Updated July 22, 2021 939 Author: Dmitry Petrov
Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. Some couples celebrate every month that their relationship has become even longer and stronger.
They create a romantic atmosphere and give each other meaningful little things, crying with happiness. Others do not even breathe a sigh when their parents celebrate 50 years of marriage.
A simple example can be given when, while watching a melodrama, one person will constantly wipe his eyes, and the other will sit with a stony face.
Is a sentimental person some special type of personality, capable of perceiving a situation more deeply? And how to deal with this trait if it bothers you?
Definition of the concept
What does the word "sentimentality" mean? The literal meaning is sensitivity. The name is derived from the French word sentiment, which translates as “feelings”. This is a personality trait in which a person perceives the world around him through the prism of feelings. In simple words, in the struggle between heart and mind, the heart always wins - there is too much sentimentality in a person.
What else is characteristic of a sentimental person? He reacts more sharply to any event. Emotions can be both positive and negative. A sentimental person is easy to surprise, impress, and delight. But he is just as easy to offend and hurt. In most cases, excessive sensitivity is manifested by a heightened sense of compassion and an enthusiastic attitude towards the world. What will not cause any emotions in one person will touch the sentimental one to the depths of his soul. Sometimes this manifests itself in tears for no reason or reason. True, to others, the tears of a sentimental person almost always seem causeless.
Note! Heightened sensitivity does not guarantee kindness, generosity, altruism and other qualities of virtue. A sentimental person can be an egoist, a cynic, an evil type. And often this is what happens if from childhood he realizes that his peculiarity is not accepted, if he is laughed at, mocked.
Sentimental - what is it?
Taking everything to heart, trying on any situation, even the closest interlocutor, worrying about things that seem trivial from the outside - the reason for this is the person’s temperament and upbringing. The combination of these factors distinguishes people who, for example, cry at the movie Hachiko.
"Sentiment" is a concept borrowed from the French language, where "sentiment" is translated as "feeling." This is a psychological trait characterized by increased perception of the outside world and daydreaming.
In the classic example, sentimental people are melancholic people who grew up surrounded by creative people. Information and impressions from the environment influence their feelings more than their thinking. That's why they get so upset by bad news or a touching moment in a movie.
This trait can be called hypersensitivity because sentimental people have a much lower sensitivity threshold than normal people. When the other person shows no emotion, the sentimental person may suddenly change his mood, wince or shed a tear.
There is an opinion that the cause of sentimentality is self-pity, which arises when we compare ourselves with the “hero” of some situation or story. But this goes away after a while, and the person does not want to attract attention to himself.
Sentimentality is a combination of various factors: character, personality type, temperament, etc.
Sentimentality in men and women
Most people consider hypersensitivity to be a trait typical of women and unforgivable for men. It actually has nothing to do with gender. At the same time, men tend to hide their emotions.
For the most part, women are indeed a little more emotional than men, which is due to greater mobility and plasticity of the nervous system. This is also due to the peculiarity of male and female thinking: the former think linearly (keep attention to only one thing, do not move on to another until they finish it), and the latter think systemically (keep a lot of attention, talk about everything at once).
Psychologists are also still arguing about the difference in thinking between men and women. But it is reliably known that sensitivity depends on the type of nervous system, that is, on temperament. People with a mobile type are more prone to sentimentality. This group includes sanguine and choleric people. But sentimentality is also influenced by the imbalance of the nervous system. According to this principle, the melancholic person joins the already mentioned temperaments. Temperament is an innate characteristic that is not related to gender. So it turns out that excessive sensitivity is also not related to gender.
The only thing that can explain the difference in sentiment between men and women is hormonal characteristics. The higher the testosterone level, the less sensitivity. Over the years, its level decreases in men and women. Based on this, the concept of “senile sentimentality” emerged.
Let's look at the characteristics of sentimentality in men and women in a little more detail.
Sentimentality in men
Hearing from early childhood that “men don’t cry,” boys get used to suppressing their emotions. But, for example, people with creative thinking are not at all embarrassed by their feelings. And other men can also be very sensitive regarding a specific matter, interest, hobby or particular area of life.
For example, men are much more sentimental than women in relationships with children, especially daughters. Many people painfully experience failures at work and in business. Yes, maybe a man will not cry (although this also happens, and there is nothing terrible about it), but he will feel what is called “cats scratching at his soul.” Many men love to look after girls beautifully, arrange surprises, give gifts - these are also manifestations of sentimentality. This feature of the psyche is often combined with romance.
Sentimentality in women
Often, some women pretend to be sentimental, and many mistakenly believe that they are overly emotional. Using this as a cover, you can throw tantrums, pout, manipulate in relationships, expect concessions at work, etc. But, as studies show, women and men are approximately equally emotional. And even more: in terms of details, men are more attentive. For example, a study was conducted where men and women were asked to look at portraits of people and guess the emotions captured. Men coped with this task better. They revealed subtle facial changes.
If male sensitivity is more noticeable in the sphere of hobbies, business and relationships with children, then sentimentality in women manifests itself in all its glory in relationships with men. Another interesting feature: female sensitivity is more often noticeable in the context of negative events, and male sensitivity in the context of positive ones.
Important! Excessive sensitivity is often considered a congenital characteristic, but it can also be acquired. For example, many girls become more vulnerable and tearful during pregnancy and before menstruation (due to hormonal changes). With some diseases that cause hormonal imbalance, increased sensitivity is also noticeable.
Three proofs that tears are a sign of a strong personality
There is a common but false belief that tears are a sign of lack of character. But only mentally stable people can see reality as it is and react correctly to what is happening. In fact, crying is a sign of superpower.
Let us immediately note that you must understand:
- Sentimentality is a mental property that, depending on the context, can be a manifestation of sensitivity or selfishness.
- Sentimentality is a trend in literature, poetry and advertising.
- Tears are part of what makes us human.
- The ability to cry and not be ashamed of your emotions is a trait of a strong person.
Thus, strong personalities are not afraid of their tears because:
1 - Able to control emotions
Emotional intelligence plays the same role as IQ. This is the ability to understand your emotions, to know the meaning of experiences in the context of your life. Emotions are essential for motivation, self-control and self-discipline.
A strong person develops and values his emotional intelligence. They do not give in to momentary impulses to throw out their emotions on others. Feeling anger and rage boiling inside, he is able to stop time to pause and comprehend what is happening. But then he reduces the emotional tension of listening to the ballad.
2 - They know how to empathize
Sympathy does not mean shedding a tear over someone’s misfortune and moving on with your life. It's asking the right questions, listening and understanding the other person's feelings.
A strong person is a person who gives orders. He is able to convince another person that sharing feelings and experiences is normal. He does not impose his opinion, does not give ready-made solutions to problems, and does not pull the blanket over himself. But a strong man is ready to share his experience. And this requires special sensitivity and your own emotional experience. 3.
3 – Don’t seek everyone’s approval
It's normal to want to be liked by others. But sometimes the strength of personality lies in giving up the desire to be everyone's favorite.
A strong person knows that emotions are more important than social norms, and does not try to look like a super machine in order to demonstrate his courage every minute. It creates a personal scale to evaluate yourself and others. He has enough internal resources not to rely on the opinions of others. This fills a person's life with much more freedom and personal power.
Sentimentality allows us to remain people with a high degree of empathy
Sentimentality: pros and cons
It is impossible to say for sure whether this is good or bad. Especially if we are talking about an innate feature of the psyche. Perhaps everything is good in moderation. It is difficult to work or live with a person who is offended and cries over any comment, even if it is expressed as a wish in a positive way. But it is also impossible to interact with a callous person who does not know how to enter into the position of another and empathize.
The main disadvantage of heightened sensitivity is harm to the person himself. All people of this type are at risk for exhaustion and emotional burnout. Some people feel guilty when they realize that they cannot help someone, or when they worry about universal injustice and their inability to help everyone. In addition, due to excessive sensitivity, some people quarrel with others. And it happens that acquaintances take advantage of a person’s sentimentality - then he feels unhappy and weak.
But not everything is so simple. At the same time, sentimentality helps in social interaction. Sentimental people feel better about the moods and states of other people. They know how to support, you can always turn to them in difficult times, when you need to talk it out.
Thus, in moderation, sentimentality is useful and helps in your personal life and at work. Excessive sentimentality interferes with building business, friendship or love relationships. Manifestations of excessive sensitivity can be controlled, and insufficient emotionality can be developed.
Interesting! Sentimental people tend to idealize. They do not notice the flaws in something that caused them a strong emotional reaction. But this is only true if we are talking about positive emotions. With negative experiences, a sentimental person, on the contrary, is prone to devaluation, that is, he notices only the shortcomings of another person, situation, etc.
5 Reasons Why People Get Sentimental
“Why did I become sentimental?” As a rule, such thoughts come to a person who has already reached a certain age. However, other reasons may also affect this. Let's look at them in more detail.
Age
Sentimentality becomes more pronounced with age. We have already said that hormone levels change with age. Men, in particular, change their character. They become softer, more emotional, and they develop the ability to empathize. It is the representatives of the stronger sex who begin to search for the meaning of life.
They go back to the past, relive happy moments again and again, realize that they lived with the wrong women, did not participate in raising children, etc. But they can't go back. All that remains is to indulge in dreams.
In addition, older people have a long history of life experience. The situations that others face are familiar to them, they have experienced them in the past. Memories sharpen their perception of the outside world. It seems to the elderly man that he has found himself in the distant past when the same events happened to him. Emotions are visible.
Perhaps only with age does a person begin to appreciate life, to understand how beautiful the world is and how wonderful the sunrise is, which we may not see tomorrow. One of the reasons for sentimentality can be safely called ageism.
Lack of serotonin
A lack of the happiness hormone can lead to excessive sentimentality. If a person does not experience pleasure and joy, he is prone to tearfulness and tenderness. Autumn, darkness and cloudy weather cause sadness. We crave bright sunshine and warmth. At this time, sentimentality manifests itself in increased tearfulness for no good reason. If you are prone to seasonal depression, you should seek help from a psychologist.
But in spring we bloom along with nature. We delight in the sparse grass, warm sunshine and high blue sky. Emotions are heightened. This is why many people feel more deeply during this time.
Upbringing
Sometimes upbringing can explain why a person is sentimental. If a child grew up in a family of emotional, sensitive, affectionate parents, then most likely he himself will become like that. Reading novels and watching melodramas can develop sentimentalism. If a child grows up in such an atmosphere, sentimentality is guaranteed.
Changes in hormonal levels
At certain periods of life, women and men experience hormonal changes. Testosterone influences men's sentimentality. When it becomes smaller, the stronger sex becomes softer and more vulnerable.
Important! Sudden sentimentality and tearfulness may be a sign of illness. Consult your doctor.
Women during menopause, menstruation or pregnancy also react more sharply to everything that happens. If temporary sentimentality prevents you from leading a normal life, consult a specialist. He or she may prescribe medications to stabilize hormone levels.
Features of the psyche
Creative people are overly sentimental. They are more sensitive to nature, the mood of others, and events. Poets and artists succumb to the impulses of the soul and create real masterpieces. This is a feature of the psyche, innate increased emotionality.
Of course, we are not just talking about creative people. Every person has the ability to empathize. Some people simply experience emotions more strongly than others, while others tend to bury them deep inside.
The child’s family and environment have the most important influence on the development of his personality
How to deal with sentimentality
Do we need to fight sentimentality? If you understand that it interferes with your work and personal life, is psychologically exhausting and physically harmful, then you need to get rid of it. How to do it? Use the anchoring method.
How to get rid of sentimentality and tearfulness for a woman or man:
- Choose any incentive. This could be a word (for example, “stop”), some object (what you will carry with you), sound, smell, etc. - anything.
- Practice interacting with this stimulus. What should be done? Form a stable association between the stimulus and the state of stability, rationality, and restraint. How to achieve this? Choose the state you want to feel instead of an attack of sensuality. Remember any situation in which you experienced exactly this feeling/state. Immerse yourself in it as much as possible, imagine. Example: silently or out loud say “stop”, then remember a situation of power (let’s call it that).
- Repeat the workout regularly. Your goal is to learn to immerse yourself in the desired state without much effort, just by looking at the stimulus or hearing it, feeling it (depending on what you chose).
- Exercise regularly at home, and not just in those moments when your feelings ask to come out. After 2-4 weeks you will notice the first lasting results, and after a couple of months you will be able to easily immerse yourself in the desired state, just by telling yourself “stop”.
Regular practice helps rewire neural connections in your brain, causing you to respond in new ways and learn to control your behavior.
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Examples of sentimentality
Heightened sensitivity occurs in all areas of life or only in one thing. For example, a person can be sentimental about animals and completely indifferent, or even cruel, towards people. Some people are sentimental only about joyful events, surprises, compliments, and romantic stories. And some people react excessively emotionally to criticism, remarks, insults, and tragic stories.
A sentimental person may cry when watching a film, hearing a story. Interestingly, sentimental reactions are more often associated with events in other people's lives or with fantastic stories. A person can react rather restrainedly to events in his life. This is due to the fact that excessive emotionality is most associated with compassion and empathy.
History of the term
This concept was first mentioned in European countries in the second half of the 18th century. This term denoted sensuality and reaction to the works read.
In Russia, this term appeared at the beginning of the 19th century. It meant an overly emotional reaction, an idealized image of human experience, life and nature. This was a counterbalance to the strict classicism characteristic of ordinary people.
Now the word “sentimental” means a feeling person, an empath who treats the feelings and thoughts of other people with compassion. Including those feelings that are expressed in works of art, literature or cinema.
