NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is an unrecognized direction in practical psychology. Its effectiveness has not been proven by science, but the crowds at Tony Robbins shows hint that there is something in it. NLP consists of a set of strategies for changing the human psyche. They are compiled from linguistic and psychological techniques, so it is not surprising that many many work.
In the article I will tell you how to use speech strategies and share my opinion on their effectiveness. Suitable for those who want to recognize manipulations in negotiations or in the speeches of sellers.
Tuning before using speech strategies
The purpose of adjustment is to increase the degree of unconscious (intuitive) trust between the manipulator and the interlocutor. This is achieved by copying the opponent at the time of conversation. I assume that the technique is based on evolutionary heritage: ancient people lived in small groups, so they instantly divided sapiens into “us” and “strangers”. The logic is the same here - the more similarities between the interlocutors, the easier it is for the brain to classify the manipulator as “one of our own”.
An example of adjustment from the film “What Women Want” (2013)
There are four types of adjustment:
- under the body: gestures, facial expressions, posture, movements;
- to the voice: volume, manner of speech, intonation;
- to the rhythm: breathing, blinking;
- for speech: characteristic expressions, stylistics.
I took adjustment exercises in acting courses and I want to note: you can’t jump into someone else’s “skin” from a running start. Even after several weeks of practice, the adjustment looked fake and noticeable.
To tune in to your opponent, close your eyes and create an image of him in your head. Compare with the original until you find the perfect ratio.
When adjusting, respect the cultural and corporate characteristics of the environment. It is not at all necessary to put your feet up on the table to copy your boss. If you are a female accountant in a logistics company, squatting next to drivers is also not a good idea.
Start leading your interlocutor. Change your hand movements, minimize the vector of the conversation, reduce the volume of your voice. If you do everything right, your partner will repeat after you. Otherwise, adjust the image in your head again. When you achieve maximum similarity in behavior, start using speech strategies. At the end of the conversation, remove the connecting threads and the conversation will fall apart.
NLP is played out very coolly in the series “The Mentalist”. Tune into any episode from any season to enjoy the charm and manipulative powers of Patrick Jane (Simon Baker).
True NLPer Patrick Jane
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The benefits and harms of NLP
In pursuit of success, you can actively use popular techniques, moving towards your goals. If a partner does not know how to recognize NLP techniques in communication, he will follow the invisible path outlined for him without hesitation.
The impact on relationships within a couple can cause harm. If a guy initially did not have tender feelings for a girl, but she programmed him for a relationship, such a union may turn out to be unhappy for the “in tune” partner.
Developing your abilities and becoming deeply interested in human psychology is a useful activity. The human brain is fraught with countless abilities that you need to try to develop, which will certainly reveal your potential and allow you to enjoy life.
Speech Strategies
Journalists were using speech strategies long before NLP emerged as a separate field. However, they are good for live communication and work in conjunction with adjustments.
Truisms
Truisms are platitudes that do not evoke the desire to argue. They migrated to NLP from philosophy, their effectiveness has not been proven. A person with critical thinking will easily challenge any truism. I'm sure you will do this with almost every statement below:
- good things cannot be cheap;
- there are things that cannot be bought;
- everyone has the right to make mistakes;
- not all yoghurts are equally healthy;
- tastes could not be discussed.
In sales, scripts for handling objections are built on truisms. To the phrase “These shoes are too expensive” you can answer “The stingy one pays twice” and sow doubt inside the client. Truisms are rarely used to identify needs in a live conversation: platitudes standardize the client in his eyes and discourage the desire to continue the conversation. But in advertising posters the truism works well: it allows a person to feel part of society and gives positive emotions. No correct experiments have been conducted on this topic, and successful experiences have local subjective successes.
At first glance there is nothing to argue with. But if you think about it: what will strength give? For whom is it priceless? Why feel it?
Chatting
The strategy includes several techniques to create smoothness and expressiveness of speech and an illusory connection between sentences. For example, the use of conjunctions “and” and “but”. Compare offers:
- Your hair is beautiful, but short.
- Your hair is nice and short.
The first sentence has a negative connotation, the second balances the statements and is positive. Substituting alliances changes the mood of the interlocutor and has a positive effect on him. Of course, there are no facts supporting this. But it actually sounds better.
The second technique is to use the conjunction “and” to connect speech. When I started learning English, I recorded myself on a voice recorder. I listened and was horrified by the pauses and the illogicality of the presentation. To refine my self-image, I used the connective and (“and”) between sentences. So a set of heterogeneous phrases turned into a monologue suitable for listening.
It's the same in Russian. Enter the conjunction “and” and the speech will sparkle with new colors: “And so beautiful is the night. And the stars are shining in the sky. And time flows endlessly."
The following technique is good for written text. Its meaning is to indicate the cause-and-effect relationship between statements:
- the less we love a woman, the more she likes us;
- the more you want to develop, the more you think about buying a new course;
- after you buy noodles, you can buy rolls at a discount;
- I won't go to Mars because I don't have that much money.
The basic rule of babbling came from Ericksonian hypnosis - talk a lot, jump from question to question, actively sprinkle speech with prepositions and conjunctions. End the speech with a request. According to NLP legend, a person simply cannot refuse you. It is difficult for me to assess the effectiveness of this method, since I always listen carefully to people and notice outright nonsense.
Sorry for the quality of the video, but it would be a shame not to share it. NLP as it is)
Presuppositions
Presuppositions are speech tricks in which the suggested fact is spoken of as a matter of course. There are many types of presuppositions, so for convenience I have provided a diagram.
All about presupposition in one diagram
Representational systems
The main techniques used by NLP to influence a person are based on knowledge about the characteristics of the sensory channels of information perception by an individual.
Three main categories (modalities) of representative systems reflect the leading channel of external information, to which a person first of all pays attention:
- to visual (visuals) – visual sensations are central in perception;
- to auditory (audials) – auditory sensations are central in the course of perception;
- to kinesthetic (kinesthetics) - tactile sensations are central during perception.
Any person has all the described modalities of perception, but one is usually used to the maximum - this is the main modality (representative system).
The main (preferred) channel of information perception is formed in an individual during his development.
Typically, this formation is influenced by a whole range of factors:
- from natural, natural (features and properties of objects in the external world),
- to socio-cultural (social, intellectual, cultural environment in which the formation of the individual as a personality occurs).
Reframing (reshaping position)
The goal of this speech strategy is to turn the situation around and force a person to look at the problem differently.
The simplest type of reframing is one-word. Suitable for refuting limiting statements, softening criticism and comments. Replace the unwanted word with a synonym with the desired emotional connotation. And now the former comrade is no longer stupid, but naive; The lady from the accounting department is not pushy, but demanding.
I have a negative attitude towards the substitution of concepts: it does not reflect the situation and does not help in resolving it. If a child deliberately howls at the entire plane, it is unlikely that the mood of passengers will improve if the mother calls him “energetic” rather than spoiled and capricious.
Another type of reframing is grouping. It is divided into “unification” and “separation”. In the first case, the problem is globalized to the level of the crowd (“I’m not the only one who got a D in math, but the whole class”), in the second, it is divided down to the particulars (“What exactly is your misfortune? Not money, a dog or a house?”).
In Lateral Shift you need to use analogies to re-evaluate a situation. Take a negative problem and find an analogy that has new or expanded implications.
The problem has been replaced by a similar one in another area. NLP practitioners believe that as soon as a person finds a solution to a similar situation, the problem will be resolved
You can read more reframing techniques in the book “NLP-2: Generation Next” by Robert Dilts and Judith Delozier.
“Secrets” of the abbreviation N-, L-, P-
From a methodological point of view, “ neuro ” N- represents the conditioning of all processes (related to behavior, a variety of individual actions) by a set of neurological mechanisms occurring in the brain and throughout the human body.
“ Linguistic ” L- emphasizes the importance of verbal functions: through language we manage to organize, streamline our actions and thoughts, and also interact with people around us.
“ Programming ” P- indicates the existence of certain programs and methods of action that help a person streamline (organize) his psyche (himself) in order to achieve the desired result.
The purpose of NLP is to consider the question of how exactly you need to build and organize your experience, what influences it and how it can be controlled. Mastering updated experience for a person looks like the process of receiving a new education - retraining the brain.
Why the described techniques will not work for you
NLP is a set of techniques that will work under a certain set of circumstances, effort and personal qualities. To make them work you need:
- Learn to think systematically and understand why and at what point this or that technique can be used. Mindless reframing or hectoring will not produce results if there is no understanding of basic psychology.
- Use techniques in a meaningful way.
- Many NLP techniques came out of Ericksonian hypnosis. It is naive to believe that a person in his right mind will instantly adapt to reframing. You either have to work with him for a long time or put him into a trance.
You may have noticed that my attitude towards NLP is rather negative. I believe that in Russia there is a low culture of using psychological techniques. They are used for manipulation in non-ecological businesses, sects and pyramids, in self-development and pick-up trainings. Many people have their money taken away, some have their lives ruined. Therefore, the purpose of the article is not to teach you manipulation, but to protect you from it - forewarned is forearmed.
For NLP supporters, I repeat: I do not deny that techniques work in the hands of specialists - psychologists or skilled speakers. But in the hands of amateurs they turn into an infernal machine.
Possible results of the technique
The main result of studying how NLP works will be a significant improvement in the quality of your own life. Building your thinking allows you to concentrate on useful details. By moving in a given direction, without wasting energy and time avoiding undesirable aspects, you can soon arrange your life so that everything in it brings only pleasure.
How to manipulate people - can this be learned, methods of influence
Increasing the level of personal satisfaction with life is one of the most common goals pursued by society. Learning to let reality pass through oneself in such a way that inevitable negative aspects do not become an obstacle to making one’s own plans is one of the most valuable abilities available to those who study the techniques.
Interesting. Only hypnosis can influence people like NLP, but it cannot be invisible, unlike latent manipulation.
Ways to avoid manipulation
To avoid manipulation, you do not need to study how this method works, you just need to clearly and clearly understand what you want, understand and accept your weaknesses and learn to completely control yourself so that combat hypnosis is not used on you.
If you come to the store, you should take only the goods that you need. Don't be influenced by experienced consultants who try so hard to sell you something you don't need or to convince you of the necessity and importance of this product. Use intelligence and prudence, and the likelihood of being fooled will be minimized. Try to control the rhythm of your life, not fall into despair and depression, and take care of your mental health.
Basics
The impact of NLP practices is based on the suggestibility of the individual. Frequent repetition of phrases takes root in a person’s consciousness, changing his worldview and behavior. The result is such manifestations as refusal of rich food, the emergence of new attachments, interests, and useful habits. Thanks to this psychological technique, people get rid of excess weight and correct their behavior.
Psychologists, by manipulating the patient’s consciousness, can force him to believe in himself, become more sociable, stop hiding his talents, and engage in self-development. These changes in behavior will help you achieve success, become self-sufficient, and unlock your potential. As a result, this will make the person richer spiritually and materially. This is what NLP techniques are used to attract money.
There are also negative sides to the direction. By influencing consciousness, the manipulator forces a person to do things that are beneficial only to him: buying an unnecessary thing, making unprofitable deals, giving his own money, etc.
Using NLP techniques with men, some girls make rich businessmen fall in love with them and deceive them out of money.
How it works?
Followers of NLP believe that there is a connection between language, behavior and neurological processes. By setting a goal, mentally managing the process, you can influence the work of internal organs: gain and lose weight, regulate blood pressure, heart rate, body temperature, get rid of pain, stuttering, nervous tics, etc. They have developed techniques that allow you to get rid of from stress, negative experiences, to evoke within yourself feelings of joy, pleasure, and the desire to create.
NLP techniques allow you to influence the consciousness of a stranger. According to experts, with their help you can make your chosen one fall in love with you or make him fall out of love, gain favor and come to an agreement with anyone. Today, NLP techniques have been developed to attract money, success, and career advancement.
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