? Every day we receive a lot of information that convinces us of something. No matter how convincing the facts offered are, we do not believe absolutely everything. The fact is that in order to make sure you need to go through several stages and at the same time the proposed information must coincide with our settings. The stages are as follows: presenting information, paying attention, understanding, accepting the proposed conclusion, consolidating the attitude, translating the attitude into behavior. First, the persuader presents information and tries to attract attention to it. The main thing here is our attitudes and the “dosage” of information. Since attention is selective, we are more attracted to information that matches our attitudes. Conversely, we can easily reject what contradicts life principles. Attention can only focus on a limited amount of information. If there is too much of it, the consciousness will simply reject most of the information. To persuade, it is necessary not only to understand the proposed message, but also to accept the conclusion that follows from it. Therefore, information conveyed clearly and clearly argued will be more persuasive than a long message with many unclear terms conveyed in a noisy environment. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Brevity is the sister of talent”, “Everything ingenious is simple.” Information that is easy to understand is well absorbed. Understanding does not always lead to acceptance. If a person listens to long-known and understood arguments several times, this will not change his attitude. The information presented must be new and not previously announced. In addition, any information evokes certain feelings and memories. Therefore, when a message evokes positive feelings and thoughts (such as dreams of wealth), we agree with it. Different people have different knowledge and view the world differently. It is easier to convince if you speak to a person in a language he understands (for example, in a conversation with an accountant, use the terms “balance”, “amounts”, etc.) and about what worries him. Among other things, we tend to believe recognized authorities, attractive people, and what the majority agrees with. Resistance to persuasion Sometimes we don’t believe something at first, but after listening to the arguments, we accept someone else’s point of view. And this does not mean at all that we have adopted the correct point of view. They just convinced us. To increase resistance to persuasion, you need to: a) be committed to existing beliefs; b) strive for knowledge; c) learn to challenge other people’s arguments; d) be prepared for attacks on our lifestyle and attitudes. Commitment to one's own beliefs and a willingness to state one's position greatly increases one's resistance to persuasion. Thus, a person will challenge arguments that contradict his attitudes, especially when they affect his personal values. It is very difficult to convince a person if his attitudes are based on knowledge about the subject or problem being discussed. The more knowledge there is, the stronger and clearer the installation. When you have knowledge, it is easier to put forward counterarguments. Without a knowledge base, the recipient becomes very vulnerable to persuasive attacks. In any society there are opinions that are shared by all its members and therefore cannot be questioned. They are simply assumed to be true and not given much thought. Such opinions are called cultural truisms (for example, “you should brush your teeth after eating”). These opinions are easy to refute, usually because people have weak defenses. The attitude is so weak that it is impossible to effectively challenge a persuasive message. To increase resistance and ability to defend cultural truisms, it is necessary to provide people with information and arguments that support these truisms. For example, you might say, “Research shows that if you brush your teeth regularly, you are less likely to get cavities.” Now that people hear arguments against brushing their teeth regularly, they will be less likely to change their attitudes. The ability to challenge other people's arguments can be “instilled.” To do this, any opinion is subjected to weak criticism so that a person defends his point of view on his own. If he fails, you can suggest counterarguments and invite him to think about his own arguments to repel criticism. Having dealt with a weak attack, he will be able to defend his position even under strong influence. Persuasion is stronger when it is unexpected. If a person has had time to prepare, think about it, draw up counterarguments and is motivated, he will successfully defend his position. Following the perception of information, its understanding and acceptance, there is a decrease in the critical attitude towards the proposed arguments and conclusions. In other words, we become convinced that we are beginning to understand. People with high educational levels exhibit more intense resistance to persuasion. A critical attitude to a message may arise if it has many details, contains logical errors and arguments that contradict group norms.

• Self-promotion - self-promotion. It is realized by demonstrating competence, high status and power, associating oneself with highly significant individuals.

• Suggestion is an influence on the psyche that involves uncritical perception of information. It represents verbal constructions composed in a certain way.

Suggestion and its types Suggestion is the introduction of any ideas, feelings, emotions without the possibility of critical evaluation and logical processing, i.e. bypassing consciousness. With suggestion, all transmitted ideas are perceived and executed “blindly”. Suggestion is used to block a person’s unwanted behavior or thinking, to persuade a person to do a desired action or behavior, and to spread useful information and rumors. Suggestions gain strength through repetition. A person can reject an offer made once, but if he listens to the same one for a while, he will accept it. In addition, the suggestion may not produce a noticeable effect immediately, but may appear after a certain time. When the conscious mind is interested and distracted, the subconscious mind is left unprotected and absorbs everything that is told to it. The main tool of suggestion is the word, and the gaze also has the effect of suggestion. Suggestion (from Latin suggestio – suggestion) leads to the appearance, in addition to will and consciousness, of a certain state, feeling, attitude; to commit an act that does not coincide with the norms, guidelines and principles of human activity. A suggestor, a source of suggestion or a suggestive subject can be an individual, a group, or the media. The suggester, the object of suggestion, can be an individual, a group, or a social stratum. Types of suggestion: Direct - influence with words. a) commands and orders. They are authoritarian and directive in nature. These are sharp, short phrases, accompanied by appropriate facial expressions, gestures, and intonation. Usually phrases are repeated several times. b) instructions that influence emotions, attitudes and motives of behavior. These are soft soothing phrases, they are repeated several times in a calm tone.

Indirect - hidden, disguised suggestion. An intermediate effect or stimulus is used to enhance the effect, for example, a pill that has no medicinal properties (“placebo effect”). Indirect suggestion is learned unconsciously, involuntarily, imperceptibly. Suggestion can occur either intentionally or unintentionally. Suggestion is intentional when the suggestor tries to achieve a specific goal, knows what and to whom he wants to suggest, and makes efforts to achieve his goals. Suggestion is unintentional when the suggestor does not set a goal to suggest something to the suggestor and does not make any effort. Such suggestion is possible if the suggerend is predisposed to what is being suggested. Those. The suggestion “You won’t succeed!” will only work if it is expressed at a time when something has not worked out for the suggester. The content of the suggestion can be positive or negative. Positive instills positive psychological properties, qualities, states (self-confidence, faith in recovery). Negative instills negative psychological properties, qualities, states (laziness, lack of self-confidence, dishonesty).

• A request is an appeal calling for the satisfaction of some needs, needs, desires. To ask is to persuade someone to fulfill their desires.

• Coercion is an influence for the purpose of a person performing any action against his will.

• Ignoring is deliberate inattention, neglect. It is used as a means of influence and as a means of protection from dangerous influences.

• Aggression (attack) is behavior that causes harm, physical damage to any person or causes psychological discomfort (negative experiences, a state of tension).

Aggression (attack) Aggression (from the Latin aggressio - attack) is destructive behavior that contradicts the rules of coexistence of people in society. Aggressive behavior involves causing physical harm or creating psychological discomfort (fear, tension, etc.). Violence has long accompanied human relationships. Sometimes with its help order is maintained in organizations and the state. In the history of mankind there are many examples of struggle for power using violence (force). Every day on TV screens we see cruelty, robberies, murders. Violence is an integral part of sports: it exists in boxing, wrestling, football, etc. However, violence is not limited to humans. This is one of the principles of nature: either you eat or you are eaten. Violence is a natural human tendency, an integral part of being human. There is physical violence (bodily violence, bullying others, causing pain) and psychological. You can torture a person psychologically as well as physically. Of course, the question arises: why do people - intelligent beings - behave so irrationally? The fact is that people's social behavior is determined not only by reason and cultural customs, but also by instincts. Aggression is a genuine instinct aimed at preserving the species. It is spontaneous and is not a simple reaction to external conditions. Therefore, it is not enough to simply exclude the factors that cause it, and thus avoid its manifestation. The development of aggressive behavior The development of aggressive behavior is a very complex process in which many factors operate. Aggressive behavior arises under the influence of the example shown by family members, friends and other people around, as well as the media. By observing the aggression of others, children themselves learn to show aggression. It does not matter whether others show aggression towards someone outside or towards the child himself. Observing other people's aggression is the main way to learn aggressive behavior. When encountering violence at home and towards oneself, observing the aggressive behavior of other children, the child also begins to behave aggressively. Children who are too aggressive, as a rule, are rejected by others, and therefore find friends among similarly aggressive peers. This contributes to even greater negative consequences, since in an aggressive company, children’s aggression intensifies. The development of aggressive behavior is influenced by the style of family education (authoritarian, overprotective, etc.), the degree of closeness between parents and child, and the characteristics of the relationship between brothers and sisters. Thus, children whose parents are cold and aloof are more prone to aggression. Parents who punish their children too much or do not control their children at all can also provoke aggressiveness and disobedience in the child. Punishment can be effective and will have a positive impact only if used correctly. The media plays an important role in the development of aggression. Today, even children's cartoons contain many scenes of violence, sometimes in a rather veiled form. Cinema, cartoons, computer games, books - everything is riddled with vivid examples of aggression. The development of aggressive behavior is not a momentary process, it occurs gradually. Having learned to show aggression at an early age, as an adult a person will also be aggressive, so it is important to prevent negative behavior in time.

• Contagion is the transfer of an emotional state from one subject to another. Occurs unconsciously or with a deliberate purpose.

• Inducement to imitation (similarity) is the use of a person’s desire to imitate someone. Imitation is conscious or unconscious following of an example, standard, model, behavior. Manifests itself in the acceptance, borrowing or reproduction of behavioral or psychological characteristics of other people.

• Formation of favor (winning sympathy, location) - establishing friendly relations, sympathy, trust.

• Manipulation is hidden control for selfish purposes.

How to avoid manipulation? People who are insecure, shy and overly trusting often become victims of manipulators and swindlers. However, people who want to appear strong, noble or generous can also fall for the trick. To protect yourself from manipulation, you can use Passive protection against manipulation and Active protection against manipulation. To avoid manipulation you need to follow a few simple rules. Don't be afraid to say no. A person who is embarrassed to say the word “no” is the easiest prey for a manipulator. You need to understand that everyone has the right to refuse, everyone has the right to say “no”. “No” must be said decisively. Keep your distance. Manipulators easily obtain information about “victims” that is useful to them, not thanks to their skills, but thanks to people’s excessive gullibility and disdain.

Be unpredictable. Unpredictability in communication with a manipulator guarantees a person’s invulnerability. When the manipulator cannot “calculate” the victim, he cannot influence him. It is impossible to win if the rules of the game are constantly changing. However, if the manipulator is a close person, then you should not overdo it.

Don't brag. Bragging is the best way to make others jealous, and for a manipulator it is a clear demonstration of the weaknesses of a potential victim - an indication of the target of influence. Those who know about this are deliberately modest. Don't show your weaknesses. Taking advantage of your interlocutor's weaknesses is the basis of any manipulation. Who wants to look greedy, indecisive, stupid, cowardly? Nobody. On the contrary, everyone wants to appear worthy, approved, noble, significant, superior in some way, have a good image, etc. Desires and aspirations can become targets. Therefore, it is worth remembering that all scams use:

• greed;
• desire to get rich quickly;
• curiosity, in particular, the desire to know one’s future, destiny;
• thirst for thrills;
• the desire to impress, to show off;
• indecision.

Compliance with these rules is a good prevention against manipulation, but you should not exaggerate and see a manipulator in everyone you meet. Active protection against manipulation When it is impossible to avoid communicating with the manipulator, and there is an opportunity not to be afraid of conflict, you can resort to active protection: declassify and launch a counterattack. The main thing is attitude. Don't be shy to say whatever you think. If the manipulator is not your boss or you do not depend on him in any other way, you can confidently repay him in the same coin - as if to mirror his actions. To do this, you can use the following techniques.

1. Dot the i's. Tell the manipulator everything that you don’t like and force him to explain: “What exactly do you need?”, “Where are you going with this?”, “And then what?”, “Tell me straight - ...”. The most important thing is to declassify his thoughts.
2. Retaliation (countermanipulation) . Pretend that you don’t understand that they are trying to manipulate you and start your game. Your goal is to respond to the manipulator with his own techniques, to show your psychological superiority.

For example, an unfamiliar interlocutor in a conversation uses diminutive forms of addressing you: “Kitty”, “Darling”, “Igorechek”. In this way, he tries to establish psychological superiority, making the so-called “extension from above.” In this case, you need to start addressing your interlocutor in a similar way until he understands that he cannot “pressure”. In general, neutralization techniques look like this:

• Openly discuss not using tricks.
• Declassify the tricks, i.e. reveal their essence.
• Remind again about the inadmissibility of using tricks.
• Use the trick-to-trick technique.

When protecting yourself from manipulation, it is worth remembering that the most important weapon is peace. You shouldn't attack first. The aggressor simply needs to be made clear that he will not achieve his goals.

Passive protection against manipulation Passive protection is the most harmless way to protect against manipulation . It can be used when you don’t know what to do, what to do, how to respond to a manipulator, or when you don’t want to spoil your relationship with him or just get involved. The following methods will help with this:

• Do not react to the words of the manipulator, remain silent, pretending that you did not hear or notice.
• Pretend to be a “fool”, pretend that you don’t understand what you’re talking about.
• Change the conversation to another topic.
• When “agreeing” with the manipulator’s proposal, be sure to stipulate that the final decision or execution depends on you - this makes it possible to “play back” if you wish.
• Repeat the manipulator’s request, but in the form of a question, thereby encouraging him to continue speaking. If action manipulation is used, then simply repeat this action (this will shift the danger that threatens you to the manipulating one).
• Show self-control, maintain restraint. The following ways will help you do this:

Looking. Negative information has an impact through hearing. Therefore, in an acute situation, you should concentrate your attention not on what and how your interlocutors say, but on what you can see in their appearance and in the surrounding environment.

Let the one who gets on your nerves continue to say whatever he wants. You carefully examine and remember the details of the situation and the face of your interlocutor, as if you were going to paint a picture later. Sudden silence will weaken the pressure of the manipulator. Visualization. The human imagination can create miracles.

• Imagine that the manipulator has something that pleases you (elf ears, butterfly wings have grown, or he has grown hair and looks like a kitten).
• mentally reduce the height of the person who gets on your nerves - let him be a midget, a gnome or a cockroach;
• try to imagine this person in a comical form (for example, in “family” shorts and a hat with earflaps);
• imagine a scene of imaginary revenge against your offender and mentally enjoy “revenge”.

Keep calm . Bustling around, running around the room, you get even more nervous. Better sit down and concentrate. Breathe as deeply as possible. Drink cold water. Take your time to answer. Take a break. This allows you to calm down and, with better concentration, choose the best answer. You can train yourself to answer only after you mentally count to ten. This, by the way, will speak of you as a respectable person who knows the value of his word. Physical state . It is very important to take care of your appearance. It would never occur to anyone to use a stressful situation to manipulate you if you demonstrate a straight back, even breathing and a firm gaze directed between the interlocutor’s eyes. If you still cannot resolve the situation peacefully, use active protection against manipulation.

Types of influence also include people management, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and rumors.

• Rumors are a specific type of information that arises spontaneously and becomes available to a wide audience. It may be deliberately distributed with the aim of influencing the public consciousness of people. Rumors are a very powerful tool of influence, therefore they are widely used in politics and marketing.

• NLP is a set of techniques and models. Gives the initiator of influence greater power over the addressee. It is manipulative if the initiator achieves a win only for himself, and the addressee is a loser. If the initiator's goal is noble in relation to the addressee, this is positive hidden control. For example, when NLP is used in psychotherapy.

• Management - presupposes the presence of appropriate status, certain powers, and power. To manage means to lead, to direct the activities of someone. For example, a manager manages subordinates; parents, educators, teachers guide children.

The influence of people on each other

2. Repeat the words of your interlocutor

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The trick: paraphrase what the person says and repeat what they said.
This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. This way you show your interlocutor that you really understand him, capture his feelings and your empathy is sincere.

That is, by paraphrasing the words of your interlocutor, you will achieve his favor very easily. This phenomenon is known as reflective listening.

Research has shown that when doctors use this technique, people open up more to them and their “collaboration” is more fruitful.

It's easy to use when chatting with friends too. If you listen to what they say and then paraphrase what they said, forming a question for confirmation, they will feel very comfortable with you.

You will have a stronger friendship and they will listen more actively to what you have to say because you have managed to show that you care about them.

Belief:

Conviction appeals to logic, the human mind, and presupposes a fairly high level of development of logical thinking. It is sometimes impossible to logically influence people who are underdeveloped. The content and form of persuasion must correspond to the level of development of the individual and his thinking.

The process of persuasion begins with the perception and evaluation of the source of information:

1) the listener compares the information received with the information he has, and as a result, an idea is created of how the source presents the information and where he gets it from. If it seems to a person that the source is not truthful, hides facts, makes mistakes, then trust in him drops sharply ;

2) a general idea of ​​the authority of the persuader is created, but if the source makes logical errors, no official status or authority will help him;

3) the attitudes of the source and the listener are compared: if the distance between them is very large, then persuasion may be ineffective. In this case, the best persuasion strategy is: first, the persuader communicates elements of similarity with the views of the persuaded, as a result, a better understanding is established and a prerequisite for persuasion is created.

Another strategy can be applied when at first they report a large difference between attitudes, but then the persuader must confidently and convincingly defeat alien views (which is not easy - remember that there are levels of selection and selection of information). Thus, persuasion is a method of influence based on logical techniques, which are mixed with social and psychological pressures of various kinds (the influence of the authority of the source of information, group influence). Persuasion is more effective when a group is persuaded rather than an individual.

Conviction is based on logical methods of evidence, with the help of which the truth of a thought is justified through other thoughts. Any proof consists of three parts: thesis, arguments and demonstrations.

A thesis is a thought whose truth needs to be proven; the thesis must be clear, precise, unambiguously defined and supported by facts.

An argument is a thought whose truth has already been proven and therefore can be given to justify the truth or falsity of a thesis.

Demonstration is logical reasoning, a set of logical rules used in proof. According to the method of conducting evidence, there are direct and indirect, inductive and deductive.

Manipulation techniques in the process of persuasion:

– substitution of the thesis during the proof;

– the use of arguments to prove a thesis that do not prove it or are partially true under certain conditions, but are considered as true under any circumstances; or the use of deliberately false arguments;

- refutation of other people's arguments is considered as proof of the falsity of someone else's thesis and the correctness of one's own statement - the antithesis, although logically this is incorrect: the fallacy of the argument does not mean the fallacy of the thesis.