Hello, dear readers of the site! Today we will talk about how not to be afraid of your boss.
First, let’s find out why people tend to be horrified by those who have more power, and in general, what such reactions can lead to.
After all, you must admit that a timid person, sometimes prone to victimized, that is, sacrificial behavior, is unlikely to be able to show leadership qualities and lead others, if necessary.
Accordingly, professional activity, like life in general, will be somewhat limited and not free.
Therefore, we want to present to your attention methods that will help you cope with your feelings and feel calm and confident around management.
So, are you ready?
Causes
In fact, there can be a lot of reasons, because the human psyche is multifaceted, and his life path, like his psychology, and character are unique. But below we will introduce you to the main ones that occur most often.
Transfer
Subconsciously, the leader is associated with a parental figure, who was significant in the life of almost every child.
After all, those who educate have a lot of power. Mom, dad or another adult who has custody makes decisions regarding how to live and what to do for their child. What he can do, what he can’t, and so on.
Everyone has their own parenting style, some prefer authoritarianism, so they apply punishment for every slightest mistake and almost never encourage or praise.
Others are permissive in their responsibilities and give complete freedom of action, fearing to be a “bad” parent.
Someone negotiates, someone tries to “buy” obedience, and someone does not take any part in the life of their baby at all, being only functional, providing him with vital needs.
So, if a child grew up in a family with a strict father, or a cruel mother, or an overly authoritarian grandmother or grandfather, for him in the future any person with power will be a punitive body, but not rewarding for achievements.
Therefore, at the sight of a boss, an adult, mature person turns into a little boy or girl, expecting punishment for disobedience.
Personal characteristics of the leader
It happens that people who are cruel, explosive and intolerant of other opinions get power. They talk down to their subordinates, not even considering them as people. Why do they try to control them only with the help of fear, that is, by exerting psychological pressure, manipulating feelings.
So that they do not decide to overthrow them from their positions, or simply disobey. Weak-willed robots with no right to a voice, this is how overly authoritarian, sometimes despotic bosses want workers to be.
And if a person is in a difficult financial situation, or simply values his place in the company, he falls into a kind of trap. He is really afraid to take a step to the side without permission, otherwise a fine, reprimand, demotion, or even dismissal will inevitably follow.
Personal characteristics of the employee
Timid people are basically afraid of everyone around them. Or rather, their opinions and condemnations. They have low self-esteem, and therefore, simply relying on willpower, they are not able to stop feeling terrified of people in authority.
Perfectionists, individuals with high demands on themselves and others, also run the risk of experiencing discomfort in the presence of those of higher rank.
Negative experience
Fear may arise as a result of receiving a reprimand or punishment, especially in front of colleagues, which only adds shame, which then forms anxiety, horror of the possibility of getting into a similar situation again.
Let's say an employee made a mistake, and the boss was not in the mood, and he reprimanded a careless subordinate who took the criticism to heart.
After which, while completing the assigned tasks, he will subconsciously tense up, thinking that he has suddenly done something wrong again. Naturally, this will reduce the level of concentration, which, quite expectedly, will lead to even greater mistakes.
Or it happens that the boss made an unsuccessful joke at the expense of his subordinate, who subsequently did not feel free around him, since he already perceived any words as ridicule.
“Washstands are the boss and washcloths are the commander”
We all remember the formidable Moidodyr from a children's fairy tale, who instilled fear not only in his subordinates, but also in children... it’s funny to say, but it’s not uncommon for a boss to be feared at work no less than this character. And when they meet him in the corridor, they literally become petrified with horror, even if the leader is, in principle, an adequate and calm person.
Unfortunately, not all managers apply the democratic method of management in practice. Many, especially in manufacturing companies, implement a tough, authoritarian style, when they can yell at subordinates, reprimand them without any particular reason, and threaten them with dismissal... At the same time, they are not necessarily tyrants, they just believe that this is the only way there will be order and order in the company. result. You should immediately and irrevocably run away from this kind of “arbiter of fate” subordinates, because you will only waste your nerves.
Negative consequences
Impossibility of promotion
When a person is afraid of his boss, this can negatively affect his future. Especially if he wants to reach certain heights.
Helpful or overly timid subordinates do not command respect. They simply do not inspire confidence, because how can you rely, entrust the execution of a responsible task to someone who is shy and afraid to even look him in the eye?
It is difficult to consider such a person as an equal, qualified specialist. After all, he does everything to be accepted as a victim.
"Dropping" into the victim
As already mentioned, timid people who are afraid of status figures are perceived as victims. After all, if they are unfairly accused of something, they will not dare to justify themselves and tell the aggressor that he is wrong.
They will endure humiliation, not daring to defend their boundaries. Which makes them very convenient, because you can release anger and tension without getting any feedback.
And if you have to endure violence in the office, then gradually a person gets used to it. Accordingly, he allows others to treat him poorly. Such tolerance sometimes provokes aggression and the desire to harm.
In general, you will learn more about victimization from this article.
By the way, even a democratic boss who has no goal of having a “whipping boy” at hand will not like this behavior.
Because he will not see the future, a company that employs an indecisive and ingratiating person is practically doomed to failure. Successful leaders want ambitious, stress-resistant employees around them.
Errors at work
Inexperienced people, or those who are faced with new responsibilities or have just joined the team, are anxious about asking questions to the manager.
After all, they will expect a wave of irritation against them and accusations of incompetence. Accordingly, without asking what the right thing to do in some situation is, they will make mistakes. Which may well turn out to be unforgivable.
And anxiety distracts, reduces concentration, the ability to think logically, discarding the emotional component.
Lack of recognition and respect
The timidity of management leads to a deterioration in relations with colleagues, who will not only cease to respect, but may also mock a weak-willed employee.
And if the atmosphere in the team is not comfortable for a person, he simply will not be able to perform his duties efficiently. If only because he will experience tension and, possibly, shame and irritation.
Health problems
The impact of stress on the body is extremely great. It is dangerous to health, as it may well provoke the development of chronic and even incurable diseases.
Not only the psyche suffers, but the whole body as a whole. Energy is spent on coping with stress; accordingly, the person does not solve his life problems and constantly feels a loss of strength. She does not get enough sleep, because in addition to various diseases, insomnia also occurs.
In the “swamp” of routine
It's not just newbies who may hate their job and be afraid to go to the office. This problem often arises among those who have worked for many years in an organization and are often its “old-timers.”
Here the reason lies in banal boredom - if every working day becomes “Groundhog Day”, then the desire to come to the office becomes less and less. Monotony, lack of interesting tasks and career growth are the root of this problem. Dissatisfaction also causes a decrease in motivation in us. And now the boss frowns when he sees you, and at a meeting he can devote dozens of minutes to analyzing your personality.
What to do?
First, try to talk frankly with management - if you have been working for a long time and are valued, then this can help. Ask to be transferred to another area of activity, to be included in a new project - to set the bar higher, to give an incentive. In case of refusal and misunderstanding, you should admit to yourself that you have done everything you could in this field, and with a clear conscience begin to look for a new job that will “ignite” you again.
When your boss asks you to stay late at work
Do you think the opinion of a person who does not state his boundaries will be respected? Hardly. After all, why should someone else care about someone who doesn’t care about himself?
Let's look at why working overtime is not a good idea:
- You perform part of your duties completely free of charge. Yes, so to speak, on a volunteer basis, thinking that someday someone will appreciate your sacrifices.
- You are depriving yourself of a well-deserved rest. You could spend this time with family, friends, or just alone, gaining energy that you will probably need tomorrow.
- Drive yourself to professional burnout. When fatigue and apathy take over, you have absolutely no strength to get out of bed in the morning and get ready for the hated office. Despite the fact that before there was an interest in work, a desire to create and change something.
- You make a lot of mistakes. After all, you can do a lot of things from fatigue. Therefore, the next day you will have to stay late again to fix them. And so on in a circle until illness arises from stress and exhaustion, or a persistent desire to quit and tell everyone to hell.
- You feel sad and lonely. Social connections are gradually narrowing, because you pay attention not to communication with loved ones, but to projects, schedules, and so on. And this inevitably leads to loneliness, conflicts with family members, depression and even divorce.
And so, in principle, we can continue for a long time. Therefore, learn to say “no”, defend your boundaries and rights.
If you are threatened with demotion or termination due to refusal, consider whether it is worth holding on to a job where you are simply being used. And does your agreement to sacrifice personal interests for the good of the company guarantee security and stability?
After all, this is how you can manipulate your employee every time as soon as he tries to resist taking on additional obligations without corresponding additional payment.
Methods
Awareness
To understand how to confront your fears, you must first understand what they are. That is, sometimes it turns out that behind the fear of superiors there is a need for recognition or a desire for attention. Or it seems that if you make a mistake, the world will end, although in reality this is just a fantasy.
So take a piece of paper and write down all your ideas about what will happen if your manager is unhappy with you or your work. Perhaps some fears will actually turn out to be not fatal, and at times not terrible at all.
Rationalization allows you to look at the situation “soberly” and see the full real picture.
Placement in someone else's place
Try to imagine yourself in the boss's place. It may become clearer to you why he treats his employees unfairly.
Or you will see that he simply has no other options, and he is trying to keep the company afloat by solving a huge number of problems at the same time.
When you have to communicate with dozens of different people a day, make decisions on which the future of the company and again dozens of families depend, believe me, you simply may not have enough strength to delve into the personal problems of one specific person, trying to find an individual approach to him.
And, if you understand that in front of you is a living person who is practically no different from you and can also make mistakes, and does not yet know the answers to absolutely all the questions, it will be easier for you to accept him and relate to status in general.
Fantasy
How to resist aggression if, for certain reasons, you do not have the right to show it in response? It’s worth imagining that cotton wool comes out of the mouth of someone who swears, or even flies fly out.
This is not to laugh, to defuse the situation, but to look at the situation a little from the outside, without getting too involved emotionally.
After all, any word can be perceived as an insult, you can get hurt by it and then worry about it every time in the process of communication.
Anxiety-phobic disease
There are phobic disorders, accompanied by anxiety and fears, when a person is unable to lead a normal lifestyle, perform usual professional or economic activities, or communicate with people. What prevents him from doing this is a feeling of fear that appears involuntarily due to some unimportant reasons. This condition is called anxiety-phobic disorder. It is accompanied by lack of sleep, poor mood, fatigue, and memory loss.
There are many factors that can cause such conditions. One of them is boss-phobia or fear of superiors. It arises in the process of cooperation between a subordinate and a superior.
