Beware! NLP Changes Not Only Others' Beliefs, But Also Your Own Beliefs!

Undoubtedly, neurolinguistic programming today is one of the most popular and sought-after ways for a person to influence his own personality and those around him.

After all, NLP allows a person to learn to better understand himself and get rid of any negative traits, while at the same time cultivating positive ones; promotes a deeper understanding of those with whom you interact; makes it possible to make the communication process more pleasant and effective, as well as to influence people of completely different categories.

Moreover, knowledge of NLP is successfully applied not only in psychology, psychotherapy and other related sciences. The use of NLP is ideal for ordinary everyday life. And so that anyone can learn this, there are now many options: video and audio materials, Internet resources, trainings and webinars, special training programs, magazines, books, etc.

And, of course, the basis for any training programs and materials is always the theoretical foundations, which contain the bulk of information. But any theory will be of no value if it is not combined with practice, because Only practice develops the skills necessary for the successful application of knowledge.

We devoted this article to the practical side of NLP. In it we will look at some of the best and most popular NLP techniques and techniques. You can master any of these methods sufficiently if you practice regularly in everyday life.

This article briefly examines 14 techniques. If you want to learn about another 72 techniques and learn how to apply such techniques in life, we recommend that you pay attention to our course “The Best Communication Techniques.”

1

"Tricks of Tongue"

In NLP there is a special concept for finding the right focus, which is called framing. Frame (English - frame) - the context of consideration of any thing, with the help of which you can change the shade of perception of this thing. One of the most popular areas of framing is Robert Dilts' Tricks of Language. In an attempt to consider all possible interpretations of the same phenomenon, Dilts found no less than 14 ways to change the focus of our vision:

• 1. Redefinition : replacing one of the words used in the statement of a belief with a new word with a different connotation (for example, a euphemism).
• 2. Analogy : replacing a given phrase with another similar to the given one, but the new phrase should change the meaning of the original judgment.
• 3. Intention : shifting attention to the task or intention hidden behind the belief.
• 4. Counterexample : Finding an exception to the rule behind a belief.
• 5. Model of the world : re-evaluation (or strengthening) of beliefs from the position of another model of the world.
• 6. Metaframe : assessing a belief from a frame of a continuous, person-centered context—creating a belief about a belief.
• 7. Consequences : attention is directed to the consequences of a given belief, allowing it to change or strengthen the belief.
• 8. Another result : switching to a goal different from the one stated in the belief in order to shake or strengthen the foundations of the belief.
• 9. Chunkdown : changing or strengthening a generalization defined by a belief by breaking up the elements of a belief into smaller parts.
• 10. “Generalization” (English chunkup) : generalization of part of a belief to a higher level, allowing you to change or strengthen the relationships defined by this belief.
• 11. Frame resizing : re-evaluating (or amplifying) the subtext of a belief in the context of a longer (or shorter) time frame, from the point of view of more people (or an individual), from a wider or narrower perspective.
• 12. Hierarchy of criteria : revaluation (or strengthening) of a belief according to a criterion that is superior in importance to any of those on which the belief is based.
• 13. Reality strategy : revaluation (or strengthening) of a belief based on the fact that beliefs are created through the cognitive process of perceiving the world.
• 14. Application to oneself : evaluation of the very formulation of a belief according to the relationship or criteria determined by this belief.

We suggest you practice using this technique on the simulator below. To make it clearer to you how this technique works, first select “Rate” and see how other users completed the task.

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NLP techniques that produce results

After mastering the theory, you can move on to practice. Recommended techniques for beginners that, when used correctly, work flawlessly:

• mirroring (exact repetition of movements, facial expressions, poses, intonations of the interlocutor);
• rapport through the pronoun “we”;
• three "yes";
• pattern break;
• switching attention;
• reframing;
• anchoring;
• thought virus;
• adjustment, etc.

It remains to be seen how exactly each technology from this list works in specific situations.

Change of submodalities

Submodalities are those elements that make up a holistic picture of our perception of the surrounding reality. With the help of them our attitude towards everything is encoded. The technique of changing submodalities allows us to change our attitude towards something, and we can influence not only the strength of the experiences we experience, but also transform their assessment and subsequent sensations. In addition, this technique is also suitable for changing the assessment of some situation that happened a long time ago, developing motivation, changing attitudes towards another person, etc.

As a rule, the scheme of this technique is always approximately the same: you need to take a situation (person) towards which you need to change your attitude, and a situation (person) in relation to which you experience, on the contrary, positive emotions. Then you need to find several differences between these situations (people) and their submodalities, and replace the submodalities of the first situation with the submodalities of the second. After this, a check is made: if the situation has changed in the desired direction, then the replacement was successful; if not, then you need to return to the previous step and work it out again.

You can learn more about the technique of changing submodalities here.

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"Categorization"

These beliefs describe what is what, what belongs to what category. That is, for which “things” which rules are fulfilled (or not fulfilled).

Actually, all statements like “I am a genius”, “she is beautiful”, “all cats are cute”, “I don’t like blondes”, “I like burritos” are beliefs about attitude to the category. That is, a person places himself in the “genius” category, “her” in the “beauty” category, and blondes in the “don’t like” category. As you can imagine, all identity beliefs are of this type: “I am a genius,” “he is an idiot,” “I am a motorcycle racer.”

— Petrov is a successful businessman. [“Petrov” is included in the category of “successful businessmen”]

— Mercedes produces good cars. [cars falling into the “good cars” category]

- I don't deserve happiness. [“I” do not fall into the “deserving of happiness” category]

— Health is important. ["Health" is included in the "important" category]

The full form for this type of belief must include a rationale for why “A is in category B”—usually a statement of satisfaction of the criterion: “Petrov is a successful businessman because he has a million-dollar net worth.”

Identity

The most important among this type of beliefs would be the identity beliefs : “I am a good swimmer.”

Please note that if a person has assigned himself to a category (identity), then formally all beliefs about this value must be fulfilled:

— I am a good swimmer because I trained a lot. [cause]

— I am a good swimmer, so I am invited to important competitions. [consequence]

— I am a good swimmer, because I can swim a hundred meters and not get out of breath. [criteria]

— I am a good swimmer, which means that I swim better than most other people. [definition] But in reality, things are often not quite like that - and this can be used to change or strengthen a belief.

Model of correct goal setting “SMARTEF”

A huge role in the process of achieving goals is played by the ability to correctly formulate and determine the desired result. Simply put, in order to change anything in life, you need to have a clear idea of ​​what you specifically want. It is the SMARTEF technique that helps to determine and formulate the result properly. Compliance of a goal with SMARTEF criteria greatly increases the likelihood of its implementation. The goal should be:

• Specific (you must take into account all the details);
• Measurable (you must be clearly aware of all the indicators of the moment when the goal is achieved);
• Attractive (the goal must correspond to your beliefs and values, motivate you);
• Realistic (you must know for sure that the goal is achievable and what you will need to achieve it);
• Time-bound (you must clearly set a time frame for achieving the goal);
• Environmental friendliness (you must consider your goal in global terms, and also realize the secondary benefits of achieving/not achieving it);
• Positive wording in the present tense (when setting a goal, you must take into account special wording parameters).

We have already touched on the SMARTEF technique in our lesson “Anchoring, Performance and State Management”. If you wish, you can return to it or study the method in more detail here.

4

Walt Disney's Creative Strategy

This technique is based on the many years of experience of the American animator and film director Walt Disney in the fields of business and creativity. The essence of his strategy is the ability to approach any issue from three different positions: a dreamer, a realist and a critic. This approach itself was called “imagining” by the author. Each of the three components makes its contribution to the search for an effective solution to any issue.

The main function of the dreamer manifests itself at the initial stage, when new goals and ideas are just being formed, and is focused on the future. The dreamer must help the person see how all the components of his plan fit together. The function of a realist is expressed in the search for tools suitable for the implementation of the intended plan, so that an abstract idea can take shape into something concrete. A realist helps a person move from thought process to action.

A critic, in turn, is needed to evaluate the emerging idea or planned plan to achieve a goal from a critical perspective. The critic is called upon to help a person find weak points in his plan, to try to identify potential problems or points that might have been missed. The critic also draws a person’s attention to such things as the environmental friendliness of the plan, its realism, secondary benefits, etc.

Approaching any task using Walt Disney's creative strategy greatly increases a person's effectiveness and personal productivity. You can learn more about this strategy here.

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The best books on NLP

1. Balyko D. Zapretov.net. 40 NLP rules for living a high life.
2. Bandler R., Grinder D. From frogs to princes. Neuro-linguistic programming.
3. Bandler R., Grinder D. Reframing: personality orientation using speech strategies.
4. Berger E. NLP for happy love. 11 techniques that will help you fall in love, seduce, marry anyone.
5. Beaver D. How to quickly absorb a large amount of knowledge. Let's learn without pain. The latest NLP methods.
6. Bodenhamer B., Hall M. NLP practitioner. Full certified course.
7. Davydova I. NLP for business and life. The art of hypnotic persuasion.
8. J. O'Connor. NLP. A practical guide to achieving the results you want.
9. Dilts R. Modeling using NLP.
10. Pligin A. How to turn the ghost of failure into the aroma of success in life.

Before using NLP to influence other people, check how the technique works for yourself. You should start by changing your own life for the better, creating an ideal “I-image”, and then experiment in society.

Working with logical levels

According to the results of research by one of the first developers of NLP, Robert Dilts, there are several levels of a person’s perception of reality and how he lives it. They are all parallel to each other and closely interconnected. It is very useful for a person to become aware of what is happening at all these levels, because it affects any aspect of life: decision-making, relationship formation, sensations and well-being, and even current events.

It is also important to know that logical levels are subject to a specific structure. Firstly, the Higher levels cannot exist without the Lower ones, because is realized through them, and secondly, the Lower levels depend on the Higher ones and obey them.

Usually a person forms his goals and realizes problems at the Lower levels and therefore one can begin to work with them at these levels. But, taking into account the above-mentioned patterns, goals and problems should be worked out at the Highest levels, because The best way to find a solution to any problem is to find its roots and deal with them directly.

Working with logical levels is an extremely effective technique for interacting with your goals and inducing life changes. Absolutely everything that a person desires must be in agreement with his Higher levels, i.e. consistent with beliefs, values ​​and worldview. Working through problems at the Highest levels helps to identify the necessary resources and increase their energy potential.

You can find out more information about working with logical levels at this link, and here you can listen to an audiobook on this topic.

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What it is

NLP is a direction in psychotherapy and practical psychology that uses verbal and non-verbal behavior of a person in order to achieve the desired result from him. For example, with the help of neurolinguistic programming, parents can teach their child order or punctuality, teachers can improve the learning efficiency of pupils and students, managers can force the buyer to purchase a product. In this case, forms of speech, eye movements, body postures, and memory are used.

NLP was developed back in the mid-twentieth century by J. Grinder and R. Bandler, but it has gained maximum popularity in our days. Officially, this direction is recognized as parascientific, since the effectiveness of the techniques, firstly, has not been proven, and secondly, is not always ethical from a moral point of view.

Many scientists believe that NLP is nothing more than the art of manipulating people through their own behavior.

"Swing"

The presented technique serves to change, within a short time, a person’s destructive type of response to something and replace it with a more constructive one. But the result of this technique is not only a change in the type of reaction, but also the establishment of a positive and productive self-image in a person. “The Swing” can be used in many areas of life, from eliminating bad habits to correcting problematic behavior.

The structure of the “Swing” technique is as follows: first, the context is determined, i.e. a situation to which one would like to change the reaction. Then you need to identify the triggering factors, i.e. those factors that cause the desire to react in a habitual way. This point is the most important, because often the person may not even be aware of it. Determination of trigger factors also occurs according to a certain method.

After this, you need to create an image of the state you want to achieve. Most often this is done using the third perceptual position. The next stage is the “swing” that needs to be performed. It means a very quick replacement of one picture with another (an unwanted image with a desirable one). After the “swing” is completed, you need to check the new state and adjust to the future.

The Swing technique requires more detailed study (this can be done here) and training.

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How to correctly translate and interpret belief

Let's start with the roots. Early translators started a vicious tradition by translating the original English term "belief" into "belief." The most important complaint is that this word is literally translated as “belief” (from the English verb believe - to believe), in order to translate “beliefs” as “beliefs” in the plural.

Where does this requirement for literal accuracy in translation come from? The creators of NLP tell us about the importance of observing literalism in the mouth of the speaker and literal perception in his interlocutor from the pages of each of their books - starting with “The Structure of Magic” and ending with Bandler’s latest book “Richard Bandler’s Guide to Trance–formations.” And Steve Andreas speaks about the chronic lack of a shared base of terms and concepts.

New behavior generator

This technique, similar to the previous one, is designed to help a person change automatic reactions to manifestations of external reality, thereby saving him from many unnecessary problems. Thanks to it, a person’s self-confidence increases, reactions change and positive changes occur in life.

Successful application of this technique involves going through several stages. First you need to identify the situation that needs to be worked out and live it, imagining it in your mind in the smallest detail. Next, you need to imagine the same situation in the form of a film made about you, and feel the emotions that it evokes.

After this, you need to imagine yourself as a cinema operator who puts a film on the projector with a film about you for himself, sitting in the hall. Then you need to imagine yourself as a director and realize the possibility of changing the script; come up with several new options and choose the most suitable one.

The new stage implies that you are again a cinema operator, putting on a new film for yourself, sitting in the cinema hall. Then you imagine yourself sitting in the hall and watching a new film with your participation. As a result, you must imagine yourself as the hero of a new film and live a new situation, imagining it in all details in your imagination and realizing your emotions. It is important that you are satisfied with the new result. If it does not satisfy you, then you should return to the previous points and work through them again.

The result should be the emergence of a new response pattern, but one that will be beneficial. You need to consolidate it by replaying the situation several times, using new reactions. You can learn more about how to do all this on this page.

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1 LANGUAGE AND EXPERIENCE

The magic of language

At the heart of Tongue Tricks is the magical power of words. Language is one of the key components from which we build our internal models of the world. It can have a huge impact on how we perceive and respond to reality. The gift of speech is a unique human asset. It is generally accepted that this is one of the main factors that contributed to the separation of people from other living beings. The eminent psychiatrist Sigmund Freud, for example, believed that words are the basic instrument of human consciousness and, as such, are endowed with special power. He wrote:

Words and magic were originally one, and even today much of the magical power of words has not been lost. With the help of words, a person can give another the greatest happiness or plunge him into despair; with the help of words, the teacher conveys his knowledge to the student; With the help of words, the speaker captivates the audience and predetermines their judgments and decisions. Words evoke emotions and are generally the means by which we influence our fellow human beings.

The Tricks of Language patterns were created by exploring how the skillful use of language allows us to influence other people. Let's give a few examples.

• A policewoman receives an urgent call to one of the houses on her precinct regarding a domestic dispute with elements of violence. She is alarmed because she knows that it is in such situations that her health is most at risk - no one, especially people prone to violence and outbursts of anger, likes it when the police interfere in their family affairs. Approaching the house, the police officer hears a loud scream of a man, the characteristic sounds of breaking objects, and the frightened screams of a woman. Suddenly, the TV flies out of the window and breaks into pieces right at the feet of the policeman. She runs up to the door and bangs on it with all her might. From inside comes the voice of an angry man: “Who else has the devil brought there?” The woman’s gaze falls on the remains of a broken TV, and she blurts out: “The master from the TV studio.” For a moment there is dead silence in the house, and then the man begins to laugh. He opens the door, and now the policeman can safely enter the house without fear of any violence. Subsequently, she says that these few words helped her no less than months of training in hand-to-hand combat.

• A young man ends up in a psychiatric clinic, convinced that he is Jesus Christ. All day long he wanders around the ward with nothing to do and reads sermons to other patients who do not pay any attention to him. Doctors and attendants are unable to convince the young man to give up his illusion. One day a new psychiatrist comes to the clinic. After observing the patient, he decides to talk to him. “I take it you have experience in carpentry?” - says the doctor. “Well... in general, yes...” the patient answers. The psychiatrist explains to him that a new lounge is being built at the clinic and a person with carpenter skills is needed for this. “We would be very grateful for your help,” says the doctor, “if you are, of course, the type of person who likes to help others.” Unable to refuse, the patient accepts the offer. Participation in the project helps him make friends with other patients and workers and learn to build normal relationships with people. Over time, the young man leaves the clinic and gets a permanent job.

• A woman regains consciousness in a hospital recovery room. The surgeon visits her. Still weak from the anesthesia, the woman anxiously asks how the operation went. The surgeon replies: “I'm afraid I have bad news for you. The tumor we removed was malignant." The woman, whose worst fears have been confirmed, asks: “So what now?”, to which the doctor replies: “Well, there is good news: we removed the tumor as thoroughly as possible... And the rest is up to you.” Inspired by the words “the rest is up to you,” the woman seriously thinks about her lifestyle and possible alternatives, changes her diet, and begins to exercise regularly. Realizing how dysfunctional and stressful her life was in the years before the operation, she embarks on a path of personal development, defining her beliefs, values ​​and meaning in life. Things are getting better, and after a few years the woman feels happy, cancer-free and healthier than ever.

• A young man drives a car on a slippery winter road. He returns from a party where he drank several glasses of wine. Around one of the turns, a man suddenly appears in front of him, crossing the road. The driver presses the brakes, but the car skids and the pedestrian falls under the wheels. For a long time after the incident, the young man cannot come to his senses, paralyzed by his own experiences. He knows that he took a man's life and caused irreparable damage to his family. He understands that the accident was his fault: if he had not drunk so much, he would have seen the pedestrian earlier and could have reacted faster and more adequately. Sinking deeper and deeper into depression, the young man decides to commit suicide. At this time, his uncle comes to visit him. Seeing his nephew’s despair, his uncle sits next to him in silence for a while, and then, placing his hands on his shoulders, says simple and truthful words: “Wherever we are, we are all walking on the edge of an abyss.” And the young man feels that some kind of light has appeared in his life. He completely changes his lifestyle, begins studying psychology and becomes a counseling therapist to work with the unfortunate victims of drunk drivers, alcoholics and people arrested for drunk driving. He gives many clients the opportunity to heal and improve their lives.

• The girl is going to college. Of all the options, she would prefer to apply to business school at one of the most prestigious universities in the area. However, the competition seems so great to her that she has no chance of being accepted. In an effort to “get realistic” and avoid disappointment, she plans to apply to one of the “easier” schools. Filling out the application form for admission, the girl explains her choice to her mother: “I’m sure that the university will simply be inundated with applications.” To this the mother replies: “There is always a place for a good person.” The simple truth of these words inspires the girl to apply to a prestigious university. To her surprise and delight, she is accepted and eventually becomes an extremely successful business consultant.

• A boy is trying to learn to play baseball. He dreams of being on the same team as his friends, but he cannot throw or catch and is generally afraid of the ball. The more he trains, the more discouraged he becomes. He tells the coach that he intends to quit the sport because he turned out to be a “bad player.” The coach replies: “There are no bad players, there are just those who are not confident in their abilities.” He stands opposite the boy and hands him the ball so that he passes it back. The coach then takes one step back and lightly throws the ball into the player's glove, forcing him to return the pass. Step by step, the coach moves further away until the boy finds himself throwing and receiving the ball from a great distance with ease. With a sense of self-confidence, the boy returns to training and over time becomes a valuable player for his team.

All these examples have one thing in common: just a few words change a person’s life for the better by shifting their limited beliefs towards a perspective with more alternatives. In these examples, we see how the right words, spoken at the right moment, can produce significant positive results.

Unfortunately, words not only empower us, but they also mislead and limit our capabilities. Wrong words spoken at the wrong time can cause considerable harm and pain.

This book talks about the benefits and harms of words, how to determine the effect your words will have, and language patterns that allow you to turn harmful statements into useful ones. The term "tricks of the tongue" ( sleight of mouth

) reflects the similarity of these patterns to card tricks.
sleight
itself comes from an Old Norse word meaning “skillful,” “cunning,” “skillful,” or “agile.”
The expression sleight of hand
in English refers to a type of card trick that can be characterized by the phrase: “Here is your card, but now it’s gone.” For example, you cover the deck with the Ace of Spades, but when the magician takes that card, the Ace of Spades "turns" into the Queen of Hearts. Verbal patterns of "Tricks of Language" have similar "magical" properties, since they often entail significant changes in perception and the assumptions on which this perception is based.

Six-Step Reframing

Many of us are familiar with the situation when certain problems are not solved for a very, very long time, and we cannot understand the reason for this. The fact is that this is hindered by our own subconscious, which for some reason seems to think that the way it is now is best. The six-step reframing technique is very suitable for changing the mood of your subconscious.

It is based on a special meditative state, in which the subconscious is most receptive to incoming information, whereas in the normal state its access is blocked by various subpersonalities (see here).

The six-step reframing scheme is quite simple:

1. First step. You need to lie on the floor and relax, alternately tensing and relaxing all the muscles of the body, after which you just lie there for about five minutes, focusing on breathing.
2. Second step. Visualization of a large white screen.
3. Third step. Once the screen is presented, you need to ask your subconscious mind whether it is ready to cooperate. The answer should appear on the screen.
4. Fourth step. If the answer is yes, then you can ask the subconscious any questions, the form of which should imply simple answers (yes/no).
5. Fifth step. In the process of interacting with the subconscious, you need to find out from it what benefits it derives from the current problematic situation, and turn to the creative component of your personality with a request to find a more suitable way to satisfy this need.
6. Sixth step. You should relax, allowing the subconscious to process the information, slowly count from one to ten and stand up. Reframing is over.

The use of six-step reframing helps to effectively solve many problems. It is best, of course, to be under hypnosis while using it, for which you can seek the services of a specialist. But you can use it yourself. You can study the features of this technique in more detail here. You can also watch an interesting video on this topic.

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Practical application of the difference between “believing” and “being convinced”

Of course, these processes are related and can be transformed into one another. The only question that arises is: what is the purpose of this transformation, and how environmentally friendly it is for the client. However, at the process level this is not impossible.

The transformation of “belief” into “belief” or vice versa (in NLP language - installation of a linguistic model) can be performed both with an explicit explanation of the explicit difference between these processes, and without explanation. There are only basic recommendations:

A). refer to the fact that language reflects the subjective reality for the vast majority of representatives of their culture, i.e. the culture contained in the language contains, to a certain extent, a “map” shared by all. b). work on “living material”, look for examples from life in the experience of your interlocutor that exactly fit the description of the processes of “belief” and “conviction”.

I propose to consider very general algorithms for converting “beliefs” into “conviction” and vice versa.

Reframing “belief to belief” 1. Appeal to a person’s experience (experienced directly or transmitted through another source) that confirms a specific belief. 2. Reframing counterexamples that may cause incongruences. 3. Transformation of the process of “being convinced” into the nominalization “belief”.

Reframing “conviction in faith” 1. Denominalization (you have a conviction, that is, you are convinced ...?) 2. Return of the referential index (were convinced by whom/what?) 3. Return to a state when a person had no experience, confirming this generalization.

Changing your personal history

The technique of changing personal history is used, as a rule, in cases where the behavior that needs to be changed is associated with some events that took place in the past, and is based on connections between the present and the past. Its use allows you to get rid of unnecessary and limiting beliefs, stereotypes, habits, attitudes, methods of response, etc.

The essence of the method is as follows. You need to identify a problem situation or an undesirable state and set an anchor on it. The established anchor must be used to guide the person (or oneself) to the very moment when the problematic situation or experience first appeared, and whenever they are discovered, the context of what happened must be taken into account.

After several (4-5) similar situations or experiences have been found, you need to lower the anchor and return to the very first situation, determine the resources that were required to overcome it, and find the triggering factors. Next, you need to find access to the found resource and anchor it, return to the earlier situation and change its perception, using an existing resource (collapsing anchors are great for this.

After all that has been done, you need to dissociate from new experiences and evaluate the result obtained. If it does not meet the requirements, then you should return to the previous stage of identifying resources and work it out again. Then you need to consolidate the result and carry out an environmental check and synchronize with the future.

You can learn more about how all this is done here.

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Robert Dilts, Changing Beliefs Using NLP

Our beliefs are a very powerful force that determines our lives. The experience of many generations proves: if someone is convinced that he can, will do, will overcome, he will definitely succeed. And vice versa. Most people recognize that their beliefs can directly or indirectly affect their health. People professionally involved in health care confirm that for a patient to recover, he must really want it.

Is it possible to change beliefs - reject old ones and accept new ones? How to do it? Neuro-linguistic programming has armed us with effective techniques that allow us to understand the hidden mechanisms of action of beliefs and their systems, and then change them for the benefit of ourselves and others.

For psychologists, psychotherapists, psychology students, as well as anyone interested in the world of NLP.

"PLANET OF HUMANS" BY ROBERT DILTS

“In everything I want to get to the very essence...”

Boris Pasternak

The world of NLP, so united and understandable in its unity at the moment of its emergence, split into islands, states, maps and territories. Along with John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Leslie Cameron-Bandler and Judith Delozier, perhaps one of the most famous island names is that of Robert Dilts.

Having started as a student and colleague, he built a slightly different, “his own” NLP. And if we briefly describe “NLP according to Dilts,” it is, first of all, an approach that pays great attention to answering the questions “why?” and “who am I?”

When you ask the question “why?”, you will hear the person’s conviction in response. About who he is, what happens and what doesn’t happen in the world, what is good or bad, right or wrong, possible or impossible, and much more. This is what helps us navigate the world, choose paths, act and get confused in our actions...

This is the very “essence”... And, probably, the hope and desire to reach it are a little naive and doomed in advance... Although, reading the book, you discover that even just moving in search of these answers, you can learn and change a lot, help yourself and your family and clients. It describes techniques, cases from practice and, in addition, by reading it, you can learn a lot about the author, who is very sincere.

“Beliefs” by R. Dilts marks a change in the period of development of NLP, which once rejected other methods of psychotherapy, to a stage in which NLP seeks similarities and recognizes itself as a member of the family, where it is possible to learn from elders without giving up its uniqueness and originality.

NLP is no longer a three-minute problem-solving method. By removing this limitation, the book opens up many new, interesting and alluring roads.

This is probably especially true for the Russian reader, for whom the magic of the first years of acquaintance with NLP may have begun to fade a little when meeting a neurotic person who has no intention of being cured in one session.

The heroes of the book are, first of all, clients: “ordinary neurotics” and “schizophrenics”, whom Dilts never diagnoses, but simply helps to unravel a tangle of problems. These are the author’s relatives and friends - his father, dying and at the same time conquering death, a mother who trusts her son to become her psychotherapist and changes her family scenario, a cancer patient, God and the Man who decided to understand his Divine plan - Einstein.

In the book, which begins with gratitude to teachers and colleagues and ends with gratitude to listeners and readers, there is a lot of hope, humility and love... And at the same time, its language is dry and “technical”, and it is so easy to stumble when reading “imprint”, “representation”, “anchoring” ", "kinesthetics", etc. It seems to me that for the author there is no contradiction between algebra and harmony. The impersonality of schemes and formulas never acquires separate power. It exists only “for”, only “in application to”... It reminds me of a doctor’s conversation at the patient’s bedside about such unpoetic things as pulse, respiration, white blood cell count. And at the same time a kind, warm, attentive, supportive look.

Having visited Robert Dilts’s “planet of people”, you may want to visit him again - his three-volume book “Strategies of Geniuses” will soon be released in our publishing house. Just don't go to visit empty-handed. To your questions “why?” and who?" will be very happy.

Elena Wil-Williams

With the deepest respect, this book is dedicated to the people of Eastern Europe who have shown the world the true power and power of genuine change of belief.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

There are several elements on which the process of creating and developing any approach, technique, idea or entire theory is based. First of all, there are always two sides to creativity: conceptual and operational. The conceptual elements serve as the theoretical foundation. Operational staff should help put what has been created into practice.

There are fundamental fundamental roles in conceptual and operational development. The role of the creator is the starting point in development. Also important are the conceptual and operational origins, the contributions of others, and the role of followers and those involved in further developing the approach, adapting it, and refining the material.

During the development of the material described in this book, I received the support of many people to whom I would like to express my gratitude.

Reimprinting techniques have their own conceptual and operational background. Conceptually, the concept of reimprinting is largely based on the developments of the concept of imprinting by Konrad Lorenz, expanded to the concept of reimprinting by Timothy Leary. It is impossible not to note the contribution to this concept of the ideas of Sigmund Freud, expressed in his work “Study of Hysteria,” as well as the works of the famous family therapist Virginia Satir. Operationally, reimprinting as a technique is related to the technique of changing personal history, which was proposed by the creators of NLP Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

The technique of turning failure into feedback using eye access keys and thinking strategies was developed by me and my colleagues at the very beginning of the development of NLP and is described in the first volume of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. This technique was largely influenced by the work of Max Wertmeyer and his fellow Gestalt psychologists.

The development of belief integration techniques is largely associated with a combination of techniques for reconciling conflicting parts and reframing. Conceptually, they are greatly influenced by the works of Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir.

The fundamental concept of the idea of ​​logical levels and belief change is formulated by Gregory Bateson in his work on systems studies and schizophrenia. I received great inspiration in further developing this idea from the work and observation of Milton Erickson's practice.

The spatial application of the timeline technique was developed in the Syntax workshop series we conducted with John Grinder. At these seminars we observed the positive effect of using the techniques of changing perceptual positions and Meta-mirror.

I received tremendous support from my colleague Todd Epstein, who was the first to “test” my inventions and gave me feedback as he delved into my ideas.

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Louise Beller for preparing the manuscript for this book, and to Alan Monart and Anne Pierred, who sponsored the workshops on which this book is based.

INTRODUCTION

Our beliefs have a huge influence on our behavior. It is generally accepted that if a person truly believes that he can do something, then he will definitely do it. But if he is convinced of the impossibility of this, no force is enough to convince him of the opposite. Beliefs such as “It’s too late”, “There’s nothing to be done, I’m powerless here”, “I’m a victim of circumstances”, “Since it fell to my lot, there’s no escape” - can often be a stumbling block that does not allow a person to fully utilize the full potential of your natural resources and unconscious competence. Our beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities in the world around us invariably and significantly influence our daily activities. Everyone has beliefs that serve as a resource, and along with this, beliefs that hold back movement forward.

Most people recognize, for example, that their belief system can influence their health both directly and indirectly. Most often, it is not difficult to identify negative beliefs that lead to such unpleasant consequences for general health as the development of bad habits, increased fatigue, weakening of the body’s immune system and stressful conditions. How, then, should one proceed in order to replace negative beliefs with beliefs that have a beneficial effect on a person’s overall health?

Almost everyone who is professionally involved in the care of human health recognizes that the general morale of the patient is the most influential factor in the process of recovery. Yet there are a very limited number of solid or reliable methods that can help a person overcome overwhelming fear or apathy and achieve a congruent “positive state of mind.”

Throughout the history of medical research, it has been repeatedly proven that drugs that have only a placebo effect can be as effective as the most powerful drugs. However, the reason for this phenomenon still remained a mystery. Many researchers even believe that a “reverse placebo effect” is possible, leading to the occurrence of many diseases. But is it possible to directly resort to this source of vital force and turn it to the benefit of a person seeking healing?

Even the beliefs that other people have about us can have an effect on us. This was demonstrated in one very original study, in which a group of children with an intelligence level certified as average were completely randomly divided into two equal subgroups. One of them was entrusted to one teacher as a group of “gifted” children. The second - to another teacher, but as a group of “lagging behind”. A year later, both subgroups were again certified for their level of mental development. And it is not at all surprising that the majority of children randomly classified as “gifted” scored much higher than on the previous assessment, while the majority of those identified as “underachieving” scored significantly lower! Teachers' beliefs about their students' abilities influenced their students' learning performance.

Our beliefs can shape, change, and even determine our level of intelligence, health, social connections, creativity, and even the degree of personal happiness and success in life. Moreover, if beliefs are indeed such a powerful factor in our lives, how can we learn to manage them so that they do not begin to control us? Many of our beliefs were learned as children from our parents, teachers, social environment, and the media before we could understand their influence or make our own choices. Is it possible to rebuild, change, or unlearn our old limiting beliefs and embrace others that can take us beyond our old limitations into new orbits beyond our wildest dreams? And if this is possible, then how can we make it happen?

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) provides us with a very powerful and promising model of the mind and a set of behavioral tools that can “unlock” some of the hidden mechanisms underlying beliefs and belief systems. With the help of NLP, beliefs - and along with it, both the neuro-linguistic and physical elements that influence these beliefs - can be studied and influenced in a completely understandable and practically useful way.

This book is the result of my own research, using NLP tools, into the deep internal processes underlying beliefs. The book is largely based on seminar notes on belief change. Through it, I hope to share with readers and capture the feelings and discoveries I have made while actually working with people and their beliefs.

THE NATURE OF BELIEF

The brain, like essentially any biological and social system, has a multi-level organization and several levels of information processing, as a result of which we are able to reach different levels of thinking and being. Trying to create a model for understanding activity

brain or behavioral changes, we turn to these levels - as if we wanted to understand the structure of any individual business system of a bank, enterprise, firm, etc.), in which there are different levels of organization.

From a psychological point of view, we can talk about five main levels.

The basic level is our external environment, our external limiting factors.

We interact with the external environment through our behavior.

Our behavior is guided by our model of the world and our strategies, which determine our abilities.

These abilities are organized through belief systems, which are the immediate subject of this study.

Beliefs themselves are organized through identity.

Thus, when a person experiences any difficulty, we must determine whether the difficulty comes from the external context or whether the reason is that the person does not have the special type of behavior to cope with the context. Or is it because he has not developed a suitable strategy or model of the world to develop this behavior? Is this because he lacks a belief or has a conflicting belief that affects his life in general or the achievement of a specific result? And finally, is the cause of the difficulty related to the level of identity affecting the entire system?

These are all important distinctions that are useful to anyone working in the areas of learning, communication, or improvement.

EXAMPLES OF LOGICAL LEVELS

Logical levels of an individual

Let's say that a child is having difficulty during an exam. The teacher may tell him: “It’s not your fault at all. Probably the noise in the class or something else distracted you while taking the exam.”

In other words, the whole problem is in the external environment and has nothing to do with you personally. Of course, with this formulation of the question, the contribution of the student himself is minimal.

By focusing on behavior, the teacher might say, “You did poorly on this exam.” In this case, the student becomes responsible for the outcome of the process.

Operating at the level of ability, the teacher can say: “This subject is bad for you, your mathematical abilities (ability for language, literature, history, etc.) are not well developed.” This is the broader meaning of a particular exam failure.

At the value level, the teacher might say, “Well, in general it’s not that important. The main thing is that you enjoy learning."

The teacher reinforces the belief that getting good grades is not so important, the main thing is to enjoy studying. In this case, we jump to the level of beliefs. This goes beyond the scope of a single subject and applies to the learning process as a whole.

At the level of identity, the teacher can say: “And you are a useless student, however”; or “You are not capable of learning”; or “Yes, you are not Lobachevsky.” This affects the whole being of the child.

The level of identity is different from the level of ability. It’s one thing to consider yourself incapable of any one subject, and quite another to consider yourself a complete dumbass.

These examples clearly demonstrate the type of impact messages expressed at different levels can have. There is a big difference between a person saying: “If I drink, I am unable to control myself” and the statement: “I am a bitter drunkard and will remain so forever.”

If I accept something as part of my identity, then that something begins to have a profound influence on me.

Logical levels of the company

The levels that work for an individual will also hold true for organizations and groups.

Here's just one example. In the early 1980s, John Grinder, Richard Bandler, and I did a number of consultations. If we imagine the identity and meta-program of Xerox (see the list of meta-program components in Appendix 1), then it can be expressed in the words: “How can I make a better copy?”

This corresponds to a positive past: the company makes photocopiers.

However, she also had problems. One of the employees of the research sector visited the central office of the Los Angeles Times newspaper and discovered that it was completely missing paper. At the largest newspaper, everyone worked on computers and used email.

As a result, I began to do something unusual for myself: I tried to look into the future and began to look for correspondence with the negative in the future: what would you order a company to do that earns its income at the expense of those who need to make copies, and in ten years there will be no paper left in the offices?

Thus, she began to act based on the “negative future” and decided to switch to personal computers.

But the problem is that when we hear the word “Xerox,” we imagine copying machines, and not personal computers. The company tried to develop computers, but computers did not fit into its identity; They did not fit into the belief system or even the current capabilities of the corporation. The company was capable of conducting research and new developments, but not in the field of personal computers.

We explained to the company that it was about to take too big a leap because it was about creating an almost new self, and this inevitably leads to conflict - with the old identity and old values. This is exactly what happened with Xerox - the company released its own computer, but few people know about it.

How this all happened is quite interesting, since the situation visibly demonstrated how strong these levels of meta-program beliefs and identity are and how they manifest themselves in companies.

Here are just two examples:

1. For the presentation to company employees of this personal computer, it was decided to dress up someone as the inventor of the first Xerox copying machine, who had been dead for fifteen years, and “raising him from the dead” gave the whole event a certain touch of remembrance of the dead. He presented the computer as the latest and greatest from Xerox, saying, "It's an improved version of what I was trying to do."

2. The main character in the advertisement for this computer was a monk! Agree that the image of a monk somehow does not fit well with high technology. What can a monk do? Among other things, he rewrites manuscripts. Thus, Xerox was trapped in its metaprogram because no one noticed in time that it did not correspond to the external environment into which the company was trying to penetrate.

The new direction began with an idea at the level of research and development capabilities and at first it did not inspire fear in anyone, like some small undertaking in a research center. Many of his employees were in the habit of wearing jeans and long hair, because in those days, especially in research circles, it was generally accepted that anyone who did not have long hair and a beard was unlikely to be fully aware of what he was doing. And if he shaved clean and wore a tie, then his ability to work with computers was in great doubt.

The more Xerox invested in this area, taking a negative-future approach, the more it was promoted that it was necessary for the survival of the company as a whole, and the more efforts were made to make it part of the company's identity.

As this trend gained momentum, research center employees were encouraged to cut their hair, shave their beards, and tie their ties in order to fit in with the overall look (“identity”) of the company.

It turned out that the researchers, in their meta-programs, did not correspond to the present, which they neglected in favor of the prospect of corresponding to the positive in the future, wanting to maintain their identity unchanged, and not turn into an insignificant part of someone else's identity. They wanted to become a central part of the company's identity. Thus, a conflict between two different identities arose, which ended in a complete break.

All this is to say that even in business there are different levels and different types of reactions and responses when moving from one level to another.

We recommended that Xerox do what they have always done: not to encroach on the field of personal computers, but to continue to adapt and act in their own way, that is, to begin developing computerized modules for their copy machines. If you are concerned that in the future no one will use paper, then start developing scanners that can digitize text and store it in a computer, instead of spending money on developing personal computers. Develop technology that best fits what you currently do.

It seems that Xerox took our advice. In his advertising, instead of a monk, he began to use the image of Leonardo da Vinci, which more symbolizes creativity: metaprograms require changes along with changes in the product.

Logical levels in family systems

What happened in , happens in every family where there is a teenager. The family has its own identity and at first the child is one way or another part of the external environment. When he begins to walk and show independence, performing various actions, it is time to begin developing his abilities: teach him how to manage these actions, how to move without breaking everything in his path. Of course, at school he develops much more abilities.

For parents, problems arise when the child begins to develop his own beliefs. And when the “I” begins to form, the conflict flares up in earnest. Often children want to be an independent person, and not just part of the family, to be themselves and not do what their parents demand of them or what their family needs. They want to do what they decide to do, not what others think would be best.

If you think about it, there is a real challenge in this.

“Are you confident that you are doing something because you really want to do it? Are you sure that you are not influenced by what others tell you or influenced by the fact that you will deserve punishment if you don’t do it?”

One way is to do something for which you will inevitably deserve punishment and that no one advises you to do. Obviously you will do this since you will be the only one making the decision. If everyone advises you not to do something for which you will inevitably get into trouble, and you still decide to do it, then it was you who made it related, and not someone else.

Another way of knowing one’s identity is through what a person cannot change: “If I cannot change it, then it is part of me, then it is myself.” In other words, I am ready to accept it as myself if I do not know what it takes to do it to others and if I cannot do it to others. What remains the same is clearly the most common thread that ties my experience together.

We will return to the issue of identity later, but for now we will continue the main theme of the book - beliefs.

The role of beliefs

Among other things, beliefs are also interesting because, due to their location on a different level than behavior or abilities, they do not change in accordance with the same rules.

If a person has a belief, then evidence obtained from the external environment or behavior will not be able to change this belief, since it does not concern reality. Beliefs replace your knowledge of reality and concern those things that cannot be observed in reality. Someone who is terminally ill does not know whether he will recover or not: there is nothing in current reality that could indicate this to him. He must believe that he will recover precisely because no one knows what reality is.

Another example is the idea of ​​the existence of God. There is no way to definitively prove or disprove it. This is a matter of personal belief (“faith”) or interpretation of certain facts, and any facts, as we know, can be interpreted differently in different belief systems.

I have known many terminally ill people, victims of cancer or AIDS. Many already considered themselves almost in the next world. Why worry about something, do something, if there is not much time left? Even if the examination gave a positive result, they were convinced that this was only a temporary improvement. They do not want to engage in self-deception; they know for sure that they will die soon. It is useless to argue with them, since they interpret any argument from the standpoint of their convictions.

And at the same time, there are many examples of how a positive outlook and positive beliefs can lead to recovery even from the most dangerous diseases. But how can you convince a person who considers himself a candidate for the next world that he may still be alive and well? I am sure that in an argument with him you will not prove anything. Almost everyone has at one time or another experienced that trying to change someone's beliefs usually ends up being a waste of time.

Thus, beliefs operate on a different level from external and behavioral reality and are not changed by the same processes. In a company, changing corporate values ​​and policies requires a special approach and does not occur mechanically simultaneously with the replacement of equipment.

To better understand the role of beliefs and the processes that influence them, let me review several studies of the functioning of beliefs in the field of behavioral change.

Losing excess weight

There are many dietary nutrition programs that are fundamentally different from each other. In some cases, various programs interpret exactly the opposite. Some, for example, say: “You can eat anything as long as you exercise.” Others claim:

“No matter what kind of exercise you do, the main thing is to eat right.” Some regulate what you usually eat. Others require a special set of products.

But the most amazing thing is that they all worked for someone. In other words, each of them was effective for a certain category of people.

One of my colleagues decided to study these programs, but instead of modeling each one separately, he directly approached people who had benefited from different diets, asking, “What happened and how did it work?” He found that all of these people, no matter what program they used, had two common characteristics.

The first is that the transition to a diet was accompanied by some other fundamental change in their lives

- a change of job, social connections or the entire external environment, if they moved to a new place of residence.

The second thing they reported was their reaction along the lines of, “This time I was really ready for a change.”

" They were ready to lose weight, and I think that this willingness played a very important role, especially in relation to beliefs.

When someone who is ready for change walks into your office, you can simply blow on them and they will change. In this case, you can do whatever you want: the only thing he is waiting for is permission.

Therefore, the question should be posed as follows: “ How to prepare a person so that he is ready to change?

»

If someone believes that he can change, he will change.

Cure from terminal cancer

In another interesting study, one hundred people who were cured of cancer were interviewed. All of these people were diagnosed with terminal cancer and are still living ten to twelve years later.

In this case, the researcher also tried to establish what all these people had in common. As it turned out along the way, the courses of treatment that they underwent were also very different. Some were subjected to routine medical procedures, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Others have resorted to unconventional methods such as acupuncture. Others followed diet and eating patterns. Some took the path of psychology or religion. Some did nothing at all.

The only thing that all these hundred people had in common was that they all believed that their actions would bring the expected result. Harmless medications prescribed to calm the patient

In the history of medicine, there is one very clear example of the power of persuasion - harmless drugs prescribed to calm the patient, the so-called placebo.

The placebo effect occurs when a patient, confident that he is being prescribed the right drug, is prescribed a completely harmless drug, and he nevertheless recovers. It will be very interesting to look at this phenomenon in more detail.

There is a lot of research into the placebo effect, since every new drug in the United States is tested against a placebo. And as these studies show, in about one out of three cases, a placebo has the same effect as the real medicine. But this is on average. Some studies indicate that placebo works as well as morphine in about 54% of cases

.

There was even a “reverse” study done in which placebo responders and non-placebo responders were given the real drug. They were given painkillers such as morphine and, as it turned out, it helped placebo-sensitive people in 95% of cases, and only in 46% of cases for everyone else. The difference was approximately 50%, and this convincingly indicates that even for a real medicine, in some cases it is necessary to be convinced of its effectiveness.

Placebos have also proven effective in treating cancer. In one study, patients were given “placebo chemotherapy,” which resulted in about a third of them going completely bald.

One of the most effective stun machines in California is one that hasn't been turned on for three years. Before connecting patients to it, they are given painkillers, due to which mental patients are sure that they received an electric shock, although in fact nothing happened. The effect is much higher than with real electric shock.

Another study found that shiny, small, red, very expensive pills had a significantly greater placebo effect than large, whitish, inexpensive pills. In other words, the submodalities of the drug are also of great importance.

At one time, Bandler and Grinder tried to start producing a product they called Mega Placebo, but the entire project was stopped by the government. Perhaps the authorities were afraid that the entire pharmaceutical industry of the country would remain out of business.

Expectations of self-efficacy: The relationship between beliefs, abilities, and behavior.

The placebo effect clearly demonstrates the role and hidden power of persuasion.

Quick treatment for phobias

The rapid treatment technique for phobias is used in NLP to neutralize anchors to any strong experiences, i.e. rid a person of phobias: xenophobia, agoraphobia, nyctophobia, photophobia, claustrophobia and many others. The result of successful application of this technique is the liberation of a person from fears, the release of energy and the emergence of many new opportunities.

The process of implementing the technique for quickly treating phobias consists of several steps:

• You need to gain access to a positive state and anchor it, creating a powerful resource anchor. Moreover, it is best if the anchor is kinesthetic.
• It is necessary to conduct a dissociative analysis of experiences, imagining yourself before being in a negative state (black and white picture) and after being in it (color picture).
• You need to look at yourself from the outside, as if sitting behind yourself in a movie theater.
• You need to quickly watch a black and white film, consisting of the first picture, the event itself and ending with a color picture.
• Then you need to watch the entire black and white film, but starting from the second color picture and ending with the first, and during the transition to the first picture you need to move to the second degree of dissociation (look at yourself watching the film). After moving to the first picture, the film should end immediately.
• You need to think about what was the source of the phobia and note changes in your physical condition.
• You need to project the negative situation into the future by imagining interaction with the source of the phobia and thinking about new response options. It is important to clearly define indicators of a feeling of safety or pointers to careful behavior.

You can learn more about the technique for quickly treating phobias on this page.

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Areas of application

In different areas of life, NLP suggests using different methods of influencing a person.

In sales

The modern market is oversaturated with goods and services. The competition is unimaginable. And for some reason, some stores and brands thrive and stay afloat for decades, while others disappear within a couple of months after opening. You can endlessly look for mistakes and blunders of the latter, but today they are increasingly saying that some people simply know how to use techniques to manipulate people (read: customers and clients), while others have not even heard of it. The former become successful, the fate of the latter is to sink into oblivion.

A step-by-step guide to how salespeople, managers and merchandisers use NLP techniques.

1. Establish a rapport (trust relationship) with the buyer through:

• mirroring;
• open poses.

2. Focus the buyer’s attention on a specific product through:

• shaking (as soon as he loses interest, you need to raise your voice, change your position, change the topic);
• involvement in joint activities, cooperation (“we will now look at the settings of this phone together”);
• creating positive expectations (“you won’t regret buying it”).
• unfinished action (make a riddle out of a product that can only be solved by purchasing it);
• emotionally significant words: benefit, inexpensive, promotion, discount, sale, bestseller, low prices, etc.

3. Call on the buyer to take active action using methods such as:

• the need to make an urgent decision: “in 2 hours the promotion will end”, “there is only one copy left”;
• illusion of choice: “choose which model you buy - this or that” (automatically the buyer’s consciousness refuses the obvious choice “I don’t buy anything”);
• future planning: “choose, and I’ll take you to the checkout”, “choose, I’ll issue a discount/coupon for a bonus card in the meantime.”

To increase sales, NLP techniques are actively used in advertising:

• working for generally accepted values ​​(in every second advertisement we see the image of an ideal family or a successful businessman);
• submodalities: with the help of visual pictures and verbal formulations, the subconscious is influenced (a juicy dish increases appetite, a half-naked girl interests men);
• presuppositions: such formulations that exclude the choice of another product;
• synesthesia: simultaneous connection of several channels of perception;
• truism: verbal formulations that evoke the authenticity of a fact, even if it is false (“cardiologists recommend”, “approved by the world association”);
• thought virus: creating a trail of mystery around a product.

As practice shows, NLP techniques provide high sales growth.

In a relationship

Experts believe that with the help of NLP you can make any person fall in love with you. How to do it?

• Anchoring

When talking to the target, make him remember something pleasant. From now on, when he sees you, he will experience only positive emotions.

• Adjustment

Study the clothing style and demeanor of the star your subject admires. Don't copy the image completely, but learn a couple of points and use them in communication.

• Mysteriousness

Don't tell everything about yourself. Leave some side unclear, but constantly bring your object of adoration to this mysterious door, as if inviting you to come in, but do not open it. The desire to solve the riddle will lead to building the relationships you dream of.

In love, it is also useful to use NLP techniques. The main thing is not to overdo it with them and not switch to naked manipulation of your loved one.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques for women:

• ideal dates, thought out to the smallest detail (from the tablecloth on the table to aphrodisiacs);
• beautiful, exciting external image (men love with their eyes);
• the rule of three “yes” (formulate three questions so that the man answers “yes”; to the fourth question, which is important to you, he will automatically answer the same);
• correct motivation: “you are the best”, “you will achieve everything”;
• disarming: demonstrating one's weaknesses, tears to evoke pity.

NLP techniques for men:

• illusion of choice: “Where should we go today - will we take a walk in the park or sit in a cafe?” (although in reality she was going to a friend’s place);
• “plus or minus”: first cause a slight negative reaction in the girl (look after the beauty), then a strong positive one (buy a gift, say a lot of compliments).

Experts warn that techniques for manipulating consciousness in relationships must be used extremely carefully so as not to slip into faceless and cruel control.

In education

Teachers in schools and other educational institutions can also actively use NLP:

• provide information in the form in which students perceive it better: some through the eyes, others through the ears, others through tactile sensations;
• use visualization as often as possible;
• anchoring: if the teacher raised his hand, everyone should be silent;
• speech strategies: to attract attention, raise your voice, fail to finish a sentence, become abruptly silent, create an aura of mystery (“read at home what happened between Onegin and Tatyana in the gazebo”);
• positive comments;
• jokes, humor (but not ridicule or humiliation).

Those teachers who use NLP methods in their work note their incredible effectiveness. They allow you to establish connections with children, help you learn the material faster, and be more attentive.

Combat

Now the so-called combat NLP has become widely used. If you think it's designed for warfare, you're wrong. It is used in everyday life, but not for peaceful purposes. This concept hides the use of psychotherapeutic techniques for the purpose of aggressive and deep influence on a person, outright manipulation. The result is a zombie man who, without hesitation, carries out any order.

Combat NLP is actively used in politics (in election campaigns), business, network marketing, when recruiting people into sects, criminal communities and informal groups.

People become its victims:

• with low IQ, no education;
• with suicidal tendencies;
• weak-willed;
• those who are deeply depressed;
• with neurotic disorders;
• infantile
• naive and gullible.

Professionals in the field of combat NLP immediately pick out such people from the crowd based on special characteristics and begin to process them. The victims are teenagers, old people, maximalists, religious fanatics, and marginalized people. It is because of this trend that many criticize and do not accept neurolinguistic programming techniques, considering them aggressive, sometimes even illegal, unethical and inhumane.

If you have become a victim of aggressive NLP, you must resist the manipulator. We have already told you how to recognize it and not succumb.

Reimprinting

The name of this technique comes from the word “imprint”, meaning “imprinting”, i.e. any experience or set of experiences as a result of which a person developed certain beliefs. Often imprint situations are dead ends and cause a person to feel meaningless, hopeless, hopeless, etc. The point of imprinting is to find the resources necessary to change ingrained beliefs and update established behavioral patterns.

The use of the reimprinting technique is based, first of all, on identifying the symptoms of the imprint, which involves focusing on the very first appearance of any experiences associated with it and the beliefs that have arisen. After this, you need to mentally transport yourself to the moment that preceded the emergence of the imprint, return to the present state and look at the imprint from the position that preceded it.

The next stage is the search for positive intentions or secondary benefits that are hidden behind the established reactions and symptoms of the imprint and some other equally important components that require more detailed and scrupulous study.

The features of reimprinting and the procedure for its implementation can be found here.

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How it works

A person cannot perceive the world around him objectively, since he passes it through his own sensations (visual, auditory, olfactory), through the prism of acquired experience, personal beliefs and principles. Some people cannot live without church, others openly hate religion. Some are looking for a job that pays more, while for others it is more important that they like it. Some people like external beauty in people, others are delighted with the mental abilities of the interlocutor.

According to NLP, if you take into account all the above points and understand how a particular person passes information through himself and what is of particular importance to him, using certain techniques, you can achieve anything from him. But first, painstaking work must be done with beliefs and physiological characteristics.

If a manager persistently persuades a church-going grandmother to buy goods with demonic symbols, he will fail. It is necessary to offer an alternative option in time so that the purchase turns out to be pleasant for her and brings benefits to the company. This is where NLP techniques such as emotionally meaningful words and creating positive expectations come into play.

If an employee sits in a closed position (arms and legs crossed), it is difficult to demand increased productivity. But, having mastered the mirroring method, you can open the pose and talk more naturally.

Reassessment of the past

The technique of re-evaluating the past helps to change the assessment of any event that took place in a person’s past. It is very effective because... with its help you can influence the assessment of the troubles that have occurred and the beliefs associated with them, change relationships with specific people, and even transform aspects of the perception of childhood. A brief algorithm of necessary actions includes the following:

• It is necessary to determine the period of time that requires change and elaboration. It can be associated with a person, place, time, etc. conditions.
• We need to create a powerful resource anchor. It is best if it is kinesthetic.
• It is necessary to imagine the time period in question in the form of a straight line located on the floor, determine the most significant moments of this period, name them and mark them on the line, observing the real sequence.
• It is necessary to divide all noted situations into positive and negative. Then, walking along the line, you should re-experience positive situations anew, and imagine negative ones dissociated, i.e. watching yourself from the outside.
• When considering negative situations in a dissociated way, you can use the resource anchor created at the beginning. Sometimes this allows you to look even at negative events from a different angle and see the positive aspects in them.
• It is necessary to conduct an ecological check of the new perception of past events and, if the result does not satisfy all the requirements, go back and work through the previous points again.
• It is necessary to synchronize with the future, projecting the achieved result onto situations that may occur.

The technique of revaluing the past is discussed in more detail here.

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Basics

Where to start learning neurolinguistic programming? There are basic, basic techniques that were developed half a century ago by J. Grinder and R. Bandler and continue to be improved to this day. First you need to master them theoretically, so that you can then learn to apply them in practice.

1. Subjective experience: a person’s past, which has a huge influence on him.

2. Presuppositions - semantic components of NLP:

• the map is not yet the territory;
• consciousness, like life, is a systemic process;
• positive intention is the basis of any behavior;
• rapport (building trusting relationships);
• feedback, not defeat;
• and many others.

3. Representational systems: how a person receives information mainly from the outside (visual, auditory, kinesthetic and discrete images).

4. Metamodels and metaprograms.

5. Milton models: empty information that a person fills in himself in accordance with his beliefs, desires, and principles.

Access Keys: A single thing or phrase can force a person to take an action.

These are the basic theoretical principles of NLP. Without mastering them, achieving results in practice will be extremely difficult. You can find their detailed descriptions in popular science literature (the list is given below).

Timeline selection

The presented technique has proven itself to be a reliable tool for resolving those situations when there is a choice of something, but a person does not know what is the best thing to do. In addition, the timeline choice technique can be used to predict the long-term consequences of each of the possible options.

The first thing you need to do to successfully use this technique is to realize that you have a choice: you need to clearly define for yourself what options exist. Next, you need to speculate on how long the choice you make can have an impact on, and mentally draw a line on the floor reflecting this period.

Then you need to set a deadline for yourself by which you need to make a choice; Between this date and the present day, you need to determine the most optimal time for selection. Then you should mentally move into the future and try to note the events that your choice may cause; Give these events an assessment by looking at them from the outside. You can also resort to integration to walk the intended route, as if observing from the outside at the people who have already passed it.

At the end of all this, you need to return to the starting point and think about whether there is an opportunity to somehow improve the route or create a new, more efficient one. Evaluate your choices: What did you learn from traveling along the timeline? The number of positive aspects will indicate to you the right choice.

The time line selection technique is discussed in detail here.

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Rules of life

These are beliefs about “rules of interaction with values.” Value is a category of things that are important to us. Beliefs of this type describe what to do with this category. Since values ​​are very general concepts, beliefs also describe fairly large generalizations.

— To succeed you need to work hard. [to obtain the value "success" you need to "work hard"]

— Money is a sign of a successful business. [having “money” is the criterion for a “successful business”]

— Cancer leads to death. [“cancer” leads to the achievement of the anti-value “death”]

— Freedom is the opportunity to be who you want. [definition of the value “freedom”]

Cause-effect

These beliefs describe what you need to do to get into the category (satisfy the value) and what will happen if you receive this value. For example, the value “popularity”.

Reason : “In order to become popular, you need to work hard.”

Corollary : "Popularity leads to loss of common sense."

A characteristic feature of this type of belief is the presence of a sequence - one comes after the other: “alcoholism leads to death,” “love causes happiness.”

The “cause-effect” type includes ought beliefs:

- I have to work hard.

- He is forced to try.

- I can't be late.

It’s just that the second part is usually “lost” in these beliefs: what will happen if you don’t do it (or do it).

— To get a promotion, I have to work hard.

- In order not to stay for a second year, he is forced to try.

- I can’t be late - I can get fired for being late.

In the meta-model, to restore the full form of beliefs of this type, a reaction to the pattern “modal verb of obligation or necessity” is used.

Complex equivalent

Another type of belief “equates” different elements with each other. These include beliefs about criteria (how will I know when a value is satisfied?) and definition (what is it?).

Criteria: “If they constantly talk about you, invite you to different places and want to communicate with you, then you are popular.”

Beliefs about criteria usually assume that all criteria must be met: “Success is when you have a lot of money, everyone respects and envy you.” If at least one of the criteria is not met, then the value has not been achieved. You won’t be able to understand just from a phrase whether a person has mentioned all the criteria - you need to additionally collect information.

Definition: “Popularity is when you are the center of attention.”

As the name suggests, this belief “explains” what a value is.

Definition beliefs often link values ​​together: “Love is happiness,” “truth is a necessity,” and so on.