These are those who live with mattresses. Next to them are rag-tag men who have shifted all responsibility onto their wives and relaxed. And wives have no choice but to suddenly stop being weak and grow eggs, which are necessary for any relationship. This is how strong women are born. This is how their idea of a normal family is distorted.
Don't let something like that happen to you. And don't let this happen to your girlfriend. You must be a leader. You must be in charge! Not her, not together, but only you! Understood?
And it's not that simple. It's not enough to pound your fist on the table and shout what you've decided. An authoritative leader does not order, but convinces people using ironclad arguments. The woman herself will be happy to follow you and your decision if it is balanced, competent, logical and firm.
This is what will give you all the rights to be the main one in the relationship. So, let's go!
Be confident.
Show your leadership, and for this you need to upgrade yourself. Yes, what did you think? What separates a man from a dick-bearer is his strong position.
Insecure, downtrodden and wrapped in complexes, you will not impress anyone. Only a strong man can take on the role of chief and leader in the family and in life.
Don't allow yourself to be treated with disrespect. Stop everything you don't like. Don't become a laborer.
At the same time, show yourself as a provider, a hunter, a protector for her. Convince her that you are a man and that she will be safe with you in any matter. This position will be visible in your actions, self-presentation, and gaze. This will help you achieve a lot in other areas of your life.
How to respond to rudeness with dignity and grace - 10 methods
Calm Method
When confronted with potential offenders, you should never show them your confusion. Express your thoughts clearly and firmly, and do not utter any words in your own justification or defense. The intonation of the voice should be as calm and relaxed as possible, since this is what will most quickly unsettle the boor. With his attacks, he wants to piss off his victim in order to be recharged with a portion of negative energy. There is no need to give a rude person such joy.
For example, in response to the angry words of an irritated conductor about her lack of change for a large bill, you need to calmly ask her again so that she repeats her speech, and then politely but persistently ask her to solve this problem.
Method "Psychological Aikido"
The use of this protective technique is based on the use of the negative energy of a brute against himself. The opponent must agree with critical remarks addressed to him, confusing and bringing mutual communication to the point of absurdity. You can even praise your opponent for timely and useful criticism. Mastering the method requires some practice and breaking existing behavioral patterns.
As an illustrative example, the following dialogue can be given:
Rude: “Where are you going!” Don't you have eyes?! Don’t you see, there’s a queue here!” Opponent: “But I really don’t have eyes, but you are so attentive, you immediately noticed it and pointed out my mistake.” Rude: “We’re all standing, but why are you pushing forward?!” Opponent: “Well, yes, everyone is standing, and I’m climbing, the smartest one has been found here” ... and further in this style.
As a rule, two or three mutual skirmishes are enough to psychologically disorient the enemy. In addition, the people around you can seriously help you, appreciating the absurdity and comicality of the situation. Ham will have to retreat in his intentions, and he is unlikely to continue.
Method "Humor"
Intending to say something bad, a person tenses up and tries to draw air into his respiratory tract. If you try to make him laugh at this time, he will relax and the first outburst of anger will pass. You can also smile and compliment your opponent.
For example, a secretary, entering the director's office, accidentally trips and falls, knocking over cups from a tray. Looking at the chief's angry face, the woman tells him that he is simply stunning, hinting at the reason for the fall. Such a joke causes laughter among those present and a smile from the director, instead of the expected reprimand.
Method "Statement"
In some situations, you can pacify a boor by simply calling him in public for who he really is. In particular, you can say directly: “You are a rude person,” or you can navigate the situation and use your own imagination and fantasy.
For example, you can complain about rudeness addressed in response to your forgetfulness that, unfortunately, pills for rudeness have not yet been invented.
"Sneeze" method
It is an effective response when a boorish monologue threatens to drag on for a long time. If your opponent is getting more and more angry and cannot stop, you need to help him with this. For the time being, listen in silence until the boor imagines himself to be the complete master of the situation. Then sneeze deliberately loudly, and in a moment of calm, say that you have an allergic reaction to various nonsense. Next, politely ask your opponent to continue his speech.
In response to offensive remarks, you can use the following phrases:
"This is all?" "So what?" “Did you by any chance make a mistake?” “Believe me, rudeness does not suit you at all” “Why are you trying to look worse than you really are” “I don’t have time to understand your complexes”, etc.
Another reason for rudeness is people who simply cannot live without it. They consciously chose a similar style of communication with others and feel quite comfortable with it. In response to such behavior patterns, the following techniques will be effective.
Method "Persistent politeness and boundless patience"
The main rule when dealing with a chronic rude person is absolute politeness and tolerance. The main thing is not to lash out in response to boorish antics and not to succumb to provocations, becoming only a follower. We must remember that the main goal of a boor is to provoke a response in his opponent, whereas, without receiving it, he loses the fuel for further actions. A smile and outward goodwill are so unusual for him that they can completely unsettle him.
Such a scenario is completely atypical for a person accustomed to being treated rudely, so a polite opponent has the opportunity to take the situation into his own hands. If the enemy has a serious fixation on the negative, you can also try to communicate politely, but pronounce the words louder than usual. Such an unconventional trick can silence him.
The behavior of the parties can be illustrated using the following example:
Saleswoman: “Woman, how long will you be looking at everything here?! Are you buying or not? Buyer: “Please, show me that blouse over there.” Saleswoman: “As much as possible! Am I here, an errand girl?!” Buyer (politely, but much louder): “Please show me that blouse.”
The Boring Method
It will come in handy for people working as administrators in various Internet projects. It's no secret that some users chronically neglect the established rules, and then bring down all their inadequacy on the administrators. When a person has no reasonable arguments, outright rudeness begins.
Of course, you can simply ban an obstinate user, or you can make a “dry” remark in official language. Soon the belligerent enemy's interest will cool and he will stop letting off steam. In practice, such communication might look like this:
Forum participant: “For what reason did I get banned?! What kind of arbitrariness is this! Do whatever comes into your head!” Forum administrator: “You violated rule No. 2 of the internal regulations, from such and such a date. According to paragraph 3 of this rule, you are entitled to a ban for the next three weeks.” Forum participant: “I didn’t have any violations, these are all your inventions. My photos are the coolest, but you don’t understand anything about it!” Forum administrator: “For offensive statements addressed to the administration, the ban period will be extended for another 10 days.”
Shocking method
To break the stereotypical behavior of a boor, you can try to break his usual pattern by shocking him. To do this, in response to a rude remark, you need to answer something completely irrelevant, thereby confusing the enemy. For example, in response to the seller’s rudeness, you can ask what the score was at yesterday’s football match.
In addition to the methods described above, for a decent response to rude people, you can prepare the following phrases:
“It’s a pity, but you are far from original” “Well, it all started so well” “For some reason I didn’t want to continue our further communication” “It’s a pity that I didn’t hear anything original from you” “Not too witty, but there is something what to strive for” “Assessed the depth of your thinking abilities”, etc.
Another reason for rudeness is the offender’s fear of his opponent. In this situation, he strives to attack first, masking his insecurity, cowardice and envy in front of more successful people. Rudeness, in this case, serves only as a kind of disguise and cover.
Method “Taking care of the hedgehog”
Mentally imagine a hedgehog that has prickly spines, but at the same time is just a small, frightened animal. Make an association with your offender, taking a condescending and patronizing position towards him. In addition, the above-described “Calmness” and “Psychological Aikido” methods are well suited in this situation. Additional phrases you can use include:
“You will definitely succeed” “What else is on your mind?” “Do you want to offend me? What for?" “Rudeness suits no one, least of all you.” “Thank you for your close attention to my person,” etc.
Method "Ignore"
This method of psychological defense is universal for all causes of external aggression. Sometimes silence really is golden. This especially applies to those situations when you have no need to communicate with the offender, or you feel that you are not emotionally ready to fight with him, as well as in cases where there is a clearly mentally unhealthy person in front of you.
Ignoring is very effective against any type of rudeness, if done correctly. In particular, you don’t need to show any emotions so that the offender doesn’t suddenly think that you are silently swallowing the insult, and he will become more and more angry. Everything should look as if there was an empty space in front of you, and you, such a successful and lucky person, have absolutely no time to pay attention to all sorts of annoying obstacles and little things.
Read further: 65 phrases to respond to rudeness
Download and print the file below to help you remember these 10 ways to respond to rudeness.
Article rating
Be self sufficient.
What it is? This means not depending on anyone. Not with anything.
Be able to earn your own living, rent, utilities, vacation. Be able to wash, iron, and buy everything you need for life yourself. Learn to cook some basic dishes.
You must not depend on anyone. Especially from a woman. Everything she does, you should be able to do yourself. This way you don't need any help. You are able to live peacefully without her or anyone else.
Saying no
The inability to give direct and honest refusals reveals weakness of character in people, users of The Question are sure. It is important to learn to save your time and set personal boundaries. “The ability to decisively say “no” to unimportant things will give you the strength to say “yes” to something important,” says Dmitry Sergeev. “It is very important to focus on one thing, discarding all external factors. They just destroy you. Give them up in favor of truly important things,” advises Elizabeth Lutes.
Make decisions.
You make all the decisions. Yes, yes, everything that concerns you and you.
You can consult with her, that's good and normal. But in the end you have to do it your way. It's always up to you to decide. And be responsible for the consequences too.
This is a strong male position, any young lady will feel and appreciate it.
If the decision entails something unpleasant, you will answer. You will have to fix everything quickly and take responsibility for what is happening now. If you calmly and steadfastly withstand such moments, and not shout that this girl gave you nasty advice, you will quickly take a leading position.
If the decision brings positive results, you will only earn the woman's respect and trust. She will be proud that next to her is a man who solved and resolved the problems that arose. In the future, she will become even more obedient and flexible from this feeling.
Read books
Users recommend reading books of completely different genres. Autobiographies - to glean the experience of great people, strong in spirit. Fiction - to develop imagination and play out difficult situations that may ever happen to you. And books on self-development - to get motivation and learn useful psychological techniques.
Dmitry Sergeev proposed a list of three main works, in his opinion: Robin Sharma “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”, Dale Carnegie “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” and Stephen Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
Start with the little things.
Even things like what movie to watch, what wine to choose and what to cook play a role.
This is all important, because by giving the initiative to her, you gradually lose your masculinity in her eyes. Each time she will be more courageous in taking the initiative. One day this will transfer to global decisions, which means she is already playing the role of a man among the two of you. This means that she is already in charge and she is already a leader.
Moreover, if you agree to her proposals that you don’t like, your dissatisfaction will be visible in your behavior. The discomfort of not doing what you wanted will take its toll. And she will soon stop being interested in you.
And in general, do you really think that the main person in the relationship will ask the young lady what movie you will go to? Seriously?
How to react?
Everyone here has their own boundaries and methods too. You can nobly turn the other cheek and accept all reproaches stoically. In the end, BDSM culture is not alien to many citizens of our country, there is nothing to be ashamed of. But you can also remember everything that the streets have taught you and get involved in a verbal altercation. However, you can’t even imagine how bad it looks from the outside. A real market scandal begins, but the reason is most often completely insignificant. And not everyone is able to compete on par with the bickering geniuses who live for it and every day hone their skills in oratorical duels on public transport and at counters.
There is also an opinion that politeness is the best weapon of a thief. This also applies to your situation (no, you don’t have to steal anything first). Some people are simply not ready that during a conflict I will communicate with them as at a social reception: by no means, if you please, my regrets are not exactly these words, but communication in a similar vein will at least reduce the degree of misunderstanding.
If you are afraid of public speaking, some people advise imagining that everyone in the room is undressed. For God's sake, don't do this when talking to a conflicted person. There is advice that in such situations you can imagine your opponent as a child - the same as he was 20-30 years ago. And now in front of you stands just a capricious, self-centered kid who was offended at school; his parents forbid him to connect the set-top box to the TV. I don’t want to argue with someone like that anymore—I want to regret it. So take pity on him and your nerves.
Dispose of her checks and manipulations.
Why do women do this? Two options.
Good - she tests you for weakness. She does this not to subjugate you, but to make sure that her choice is correct. From time to time, all young ladies do something similar to calm down. If you don't demonstrate your masculinity often enough, she will sometimes check whether the man next to her is strong or if you have relaxed.
Option two - she is manipulating you. Perhaps she is used to acting this way around other men. Or she tested you for weakness, you failed the test, and this option suits her. Such women are accustomed to leading a man; I wrote about this in detail in my article about henpecked men.
And remember that a wise woman will act as the “neck” while you are the “head.” She will obey you in small things and lead you when making important decisions. Don't get caught, she might try to fool you with tricks.
What do we have to do? Show your inner core and prove to her that you are a man.
Reasons for rude behavior
One of the most common reasons for rude attacks on a person is his underdeveloped psychological strength. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and self-confident individuals. Boors and rude people have a fairly well-developed instinct and will never get involved with someone who can give them a worthy answer.
If in front of them is a person from a different category, then why not amuse yourself and say something rude to him. Most often, the following types of people are among the offended:
- highly cultured and brought up in old traditions;
- having low self-esteem;
- trying to avoid conflict situations;
- with a high sense of guilt;
- fearful of hurting and offending other people.
In this situation, the reaction to rudeness may be different, but first you should work on your own self-esteem and confidence so as not to be a constant victim of poorly behaved citizens. Finding inner strength will forever get rid of outside aggression, because a strong person cannot be an object of attack.
Read further: 65 phrases to respond to rudeness
Be purposeful.
An important quality of a confident man. It will help you in any area, including in relationships.
Set goals and go towards them, strive and achieve. Don't stop, even if you don't succeed several times in a row. This is the only way to achieve success.
A girl shouldn't feel uncertain around you. If we are talking about relationships, she must clearly understand where everything is going. Make plans, talk to her about the future, this will give her a feeling of peace.
Otherwise, she herself will start trying to set goals while you are lying on the couch. It is important for her to understand what is happening and what will happen next. So she will try to solve it. And take on male responsibilities. For you, this is a direct path to rags.
Strong human character: what is it?
Before you try to become a strong person, look at what qualities are inherent in a strong character.
Strength of will
Usually this quality manifests itself in moments when it is necessary to overcome oneself. Examples: quit smoking, don't call your ex-partner, switch to proper nutrition, finish training. A person who has managed to become strong in spirit can more easily cope with desires that lead to problems.
Responsibility
One of the key qualities in the character of a person striving to become a strong personality. Without a sense of responsibility, harmonious families cannot be created, long-term career success, strong friendships and long-term partnerships are impossible.
Organization
Not everyone is able to organize their day and follow the prescribed plan. Distractions include children, TV series, chatting with friends, watching the news feed on the Internet and other moments. If you want to become a strong personality, develop organization in yourself. Plan the coming day or week, set aside time to resolve force majeure, immediately designate a “window” for rest, and strictly follow the plan. Subsequently, recordings will not be needed: you will get used to the established daily routine.
Communication skills
The ability to build a dialogue with any person is a good impetus for development, allowing you to make useful contacts, resolve conflict situations, and find ways to resolve problems.
The combination of the mentioned qualities guarantees the presence of a strong character. Develop these traits every day - improve yourself. This will come in handy on the way to high goals.
Personal care, clothing
Lack of humiliation does not mean that you can neglect the rules of hygiene and basic care procedures. Appearance always matters. “They greet you by their clothes,” remember?
Agree, when there is dirt under your nails and your hair falls like tow on your face, it’s hard to be confident. And people will not perceive such a woman as a strong person. We won’t buy blue chicken in the store with yellow subcutaneous fat.
Clothes for a confident woman are those in which she feels comfortable and appropriate. A girl may love ripped jeans and oversized sweaters, but she understands that for an interview at a large, reputable company, she would be better off wearing pumps and a formal business suit.
Daring girls, as a rule, attract attention with bright accessories, catchy makeup, and a costume with elements of provocation.
Tough people they are
If the phrase “tough person” comes up in a conversation, then many begin to draw an image of an intolerant person who looks with disdain at the weakness of others. In fact, toughness can be called a reflection of a person’s strongest character traits, including perseverance, will and self-control.
Tough people tend to be leaders by nature. Moreover, it is worth considering that this character trait is not innate, it is formed under the influence of various external factors, often difficult life situations.
Rigidity can essentially be called the ability to remain steadfast even when external or internal stimuli for a long time do not provide the opportunity to relax.
Important
Internal irritants include personal weaknesses and desires, and external irritants include insults, neglect and resentment caused by other people.
A tough person is characterized by the following behavior:
The ability to quickly navigate difficult life situations and find the most optimal solution to a problem. The ability to defend your point of view on any important issue. The ability to protect yourself and your loved ones in critical situations, often without the use of physical force. High level of discipline, punctuality and willingness to take responsibility for words and actions.
The above character traits become the basis for the formation of an internal core, which often manifests itself in the form of rigidity, which can be very useful in situations such as:
- Conflicts with colleagues in the work environment.
- Stressful and force majeure incidents.
- Disputes and discussions that require defending your opinion.
- As a means of defense against opponent's aggression.
However, you should not think that rigidity is an exclusively positive feature. Such people also have certain disadvantages, for example:
- Emotional stinginess. It can be quite difficult for tough people to express intense joy or grief. For them, such vivid emotions are a sign of weakness that they cannot afford. They are used to controlling themselves both in professional activities and in everyday life, and increased emotionality for them is an indicator of a loss of control.
- Tendency to egocentrism. Over time, tough people begin to prioritize only their needs, believing that their desires and opinions are above all.
- Intolerance. A tough person is critical of himself and his environment. He does not accept weakness and mistakes. Democracy and tolerance are alien to him. If a tough person demands the maximum from himself, then he will also set higher standards for others.
- Problems with building romantic and friendly relationships. Intolerance and the inability to turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of others almost always become a tangible problem in creating social connections of one degree or another. No love can guarantee that a year later a tough person will not begin to reproach his soulmate for her bad habits or lack of ambition.
