It is completely natural to feel apprehensive before a fight. The instinct of self-preservation forces us to avoid situations that can harm our health. Well-mannered people usually try to resolve certain conflicts verbally, in a more or less peaceful way, but sometimes it still comes to violence.
Whether a person wants it or not, he has to respond to the enemy in kind, so it is important that the fear of a fight does not turn into an uncontrollable phobia that does not allow a person to defend himself.
Reasons for fear of fighting
In case of the slightest threat, the instinct of self-preservation kicks in. The body begins to release adrenaline, brain activity becomes dull. In such a state, a person must quickly make one of two decisions - to flee or to repel the blow. When he hesitates, a person is enveloped in a panic attack, and in such a state it is not easy to escape or defeat the enemy.
You shouldn’t be ashamed of your own fear; you need to learn to get the better of it and get rid of it. You need to admit to yourself that the fear of a fight is present and start working on it. But first, it is important to understand the reason why you become scared before a fight. Only then will it be possible to answer the question of how not to be afraid of a fight.
Fear of hitting a person
There is no such person who would not be afraid of pain. But often a person is afraid not only to experience pain on himself, but also to inflict it on another, even an aggressive opponent.
Psychology identifies real phobias, because of which a person will never be able to cross the line and respond with force to force. For example, hemophobia is a fear of blood, in which the skin turns pale, a person begins to tremble and may lose consciousness.
Algophobia is also classified as fear of experiencing pain. Algophobia occurs if a person has previously experienced severe pain. Algophobia in most cases stems from childhood, when a person was seriously injured or faced physical abuse at a young age.
Fear of pain
Often the fear of experiencing pain comes from childhood. As a rule, memories are associated with physical violence that was once experienced.
We are talking not only about those who faced the use of force for misconduct in the family, but also about those who, as teenagers, got into fights with peers and were beaten.
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Fear of conflicts
There is no such person who would not find himself in a conflict situation. Often the conflict that begins escalates into assault. Of course, this situation does not happen to those who believe that any dispute can be resolved through dialogue. But unfortunately, in the absence of arguments, for some, the use of force becomes the only option.
It is especially difficult to find a compromise in adolescence and resolve conflicts with children raised by the “street”.
Reasons for fear of conflicts and quarrels
Firstly, I would like to immediately dot the I’s, that any fear that arises in the head is neurotic fear. Don't be afraid, it doesn't mean you're crazy J
There is a special qualification of fears, there are quite a lot of them (fears), but today we will only touch on 2:
- Real fear is an event that happens in the present, in the here and now. For example, you are walking along a dark street and a threatening-looking man comes towards you, and you understand that he is dangerous to you. Or, you are in the forest and lost, you are scared and don’t know what to do. Those. real fear is an event that actually happens. Fortunately, this rarely happens.
- Neurotic fear is about events that can happen. The main idea is that they CAN, but will not happen. Let's say you can be afraid that a brick will fall on your head, all your life you can shy away from brick houses, dilapidated roofs and believe that a brick will soon fall on your head.
Neurotic fear arises within a person as a premonition, as experience, as knowledge, foresight of the future, and at the same time, a feeling of the reality of what is happening is created.
And the most disgusting thing is that a person experiencing neurotic fear perceives his feelings as reality, as if this should happen right now.
Now, let's return to the reasons for the fear of conflicts..
What is a person really afraid of?
The conflict itself or your participation in it?
After all, if you observe someone else’s conflict, quarrel, scandal from the sidelines, most likely, you will simply feel unpleasant, right?
But if you are involved in this conflict, then you worry about yourself, about how and what you will feel, what will happen to you.
We don’t like conflicts most often because we don’t emerge victorious from them, we lose, we become guilty of something, we are blamed and we cannot defend ourselves.
In this case, we may be talking about lack of self-confidence, that we cannot fight back when we are attacked.
And the most unpleasant thing is that after the conflict, we begin to blame ourselves for not having the courage to put the person in his place, and we begin to engage in criticism and self-criticism.
And in general, we feel like a victim. This is unpleasant, and therefore fear arises... and to put it another way, we want to avoid conflict.
Fear creates the appearance of protection from conflict, like if I’m afraid, then I’m protecting myself. In fact, this is a trick and a deception. A person does not know how to protect himself, and in order not to traumatize himself with such an admission that he is not perfect in some way, fear arises.
And fear prevents you from mastering the skills of defending yourself in conflict situations.
I hope you have heard about subpersonalities? In short, our personality has different facets, character traits, properties, skills, roles, etc. So, if your fear is strong, long-standing, then it becomes a part of you. For example, you have the role of a mother, daughter, son, etc., and fear, over time, becomes the role of a person who is afraid of conflicts and avoids them by any means.
That is why, working with the fear of conflict should not simply consist in eliminating the feeling of fear, but in mastering certain skills that help to interact correctly during a conflict.
Do you need to overcome fear?
Fear must and can be overcome. It is impossible to live with panic attacks all your life - it negatively affects your health.
A person who feels panic before a fight and understands that his strength is zero should take measures to avoid being beaten. A good solution would be to try to start a dialogue with your opponent. Often, it is a well-structured dialogue that helps to avoid a fight, of course, if the opponent is able to resolve the issue without fists. To do this, it is worth giving arguments that will help resolve the conflict situation.
Helpful advice! If you live permanently or if you need to travel to a disadvantaged area, purchasing a permitted weapon will be effective. So, if you show a gun to a bully, he will certainly get scared and try to run away. However, it is better to do without weapons, since using them can have negative consequences.
A new look at familiar things
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In a group of men, where any man, in fact, moves in the corridor of libido and mortido, sex and death (hunting, prey), the viewer feels “different”, in some sense not a man. The children's group, where ranking takes place and primitive roles are practiced, including through fights, turns out to be the first test for visual boys. Fear of a fight and any fear in general is transmitted to others through smells. Others pick up on it - and the young viewer often becomes a victim of aggression. Therefore, the question of how to overcome his fear becomes key for him from a young age.
Ways to deal with the fear of fighting
So, if a fight cannot be prevented, it must be led. To do this, you need to prepare yourself for battle both physically and mentally.
Physical training
Having accepted his fear, a person must learn to fight it. If this is a fear of pain, then the best solution would be to develop your own physical strength.
There are three ways:
- exercise;
- learn self-defense techniques;
- sign up for a martial arts class.
It is worth choosing a section where, first of all, attention is paid to striking techniques and where experienced mentors can not only teach wrestling skills, but also teach how to stop being afraid to fight. Good options are boxing, MMA, Muay Thai or hand-to-hand combat. Of course, during training the athlete will receive a lot of blows, it will be painful and difficult, but this will be the first step towards overcoming fear. Even a girl can go to such sections.
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For a person who has never been involved in combat sports, boxing is best suited for self-defense. This sport is very effective and easier than others to master at any age. In boxing, competing in the ring with an opponent will help you develop physically and practice punching tactics.
Daily training will allow you to get used to blows, not be afraid of pain, blood, and show you how not to be afraid to fight. Regular sparring will become commonplace, which means that a street fight will not cause fear. In addition, if you have physical training, a person will feel more confident in any conflict.
This is interesting:
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Why men don't want to get married.
Psychological preparation
Even the most experienced fighter who experiences a feeling of fear before the start of a fight will most likely suffer defeat in the ring. If a person is not confident in himself, he may consider himself defeated even before the fight begins. With self-confidence, even someone who does not know martial arts can defeat an opponent. True, you won’t be able to do without bruises and abrasions, but you will be able to maintain your self-esteem.
Psychological preparation plays a special role. It is important to remember only one thing - the one who is strong psychologically, and not physically, wins.
To stop feeling afraid of fighting, you should do the following:
- Study the process of relaxation and learn meditation. These methods help relieve anxiety and stress. Meditation will not only help you get rid of the fear of fighting, but will also help you concentrate.
- Learn breathing exercises. It is proper breathing that helps a person calm down and relieve stress when the moment comes to fight.
- Sign up for personal development trainings that will teach you how to overcome your fear of fighting. Regular exercise will help you feel confident in your abilities and increase your self-esteem.
- Make an appointment with a psychologist. A personal psychologist will help you understand the root of the problem and find a solution. A psychological session will help you accept your fear and overcome it.
There is another technique in psychology that will help you tune in to the upcoming battle and drive away fear. This method obliges a person to choose the image of an animal, a tiger, a bear or another. Next, you should discard logic and immerse yourself in the image and demonstrate the qualities inherent in this beast.
This method requires some skill. So, you need to set yourself up correctly and come up with a signal that will facilitate the transition to the desired spirit, namely:
- growl;
- shout;
- warrior rose.
Important! This method is often used by professional fighters before a fight to get in the mood for sparring and overcome panic.
conclusions
Many people want to overcome the fear of fighting. And ask them - why? “Defend yourself”, “defend your honor, your rights”, “defend someone”, “prove that I...” - the answer will be similar, that is, behind all this lies humiliated dignity and chronic self-doubt. So this is what we need to work with. All other fears associated with fighting are a normal reflexive reaction to danger. And the complete disappearance of the feeling of fear could have unpredictable consequences for humanity. The ability to diplomatically resolve conflict issues is a highly intellectual property, in contrast to courage, which is also inherent in animals.
Tips before the inevitable fight
There are situations when a properly structured dialogue does not give the desired result. Or the person doesn’t have time to say a word at all, and the opponent is already rushing at him with fists. In this case, no matter how much you would like, it is impossible to avoid a fight. Therefore, it is worth learning to repel and fight back an aggressive opponent.
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These tips will help you before the inevitable fight:
- No matter how much fear envelops you, it is absolutely forbidden to show it to your opponent . If your opponent feels insecure, it will give him more strength. You need to learn to hide your own emotions. Seeing a worthy opponent in front of him, the opponent may become frightened himself, and then the fight may not take place at all.
- It is worth considering not only your own state, but also the mood of the enemy. It is likely that he himself is anxious and afraid of feeling physical pain. Given his behavior, the person himself will be able to decide to ignore the attacks or to strike first. By the way, professional fighters claim that the one who strikes first has a greater chance of winning.
- Apply smart image tactics . Aggressive gestures and a belligerent posture can frighten an opponent, and he himself will hasten to run away, because even the bravest opponent does not want to be beaten.
- It is necessary to soberly assess the situation and your own strengths. To do this, it is worth assessing the chance of victory and, if it is minimal, thinking about a way to retreat. Ending up in the hospital with serious injuries is not the best decision, and therefore if your opponent is superior to you in all respects, it may be worth running away.
- A good solution would be to purchase any of the self-defense means available to citizens and learn how to use it. You should not purchase a knife for safety, since using it risks killing a person and incurring criminal liability.
Help and advice
In the case where the problem has not yet started, several recommendations can help in solving it.
- If the main reason for your fears is a strong opponent, you can increase your confidence by working out at the gym. This could be push-ups, pull-ups, boxing, or barbell exercises. Oriental martial arts would be an excellent option. Sometimes auto-training helps, since in some cases everything is decided not by strength, but by a confident attitude and unshakable determination.
- In a situation where avoiding fights is associated with the factor of uncertainty, you should study more information on the issues that cause the greatest discomfort. For example, you can read literature on self-defense and learn about where vulnerable areas are. A person should at least roughly know how to act in a situation of danger - having a rough plan makes it much easier to cope with anxiety.
The following tips will also be useful:
- it is necessary to be confident and calm, at least externally;
- You should not take everything that your opponent says as the pure truth - he can boast and make aggressive attacks only for his own peace of mind and because of strong agitation;
- you should always be determined to win, not think about losing and be angry at your own fear - anger adds courage;
- You shouldn’t criticize yourself if you lose – “losing” can happen to anyone.
It is also necessary to remember that if a person is afraid to fight, this does not always indicate his immaturity, cowardice or weakness. The development of fear can be influenced by a huge number of reasons, which sometimes only a qualified psychologist can understand. If the chances of winning a fight are low, then fear in this case is absolutely logical. Such fear is useful, it helps to avoid danger and does not need to be removed.
