Why relieve your interlocutor’s emotional stress?
People are not machines.
Any information that we exchange is perceived against an emotional background, which usually does not interfere with communication.
We can negotiate, give orders, receive tasks, negotiate.
But if emotions run high, we lose the ability to communicate constructively.
Emotions “block” the channel of information exchange, so until the “normal” emotional background is restored, communication will be difficult.
You will not be able to agree on anything until the interlocutor is in a state of readiness to perceive your speech.
To achieve this, you need to be able to cope with emotions and create conditions for communication even in a conflict situation.
Non-verbal techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. Give the other person a chance to talk.
Don’t try to shout down, interrupt, or “chat.”
Conducting a conversation in a raised voice, especially while shouting, requires a lot of nervous tension.
Once the person has said everything he was going to say, you will have time to say everything you want and he will be ready to hear you.
Until he says everything he planned to say, or gets tired of pouring out his emotions, any attempt to interrupt will cause even greater aggression.
Technique 2: Listen carefully
Try to establish and maintain eye contact with your partner, nod, lean or lean forward, implicitly “join” - take the same position as your interlocutor.
Technique 3. Close the distance
At a social distance (0.5-1.2 m), it is difficult to have a conversation in a raised voice.
Boxers close the distance so that the opponent does not have room to swing when striking, close people hug each other to calm them down.
Smile, touch, lean in.
Electronic means of communication depersonalize communication - it’s easy to write something rude in an email, messenger or correspondence on a social network, say something unpleasant on the phone and hang up.
It is more difficult to decide on the same during personal communication.
If a conflict arose during correspondence or telephone communication, arrange a personal meeting.
Technique 4. Create spatial comfort for communication
If your opponent is standing, stand up; if he is sitting, sit down.
If there is an obstacle separating it - a table, a chair, a counter - remove it or go around it.
Suggest sitting at an acute or 90-degree angle.
If possible, sit next to him.
Speech techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. If you are a stranger, say your name and find out the name of the person you are talking to.
Try to say the name of your interlocutor as often as possible during the conversation.
Calling by name does not allow communication to become depersonalized.
It is much easier to insult a stranger than someone you know, even if only for a few seconds.
Technique 2: Adjust the pace of the conversation
Slightly tighten the rhythm and tempo of your speech; if the interlocutor speaks too quickly and emotionally, pause in speech.
Calm, measured speech is difficult to “load” with emotions.
Technique 3. Make it clear that you understand the importance of the problem and are ready to resolve it.
Tell your interlocutor about this.
Technique 4. Emphasize the importance of the interlocutor.
Be prepared to say that you value him and his opinion and relationship are very important to you.
Technique 5. Tell about your well-being, the state that the interlocutor’s words caused, if his status is higher, his position is stronger than yours
“I’m sorry, I’m offended, I’m unpleasant...”
Technique 6. Tell about the state and well-being of the interlocutor, if his status is lower, his position is weaker than yours
“I understand how unpleasant and offensive it is for you... I understand that you are disappointed...”
Technique 7. Address the facts - without emotion, talk through all the details of the situation that caused the conflict
"Let's figure out what happened..."
Technique 8. Offer a specific way out of the current situation
If this is not possible, promise to find him as soon as possible.
Ask your interlocutor what way out of the situation he considers the best.
It is not necessary that you accept it - the main thing is that your communication partner will be forced to control his emotions, otherwise it will be difficult for him to collect his thoughts.
Technique 9. Find and highlight something in common
It could be a similarity of interests, opinions, goals, or even just a desire to quickly cope with the situation in which you find yourself - unity is very important.
If “we” means “ours”, and ours cannot but agree.
Technique 10. Acknowledge that the other person is right about what he is right about.
If you know that the current situation is your fault, immediately admit it.
This will not change the situation, but the opponent will have fewer reasons for overly emotional communication.
He no longer needs to prove that he is not guilty and convince you to admit that you are wrong; he will be ready to discuss the problem on its merits.
Ways to relieve emotional stress
Prepared by:
Pochinkova Natalia Sergeevna,
educational psychologist of the consultation department
GBU JSC "
Ways to relieve emotional stress
Emotional stress is a set of emotional experiences that reduce the emotional background and motivational sphere of the individual. The state of emotional stress is accompanied by a feeling of a person’s helplessness in the face of life’s circumstances, one’s own uselessness, a feeling of loss of the meaning of life or the purpose of activity. The work is done formally, interest in others is supported by social requirements, apathy gradually begins to fill all areas of life. The feeling of causeless anxiety and restlessness increases. The state of emotional tension in most cases is caused by a person’s inability to express his emotional and sensory experiences. This is due to social norms of behavior, prohibitions on expressing aggressiveness and discontent. Many people are taught from childhood that they should not be angry with certain people or resist certain actions.
Timely relief of emotional stress helps to avoid serious consequences, but it is also worth taking care of preventive methods to prevent the accumulation of tension. Relieving emotional stress requires serious internal and external work, a keen sense of your needs and capabilities, as well as patience, since it is impossible to remove in a couple of minutes what has been accumulating for months. Today, psychologists offer many techniques aimed at relieving tension. They can be classified as follows. 1. Techniques related to images. This group of techniques includes all visualization techniques. Let's look at an example. Tree. You need to imagine your state as a tree. If you are scared, anxious or offended, the tree will most likely be small, weak, with few branches. Imagine in detail the place, the weather, the surroundings. Gradually start growing your tree. This must be done slowly. First you see how the trunk becomes larger, foliage appears, horses grow. The weather is calming down. If it was raining, the clouds clear and the sun comes out. The tree becomes powerful, it can no longer be broken so easily and it does not stagger from the wind. As you perform, you will feel yourself calm down a little. Water. A similar technique, but we imagine not a tree, but water. First, imagine your state at the moment. Most likely the water will be agitated, perhaps it will be a raging sea. Imagine the colors, the weather, the clouds. When visualizing, the more detailed you imagine, the better. Then slowly calm the waters in your imagination. The waves are getting smaller. The wind subsides. The sun is coming out. Imagine until the water surface becomes completely smooth.
2. Bodily techniques. This includes a lot of different things - a hot bath, active exercises, sports, self-massage. Hot tea or, conversely, cool drinks. Breathing is presented separately, although indirectly it certainly relates to bodily techniques.
3. Breathing techniques.
The basic principle is to exhale longer than inhale. You can use this account. Inhale for 4 counts, hold your breath for 2 counts, exhale for 6 counts. Make sure you don't get too dizzy. If your head is very dizzy, you can take a break and breathe again on a count. Another version of the breathing exercise is this: your task is to turn on calm music and breathe to it. Try to combine your breathing with the rhythm of the music. It is important to understand that there is no right or wrong decision here. The task itself helps to switch attention, distract and calm down.
Visualization goes well with breathing techniques.
4. Artistic techniques
This includes all techniques related to self-expression through art - paint, clay, paper, pencils and others. Anxiety can be drawn. You can dance it. You can use plasticine to sculpt (nowadays a very large number of interesting types of plasticine have appeared in stores: they do not stick to your hands and are much more pleasant to work with).
Face-saving techniques
What to do when you are insulted? How to respond with dignity, maintaining inner peace and not losing face?
Technique 1. “External consent”
When someone says something unpleasant and offensive to you, it is assumed that you will lose control of yourself and reciprocate.
Or you will begin to prove to him that he is wrong and his words are unfair.
The phrase “maybe you are right” does not mean that you agree, everyone understands this, but it deprives the interlocutor of the right to continue the verbal attack.
In any case, it is obvious that repeating it is useless.
Technique 2. “Repetition”
Saying out loud what your interlocutor told you in the heat of the moment is very useful.
It is unlikely that anyone who is already prepared to hear “You are a fool!” ready to hear your words and ready to respond to them.
Even if he has a large vocabulary, constantly hearing the echo of his words without getting the desired result in the form of an emotional reaction is unlikely to please his opponent.
Technique 3. “Clarification”
"Do you really think so? Why?
Technique 4. “Part of my personality”
Someone doesn't like something about you.
Recognize that this is acceptable. But this is your personal quality that belongs to you, so someone else’s judgment about it does not affect you.
“Yes, I work slowly. But I try to do everything without mistakes, so I double-check my work.”
How does emotional stress manifest itself?
Against the background of complete physical and mental comfort, the patient experiences a sharp or, most often, gradual increase in the following manifestations:
- irritability, both towards others and towards oneself;
- loss of interest in work, entertainment, loss of motivation in life;
- problems with sleep, a person has difficulty falling asleep, sleeps superficially, often wakes up. In the morning, attacks of anxiety and fear are typical;
- during the day, apathy, boredom, inattention and absent-mindedness, and drowsiness occur;
- the patient tries to avoid society and withdraws more and more into himself. Against this background, he increasingly experiences attacks of anger and uncertainty;
- the patient begins to avoid physical activity, it becomes painful for him, his appetite disappears, and functional disorders of the internal organs occur (constipation, diarrhea, headaches, severe weakness, etc.). The pattern of complaints can be varied.
