Well, a man appeared in our surroundings, one look at whom made our hearts tremble. I want to think about this guy, I want to dream about dating him, I want to hear his voice... But we are well aware that the young man is not the hero of our novel at all! You won’t be able to have a serious and promising relationship with him. Why? You never know... He, for example, is too much of a lover of women, an irresponsible egoist, a frivolous flyer, or simply someone’s gentleman or even husband.
Naturally, you can’t get carried away with such an unreliable type or even someone else’s lover! If you allow yourself to mindlessly dive into the pool of feelings, you may drown. Is it worth doing this if you understand that there is only suffering ahead? Of course not! But how to manage emotions? How to curb them and not fall in love with such an attractive man? After all, it is better to try to prevent the disease than to suffer and look for ways to cure it later, when it reaches an acute stage. And to do this, you need to understand at least a little why it occurs and whether it is subject to management and control.
Don't date his people
You shouldn't meet a guy's family and friends until you're sure of him. For many, the offer to introduce you to their loved ones already sounds like confirmation of the seriousness of the guy’s intentions. But this is not necessarily the case; maybe he easily brings new people into his circle without giving it much importance.
The more people involved in your relationship, the more likely you are to become attached to the person. If possible, at first stay away from his friends and especially his parents.
“Did I make a promise to love…” Why can you fall in love with “the wrong one”?
The first and main reason why a girl can fall in love
“wrong” man - low self-esteem and lack of an environment that supports it.
In this case, self-esteem does not correspond to the girl’s potential. Therefore, the psyche of a young girl will give a signal that love is on the horizon, falsely interpreting the signal of this young man. However, there is not even a smell of pure, kind, all-consuming Love here.
Let's call reason number two the lack of conditions in the girl's family for normal development: the girl wants to leave the family, they don't understand her. The girl will begin to feel that this man and it is he who understands her better than others.
She begins to believe that she has met a man destined from above just for her, and clutches at him like a drowning man clutches at a straw. Further the situation may unfold in an unfavorable way. It's better to protect yourself from this, don't you agree? Then let's move on to practical self-help points.
Don't follow him on social media
In order not to get used to the guy ahead of time, you will have to overcome the biggest temptation - Internet stalking. A page on social networks can tell a lot about a person, but if you spend several hours on it, studying every photo and all the friends on his list, you will begin to become attached to the guy as quickly as during personal meetings.
Practical advice
Feelings often prevent you from seeing a person’s shortcomings, idealizing and increasing his importance. In addition, you need to stop falling in love with all the handsome guys, focusing exclusively on appearance and not taking into account the internal qualities of the objects of admiration. To prevent unnecessary infatuation, a number of measures should be taken.
Avoid talking to your boyfriend
Even if the guy insists on meeting, you need to try to put aside emotions and understand whether he is needed at all.
It is better to avoid collisions with him if possible, try not to fall into his field of vision, and not communicate in any way. If a meeting is imminent, under no circumstances should you give nonverbal signals. A careless gesture, a smile in his direction, an open posture will indicate interest.
Find his negative qualities
We must also free ourselves from the desire to idealize the image of a man. Often, false ideas about a guy, formed solely by the mind, become the main problem. It is common for the human psyche to attribute non-existent elements, to “adjust” the portrait of a person to fit their ideas.
It is difficult for the mind to fight such a position, so emotions can be restrained by finding negative traits in the object of love. They will help destroy the illusion of ideality of the created image.
Don't accept gifts from him
In order not to give false hopes to your boyfriend, and also not to succumb to temptation once again, do not accept gifts from him. In addition to signs of attention, you can acquire a feeling of the need to fulfill certain obligations. In addition, gifts can act as a means of manipulation.
When refusing a gift, the words should not sound rude, but they should feel confident. This will show the boyfriend the firmness of his decision.
Think about your interests
It is important to make efforts to distract yourself: throw yourself into work, have fun with friends, devote time to hobbies. This will allow you to think less about your experiences.
You won’t be able to forget about the guy overnight, but the stream of thoughts directed at him will gradually dry up. Thoughts focused on a guy give rise to dreams. They must not be allowed to spread their wings.
Find support among your loved ones
If you cannot overcome the attraction on your own, you can resort to the support of close friends or your mother. You need to describe a man impartially, telling more negative qualities about him.
The opinions of loved ones matter. Sometimes their statements become a sobering factor. If the object of passion is “scold” by others, this will help you come to your senses a little.
Don't rush to have sex
The rule that having sex on the first date is taboo has long been outdated. However, by rushing into physical intimacy, you risk falling in love faster. During sex, our body produces a whole cocktail of hormones that create a feeling of trust and affection. It is better if such emotions are caused by the real actions of a man, and not just by your orgasm.
How to diagnose emotional dependence?
Psychology tells us that suffering is an indicator that you are addicted. If your attachment is accompanied by suffering, it means that you have narrowed your life interests to one object, and have fallen into the trap of emotional dependence.
If a girl does fall into the trap of emotional dependence, it is very important to understand that the suffering she experiences is a psychological pathology. The girl is in her own illusion, in a nightmare. However, her suffering is very real. Apart from a certain man, she is not interested in anything else. For six months, a year, or even two, a girl can lead an antisocial lifestyle, moving away from everyone.
After a while, the girl either becomes an antisocial character and slides downward (drunkenness, drugs), or begins to see the light, gets out of this state and begins a new life. It is necessary for her or her loved ones to seek help and support from specialized centers that provide assistance to women victims of emotional dependence.
Consultations with specialists in the field of psychology will help the girl not to do anything stupid and get out of the emotional labyrinth.
Don't ignore red flags
Try not to justify his shortcomings, but to boldly look at them and decide whether you could put up with them or not. There are many signs that will tell you that you should not fall in love with this guy, and you can notice them already on the first date.
The very fact that you see flaws in a person indicates that you are able to maintain sober thinking. Think about them whenever you are tempted to fantasize about your future together.
Getting rid of falling in love
