Often girls fall in love with guys who consciously or intentionally do not show interest in them, do not notice or ignore their sympathy. The feelings that overwhelm you inside do not allow you to exist in peace. And if part of the beautiful half of humanity does not give up trying to attract a lover, then the other reads literature in search of an answer to the question of what should I do if I have fallen very much in love. Falling in love is a wonderful feeling if it brings positivity and makes you become a better person. If it fills your existence with disappointments, you should think about the right behavior so as not to fall into a prolonged depression.
What should I do if I fell in love?
Love is a strong release of hormones, experiences comparable to driving at speed, with stress and emotional turmoil. You simultaneously feel inspired and depressed, depend on the mood of another person, do not sleep at night, are immersed in dreams, you are overcome by jealousy, outbursts of anger or tenderness.
Of course, every love story is unique and individual. There are cases when girls are faced with unequal social relationships, with men much older or, conversely, younger, with married or employed options. The plan of action depends on the characteristics of sympathy. There are several tips on how to survive in any of these situations.
Acknowledge this feeling, let it be
You should not deny your attraction and try to calm down the surging emotions. Cry if necessary, shout or jump, but admit your failure to attraction. You will immediately calm down by accepting the problem. Start finding the positives in this situation. After all, falling in love is not always scary.
Look at your feelings in terms of chemistry
The hormone phenylethylamine is responsible for falling in love. It gives a feeling of activity, emotional satisfaction, speeds up all processes in the body, but reduces the desire to eat, drink and sleep.
The love hormone – norepinephrine – increases breathing and heart rate. It makes you blush and sweat in the presence of the object of your adoration and even when thinking about it.
Dopamine is the hormone of strong desire and obsession. Don’t be surprised when lovers’ muscle tone increases, blood flow through the vessels accelerates, and the heart beats faster.
Serotonin and endorphins are produced when communicating with your chosen one. This is happiness and pleasure from being nearby. If these hormones, outside of the love that has arisen, are not often produced in your life, then a tender feeling can bring pain and sadness, instead of the usual mood and positivity.
Don't run after him
Remember that a man is more likely to be interested in a lady who needs to be looked after and who is worth pursuing. He will certainly appreciate your care, warmth and obsession with him, but not for long. He will become sad and will go to win the heart of another. Be interesting to the guy, show character and don’t try to run around satisfying his desires and needs.
Look carefully at his behavior to understand him
Analyze the object of your affection; perhaps he has also been in love for a long time, but is afraid to admit it:
- A man, in your opinion, behaves stupidly, speaks out of place, takes a long time to form an idea? The storm inside him does not allow him to concentrate on a specific topic. He is confused, he doesn’t know whether he will guess with an answer that will satisfy you. This makes him seem confused and a little inadequate.
- He is incredibly happy to be an assistant. Without thinking twice, he will come running to help. He wants to be a savior, a hero, especially at that stage when you are not yet his “legal property” and can slip away to someone else at any moment.
- The young man is trying to get your attention. He laughs loudly in your presence, tells jokes and interesting stories if you approach his company. He'll make sure someone tells you about his coolness and humor. Like any male, he will want to look presentable in the eyes of a female. When he sees her, he straightens his shoulders, straightens his hair and clothes. All this indicates tender feelings.
- The man is always nearby, as if by accident. Either he was casually in your yard, or he went into the store where you shop every evening, mixed you up in the phone book and sent an SMS by mistake. When such cases become noticeably more frequent, most likely the guy just wants to be close. Sometimes he has to make considerable efforts and put aside his affairs in order to be on your path, he is ready for such sacrifices.
- The chosen one tries to be positive and tries to make you laugh. It is unlikely that you will be indifferent to a person who makes you smile sincerely.
All these signs indicate feelings that have arisen in the young man. You should treat them carefully. Do not inspire yourself with false expectations ahead of time. You can't help but notice true love.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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The most difficult situations
When I fell in love with a friend
Don't panic ahead of time. Often happy couples are formed in this way - a guy and a girl are friends for some time, and then, unnoticed, they fall in love with each other. If we are talking about a real friend, then you can frankly confess your feelings to him. Perhaps they will soon turn out to be mutual, and your confession will make the guy look at you from a new perspective.
Fell in love with my boyfriend's friend
Most likely, this happened due to the fact that some problems have arisen in your current relationship that you may not have even thought about. First of all, try to establish a connection with your boyfriend, and then, most likely, falling in love with another person will disappear by itself.
I have strong feelings for a girl (friend)
It is possible that such feelings could arise against the background of general dissatisfaction in his personal life and disappointment in the guys. Having failed to find a suitable partner, sometimes girls begin to look at representatives of their own sex with new eyes, believing that only another woman can truly understand a woman. There are dating sites, various courses and interesting places where you can meet a worthy and understanding young man - take a few more tries!
A married man won my heart
The best way out of this situation is to try to switch your attention to someone else. A married man can be intriguing and exciting at first, but in the end it inevitably leads to conflicts, tears and condemnation. Try to avoid this right away.
Lost my head over my boss or teacher
Sometimes a relationship develops between a boss and a subordinate or a teacher and a student, but most often such love does not lead to anything serious. It is worth remembering that often men, being in a higher position, simply use girls in this way. And girls sometimes confuse their delight in the status and professional qualities of a potential chosen one with falling in love. Although, of course, there are exceptions and truly loving and happy couples are formed.
Choosing the right tactics
The main thing to do when you fall in love is to remain calm and not show anxiety in your behavior. You need to carefully find out information about the person that interests you. After delving into several stories from his life, it may well turn out that this is not your prince.
- It is not necessary to collect data alone - involve your friends, interview his acquaintances. You can collect information without arousing suspicion from your chosen one.
- Men are not endowed with cunning, so they practically do not know how to skillfully manipulate, speak in hints and hide attraction. If he likes you, he will be embarrassed and study you.
- Another way to find out if a guy likes you is to arrange a casual meeting. Perhaps he is going to the cinema or working out at a gym nearby. By chance, find yourself next to him. And the next date will be official.
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How not to become a slave to love
Love is a wonderful feeling filled with deep meaning. It often turns out to be insidious, completely capturing our consciousness and forcing us to commit inappropriate actions. A girl in love becomes completely dependent on her chosen one, on his mood and behavior. Meetings and conversations, even fleeting ones, acquire a special meaning for her. She tries to please a man, to please him even to the detriment of herself.
This tactic leads to a complete loss of self. A man feels necessary and superior, he becomes bored and loses interest. To prevent this from happening, you should not be intrusive, too flexible and polite. Men are hunters, they like it when a girl has a mystery, when she needs to be conquered, when she is beautiful, interesting, and witty. If you hook him, he will certainly appear in your field of vision. I will help you choose the right behavior and not alienate your other half, to do this, sign up for my consultation now. You will find peace of mind and happiness beyond any doubt.
Mistakes that can ruin everything
A girl in love will have to become more active and decisive, use every chance, but at the same time avoid mistakes. You need to maintain a balance between initiative and inaccessibility, an ideal image and naturalness.
You should first make friends with your lover. See each other, communicate, but do not impose and do not show feelings. Obvious signs of attention can scare a guy away. Not all men like an abundance of compliments and gifts from a girl.
You shouldn't play the role of a perfect girl. It’s better for your loved one to immediately see different facets of his girlfriend, because during a relationship, a sudden change in image can disappoint the guy. It is necessary to take a closer look at its shortcomings. They are always there, it’s just love that prevents you from seeing them.
What to do if I'm in love: behavior
There are several rules, following which you will not dissolve in a love whirlpool:
- You should not lose yourself. Be self-sufficient, develop yourself, don’t give up your hobby. Don't forget or change your goals. If a loved one appears in your life, this does not mean that she should radically change her route.
- If other representatives of the stronger sex show you signs of attention, do not push them away. While the relationship is in the stage of several meetings, you cannot be sure of its happy outcome. And his rivals will make him jealous and wonder if he is that good.
- Be positive. Even if the relationship doesn't work out the way you wanted, don't get depressed and don't give up other pleasures. Watch comedies, go to a cafe with friends, read exciting books. Don't let disappointment occupy your heart.
- The initiative to start a relationship should come from the young man. Don’t fuss, but give the right to vote and choice to him.
Love triangle
Even when everything is good in the family, a woman wants to be admired, complimented, and loved. Apparently, we understand that life is fleeting, but we so want to be happy. And now you’re scolding yourself: “I fell in love with someone else, but what about the family?” Yes, I fell in love while married, what should I do? The main thing is not to rush. And don’t rush headlong into a new, vibrant relationship.
Tell yourself: “I will not rush, destroy the family, or injure the child.” This is very important now. You can fall in love or sympathize with the man you like, but you don’t have to ruin your entire life for yourself and your husband because of it. And if you have a child, then all this threatens him with a psychological blow.
The situation is, of course, not simple. You mentally fly on the wings of love, and your husband, despite your attempts at normal conversations, apparently feels something. You are taking a big risk: it is always easier to destroy than to build! You may have fallen in love before, but this time it seems to you that it is something special. At first, this relationship is beautiful, dangerous, and very exciting, but after some time the severity of such a relationship will pass.
And you shouldn’t believe in his words that he will give up everything for you - these are dubious promises. Yes, there are happy exceptions when people fell in love, destroyed their families, and built their own family on the rubble. But experience suggests that all these are very, very isolated examples.
Life experience always comes with age, and the main thing is not to mess things up when you are in love.
After all, our life is like a zebra: sometimes a white stripe, sometimes a black one. Everything cannot be smooth and without problems. If you ask yourself: “Am I in love, or do I want to love the image I invented? He seems beautiful to me, romantic, and so on. I’m not sure he’s really like that!”
What to do if the situation is somewhat more complicated
We are not always able to love the right person. Sometimes it turns out that relationships become complex and confusing. This happens if you met a person with an unbearable character, a married man, a colleague, or fell in love with a friend’s boyfriend. Then a dilemma arises: what to do next, remain silent, keep your feelings to yourself, or make up your mind and tell everyone about your happiness. There is no clear answer to this question. You need to think according to the situation.
If the object of your desire is a colleague. Being face to face most of the week can make you feel embarrassed. Direct recognition will turn out to be unnecessary, not understood by either the partner or the work team, as well as too obvious hints.
That's why:
- take advantage of corporate parties to socialize better;
- look for the opportunity to organize a joint business trip or project;
- do not compete with him, do not show that you are smarter or faster;
- try to look neat and behave at ease, become the soul of the team;
- smile more often.
Don’t take it to heart that falling in love may not be mutual; feel free to break up if something goes wrong. Take all problems as invaluable experience on the path to true love.
What to do if a man is married
If the person you like has already gotten married, the best idea would be to end up having an affair with such a person. This will preserve your psyche and will not destroy his family. Every girl wants to be the only one and loved. In rare cases, a representative of the stronger sex is ready to leave his wife and go all out with a girl he barely knows. The process of his divorce can last for years, during which he will feed you with promises and live on both sides. It will seem to you that you are in second place.
Ask a question
Please note that often such love arises from a lack of male attention, a long absence of a close relationship and the desire to prove that any man will leave for you, and not at all because this is the love of your life. Assess adequately and soberly how acceptable this option is for you.
Statistics and interesting facts
- As it turns out, when meeting guys, they often pay attention to their face rather than their figure. If they like a girl’s face, then this is enough to fall in love, even if her figure is far from perfect.
- Most often, a guy's sympathy can be aroused by a girl whose facial features he finds something in common with his own facial features. In general, any coincidence in hobbies and outlook on life can provoke the appearance of falling in love.
- Having fallen in love, a person becomes more absent-minded.
- Communication with a loved one can cause a special reaction in a guy or girl, similar to intoxication.
What to do if I fell in love with a friend
This happens if you communicate for a long time, spend a lot of time together and one fine morning you realize that this connection is much more than just friendship for you. It would seem that what could be easier than confessing your feelings to a person with whom you communicated so well. Many are afraid that they will not be reciprocated and, moreover, that the friendship will be threatened and come to naught.
Don't rush to conclusions and confessions. You have a huge advantage over other representatives of the fair sex - you know his hobbies and interests well. It is necessary to choose a tactic of behavior in which your friend will look at you from a different perspective. Change your hairstyle, clothing style, choose outfits for a meeting with him as if you were going on a date, organize trips to the cinema to watch films about love, or have a candlelit dinner. Perhaps, if there is a spark of sympathy in him, he will notice a beautiful girl in you and confess his love himself.
Another option is to unobtrusively tell him that you fell in love with a good person, but not specify who. An interested friend will show interest and begin to find out who it is, show jealousy and try to dissuade you.
Non-reciprocal love or when a relationship is simply impossible
How to stop loving
If you cannot be together, then you need to do everything possible to erase this person not only from your life, but also from your thoughts. The easiest way to do this is to fill your everyday life with new hobbies and acquaintances. Write out your schedule for the next month minute by minute and stick to it. It is important that your schedule includes more meetings with new people (courses, trainings, etc.). Play sports, hang out with guys, have fun (even if you don't feel like doing it all), and the “healing” will follow.
How to behave correctly
If you fall in love, try not to show it to others, and even more so, refrain from loud confessions to friends or colleagues. Show interest in your chosen one so that he does not go beyond what is permitted, especially if you work together, play sports in a common team or study in the same stream. In case of failure, this can provoke ridicule and talking behind your back, in the worst case, the anger of your superiors or the contempt of your acquaintances.
