Does your man not appreciate you? You sacrifice your time and desires for him, and he won’t even say “thank you”? Everything you do for him, he takes for granted. And it’s even more offensive that he finds fault with you and ignores any requests. In this article we will tell you why men do not value the women they love. And most importantly, we will give 5 recommendations, after which a man will begin to appreciate your every action towards him. And you will again feel loved, desired and significant next to him.
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Signs of depreciation
So how does devaluation manifest itself in relationships? A man constantly makes you wait or seems to completely forget about the appointment. Your opinion doesn't matter to him at all. At the last moment, despite the agreement, he cancels the general plans.
And sometimes he behaves as if you are forcing him to give gifts or asking him for money for your needs. As if you are not worthy of anything and he is doing you a favor, so to speak, from the “master’s shoulder”.
You have to earn his love and play by his rules. He dumps negativity on you, but he himself is not ready to listen or support. When you need him, he is never around, he has urgent and important things to do. For him, you are in honorable twenty-fifth place - after friends, work and pets.
Everything is literally boiling inside you from anger, resentment and accumulated discontent. You want to tell him everything you think about his behavior. So that he would finally feel ashamed. And he finally began to appreciate you and everything you do for him.
Stop, stop! This won't help matters. Because the result will be another quarrel, your tears and his: “I’m tired of your claims, you’re always dissatisfied with something. I don’t force you to do all this. If you don’t like it, look for someone else!” You may have heard something like this more than once. So you ask the question: “Why do women bend over backwards to please, but men don’t appreciate them?!”
Husband does not respect his wife, signs of disrespect: hidden and obvious
There are several things that indicate a lack of respect, both subtle and overt.
Disrespect must be detected in order to take timely action
Open signs:
- Doesn't listen to his wife. He doesn’t care what happens at her work, with her friends, etc.
- Refuses to help around the house. Women do all the housework themselves: cleaning, washing, carrying heavy bags, raising children.
- Constantly criticizes. The reasons are very different: appearance (figure, hairstyle, makeup, clothes), words, behavior, household chores. Negative assessments apply to girlfriends, relatives and everything else that is dear.
- Doesn't wish you happy holidays. Yes, it’s difficult after 20 years of marriage to celebrate the date of 1 kiss, but when a spouse forgets about a birthday or considers the event unimportant, it means that he does not appreciate the one who is next to him.
Hidden signs:
- His friends or mom know more. He doesn’t share his plans with his partner and doesn’t let him in on things.
- He doesn’t introduce him to his friends, he doesn’t bring him into his circle.
- He does not see a fragile woman in his wife and perceives him as an equal.
- It prohibits you from doing what you love, hobby or work. This is veiled by good intentions and external concern.
- Doesn't keep his word, ignores promises.
- Pays attention to other women and flirts actively.
- Spends time on the phone or computer.
Life story
Olga did everything to ensure that her relationship with her husband was long-lasting. Breakfast in bed, helped with work and agreed with all his decisions.
He always had clean and perfectly ironed clothes, a hearty dinner. She completely took charge of organizing everyday life and did not ask him for help, so as not to distract him. Go grocery shopping and bring 3 huge bags of 10 kg each home? No problem. Take out the trash? Why ask for such trifles, especially since his hands are busy with the phone. I'll go down myself.
She also created and maintained romance in the relationship. I made surprises. Therefore, Olga was absolutely sure that her husband should carry her in his arms. But it turned out the other way around. Over time, my husband began to take everything for granted. And if nothing was ready for dinner, he would unleash all the dogs on her.
Olga looked around and was jealous. Because one friend’s husband brings coffee to bed, the other constantly compliments and gives gifts. Despite the fact that they are not strained in a relationship, to put it mildly. Of course, she felt injustice and resentment. As a result, she began to make scandals for her husband and billed her for everything she did for him and the family. They began to live like a cat and a dog. But everyone, of course, was sure that he was unconditionally right.
An image of a woman that commands respect
Everyone will agree that, for example, a hairdresser with unkempt hair does not inspire professional trust. Likewise, a wife who claims priority positions in her husband’s life list must maintain an appropriate image. Let's talk about this in more detail:
Image and style
The inevitable fate of the fair half is that a woman should always be beautiful, stylish, neat, regardless of her status as a housewife or businesswoman. A lover always wants to see a stylish, attractive companion next to him.
Exemplary mother and housewife
These archetypal ideas are still relevant in today's gender-equal times. The husband appreciates the keeper of the family hearth; it is pleasant for him to return after a hard day at work to a clean house, in which well-groomed children are running around, and a hot dinner is waiting on the table.
Desired lover
The woman who is valued is the one who fills him with sexual energy, awakens desire, creates intrigue, and not just one who allows him to fulfill his marital duty in moments of good health.
Professional self-realization of a woman
Not a single housewife, even the most efficient one, will command as much respect as a woman who has a specialty, position, and professional responsibilities. She needs a profession to develop and become a self-sufficient person, and men are attracted to women’s independence.
Wife's desire for self-development
The second half should be interesting to his partner, he should see her obvious strengths, the desire to develop and improve herself. Few people will be interested in an overweight housewife, obsessed with sales and promotions in online stores.
Why men don't appreciate: the real reason
Unfortunately, such stories happen all the time. And the reason for the problem is quite simple - it lies in the thoughts of a woman and her attitude towards herself and towards men. If, first of all, you always and in everything think about a man, about making him feel good, and I’ll somehow get by, and in general I can handle it myself, then you don’t love and don’t value yourself.
All your actions and words have become the norm and even more so – your responsibility. Because you let the man know that this attitude suits you, you are ready to do everything for him, even to the detriment of yourself and your comfort. As a result, the man completely stopped noticing what he should appreciate and thank you for.
Women who value themselves do not sacrifice themselves, their needs and desires for the sake of relationships. They never give more than they can. At the same time, they receive a lot of love, tenderness and affection from their men - without lectures or persuasion.
What is devaluation, how men devalue women and why do they do it
There are many authors and many books in which writers often compare relationships to business. And there is some truth in this, some of the postulates are really similar. Similar is the key word, because the differences between these areas are also quite significant. I'll continue. If we translate the algorithm of actions in business into relationships, the algorithm of actions is devaluing, then a businessman. Let it be figuratively a man devaluing his partner during negotiations or evading fulfillment of a number of obligations undertaken by him under the law; he can do this for reasons whose variability is enormous, the question arises, what to do? Understand. Let's take a sober look at the situation.
Now all they dream about is business. MONEY MONEY MONEY. But is every businessman successful in at least one of his projects, does he make a PROFIT? To put it simply, has he reached the stage in the development of his business to the point where all investments have been repaid and the project brings constant resources in the form of a decent monthly income? What I mean is that in a relationship it can be that a man, say, trains on girls, and until a woman with an inner core and a sense of personal boundaries meets in his field, the algorithms for devaluing a partner will simply go into automatic processing in the form of a program.
Programs in the process of which the girl, for a number of reasons, COULD ALLOW THIS DEPRESSION. This often happens because she had too many illusions about her partner in her own head or was too naive and trusting - believing everything the man told her. Being able to listen in a relationship is good; it is bad when a woman does not monitor the correspondence of words with the actions of men, and when she does not do this. He does not analyze the situation in time to distance himself from at least deception, the process of devaluation starts again and again. What produces a powerful belief in a man's brain, perhaps unconsciously - I was given to use this woman.
And I did it. Then I devalue her in order to do it again because I’ve already dangled my legs before. Or because I don’t want to invest in this woman and she doesn’t make demands (there are no analytics in relationships) but I need sex and I’ll lie. And if a girl in this situation is also in love, it will be very, very difficult for her to get out and cope with herself. Now I have described to you a typical algorithm for the behavior of men in business, which they transfer into personal relationships. Of course, from a karmic point of view, such behavior is not correct and they will pay for it somehow. But what good is it for a woman to wait for this retribution, right?
You need to think about yourself, including, at least from the beliefs of healthy egoism, to have a number of ways on how not to fall into this draining energy funnel. I have seen many women who were literally sucked out from the inside by men, fueled by their energy. The woman’s recovery takes a long time, a set of beliefs are formed and she looks very sick for about a month and a half after the breakup. In addition, the fear of entering into a new relationship becomes very, very strong and quite justifiably. Let's solve this problem together and well, if you only feel the first bells of men's devaluation at the entrance to the situation, I'm happy for you, it means there is a chance that you can crawl out of this Kabbalah today.
Men don't appreciate: 5 recommendations
Apply them in practice, in your relationships, so that your man begins to appreciate you and your actions!
Get rid of the fear of being alone
Because he forces you to become dependent on a man. You are always afraid to do and say something wrong, because then he will leave. And you will be left alone. Moreover, you are afraid to express your opinion and always agree with the man, no matter how absurd his decision may be.
As soon as he asks for something or expresses his desire, you abandon your, perhaps very important, affairs and literally run to do what the man wants. And you hope that he will highly appreciate your action.
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Stop making complaints
And even more so, read out to a man a list of what he should value you for. Because this will only aggravate the situation, causing resistance and a defensive reaction on the part of the man. By proving to a man that he is wrong, you are trying to break through a concrete wall. This means you lose an incredibly huge amount of energy, which would be better spent on internal changes.
Identify all negative beliefs about yourself
For example: “I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not smart enough, no one but him will love someone like me.” And replace them with supportive ones. For example: “I am a unique and wonderful woman. I am worthy of love, care, gifts and all the best.” After that, make a list of what you value in yourself (for example, well-groomed hair, a beautiful smile, a gentle look). And be sure to say this to yourself every time you pass by the mirror. And within a week you will feel how your self-esteem will become much higher.
Affirmations for self-confidence >>>
Shift your focus to your loved one
That is, take your mind off the man and thoughts on how else to please him. Realize your needs and desires, pursue your fulfillment in your work or hobby. Basically, do what brings you joy.
And finally start loving yourself. Not for something, not through praise from anyone. But simply because you are you. Because there is no other person like him in the world.
Create a new relationship scenario
In which a man appreciates you, thanks you, pleases you and cares about you and your well-being. Describe in detail how a man treats you and imagine an image where you are the most valuable and desirable woman for him.
How to rewrite the relationship script >>>
What to do if nothing helps
If a man does not value the relationship, and the woman’s attempts to gain respect do not help, you need to find a specific reason and work with it. The main condition is that both partners must be interested in continuing the relationship.
When a man doesn’t want to change anything, and a woman is ready to fight for his attention, you can try to break up for a while. Living at a distance will make a guy reconsider his attitude towards you and change.
If a temporary separation leads to a final break, it is not worth seeking the man’s respect.
Advice from a psychologist: rules of conduct
Among the methods of what to do if a guy does not value a girl in a relationship, psychologists recommend trying to change the situation:
- Be self-sufficient, independent. Autonomy in decision making will prove to a man that you are worthy of respect.
- Do not allow yourself to be criticized unreasonably. Any nagging directed at you must be stopped immediately so that they do not subsequently develop into insults.
- Choose friends according to your own liking. A man has no right to decide who you communicate with, what places to visit, where to work.
A man should not be allowed to show superiority, since the union of two people must be built on equality and mutual respect.
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