Unfortunately, sometimes in our lives we come across tyrant bosses who constantly ignore the opinions of their employees and do everything at their own discretion, sometimes even humiliating or insulting their colleagues.
Receptive and more educated people sooner or later have a question: what to do in this case? How to behave correctly? And, perhaps, the most important thing is how to determine that the director is not just a strict boss, but a stupid tyrant?
How to work with a tyrant man?
I will give here recommendations that will help you choose the right model of behavior. Meanwhile, gifts on his birthday and February 23 will help you win the boss’s favor.
- Based on common gender patterns of behavior, male leaders tend to be more rational . They listen to the voice of reason. Try to provide a compelling reason why their behavior is unacceptable. For example, because long conversations interfere with the work process.
- A male director will react more sharply to a competitor who decides to take his place one way or another . Therefore, during a heated argument, do not try to outshine your boss or convince him of something. This will only make him angry. Offer your own options more correctly and gently.
- Do not deviate from your chosen position . Men evaluate the actions of others more logically and value consistency. If you criticize your boss's idea, go all the way and defend your thoughts - this will gain more respect.
Forewarned is forearmed!
Conflicts with superiors are easier to prevent than to deal with their consequences.
- Achieve a balance of interests. Conflicts with management often arise due to misunderstandings. The boss does not try to explain his position and desires to his subordinates, and the employees tolerate and silently carry out the manager’s vague tasks. Result: dissatisfaction on both sides. Look for benefits for yourself and for your superiors. Find the optimal balance of interests.
- Understand the boss. Take a closer look at the boss. By studying his habits, requirements, character traits, you will be able to avoid controversial situations and conflicts. Knowing the hidden reasons behind inappropriate behavior gives you a secret weapon in the fight against your boss's misconduct.
- Establish dialogue. People open up in communication. Through dialogue, you can convey to a person not only verbal information, but also your internal state. Surely you have seen employees who are able to calm their father-boss in anger or influence the boss - a slob. It's all about the right approach to communication, and every boss has weaknesses.
- Confidence from the first days. When you apply for a new job, show your confidence. Sadists and actors avoid confrontations with such people. Excessive confidence can unnerve a boss - a coward or a dictator. It's up to your leader how much you can raise the bar for your fearlessness.
You can find a balance in your relationship with any boss. Be more careful and don't be afraid of leadership.
How to behave with a tyrant woman?
Now let's talk about the characteristics that are characteristic of women in leadership positions.
- Women tend to analyze a person’s inner motives more than his specific actions . Therefore, it is extremely important to earn the “credit of trust” from the boss and win personal sympathy. Then almost all office “storms” will bypass you. To win favor, I recommend choosing a good gift for a female executive on her birthday.
- Try not to react to scandals and hysterics from your boss . You must remain absolutely calm and neutral. If the boss does not see a response from you, she will quickly calm down and, probably, begin to talk in a more acceptable form.
- Don't give in to provocations. Firmly declare your job responsibilities to the team and perform only those tasks that you really can do.
ATTENTION !! Don’t waste your energy and time on useless showdowns - only care about the end result. If it is impeccable, no one can blame you.
Indirect methods of influence
It is not always possible to resolve a conflict through ordinary conversation. Yes, competent speech plays an important role, but nonverbal techniques make it possible to get the upper hand over the situation.
To properly influence your boss, it is recommended:
Reception. Don't use a smile.
In a stressful situation, smiling is of no use and will only make the situation worse. Women often use a sweet smile in an attempt to assuage guilt before their boss. However, you should be serious and adequately assess the situation. A smile is especially dangerous with an “actor”, “sadist” or “dictator” boss.
Reception. Gaze control.
It is necessary to maintain eye contact, showing strength of character. If you can't look straight into the eyes, you can look at the nose. Under no circumstances should you lower your eyes. This is an indicator of weakness. Then the boss will understand that he has won and will begin to humiliate him even more harshly.
Reception. Gestures.
The nervous state is manifested in body movements. The boss will immediately notice nervous nodding of the head, shaking hands, nervous gestures, etc. All this shows fear and self-doubt.
Reception. Rack.
You should stand straight, without leaning on anything.
Reception. No crossbreeding.
You can’t cross your legs or arms in an attempt to block out negativity.
Reception. We are not getting better.
You should not try to straighten your hair, dry your clothes, etc.
Reception. We don't cover our faces.
Hands should not be on your face.
Reception. Nod.
A single nod is sufficient to express agreement.
Reception. Correct speech.
Use competent and clear speech.
Reception. Let's not hang out.
Answer the questions asked.
Reception. Cloth.
Appearance also plays an important role in the relationship between bosses and employees. A well-groomed business suit allows you to create distance. This practice is used in large organizations where all employees are required to wear business attire.
Advice from a psychologist - how to protect yourself and how to put yourself in your place?
Constant hassle at work is, unfortunately, becoming commonplace. In psychology you can find advice that will help you find justice for the tyrant director and protect yourself from his anger.
- Constant surveillance . This means that you must take control of the emotional climate in the office. Since the atmosphere at work depends entirely on the boss, try to predict when the next outburst of anger will begin. This will make your life much easier: at the right moment you will be able to withdraw yourself, prepare the necessary papers, or simply prepare yourself for an important conversation.
- Try to identify the weak points of your “enemy” . Every person has a set of topics that they would like to avoid. Monitor your boss's reactions to any micro-topics in the conversation - and after a while you will get a slight advantage that allows you to resist the tyrant. As soon as he raises his voice or gives another ridiculous order, you bring up a topic that is unpleasant for him. This will make him become calmer.
- Break established patterns of behavior . If the director is again sitting opposite you and scolding you, try to do something unexpected: for example, suddenly drop documents from the table or even spill water - the main thing is that another object enters the field of his attention. You will see, the aggressor will immediately become confused, because until that moment he was directing aggression towards you, and suddenly everything changed dramatically. Do this every time, and eventually the boss will stop showering you with reproaches.
- Understand that The main purpose of your stay at work is salary and self-development. Constant stress is not specified in the employment contract. The fact that your manager likes to make trouble and upset the nerves of others has nothing to do with you. You don't have to live in a state of war. Therefore, try to avoid quarrels, shouting, and swearing.
ADVICE . Treat your boss like a sick person - with pity and understanding. Yes, you sympathize with him, but you don’t want to “sick” like him.
What to do if your manager is toxic
On a global scale, you have only two options: leave or endure.
Obviously, evacuation is the best option when it comes to something toxic. If we were talking about real poison, the solution would be a little simpler. The exclusion zone around Pripyat or the asbestos-covered ghost town of Wittenoom in Australia are rather attractions for tourists who like to tickle their nerves. And frankly speaking, there are not many people who want to stay there permanently.
Sometimes, of course, there is a temptation to fight with a toxic leader. Like, running away means losing, so you have to stay until the last. Occasionally this even succeeds. But is it worth it? In most cases, you run the risk of wasting a lot of effort but not changing anything. But in the heat of battle you yourself will receive new wounds, from which it will be even more difficult to recover.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Moving away from the source of the poison is smart.
Another thing is that quitting is not always easy. Maybe you love your place of work so much that you are willing to put up with difficulties. Or you don't have a cushion, so regular income is vital. Or you have a rare specialty, so it will be difficult to find a job. In this case, your task is to stock up on protection from “toxic fumes” for the time being until you can quit or the situation corrects itself.
Is it worth trying to get rid of an unwanted boss?
There are several ways that will help you get out of the situation with dignity or annoy your boss. Which one to choose is up to you, since each case is unique.
- You can continue to work in the same place, but start ignoring the boss . Walk around the office, run errands, develop new projects, and then go home, not paying attention to the swearing and shouting around. This is not the worst way, but it requires nerves of steel and high professionalism from the employee. However, remember that an unhealthy atmosphere in a team cannot but leave its mark on your nervous system.
- The other way is more aggressive. You'll have to openly tell the director that you don’t like his rules. From this moment on, an endless struggle for a place in the sun will begin, from which you are unlikely to emerge victorious. For one simple reason: from a formal point of view, the boss has an advantage from the very beginning.
CAREFULLY ! The boss can simply fire you: you will be right, but unemployed. Are you ready for such a turn of events?
- The next option is a device . When things start to get tough, you shouldn’t fight, but just trust your boss and do as he asks. This is not a particularly productive or useful method. However, sometimes he can help you out - for example, in situations where issues are being resolved that you do not understand.
- You can still compromise . Voice reasonable terms of your potential agreement: perhaps the director will change his anger to mercy and listen to the opinion of his subordinate and begin to communicate more respectfully.
- And the last option is constructive cooperation . Nobody hurts other people's interests, each person works as expected. Perhaps this is the ideal relationship between boss and subordinate - strive for it!
Guilty without guilt
Often in organizations or at an enterprise, a situation arises when the employer does not formally violate labor laws, but creates such conditions for an employee he does not like that he wants to leave on his own.
Regardless of education, experience and position, anyone can encounter such an unpleasant factor.
This could be personal hostility, or the boss wants to make room for some “thieve,” and therefore he does his best to force the employee out of the organization, finds fault with every little thing, starts a conflict out of nowhere, and every day of the subordinate turns into a nightmare.
Let's consider those situations when the option of “just leaving” a tyrant boss does not suit us. Of course, if an employee could painlessly change jobs, then no one would make a problem out of it at all. Naturally, each situation is unique, but I hope the advice will be useful to you in some way.
Thank you in advance
If your boss's outbursts are related to you personally, then sending a thank you email in advance can neutralize his attacks. As Carolyn O'Hara3 recommends, “If you see the boss getting close to getting nervous, send him a message that you really appreciate his help in this particular matter.” This will soften him up and show you appreciate his efforts.
Nancy Rothbard suggests using the practice of “strategic apologies.” Its essence is that you offer a sincere apology for contacting your boss at the wrong time or admit your own small mistakes. "This can defuse the situation and shows that you understand the boss's difficult situation," says Nancy Rothbard.
