Relationships: what is it and what are they?

Author of the material:

Svetlana Smyshlyak

philologist, writer, lyric poet

What are the relationships? How different are their shapes from each other? What types of relationships can be classified as positive, neutral or negative and what is their essence? The features of these types allow you to see how diverse they can be, what consequences they entail, and what is at the center of their focus. The meaning of relationships, their forms and the main strategies of behavior in them are further in the article.

What is a relationship?

A relationship is a strong connection between two subjects, which is based on emotional attachment, reciprocity, and awareness of one’s obligations to the partner. A healthy, mutually beneficial, long-lasting and serious relationship is based on 5 components:

confidence . The opportunity to relax, not wait for a trick, as well as confidence in the person who is nearby, brings you very close. This is why trust is one of the most important parts of a good union;
respect. The ability to appreciate each other improves any relationship, makes partners feel needed and recognized;
attention . If people see each other or correspond once a year, then their connection can hardly be called strong and reliable. It is important to spend time with loved ones, create new memories and impressions;
tolerance. Tolerance for other people's shortcomings, lack of aggression, acceptance of the difference between two personalities help to overcome difficulties and avoid serious conflicts;
sincerity _ Lying undermines trust and respect, suppresses the desire to give attention to the deceiver and treat him with tolerance. This is what makes openness and honesty so important.

Take the compatibility test

If at least one of the parts is ignored, the relationship begins to gradually deteriorate and then collapse. It is also important that such demands are made to both partners. Even if one of them follows absolutely all the rules, and the other forgets about them, problems will still arise, regardless of the efforts of the first.

These 5 components apply not only to friendships or romantic relationships. They apply everywhere, but the degree and understanding of these rules varies. For example, a business partnership also requires trust, honesty, and the other listed elements. The same applies to the interaction between teacher-student, parent-child, buyer-seller, supplier-seller, customer-performer, and any other social roles. Without 5 such details, it is impossible to achieve a common goal, since the meaning of all cooperation is lost.

Relationships between a man and a woman

There can be friendly and professional relationships between a man and a woman, but love relationships deserve more attention. The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman is difficult, because representatives of different sexes have different needs. It is difficult for a man and a woman to understand each other, which complicates building relationships.

Types of relationships between a man and a woman :

Harmonious. Such relationships are characterized by a shared vision of life and goals, as well as complete acceptance of each other.
Full immersion. Partners dissolve in each other, they forget about other areas of life and put their relationship at the center of everything.
Passionate. Relationships are built on sexual attraction and strong chemistry. Such relationships bring strong emotions, but end quickly.
Independent. In this format there is no strong intimacy between partners; everyone lives their own lives.

Forms of relationships.

Positive.

This form of relationship in its orientation is often called “moving towards people.” This category allows partners to achieve a common goal or even different tasks, but with mandatory mutual assistance and active assistance. In most cases, the central place in them is given to feelings and personal attitude towards the communication partner.

In positive unions, there are troubles, disputes, and conflicts, but they are insignificant compared to the positive aspects and benefits. Their main types include:

love is a complex feeling not only between homosexual or heterosexual partners, but also between relatives, in relation to things, activities, animals, phenomena, even abstract concepts;
intimacy is not always an experience based on deep feelings, which gives a feeling of reliability, stability, security;
friendship is a strong emotional connection built on mutuality of interests, the need to be part of society, to look for like-minded people;
friendship - weak interaction without serious emotional ties, but with benevolent intentions;
attraction - a short-term instinctive craving for another person based on sexual or platonic desires;
altruism is philanthropy, including tolerance, humanity, complete selflessness, kindness towards others, even those with whom there are no serious connections.

The same relationship can include several positive types of communication at once. They also often flow from one to another, but only with the consent of both parties.

Neutral.

Do you want to make better decisions, find your ideal career, realize your maximum potential and receive instructions for individual development?

?
All this can be done using the Human Design
. Build your map and get basic decryptions for free.

“Movement from people” is the second name to describe the orientation of relationships of this form. They can evoke different emotions - both bad and good. However, in fact, the participants in such interaction do not bring any serious benefit or harm to each other.

Sometimes these relationships are situational, that is, they depend on specific circumstances. Over time, while maintaining communication between the participants, this form can smoothly flow into one of the types of positive or negative relationships. The types of the most neutral form include:

autism is a deliberate or unconscious loss of connection with reality, including people, “withdrawal.” Develops with mental disorders or after receiving serious psychological trauma;
indifference – refusal to make contact, to provide any type of assistance (physical, intellectual, emotional, verbal, etc.) due to lack of acquaintance, benefit, suitable conditions, affection, etc.;
conformism is a type of connection in which one person agrees with someone else’s opinion, copies it only out of fear of appearing different from everyone else, or the desire to become a member of some social group. It can be internal (full acceptance and attribution of other people’s attitudes) and external (a person follows the norms and rules of another, but remains to his own opinion, without expressing it openly);
egoism is the desire to satisfy one’s needs and interests without taking into account the aspirations and needs of others. Contrary to stereotypes, this is not a negative type of relationship, but still neutral, since the individual does not have a direct goal of harming others. He doesn’t think about them at all, preferring to concentrate exclusively on his own motives and priorities.

The neutral form of relationships, as a rule, does not last long. It is stable only if people do not know each other personally and they do not have obvious common problems or interests.

For example, a woman is unlikely to feel anything when she receives news that her son's acquaintance has fallen off his bicycle. However, if this same friend suddenly falls ill with, say, chickenpox, as the son himself was recently ill with, then the mother will involuntarily show sympathy and empathy for the boy. In addition, she will most likely sympathize even with this guy’s parent, who is unknown to her.

Negative.

Orientation – “movement against people”. Negative forms of communication and interaction in general become causes of violence, open or secret confrontation. However, not always everything comes to active action. People may well feel something unpleasant towards each other, but not decide on open hostility.

If outwardly the negative is not expressed in any way, the opponent is not even aware of the bad emotions that he evokes, then this is one of the forms of neutral relationships. And only when at least one of the partners, by word or deed, purposefully causes any inconvenience, can we talk about negative connections. These include:

negativism is an unmotivated desire to act contrary to accepted rules, specifically not to meet expectations and requirements;
hostility – a discriminatory attitude towards a certain category of people (racism, ageism, ableism, sexism) or towards a specific person;
hatred is a sharp negative motivated feeling of the subject, a complete refusal to accept the values, opinions, needs of the object;
aggression is dangerous negative behavior towards another person, which is accompanied by physical or psychological violence.

Negative relationships are difficult to fix and turn into positive ones. This requires active voluntary work by both parties towards the same goal.

Take a temperament test

Patterns of behavior in relationships.

Patterns (or strategies) of interactions in relationships differ. Basically, the centers of their differences are the goals set by each person, the methods of achieving them, and the peculiarities of influencing each other in the process. In total, there are 5 main tactics.

Cooperation.

In cooperation, people's goals can be both common and different, but not contradictory. At the same time, the participants necessarily help each other move towards the end point, not forgetting about their needs and guidelines. This is the best option for interaction, as it allows you to take care of another person without violating your own principles. And the result is a goal achieved.

In order for cooperation to be effective and to take place at all, it is important to observe the 5 components of a healthy relationship, which have already been written about in the first paragraph. In addition, it is based on complete reciprocity, since the efforts of one party will not be enough. Then cooperation will turn into altruism, which will be discussed later.

Individualism.

Individualism is movement towards personal goals without taking into account the interests and needs of a partner. In this case, the landmark or end point may be identical. However, partners, despite the benefits of working together, prefer to move alone.

A typical example is the heads of competing companies. They can join forces and enter into a partnership to achieve more together. However, they choose competition to single-handedly take first place in their niche. Individualism is also chosen by both parties if one of them refuses to cooperate when the other has a desire (refusal of altruism).

Compromise.

In modern psychology, in contrast to the theories of the twentieth century, it is generally accepted that compromise is not a solution to the problem. This is a mutual voluntary sacrifice of part of one’s interests for the sake of the “common good.” How does this manifest itself in everyday life?

Conditions . Spouses have different interests and weekend plans. The wife wants to go to the theater or any other cultural institution together. My husband wants to relax in nature.
Solution . As a result of the conversation, the spouses agree to compromise - to spend some weekends according to the woman’s plan, others according to the man’s plan.
Problem . Every second weekend, one of the spouses is forced to endure an unloved activity. Over time, the situation heats up, discontent accumulates, it becomes harder to adapt, and conflicts arise.

There are two solutions: either the spouses find an option for cooperation, that is, they avoid sacrifices (for example, she goes to the theater with her friends, he goes on a hike with colleagues), or constant quarrels will lead to a breakup or a negative form of the relationship.

Altruism.

Altruism in this context is helping an opponent achieve his goals while ignoring or abandoning his own. That is, this is one-sided assistance, making their altruist a victim of the situation at his own request.

Usually, the patience and selflessness of altruists do not last long in personal relationships and do not appear at all in business relationships. The only exceptions are spiritual, consciously platonic, sublime relationships. However, they appeal to few people.

What does the term "human relations" mean?

The concept of human relations plays an important role in developing and maintaining a positive work environment.
This helps employers retain their employees. Moreover, it also motivates employees to work hard and thus has a positive impact on their productivity. These are some of the most important points that highlight the importance of human relationships. When an organization's leadership embraces the principles of human relations, they are more likely to create an environment in which their employees have the maximum opportunity to thrive. Human relations can also be simply defined as the ability with which people in a professional environment interact positively with each other, thereby building strong relationships with each other. For example, managers of an organization can ensure better human relations practices by implementing more systematic ways of managing the organization, as well as providing enhanced communication channels that can help develop and deepen mutual understanding among employees.

Moreover, the management can also organize or provide opportunities to its employees for various trainings and seminars where they can work on their potential and skills. Management also plays a constructive role in resolving problems faced by their employees and can intervene to resolve disputes among their employees. Through all these initiatives, managing a professional environment helps their team feel confident in them and grow, thereby ensuring the success of the organization.

It is therefore appropriate that the importance of human relations is not only for the benefit of the employees but also for the entire organization. This is a win-win situation. This provides an opportunity for people working in the same environment to practice good interpersonal skills. All skills developed and honed in accordance with the principle of human relations remain with the student and help him in other areas of life.