Netiquette: 20 rules of behavior on the Internet for you and your children

has been teaching the discipline of digital communications and social media at RANEPA for several years. She also became the author of the book and telegram channel “Digital Etiquette”

The topic of digital etiquette is very much in demand for most people who communicate through the online space with others. Some things in this material may seem obvious - this means that you observe etiquette, including digital etiquette, and adhere to certain standards of behavior online. But still, here you will certainly find information that is worth taking into account.

“Etiquette allows us not to make a choice every second, but to act according to the thumb and know for sure that this will be approved behavior.”

Millennial Etiquette

The British conducted a study and asked people what, in their opinion, is the biggest violation of etiquette.

1. littering - 72% 2. listening to music too loudly - 56% 3. talking too loudly in public transport - 53% 4. using the phone at the dinner table - 52% 5. reading other people's messages - 50% 6. taking up too much space in the kitchen crowded transport - 49% 7. looking at the phone, not at the interlocutor - 47% 8. talking to someone without taking out headphones - 42% 9. making tea for yourself and not offering it to those present - 36% 10. scrolling through someone's photo album online without asking - 33%

At least 5 out of 10 points relate to our digital behavior.

“Our digital behavior matters. The way we behave in virtual space becomes part of our identity.”

And, of course, when we talk about digital behavior, two things must be mentioned:

1. Digital etiquette.
2. Rules for correct, convenient and effective interaction in the digital space.

Typical user mistakes

The most common mistakes made by Internet users include the following:

• use of profanity;
• inciting disputes and strife, insulting people;
• theft, fraud, deception;
• conversations on abstract topics in inappropriate places.

The concept of “ethical code of online communication” appeared relatively recently. But the foundation for it was laid 2 decades ago, when the World Wide Web became a place for active communication between representatives of different cultures, states, faiths, social groups and professions.

The emergence of virtual ethics is explained by the need for a single standard of communication acceptable to every member of the online community.

Principles of Digital Etiquette

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Showing a Positive Attitude

This principle came to digital etiquette from everyday etiquette. It's important to demonstrate that I treat people well. Therefore, I will like a friend if I see a nice photo on Instagram, and I will react to a post that evoked an internal response in me. Just like when I meet someone I know on the street, I will greet this person.

Subordination

It seems to many that the Internet space blurs the lines and allows one to behave in a familiar manner. But the digital environment is inseparable from ordinary life, so subordination is transferred to the digital space.

Symmetry

When we begin to communicate in the digital space, we can focus on how our interlocutor does it. If someone sends you voice messages, stickers, emojis, you can do the same. It’s the same with Zoom meetings - usually everyone agrees that the meeting will take place with the cameras on, or, conversely, off. If one of the interlocutors’ camera does not work, or he simply does not want to show himself today, then he must warn the others.

Maintaining personal boundaries

As with everyday etiquette, respecting personal boundaries is very important. Do not come too close to a person, do not hold his sleeve, do not grab food from his plate with your hands. Etiquette makes us feel safe. There are also digital boundaries. This is a private space that is important to respect. For example, you don’t need to write to people at night, you don’t need to go to pages on social networks and write to people something that they themselves would not want to advertise: “Well, have you already divorced your boyfriend?” or “Have you quit your stupid job yet?”

Convenience and resource saving

When we start communicating with someone, we must think about how best to communicate with the person now and save time - ours and the interlocutor's: call, write in instant messenger, record a voice message, or send a letter by mail. Let's say, if this is some kind of detailed instructions with many files, links and other attachments, then it is better to send an email - there is too much detailed information. And if you are trying to explain a problem, for example, related to a car, then the fastest way to do this is in voice messages.

Tradition

Customary etiquette has evolved over three centuries. And now we don’t think about why we need to hold a fork in our left hand and a knife in our right. And digital etiquette has been evolving over the last 26 years, and, fortunately, nothing has happened so far that we couldn’t explain using common sense. For example, on social networks it is not customary to like your posts. If you think about it, you can assume that such behavior may mean a lack of interest in other people: “I like myself because my posts are interesting to me, and that’s what you want.”

Conventionality

The principle of agreement. The most pleasant opportunity that you need to take advantage of. “Is it more convenient for you to write or call now?”, “How will we send heavy files to each other?”, “Let’s not call each other after 23:00?”

A lot has changed during the pandemic. People began to renegotiate, set rules and structure their communication on the Internet.

Safety

The principle by which we all think about the strength of passwords and the accessibility of the information we share with others.

Changeability

Digital etiquette, which is only 26 years old, is changing before our eyes. If we used to inform by phone that a letter had been sent by email, thus showing concern for the person, now we don’t need to do this - notification of a new letter is usually sent to everyone on the same smartphone.

There is no longer any need to say hello and goodbye every time you make contact in chats. We are constantly online, so communication has become easier.

Even today it is not at all necessary to congratulate your entire phone book on the New Year or other holiday. We are drowning in the information flow, so we need to send congratulations only to those to whom we are not too lazy to write a separate unique congratulation, and not send one postcard downloaded from some site to everyone.

In some articles, psychologists and digital communication specialists wrote that people should not flood in work chats or send videos, memes and stickers. Towards the end of the self-isolation regime, this principle stopped working: now it is recommended to send jokes and emoji directly to the chat, because positivity will not hurt anyone when there is a lack of communication.

The same thing, for example, with the Zoom platform. People experience a lot of stress during a Zoom meeting. Firstly, because they see themselves on the screen. Secondly, while communicating with others via video calls, we constantly think about how we look. Thirdly, there is a delay in video calls and sometimes it seems that people are not listening if the response from them is not immediate.

Therefore, psychologists began to say that it is not necessary to conduct every meeting with video. This norm has changed during the pandemic.

Different – ​​in different communities

In different communities and social groups, etiquette is structured differently. Schoolchildren, for example, send each other audio messages and stickers. Or, say, in business in Japan, people send huge emails because they spend the first half of the email apologizing for disturbing the other person and asking for their time. With us, it’s the other way around - the more concise the letter, the more respect we treat the interlocutor: everything is brief and to the point.

So just remember that every time you communicate with colleagues or students, friends or management, your communications will be different.

Basic Concepts

When studying what netiquette is, you first need to understand the concepts that every user encounters when accessing the World Wide Web. And only then apply the rules of online communication.

Places to chat

There are chat rooms, websites, and forums as platforms for communication and information exchange. There you can ask questions, share your experience and simply communicate with those people who are interesting. It doesn’t matter how far they are from you.

1. The most accessible and easiest place to communicate are forums. This is the name given to highly specialized sites where like-minded people and people with similar interests gather. On the Internet you can find many forums for motorists, young mothers, travelers, webmasters, handicraft enthusiasts, pet owners, and the like. Information is presented in the form of text, pictures and graphics. You can either create a new topic or ask questions in existing threads. And, of course, just chat in the comments.
2. The advantage and main value of chats is communication “here and now”. Many people like live communication, when they can immediately get an answer. Chats can be group or personal.

Naturally, before you start communicating in a chat or on a forum, you should study the rules. Violators are often “banned” - their ability to write in comments is temporarily suspended or they are completely excluded from the community.

Violations and errors

What you can get banned for, which is usually not welcome on forums:

• flood - information that does not provide any benefit or value to the interlocutors. This is the name for messages that are not related to the topic under discussion. A flooder is a user who sends monotonous messages or emoticons to everyone. This irritates other forum participants. In addition, such messages slow down page loading, which creates another annoying factor;
• provocative remarks (flames), which are expressed only to provoke a person into an argument, a showdown. Online flames are generally referred to as insults, personal attacks, gender, religious and other discrimination. You should not react to them, because this will only provoke the flamer to continue a meaningless discussion;
• messages typed using the Caps Lock key are called Caps. Such messages irritate users, as do the large number of emoticons and the tendency to put a lot of exclamation marks all the time.

When contacting users on forums or in private messages, do not commit these violations of communication ethics.

Etiquette rules for using gadgets

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1. Minimize the use of your phone or tablet when communicating with a person in person. You can learn this from those people who are involved in sales. The person with whom the contact is currently taking place is more important than the one who can call or write at this moment.
2. Follow safety precautions. Learn the rules for setting a secure password and setting up two-factor authentication.
3. Do not cause inconvenience to others (sound, vibration, light). According to the standards of business etiquette, it is believed that the phone call should be neutral - preferably the one that is installed by default on the smartphone. But it’s best, of course, to turn off your phone if you’re at work. And remember that if you come to the theater, it is better to turn off the vibration - because in complete silence it can be heard no worse than a loud bell. In a movie theater, always keep the screen brightness to a minimum.

Imagine the situation. You have a business meeting. But at the same time you are waiting for an important call. What are you going to do?

Warn the person who is to call that you will not be able to communicate right now. Or tell the person you are meeting with that you are expecting an important call. It’s the same with Zoom calls: if a dog is tugging at your leg under the table or a child is crawling next to you, and you pretend that nothing is happening, but it’s still noticeable that something is wrong, it’s better to apologize to colleagues and take a break for a few seconds to improve the situation. Speaking out sometimes saves you from many awkward situations.

Is it appropriate to be on your phone at lunch with business partners if you are barely taking part in their conversation?

First of all, it is considered incorrect if there is a mobile phone on the dining table. And not because it's a phone. All things that are not food should not be on the dining table. Glasses, wallet, bag, medicine, comb, etc. - all these items, according to the rules of table etiquette, should not be on the table during lunch.

Conclusion:

do not create inconvenience for others, minimize the use of gadgets during personal communication with a person.

Places for communication

The Internet is a huge, theoretically limitless space. You are free to choose a platform for communication based on your tastes and needs. Thematic forums, dating sites, chats with quick messages are waiting for new users. But rules of conduct and netiquette vary from place to place on the Internet.

Social networks, forums and chats

Social networks (Facebook, Instagram, VKontakte and others) are the most de-anonymized segment of the Internet. Most of their users are registered under real names, and their avatars contain real photographs. This makes you think again before writing something, because the social network is closer to life than an anonymous imageboard or a collective blog. Despite the similarity of general principles, rules of conduct, as well as network etiquette for communicating on social networks, may vary. The administration prescribes them in a special topic.

Forums are intended for a group of people united by a common characteristic. It can be:

1. territorial division (Russian emigrants in Canada, residents of the Orekhovsky residential complex);
2. hobby or profession (programmers, embroiderers, fishing enthusiasts);
3. gender, age, social groups (parents of schoolchildren, pensioners, women).

Chat is the most simplified of platforms. It is designed for exchanging quick messages, so often users of group chats sacrifice everything for speed: capital letters, commas, polite words.

Email

The etiquette of electronic correspondence is closest to the usual rules of personal communication. When sending an email, you need to use capital letters and pay attention to spelling and punctuation (the ideal option is to use literacy testing services). According to online etiquette, it is customary to address someone you don’t know well as “you”.

Netiquette for correspondence has distinctive features:

• at the beginning of the letter you should say hello, if possible addressing the addressee by name;
• at the end of the message you need to sign, indicating your name and additional characteristics if they are important (for example, position);
• Mobile netiquette requires paying attention to how convenient the letter is to read from a portable device.
• It is considered bad form of netiquette to send an unreadable message in which there are no paragraphs and the text is not structured.

Rules for correspondence by email

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1. Try to minimize and shorten the text of the letter. Follow a simple principle: the letter should contain no more and no less information than necessary.
2. Your e-mail should not contain nicknames, pet names, obscene or offensive words. It is not advisable to add the year of birth to your email address.
3. Each letter must contain a subject. If we want to find this letter in a week, month or year, the topic will help a lot. The subject of the letter should be, first of all, informative.
4. Don't confuse the "Reply" and "Reply all" buttons!
5. Correctly sign the transferred files. If this is, for example, an application for leave, name the file “Application for leave of Ivanova MI.” Be sure to include your last name so that your application does not look impersonal in the general flow of documents.
6. Avoid excessive punctuation and excessive formatting so as not to distract attention from the main point.
7. Re-read the letter before sending. It turns out that the thing that irritates people the most when it comes to digital etiquette are mistakes in messages and emails. Check for typos and if T9 has corrected some words.
8. Write from the bottom up. First, attach the file, then write the text of the letter itself, and then enter the sender's name in the address bar.
9. Don't write on emotions. What is written will not disappear and correcting the consequences of emotional writing is much more difficult than words spoken out loud.
10. Remember that any letter may become available to the general public. Perhaps the chain of letters with your participation will be forwarded to someone else or screenshotted.
11. Always address the person exactly as they introduce themselves. Don't call him Dmitry if he introduces himself as Dima.

Formulations with a bad reputation

• “Thank you in advance”
  - the phrase leaves no chance for colleagues - you expect only a positive result from them, without considering other options for the development of events.
• “I heard you”
  is a passive-aggressive formulation.
• “Good day”
  - never greet your colleagues with this phrase.
  This is a colloquial office expression, which, moreover, is used in the wrong context. Write a neutral “Hello”
  ,
  “Good afternoon”
  .
• "URGENTLY!!!"
  - with this phrase you devalue all the work of employees who are now also not sitting idle.
  It’s better to write a specific date and time at which you need to prepare the information: “Please prepare the report before 15:00 on August 5.
  ”

Rules for using messengers

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1. Observe Quiet Hour. Agree with your colleague when you can write to him in the evening hours. If there is no specific agreement with the person, then do not write before 9:00 and later than 22:00.
2. Minimize uninformative messages. Don't ask unnecessary questions, get straight to the point.
3. Send emoticons, GIFs and stickers only if you are sure that you and your interlocutors understand them the same way.
4. Send voice messages only by agreement with the interlocutor. Remember the principle of symmetry that was mentioned above. You can check with your interlocutor whether he has a normal attitude towards voice sounds.
5. Establish rules for group communication. It is important that the administrator monitors order in the chat.

Rules for positioning in social networks

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1. Remember - it is impossible to hide information. Do not publish materials (photos, pictures, texts) that will compromise you.
2. Any information can be used against us.
3. Separate private and public.
4. Re-reading posts through someone else's eyes is a useful exercise that will help you filter content before posting it publicly.
5. First impressions are as important as digital footprints. It takes one and a half seconds to form a first impression of a person in life, but seven seconds to do it on social networks.
6. Check carefully who you add as friends, in what photos you are tagged, check with the groups you join, write carefully information about yourself.
7. Fact checking. Check what you post.

On social networks: etiquette standards

Social media audiences number many millions of people. Popular social networks also have rules of communication. You cannot post other people's photos or videos on your profile without permission. You cannot forward information from private friend profiles to other people.

Adding friends to a group without their permission is considered spam. Spam - advertising messages sent in private messages. There's no point in sending faceless holiday cards to your friends. There is no need to send invitations to strangers to play online games.

You shouldn’t litter someone else’s “wall” with messages and congratulations. The exception is birthday greetings.

On social networks, you should not get carried away with emoticons, hashtags, a lot of selfies and “check-ins” (location tags). Virtual friends don’t really like requests for reposts and “likes.” We must not forget about literacy, because employers often view information on social networks.

Prohibitions include nude photographs, mass following, a huge number of cats and dogs. Also, you cannot register on social networks under someone else’s name, engage in trolling, or publish philosophical statuses daily.