What is anger and how to experience the emotion profitably - is it normal to be angry?

Human anger is a negative emotional outburst that is a harbinger of aggression. It can literally burst a person from the inside. Strong anger is often characterized by negative emotions with a flow of destructive energy, marked by a shutdown of the ability to analyze actions. The sudden manifestation of such behavior in an individual causes bewilderment among the people around him, as well as anxiety in the person himself.

Anger is an emotion, often of an aggressive nature, directed towards something or someone with the goal of destruction, suppression, subjugation (usually inanimate objects). Often the reaction of this negative emotion is short-lived. During an emotional outburst, a person’s facial muscles tense; the body becomes like a stretched string; teeth and fists are clenched, the face begins to burn; there is a feeling as if something is “boiling” inside, while there is no control over the mind.

What is anger

The definition of anger in psychology is closely associated with aggression. Anger is considered its previous stage, after which a person can fall into real rage.

Anger is a reaction in which dissatisfaction or indignation arises about an event or phenomenon. Often a person's instinctive desire is to destroy an inanimate object that causes him anger. Usually the emotion is short-lived.

Diagnostics

To determine the cause of uncontrollable outbursts of anger, you should consult a doctor. You should first visit a therapist. He learns about the symptoms accompanying such a condition. He will then refer the patient to a specialist. Consultation with an endocrinologist, neurologist, psychiatrist or psychologist may be required.

The doctor will determine how long ago certain symptoms began and how often they occur. Also, the medical specialist should ask what kind of life the person leads, what kind of rest and work schedule he has, and whether there are any bad habits. An important factor is the psycho-emotional situation in the patient’s life. It is also important to establish whether the patient has chronic psychiatric illnesses.

An MRI of the brain may be needed to determine the cause of the outbursts. The doctor will prescribe a general blood test, urine test, and biochemical blood test. You may need to do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland and donate blood to check hormone levels. After carrying out the necessary diagnostics, it is possible to establish why such attacks occur and develop an effective strategy to combat them.

Only by identifying the true cause and curing the underlying disease can attacks of aggression be suppressed.

Reasons for anger

The emotion of anger is familiar to absolutely everyone. People can also become irritated for various reasons.

What is the purpose of the emotion?

The feeling of anger is a very valuable emotion that:

1. Helps you define and defend your personal boundaries. If the boundaries of personality are blurred, then everyone will do literally what they want with a person and his property. The feeling of anger helps both the person himself and the people around him, it shows that certain lines cannot be crossed.
2. Mobilizes the body's resources to protect against dangers. If there were no anger, a person would calmly watch as an angry street dog grabbed his leg.
3. Relaxes the body. Anger is a way to throw out accumulated negative emotions.
4. Helps make the world a little better. If a person notices injustice (for example, they offend the weak), he experiences anger and comes to the rescue.
5. Lets a person know that he is strong and can stand up for himself. It is believed that people who can become angry in a situation of threat towards them have better control over their destiny and realize their own needs.
6. Forms a more positive outlook on what is happening. Long thoughts about one’s own insignificance and remaining in a depressed state only destroy a person. This concentration is built on failure. It is much more useful to throw out your anger and get down to business with renewed vigor.
7. Makes work more efficient and productive. Anger works well in a situation when a person thinks something like this: “Well, I’ll still prove to this boss that I’m a good worker! Today I will do everything perfectly, and he will no longer dare to scold me in front of other employees!” It is not healthy to constantly follow such a motto. But using it as an impulse for action is fine.
8. Improves a person's psychological state. Many people spend energy and resources on taming emotions. It will be much more productive to throw out anger in a safe way, without redirecting aggression towards yourself or others.

Have you ever been able to benefit or benefit from anger? Be sure to share your experience in the comments.

A detailed video about anger from psychotherapist Elena Boyarskaya, a description of physiological processes in the body, the production of hormones. The video has practice and many examples.

What does the emotion of anger look like - physical effects

It has been scientifically established that when a person experiences anger, his body begins to produce more of the hormone adrenaline. The sympathetic nervous system is in increased tone.

Blood sugar also begins to be produced faster, which causes the liver to work harder.

Individually, people may experience temporary changes in the functioning of some internal organs. This usually depends on the general condition of the body.

Visually, a person in anger looks like:

• tense facial muscles;
• the body involuntarily stretches;
• teeth and fists clenched;
• blood suddenly rushes to the face;
• cheeks begin to “burn” and tingle;
• the mind is difficult to control (often there is no control at all).

Stages and types of anger

The feeling of anger is a rather general concept. There are different types and manifestations of it.

The feeling of anger does not begin suddenly; a person has to go through several stages to fully achieve it.

Hidden anger

Hidden anger occurs in a person when he realizes that he cannot influence the situation himself. The feeling also arises in the opposite case. For example, when a person understands that he can protect himself and defend his own interests.

People who are naturally apathetic rarely experience feelings of anger, because their energy is at a fairly low level.

Stage of emotional arousal

The person realizes the seriousness of the problem. There is a need to throw out accumulated feelings and announce them to the world.

There is a high risk of lashing out at innocent people or your relatives nearby.

Wave of uncontrollable anger

In a fit of anger, a person may cry, scream, become hysterical, stomp his feet or actively gesticulate. Some, on the contrary, prefer to remain silent and withdraw into themselves. Their main task is to hide their own anger, try to cope with it, and remain in the eyes of others as a “good and cultured person.” This takes away a lot of mental and moral strength and resources from them, so the stage of living the emotion can stretch out and become painful.

There are a number of people who, in anger, begin to blame others for all their problems. In their opinion, those around them are completely devoid of a sense of compassion, do not understand anything and do not want to help. Such thoughts only add wood to the fire of negative emotions.

Decay stage of rage

After the manifestation of anger and all negative attacks, the person calms down. Inevitably, he comes to the understanding that difficulties happen and they can be solved. A plan begins to mature in my head on how to return life to its previous course.

Attention! If you do not allow yourself to experience negative emotions, you may experience prolonged depression.

Anger - Psychotherapy for everyone - a site for smart people (site of psychotherapist Alexander Prokazov)

Anger is the most toxic emotion

Subjective experiences of anger Anger is experienced by a person as a rather unpleasant feeling.
In anger, a person feels that his blood is “boiling,” his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The mobilization of energy is so great that a person thinks that he will explode if he does not somehow give vent to his anger. Consciousness narrows. The person is absorbed in the object towards which the anger is directed, and does not see anything around. Perception is limited, the functioning of memory, imagination, and thinking is disorganized. In a situation of anger, a complex of emotions associated with it dominates: disgust (rejection of harmful objects) and contempt (the experience of victory over an opponent as the source of this emotion). Anger and sadness (an emotion that arises as a reaction to the failure of hopes, the inability to achieve a desired goal) are activated by similar shifts in neural activity, and the role of sadness is that it reduces the intensity of anger and the associated emotions of disgust and contempt. When a person is angry, anger suppresses fear. The feeling of physical strength and self-confidence (which is at a higher level than in any other emotionally negative situation) fills a person with courage and courage. High levels of muscle tension (strength), self-confidence and impulsiveness generate a readiness to attack or other forms of physical activity. Functions of anger Anger is one of the main, fundamental emotions. Anger has played a large role in the survival of humans as a species. It increases a person’s ability to self-defense and aggressive behavior, but as a person evolved, he was faced with a wide variety of obstacles that he had to overcome. However, as civilization developed, people began to experience less and less need for physical self-defense, and this function of anger was gradually reduced. A modern person should be able to use anger for his own good and the good of those close to him. He often has to defend himself psychologically, and moderate, regulated anger, mobilizing energy, can help him defend his rights. In this case, his indignation will benefit not only him, but also the violator of the law or rules established by society, endangering others. On the other hand, inadequate hostility brings suffering not only to the victim, but also to the aggressor. Therefore, this process must be regulated and hostility must not be allowed to cross the permitted boundaries, otherwise the person will be punished with feelings of shame and guilt. Moderate, controlled anger can be used to suppress fear. Possible positive consequences of anger: awareness of one's own mistakes, awareness of one's own strength, strengthening relationships with a former enemy. The latter has long been noted by psychotherapists, who advise people who are angry at each other to “keep the channels of communication open” (C.E. Izard). If a person freely expresses his anger, talks about the reasons that caused it, and allows the interlocutor to respond in kind, then he gains the opportunity to get to know his partner better and thereby strengthens his relationship with him. Communication between people is destroyed by verbal aggression if the person feeling angry strives to “win” his partner at any cost. Some scientists believe that personality develops precisely through conflicts and crises. A person rises to new levels of development, accepting the challenges that circumstances throw at him. Crises and their overcoming allow a person to understand himself more deeply. The experience and expression of anger (not to be confused with manifestations of aggression) can have positive consequences in cases where a person maintains sufficient control over himself. However, it must be remembered that any manifestation of anger is associated with some risk. Causes of anger The feeling of physical and psychological lack of freedom, as a rule, causes the emotion of anger in a person. People often become angry at all sorts of rules and regulations, which make them feel constrained by conventions and unable to achieve the desired goal. Any obstacle to achieving a goal can cause anger. The source of anger can also be irritating stimulation: unexpected pain, bad odors, exposure to high temperatures, hunger, fatigue, discomfort, etc. It happens that anger causes prolonged sadness. Feelings of disgust may be accompanied by anger. Anger is often accompanied by other feelings, the triad of hostility: anger, disgust, contempt. Anger can also interact with the emotions of guilt and fear (the more fear, the less anger, and vice versa). The source of anger can be the thought of a mistake, injustice, or undeserved insult. Anger, for example, is caused by insults. Moreover, what plays a role here is not so much the actions themselves, but their interpretation, which causes anger (in the one who interprets these actions). Some actions cause a person to feel angry towards himself, while others activate anger directed at those around him. Anger is contagious. Induced anger arises in the process of perceiving external manifestations of a partner’s anger. Thus, anger, like any other emotion, can be activated by actions, thoughts, and feelings (K.E. Izard). Anger and Aggression Aggression refers to verbal and physical actions of an offensive or harmful nature. Whether anger will lead to aggressive actions or not depends on a number of individual characteristics of the individual and the situation in which he finds himself. Aggressive behavior is caused by a number of factors. The emotion of anger does not necessarily give rise to aggressive behavior. Most people, when experiencing anger, most often suppress or significantly weaken the tendency to act, both verbal and physical. Anger creates a readiness to act, but does not force action. However, frequent experiences of anger increase the likelihood of certain forms of aggressive behavior. The behavior of the aggressor is influenced by the very fact of the physical presence or absence of the victim. Hostility can be softened by those toward whom it is directed, either by expressions of threat or by expressions of submission. In some cases, people can prevent an attack from a potential aggressor by demonstrating fear and submission and avoiding threatening behavior. In other cases, on the contrary, the expression of a threat can prevent the further development of aggression. However, if the potential aggressor perceives himself as a winner, then the manifestation of anger on the part of the potential victim can provoke even greater aggression. Neither expressions of anger nor manifestations of aggression depend on age, which allows us to consider them as personality traits. The level of aggressiveness appears to be an innate characteristic of an individual and, as the individual matures, becomes a stable personality trait. Aggression is often associated with sexual potency. Many people view aggression as a sign of masculinity. However, this relationship is determined not only by biological, but also by cultural factors. The anger experienced by patients and medical workers Patients experience pain, discomfort, feel restrictions in their professional and personal lives due to their ill health, and are often tormented by the thought: “Why do I need all this? It's not fair! They often believe that doctors do not want or, due to their low qualifications, do not know how to alleviate their situation, and direct their anger at them. The patient is convinced that he is obliged to be cured in this medical institution or referred to another. Here the source of anger is the belief that doctors can alleviate suffering, but for some reason they do not. If he had admitted that doctors are doing everything possible under these conditions and are currently unable to do more, then perhaps he would not feel angry. Patients have many reasons to feel anger, and it does not always arise from the behavior of the nurse, although it is very often directed at her. The nurse needs to understand this. On the one hand, she needs to monitor her behavior so as not to actualize anger in her patients, and on the other hand, if the patient is angry with her, then she should not succumb to feelings of guilt. The reason for the patient's anger is the situation in which he finds himself. It is important not to become infected by the patient’s anger, not to respond with anger to anger (“I try, I do everything I can, the salary is insignificant, and he is still dissatisfied!”), otherwise you can get into a vicious circle, from which it is very difficult to get out. Patient anger is common (in a statistical sense), no matter how well cared for. However, if attacks of uncontrollable anger become more frequent (and this is dangerous for his own health), then the nurse's regulated anger can reduce the level of anger he experiences (by activating feelings of fear). And the nurse has many reasons for anger. But she's a professional. And if the patient does not always know how to control her emotions, then she must be able to do something with them, while protecting her health. At the same time, the nurse can use anger for the benefit of the patient. For example, if he is feeling excessively sad or afraid, it can be helpful to make him angry to get him out of his depression. The nurse must develop self-protective abilities in order to control her anger, not become infected by the anger of others, and develop appropriate social skills for this. Consequences of suppressing external manifestations of anger A ban on manifestations (facial expressions, intonation, verbal aggression, etc.) of the emotion of anger can disrupt an individual’s adaptation and interfere with clarity of thinking. A person who constantly suppresses his anger and is unable to adequately express it is at risk for psychosomatic disorders (Holit, 1970). Unexpressed anger is considered by psychoanalysts as an etiological factor (although not the only one) of diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraines, Raynaud's disease and hypertension. How to control your anger Do not judge your anger. It activates impulses emanating from our being. In a state of anger, a wave of energy rushes in search of a way out. It can not only be contained (chronic containment is dangerous to health), but also transformed. It is important that a person manages his anger, rather than anger controlling a person. Technologies aimed at controlling one's emotions, in particular anger, are relevant. Expressing anger and related behavior can be constructive if a person gripped by anger wants to establish, restore or maintain positive relationships with others. He must show others how he perceives the situation and how it makes him feel. It is important to express your feelings sincerely and unambiguously. This form of behavior creates the possibility of open two-way communication in which there can be no “loser.” However, such communication is possible if the level of anger does not go off scale. It is useful to use rapid methods to reduce the level of tension caused by anger. So, if anger generates aggression, and sadness generates empathy, then by inducing in an angry person sympathy for the victim (stimulating his feelings of sadness) or fear (threatening him), we can thereby reduce the level of his situational aggressiveness. Anger involves preparing the body for physical action, which means you need to offer the body physical release. Physical activity in this case returns the body to a state of balance. You can also use meditative techniques aimed at relaxing the body. Rational nutrition, sleep, and body hygiene help reduce the intensity of the anger experienced. It is useful to make a list of people whose anger causes you induced anger and avoid contact with them. Reflections: “How would I feel if I were the victim of my aggression?” tame anger; thought: “If I were not overwhelmed by anger, how would I most rationally behave in this difficult situation for me?” models behavior for the future. Thinking through the questions: “Because of what desire of mine was blocked, did I begin to feel angry? What obstacles prevent me from satisfying this desire? “dissolves” anger. Everyone has their own techniques that are useful for them to tame their anger. You can ask how colleagues deal with their anger at work, how they protect themselves when in the presence of an angry person. The technique of self-observation, awareness of one’s anger (paying attention to how anger arises, unfolds, and ends), which stops the release of anger hormones into the body, is also useful. Nadezhda TVOROGOVA, Doctor of Psychology, Professor of MMA named after. I.N. Sechenov. Is it worth holding back your emotions?
Holding back your emotions can lead to serious health problems.
Studies have shown that suppressing emotions leads to increased blood pressure, a depleted immune system and increased sensitivity to pain. Such people are in distress, often begin to abuse alcohol or drugs and regard others as their enemies, finding various reasons to justify themselves. Thus, the process of suppressing emotions leads to a change in the mental and physical state of a person. Therefore, experts on emotions recommend not to suppress emotions, say, anger or aggressiveness, but to learn to transform them in a positive direction, say, perseverance. In reality, a person experiences anger and/or negative emotions every day, but their positive transformation helps to realize these feelings in a socially acceptable context with the least energy costs for the person himself. In this case, the negative effect of suppression and repression of emotions will not be realized. Moreover, according to experts, the manifestation (realization) of negative emotions in a controlled manner is even necessary and brings physiological and psychological processes into balance. Negative emotions are useful if you know how to express them in a controlled manner.
Uncontrolled anger can only cause harm to yourself and others, but the ability to express negative emotions in a controlled manner helps to achieve greater success, according to researchers from Harvard.
American scientists conducted a study in which they observed a group of 824 people over 44 years of age. Those who were accustomed to experiencing in silence and not expressing their emotions were three times more likely to claim that they had already reached the ceiling of their careers. The head of the project, Professor George Valliant, argues that it is generally accepted that anger is a very dangerous emotion and, in order to cope with it, it is recommended to train “positive thinking”, which eradicates anger. Scientists have discovered that this approach is incorrect and, in the end, turns against the person himself. Negative emotions such as fear and anger are innate and have enormous significance, experts say. According to scientists, negative emotions are very important in order to survive. Professor Valliant, who is director of the Study of Adult Development, which published the research, points out that uncontrolled anger is destructive. We all experience anger, but people who know how to vent their rage while avoiding the severe consequences of unbridled outbursts have greater results in terms of emotional growth and mental health, says the professor. Anger and aggression are harmful to a man's heart.
Expressions of anger and hostility towards others are significantly associated with a high risk of coronary heart disease in healthy men and lead to poor cardiac outcomes.
Cardiologists at University College London (UK) found that feelings of anger and aggression increased the likelihood of coronary heart disease by 19 and 24% among healthy men and men with diagnosed heart problems, respectively. It has been noticed that negative emotions more often harm the functioning of the male heart, rather than the female one. Doctors at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, who also took part in the study, believe that stressful daily life conditions have detrimental effects on men's heart health and have a significant impact on the development of chronic diseases in the future. According to them, psychological factors play a significant role in the progression of cardiac ischemia, leading to dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system and increasing inflammatory processes due to the activity of C-reactive protein, interleukin-6, cortisol and fibrinogen. Men should seriously take into account the data received and try to control their emotions, doctors convince. Anger management.
Revelation of an experienced aggressor Denis Dubravin School of Emotional Intelligence Probably no other topic arouses as much interest and enthusiasm as the topic of anger management. “You need to see a psychologist” or “Go get treatment!” is a common prescription for a person who has problems with feelings of anger. For as long as I can remember, I have always experienced this feeling. Breakdowns occurred regularly, my emotional nature did not find a place or constructive ways to express this energy. In this regard, I regularly fell into various brawls in which I did not always go out the winner. Then I began to engage in martial arts, as I understood that without this my bursts of aggression would not have the right result. After several years of training at school, the Tiger Dragon, under the guidance of my teacher Alexander Sivak, unexpectedly saw for myself that my ardor began to fade and appear awareness and the ability to control the course of thoughts and feelings. Further, it remained to arrange this developing in knowledge and reinforce the effectiveness of practice. I will not say that I completely got rid of this feeling, I think that this is impossible. However, during this time he acquired a number of useful beliefs and technicians that help me in a variety of life situations. Interesting? Then read on. I propose to move in order, since it is the right order, there is a key to success in curbing this feeling :) If a person experiences anger, this suggests that he does not satisfy any important needs. Anger is a destructive feeling that gives a person a lot of energy. Negative energy begins to literally whip through the edge, narrowing the consciousness and adequate perception of reality, at the sight of an object of anger or mentioning it. At first, as a rule, but not always, there is a feeling of irritation, which turns into indignation, then into anger, and, finally, in rage. Anger mobilizes a person’s energy, inspires a sense of confidence and strength into him, suppresses fear. Anger creates readiness for action. Perhaps, in no other state, a person does not feel himself as strong and brave as in anger. In anger, a person feels that he has “boils blood”, his face burns, the muscles are tense. The feeling of his own power prompts him to rush forward, to attack the offender. And the stronger his anger, the greater the need for physical action, the more strong and energetic a person feels. The blessed of emotions is an evolutionarily earlier mechanism for regulating behavior than the mind. Therefore, they choose simpler ways to solve life situations. E.I. Golovakha, N.V. Panina anger is an emotion from the category of affects, which means that it can develop in a short time in a sense of rage, which is inherently very destructive and difficult to control. Therefore, control over this feeling must be at the time of its occurrence. “If the emotion was allowed, it goes free.” No. Kozlov If anger is not reacted outside, it does not disappear. Being “swallowed”, he transforms into resentment, irritation, apathy, etc. D. Psychosomatic diseases such as diabetes can also occur, two of the most common diseases associated with suppression of anger. What is the cause of anger? 1. The main reason for the occurrence of anger is the infliction of pain. This is a natural reaction of the body, which is brought by evolution to automatism. 2. Unges can be a consequence of other feelings. For example, after a feeling of sadness, shame, fear. In this case, we can talk about a response to emotional pain. 3. Anger can arise from your thoughts. For example, your assessment of the actions of another person. This may be an unfair attitude to something, deception, violation of agreements or a manifestation of disrespect. The issue of anger management is a matter of correct beliefs and tools that help regulate this feeling. In order for an anger management to become the norm, it is necessary to remember several basic rules: 12 basic rules, to manage anger 1. Make a decision to take control of anger. Only by taking responsibility, you can begin to bring changes to life. You also designate what you need to manage this feeling, what opportunities and positive moments will appear thanks to this in your life. 2. Sustainable self -esteem. Attrace the attacks in your direction as useful information. Do not take everything to heart. Find a reliable foundation for your self -esteem. 3. Sports. Sports and any physical activity serve as an excellent preventive agent against anger. Moreover, you will learn to endure pain and tension, and this will give you additional points in mastering this feeling. 4. Recognize the harbinger. Try to observe yourself when you are annoyed: you can notice that your lips, jaws or fists are clenched, shoulders are tense, eyebrows are frowning, etc. Learning to recognize the early harbingers of the impending “storm”, you win the time and will manage to do something. 5. Learning to think in a new way. Our feelings are a reflection of our thoughts. For example, if you are used to thinking in a conflict situation something like “Well, everything, I can’t! I just can't stand it! How much this can continue!? ”, Your emotional sphere reacts to such thoughts by an explosion of negative energy. 6. tolerance and acceptance. One of the most destructive beliefs for our lives (in most cases of unconscious) is that everything should be as we want and immediately. Try to tell yourself more often that other people are not in order to match your expectations about them. And also, that events can develop according to their scenario, regardless of what you think “correctly” and “wrong”. 7. Soften the blow. To tell yourself in difficult moments, for example, when someone criticizes you or the neighbor is repairs: "It acts on my nerves, but this is not fatal." You will feel your own strength, and you will take unpleasant events calmer. 8. Reduce the requirements for others. Do not demand perfection from people. Highlight the main thing, priority for you, your life and your happiness. The constant "fishing" poisons the life of both you and others. Instead, think about what is really important to you. 9. Execution. “He does it on purpose to get me” - do not attribute bad motives to people: they are either not true or one -sided. Even if a person really plotes the thin one, then “he does it because he is unhappy, dislike and do not understand” - as a rule, it turns out to be no less true than the previous assessment. 10. Guide management is largely the art of compassion. Change mentally places, look at the situation with his eyes. What do you see? Feel what he feels. What do you feel? Develop the ability in a conflict situation to remember good about a person. At least it will be objectively. “And all the same to me with him (with her) good - what are only the pies that she bakes (the evening that we spent yesterday, etc.)! 11. Humor. A good joke is able to quickly discharge the situation. Think about how you could joke in typical situations “warming” you, and train to use your “home blanks”. Inventing jokes when you are much more difficult. 12. The result will come gradually. Anger management skills should be distinguished from knowledge about anger management skills. Their acquisition requires time and training. You can know how to ride a bicycle, but do not be able to do this until you start trying, and most importantly - do not continue to try, despite the inevitable failures. Do not treat yourself too strictly: none of us is perfect. Disruptions will certainly be, but less and less if you continue self -learning. Do not rush and do not reproach yourself for failures. Do not give up, and then everything will work out. Many people dramatically changed their lives, having learned only a three-four of the methods of manual management I described, including me. And you can. Based on materials: Alexander Kuznetsov, in addition to the general principles that will help you master the feeling of anger, it is important to have a working instruction at hand, which, when working out (at least 5-10 times), will be able to become your skill and protect it from a large number of problems. So: 1. Recognition of himself that he was angry. Say out loud: “I was very angry/angry! Recognition is necessary to ensure further, reasonable management of your emotions. 2. Use the technique of stop. When you feel that the level of anger is increasing, mentally tell yourself “Stop. After that, wait 5-10 seconds. At the moment when your emotions are ready to explode and burst into the storm on the offender, you get precious time to make the right decision in this situation. 3. Inhale deeply several times. This will help restore the breath and rhythm of the heart. And also “ground” and again feel contact with the body. “To release steam”, in simple language. 4. Put yourself in the place of the offender. Let's look at this situation. Suppose you were in public transport. The first reaction is to give a halter in response. However, try to put yourself in the place of your offender. Maybe he has problems in the family, at work, or he is lonely and deeply unhappy. And he is not rude for pleasure, but unconsciously, due to a protective reaction to more prosperous people than himself. The understanding that someone is painful when he is angry, helps to develop compassion to face, and not react with anger. So you can take control of your negative emotions. 5. Choose several possible reaction options. The pause makes it possible to ask myself a decisive question: what result I want to get with the help of such a reaction? 6. offer a decision. Concentrate on possible solutions to the problem, and offer a person several options. Two or three options are better than one, since your opponent has a feeling of freedom of choice. Use the magic word - "Come on ...". “Let's try this ..” Remember that anger is a bad assistant in solving problems. Therefore, the best is to remain calm and balanced. When nerves are at their worst, it is better to try to keep your mouth shut. (Harris) https://www.medlinks.ru/article.php?sid=51368

The difference between anger and anger and rage

Often people consider such concepts as anger, anger and rage to be synonyms and do not see differences in them, although they exist. Essentially these are stages, or different shades.

Anger can be expressed verbally and non-verbally.

An example of verbal anger: a person swears loudly, calls names, blames others, gets into squabbles.

An example of nonverbal anger is when a person shows detachment, pride, contempt, or arrogance toward someone who they feel has done them wrong.

• Anger differs from anger in that it can be directed both at oneself and at others. A person is often angry because he was influenced by someone from his environment.
• Rage arises when a person realizes his helplessness and insecurity. Often this state looks like passive aggression or a strong outburst of negative emotions.

Core values ​​violated

Our values ​​are what is important to us at a deep level. Core values ​​can be: justice, loyalty, freedom, independence, family, adventure and others. Emotions are strongly associated with them.

When we live our values, we experience a sense of pride and deep satisfaction. When we go against them, we may experience feelings of shame or anger. It is anger that often indicates that we or another person have violated life principles that are important to us.

Try to understand what important values ​​you are neglecting and bring your life back into balance in accordance with them.

The Unobvious Benefits of Anger

Many people realize that all emotions, including negative ones, must be lived through. Anger provides psychological release and promotes purification; you can read about this above in the “Purposes of Anger” section. But at the same time, there are many other, unobvious benefits from anger:

1. Helps to persuade the interlocutor in your favor. If a person is angry, then the interlocutor unconsciously fears him, quickly agrees to his conditions, and accepts his point of view. Of course, you shouldn’t constantly resort to this technique, but it exists.
2. Allows a person to become more successful in his career. Someone who openly and reasonably expresses dissatisfaction will be promoted or their salary will be raised faster, rather than remaining silent for fear of ruining relationships in the team.
3. Increases the duration and quality of life. Hot Spaniards and Italians live much longer than calm Englishmen or prim Germans. Showing your true emotions, including anger, is very good for your health. People who contain them within themselves are more susceptible to heart attacks, strokes, hypertensive crises, and oncology.
4. Reduces crime rates. Previously, it was believed that playing violent computer games forces a person to repeat the same thing in reality. New research has found that teenagers who play bloody shooting games show much lower levels of aggression than their peers who don't play.
5. Develops creativity. If you can’t do, write or come up with something, then you should get really angry. In a state of anger and emotional arousal, a person generates ideas much better.
6. Capable of strengthening relationships. A person who shows mercy, constantly forgives and justifies everyone, is more likely to be offended again. Forgiveness does not help resolve the conflict, but only deepens and reopens emotional wounds. Sometimes it is useful to express anger and show clearly why your partner’s behavior is unacceptable.
7. Makes the brain work more intensely. When a person is angry, he can begin to perceive information better, evaluate it from different angles, and quickly come to the right decision.
8. Helps to be honest. If a person is unfairly accused of something, then sooner or later, in a fit of anger, he will get angry. This technique often helps police officers understand whether the person in front of them is really innocent, or whether he is carefully hiding something.

Of course, we are talking about periodic anger and its ecological manifestation. Constant unconscious anger, rage, and aggression will deprive a person of these advantages.

Do you know any non-obvious benefits of anger? Be sure to share your knowledge, experience and observations in the comments.

How to express anger correctly, without harm

In a fit of anger, a person can do something stupid or something that he will greatly regret later. It is important to express anger correctly and safely for others:

1. Sit down and write your offender a long, angry and emotional letter. Don't restrain yourself in your expressions. If towards the end of the letter the anger has not gone away, then what is written can be burned or torn, representing the ill-wisher.
2. Pound a pillow, a punching bag, or even the air. Shouting obscenities is not prohibited.
3. Get yourself a special glass or jar for anger and scream into it from the bottom of your heart. But you can do without a glass.
4. Do some physical exercise or go for a run.
5. Sing at the top of your lungs some Russian folk song like “There Was a Birch Tree in the Field” or “Valenki”. Or any other, at your own discretion.
6. Tear or crumple some unnecessary notebook or written notebook.

If dialogue with another person cannot be avoided, then you need to take responsibility for what happens to you. You can ask your interlocutor for forgiveness. For example, “Sorry, I’m angry now, I can say all sorts of stupid things. Give me a few minutes, I’ll calm down, and we’ll discuss everything.”

What techniques help you deal with your own anger? Share in the comments, maybe it will help someone.

Aggression as a disease

Outbursts of anger and aggression often indicate the development of a serious illness. Moreover, in each specific case, the manifestations of such a psycho-emotional state may differ significantly. If there is no disease, the attack goes away on its own after the provoking factor is eliminated.

Hormonal imbalances are manifested by sudden changes in mood. Attacks of rage occur for no apparent reason. At the same time, a person can quickly gain weight, even if he eats no more than usual. Headaches may occur, sleep may be disturbed, and gastrointestinal disorders may occur. The person’s well-being deteriorates, and the temperature may periodically rise for no apparent reason. Women experience menstrual irregularities.

Diabetes can cause violent outbursts of anger. In addition, a person feels thirsty and his appetite worsens. Gastrointestinal disturbances are also observed, the lower extremities swell. There is a frequent urge to urinate, and incomplete emptying of the bladder is felt. In men and women, sexual desire is completely absent or reduced.

During pregnancy, similar attacks may also occur. In this case, there may be no visible provoking factor. This is not a pathology. During pregnancy, hormonal levels change rapidly. This causes outbreaks of aggression and bad mood.

With hyperthyroidism, outbursts of unmotivated aggression may occur. The person behaves nervously, he has increased excitability and imbalance. Speech becomes rapid and sometimes incoherent. A person may feel unmotivated fear, anxiety, and suffer from insomnia. At the same time, the eyeballs protrude, and there may be double vision. The pressure becomes unstable, and sometimes the temperature rises. Appetite increases, but body weight decreases.

In each specific case, specific manifestations of outbursts of anger are determined. Diagnosis should be carried out by an experienced doctor.

Frequently asked questions and answers

Why do some people get angry more often than others?

The intensity of emotions varies from person to person. There are people who have quite developed anger (for example, they were bullied at school, their parents constantly scolded them, their relationships with the opposite sex did not work out). Naturally, they will become angry more often than people who had more joy and support in their lives.

Why understand when anger arises?

Not all people are able to control their own anger, and that's okay. Often, in the heat of rage, a person gets irritated by absolutely everything, even minor things. A new wave of anger about this could only make the situation worse. It is important to understand when anger arises so that you can give yourself time to deal with it, and then move on to addressing important issues again. People, not understanding how anger manifests itself, may confuse it with shame or powerlessness. And these feelings manifest themselves in different ways. This means they require different actions.

What happens if you don't express your feelings?

The accumulation of emotions, especially negative ones, leads to psychosomatic diseases and deterioration of health. Constant anger provokes constant tension and spasms, deterioration of blood and lymph flow. If a person accumulates anger within himself for a long time, then sooner or later he may “break through.” The shock wave of anger can provoke a serious conflict, fight, or other harm to others.

Manifestation of aggressiveness

Outbursts of anger in men can be caused by certain physiological features. Hormonal imbalances are one of the most common factors of this manifestation. If a man's body produces more testosterone than is acceptable, outbursts of anger will appear. Aggression towards others will go off scale.

Sometimes this behavior is explained by a hereditary factor. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity inherited it from their medieval ancestors. During these times, they had to defend their territory. Moreover, the conflicts were very serious. If a man showed weak character, he could die himself, and at the same time all members of his family. Therefore, such behavior helped to survive. However, in the modern world such behavior is unacceptable. Therefore, aggression is a deviation in the mental sphere.

Outbursts of anger in women are also often the result of hormonal imbalances. If there are abnormalities in the female reproductive system, severe premenstrual syndrome, or other similar conditions, this can cause a woman’s aggressive behavior. More often, such behavior is observed among the fair sex before or during menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause. Hormonal disorders require proper treatment. By eliminating the root cause, such manifestations can be significantly reduced.

The nature of female aggression differs from male aggression. It is also caused by hereditary factors. A woman protects her child, so she has an outburst of aggression in moments of danger. It is also a survival factor that has been honed and passed down since ancient times.

Outbursts of rage in women and men require not only medical but also psychological treatment. However, the approach to representatives of both sexes must be specific. Physiology and factors that determine human behavior are taken into account.