Every person at least once in his life has heard words like “he has impossible demands” or “she demands a lot from herself and those around her.” Sometimes, all this leads to professional burnout, depression, rapid fatigue and loss of interest in life.
If you realize that you are “racing horses” and that “it’s time to stop,” then the following 11 tips, prepared on the basis of numerous psychological studies, diagnostics of people and my personal experience, will be useful to you.
Content
- Lower the high bar of demands on yourself and others;
- The right attitude;
- Don't deprive yourself of days off;
- Spend time alone;
- Find a place for the word “no”;
- Set aside a few hours a week for meditation;
- Don’t forget to write down the results of each day you live;
- Show kindness to the people around you;
- You are your best friend;
- Compliments play an important role;
- Don't neglect healthy and adequate sleep.
We don't dramatize events
There is an expression - “making a molehill out of a molehill.” It is used when talking about exaggeration, giving something unjustifiably great importance. It also applies to the case when we torment ourselves with worries about our own mistakes, significantly exaggerating their scale.
Psychologists say that dramatization of events is characteristic of people whose parents have taught them since childhood that life is a continuous series of difficulties that need to be overcome. As a result, such people, firstly, feel the need to report to someone about their actions to combat difficulties, and, secondly, they need a positive assessment of these actions. And, thus, they make themselves dependent not only on the event itself, exaggerating its significance, but also on the opinions of others.
Living in the present, not the past
Many people have a tendency that cannot be called anything other than masochistic: they mentally return to unpleasant events of the past, experiencing the negative over and over again. They cannot forget the insults once inflicted on them. There is even an expression - “accumulating grievances.”
Psychologists believe that such “accumulation” causes a number of diseases, including cancer. Life energy is spent on replaying an unpleasant situation in the mind, on an internal dialogue with the offender, to whom we mentally try to give a worthy answer.
They say that like attracts like. When we are constantly irritated and accumulate grievances, we turn into an angry bundle of nerves, attracting new offenders. And there is only one way out of this vicious circle: forget old grievances, do not remember the offender, think about the good, start the day with a smile, attracting positivity and goodness into your life.
Do what you like
A person should not be afraid to do what he loves. Even if you can't do anything today, it doesn't mean you won't learn a new skill tomorrow. How to develop healthy indifference? You need to work on it every day. You should find time every day to do what you love. Let it be just 30 minutes a day at first. Then you can increase the time to an hour, and then study for 2-3 hours. At any age, a person can master any specialization. Yes, it is possible that in some areas a person will not be able to receive awards and medals, but what he loves, first of all, is the pleasure of the process. Do you want to dance? Go to the nearest fitness center, join a group and find like-minded people. Do you want to become an actor? Take acting classes and start acting in any theater group. It's never too late to take up your favorite activity, remember this.
Getting rid of perfectionism
Perfectionists are people who, no matter what they undertake, strive to do everything in an ideal way. Moreover, this perfectionism can also be directed at others, to whom they place excessive demands. Often, perfectionists themselves depend on the opinions of other people because they feel the need for praise and meeting other people's expectations.
This desire to achieve an ideal often takes a pathological form and can cause nervous breakdown. “There is no limit to perfection,” so a perfectionist is rarely satisfied with the result. He is not able to rejoice in the present, because he is haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction, imperfection and an endless search for the ideal.
Living more simply means learning to accept the world as it is.
Fears
Very often we become hostage to fears. And fears, as we know, paralyze and prevent us from moving forward easily and confidently. They vary in size and appearance. This could be fears for loved ones, fear of making a mistake, failing, being judged, etc. Regardless of the motive, fear always brings destruction, stagnation, and apathy. That is, depression.
Let’s deal with everything in order in order to objectively assess our capabilities and the obstacles to their implementation.
Your own line
Although our life is full of problems and unpleasant situations, it is very important to have your own line and stick to it in any situation. What does this mean? Even every negative event will not necessarily lead to a hopeless situation; you must be able to adapt to the flow of life. No one is asking you to just accept it - allow yourself to be an ordinary person who knows how to accept and overcome difficulties. Well, you didn’t achieve what you wanted today, but completely different opportunities may open up before you!
There is no suitable job, maybe you should try doing something diametrically opposite. After all, as we know, when one door closes, another immediately opens. If you have no luck in your personal life yet, it doesn’t matter, maybe an absolutely amazing person awaits you in the future. It is important to really understand the existing problems, and not the situations you have imagined. You need to “bend your line”, while you yourself need to become more loyal and flexible! This will be difficult to do at first. Start with the little things: your job is not satisfying, change your attitude towards it! After all, this is not the main activity in life, switch to your family, spend more time with your family. This will bring you emotional release and lift your spirits. If you dream of traveling, but don’t have the funds, it’s okay, go to a neighboring city and just take a walk, admire the beauty and understand that you can entertain yourself in different ways.
Going with the flow does not mean wallowing in your failures. This is just a way to quickly reach new opportunities without breaking your neck!
Simplicity at home
Surprisingly, order in the house puts thoughts in order, takes away worries and worries . It's time to empty your home for joy and sunshine. To do this, you need to clean it of unnecessary things.
Conduct an audit of your wardrobe, cabinets, and shelves. Surely you will find many things that have not been used for a long time, but lie as dead weight. Give away these things, donate clothes to the temple, give books to the library. Choose moderation over hoarding.
PS
To understand how to approach life more simply, you just need to not perceive everything as more than it is. It is necessary to cultivate a positive worldview, soberly assess the situation and your capabilities. Doing crazy things is not shameful, and sometimes even useful. It's okay to make mistakes. Change your thinking, be open to everything new, listen to others, but live with your heart. And you won’t notice how the space around you will change, and your life will become freer and easier.
We're not thinking about it
It seemed to us that they looked at us askance, and now we are almost building a conspiracy theory in our heads: the boss wants to fire us, the employees are plotting, etc. It’s no better if a passerby looks at us with a smile - we immediately come up with an idea that there was something wrong with our hair or clothes that made him laugh so much. And the mood for the whole day is ruined.
If we think about ourselves that we see through others and know what they are thinking or feeling at the moment, we are probably mistaken. The passerby was most likely smiling in his own thoughts, while the employee might simply be in a bad mood. By thinking for others, we exaggerate our role in the lives of other people, because everyone is primarily occupied with themselves.
If we are too worried about some omissions in a relationship, then it is better to delicately ask what caused them, rather than worry in silence. No wonder they say that the shortest path is the straight one.
How to attract money? Don't care technique
First of all, you need to decide - how much do you actually need? Have you decided? Write down the amount in a notepad and read on.
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The presence of at least one of the listed points is your obstacle on the path to wealth:
- Self-pity.
- Habit of borrowing.
- The habit of spending more than your earnings.
- Greed, stinginess.
- Measuring any life values exclusively in money.
- Ignoring the benefits of long, meticulous work in favor of immediate gains.
- Exhausting yourself with a job you hate.
- Constantly comparing your own and others' achievements.
- Complaints about life into every grateful ear.
- Exaltation of one’s own person over “second-class” people and other circles.
None of the points fit? Then feel free to decide on your occupation for the next few years, compare the amount written in your notebook with the chosen occupation and go ahead. Does not work? Re-read the points again.
Let's not generalize
Having suffered several failures one after another, we mentally reward ourselves with the title of failure. And by fixating on failures, we again set ourselves up for a negative result, thereby complicating our lives.
Moreover, for some reason, grievances from defeats remain in our memory much longer than the joy from achievements.
In order not to forget about all the good things that have happened in our lives, we can keep a diary where we note our achievements and pleasant life moments, no matter how insignificant. In difficult moments, these recordings will make us smile and help restore peace of mind.
Don't set yourself up for negativity
The Brothers Grimm have a fairy tale called "Clever Elsa". The young girl, whom those around her considered unusually sensible, saw the future in gloomy tones and infected those around her with her mood. For example, going down into the cellar, she noticed a pickaxe left by the builders, and fantasized about how she would get married, give birth to a child, and then he would be killed by this pickaxe, which would fall on him from the wall. Drawing such gloomy pictures of the future in her head, she burst into burning tears. Elsa did get married, but never gave birth to a child, because she first went crazy and ran away from the village.
By the way, in psychiatry there is a concept - “smart Elsa syndrome.” They call it a state of obsessive anxiety about the future, which is seen in pessimistic terms.
But, probably, in everyone’s environment there is more than one person who sees the future in a gloomy light or predicts a negative result for any action. And thus, he poisons not only his own life with pessimism, but also the lives of friends and loved ones. If this quality is inherent in us, then we quickly get rid of it.
Easy to use
Stop thinking about your work productivity, goals, meetings, important to-do lists. Take time management principles and creating an ideal workspace out of your head. Focus on the things that really matter. Be in the present moment.
When you simplify an action or process, peace of mind comes to you . And the calmer and simpler life is, the more harmonious it is and the more open it is to fresh ideas, new beginnings and positive results . Success begins to come by itself in a calm and liberated space. Just work every day and enjoy it.
Attracting health - the philosophy of a don’t care
- The truth - laughter prolongs life is known even to children. Positive thoughts can work wonders. The scheme is simple.
- We replace the attitude “everything is bad, depression, stress, inaction, negative thinking” with “positive, constructive, decisive, result-oriented.”
- The attitude – “noodles from packets, a joke with him, with caries, and eight hours of sleep is a luxury” – is changed to “healthy eating, good sleep, timely treatment.”
Photo by Unsplash
You can’t buy health – it’s not for nothing that they say so. And all great earnings are dust compared to health and its role in life. First we work to spend money on pleasure. Having earned money, we understand that these pleasures are already contraindicated for us due to health reasons. Only by really working on yourself can you achieve results.
How to approach life more simply: 5 tips
Sometimes it happens that there is no end to the series of problems. It becomes as if it is impossible to stop the endless stream of anxious thoughts. Each event is depicted in the imagination as extremely important; someone's views and assessments seem to determine the entire further course of life. How to treat everything more simply, without letting any little thing or someone’s remark pass through you? Let's look at a few practical methods.
Determine your motivation
In order to become a little thicker-skinned for your own good, you need to clearly understand the benefits of such a life position. Firstly, by paying excessive attention to undeserving people or events, you automatically forget about the most important things - about loved ones, about your own home, health, well-being. Thus, not taking everything to heart means being able to separate important things from unimportant ones.
Secondly, peace of mind has another significant advantage. When a person treats everything that happens in life more or less evenly, then no matter what storms in life encroach on his calm, he will always have the strength and energy to solve problems. After all, if life is really full of difficulties, then worry and anxiety about every issue only depletes your strength, depriving you of the energy that is so necessary at this very moment.
How to remain calm in any situation?
Learn to manage your emotions and attention
This step is fundamental to being able to cope with all the events happening around you. When you are in an unfavorable life situation - and it is in such situations that you can often hear the advice “not to take everything to heart” - you need to remember one important thing. Most often, people around them are looking for their own benefit. And if such events happen around you that you can’t stop thinking about them day or night, perhaps someone’s deepest interests are involved in this problem. This is not always obvious at first glance.
In order to approach life more simply and not be a puppet in the hands of acquaintances, colleagues, or superiors, you must, first of all, learn to manage yourself. How to do it? First of all, through willpower training. Even if a certain problem is trying to absorb the entire amount of attention at the moment, with a strong-willed effort it is necessary to direct its focus to other things.
For many, pets are a true source of joy. Cats or dogs - whoever likes which pets more - will always share their positive energy and help restore the balance of power. It is necessary to learn to pay attention to pleasant things, no matter how great the temptation to fall into anxiety or obsessively grinding the same situation in your thoughts.
Use self-hypnosis
If consciousness continually “clings” to what is happening around, in this case it is necessary to use the traditional Russian mantra. Within the framework of censorship, it will sound something like “fuck it all.” Use this expression several times a day, especially when thoughts about certain situations or people begin to enter your head. Despite its apparent simplicity, this point is an integral part of working on yourself.
After all, only by “unloading” yourself from unnecessary worries and worries can you learn to devote your time and energy to what is truly valuable. Using this phrase (or any other convenient variation of it), you can teach your subconscious to react to what is happening to a much lesser extent.
Find the good in everything
Perhaps one of the most important points. As Baron Munchausen said, the stupidest things are done with a serious expression on your face. If you know how to find small joys every day, and be grateful for what you have at the moment, your life position will gradually transform into one that is perceived as an easy attitude to what is happening. Seriousness is often a companion to depression and unresolved problems. Optimism, the ability to enjoy little things and gratitude, on the contrary, are characteristic of those who take things more simply.
Find your true goals
Worrying about little things and being too “serious” about current events is often a consequence of a general unsettled life, a poor understanding of one’s desires, needs and goals. In order to avoid giving your mental and emotional energy to undeserving things, you need to determine your true priorities. In order to achieve truly important and significant goals, you will have to make an effort every day - and this in itself can occupy a restless mind.
How to determine your purpose in life: 8 ideas
Use affirmations
Positive statements can be written on sticky notes and posted in all visible places. Affirmations should be changed - after a week or two, it is advisable to surround yourself with new statements. Thus, every time you, for example, stand in front of a mirror or open the refrigerator, you will automatically receive a dose of positivity. The most inspiring statements can be written on small pieces of paper and taken with you.
Clean up the apartment
Global cleaning is a good way to organize your thoughts. Minor cleaning also contributes to this goal. It’s worth doing it in every free minute. By freeing your reality from junk, you can quickly feel freer and happier. Often when people are depressed, their homes are not in the best shape. Turn your home into a place where you want to be, and not from where, on the contrary, you want to escape. Cleaning and decorating the interior to your liking will help distract you and streamline your perception.
And, finally, the most important advice is to rely only on your own strengths, since it is impossible to learn to relate to everything more simply without having what is called an inner core. Of course, many things can play a really important role in our lives. But if we develop a life position based on internal strength, external circumstances lose a significant part of their influence.
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Bad habits
We will not talk here about smoking, alcohol and other addictions, but about such phenomena as envy, irritability, gossip. These too have become bad habits of most people. Becoming their hostage means wasting your time. And we only have one life. And is it worth wasting it on such nasty little things? All three phenomena are interconnected and give rise to one another. As a rule, they arise because a person is dissatisfied with his life, but, trying to compensate for his own failures, he goes to great lengths in order to denigrate his neighbor. But this doesn’t make his life any brighter. Constant surveillance and gossip about other people's lives destroy our own. If your neighbor is so bad, is it worth it?
