Often women do not know whether they should compliment a man. My answer: it is necessary. It’s worth praising a man even for little things, such as calling a taxi or giving flowers, and for his abilities and skills. This will motivate him to do more. If you want to understand why and how to compliment him correctly, read the article.
Read on, watch the video and you will find out:
- Do men like compliments?
- How to praise a man correctly?
- Mistakes a woman makes when trying to compliment a man
- What to do if your man doesn't like compliments?
- What words are nice for a man to hear?
- Which men are contraindicated from giving compliments?
- What kind of compliments have a destructive effect on a man?
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Do men like compliments?
So, I believe that complimenting men is a must. Complimenting your husband, boyfriend, man is something that most women underestimate in relationships. They rarely say nice things to their partners, and even if they do, they do it wrong.
In no case do I “throw stones at women’s gardens” and do not say: “Oh, how bad you are, you do everything wrong.” My goal is not to criticize you, but to convey information that will be useful for your relationship and help make it better.
What is a compliment? A compliment is a confirmation of the value of the person who is next to you, confirmation of his importance and that this person is loved. Can the phrase “I love you” be a compliment? No, because this is a statement of fact. A compliment expresses a unique feature of a man and emphasizes his positive qualities.
Do men like compliments? Yes. And normal men not only love compliments, but need them, since this is a form of recognition. And for us men, receiving recognition from a woman is a natural necessity.
Rule No. 6. Allow self-realization
Do not try to limit your spouse to the framework you have invented, give him the opportunity to express himself, let his imagination and desire help fulfill your request.
This applies to raising children, cooking dinner, and making important purchases. Do not tug at him with enviable constancy, this will reduce his initiative to nothing. Your task is to inspire him to do this activity, motivate him and give him a little push, and upon completion of the task, be sure to praise your loved one and give him a compliment.
How do men react to compliments?
Consider the following situation. Your man or admirer takes good care of you, like a woman. Is it possible to praise a man for this to confirm the importance of his actions? You can compliment a man by saying: “You are very attentive, I am extremely pleased.”
And, in my understanding, this confirmation encourages a man to do even more for you. Something like this conclusion is formed in his head: “She likes what I do to a woman. She confirms that it is valuable, she rejoices. Great! And if I do this for her, she’ll probably be pleased.”
But there is another type - immature. These are the men who relax after compliments, and the better you treat them, the worse they become. Surely you have encountered similar ones in your life. They behave obnoxiously in relationships. But they suddenly turn silky when they are abandoned. They immediately try to win you back and demonstrate how great they are.
It seems to me that it is impossible to build harmonious relationships with immature men. But if you are attracted to just such people, it means that for now you are at the same level of development as them. And in this case, I think you should hardly be concerned with the question: “How can I compliment this man?”
If you understand that over and over again you attract unworthy and undeveloped men into your life, you should think about it, figure out why this is happening and start changing. I invite you to a five-day author’s course: “Man: honest instructions for use,” where I talk about how the psychology of men works and teach how to create truly happy relationships. To take part in my free online course, register now.
What kind of compliments do men like?
Surely, I will not reveal a secret to you if I say that male psychology is different from female psychology. If we talk about the fair half of humanity, it would be quite reasonable to give compliments that relate to female qualities: appearance, femininity, beauty. At the same time, if a man tells a woman: “You are so purposeful,” she is unlikely to accept this compliment, since it is more a recognition of her business qualities. Although some people will probably like it.
In the case of men, the situation is radically different. I recommend relying on the fact that the best compliment to a man is a compliment to his masculine qualities, and not to his appearance. But if it so happens that you decide to “praise” his appearance, then the right compliments to a man should be associated with masculinity. For example: “I like your broad shoulders.”
If you just tell a man, “You're beautiful,” that's okay too. But if you often compliment his appearance rather than his other qualities, then a bias will arise. A man will understand that he is valuable to you only because he is handsome.
And here I want you to remember, what is the value of a compliment? It's about pushing a man to move further in the right direction. What will a man think who receives compliments from you only about his appearance? It’s unlikely how he can improve himself. Where else can he improve himself if he is already beautiful?
I recommend paying attention to compliments that target masculine qualities. If a man is attentive, purposeful, ambitious or, for example, he has an analytical mind, thanks to which he calculates steps ahead, he will be pleased to hear from you about this.
Be proud of your partner
Even if you didn’t get the most handsome, charming and hardworking man, this is not a reason not to be proud of him. Every person has something they can be proud of. Even a complete slob can have an incredible sense of humor, so why not use this feature to praise your partner? Be sure that after you notice the positive side of the other half, she will want to develop in other areas. However, it is important that your pride is sincere, because if a man recognizes pretense, he is unlikely to like it.
Mistakes a woman makes when trying to compliment a man
What is the most common way of praising a man from a woman? "Well done!" This phrase is usually used by female trainers who teach other women to praise their man. What is the word “well done” associated with? With school. Did you get 5? - "Well done". And immediately a picture appears of a mother praising her son, who is “well done.”
Or, even worse, “You’re smart.” Umnichka is generally feminine! When you tell your man or son: “You are smart,” you are at least calling him feminine. I do not recommend using such phrases in relation to men.
I understand that now some of you may say: “Yaroslav, you are being very picky, these are trifles.” But I think these are not trifles. It is from such “little things” that male perception and self-identification are formed. Do you want to understand what words men like? I will help you with this.
Men love specifics. Words of admiration for a man should sound something like this: “Listen, how purposeful you are! I set a goal and achieved it!” or “You're smart. You said then that it would happen, and that’s how it happened. We did it your way, and it was right, great!” And I repeat once again, the best compliment to a man is a compliment about his masculine qualities.
Do you remember? Then let's move on. If you haven't given compliments before, chances are you'll be at a loss as to what kind of compliment you can give your boyfriend, man, or husband. It will be difficult for you to figure out what words to praise a man with and find new compliments to his masculine qualities.
You may feel a sense of fear: “How will he react? What will he say in response?” My dears, this is quite normal. And here you will either use trial and error to figure out what kind of compliment you can give a man, or you will go to learn this, for example, at “The Way of a Woman.” During the course, we separately analyze examples of compliments to a man and teach how to correctly express words of praise to a man.
Our program has a separate task, thanks to which graduates of “The Way of a Woman” get compliments from their teeth to a man. They feel no embarrassment, shame or fear of evaluation and know exactly what compliments a man needs to give. During the training, a woman can see in practice how cool it is to praise her partners.
Want to know what
the most common mistake women make when giving compliments?
Some of them manage to earn love through compliments. These are the questions I sometimes hear in my Instagram posts: “Yaroslav, I give him 9 compliments a day, but he still doesn’t ask me to marry” or “I gave a man a compliment, but he never gave me a new phone!”
What is the mistake of these women? They don't compliment men from a position of generosity: “You're wearing a compliment because you're cool” or “Oh, you're manly, I admire you.” They compliment a man as if he owes them something for it.
Such women become very disappointed, angry and even offended if the man does not become a superhero towards her in response.
Men do not need compliments from the standpoint of “deserving” love. Either you say phrases of admiration for a man out of generosity, sharing it with him, or you don’t need to say them at all.
Choose a convenient moment
If you just approach a man when he is lying on the couch watching football and say: “Thank you for being there! You are so caring to me,” this will sound at least strange. A man might even think you said it sarcastically and blame him for being lazy. That is why it is so important to choose the right moment for praise, so that your partner does not even doubt that he is truly worthy of a compliment. For example, you can wait for a man to return from work to tell you how hardworking and responsible he is. You'll see, after a while he will really begin to love what he does for a living.
What to do if your man doesn't like compliments?
Most likely, he doesn't like the compliment itself, but the way you give it. 90% of the time, the women who asked me this question are the ones who gave compliments to “earn” love. For them, giving a compliment to their boyfriend is a whole event that involves a response under the flag “you should.” And the man naturally feels this pressure.
But there are another 10% of women who, for unknown reasons, face resistance from a man. How should they be? Let me give you an example.
Imagine that a man comes to the analysis and says: “Yaroslav, I give my wife gifts, but she doesn’t like it. She believes that money should be saved. How can I make her love gifts?”
How will I answer? “Leave her alone. She doesn’t like gifts, there’s no need to give them to her.” The same goes for compliments or gratitude: “Here I thank a man, but he gets angry.” No need to torture him then! Does he not like it when you praise him? Get out of your head the thought of what words to choose to compliment a man.
Why might he not like compliments? Imagine: there once was a boy, he grew up in a dysfunctional family, his mother humiliated him all his life, telling him what a nonentity he was. And then a woman appears in his life who says: “You are good, you are cool, you are courageous, smart, valuable.” Of course, he will be stupefied and rejected. And I believe that there is no need to be angry that a man somehow reacts differently to your compliments.
There are two options here: either give him time to get used to it, or come to terms with the fact that praising the man you love is taboo, since he doesn’t like it so much. Just please, don’t conclude that if your man doesn’t need it, then everyone else shouldn’t give compliments either.
Test the “compliment a man” skill on different people: your friends, colleagues, relatives – and you will see how different the reaction can be. You will see completely different emotions, and only then will you be able to draw an objective conclusion that compliments are a feminine power that you underestimate.
Avoid "vanilla" phrases
Many girls are accustomed to the fact that a good compliment should contain a bunch of metaphors and epithets: “You are as beautiful as a lonely flower in the middle of a clear meadow on a moonlit night.” However, men by nature are more straightforward than the fair sex, so they prefer to receive appropriate praise: “You managed to do so much around the house today—a real master!” However, a lot depends on the character of your partner, so do not forget to take him into account.
Should you compliment cool men?
There is also an opinion that if a man is cool, then he hears compliments from everyone and everyone, so in no case does he need to say them! What does the woman think? “He is such an amazing man! Everyone hangs around him anyway, says nice words, gives him compliments, but I don’t want to be like everyone else.” Once you think this way, you will automatically blend in with everyone because 99% of women think the same thing.
As an example, let’s take famous, sought-after men, the so-called celebrities. Do you think they get compliments often? No. Most often they hear: “You are a great actor.” But this is not about compliments, this is a general word in the style of “well done.” They don’t hear specifics, for example: “I admire you, you came from a small town to New York, Moscow or somewhere else, and built a career! Other men should learn perseverance from you.” Instead, they hear general words: “You're awesome,” “You're amazing,” “You're charming,” “You're handsome,” or something else.
Dear girls, I urge you to be specific. Compare. General phrases: “You’re great”, “You’re cool”, “You’re amazing” - or specifics: “You’re smart, you do this, you think great, that’s why it led to this.” By the way, the compliment “you’re smart” is very universal, because every man considers himself like that. If you tell a man that he is smart, it is better to explain why you think so.
Perhaps now you will say: “Yaroslav, give us 100 templates of what words a man should say so that we don’t strain ourselves and compliment men correctly.” “How to tell a man that he is the best?”, “How to tell a man that he is handsome?” or “What kind words do men like?”
But I don’t want to give you blanks, because every man is unique. It has its own merits. And I would really like you to independently note his best qualities and dress them up as a compliment. And please remember that the best compliments for men are those given sincerely.
I hope this article was helpful to you. I will be glad to receive feedback in the comments and see you in my free online course “Man: Honest Instructions”. Over the course of 5 evenings, we will examine not only the topic “What compliment to give a guy,” but will also consider in as much detail as possible questions about attracting men, creating relationships and their reanimation, love triangles, gifts and achieving women's goals. See you on air!
Rule No. 7. Don't expect instant results
If you want to get more attention and participation in household chores from your husband through praise, then by changing the tactics of your behavior, do not expect that everything will change “one, two, three.”
Remember that your partner is not ready for drastic changes, let everything go as usual, and your praise at the beginning should be appropriate and tactful.
Gradually increasing the number of compliments, you will begin to notice how you yourself have changed and how your chosen one’s attitude towards you has changed.
Healthy?
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