Verbal and nonverbal communication are like two sides of the same process. You can say a lot with language and speech, but there are some moments that are best conveyed through body language. Knowing the possibilities of different forms of communication allows a lot. For example, to gain the favor of other people, to predict the consequences of one’s actions and their impact on others.
What is verbal communication
Under Verbal Communication
the sound language familiar to us is understood.
Human articulate speech is a special information system that is inaccessible to most animals, but has become the main means of communication for people. The concepts of “language” and “speech” seem to be synonymous, although science still distinguishes them. Language is a specific set of signs and rules for their coordination and combination. And speech is the very ability to convey information in a sound (and written) way, as well as a specific sounding “work” (conversation, speech, etc.).
Verbal communication can be carried out through the mutual exchange of information, and then it is a dialogue. It can also be carried out in the form of a monologue - a speech by one person. At the same time, the fact of communication is always realized by all its parties. That is, in order to say something in words, you need to really want it. This constitutes one of the main differences between verbal and nonverbal communication.
Verbal signs of lying
Verbal signs of lying are indicators of untruth associated with a person’s speech .
As a rule, when a person lies, he may speak phrases with certain intonations, stutter, slip of the tongue, and exhibit many other signs.
Let's list the signs that accompany verbal lies:
- Oath, piety and other attempts to prove one’s innocence.
- Reluctance to answer certain questions.
- Dismissive tone, insults.
- Demonstration of indifference.
- Regular attempts to change the subject.
In addition to these, there are many other signs of lying.
But even from the listed cases, we see a contradiction between certain actions of the person who is lying. For example, he tries to show that he is indifferent to the topic being discussed, but at the same time wants to change it. He doesn't want to answer certain questions. It is important to understand that lies are saturated with contradictions. Our task is to identify them. You need to mentally monitor a person’s speech for inconsistencies. They are always there, you just need to look for them correctly. Moreover, you need to look for inconsistencies that a person does not know about. After all, there is a high probability that the liar has planned answers to the most obvious questions. Let's take a little look at each of the verbal signs of lying.
Oath, god
Verbal lies are full of these things.
A liar wants with all his might to show his innocence and non-involvement in certain events or actions. People who tell the truth also demonstrate this, but this symptom is moderate. The person understands the situation well and is not in an emotional state. He doesn't need to swear particularly actively.
A person who lies is in fear while lying. This leads to the fact that he wants to get rid of the situation with all his might, mentally imagining his non-involvement in it. Moreover, the liar wants to prove, first of all, to himself that he is telling the truth. It's rare that someone really wants to understand themselves as a liar. People's conscience is actually quite a strong thing.
Reluctance to answer certain questions
This is also a sign that can show a liar.
After all, the topic of lies is unpleasant for him. The same criminal does not want to talk about how he committed his sinful deed. He tries to avoid the topic.
You need to understand that here, too, nothing can be said unambiguously. A person may not really answer questions because he does not know the answer to them. It is also possible that there is no lie, these topics are simply unpleasant to him. A person may ignore answers to certain questions even for the reason that he does not like unfair accusations against him. Therefore, again you need to look at the situation and be a good communicator.
Disparaging tone, insults
They can manifest themselves in a liar when he is in severe mental shock. The reason for their occurrence can be considered the same desire to prove one’s innocence, which we talked about earlier. A person thinks that rudeness will help him lie. In fact, skilled liars are always extremely calm. Otherwise, they give themselves away at once.
Demonstration of indifference
It can appear in combination with all other symptoms.
Even with rudeness. Moreover, this may look like hitting a table or door with your fist and saying, “I don’t care.” From such a reaction, even a child can understand that he wants to appear indifferent. Bad liars often react this way. Skilled liars also do this, but much better. They show their indifference not by avoiding the topic or by emotional reactions, but by willingly talking about this topic. Such lies look so organic that even a psychologist with many years of experience working in investigative institutions cannot detect it.
Indeed, how can a person be indifferent if he wants to lie? If he really didn't care, he would just tell the truth and not care about others' opinions. And too ardent a demonstration of indifference can lead to the failure of the lie operation. After all, the person is then inadequate to the situation and even to himself. He is filled with contradictions that corrode his inner world.
Regular attempts to change the subject
We have already discussed this point in previous paragraphs.
This happened for the reason that all the signs are interconnected and one follows from the other. A person may want to change the subject either as part of a demonstration of indifference or as an attempt to prove his innocence. Again, do not forget that a person can change the topic due to the fact that another topic is really more important for him than the one being discussed, and there is no lie there. As we see, verbal signs of lying are rich in their manifestations. But you don’t need to look at this article every time you want to recognize a person. After all, a liar first of all betrays inadequacy. You need to learn to see it. Read on, it will be even more interesting.
What is nonverbal communication
Under non-verbal communication
means such means of communication as facial expressions, gestures, postures, touches, intonations, changes in the circumstances of communication - that is, those that are carried out without the use of words. The human body, which has a huge number of expressive capabilities, becomes the instrument of such communication.
At the same time, “non-verbal communication” often occurs unconsciously for one or all participants in communication. “Body language” is capable of revealing even what we would not like to discover in ourselves. And the reaction to a nonverbal message also often occurs unconsciously. Meanwhile, it makes sense to learn to recognize non-speech signals in order to make the communication process more effective.
Most often, both means of communication are used simultaneously. Many people tend to gesticulate when speaking, reinforcing their words with their hands and grimaces and clarifying their meaning. In some cultures, gesturing is considered bad manners, but even there it is not possible to completely get rid of this “bad habit”.
Features of communications in men and women
As a result, nonverbal cues may be less clear and accurate, and may be misinterpreted.
According to Western scientists, the reliability of a message received through nonverbal communication does not exceed sixty percent. At the same time, it is believed that women tend to focus their attention more strongly on non-verbal signals in communication situations, and this explains why they are rightfully considered better listeners than men. Men often focus their attention on words.
Conclusion
Based on this, we can conclude that the growth of interpersonal communications using e-mail and faxes is more beneficial for men, and the strengthening role of video conferencing can become an advantage for the female part of employees.
Methods of nonverbal communication
The most popular non-verbal communication tools are gestures and facial expressions. Hands and face are the most “emotional” parts of the body, and the most mobile, as a result of which they are more expressive when speaking. The expression of emotions is perhaps the main content of the “conversation” when gesturing. Verbal communication is not always capable of conveying the emotional component of information, and this ability varies in different “sound” languages. In this case, the hands and face are connected. Especially if the conversation is conducted by “hot” and sensual people.
Additional ways of nonverbal communication are postures and touch. Such body movements can also tell a lot about a person, his thoughts and attitude to what is happening.
Even the distance between interlocutors can say a lot about the participants in the conversation.
So, there are types of maximum permissible distance depending on the circumstances of the conversation
:
- Intimate distance – up to half a meter
. This is how interlocutors talk, who trust each other to the maximum extent and are ready to share their most intimate things. In particular, lovers stand very close to each other. Best friends also communicate at the closest possible distance. At such a distance, physical contacts and touches are possible, which also reflect the closest, most trusting and intimate relationships possible. - Interpersonal distance – from half a meter to 1.2 meters
. At such a distance, ordinary friends, acquaintances, and close acquaintances conduct a friendly conversation. Touching may also be allowed here, although such strong bodily contacts as in the first case are not possible. - Social distance – from 1.2 to 3.7 meters
. It is intended for informal interaction in society, during a business meeting. The greater the distance, the more formal the conversation. It goes without saying that touching at such a distance is no longer possible. - Public distance is more than 3.7 meters
. This is the most appropriate distance for a lecturer speaking to a large group of people.
The distance during a conversation also depends on the gender, age, and personality characteristics of a person. Thus, young children are most comfortable communicating at close range, while teenagers prefer to distance themselves. A woman prefers a closer distance, regardless of the gender of her interlocutor. Confident people do not pay much attention to distances, while anxious people tend to be away from their interlocutors. Powerful people tend to shorten the distance when talking, to push - this is where, apparently, the word “assault” comes from.
Visual contact is also an important source of information. Vision is the main sense organ for humans; with its help, we strive to obtain maximum information about the subject that interests us. Therefore, long eye contact means admiration for the interlocutor, if the gaze is calm. A gaze with raised eyebrows signifies anticipation. And an intrusive, gaze with a somewhat alarming expression means indignation. If a person “rolls” his eyes, looks away, and avoids eye contact in every possible way, this means that the interlocutor is unpleasant to him.
Gestures and postures tell about people's feelings and attitudes. Their manner of sitting, standing, and the placement of their hands are important. For example, a positive position is recognized when the interlocutor sits with the body slightly tilted forward, with the hand slightly touching the cheek. Criticism is expressed by a characteristic gesture: one hand is at the chin, the index finger is extended along the cheek, the second hand supports the elbow of the first. If there is distrust, the interlocutor covers his mouth with his palm. Superiority is expressed by a sitting position, one leg placed on the other, arms thrown behind the head, eyes slightly closed. When disapproving, a person “shakes off the lint,” straightens his clothes or shakes them off, his movements are convulsive and restless.
Rubbing the chin, forehead, and bridge of the nose are known indicators of concentration. The eyes may be closed. Outstretched arms, straight head, relaxed body indicate the openness of the interlocutor.
Facial expressions are also important. It can tell about both a person’s thoughts and his feelings, while different halves of the face carry different information. As you know, the left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for intelligence, which controls the right side of the face; The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for emotions and controls the left side of the face.
Anger is expressed by wide open eyes, while the gaze is “squinted”, the teeth are clenched, and the corners of the lips are lowered. Raised eyebrows and a slightly open mouth mean that a person is surprised. Closed eyebrows, stretched lips with downturned corners indicate that the interlocutor is scared. A calm look with raised corners of the lips means the interlocutor is happy. Lowered lips and a “faded” gaze indicate sadness.
Even the intonation and timbre of the voice carry their own layer of information. Thus, drawn-out pronunciation of words and monotonous intonation are characteristic of an arrogant person. Clear, confident speech and a high tone of voice indicate enthusiasm and elation. A low tone of voice and a decrease in volume towards the end of a sentence indicate fatigue; Excitement is conveyed in the same way, but the speech is faster and the statements are abrupt. If there are many pauses in speech, the interlocutor coughs, or makes mistakes in words, it means that he is demonstrating uncertainty.
Speech activity: forms of language
Speech activity is a situation in which communication between people occurs through verbal components, language. There are different types:
- Writing is recording the content of speech on paper or electronic media.
- Speaking is the use of language to convey a message.
- Reading is the visual perception of information captured on paper or a computer.
- Listening is the audio perception of information from speech.
Based on the speech form, communication can be oral and written. And if we consider it depending on the number of participants, it can be divided into mass and interpersonal.
There are also literary and non-literary forms of language, which are unique to each nationality; they determine the social and cultural status of the nation. Literary language is exemplary, structured, with stable grammatical norms. It is also presented in two forms: oral and written. The first is the speech that sounds, the second can be read. At the same time, oral appeared earlier, it was the original one that people began to use. Non-literary speech – dialects of individual nationalities, territorial features of the oral language.
But nonverbal communication is of greatest importance in the psychology of communication. A person unconsciously uses various signs: gestures, facial expressions, intonation, posture, location in space, etc. Let's move on to consider this large group.
The role and importance of communication means for humans
Communication itself is one of the main attributes of human life. And all means are important: both verbal and non-verbal communication. Each means expresses its “share” of information, and the ability to read different “codes” helps to assess the situation as a whole.
Non-verbal communication, in particular, becomes necessary when verbal mutual understanding is impossible. For example, if the interlocutors speak different languages or one of them is deaf and dumb. Various sign languages have been developed for such purposes. Interestingly, in New Zealand the local sign language has the status of an official language; In this language, the English-speaking white population communicates with the Maori, an indigenous people whose representatives do not always agree to learn English.
As for ordinary situations, the importance of the non-verbal “part” of a conversation was shown by the Austrian writer Alan Pease; he states that only seven percent of information we receive from the verbal component of communication, and the rest we perceive through non-verbal signals. Researchers have also noticed that in recent years the role of non-verbal communication has increased significantly. One of the reasons for this may be caution: the interlocutor may well lie, hide information, and his true intentions can only be established by “reading” gestures and facial expressions. Increased tolerance also prevents people from using emotionally charged expressions in speech, and then nonverbal signals come to the rescue.
Detecting lies is one of the most important skills. The effect is based on the fact that most people do not control their emotions, so they may not correspond to the words spoken. Words can deceive, but their gestural “accompaniment” is not capable of this. Unless, of course, the interlocutor has learned to control himself and use facial expressions and gestures to further confuse the one with whom he is talking.
Learning to recognize non-speech information can take quite a long time. After all, there are not only well-known and understandable signals that are reflected even in phraseology (“head drooping,” “standing with mouth open,” etc.), but also rather subtle and non-obvious signs.
American writer Julius Fast once described an interesting incident. At one school there was a girl from Puerto Rico, whom the principal once found among a group of her peers smoking. All of these girls were arrogant and undisciplined, except for this Puerto Rican girl. Nevertheless, the director decided to punish her because he caught her in what he considered “suspicious behavior”: when talking, she diligently averted her eyes. The girl was saved by a local Spanish teacher, who explained to the director that in Puerto Rico, well-mannered girls never look adults in the eyes, which is a sign of respect.
It is obvious that the language of gestures, facial expressions, and intonations has a more ancient origin than “ordinary human” language. Indeed, articulate speech is a rather complex phenomenon, requiring not only a developed speech apparatus, but also the necessary level of abstract thinking. But nonverbal communication is widely available to animals. From them, apparently, we got most of the extra-speech signals.
In animals, postures, intonations of vocal cries, facial expressions express relations of superiority and submission, the choice of a partner for mating, friendship or enmity, and other information. Often, exchanging threatening postures and shouting can help avoid a fight, which may be disadvantageous to both parties. Primates, of course, have the richest system of gestures, postures and facial expressions, but many other animals also have their own sets of signals.
Non-verbal communication even allows us to contact our smaller brothers. The position of a cat or dog's tail can tell a lot about the animal's mood at the moment. Staring is an ominous signal for dogs and cats, especially if you look directly into their eyes.
Verbalism in sales.
Verbal communication conveys only dry information, so there are many sayings, the essence of which is that you should not talk much. This is very important for sales, you should not use a lot of words, it is important to pronounce the right and necessary words. In addition, each word has its own weight. The more words you say, the less weight each individual word has, so “extra words” dilute the power of important words.
To use verbal language 100%, you need to learn a few important things:
- Learn to speak little. Read what the active listening technique is; it is much more important for a salesperson to be able to listen than to speak long monologues. Remember - the buyer speaks 80% of the time, and only 20% the seller
. - Use superlatives. It is better to say not: “the best”, but “excellent”; not “fast Internet”, but “high-speed Internet”; not “big discount”, but “colossal discount”. Such words have enormous weight and people really like them, and sometimes they bring simply amazing results.
- Watch what you say
. Many words can offend and offend the client, for example, you should not say “this is the cheapest product”, it is better to say “this is an inexpensive product”, “this is the best product in this price niche”. They seem to be similar words, but the attitude towards them is different. - Address the client by name. This is a very important tool for increasing sales, everyone loves their name.
- Repeat what the client says. This tool helps highlight important words to the client and demonstrate that you are listening. You don’t need to pronounce everything, but only the important words that you want to highlight. This is a rather complex technique, mastering it will take time.
- Never name all the benefits at once. Speak them out gradually, and add new ones if you see that the client is not yet ready to make a purchase. It often happens that the seller will say everything he knows about the product in a single monologue, the client refuses, and the seller has nothing to say.
- Repeat important words. When you want to emphasize the importance of certain words, they should be spoken several times, naturally not one after another. For example: you want to focus on the price of a product, say the price at the beginning of the presentation, in the middle and at the end. Information spoken several times is remembered better. For example, you should do this if you need the client to remember your name.
Verbalism is a very powerful sales tool that needs to be used in moderation, but when you use it, hit it right on target. In active sales and telemarketing, verbatim sales scripts are written, since it is very important to be able to choose the right words. To develop your speech, you should read more; this will significantly increase your vocabulary and help you not only in sales, but also in life.
