Many girls face the problem of an unsettled personal life. Some people easily manage to move from one relationship to another, but many people have to make a lot of effort to find a guy. If you are from the second category, then this article is for you. So, what are the typical mistakes girls make when looking for their other half, and how can you find a guy as easily as possible?
Why I can't find a boyfriend - possible psychological reasons
Girls rarely notice that many good guys they meet automatically fall into the friend zone. Taking a closer look at your friends, you will be able to notice nice young people there who do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, work in good jobs, and are well-mannered. However, you find a reason not to notice these advantages. This happens often. Not your case? Let's consider other options.
Excessively high selection criteria
If you are looking for a wealthy young blond man with real estate abroad, several cars and an outstanding profession, then there is a very low percentage of a successful search. While you are chasing an invented image, many good guys will pass by.
Don't look for the ideal prince - he lives only on the pages of ladies' novels. Try to lower the set bar, and it is quite possible that it will turn out that finding a guy is not at all difficult.
Your choice is guys with flaws
One threw socks around, another chomped, the third loved “stupid” films. All this drove you crazy and prevented you from enjoying your relationship. Trying to fix imperfect guys led nowhere, and you were “forced” to seek happiness with another person.
Maybe it was worth forgiving shortcomings and realizing that there are no ideal people. Of course, there are truly terrible flaws, but sometimes breakups occur due to harmless characteristics that the guy might not even be aware of.
You're looking in the wrong place
Do you want to find a serious, hardworking, purposeful guy? It is unlikely that you will find him at a disco - this could be a miracle and an accident. This kind of young people usually do not seek out nighttime adventures. Another thing is a walk in the park with the dog, a morning jog, or a coffee shop.
You're looking in the wrong place
You may be overly explicit about your desire to find a boyfriend. Factors in which this is expressed: revealing outfits, cloying communication, an abundance of tactile contact, coquetry with everyone. This way you can attract a man who is interested in light affairs. Serious male representatives pay attention to other individuals. They immediately feel the “hunters”, and they do not want to feel like prey.
Reasons for bad luck in love
If you are alone for a very long time, perhaps the reason is precisely in your life attitudes.
You have painted yourself a very clear ideal image of a guy, but only one in a million may fit such a template. Don't make life difficult for yourself. There are no men without flaws, it is important to look at their potential. If he is, then he will have enough livelihood and social recognition. This is what you should focus on. Many people want to get ready-made oligarchs, singers, and actors, but few want to go all the way from the lowest steps of Parnassus to the top. So, break your pattern and get into a friendly conversation.
How to find a guy for a serious relationship
Having set the goal of finding a guy for a serious relationship, follow the recommendation of experienced psychologists: mentally model the image of your future spouse. We are not talking about any implausible qualities described above. Model in general terms what character qualities should be inherent in the chosen one, approximate appearance features. Write it all down on a piece of paper.
Now cross out the ones that are mutually exclusive. Example: “My husband works hard to provide for the family” and “My husband always finds time to take care of me and make unforgettable surprises.”
Consider such aspects as your position regarding children, approximate area of activity, and hobbies. You must understand what type you need.
Haven't found the guy yet? Don’t waste this time in vain - take care of your appearance, intellectual development, and become interesting to yourself. A girl who is interesting to herself will not leave any guy indifferent. Continue visiting places where you can meet suitable men.
Phrases on how to approach a boy
With the right phrases, you can elegantly and beautifully approach a boy. The key to success is confidence and a pleasant appearance.
Examples of tackles:
- Your hair shimmers so beautifully in the sun. I can't look away!
- Hi, I have to get up early in two days. Could you wake me up by calling or texting me?
- I waited a long time for the right moment... But I realized that if I don’t come up now, I will regret it for the rest of my life!
- How can a girl let such a cool guy go alone on the Internet?
- Do you like bad girls? I'm ready to play on your nerves for the rest of my life!
- I am sure that even when we are old, our feelings will be just as hot!
You can call the boy affectionate names, use beautiful or daring phrases. This approach will definitely not go unnoticed.
Where to find a guy: the best places to meet
So, let's look at the popular places where you can find a guy:
In a bar or cafe
Dating in a bar or cafe is not uncommon. These are some of the most typical places to meet people for many decades. In bars, getting to know each other is more relaxed. If you hope to meet someone in a cafe, choose establishments with a high turnover - not those where a couple of tables are occupied, and those must be pre-ordered.
In the night club
A nightclub is a great place to meet people. Choose good, expensive establishments that minimize encounters with people who are unacceptable to you. Choose the most decent establishments in the city, rely on reviews.
In the supermarket
Quite a popular place. Choose large supermarkets - they provide more options. You can initiate an acquaintance in the store yourself. Go to the electronics department and ask the man you like to help you choose a gift for your father or brother. However, this could be any department. Choose places where there are no consultants so that your conversation is not interrupted by recommendations from a professional.
In the cinema, museum
You can also find a guy in the cinema and museum. Moreover, it is easier to do this in a museum - go up to the same exhibit that the man is interested in, and start a casual conversation. It is better to choose museums of military equipment or other “male” orientation.
Mutual acquaintances
One of the most reliable acquaintances, almost eliminating unpleasant consequences. Knowing about your preferences and hobbies, mutual friends are unlikely to recommend someone completely unsuitable.
In the gym
A popular place where many married couples met for the first time. We can say that the gym “opens up” a potential other half for men as much as possible. He sees her tired, sweaty, and with all the “problem” areas, and if even in such conditions interest arises, then it is definitely sincere.
Walking with the dog
It's no secret that many people specifically get dogs to find a mate. How it works? The conversation between dog lovers looks as casual as possible. The dialogue develops quite naturally if your dog and him decide to play. Even if this does not happen, you may well start a conversation with another dog breeder on many topics: where did he buy such a good collar, did a canine handler work with his dog, and so on.
At work
A very common method - many married couples have formed thanks to common work. In this case, acquaintance occurs naturally, and common topics for conversation can always be found.
What to talk about with a guy: examples
To interest a young man, you should use information about his hobbies and interests. You can start communicating with them, gradually expanding the range of topics. Examples of phrases to start a conversation:
- "Hello! I saw you walking your dog today? So cute. What breed is this?
- “You do cycling (rollerblading, skateboarding). What model would you recommend to a beginner?”
- “What English courses do you take? Do they help you study well? Is there progress?
It is important in a conversation to listen to the end, and not to throw in pre-prepared questions. The interlocutor opens up more if he sees that he is being listened to attentively.
Advice! There is no need to be afraid to take the first step, because boys are also worried and shy at such moments.
How to find a guy if I don't go anywhere
Work takes up almost all of your time or are you embarrassed to go to clubs or bars? The guy can be found in this case too.
Marriage Agency
A potential suitor from a dating site can write encouraging messages for months, but still not decide to meet. He can also invent his name, occupation, marital status, etc. The marriage agency does not anticipate such a development of events. Most often, agency employees have a copy of the documents of the guy who is looking for his beloved. This method is used by more serious and thorough young people.
Online dating sites
Online dating sites have connected many hearts, and people meet there, perhaps even more often than on the street. However, it is important to be careful: ignore guys who are clearly looking for sexual contact only; guys who are not eager to move from communication to meeting; any individuals about whom you have the slightest doubt.
Social media
Many spouses met on social networks. You may like this kind of acquaintance more than, for example, searching through agencies or dating sites. Many girls are embarrassed to clearly show that they need a relationship. How can you attract attention on Instagram? Just like the photos you like. Perhaps your attention will not go unnoticed. If we are talking about a more or less public person, then no problems can arise here at all.
Speed dating
Speed-dating meetings have become widespread in the USA, but are increasingly being organized here. People who are interested in socializing come to the party. It takes place in a cozy cafe or restaurant. The organizers make sure that the atmosphere is conducive to communication. Usually the event involves ten participants of the opposite sex. The women sit at tables, and each man has seven minutes to communicate. That is, after talking with you, the interlocutor moves to the next table. Subsequently, you will need to mark on the card the men who aroused your interest. In case of reciprocity, the next day the organizers will provide you with each other’s contact information.
How to meet someone in 5 minutes
Even with limited time, you can approach the boy. Bright, memorable phrases and actions will be effective. For example, accidentally dropping a notebook, textbook or other item nearby. When the boy picks up the item, the girl can thank him. And offer to chat.
You can meet a boy in 5 minutes at an event, on the street, during a break, or in the company of friends. All you have to do is approach a stranger and start a conversation.
Live communication is always better than correspondence. It is almost impossible to get to know a young man closely in a chat. We need to spend time together offline, get to know each other.
What turns guys off in the first stages of dating?
Let's look at the qualities that repel men in the first stages of dating.
Narcissism
Being proud of your successes and achievements is a good tendency, but you need to know when to stop. There's a difference between a girl who knows she's good at something and one who tries to prove it. In general, narcissism is often repulsive.
Domination
An attempt to control the behavior of a man nearby. Example: he uses chopsticks incorrectly, eats soup incorrectly, and so on. Amendments are permissible in rare exceptions, and it is best to avoid them at first.
If you constantly monitor his speech, the progress of your date, etc., the man will feel depressed, begin to get angry, and over time will prefer to avoid communicating with you.
Unacceptable social communication skills
Any man will be disappointed if you constantly switch interests. Example: sitting with him in a cafe, you periodically reply to someone’s messages. Believe me, he will be of little interest in the excuse: “Sorry, this is for work.” However, some women are used to doing this “in passing” (checking email, exchanging messages with a friend), so they don’t even consider it necessary to somehow explain their behavior.
Other signs of low etiquette in communication: interrupting the interlocutor mid-sentence, “stealing pieces” from his plate, laughing loudly, speaking loudly, attracting attention to oneself.
Excessive cloying
There is no need to speak to a man in an overly “sweet” voice, giggle endlessly, and look tenderly into his eyes. This is all acceptable, you were already in a relationship, and decided to add a little coquetry this evening. At the initial stages of dating, such behavior can confuse a guy. If a guy realizes that you have overplayed your flirtatious side, this may push him away.
Lots of criticism
If you want to find a guy, do not criticize potential partners in the initial stages of dating. When starting a new relationship, a guy wants to feel perfect, just like a girl. If you start endlessly assuring him of the opposite, he will want to build a “new relationship” with someone else.
A lot of self-criticism
Everyone knows women who constantly voice any shortcomings in the hope that they will be refuted. This method is not very good. Sometimes it works, but often it confuses a man and subsequently irritates him.
Haste in developing relationships
Having met a guy and noticing his interest in themselves, many girls make a common mistake: they come to the conclusion that everything is serious with them and begin to make inappropriate demands and claims.
What attracts men to each other?
First of all, it is important to note that same-sex relationships are not a perversion, but a feature of a particular person. Some scientists even argue that changes in attraction to the opposite sex are laid down in utero. And if some kind of disruption occurs in the development of the fetus and the center of attraction is affected, the orientation changes to same-sex.
We can say that sympathy between guys is determined by nature. They are attracted to each other on a physiological level.
But, of course, there are other reasons why this or that young man likes guys:
- Socio-psychological factors. Namely, the role of the family in establishing interests in a particular gender, as well as the direction of family education.
- Behavioral aspects. Most often this is a bad experience with a partner of the opposite sex.
What kind of girls always attract guys?
Qualities that attract men:
Femininity
Men are attracted by femininity; it gives a feeling of comfort and harmony. How does femininity manifest itself? In smooth movements, the ability to control speech, demeanor, a kind attitude towards others, a calm look. Don’t forget about clothing in this matter. A light dress and elegant shorts will definitely add a feminine touch to your look, which is hard to say about ripped jeans, oversized T-shirts and other fashion trends.
Sincerity
Sparkling girls enjoy the attention and interest of men. Sincerity allows them not to be disingenuous, to be themselves, to remove all pretense, and to speak directly about thoughts and desires. The opposite sex finds it attractive.
Kindness
Quality that captivates everyone. Strong men “melt” before women’s tenderness and kindness; it attracts them and wins them over.
Sense of humor
Girls with a sense of humor and self-irony win in comparison with those lacking these qualities. Optimism is also impossible without humor. A woman who believes in the best, does not focus on the negative and knows how to laugh at a situation is much more interesting than grumbling and touchy ladies.
Faith in a man
Men need support and faith in their strength. By showing your chosen one such qualities, you will become his motivation. Taking a closer look at those around you, you will notice that couples where the woman believes in her partner are more successful and harmonious.
Online dating
Nowadays, probably one of the easiest and most accessible ways to find a guy is the Internet. Every user, even the most insecure, is fully capable of taking advantage of this opportunity.
Where to look?
- First of all, you need to turn to search engines - they will help you find specialized dating sites. There are places to look for different relationships - only intimate, long-term and even friendly.
- A large number of gays actively use social networks. Often their profiles are open and in groups you can also find a large number of advertisements for gay dating.
- Forums, chats, websites and even blogs will help a guy find a guy.
- Recently, dating apps for smartphones have become popular. They are easy to use and very functional.
The Internet especially helps modest, shy or insecure young men who are looking for a boyfriend. It gives you the opportunity to open up and get to know each other before meeting. But there is also a danger of stumbling upon deception. For safe dating and communication on the Internet, it is better to use Skype or video chat.
Continuation of acquaintance
After the question of where to find a guy has been resolved and a partner has been found, you can move on to the next stage - continuing the acquaintance.
- First meeting and first date. This stage is very important, since it is the first impression that will be the foundation for the further development of the relationship. Naturally, there is a need for dates if this is the format of the relationship. For a meeting, you can choose a closed terrace of a restaurant, the last screening of a movie, or just a walk around the city. It all depends on the mood and imagination of the partners.
- Instead of a standard date, healthy rendezvous is quite suitable. Based on the options described above, where to find a good guy, you can choose a swimming pool or a gym. It’s worth continuing acquaintance and communication there. Among other things, it is useful and interesting.
- The transition to the stage of closer relationships is decided by each gay couple individually. There is an opinion that gay male couples are only interested in sex, especially hard sex. This opinion is mostly wrong and in fact, many couples do without rough intimate relationships.
