Gerontophobia - fear of old age and everything connected with it (diseases that appear with age, older people, their appearance, smell and habits) - is an extremely common phenomenon. According to a 2014 survey, about 87% of Americans experience at least one of these fears.
In first place (23%) was the fear of physical inferiority, in second (15%) - mental deviations.
It is interesting that death scares only 10% of respondents, that is, the manifestations of old age cause much stronger negative experiences than its outcome. Such fear arises from denial and, as a result, discrimination against the elderly and a whole bunch of stereotypes associated with them. Yes, despite the fact that young people complain louder about ageism, life is much more difficult for people over 60 because of it.
Any set of prejudices, the name of which often ends in “-ism”, is based on the fact that everyone who has some common characteristic (gender, skin color, age, etc.) is equated with a homogeneous mass and is judged against them based on stereotypes. It would seem that what is wrong here? After all, all older people are truly “elderly.” And it doesn’t matter that some of them are 60 and some are 90 and they belong to completely different generations.
Attributing the same views, thoughts and feelings to them is the same as comparing a five-year-old child who dreams of learning to ride a two-wheeled bicycle and a fifty-year-old man who has decided not to ride one again. People who are usually called “elderly” can be more active than “young people”, engage in economic and political activities on equal terms with them (look at the composition of governments!) and not give up social life at all. By the way, WHO believes that ageism is now even more widespread than sexism and racism. But we will all be there.
What is gerontophobia
What is gerontophobia? This is what is called fear of old age, fear of aging. An alternative name is gerascophobia. At the mere thought of old age, a person becomes overwhelmed with anxiety, melancholy, and sadness. Some are afraid of old age and death, some of health problems, some of loss of beauty and physical strength, some are afraid of losing their minds, and some are worried about being forced to leave work and from the active life of society. Each person has his own reason for anxiety, but the reasons for the phobia are the same.
This is interesting! Fear of aging is more common in people over thirty. This is due to the mid-life crisis (preliminary summing up of life, making plans for the future, recording the first signs of external and internal aging).
Does this mean it will only get worse?
Indeed, with such introductions, it’s scary to grow up, and it seems that it’s not necessary - it’s better to stay “in one pore” for as long as possible. Youth ceases to be a stage that needs to be passed through and left in the past, and turns into an achievement, a goal. This is a great deception for people of all ages.
Constantly looking back (or looking forward, if we are talking about children), it is easy to lose sight of what is happening now, and take for granted that life goes on at 10, and at 25, and at 48, and at 90.
And yet, the cult of youth and uniqueness as its indispensable attribute is supported by the media, politicians, and other public institutions.
Causes of gerontophobia
Why fear of old age develops:
- observing another person's aging and decline;
- forced care of a sick person;
- observing the cold attitude of children and grandchildren towards the elderly;
- exposure to the media and stories from friends (about small pensions, loneliness, health problems, etc.);
- childhood psychotrauma (the child witnessed the death of a loved one, an elderly person).
Fear of the unknown, fear of change are the main reasons for the fear of old age. Not all older people manage to find a hobby or a new social activity. Not everyone can maintain physical fitness, not everyone continues to take care of themselves. This is roughly what a person who is tormented by the fear of aging thinks about. But he forgets that everything depends on the person himself and on his activity at other stages of life.
Loss of beauty
What emotions and feelings accompany this fear: irritation, despair, contempt, anger, envy. What should these feelings be turned into: self-acceptance and self-worth, self-respect, gratitude, tenderness, self-love. Individuality, self-love, self-care and style are what makes a person beautiful at any age.
Losing my mind
What feelings and emotions accompany this fear: anxiety, shame, pity, despair, alienation. What emotions and feelings need to be replaced: curiosity, kindness, pride, hope.
There is an opinion that in old age a person inevitably faces dementia. In fact, it all depends on the life path of a particular person. It is very important to constantly engage in intellectual work. Neural connections do form worse with age, but if you constantly work with your mind, you can maintain the activity of old connections and stimulate the activity of new neurons. For brain health, it is important to avoid habitual and routine work; you need to give up habits and automaticity. Learn new things, keep your brain working continuously.
Loss of health and physical strength
What emotions and feelings accompany this fear: despair, resentment, sadness, melancholy, rage, regret, humiliation, shame. What emotions and feelings need to replace them: delight, interest, self-care, self-love, revitalization.
If you take care of yourself, you can be healthier and fitter at 50 than at 20. It all depends on the habits, lifestyle and character of a person.
Loss of self-importance
What emotions and feelings accompany this fear: shame, indignation, despair, anger, resentment, shyness, helplessness. What emotions should this be replaced with: friendliness, interest, trust, sympathy, mutual assistance.
Become a good specialist and a versatile person, then in old age you will be a sought-after unit of society. Do not interrupt the path of learning, maintain the ability to learn new things, maintain an interest in development and self-development. Even if you retire, people will still turn to you for personal and professional advice. This will be enough to feel significant and needed. Do not withdraw into yourself, do not refuse communication, new acquaintances, public events and training courses.
Loss of sexual attractiveness
What feelings accompany: shame, anger, envy, indignation, despair, fear, disappointment. What feelings need to be replaced: self-love, self-acceptance, self-respect, admiration, care, happiness.
Love for yourself and life is the secret of sexuality. A dissatisfied, tired, grumpy woman will never look attractive in the eyes of a man. And it doesn't matter how old she is. Nurture love within yourself and radiate positivity, be interesting inside and out, then you will always be in demand among the opposite sex.
Loss of financial well-being
What feelings accompany: horror, panic, despair, helplessness, irritation, greed. What feelings should be replaced: interest, gratitude, confidence, responsibility.
Many modern retirees are finding a completely new way to earn money. It's never too late to learn something new. You can start learning a new type of activity right now and constantly expand your repertoire of skills and knowledge. But it’s even better to think about investing in your future: business, bank deposit, rental housing, etc.
Now it’s official: the old horse doesn’t ruin the furrow
Unfortunately, any discrimination has a serious impact on the standard of living of those who are subject to it. Ageism is very common in the workplace these days: people who have reached retirement age are considered less educated and productive than their newly hired colleagues. No doubt, sometimes this is true, but research shows that the cognitive abilities of older workers (65-80 years old) and younger ones (20-31) are quite comparable. True, representatives of the older generation needed more time to understand the task, but in the long term they worked more consistently than their average young opponent and, using the accumulated experience, were more successful in coming up with new strategies and passing tests.
The young ones grasped everything on the fly, but due to less concentration they were inferior in productivity.
And yet, older workers are often refused to be sent to advanced training courses, taught new skills and empowered. This is also due to the fact that management is afraid to invest in such subordinates due to the fact that they will soon retire or even go to the best of worlds. After 50 years of age, it becomes difficult for people to get a new job, and if they do get hired, it will most likely be for a less prestigious position.
When fear of old age develops into a phobia
Fear of old age develops into a phobia at the moment when negative thoughts take over a person’s mind and begin to control it. As a result, the individual either goes to great lengths to preserve youth, health and beauty, or, conversely, gives up and gives up any goals and desires so that the inevitable end comes sooner.
The main symptom of a phobia is excessive self-care. A person changes his image, loses weight, joins a gym, monitors his diet, undergoes cosmetic procedures, and decides to undergo plastic surgery. The idea of preserving youth becomes manic. An alternative course is apathy with the thought “I’m already old, why should I strive somewhere, my time is over.”
Fear of old age in men
In men, fear of aging is more often associated with impotence and the inability to support a family. They are also worried about retirement, loss of social status and authority. Loss of physical strength is another cause for concern among men. They are afraid that not only will they not be able to help their wife or support their family, but they themselves will need help.
Fear of old age in women
Fear of old age in women is more often associated with the fear of loss of sexuality and external attractiveness, menopause and the natural hormonal and psychophysiological changes that accompany it. Women are afraid of wrinkles, excess weight, loss of skin elasticity. In this regard, there is a fear of loneliness.
It is important! Both men and women have the fear of not having time to realize everything they have planned. Women are more often afraid of not having time to get married and have children, and men are afraid of not having time to acquire a stable income, housing, and family.
general information
As a rule, most people's attitude towards aging is understanding and reasonable. This is an absolutely natural process that cannot be prevented even with the help of modern medicine. But the lack of understanding that general health and appearance deteriorate with age can be the decisive impetus for the formation of a phobia.
Gerontophobia (gerascophobia) is an obsessive, uncontrollable fear associated with the aging process of a person. Understanding the impossibility of fixing something or postponing the process causes serious suffering to a person. Abnormal fear fetters and does not allow one to be a full-fledged member of society. Gerontophobia can manifest itself in the following forms:
- Fear of one's own aging. There may be different aspects of life involved that may change with age.
- Fear of old people. This form of phobia is typical for people prone to hypochondriacal fantasies and excessive sensitivity. The sight of older people makes them disgusted. They avoid them in every possible way and isolate themselves from age: even a picture of an elderly person and “attributes of age”, for example, clothes of past decades, medicines, a wand, cause them wild fear. Often this form of phobia is complicated by strained relationships with relatives and feelings of guilt for this.
Sometimes gerontophobia is considered as discrimination against older people in the social sphere: various restrictions, disregard for opinions, insults, refusal to hire, etc. But it would be more correct to call this form ageism. It carries the following: the creation of prejudiced opinions and discrimination against certain groups of people based on age.
Gerontophobes are afraid of a whole range of problems that can be encountered in old age. For example this:
- fear of losing former beauty;
- the ability to have a wide range of diseases;
- the likelihood of losing your sanity;
- fear of losing basic self-care skills;
- fear of becoming a burden to relatives;
- conviction of loneliness and lack of hobbies;
- fear of losing social status;
- fear of worsening financial situation.
How to get rid of gerontophobia
Auto-training, self-hypnosis, cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, and a relaxation method will help you get rid of gerontophobia. At the initial stage of the disease, you can cope with the phobia on your own.
Breathing technique
In moments of panic, use breathing exercises.
Breathing exercise options:
- Inhale and exhale sharply. Repeat several times. This exercise will give you decisiveness at the right time.
- Inhale twice and exhale twice. This exercise will help distract you from anxious thoughts and increase your concentration.
- Take a deep breath, while inflating your stomach, then take another short and calm breath, then exhale slowly, drawing in your stomach. Breathe like this for a few minutes. This exercise will help you relax and calm down.
- Take a calm and short breath, then another, then another, and so on until your body’s resources run out. After this, take a long and calm breath. This exercise helps you calm down quickly.
It is recommended to support breathing exercises with meditation and affirmations.
Systematic desensitization
This method implies a gradual rapprochement with the object of fear. Desensitization is carried out in three stages:
- Complete relaxation of mind and body.
- Analysis and identification of the true cause of fear, what is hidden behind gerontophobia.
- Gradual rapprochement with the object of fear.
Flood
This is a version of shock therapy. A person is immediately immersed in the most frightening situation possible, for example, visiting a nursing home. You need to stay in a scary place until the fear passes. This is a dangerous method that is not recommended to be used without the supervision of a psychologist.
Self help
After you determine what exactly scares you, try to change your usual lifestyle, focusing on the identified problem:
- Start eating right, exercising and taking care of your health.
- Make a list of goals and plans for your life.
- Get a hobby, find a source of psychological health (you can do the same in retirement).
- Love yourself and destroy stereotypes. Your old age depends only on you, only you determine your destiny.
Perhaps you are paying attention to the wrong old people. Nowadays the idea of a healthy and cheerful old age is popular, and this has also captured Russia. Pensioners are mastering the Internet, joining clubs of similar interests, and maintaining blogs. Such elderly people are talked about in the news and talk shows. Check out something like this to get inspired.
Treatment methods
How can you avoid the fear of old age? It is almost impossible to heal on your own. First you need to change your lifestyle, start leading a healthy lifestyle and playing sports. This way you can delay the onset of old age. The main thing is to notice the symptoms of a phobia in time and begin an examination, as well as carry out preventive measures.
Strength needs to be maintained, revived, improving yourself and your life. You need to set yourself up correctly, read literature, do what you love, attend cultural events.
Treatment with psychology
You definitely need to see a psychologist. The doctor will look at the problem from a professional point of view, understand the reasons for the fear of aging, and prescribe the necessary therapy. The disease of anxiety (also called gerascophobia) is treated through special exercises and hypnosis. An experienced doctor will help you believe in your own strength and understand that old age cannot be avoided and you should not be afraid of it. Old age is a physiological process that occurs gradually. You can slow it down by playing sports, taking care of your health, and getting positive emotions.
To eliminate panic attacks, doctors prescribe sedatives, as well as pills that maintain normal blood pressure and improve sleep. Symptoms of a mental disorder can go away on their own, you just need to get distracted: relax, meet nice people, do what you love.
What do neglected cases lead to?
In advanced cases, a person shows aggression towards older people, he despises them, and is disgusted with old age. At the same time, criticism towards oneself and one’s body intensifies. A person begins to chaotically get involved in youth trends, put on youth clothes, wear strange hairstyles and accessories. Some people, in a state of panic, give birth to children so that “there will be someone to give a glass of water to in old age,” other gerontophobes, on the contrary, refuse to start a family, hoping in this way to preserve beauty and health.
It is important! The same problems that relate to the causes of a phobia are the consequences of fear. Impotence, general weakness, decreased cognitive abilities, loneliness, frequent illnesses - all this is the result of a person’s negative thinking and lack of self-acceptance.
