How to become a sociable and interesting person: 8 ways to improve the quality of communication

Hi all! Today we'll talk about sociability. As you know, man is a social being. This means that he will not be able to fully develop without communication. At each age stage, a person learns to communicate, perceive and transmit information. Scientists have proven that even inside the mother, the child hears her speech and reacts to it. Today, the problem of high-quality, pleasant and interesting communication worries many. Every person wants to be interesting and appreciated, but sometimes we all have to experience embarrassment and difficulties in communication. Below we will figure out how to become a sociable and interesting person so that our interlocutors want to continue communicating with us.

COMPLETE LIST OF HUMAN SKILLS

Why be sociable and friendly

Active and energetic people are always visible. But not everyone can be like this; some find it difficult to make new acquaintances, while others find it difficult to maintain friendships. Some people feel embarrassed during pauses in conversation, others, in principle, cannot insert a phrase into the dialogue in time. So, why be sociable, and what benefits does being sociable bring?

Throughout life, a child, then an adult, is constantly in society. One way or another, he has to intersect with other people. All of these intersections can be of great service in some issue or difficult circumstances. Many people strive to make useful contacts for selfish purposes. And they succeed!

Sociability relieves a person from the feeling of loneliness, allows you to learn something new, useful, develops, helps you find “your” person to live with or friends. And these are basic needs, without which we will not experience full happiness. Being more sociable is useful for many, but there are some nuances here, which we will look at below.

Signs of a sociable person

In psychology, the terms “sociability” and “communication skills” are different. If we talk about sociability, then this is the process of exchanging information, which is aimed at establishing contacts with other people. It is universal, that is, it manifests itself in all types of human activity, helps to realize and understand oneself and other people.

Communication is a skill that allows a person to start, build, and maintain relationships. The main signs of a sociable person are:

• openness - a sociable person seems open to many, he can talk to everyone and about everything, openly declaring his opinion;
• gaiety is a sense of humor; a cheerful person sometimes maintains a conversation through successful phrases spoken with humor, he is humorous, he exudes positivity;
• talkative - a sociable person may seem too talkative at first glance, but this is his specialty, due to this quality he does not lose communication with a person and knows how to maintain him constantly;
• determination is another characteristic of a sociable person; such people often use communication as a skill to achieve any goals in work, negotiations, or study;
• confidence is an important sign, since an insecure person does not know how to behave in society, how to present himself and his point of view, therefore only confident people have sociability;
• restraint - with all his charisma, energy and humor, a sociable person is reserved, as he is looking for common ground with his interlocutor;
• flexibility - such a person is flexible, he can adapt to any situation, any rules, he is proactive and quickly adapts to everything new;
• an improviser - communication for him is like creativity, he is not content with his monologue, but is always sensitive to feedback;
• lack of talkativeness - sociability is not the same as talkativeness, a sociable interlocutor will not burden another with unnecessary information, a conversation with him is useful and interesting.

It has been proven that it is easier for some to become sociable; this depends on character traits, temperament, and the conditions of personality development. If a person is an introvert, it is quite difficult for him to be flexible and constantly communicate. It’s much easier for an extrovert.

Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor

Rules of Communication: Freepick
Communication is often compared to a two-way street. If your point of view is opposite to that of your interlocutor, do not be afraid to express it. But at the same time, reduce the tension by trying to understand why the person thinks differently. Media psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky claims that in a dispute, everyone can be right in their own way.

Do not try to prove anything to your interlocutor or impose your point of view. Get into his emotional state. If a person is tired and irritated, it is unlikely that he will be able to immediately resolve the disagreement that has arisen. Save the conversation for later. Develop empathy skills, learn to understand your emotions and the feelings of others.

Where do communication problems come from?

Communication problems do not just arise; they mature in the child’s psyche starting from childhood. In the family, he sees how the parents act, how they communicate, and repeats after them. If the child’s feelings were not taken into account, he was not heard, a lot was decided for him, he will already be prepared for difficulties in communications.

When a child enters society, it also influences the development of communication. Along with this, self-esteem also develops. If even an adult finds himself in an unfamiliar situation, where he is very different from the group in social and financial status, and the group will greatly influence him, his self-esteem will be shaken. What can we say about the child?

Developing in an unfavorable environment, communication difficulties are reinforced, resulting in an insecure person with communication problems. Such an interlocutor realizes himself as inept in communication and insecure and withdraws from reality into the Internet, alcohol and other bad habits.

Main problems in communication:

• I don’t know what topic to discuss with my interlocutor;
• I want to be friends or date a girl/boyfriend, but I don’t know how to achieve this;
• I don’t know how to defend myself and defend my opinion in disputes and conflicts.

Many turn to psychologists with requests: how to stop being shy, learn to communicate, and be confident. These problems can be solved; it is important to understand yourself, your characteristics and difficulties, then look for ways out of a difficult situation in communication.

The main secret of communication skills

Do you know what the main secret of communication skills is?

This is a kind of magic elixir, thanks to which you can become a communicative person.

Everything is extremely simple. You need to enjoy communication. You should not force yourself to smile insincerely at your opponent, the person will feel false.

Know how to win people over

You need to start any business with a smile and a good mood. You must enjoy active communication. We ourselves shape the world around us. And we also create a social circle ourselves.

Treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself. And you will see positive, smart, interesting interlocutors appear around you. This rule applies to all areas of social life. Be it work activity or the sphere of personal relationships.

Tune in for the good

Never set yourself up for an uninteresting, sluggish and boring conversation, even if you have one.

Include imagination, the power of persuasion, and a good mood.

Learn improvisation, which is the pinnacle of achieving a high level of communication skills.

Try to interest your interlocutor with non-verbal gestures, switch his attention, and do not load him with too much unnecessary information.

Differences in communication between men and women

The structure of the male and female psyches is different. Women are considered more talkative, while men are always considered silent. But this is a myth, a misconception. Practice shows that women can also be silent, and sometimes men cannot be talked over. Therefore, we will look at the main differences in communication between these two sexes.

1. The woman is focused on the communication process. It often doesn’t matter to her what to talk about, it is important that this process continues and does not end. Men are tuned to the result of the exchange of information. This is why sometimes it is difficult for the stronger sex to make many friends, since you cannot talk to many people about common activities.
2. Observations have shown that women are better listeners. They will sympathize, nod, shake their heads. Such manifestations are not typical for men unless they are trained to do so. The male population tends to interrupt and give an answer without fully listening to the question.
3. Men are brief in their statements. Women tend to use artistic expression and description. They can repeat the same question several times, while men do not see the need for this.

But these differences are relative. If a man wants to become a business coach, manager or any other specialist who needs to speak in front of a large audience, he can develop his communication skills, gradually become easier to communicate with, and earn the “audience award.” And some women want to become sociable and self-confident, since excess shyness gets in the way.

How to be a sociable and interesting person with people: ways

Teaching communication skills is an art. Therefore, in personal growth and business trainings, a large block of theory and practice is devoted to communication. Let's figure out what methods help increase the quantity and quality of communication.

Take your time

Take your time to get acquainted and start communicating. Oddly enough, this is the first recommendation when teaching communication. A stranger will be annoyed by intrusive questions about family, education, and personal interests.

At the first contact, a greeting and a short conversation on general topics, for example, about the weather, events in the world, the country, are enough. Only at the next meeting can you deepen your knowledge about the person and tell a little about yourself.

Listen

Develop your listening skills. This is important so that the interlocutor is not loaded with unnecessary information about problems in your family, complaints about a difficult life, or embellished successes of your children. Good communication involves active listening. Ask questions on the topic of conversation, comment.

Look for similarities

Look for something in common. Sometimes completely different people collide in communication. But a sociable interlocutor will always find a common language with anyone. The secret is simple: he learned to take into account obvious interests and hidden ones. You can share experiences, opinions, interests with people.

The search for common topics for conversation can be carried out through suggestive conversations, for example, how was the weekend, what does he want to do. Such questions reveal the interests and values ​​of the participants in communication.

Be willing to help

You can be confident and not shy in dialogue due to the desire to be useful. This is another secret to successful communication. Try to look for topics where you can be useful to a person. Your help to him can be in simply listening to problems and experiences.

Be reasonably confident

Confidence should be moderate. People are put off by excessive shyness and stardom. You need to be confident, know your worth, and stop being shy about expressing your opinion.

Take the initiative

Initiative is always commendable. In a conversation, it is wrong to just nod, listen and that’s it. Many people are even annoyed by this behavior. Therefore, sometimes ask new topics for discussion, insist on them, show in these topics your erudition, knowledge that you are an intelligent and interesting person.

Develop your humor

Develop your wit. In some companies, competition in wits is visible even to the naked eye. There is no need for this in dialogues, but sometimes you need to insert a funny statement or a witty phrase. Laughter always relieves tension; positive people are valued and people want to communicate with them further. Read this article to learn how to improve your humor and learn how to make funny jokes.

React

All people are not perfect, sometimes there are incidents in communication. You will be highly appreciated if you learn to turn negative aspects into a joke and emphasize positive ones. Cultivate the following qualities in yourself: do not be offended by trifles, do not react to provocations with rude statements. But there is no need to ignore the barbs directed at you.

If a person intentionally wanted to offend you, show that you are hurt, but forgive him. Such generosity will force him not to do this in the future. Noble behavior allows you to attract people and make friends easily.

And about

How to become more talkative, open and cheerful on your own

To be an ace in communication, you need to develop 3 areas of communication. They will allow you to be harmonious and successful in conversations.

Verbal communication

Starting a conversation and maintaining it requires important skills. Let's figure out how anyone, even an introvert, can become more sociable and be able to carry on a conversation.

Step 1

Learn to start a conversation. The beginning can be based on an observation “I noticed that you...”, a compliment “you look great in a dress...”, a general topic “Isn’t it really nice weather today...”

Step 2

Keep the conversation going not with general phrases, but with specific questions and topics, reveal information about yourself, such as your favorite movie, hobbies, leisure activities, interests. You can speak out about an issue by expressing your opinion. But don't post too personal information right away.

Try to ask questions that do not require “yes” or “no” answers. Such questions are called open-ended, that is, after them there should be a detailed answer with some information.

Step 3

Practice talking at a bus stop with strangers, neighbors, colleagues. It should be about nothing, just to practice your skills. Set yourself a rule: compliment anyone twice a day.

Non-verbal

If we can leave something unsaid with words, then our body language will give us away. All our uncertainty and fear can be read by an experienced person by posture, position of arms and legs, gestures and posture. To become relaxed on a non-verbal level, it is important to apply the following recommendations. You can even flirt with non-verbal language.

Step 1

Identify your problems. An open person can be confident and easily start a conversation. To do this, try not to slouch, and not to cross your arms and legs. Eye contact is also important. If it is a huge effort for you to look your interlocutor in the eyes, then problems begin with communication. Tone of voice, posture, and facial expression are also nonverbal.

Step 2

After identifying your problems, solve them. Ask a loved one to watch you from the side while communicating. Let him notice how you talk, in what tone and with what facial expression. When speaking, work on looking at your interlocutor, keeping your hands free, smiling, and using gestures when explaining.

Self confidence

You can develop self-confidence and increase self-esteem at any conscious age. This is a skill that will result in you being able to communicate very fluently. Let's think about how to learn to communicate confidently.

Step 1

Identify the conditions under which you lose confidence. Is it difficult for you to express your opinion or ask for something? Do you know how to say no? After that, try to build on your feelings and talk about them without thinking about the consequences. Try to express your opinion on any matter, even if it differs from the views of the majority.

Learn to say no. You have the right not to do what you don't want. If you refuse (if you have finally decided), do not apologize, stop justifying yourself. Just start saying this word one day.

Step 2

Establish yourself in confident communication. If a phrase is difficult to say at first, think it through, then speak. Confidence takes practice.

Choose a communication style based on the interlocutor

The best speakers use different communication styles depending on the audience they are speaking to. It is useful to take note of this in everyday life. Analyze which style of communication is more suitable for colleagues or boss, for close friends, children or parents.

It is important to treat any interlocutor with respect and take into account his/her characteristics in order to convey information as successfully as possible. Observing both yourself and other people will help. Find people whose communication styles you like and emulate them in similar situations.

Useful books for developing sociability

To be cool among your peers, sociable at work and sociable at home, study several books on developing communication skills. There are several popular sources that will even teach you how to become the most sociable from a gamer. If you are short on time, use audiobooks. By reading books, you broaden your horizons, which is also useful for communication skills.

Here are the basic books for leveling up your skill:

1. “Mastery of communication. How to get along with anyone,” Paul McGee.
2. “We turn on the charm using the methods of the secret services,” Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins.
3. “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation techniques”, Mark Goulston.
4. “Secrets of communication. The Magic of Words”, James Borg.

How to become more confident, lively and pleasant in communication

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Trainings are great for developing communication skills.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:

1. Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
2. For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
3. To everyone who is involved in raising children.
4. Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

1. Communicate with closed people.
2. Coping with daily problems involving other people.
3. Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

1. Emotions. Basics.
2. Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
3. Social efficiency.
4. Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

1. You are watching video lectures.
2. Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
3. Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
4. Take tests on the material you have studied.
5. You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

There is an article on our blog reviewing the Vikium platform on which the training will take place, read:

• Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews

Well, are we studying?

Ask questions

In order not to lose the thread of communication, after the last phrase of the interlocutor, repeat his last few words. This will demonstrate interest and attention to what the person is saying, and will also help clarify points that may have been misunderstood.

During communication, always feel free to ask again and clarify anything that raises doubts. This helps develop the conversation and fill pauses. Ask questions on topics of interest and discuss the answers. People are attracted to being genuinely interested in what they have to say.