How to get a person out of depression: how to help, how to calm down

The word “depression” has stuck in my mind lately. It is used everywhere. It denotes a prolonged bad mood and is used in jokes and memes. In fact, when true depression comes to your loved one, for some reason it becomes not funny at all, but rather sad and even scary.

You see the changes that are happening to your partner: nothing pleases or surprises him, he can lie in bed all day, he is not interested in your conversations and attempts to entertain him. And you are simply torn apart by the influx of thoughts and emotions. Are you the cause of depression? Maybe the relationship is over? How long will this last and how can I help?

Depression is a grim experience for a couple. But you can pass it successfully. In this article we will talk about how to help your partner and save your union. We touch on a sensitive topic of mental health, so you should understand that you do not need to blindly follow all the recommendations. Think about which ones and how you can use them for your couple.

How to get a girl, wife, woman out of depression?

To support your girlfriend or wife, you must follow these recommendations:

1. Talk about it. Women are more willing to admit that they are depressed. Try asking a few leading questions: “What happened?”, “When did it start?”, “How can I help you?” The conversation should reflect your position of participation and support in the girl’s problem, without any pressure on your part.
2. Look at others. After you have found out the reason, try to choose a suitable film, similar to the girl’s situation, where in the end everything is resolved successfully. Women are much more susceptible to the experiences of other people, so the resolution of the situation by the hero on the screen will be partially perceived as personal.
3. Let the girl be "weak". Ask the girl/woman about her upcoming activities and actively offer your help. Screwing in a light bulb, going to the store, cooking dinner - these are the little things that will bring a girl a feeling of care and allow her to feel like she is behind a stone wall.

You can fight a depressed state of mind with the help of shopping and friends. You need to convince your friend to start taking care of herself and taking care of her appearance.

The woman must be convinced that she needs to say goodbye to the past. A new life begins for her, which is full of many possibilities.

Ask key questions

There are several basic questions to ask a person if you want to help:

1) When did you first feel this problem?

2) What if there are things or certain actions that can increase the manifestation of a stressful situation?

3) What can help you or reduce your stress a little?

4) Is there anything I can help with? Just don't be shy.

For some reason, many are afraid to ask questions, mistakenly believing that they may be rejected. However, everyone who is depressed expects support on a subconscious level.

How to get a boyfriend, husband, man out of depression?

If your friend or husband is depressed, you should adhere to the following principles:

1. You can't feel sorry for him. It is important for a man to realize his strength even in moments of weakness. Feelings of pity destroy self-confidence, so it should not be shown.
2. Problems need to be identified. Representatives of the stronger sex often find it difficult to realize the existence of problems; they often keep them silent. A loved one should support the man and make it clear that the presence of difficulties and difficulties does not in any way affect his status in the eyes of others.
3. Do not require confirmation of depression. Pressure and the desire to impose help will push a man away; he will withdraw into himself, which can cause his condition to worsen.
4. Words of support. It is necessary to praise a person even over small things, say compliments and words of gratitude, and encourage them. It is necessary to point out strengths and support them in any endeavors.

People who are depressed should be spoken to calmly and confidently. Communication should be easy, you cannot put pressure on a person, shout at him or accuse him that he himself is to blame for his problems.

Find out more about the problem

When someone talks about their own problem, they rarely reveal all their cards.

This is not surprising, because most people are afraid of being judged, so they go to great lengths to slightly reduce the manifestation of depression.

To really help, it is necessary to establish the real reasons and understand the possible difficulties that have to be dealt with.

How to help mom and dad get out of depression?

A daughter or son who wants to help their elderly parents overcome depression should spend as much time as possible with them. It is necessary to show that dad and mom remain important people in life, that their advice and recommendations are important. You can help your mother get out of depression with the help of a psychotherapist.

Much depends on what caused the depression. If it developed under the influence of the death of a spouse, you should temporarily settle the parent with yourself or move in with him. In cases in which the disorder becomes a consequence of age-related changes, in addition to participation in life, care and support, a visit to a psychiatrist should be monitored. The doctor will prescribe a suitable medication, the use of which will speed up recovery from the painful condition.

How to Love Someone with Anxiety Disorder

You met a nice girl with whom you finally felt warm and cozy. Sensitive, attentive, for the first time in her life she put your apartment in order and, it seems, is ready to care for and cherish it, like her own mother. However, the comparison with your mother is not the most encouraging, because pretty soon she begins to control you in the same way. You can no longer hang out at the bar after work, because she won’t let you go, scared to death that someone will beat you up and rob you. However, she herself doesn’t go to parties either, because she can’t stand loud music and large companies. And at some point, an attempt to correct the mess she caused at home causes real hysterics.

This may not just be a “severe character”, but an anxiety disorder - a widespread and diverse mental disorder: from generalized anxiety disorder to panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder and various types of phobias.

Each anxious person has their own main fears: some are shaken by the company of new people, others by worry for loved ones. Constant worry exhausts and leaves little energy for useful activities, so you shouldn’t expect high energy and efficiency from them.

Some people will find fearfulness and impressionability very cute, but don’t flatter yourself too much: anxiety has another side - aggression aimed at self-defense. This side is especially pronounced in anxious men: they, as a rule, are also economical and caring, but the level of control (for your own good!) can reach despotism.

A common way to cope with anxiety is through numerous rules and rituals, which reach the point of absurdity in obsessive-compulsive disorder. This is not a whim, but a relatively effective way to cope with the situation: the performed ritual calms you down and gives you a feeling of control over what is happening. This is definitely not worth laughing at. After all, when you say a prayer to calm yourself before an important event, or sleep with a textbook under your pillow before an exam, you are doing the same thing.

What not to do if your partner has an anxiety disorder

To be left alone with problems.

Being left alone with fears is the main nightmare of the anxious. Dr. Spock's "the best way to stop a tantrum is to not react to it" doesn't work here. You, of course, will save yourself from an unpleasant sight, but the relationship is unlikely to last long after this. And if you stay nearby, embodying understanding and calm with your whole appearance, they will definitely appreciate it. Holding your hand firmly and leading you away from an unpleasant place may be enough to stop a panic attack. It is important to listen to the entire stream of consciousness and say something reassuring.

“Feed” anxiety.

If you yourself are quite anxious, you will have a very difficult time. It is important for the anxious person to believe that there is a person nearby who controls the situation better than him. And if you easily become infected with panic and begin to voice new terrible versions of what is happening, then he will lose the last ground under his feet.

Save from all adversity.

Sparing your beloved or loved one from all hardships (from nervous work to a couple of hours in an apartment alone) is also not a solution at all. Anxiety has a dangerous feature: fueled by fears, it grows, capturing new spaces. This is called “generalization”: first a person is afraid of white mice, then of the laboratories in which they live, and in the end he cannot cross the threshold of the university. Thus, the anxious person risks driving himself into a corner and finding himself in complete isolation.

What to do if your partner has an anxiety disorder

Don't escalate.

Since you are together, find out what exactly scares your partner and never abuse it.

Keep me posted.

Regularly communicate when you arrive home, what important things you are doing and why you are in a bad mood. This way you will save your and her or his nerves. After all, when an anxious person does not know what is happening, his brain draws the worst version possible. By the time you return from an unplanned meeting with a friend, a team of volunteer rescuers may already be looking for you.

Create a safe environment.

The sensitive psyche of an anxious person cannot tolerate overload. She can be “closed” even from an excess of positive impressions, for example, at a stormy holiday. Therefore, it is extremely important that the home is a quiet and cozy place where you can relax.

Support in the fight against fears.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy suggests fighting fears using the “wedge by wedge” method: accustoming yourself to frightening situations. But this needs to be done gradually and in truly safe conditions, no “throw you off the boat and let him learn to swim” (they will never forgive you for this). The support of a partner creates this feeling of security, and in general it’s great to expand the boundaries of an interesting world together: for example, climb onto a beautiful roof arm in arm with your loved one and overcome your fear of heights.

pros

Anxious people are considerate, empathetic, and responsible. They try to foresee everything and prepare for everything simply because they cannot do otherwise. They will find a way to save money for a rainy day, will always notice when something happens to you, and will take a warm jacket for you on a trip. If you value care and are not afraid of some degree of overprotection, then you will be comfortable together.

Minuses

The reasons for fear and anxiety may have nothing to do with reality, and then guardianship turns into hysteria or domestic terror. Anxious people can be rigid and controlling in their attempts to protect themselves from anything threatening. They torment loved ones with interrogations and prohibitions. It’s not for nothing that at psychology lectures they like to cite the example of Chekhov’s “Man in a Case” - a rather difficult character.

Pathological jealous people are also often anxious people.

And if you even accidentally put your loved one in a situation that is unbearable for her, for example, you get stuck in an elevator on the 20th floor because she is afraid of heights, you may be physically harmed by heels and nails.

Universal tips

There are also a number of universal tips regardless of gender and age:

1. Take a position. Even if a person is wrong, he should be supported, sympathized with and shared views regarding the event that led to depressive disorder. This arrangement will create a relationship of trust, which will allow you to talk out and cry.
2. To be nearby. You should be ready to help at any moment, even if the time is not right for you. If it is impossible to be physically nearby, you need to encourage and listen from a distance, for example, through correspondence. A person should not be left alone with his thoughts, because this can lead to unpredictable consequences.
3. You can't criticize. Any criticism will aggravate the condition, increase feelings of guilt and uncertainty. Even if critical comments are objective, they should be refrained from. The most effective form of communication will be dialogue with leading questions.
4. Let there be light! The positive effects of natural and artificial lighting on depressed people have been scientifically proven. Make sure you wake up early, close curtains or blinds during the day, and get as much vitamin D from the sun as possible. Daylight alone is not enough; conventional lamps are more effective in phototherapy treatment. Make sure that the person is exposed to bright electric light for at least 20 minutes a day (and up to 1 hour), and within a week he will feel an improvement.
5. The body is in action. A relaxing massage is a very effective remedy, especially when combined with massage oil and pleasant music. Particular attention should be paid to the cervical-collar region and the lumbar region.
6. A little movement. During depression, large amounts of stress hormones, in particular cortisol, are released into the blood. During physical activity, the stress hormone is utilized. Of course, this does not mean that it is necessary to drag a person to the gym, but long walks along the street in warm weather, or in a shopping center in cold weather, will definitely lift your spirits.

How to keep a depressed person active?

Lack of activity and interest in life is both a symptom of depression and a reason that can aggravate it.

Even in a situation of deep depression, when a person lies and looks at one point, try to help him be minimally active: practice breathing exercises with him (breathe yourself, and the person will unconsciously adjust to your rhythm), rub his arms and legs, give a light massage or stroking. The patient, who shared her experience of how she was able to help her daughter get out of deep depression after the loss of a child, said that on the first day she sat next to her and did breathing exercises to the accompaniment of meditative music. At some point, the daughter began to breathe deeper, and then was able to fall asleep.

For milder manifestations of depression, it is necessary to involve your loved one in feasible physical education and sports. You can invite him to take a walk with you, go to the pool, go out of the city into nature, or keep company when visiting the bathhouse.

Try to revive a spark of interest in a person by reminding them of their favorite activities. Bring (and maybe even read out loud) a new book that he likes to read. Invite him to a movie or an exhibition. Tell the news from the area that fascinated him before, ask for his professional advice, ask his opinion about the incident. A person's passions are the fuel for his thirst for life, rebirth and healing.

There is a known case where a husband, in order to get his wife out of depression, bought any kind of seeds (she was a passionate gardener). His wife couldn't help but look at the seeds, then criticized his choice. And the next day I was already planting seedlings.

You can try to engage a depressed person in some new activity or hobby.

How to get a person out of depression?

The task of a loved one, first of all, is to have a good understanding of what caused the depressive state.

Why does a person feel bad?

The reasons why depressive disorder may develop vary. Experts highlight the following:

1. Death of a loved one. An unexpected loss leads to a long-term depressed state. It takes time to come to terms with the thought of the death of a loved one.
2. Abortion. Termination of pregnancy leads to both psychological and physiological consequences. The operation can cause hormonal imbalance, which will lead to the development of depressive disorder.
3. Problems in your personal life. Often a person suffers from a breakup with a partner, his betrayal or misunderstanding. The most serious condition is for people who are abandoned. Their self-esteem is at a critically low level.
4. Creative crisis. If a person cannot realize his potential, does not feel needed, and does not have professional achievements, he may find himself in a serious crisis.
5. Overwork. Stress, anxiety, and constant worries lead to exhaustion of the nervous system, emotional burnout, which provokes depression.
6. Pressure from outside. The psychological state can worsen in cases where a person is in a toxic relationship that makes him feel weak, stupid, angry, etc. Some people are capable of suppressing those around them, which is why the latter often find themselves in a depressed state.
7. Manipulation. Sometimes symptoms of depression are used to gain attention. Such tricks may be conscious or unconscious. Therefore, it is important to understand whether a person is suffering from an illness or wants to receive more attention and care from others.

Instill confidence, understanding and empathy

When a person is depressed, a person's self-esteem is low, so it is important to raise it in various ways. Understanding, sympathy and participation in the problem on the part of loved ones will strengthen self-confidence and allow you to find emotional balance. However, you cannot feel sorry for a person, this will only worsen the mental state.

Focus your loved one on the positive

A depressed person should avoid any negative thoughts and events. It is necessary to get as many positive impressions as possible, focus on successes, do what brings pleasure, and not engage in routine, monotonous things. It is important to strengthen the belief that the future will bring joyful changes, and with them will come happiness and love.

Be an ally and participant in events

When you take on the task of helping a friend or partner get out of depression, you should not remain an outside observer or only an adviser. It is necessary to take an active part in a person’s life: go somewhere with him, be nearby, help in the implementation of plans, etc.

Do not react to aggression and negativity from a depressed person

A common symptom of depression is sudden mood swings, which can be accompanied by attacks of anger and aggression. You need to be prepared for such behavior: do not be offended and understand that these are natural reactions that appear in a person with such a disease.

Taking conversations about suicide seriously

Thoughts of suicide are one of the common signs of depression. Regardless of how regularly and in what form a person talks about suicide, you should definitely pay attention to this. Attempts to die can be made at any moment, so you should try to constantly monitor the mood of such people.

Understand, accept and do not devalue

Do not under any circumstances blame a person for his condition and do not persuade him to pull himself together. This will not help, but will only worsen his condition. After each such remark, the patient feels that he is not understood and not accepted, and at this moment he so needs your support. He may begin to close himself off from you, withdraw into himself and plunge into even greater loneliness. The biggest problem for people with mental illness is that those around them do not understand or accept their condition. When a person gets sick and his loved ones do not support him, this drives him into even greater loneliness and hopelessness.

A person may become depressed due to some negative event in his life, such as failure at work or in a personal relationship. In a state of depression, he begins to perceive even neutral events as unsuccessful, and your task is to help him not concentrate on this. Explain that it is completely normal if in his current state something does not work out for him, because he is not in the mood and he is sick. But next time, when he has more motivation and strength, he will definitely do the same.

Depression is not justified and will not go away on its own.

Depression is an illness that needs to be treated comprehensively. In most cases, this disorder requires medication that can only be prescribed by a specialist. The course should be accompanied by correctional work with a psychotherapist and participation from loved ones.

You should not expect this disease to go away on its own. If there is no treatment, it becomes chronic, which is accompanied by phases of exacerbation.

Any excuses about heredity, life circumstances, etc. must be left aside. It is necessary to talk with the person and support him morally and in action.

How to Love Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Like depression, this disorder is more common in women. But don’t forget that a quarter of all “border guards” are men. Finding yourself in a relationship with a “border guard” or “border guard” is as easy as shelling pears: these are emotional, sociable guys who literally cannot live without love. But they quickly become disappointed (or disappointed), and therefore periodically remain in active search. The essence of their relationship style is perfectly described in the book “I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me”: a constant storm of emotions and contrasts.

Today you were a princess and a dream come true for him - and a week later he calls you an arrogant egoist. In the morning she sings in the bathroom, and in the evening she complains that she has been unhappy all her life and is not understood by anyone. The peculiarity of border guards is the comprehensive predominance of feelings over reason. At the most physical level: their amygdala, the part of the brain that is responsible for emotions, mainly negative ones, is overactive. Their thinking is colored in black and white, at every single moment everything is either perfect or too bad.

Borderlines have difficulty understanding who they really are and what they want from life and from you: this is called identity disorder. It is very painful. Often border guards cause physical harm to themselves just to numb their mental pain.

To maintain balance, the border guard needs to “attach” to a more stable person and look at himself through his eyes. No partner will be able to fully compensate for the deficit that has been going on since childhood, and therefore the relationship will not be easy. But this does not mean that they are doomed to failure. Provided there is sufficient awareness on both sides, there is a chance to learn how to smooth out rough edges.

What not to do if your partner has BPD

Ignore.

Being hysterical from a border guard is not only pointless, but also dangerous. If you leave, slamming the door, it will be perceived as “gone forever, no one needs me, why live.” It can even go as far as suicide threats, which will seem like banal blackmail to you. This may be true, but always remember that most border guards have actually attempted suicide. Some of them risk becoming the last. Emotions are so strong and unstable that they drown out the voice of reason completely. Accusations made in hysterics cannot be taken seriously. When the storm subsides, the border guard will most likely completely forget what he said.

Provoke.

The psyche of a border guard is easily excitable and unstable, and therefore they easily succumb to provocations. If you push your opinion or argue aggressively, then a banal finding out who is going to the store will turn into an analysis of your relationship from the first day you met. With a stream of abuse and the most sophisticated accusations.

What to do if your partner has BPD

Acknowledge the reality of his feelings.

No matter how absurd the drama unfolding out of the blue may seem, for the border guard all the experiences are absolutely real. At this moment he feels rejected, lonely, practically non-existent. Just admit it - the borderline rarely finds understanding for his feelings, which are always “too much” for others, and will be grateful. You can also simply distract yourself from intense experiences: not always, but your favorite movie or good sex will save you.

Connect your mind.

In psychotherapy, the main methods of helping people with BPD are teaching techniques to control emotions and training logical thinking. You can also help your partner with this by calmly (without moralizing!) talking through and explaining conflict situations.

A reality check helps a lot: using specific examples, explain that there are no real reasons for his fear (for example, of being left alone and in poverty for the rest of his days). It is important to remind that bad moments will pass, and life will move on.

pros

Many people with BPD are bright, strongly feeling, and creative. They are easily carried away by both people and activities, they love the new and unusual. With them you definitely won’t get bored from the lack of emotions and events in your life together.

Minuses

They are manipulators. Since childhood, border guards have become accustomed to the idea that they must fight for care and attention by any means necessary. And if you don’t give them enough of this (and it’s impossible to give them, because too much is required), heavy artillery can be used against you, and before you know it, you will find yourself guilty of all the ills of the universe. Stalkers who pursue those who have rejected their love are also often people with BPD. Their self-esteem is so strongly tied to their chosen one or chosen one that they are unable to let it go.

Is it possible to help a person at home?

You can save a loved one from depression faster if you help him at home.

Men should change their surroundings and go on vacation. Occupational therapy is one of the effective ways to restore mental health. Representatives of the stronger sex can try themselves in extreme activities, for example, skydiving or bungee jumping.

Women prefer to engage in some types of needlework. This will not only bring emotional peace, but will also improve self-esteem.

Accumulated negativity can be released through art therapy. Any new hobbies will be useful.

To find meaning in life after depression, you need to look at familiar phenomena from a different angle. Charity can help with this. This does not mean that you need to donate a lot of money. Help can be provided in different forms. For example, you can organize a collection of things, take food or medicine to the sick, walk dogs at a shelter, communicate with orphans, etc.

You need to distract yourself with other events, so you should attend as many exhibitions, concerts, sporting events, etc. as possible, communicate with people, make new acquaintances, find hobbies. Depressed people need to change their lifestyle. You need to adjust your diet by adding more healthy foods and giving up alcohol and tobacco. Any physical activity, from walking to swimming, will have a beneficial effect on the body.

You should carefully monitor your mood.

If a person experiencing a depressive disorder experiences a greater decline in depression, measures must be taken to improve it. Every day should be filled with some pleasant events.

If you can’t change your surroundings, you should watch an uplifting film, read a book or listen to inspiring music.

You cannot be alone, so you should renew old acquaintances and maintain relationships with relatives and friends. In case of exacerbation, it is necessary to contact someone who will listen and provide help.

If a person wants to get out of a depressed state, he should use gadgets as little as possible, spend time on social networks, preferring live communication to virtual communication.

We should not forget that people who are depressed especially need proper rest. They should adhere to a daily routine, sleeping at least 8 hours a day. If necessary, take an afternoon rest.

Only sincere participation can help a person get out of depression. If caring for a friend, loved one or parent is a burden for you, you should first understand yourself and only then help others.

How to Love Someone with Bipolar Disorder

It is impossible not to pay attention to this self-confident charismatic. He pursued you with all his passion, and he managed to impress you not only with his lively wit, but also with a surprise trip to Africa on safari. Imagine your surprise when, after just a year of marriage, your partner turned into a weak-willed inhabitant of the sofa. He watches helplessly as you, in splendid isolation, complete the creative renovation he started, and only occasionally makes comments about how maybe it shouldn’t have been done. And in general to come together.

The entire life of a person with bipolar disorder (and this applies to both men and women) is a seesaw, a rollercoaster of dizzying highs and painful lows. Each slide has its own degree of steepness: for some, the contrasts are not so strong, and they retain a normal human appearance almost all the time. Others are first taken out of touch with reality (mania with psychosis), and then thrown into the abyss (severe depression).

What not to do if your partner has bipolar disorder

Expect consistency.

He won't be there. If you dream of “taming and domesticating” a bipolar person, you are in vain. Even the most conscious and well-treated person needs a certain amount of adventurism. This is a person doomed to constant search: for himself, for a place in life. You shouldn’t expect him to patiently climb the career ladder in a big company for 10 years and complete all the things he started. But you have a chance to become the main constant in his or her life (such people actually really need something constant).

Argue.

When a person is in mania, it is useless to argue with him. At this moment you are a mere mortal, unable to appreciate the genius of his ideas. And if there are signs of psychosis, any conversations are pointless. Only potent drugs will help.

Support the madness.

The opposite tactic is also very dangerous: encouraging and supporting madness. Traveling all over India by bike? A business selling walrus tusk souvenirs? In mania, a bipolar person is ready to rush to carry out any crazy idea, and you may even like it at first. But if you are healthy, this will be a great adventure for you, and for him it will be a trigger that can trigger a real attack of psychosis. Or suicidal depression.

What to do if your partner has bipolar disorder

Look for balance, establish a routine.

The golden mean probably sounds boring, but you have to stick to it in everything. Most likely, it is you, as a more balanced person, who will have to establish and maintain an adequate routine for living together: eat normal food on time (and not cake with champagne), go to bed on time, alternate work and rest, and if things get worse, take mood stabilizers. Your partner's health depends on this routine: the more stable his daily life is, the fewer attacks he will have.

Channel your energy.

It is useless to prohibit inventing adventures, but you can take on the role of an expert who rationally assesses the prospects of new ideas.

It can be occupied, for example, by drawing up a detailed business plan and collecting information. If a person is still inadequate, he will spend his energy on diagrams and sketches and calm down a little. And if he remains critical, maybe he will come up with something truly brilliant.

Keep track of your finances.

In mania, a bipolar person can easily waste the entire family budget on cute trinkets. Psychologists strictly advise that during an attack (which is usually only a few weeks) you confiscate your partner’s documents and bank cards and even block the Internet.

pros

Perhaps the most “creative” diagnosis. A wide range of emotions and wild imagination help such people become inventors, entrepreneurs, and actors (if they have talent, of course). On the rise, this is a holiday person and the soul of the company, who will pick you up in his arms and carry you towards adventure.

Minuses

The climb never lasts long. The main problem of living with a bipolar person is instability: he either works around the clock, or doesn’t work at all, then comes up with a dozen things to do, then abandons them, leaving you to deal with the consequences.

People with bipolar disorder can be not only creators, but also swindlers and graphomaniacs, as well as pathological liars and incorrigible cheaters.

A manic person changes lovers as easily as he changes all his other hobbies. Those who have known each other for six months and couples with 10 years of experience and three children are not immune from this. The craving for novelty and adventure does not always lead them to good things.

What to do if someone else's depression drags you down?

If, while helping a loved one, you discover that you also have signs of depression, you should carefully analyze the cause of their occurrence. If you are depressed by the futility of trying to pull a person out of a pathological syndrome, you should understand that you are doing everything possible, but the main work lies on the shoulders of the one who suffers from depression. It is impossible to take it upon yourself.

In cases where a depressed state has arisen due to unclear reasons, it is necessary to consult a psychotherapist. You should not break contact with the person you wanted to help, since you may be his only support. However, at the first, even weak, signs of the disease, it is necessary to urgently take measures to treat it.

Specialized assistance for people with depression

Psychotherapists, clinical psychologists, and psychiatrists can provide qualified assistance to a person with depression. If for any reason you do not want to go to the hospital, there are private practitioners individually or in psychological support groups.

There are two main approaches to treating depression: medication and psychotherapy. Most practitioners agree that the best results are achieved by a combination of these approaches. For mild depression, psychotherapy alone is often sufficient. But it is better to entrust the choice of treatment approach to a specialist.

Drug therapy

There is a whole group of new generation antidepressants that can relieve depression. Antidepressants regulate the action of neurotransmitters, as a result of which a person’s mood improves, energy appears, sleep is normalized, tone and ability to be active increase. Antidepressants relieve symptoms, and a person has the strength to overcome depression. In some cases (for example, with bipolar disorder), these drugs can be taken for preventive purposes.

It is important to remember that antidepressants must be selected individually and taken strictly as prescribed by the doctor! Self-medication is a threat to human health!

A doctor can prescribe anxiolytic drugs to a depressed person, which have a sedative, relaxing effect, and reduce the manifestations of fear, anxiety, and tension.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

This is one of the most effective areas of psychological work for depression. Such therapy takes place in the form of individual meetings with a psychotherapist, who in dialogue will address the rational and healthy part of the personality, ask the person questions that help him look differently at his life situation, and challenge the negative attitudes that led the person to depression. With the support of a psychotherapist, a person will develop and apply new, effective patterns of behavior and interaction with others.

Interpersonal therapy

A person may become depressed due to problems in relationships with other people, intrapersonal and interpersonal conflict.

In this case, the specialist builds work with the patient on the basis of interpersonal therapy, teaching him the “view of an outside observer” and the ability to take the position of a communication partner. This can happen in the format of family therapy. Spouses or partners, with the support of a psychotherapist, will master the skills of dialogue and environmentally friendly expression of their desires and needs.

Psychodynamic therapy

This method of psychological work with a depressed person is based on the principles of psychoanalysis. The specialist turns to the experience of the past, helping the patient to identify the reasons due to which his destructive attitudes, unhealthy habits, and ineffective patterns of behavior were formed. Emergency (1-2 sessions) or short-term psychodynamic therapy significantly improves a person’s quality of life.

In the future, this method can be used to prevent episodes of depression.

It is important to understand that the worst thing that can happen to a person who is depressed is loneliness! Left alone, we may not be able to withstand the burden of the symptoms that have fallen on us. The help of loved ones, relatives, spouses, specialists who know how to pull a person out of depression is priceless. Be attentive to the psychological state of your loved ones, support them in difficult times - and you will open the way for them to get out of the most severe depressive impasse!

Why is depression dangerous?

A depressive episode snowballs. In severe cases, a person becomes worse day by day, up to the loss of the instinct of self-preservation. Persistent moral discomfort, melancholy, and mental anguish make you think about suicide.

Suicide cases are most common among lonely people with somatic disorders. The chances of such an outcome increase if there have been cases of suicide among relatives in the person’s family. It is believed that such patients have a genetic predisposition to such an error.

Remember: if you leave everything as it is and do not treat prolonged depression, the disease will become chronic with unforeseen consequences.

How to recognize symptoms of depression

Those close to you are the first to notice deviations in behavior. It would be a mistake to assume that a bad mood is normal for a person who has learned about a terrible diagnosis. But psychologists give only a few weeks for the patient to independently accept his condition. In all other cases, you will need the help of a professional.

The following signs should alert you:

• loss of interest in work, sex, hobbies, and withdrawal from friends and family;
• negative views on life, short temper, whims, excessive criticism in response to any suggestions;
• frequent complaints of headache, indigestion, unexplained fatigue and lack of appetite;
• sleep problems;
• abuse of sleeping pills and painkillers.

Depression is a serious disorder that is included in the international classification of diseases. Do not underestimate the seriousness of the disease. Depression exhausts a person and makes it difficult to concentrate on the recovery process.

Often a person cannot get rid of a disorder through willpower alone. You need to come to terms with the fact that you cannot “cure” someone else’s depression with persuasion.

First of all, you need to tell yourself that you are not to blame for your loved one’s illness and are not responsible for his mood. But no one forbids expressing their love and support.

Diseases are common causes of depression

In fact, any health problems spoil your mood. But news of a serious or incurable illness can undermine self-confidence and deprive one of hope for the future.

In some cases, taking certain medications can lead to the development of depression. Relatives and friends should prepare in advance for complications.

Signs of a depressive disorder are diagnosed in approximately 30% of chronic patients.

Mental illness can increase pain, cause increased fatigue, and general lethargy.

The list of diseases that are most often complicated by depression:

• cancer (risk of developing depressive disorder about 65%);
• Parkinson's disease: 40%;
• multiple sclerosis: 35%;
• stroke: 27%;
• heart attack: 25%.

It is very important that there is always a professional next to the patient, ready to provide moral support. After all, depression often occurs in people left alone with their problems. If it is not possible to be with you around the clock, it is worth hiring a nurse or companion who will provide psychological support.

Rule two: focus on the positive

A person who is overcome by depression tends not to notice his successes, focusing on failures. It seems to him that everything he did in this life was wrong, at the wrong time, and it would be better if he did nothing at all. In moments of depression, people lose trust in the world around them and faith in themselves. But the vicious circle is that without confidence that you have the strength to overcome depression, it is very difficult to cope with it. Therefore, since a person cannot fight for himself, you must help him. Remember that he once did something right and good. Remind me of the story of how he won a corporate darts tournament, or how he defended his secretary from the attacks of an unfair boss. Tell us how proud you were of him when you found out that he was the first in his family to graduate from college. There are victories - even small ones - in the history of each of us. Your task is to discover them and show them to your friend. If you absolutely cannot remember a single story that would inspire confidence in your strength, you can simply say: “I know that you are great.” These words will give a person hope that someday he will be able to meet your expectations, become what you see him, and maybe even better. Don't expect your depression to go away as soon as you say these words. You may need to repeat them over several days. The main thing is that you yourself must believe in what you say.

It is impossible to force someone to get professional help.

No matter how much one would like to force a patient with depression to see a psychologist, doing something against the person’s will is prohibited. Until the patient himself decides to undergo treatment, no specialist will be able to help.

Awareness of the problem and a sincere desire to get rid of the manifestations of depression is the first step towards recovery.

A depressed person truly believes that his situation is hopeless and treatment is pointless. The main task of relatives is to show that the problem can be solved. Some people resort to tricks and invite a psychologist home in the form of a “distant acquaintance.”

You may also be offered a general screening at the hospital. Among the specialists who conduct the examination may be a psychotherapist. During the general examination, possible causes of depression associated with taking certain groups of medications will also be excluded.

Sometimes people who hear an official diagnosis of “depressive disorder” agree to treatment more quickly. After all, the doctor’s opinion is more significant than the guesses of relatives and friends.

You can also accompany a loved one to their first appointment with a psychotherapist. Feeling supported is extremely important. Although some people, on the contrary, prefer to communicate with specialists secretly from others.