- September 4, 2018
- Psychiatry
- Michail Shattrie
The topic of self-harm in society is one of the most taboo and hushed up problems. Such behavior is condemned in every possible way, and no one is interested in its reasons. To others, people who torture their bodies seem infantile, problematic, and stupid. It is believed that in this way they are trying to attract attention to themselves. Another reason why people cut themselves is alcohol or drug addiction.
What it is?
Most are of the opinion that only teenagers of recent decades cause physical harm to themselves. The reason for this is said to be the huge amount of violence and information overload. However, how to cut oneself has been known since ancient times. Religious fanatics resorted to various methods of self-torture, believing that the suffering of the body purifies the soul. Physical pain can really temporarily drown out mental pain. But why do teenagers and adults actually cut themselves, and what provokes such desires?
Self-harm is the infliction of intentional damage to one’s body for internal reasons without suicidal intentions. Considered a symptom of some mental disorders. Among them are borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, bulimia, anorexia, bipolar disorder and others. But people can cut themselves without a clinical diagnosis, but it is often associated with depression, anxiety and other mental health problems.
Common types of self-harm:
- Cuts on palms, wrists and thighs.
- Scratching the skin until it bleeds.
- Burns.
- Throwing the body onto hard surfaces, hitting the head against walls.
- Self-suffocation, head squeezing.
- Interfering with the healing of wounds and scratches, their constant opening.
- Swallowing inedible objects.
- Piercing the skin with sharp and piercing objects.
Knicks
Cuts to arms, legs and face
Knicks. Photo: Alena Agadzhikova for TD
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, self-harm is one of the manifestations. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for the last few years, taking antidepressants and mood stabilizers with a sedative effect. Not long ago I went into remission, and during this time I had no desire to touch the blade.
I started cutting my hands when I was twelve. It was a desire to punish myself, to take revenge for the fact that I was pathetic, cowardly and worthless. I wanted to push the boundaries of what was available, go against myself and my own instincts, overcome the fear of pain and prove that I was worth something. Suppressed aggression also led to self-harm. But most importantly, I wanted to feel alive. I clearly remember self-loathing mixed with a feeling of strange delight with which I first passed the blade over my skin. The sight of blood and damage was mesmerizing. I also wanted to ground myself through rituals of disinfection, stopping bleeding, bandaging... when you do all of this, depression fades into the background.
Knicks. Photo: Alena Agadzhikova for TD
My self-harm, like my illness, is a part of me. This is neither good nor bad, just a fact. I don't see the point in paying too much attention to my scars, but I don't deny them. I remember I was trying to get into college and a friend asked me before the exam: “Do you want to pull your sleeves down?” I replied that, of course not.
What helped me the most was treatment from a specialist. When my psyche stopped writing unimaginable pretzels, I stopped cutting myself. The thing that has helped me the most is getting rid of everything that makes me unhappy. First I got rid of the toxic environment, then I gave up trying to work anywhere other than at home. Now my rule is this: if there is something that prevents me from living and being happy, I need to look for ways to get rid of it, not try to tolerate it and come to terms with it.
Types of damage
The described damage can be divided into the following types:
- Impulsive. A person (often a teenager) causes harm to himself under a strong influx of emotions. This happens without intention or desire, unexpectedly, thoughtlessly and automatically.
- Stereotypical. People with a stereotypical type of self-harm in most cases inflict bruises on themselves. Typically for people with autism or developmental delays.
- Compulsive or moderate. Obsessive thoughts force a person to cause physical harm to himself. May be present in persons of any age.
Avoid conflicts with drunk people
Alcohol intoxication seriously changes the perception of external reality, values and priorities of the drinker. Therefore, you should not try to reason with a relative by beating or swearing.
How not to provoke an alcoholic into aggression? Unfortunately, under the influence of alcohol, people often behave inappropriately and see everyone as an enemy. Therefore, it is not always possible to avoid conflict - alcoholics tend to start them themselves.
What you can do: Talk to your loved one when he sobers up. Talk about his unacceptable behavior. Let him understand that if this happens again, it will lead to negative consequences: divorce, moving, etc.
Under no circumstances should you: swear and make a scene, humiliate a person, try to lecture, beat or show violence in any other way. All the same, in such a state a person cannot normally perceive even the most correct arguments.
Causes
This behavior is explained by two theories related to physiology:
- Serotonin theory. A lack of serotonin in some people causes them to cope poorly with stress and begin to cut themselves. Painful sensations cause a surge of serotonin and improve a person’s well-being.
- Opiate theory. The brain's anti-pain system is activated during bruises and wounds. Opiates are natural pain relievers, which dull pain and cause euphoria. People who regularly physically harm themselves can become accustomed to such effects.
The causes of self-harm can be both internal and external. Most often, such behavior hides a person's attempts to cope with emotional discomfort. The motive for starting to cut yourself can be any stressful situation. For example, the reasons could be:
- Intrafamily problems: abuse, divorce proceedings, tyranny of wife or husband, neglect, excessive severity of parents.
- Own powerlessness, resentment.
- Experienced sexual violence.
Content
- Don't correct an alcoholic's mistakes
- Stop hiding or pouring out alcohol
- Do not humiliate an alcohol addict in front of strangers
- Avoid violence towards the drinker
- Replace naivety with realism
- Don't give medications without a prescription
- Stop hiding your relative's alcoholism
- Stop being in total control
- Avoid conflicts with drunk people
- Stop drinking together and stocking up on alcohol
- Keep taking care of yourself
- Don't be self-flagellation
- Don't try to overcome difficulties on your own
Alcoholism is a problem not only for the addicted person, but also for those around him. Under the influence of the disease, the character changes. An alcoholic goes on a long binge and then his work and social life suffer. Alcohol makes him aggressive and uncontrollable.
Alcohol addiction can deprive a person of work and dull his mental abilities. In addition, loved ones suffer: children, spouses, parents. A relative’s illness can cause them to develop their own addiction, neuroses, and severe depression.
Unfortunately, there is no universal solution to how to learn to live with an alcoholic. Much depends on how much your loved one understands the problem and is ready to solve it. The only thing that can be recommended is: don’t live if you don’t have the strength or desire to do so. But this option is not always possible.
If for some reason you end up with an addict, here are some tips to help you avoid some of the most common pitfalls.
Why don't people find other ways to cope with emotional stress?
In medicine, the desire to self-harm is explained by the following reasons:
- Low self-esteem. Teens who suffer from cutting themselves often have low self-esteem. They consider themselves ugly, stupid, worthless, uninteresting, and do not see anything significant in themselves and their lives.
- Perfectionism, excessive demands. In order to relax and enjoy, a teenager requires impossible conditions. This is due to high expectations and high standards set by parents, school, loved one, and friends. The highly competitive environment in which it finds itself also has its impact. The subject of competition can be beauty standards, educational achievements and social status. Teenagers in such conditions are subconsciously convinced that everything must be perfect, otherwise they have to punish themselves.
- Emotional vulnerability. Cold relationships in the family are also one of the causes of self-harm. Such behavior is provoked by a peculiar culture of attitude towards the emotional component. Teenagers living in such conditions are emotionally incompetent and have difficulty understanding and expressing their own emotions. An incorrect emotional attitude leads to the fact that adolescents cannot turn to loved ones for help.
Stage five. Acceptance and revaluation
Acceptance and reconciliation are not the same thing. Acceptance means that a person has come to understand that he can live with his illness, that the patient has developed clear positive goals and aspirations, the implementation of which even illness cannot prevent. At this stage, it is time to re-evaluate your life, your plans and goals. Often, only after making a serious diagnosis do people understand what is really important and valuable to them, what is worth spending time and energy on, they focus on what is most important for themselves and give up what is unnecessary.
Myth #3: Attracting attention to yourself
People who hurt themselves need love, attention and good treatment from others and loved ones, but this does not mean that they are trying to attract attention to themselves by self-torture. People who find themselves in such a situation try to stand out with their appearance and behavior: they either dress brightly or have excellent manners and politeness. The consequences of self-harm are never revealed, but are hidden and hushed up by wearing long sleeves or inflicting injuries in hidden places.
Don't correct an alcoholic's mistakes
A typical situation: the son drinks, gets behind the wheel and gets into an accident. Parents immediately go to resolve the conflict with the police, pay fines and compensation, and restore their rights. This should not be done for several reasons.
Firstly, by taking care of your adult relative, you encourage him to take a childish position. A person will not learn to take responsibility for his own actions if problems are constantly solved for him. Gratitude will very soon be replaced by the feeling that the consequences of mistakes are not his concern.
Secondly, you provoke a new relapse. For example, if your loved one has already driven drunk once, nothing will stop him from doing it again. Often such indulgences lead to death - more than half of the crimes are committed while intoxicated.
How to deal with an alcoholic in the family: let them deal with the consequences of their decisions and actions on their own. This will help you quickly realize that a bad habit can ruin your life if you don’t start treatment.
How to stop cutting yourself?
The person believes that he has no way out, and the only way to cope with stress is to inflict physical pain on himself. However, the problem lies in the fact that the relief brought by self-torture is short-lived.
From a psychiatric point of view, the desire to cut veins and harm oneself is a complex problem that requires therapy and the help of specialists. In some situations, you can solve it on your own: for example, if the desire to harm yourself is not realized in practice or does not manifest itself very clearly.
The main thing in therapy is to determine your own emotions and find among them the feeling that acts as an impulse that provokes pain in your own body. When self-analyzing, it is important not to make mistakes. Depending on internal problems and emotional sensations, therapy methods change. It is impossible to solve a problem without identifying its root.
Chasing pain
Teenagers in Europe and the CIS began to drink less
According to statistics cited by the Spanish publication El Mundo, from 70 to 97% of people involved in self-injury are prone to “carving on the body” - legs, arms, stomach. From 21 to 44% - they fight. From 15 to 35% are burned. And, despite such a craving for self-mutilation, none of them even thinks about killing themselves with this. They would rather peel potatoes in the kitchen with a knife than cut their veins. But the risk of suicide through such actions, objectively speaking, increases.
A textbook example is a girl observed in the psychiatry department of the Sant Pau Hospital who introduced herself as Anna.
Anna “made her debut” in self-injury when she was only 14 years old. The cause was excess weight and bulimia, the fight against which resulted in anorexia and nervous breakdowns due to the ineffectiveness of treatment for these diseases. Today she is 16, and she is still not deregistered: a couple of weeks ago she cut her hands again.
When she was fat, she was constantly teased at school. Good-naturedly at first. Gradually this intensified, negative emotions began to prevail over positive ones - teasing turned into bullying. She set out to lose weight on her own after reading advice on the Internet. Among the most radical methods were recommendations for bloodletting and self-injury.
devices
Photo: Global Look Press/Jürgen Wiesler
“At home they began to hide from me all the objects that could cut oneself: knives, forks and even pencil sharpeners, which I learned to disassemble better and more professionally than a watchmaker unwinds clocks,” Anna shares her “professional” skills. “Then I learned to create sharp objects from everything that came to hand. Could have broken off a piece from the frame of the mobile phone. Or break the glasses you find. Or “accidentally” dropping a plate. If I walked past the tables set out on the street by some restaurant, I could easily pretend that I urgently needed to tie my shoelaces. She sat down near the table where there were wine glasses or glasses, and left with one of them. Sharp debris was always with me.”
Russians lack communication with their children Only one in four parents is satisfied with the amount of time they devote to their children
Methods of psychological assistance
Psychologists help determine the cause of the problem if the patient cannot do this on his own. In most cases, the latter cannot explain why they specifically harm themselves. Depth psychoanalysis helps to determine the preconditions for such behavior.
The treatment method is selected individually and may include the use of drug therapy. Taking medications is strictly controlled by a doctor. Cognitive behavioral therapy can achieve the maximum effect in the fight against self-torture. Psychotherapists advise patients to replace the habit of cutting veins or cauterizing themselves with any other actions not related to trauma. For example, you can start tearing paper.
Replacing them with your favorite activity or hobby will help you take your mind off obsessive thoughts. If harm is caused with the aim of obtaining certain emotions, then a cold shower, which intensifies the sensations, can help.
Replace sadness with pleasure
- Find any other ways to feel “alive” with all your senses. Sports, pleasant and bright smells, selfies in cool looks, and doing what you love are great help with this. Don't forget to treat yourself to something tasty. Self-harm is most often preceded by despondency. And it appears due to inaction and stagnation.
- Start your personal challenge “5 joys”: make a list of pleasures for each week in the form of a checklist in your phone and put + after completion. This will help boost endorphin levels (the hormone that makes you feel good) instead of adrenaline from the damage.
- Create a “gratitude” section in your diary or social media profile and look for what you can say thank you to to yourself, the people around you and situations. It could be a good grade, helping a friend, a good deed, a brave deed, expressed emotions, moments of self-care, kind words, family attention, a delicious dinner from mom, the sun outside the window, your or someone else’s smile, achievements. And special thanks for refraining from self-harm.
Selfharm is a serious psychological consequence of your problems due to the lack of support in solving them. To stop self-harming, you need to recognize the problem and the need for professional help. And you can receive it at any time. You can start by contacting the Children's Helpline service. Instead of a sharp object, this time take the phone in your hands and dial 8 800 2000 122. Psychologists will help you cope with mental pain without self-destruction.
photo ulan.mk.ru
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Stop drinking together and stocking up on alcohol
The drunkard gradually moves away from his family - he has more interests with his drinking buddies than with his husband, wife, and children. To overcome this emotional coldness, many people start drinking with their partner so as not to lose him completely.
This is a fatal mistake! According to statistics, more than half of alcoholics began to abuse alcohol precisely under the influence of a relative: one of the parents, husband, wife. Under no circumstances should you drink with an alcoholic - this is the path to your own alcoholism and a ruined life.
Don't be self-flagellation
Often relatives tend to blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction. Parents feel that they have given little to their child; children may think that their imperfections are the cause of their elders’ alcoholism.
Social norms also contribute to this - many in society believe that good spouses do not have husbands or wives who become drunkards. But that's not true.
The development of addiction is influenced by many factors: active gene combinations, metabolic characteristics, upbringing, environment and social attitudes. Therefore, it is not the fault of one person.
