How to survive your wife's betrayal? 3 solutions to cope with the situation with dignity

Why do women cheat?

First you need to understand what pushed your wife to take such a step. Because a woman’s betrayal and a man’s betrayal are completely different concepts. And not a single normal girl will jump into bed with another if the relationship with you completely suits her.

Well, unless she is a whore by nature. So, we had to choose better.

But that's not what I'm talking about now. You had a long, strong, stable relationship, and suddenly there was betrayal on her part. Let me tell you right away - it is very unlikely that your wife was just chasing a bigger dick. Women are built completely differently, and if she cheated on you, it means there were deeper reasons for this that you did not notice.

Some of the most common reasons may include:

1. You began to treat her with indifference. You may not even notice it, but women see this moment very clearly. You conquered her, gave flowers and gifts, said compliments and carried her in your arms so that she became yours. And now you have achieved it, which means that the need to show signs of attention, in your opinion, has disappeared. She's already yours, where will she go? Only she still needed these courtships, pleasant words and sweet surprises. And if you don’t give this to your wife, she herself will find where to get it.
2. You suffocated her with jealousy. Yes, yes, don’t be surprised that constant scenes of groundless jealousy can one day lead to real betrayal. Because if you blame her all the time and suspect her of something she didn’t do, she might freak out. And in the end, decide that it’s better for you to pester her for business, and not just like that.

3. She wants to take revenge on you. And not necessarily for some big misconduct on your part. You're being rude. You're not paying attention to her. You are not the same as she loved you. Anything can be a trigger. And if she can’t convey her complaints to herself because you simply don’t hear them, she just wants you to feel all these inconveniences too.
4. You don't satisfy her sexually. This is one of the very common reasons why women cheat. After all, it’s not just you who needs sex—it may be even more important to her than to you. And your pleasure in bed is not equal to your wife's pleasure. Talk to her, ask what she wants in bed, don't be afraid to experiment. And when you are just a sex god for her, she won’t even look in the direction of other men.
5. She wants to assert herself. Again, over time you stop paying as much attention to her as you did before. And she no longer feels that she is desirable, beautiful and that men want her. To raise her self-esteem and check how successful she is among other males, a girl may decide to cheat.

If you begin to notice some alarm bells, you cannot ignore them. Otherwise the consequences will be very sad.

When you understand for yourself why this all happened, the next question arises: how to forgive your wife’s betrayal and is it necessary to do this?

What not to do after learning about cheating

Below are typical mistakes that men usually make when they learn about their partner’s infidelity. These actions should be carefully avoided, as they can complicate life and lead to serious irreversible consequences.

NEVER hit a woman - you will be ashamed later.

At the moment you are overwhelmed by emotions, so you can lose control of yourself. If you feel close to a breakdown, just walk away. Stop the conversation, go outside and leave the house. Wait until you move away. Scream, hit a pear or tree, let off steam.

If you cannot control yourself, communicate with your wife through intermediaries or by phone. This way you will not commit irreparable actions.

1. Rudeness in words . Tell your spouse whatever first comes to mind: insults, curses, threats, etc. You can restore a relationship with a woman, but the resentment from the hurtful words spoken will remain for a long time. Is it worth mentioning that it is precisely because of your harsh statements that your wife may not agree to restore the relationship.
2. Raise your hand to your wife . When rage clouds the eyes and turns off the mind, a man can use his fists, but under no circumstances should this be done. By leaving beatings on your wife's body, you will fall low in her eyes. A woman will understand that she did the right thing by finding another man. In addition, she can contact the police, and you will suffer the punishment you deserve.
3. Threaten or beat your lover . Think about it: could your lover know about your existence? Maybe the wife hid the fact of her marriage or lied to the man that she was in the process of divorcing you. Be that as it may, the spouse who consciously took such a step should answer to you first of all. An exception may be the situation if your lover is your friend, neighbor or just an acquaintance who knew 100% about the marriage of his passion. But even in this case, the blame lies only with the wife. It was she who promised to remain faithful to you, but did not keep her word. And her lover didn’t promise you anything.
4. Ignore your wife . First, of course, you need to take a little time to think, be alone and think everything over carefully. But after that, be sure to give your wife the opportunity to speak. Let her explain the reasons for her infidelity, express everything that has accumulated in her soul. Yes, and it will be useful for you to learn about the reasons for betrayal and make a decision on how to live further.
5. Blame yourself. You will have to analyze your behavior and decide whether you could have pushed your loved one to cheat with a careless word or deed. But there is no point in self-flagellation. Understand that adults must solve all problems through conversations, open up to each other, make decisions and work on themselves. If your spouse wasn’t happy with something about you, why didn’t she say so directly? Or is she tired of knocking on a closed door and enduring your indifference? Be that as it may, you should look at yourself objectively from the outside, but not blame yourself. Cheating is a conscious choice by your spouse, and this is not an adequate solution to family problems.
6. Tell other people about cheating . The exception is a psychologist whom you can contact to solve the problem. Remember that discussing the situation with friends, colleagues and family may lead you to make the wrong decision, which you may later regret. Do not take family matters beyond the threshold of the house; no one has the right to decide what you should do with your own wife and how to live. In addition, according to statistics, it will be easier for you to save your family if no one knows about this situation.
7. Humiliate yourself in front of your wife . If your missus has not repented one bit of what she did and decided to leave you, do not fall on your knees in front of her and do not ask her to return. A woman who values ​​her marriage won't behave like this, and you don't have to drag your own dignity into the dirt.
8. To take revenge on your wife or lover . Even if you decide to take revenge in a fairly harmless way and sleep with a cute colleague to get revenge on your wife, know that this is a bad idea. First of all, it won't change anything, but it will make you a traitor, why would you stoop to that level? Secondly, it will be ugly towards the girl with whom you will have intimacy. Imagine yourself in her place, would you be pleased with the thought that you were blatantly used? Thirdly, your betrayal will only further confuse the already complex relationship between you and your spouse, and will not bring you any closer to solving the problem.

If you have not made any of these mistakes, you can consider yourself a worthy and balanced person. Keeping a cool head in your situation is a lot of work and requires a lot of endurance.

Should you forgive your wife for cheating?

I'll tell you one thing you won't like. It is your fault that your wife went to the left. Not that leftist dick she slept with, not her, but you. Because you didn't give her what she needed, and she went looking for it from another guy.

Women do not run away from strong, confident, pumped-up alpha males to insignificant wimps. And if you are now tearing out the hair on your ass, wrapping snot in your fist and cannot understand how to forget your wife’s betrayal, then you are a weakling who is worthless.

A man who works on himself, invests in his development, will not be jealous of his woman. And she won’t cheat on him. Because he's cool, because he's better than others, because he knows how to make his partner happy.

And if your wife cheated on you, there is nothing to forgive or not forgive her for. All questions should be addressed to you. Take responsibility for your life, in the end, stop shifting it to others. You yourself must control everything that happens around you. And if such a situation occurs in your personal life, it means that you made a mistake somewhere, and now you are dealing with the consequences.

When you accept this responsibility, you will understand whether you can forgive your woman. Perhaps you were both wrong, and her cheating was the result of an unfortunate combination of circumstances. Working together on this problem or getting help from a family psychologist will help you cope with the crisis in your relationship. Or maybe it will be easier for you to break up and start a new life without each other.

How to restore a relationship

Since surviving a wife’s betrayal and saving a family is much more difficult than getting a divorce, some husbands doubt that they will ever be able to return to their previous relationship.

Love will help restore a marriage; without it, there is no point in trying to resurrect something that has long died. The main thing for spouses is to understand that there is nothing more valuable than their marriage, and all the problems that arise along the path of life are just obstacles that need to be overcome together.

The most difficult thing is to regain trust.

To regain trust, you need to believe your wife with all your heart, make sure of her repentance, stop being jealous of her and blaming her for all mortal sins.

If you feel bad at the thought of being betrayed, imagine starting a new relationship. Although you are still with your old wife, with the same life and way of life, the main thing is that you are both now new people who have started a new life. And whatever happened in the past should not negatively affect your current relationship, but both of you should learn a valuable lesson from this past.

To make life truly sparkle with new colors, do everything possible to update it:

• go on a trip with your wife;
• change your place of residence or job;
• Find a common hobby that will bring you even closer together.

Some couples even decide to have another wedding ceremony in order to thus consolidate the moment of the beginning of a new life.

Do not have a child on emotions - first make sure that the relationship is good. A child can rock the boat even more.

You will definitely succeed if you both are open to each other, trust and forgive each other. Only real deep feelings will help restore the family.

What to do if your wife cheated?

How can a man survive his wife's betrayal? How to cope with a marriage falling apart at the seams? What to do when you find out about her infidelity? There are three main paths you can take. But which one to choose is your personal decision.

You don't tell her that you know about cheating

Let's say the situation is like this. You analyzed what happened, realized what was your fault and your mistake. And that your wife cheated not because she just wanted variety, but because she wasn’t happy with you.

After digesting all these thoughts, you came to the conclusion that you want to save your relationship and fix the situation. In this case, it is better not to tell her that you know about her infidelity. Now I will explain why.

Our psyche is designed in such a way that if your offense was not made public, your feeling of guilt is not so strong and not so destructive. Yes, she will be ashamed, she may regret that she cheated, but at least she will not feel the enormous guilt in front of you that she could have. I'm not saying she won't feel guilty at all. There will be, of course. But she will cope with it much easier if the girl does not see your condemning look every time.

At the same time, there is no need to deceive yourself and pretend that nothing happened. Someday later, when the crisis has been overcome, when passions have subsided, you will be able to talk about all this - calmly and constructively. But your main task for today is to make your relationship stronger, more harmonious and happier.

If you have already figured out what exactly your mistakes were, correct them. Work on yourself and on making you more comfortable together. How to behave after your wife cheats in order to save the relationship?

Don’t spend whole days at work, spend more time with your wife, be interested in how she lives in general. Remember what you did at the very beginning of your relationship to win her love. Give compliments, do not skimp on affection and care, show interest in her. A caring, loving, exemplary husband does not make you want to go to the left.

Or maybe the problem is that you relaxed your buns and let yourself go? Or is it that work, friends and weekend fishing have become more important to you than your family? You need to analyze yourself and understand where you can improve yourself. What you need to develop so that you can be proud of yourself.

Join the gym and get in shape. Take my training and become a super lover, the very sight of whom will make her knees shake.

And believe me, when you level up, your woman won’t even think about other men. Because next to her will again be that alpha male whom she once fell in love with.

You talk to her and you solve the problem together

The first option is not suitable for everyone, I understand. It is very difficult to contain everything to yourself when you find out about betrayal. Therefore, you can take the second path and talk to your wife frankly.

How to forgive your wife’s betrayal when resentment, anger and misunderstanding are bubbling inside you? Naturally, you want to immediately tell her everything to her face. But remember: you are an adult, confident man, and you should not stoop to insults and accusations, much less hysterics and assault.

You should have another task: find out the reasons that pushed her to cheat, set priorities for your family and decide how you will rebuild your relationship. Frank conversation is what will help save your marriage if it is important to both of you.

Do not remain silent and do not pretend that this situation does not affect you. Tell me that you are hurt, unpleasant, offended, but you want to improve and fix everything. Find out what doesn't suit her about you, and what kind of partner she wants to see next to her. What does she lack, what does she want to change in your relationship? A heart-to-heart conversation will help you understand her motivations and desires.

Because most likely you weren't paying attention to what was important to her. You thought that this was unnecessary tinsel. And when you figure out what her complaints are, don't ignore them. Start improving, change, develop, become someone she can be proud of.

There is no universal recipe, everything is individual. But remember that if you want to rebuild your relationship, you don’t need to move away from her. This is most likely what you want because your ego has been hurt and you want to lick those wounds alone. But pretending that you are strangers is wrong. You need to show your woman attention, care and affection so that she can see: you love her, appreciate her and don’t want to lose her.

Get a divorce

If you don’t know how to forget your wife’s betrayal, and don’t want to rebuild a broken relationship, say that you want to get a divorce.

As I said, women don’t cheat just like that. If she is unfaithful to you, it means she is uncomfortable with you. And if you, too, are now extremely uncomfortable, and there are no bright prospects ahead, take your balls into your fist and put an end to the relationship.

When you don't want to correct the mistakes you both made, you don't need to torture yourself or her. Let her go to the man who wants to do all this.

Read my article on how to properly separate from your wife and take this difficult step.

What to do if you find out your spouse is cheating

First, analyze where and how you found out that your wife was cheating on you. Is it possible that someone is simply jealous of you and wants to destroy your family happiness. If the information came to you from a dubious source (acquaintances, colleagues, friends of your wife, neighbors), then a calm conversation with your wife will certainly clarify the situation.

It is quite possible that the man who drove your wife home today turned out to be a simple taxi driver. And the person leaving the apartment shortly before your arrival is just a courier who brought food or some goods ordered by his wife from the Internet.

Do not rush to attack from the shoulder and accuse the missus of infidelity directly head-on. Start a conversation and watch the reaction.

If you have serious doubts, you can try to collect evidence of female infidelity in order to avoid groundless accusations.

It’s another matter if the wife herself admitted to cheating on you or was caught red-handed. In this case, you will have to pull yourself together and try to calm down so as not to do anything stupid. Men with wounded pride can, in a fit of anger, harm the health of their spouse or her boyfriend, or even kill.

Take a break

The first thing you need to do is to be completely alone. Even if your spouse insists on talking and wants to sort things out with you, ask her to give you some time to think about everything that happened. During this period, try not to meet with friends, not to drown out your feelings with alcohol, not to throw yourself headlong into work, and especially not to immediately run to cheat on your wife with another lady in revenge.

Don't try to lose yourself in the arms of another - it will hurt you even more.

Understand what you want

When you find yourself alone with yourself, ask yourself a question: do you love your wife? Imagine your future life without this woman, focus on your feelings.

If thoughts of breaking up give you pain, but your love for this woman is still as strong as before, think about how you will restore your relationship.

Think about what could have caused her to cheat:

• Maybe there was a conflict between you or you somehow offended your loved one?
• Did they insult her, humiliate her, ignore her, or even hit her?
• Or did they begin to take the presence of their wife nearby as a given, forgetting about affection, compliments and basic attention?

Understand that women are sensitive and fragile creatures, it is important for them to receive signs of attention from a man. To see that they are loved and want closeness with them. If this is not the case, then it is not surprising that a woman will rush into the arms of the man who provides the lady with everything she needs to be happy.

Talk

When you have thought it over thoroughly and come to your senses, it is time to discuss your spouse’s behavior with her personally. Calmly ask what were the motives for her betrayal, what motivated her, what she expected from her relationship with her lover.

So you look at your relationship from the outside, see your mistakes, imagine yourself in her place. It is possible that your marital relationship seemed normal to you, but your wife, who turned into a servant and felt like an empty place, had a different opinion about your marriage.

For women, feelings will always come first. Ladies decide to have physical intimacy with a man only if they feel love or at least sympathy for him. Only a small percentage of cheaters cheat for the sake of intimacy.

Divorce in this situation is the simplest and easiest way out, but it is not always correct. If you feel attached to your wife and continue to love her even after betrayal, then you should try to save the marriage and work on your mistakes.

Cool down

The best thing you can do when you find out about your wife's real infidelity while drunk is to leave. While rabies is boiling in your blood, you can do a lot of irreparable things and it will get even worse. Leaving will allow you to physically distance yourself from the problem for a while and calm down.

You need someone close to whom you can talk. Talk about what happened, talk through a problem, or write about how you feel on paper. You will “throw out” the pain and it will become easier. There is no need to make immediate, irrevocable decisions and communicate them to others.

Is it possible to save a family after my husband cheats?

Women often wonder whether to save the family after infidelity and how to deal with it. To answer it, you need to find out whether it was a one-time clouding of reason or systematic behavior. The approach should be completely different. In the first option, men most often admit (or the fact is discovered by chance) and behave guiltily, which leads to a fairly quick reconciliation with their spouse and further life.

In the second situation - a long-term relationship between the spouse or multiple infidelities - the likelihood of their termination is negligible. Accordingly, family life has the gloomiest prospects.

Some women in such a situation are ready to endure, which most often leads to the following consequences:

• Accumulated constant fatigue resulting from a showdown with a spouse, jealousy, etc.
• Decreasing self-esteem, leading to the fact that a woman stops taking care of herself, updating her wardrobe, etc.
• The feeling of doom that can arise as a result of divorce. Many women believe that finding a life partner after 30 years is very difficult and are afraid to leave their husband.
• Problems in raising a child due to lack of attention and constant irritability.
• Psychological difficulties that arise in children due to improper relationships between parents. As a result, they grow up not entirely full-fledged people: sometimes with increased aggression, excessively silent, striving to attract attention, or completely detached from the world.

All these difficulties and deviations can be found in families where the man is often absent or puts some kind of pressure on his wife. Psychologists believe that up to 20% of all families live in a similar situation, and the question of whether to save the family after the husband’s betrayal should not arise here.

To make the right decision, you need to take a sober look at your life and your husband’s actions. You can talk to your friends and listen to their opinions about your spouse.

The majority of all divorces occur in situations where the spouses initially did not understand each other or were overly biased. If it is impossible to take a sober look at your husband, it is better to ask a person whose authority you trust. It is necessary to clearly understand that if a husband wants to save the family after infidelity, then he must take some steps for this.