What is the psychology of human interaction in the process of communication?

Establishing connections and developing contacts between people characterizes emerging communications as a two-way activity. It is better to consider communication as interaction, taking into account what type of relationship prevails - cooperation or competition. But, in any case, it can be considered an important factor in social development. The process of emergence and regulation of relationships in a group or society depends on it.

What is interaction

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Let's do a little experiment. Time your watch for 5 minutes, do not read further this article, do not respond to the phone, do not turn on social networks, TV, radio, do not communicate with others and do not build internal dialogues with anyone.

For these 5 minutes you disconnected from any interaction, limited your contacts and were left alone. For most people, even this period will seem too long; an oppressive emptiness appears inside them, which they want to get rid of with all their might. Dedicate the next 5 minutes to another exercise - remember your whole day.

If you read this article in the morning, look at yesterday. Your field of interest should include:

• Personal communication with family, colleagues, friends;
• Correspondence via various messengers;
• Likes, comments on social networks;
• Internal dialogues with the boss, subordinates, loved ones;
• Disputes, quarrels, disputes;
• Evaluating yourself and your actions in comparison with other people;

Communication Strategies and Tactics

• Participation in meetings, including online;
• Candlelight dinner with your loved one;
• A short conversation with your neighbors, even if you just said hello;
• Visiting a store, even if you paid for the groceries without a word, exchanged glances with the security guard and left.

Perhaps 5 minutes is not enough for you to remember all those moments when you somehow came into contact with people around you in one day. But all of the situations listed above and many others in which you participate every day are examples of interaction with people. And interaction itself is communication, cooperation, competition, participation in joint projects, working towards achieving the same goals.

You can interact openly, in real life, or in an electronic environment. It is worth including in this area of ​​relationships situations in which you build dialogues with others within yourself.

By the way, you can interact not only with people, but also with animals and inanimate objects, but this is a different question. Now it is interesting to consider the relationships between people.

Role-playing games

It is almost impossible to find a person who does not play some kind of games in his relationships with others. To do this, you need to be crystal clear, sincere, have no hidden interests, and ignore personal motives and goals. Therefore, almost everyone, interacting with other people, chooses some role for themselves.

From this point of view, the famous theory of Eric Berne, a man who devoted most of his life to the analysis of interactions (transactions), is interesting.

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Berne identified 3 main roles that a person takes in different life situations.

Child

The main characteristic of this role is not to take responsibility. It’s better to seem weak, to arouse pity, to tell why everything is bad for you, than to admit that you are afraid or too lazy to do something.

Often this role is taken on by people who are accustomed to being victims. Remember how often some friend of yours cried that all her friends were alcoholics, womanizers or absolutely worthless people. Every broken relationship was always someone else's fault. Moreover, her ideal seems to be a person who will be strong, smart, rich, i.e. capable of providing all her needs and protecting her from any adversity.

Parent

The ideal child is most often the parent. All his actions are aimed at protecting the “poor, little bird” suffering from the injustice of the world. By doing this, he takes on too much responsibility, which he cannot cope with, breaks down under its yoke, or becomes a despot.

In the first case, the broken parent begins to blame the world and those whom he has taken under his protection for injustice and ingratitude.

In the second situation, he begins to treat those around him as youngsters incapable of anything, completely ignoring their real needs and capabilities. This type of interaction occurs between a boss and subordinates. It often appears between spouses, and then the situation can reach the point of absurdity when everything is controlled:

• Money (even if the “protected party” earned it);
• Choice of clothes;

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• Time and weather for walks;
• Resting-place;
• Purchasing and selecting products.

Another interesting trait of parents is the desire to be the best in everything. Of course, the child also wants this, but the latter dreams of ideals and quickly gives up, recognizing the greatness of the world and the impossibility of conquering it. The parent is sure that he always knows everything better than anyone and is beyond competition.

Adult

This position characterizes a balanced person who has the strength to accept responsibility, but at the same time gives others the opportunity to express themselves, to be responsible for their actions and words. An adult values ​​rights and responsibilities and is open to equal interaction.

The role presupposes the ability to adequately assess the situation and, if necessary, provide assistance and assistance. Such a person copes well in a competitive environment and, if he loses, looks not for those to blame, but for reasons and future opportunities.

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Communication goals

Interaction between people is never aimless. In any case, it is based on the motives that each of the interlocutors pursues personally for himself.

By delving into a conversation, one person can carry on a conversation with an opponent, guided by his own motive. The other will at the same time have his own interest, for the sake of which he devoted time to this conversation.

The goals of communication are:

• desire to meet or establish relationships;
• provide help or ask for it from the interlocutor;
• find a partner for further interaction or conduct of activities, as well as receive sympathy and an emotional response;
• the opportunity to self-actualize or establish yourself, express your feelings, show skills;
• to introduce another person to beliefs, opinions, educate, train;
• change personal intentions, views on familiar events.

An individual chooses a partner for communication based on similar interests in hobbies and activities, proximity to certain moral qualities, physical characteristics, appearance, and level of intelligence.

What motives a person pursues depends on character, temperament, family upbringing, age, and life experience.

Interaction factors

Role-playing games occupy an important place in relationships between people. But many other factors influence interaction.

Among them:

• Interests and goals of the parties. If they are similar, people can move in the same direction, strive to achieve the same goal. When diametrically opposed interests arise, conflicts, quarrels, and scandals arise. A common example in the work of commercial representatives is that management has given two sellers a goal to increase sales, but does not divide the market between them. As a result, both call the same clients, quarrel with each other, and spoil the relationship with the customer. The result may be failure of the plan.
• Attitude towards others. It is pleasant for you to communicate with someone, and you will want to spend time with this person, interact with him, go to concerts, meet. But there are people who cause you a negative attitude, and it is pointless to think about friendship, love, successful cooperation until relations are normalized. By the way, it has been proven that it is more pleasant to communicate with nice, neat people. They are perceived as smart, friendly, even unable to deceive.
• Proximity. This means living in the same area, visiting the same fitness club, studying at the same university, and having the same place of work. Constantly encountering the same person, you begin to perceive him as part of your environment and are ready to interact with him, even if the conditions of your usual contacts have changed.

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Example – a young girl lives in a neighboring house. You are strangers, you don’t say hello, but you often cross paths on the way to work or in the store. If you meet on vacation in another city or family, you will probably greet each other and even stop to talk.

The psychology of human interaction is associated with the study of behavior and contacts built by a person in society. It examines typical roles, games, factors and forms of interaction, and predicts the success of a person as a social being.

Types of relationships between a man and a woman

The relationship between a man and a woman is a fascinating topic that interests many. In society, people cannot help but maintain connections with the opposite sex. But they do not always understand what kind of relationships can exist between representatives of opposite sexes, as well as what is at the basis of their formation.

Sympathy and love

The development of emotional relationships between partners begins with sympathy. For its appearance, a person must evaluate the following criteria in a partner:

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• appearance;
• physical attractiveness;
• status;
• socio-demographic indicators.

These characteristics of a person are always visible, so it does not take much time to assess them.

But sympathy is a short-term and quickly passing emotional connection. If a relationship has arisen between people, as it develops it can develop into falling in love. It is often confused with love. The main mechanism for the emergence of this connection is the emotional reaction to advances from a woman or man.

In order for infatuation to take root and develop into love, it needs to develop, becoming acquainted with the negative sides of the beloved person. Only by accepting its “dark side” can we talk about the birth of love.

But you don’t always need to accept your partner’s negativity. There are types of men in relationships with women that should be avoided:

• Tyrants. Such people hide their true nature well. At the stage of falling in love, they can be affectionate, caring and tender. The tyrant is revealed mainly in marriage. He begins to control his partner and may beat or insult him. It's all due to lack of self-confidence. The tyrant is insanely afraid of losing his beloved or convicting her of treason. It is almost impossible to change such a psychotype. If the first signs appear, then you should not expect a miracle, because the tyrant will not change.
• Mama's boy. It is unlikely that this type can be re-educated. All his life, his mother made decisions for him, who does not want to admit that the child has grown up. Such men are dependent and effeminate. They prefer to get involved with strong-willed women who, like a mother, will solve problems for them.
• Misogynists. These are men who were unable to overcome the heart wounds left over from past relationships. In the new union, they prefer to take revenge for their suffering on the woman who loves them. Misogynists do not experience love, but on the contrary, they despise it. This type can be corrected, but the man must want to let go of old grievances himself.
• Alphonse. Such men believe that they were born for a beautiful life in which there is no need to strain. It's easy to fall in love with a gigolo. He is handsome, well-groomed, courteous, but he will be with a woman as long as she makes his life carefree. As soon as she needs a man's help, he will leave his “hard” life.

If along the path of life you have developed a liking for one of these types of men, think in advance about the consequences of such a union.

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Dependents

Relationships between a man and a woman can be dependent. They differ from ordinary ones in that it is very difficult for a person to get out of them.

A man can sensibly understand that a painful relationship needs to be stopped, but he is not able to take action. Dependent relationships appear as a result of a strong emotional connection:

• partners can only communicate with each other, refusing friends;
• Unhealthy jealousy can give rise to the seed of a dependent union.

When a couple agrees to follow general rules (don’t communicate with friends, don’t go outside without your husband, don’t watch TV without your wife), but one of the spouses violates them, the relationship begins to bring nothing but suffering.

Basically, codependent relationships can be observed in couples where one of the spouses is a gambling addict, drug addict or alcoholic. In such a union, one person destroys himself with a bad habit, and the other cannot find the strength to leave him and leave.

The connection between the spouses cannot stop because they think that there is true love between them. But they are wrong.

Psychologists say that spouses can see their parent in the past in each other. It is this emotional connection, the once-unclosed gestalt, that prevents these bonds from being broken. For example, if a girl’s father beat her mother, then in adulthood she may endure beatings from her husband, trying to act out the situation with her parent on him. More often, such women think: “If I couldn’t stop my father, then I can stop you, husband, I can.”

For the sake of childhood experiences and unfulfilled hopes, people often endure physical and emotional pain.

Matriarchal or patriarchal

Matriarchy and patriarchy are types of family relationships that reflect the power structure in the union, the functions of women and men, as well as the specifics of leadership within the family. Based on these criteria, we can distinguish 5 types of families:

Each couple chooses their own type of relationship. Sometimes leadership positions in a family can change after some time. But in most cases, the emergence of a type of relationship occurs at the stage of falling in love and continues until it exhausts itself.

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By calculation

An arranged relationship is the creation of a couple under the strict guidance of reason, not feelings. But in such relationships, love is not excluded. The calculation may vary:

• increase prosperity;
• strengthen status;
• register in an apartment;
• have a permanent sexual partner;
• for the sake of the child.

It is impossible to say unambiguously what such a relationship can lead to, since each situation that prompted this step is individual.

According to statistics, marriages of convenience are much stronger than marriages of love. But there are few happy unions among them. Based on rational considerations, arranged marriages can be concluded on mutually beneficial terms: “I wash and clean, you work, and in the evening we spend time together.” Such relationships can last for years, but as long as the union is beneficial for both the man and the woman.

According to representatives of psychology, the calculation is not so bad. You need to think about the future. When entering into a relationship of convenience, it is most correct not to guess “What can I take from a man,” but to find out “What can I give to a man.” You need to think about your interests, but do not forget that the union will be strong only when the wife thinks about her husband and vice versa.

Polygamous

Translated from Greek, polygamy refers to a form of marital relationship in which a wife or husband has several partners for whom they feel love. In this regard, polygamous relationships are divided into two types:

• polygyny - polygamy;
• polyandry - polyandry;
• bigamy - polygyny in which one wife does not know about the existence of the other.

In the Middle Ages, polygamy was justified. The reasons for this were the following:

• due to military losses, the male population was rapidly declining;
• after epidemics, population restoration was required;
• Religious dogmas called for polyandry and polygamy.

Now society has no need to maintain these circumstances. When entering into a love union, a person should not be guided by sexual instincts.

According to psychologists, polygamous unions are preferred by insecure people who want to assert themselves at the expense of two partners.

Polyamorous

Polyamorous relationships are relatives of polygamy. They also allow multiple connections, but with some differences:

• in polyamorous unions there is no division between polyandry and polygamy;
• love relationships can develop between a free man and a married woman or an alliance between several polygamous families.

Supporters of such unions believe that the main thing in love between the sexes is the absence of jealousy, respect and loyalty.

There are no leaders in such families. The interests of partners are always taken into account. Important decisions are made only after joint discussion.

There are situations when jealousy breaks into a polyamorous relationship. But the family solves this problem through joint efforts.

Marital

Marriage or conjugal union means a long-term relationship based on responsibility for one’s other half. In the modern understanding, a family is created for:

• giving birth and raising children;
• joint household management.

The union is usually supported legally or religiously. Ideally, the core of a family union is love, which arose from emotional and spiritual intimacy.

Relationships must be supported by the physical need of the spouse for the spouse and vice versa.