Have you ever tried to find two absolutely identical people? Even if there are those who can answer this question in the affirmative, the likelihood that their search will be successful is very small, because there cannot be two identical people, just like two identical fingerprints or two identical irises. This is, perhaps, one of the reasons why conflicts arise between people from time to time.
And in order to be able to effectively resolve conflict situations, a person simply needs to know how to behave when they arise, i.e. be able to choose a manner of behavior that is most suitable for the characteristics of each specific situation. But many people always behave the same way during conflict interactions, having absolutely no idea that they can change the strategy of their behavior. It is about strategies for behavior in conflict that we will talk about today.
And you can learn how to find approaches to different people and establish connections in our online program “The Best Communication Techniques.”
But first, it is worth saying that one of the most prominent conflict experts, Kenneth Thomas, divided all types of behavior in conflict situations into two main areas - the desire of the subject of the conflict to defend his personal interests and the desire of the subject of the conflict to take into account the interests of other people. It is on the basis of these criteria that we can identify the main strategies of people’s behavior in conflict. There are five of them in total:
- Rivalry
- Device
- Evasion
- Compromise
- Cooperation
We will, of course, consider them all. But while these five strategies are exhaustive for most jobs like this, we'll look at two more effective strategies. Namely:
- Suppression
- Negotiation
So, let’s not, as they say, use “airtime” unnecessarily, and let’s get down to the main topic of today’s article.
Rivalry
Rivalry is a type of behavior when a subject strives to satisfy his own interests, causing damage to the interests of the opposing subject. Following the presented strategy, a person is confident that only one participant can gain the upper hand in a conflict, and victory for one will always mean defeat for the other. A person who prefers competition will “push his line” in every way available to him. They will not take into account the opposite position.
Basic human actions with the “Competition” strategy
- Tight control over your opponent's actions
- Constant and deliberate pressure on an opponent by any means
- The use of deception and tricks to create an advantage in one’s favor
- Provoking your opponent to make mistakes and ill-considered steps
- Reluctance to engage in constructive dialogue due to overconfidence
Pros and cons of the “Rivalry” strategy
Rigidly defending one's position can, of course, help the subject gain the upper hand in the event of a conflict. But such a strategy cannot be applied if the subsequent interaction of people involves long-term relationships, for example, joint work, friendship, love. After all, relationships can develop and generally have the right to exist only if the desires and interests of all people are taken into account, and the defeat of one will mean defeat for everyone. Therefore, if the person with whom you have a conflict is dear to you or the relationship with him is important to you for some reason, it is better not to use the strategy of competition to resolve the conflict.
2
Device
Adaptation as a way of behavior in a conflict is characterized by the fact that the subject is ready to put his needs, desires and interests into the background and make concessions to the opponent in order to prevent confrontation. This strategy is often chosen by people with low self-esteem, insecure and who believe that their position and opinion should not be taken into account.
Basic human actions with the “Adaptation” strategy
- Constant agreement with the opponent’s demands to please him
- Active demonstration of a passive position
- No claim to victory and resistance
- Flattery, pandering to the opponent
Pros and cons of the Accommodation strategy
In the event that the subject of the conflict is not particularly important, and the main thing is to maintain constructive interaction, allowing the person to gain the upper hand, thereby asserting himself, can be the most effective way to resolve the conflict. However, if the cause of the conflict is something significant, something that affects the feelings of all people involved in the conflict, then such a strategy will not bring the desired result. In this case, the result will be only negative emotions of the one who made concessions, and all trust, mutual understanding and respect between the participants may completely disappear.
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Behavior in a conflict situation
Our behavior in personal relationships also varies depending on who we are in contact with: for example, the model of behavior in the family circle and in the work team will be different. The question arises, how many roles can one person simultaneously perform?
Not everyone is capable of engaging in self-observation and analyzing their actions, the feelings they experience, and predicting the reactions of those around them. However, there are those who constantly think about the consequences and predict possible reactions. And so the second type more often chooses a model of behavior that it considers more acceptable to others, that is, it adapts to them.
Photo: Pexels.com
Avoidance
The essence of this strategy is that a person tries to do everything possible to postpone conflict and important decisions until later. With this strategy, a person not only does not defend his own interests, but also does not pay attention to the interests of his opponent.
Basic human actions with the “Avoidance” strategy
- Refusal to interact with an opponent
- Demonstrative withdrawal tactics
- Refusal to use force
- Ignoring any information from the opponent, refusing to collect facts
- Denial of the importance and seriousness of the conflict
- Deliberate slowness in decision making
- Fear of making a retaliatory move
Pros and cons of the Avoidance strategy
The “Avoidance” strategy can be useful in a situation where the essence of the conflict is not particularly important or when there are no plans to maintain relations with the opponent. But here again: if a relationship with a person is important to you, then avoiding responsibility and shifting problems onto someone else’s shoulders will not resolve the situation, otherwise it threatens not only to worsen the situation, but also to deteriorate the relationship and even its final break.
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Compromise
Compromise is a partial satisfaction of the interests of all subjects of conflict interaction.
Basic human actions with the “Compromise” strategy
- Focus on equality of positions
- Offering your own options in response to your opponent’s offer of options
- Sometimes using cunning or flattery to gain favor from an opponent
- Striving to find a mutually beneficial solution
Pros and cons of the “Compromise” strategy
Despite the fact that compromise implies satisfaction of the interests of all subjects of conflict interaction, which, in fact, is fair, it is important to keep in mind that in most situations this strategy should be considered only as an intermediate stage in resolving the situation, preceding the search for the most optimal solution, completely satisfactory to the conflicting parties.
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Cooperation
By choosing a cooperation strategy, the subject of the conflict is determined to resolve the conflict in such a way that it is beneficial to all participants. Moreover, here the position of the opponent or opponents is not simply taken into account, but there is also a desire to ensure that their demands are satisfied as much as possible, as well as one’s own.
Basic human actions with the “Cooperation” strategy
- Gathering information about the opponent, the subject of the conflict and the conflict itself
- Calculating the resources of all participants in the interaction in order to develop alternative proposals
- Open discussion of the conflict, the desire to objectify it
- Consideration of opponent's proposals
Pros and cons of the Collaboration strategy
Cooperation is focused mainly on understanding the opposing position, paying attention to the opponent’s point of view, and finding a solution that suits everyone. Thanks to this approach, mutual respect, understanding and trust can be achieved, which best contributes to the development of long-term, strong and stable relationships. Cooperation is most effective when the subject of the conflict is important to all parties. However, it is important to note that in some situations it can be very difficult to find a solution that suits everyone, especially if the opponent is not cooperative. In this case, the “Cooperation” strategy can only complicate the conflict and delay its resolution indefinitely.
These are the five main strategies for dealing with conflict. As a rule, they are usually used in confrontations with other people. And this is quite justified, because... their effectiveness is undeniable. But, at the same time, other equally effective strategies, such as suppression and negotiations, can be used to resolve conflicts.
What is conflict
The conflict itself reflects the inconsistency of the interests of two or more people: it is a difference of opinions that cannot be satisfied at the same time. When talking about interpersonal conflicts, we are often dealing with a clash between two egos, two universes with their own needs for recognition, and social attitudes. There is no generally accepted theory of conflicts that could unambiguously explain the nature of their occurrence. But many authors from the field of psychology often divide conflicts into several types.
Intrapersonal
Intrapersonal conflicts, as a rule, reflect a clash between different personal needs, motives, feelings, and values. This can be a role conflict when a person's different roles make conflicting demands on him. For example, being a good family man, a person should spend his evenings at home, as his role dictates, but his position as a manager may oblige him to stay late at work. A conflict arises when one role cannot be realized because another is being realized at the same time. How to resolve intrapersonal conflicts? Through reassessment of values, through greater awareness, through the desire for balance - to find time for both work and family.
Photo: Pexels.com
Interpersonal
The other most common type of conflict is interpersonal conflict. This type is not necessarily associated with the dissimilarity of the opponents’ characters. Quite often, the basis of such conflicts is the struggle for limited resources. Everyone believes that they are the ones who need the resources. It is important to remember that such a struggle for resources is not always objective.
Photo: Pexels.com
Between the individual and the group
A conflict between an individual and a group arises when the group establishes certain standards of behavior, and one of the participants breaks out and does not comply with them. It is such a deviation from accepted norms that leads to conflict between the individual and the group.
Intergroup
The clash of several groups with different interests leads to intergroup conflict, where the dispute is conducted at the level of interests of the whole group, the position of the team is defended, and not of each person individually.
Suppression
Suppression is used mainly if the subject of the conflict is not clear or if it has entered a destructive phase, i.e. has become a direct threat to the participants; and also when it is impossible to enter into an open conflict for any reason or when there is a risk of “falling face down in the mud”, losing authority, etc.
Basic human actions with the “Suppression” strategy
- Targeted and consistent reduction in the number of opponents
- Development and application of a system of norms and rules that can streamline relations between opponents
- Creating and maintaining conditions that prevent or complicate conflict interaction between the parties
Pros and cons of the Suppression strategy
Effective suppression of conflict is possible if the essence of the conflict is not clear enough, because this will nullify the mutual attacks of opponents and protect them from senseless waste of their energy. Suppression can also be effective when continued conflict would cause serious harm to both sides. But when resorting to suppression, it is important to correctly calculate your strength, otherwise the situation may worsen and turn against you (if your opponent turns out to be stronger or has more resources). The issue of suppression should be approached by thinking through all the details.
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Choosing the right strategy
Methods for resolving conflicts - what options exist, ways to prevent them
In a conflict situation, individual behavioral strategies produce different results. The choice of manner of action depends on the situation and the personal qualities of the person.
Rivalry
Suitable for:
- When a person has authority, authority, or advantage over an opponent;
- In the case of a built hierarchy of conflicting ones. For example, when one side of the dispute is the boss. Rivalry occurs when there is a younger and an older child in a family;
- In critical situations, when a person has nothing to lose and has no other option but to compete.
Compromise
In what situations is it reasonable to use:
- The desire of one of the conflicting parties is superficial. A person will not suffer much if he does not get what he wants;
- When a decision allows you to at least partially get what you want, at a time when competition can leave you with nothing. According to this principle, parents compromise with the child;
- If all parties to the conflict have equal powers;
- When there is not enough time to develop another strategy. May be a temporary solution until the next negotiations.
Device
Which situations are suitable for:
- When the goal is to establish calm, bring relationships back to normal;
- In family quarrels, when a good attitude is more important than defending your opinion;
- One of the conflicting parties is confident that he is right and understands that he will not suffer if he gives in;
- One side does not have the opportunity to win the dispute. For example, a schoolchild or student cannot conflict with a teacher.
Cooperation
In what situations does it work:
- When every point of view is important, but there is no way to find a compromise;
- If both parties are committed to working together and are ready to listen to each other;
- The parties to the conflict are relatives, friends, business partners who depend on each other.
Evasion
The strategy is used when:
- One side of the conflict considers the cause of the quarrel insignificant;
- A person knows for sure that he cannot win an argument;
- The person in conflict does not have enough authority to defend his position;
- The person plans to stall for time to develop further tactics to gain victory;
- The dispute involves uneducated people, manipulators who can offend;
- One side understands that at the moment, disputes will worsen the situation.
Man swears
Negotiation
Negotiation is one of the most common conflict resolution strategies. With the help of negotiations, both micro-conflicts (in families, organizations) and macro-level conflicts are resolved, i.e. conflicts on a global and national scale.
Basic human actions with the “Negotiations” strategy
- Focus on finding a mutually beneficial solution
- Stopping any aggressive actions
- Showing attention to your opponent's position
- Carefully consider next steps
- Using an intermediary
Pros and cons of the Negotiation strategy
The Negotiation strategy allows the warring parties to find a common language without incurring any losses. It is very effective because... neutralizes aggressive confrontation and smoothes out the situation, and also provides the parties with time to think about what is happening and search for new solutions. However, if negotiations suddenly drag on for some reason, this may be perceived by either party as avoiding the conflict or unwillingness to solve the problem, which may lead to even more aggressive offensive actions.
You should choose a strategy for behavior in a conflict as thoughtfully, consciously, and taking into account the specifics of the situation itself. A correctly chosen strategy will give maximum results, while an incorrectly chosen one, on the contrary, can only aggravate the situation. Therefore, once again carefully study this material and try to apply the acquired knowledge in practice even in small things, because by learning to resolve small conflicts, you will be able to effectively influence large ones. And remember that it is best to prevent the emergence of a conflict situation than to eliminate an already “raging flame.”
Peace to your home!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- Negotiation Matrix
- Conflicts and strategies for dealing with them
- IBR Conflict Resolution Approach
- Game theory: history and application
- Eldred's Power Strategy
- Mintzberg's 5 Ps Strategy for Business Strategy
- How to Deal with Conflicts of Interest
- Porter's Five Forces in Business
- Thomas Questionnaire for Behavior in Conflict
- How to competently enter into conflict
Key words:1Communication
Behavior strategies in conflict situations
To analyze behavior strategies and types of conflicts, let’s consider the series “Unprincipled” about the life and morals of Moscow residents. This series was released in October and was based on the stories of the writer Alexander Tsypkin.
Photo: Kinopoisk.ru
The main narrator of the series, played by Pavel Derevyanko, is an incorrigible rogue who often faces conflict situations due to lies. On the one hand, a lie for him is a way of communication that allows him to gently avoid sharp corners in his relationship with his wife and maintain his status as a family man, despite an endless string of affairs. On the other hand, it gives it lightness and charm, which make it attractive to the fairer sex. At the same time, the hero does not suffer from internal conflict, but we see a picture of an external conflict with others: when he has to surrender his territory to his opponent. In order to restore relations with your wife and lull vigilance, give unexpected and expensive gifts; in the case of inheritance, agree to a deal that is unfavorable for oneself.
Photo: Kinopoisk.ru
Slavik’s closest friend, Kostya, played by Maxim Vitorgan, is an example of a different model of behavior in conflict situations. In the family he adapts to his wife, at work he acts as a leader. And in his case, the role of henpecked is a conscious choice, which allows him to delegate household chores to his wife, and in the meantime, at work, build a career and reach new heights.
Photo: Kinopoisk.ru
Another hero worth paying attention to is Roman, played by Yuri Kolokolnikov. He appears in a very common image: wealthy, lonely and in an eternal search for “the one,” which is what his new employee, Vera, seems to him at some point. And it clearly expresses the internal conflict between the search for adventure and the desire to find some kind of constant comfort.
All these stories give us a valuable conclusion: each of us performs many social roles throughout our lives, therefore masks and costumes must be changed in accordance with the scenery.
