What is the difference between confidence and self-confidence - psychology

Many people tend to believe that confidence and self-confidence are the same thing. Naturally, these concepts are very different. So what is the difference between self-confidence and confidence?

It's simple - the first has no real basis and is bravado, while the second is inherent in people who know their capabilities and understand their capabilities. Moreover, it is not far from self-confidence to arrogance, when a person is unable to correctly calculate his strength, which is why he can get into an unpleasant situation.

What is this in psychology?

Some people are not very clear about the meaning of the word “self-confident.” When they see a successful person, they consider him that way. But this concept, according to experts, is more likely to have a negative connotation than a positive one. Others, on the contrary, “denigrate” this character trait of a person too much, confusing it with inflated self-esteem or excessive arrogance.

The most common mistake is to replace two human qualities such as self-confidence and self-confidence.

Differences from self-confidence

Self-confidence and self-confidence are significantly different from each other. The difference is that the first definition is suitable for people who only pretend that they can do everything and do not need any help. While a confident person actually has sufficient knowledge and skills to cope with almost any task. The former can say for years that very soon an invaluable work of literature will come out of their pen, while the latter will silently release several works that will be extremely popular.

In other words, self-confident individuals are just a false shell that has no basis. Confident people, on the contrary, are filled with various ideas - they are hardworking individuals who do more than they talk.

They enjoy relationships with other people

To treat others well, you need to feel confident in yourself. This brings a feeling of safety and security. It is this sense of security that allows confident people to be authentic, sincere, open, without hiding behind masks and not being afraid of rejection.

Indeed, people with high self-esteem do not need to hide or defend themselves. They also usually do not feel anxious when communicating and interacting with other people, because they treat them the same way as they treat themselves. You won't hide or be afraid of yourself, will you?

In addition, the love and respect that people with high self-esteem have for themselves, they give to others in the hope of receiving the same in return. For this reason, they are unlikely to enter or stay in toxic and destructive relationships.

Signs

As paradoxical as it may sound, psychologists say that under self-confidence lies nothing more than a complete lack of self-confidence. The speech and behavior of such a person are full of bravado. Self-confident people are ready to praise themselves constantly, although in fact, even if they have any talents, they are simply afraid to use them.

It seems that a proud person is a proud person. And if you look closely at him, you can see that he has the same features as an offended child. By the way, all these qualities come from childhood.

Most often, the biggest role in the development of a self-confident person is played by his parents or teachers.

The most common prerequisites for this are two completely opposite conditions.

1. First , adults make excessive demands on the child, subjecting him to severe criticism for the slightest mistake, awkward appearance, lack of physical strength, or lack of any talents. For example, parents got it into their heads that their child must certainly become a great violinist, but the child “had a bear step on his ear.” No matter how hard he tries, he fails to meet the expectations of his relatives. The first are furious, the second is complex.
2. The second reason is that the offspring is basking in the praise of relatives and teachers. From a young age he is taught that he is the smartest, most beautiful, and most capable. As a result, the young creature believes in this so much that he begins to consider himself omnipotent, although in reality he does not show off any talents, desire to learn and work on himself.

It is very simple to understand that this is exactly the kind of person in front of you. Here are some of the main differences between a self-confident person.

• They perceive any criticism as a personal insult. He doesn't know how to listen to others. In any dispute, he wants to emerge victorious. At the same time, his main arguments are screaming, aggression, and sometimes even hysteria.
• A self-confident person experiences every mistake as a personal tragedy. At the same time, it happened, in his deep conviction, solely due to an unfortunate coincidence of circumstances or even someone’s malicious intent.
• Such a citizen constantly sings hymns to the glory of his beloved. He claims that he is a superman, capable of any accomplishment.
• This type is not able to work on the same project for a long time if it causes him any difficulties. His complexes do not allow him to move forward. He cannot accept even the slightest mistake. After all, in the eyes of others and his own, he must remain a genius.
• A self-confident employee will never improve on what he has already done. He won't even try to correct the mistakes. Everything he does, in his opinion, is already flawless.

Pros and cons of self-confidence

Sometimes self-confidence brings positive results. For example, when a person may not respond to excessive criticism and continues to go his own way. The problem is that these people use superlatives. This means that self-confidence often becomes excessive. Its excess leads to financial failures - an overly self-confident person can make a mistake, without even for a minute doubting that he is right. He will invest money in a bank that, according to all forecasts, will “burst” tomorrow, but his self-confidence does not give him the opportunity to analyze the situation and the market.

Overconfidence also poses other dangers. Such a person often cannot adequately assess his appearance and state of health. He diligently does not notice any flaws, which often leads to the fact that he carefully hides his poor health even from himself. Blames everything on bad weather, mood, others. As a result, a visit to the doctor is not even postponed, and is not even considered in principle.

Often among self-confident people there are overweight people. They do not respond to comments from friends and relatives , they do not want to understand that this not only spoils their appearance, but also leads to serious consequences. Confident in their superiority, such patients get to doctors when it is too late, if they get there at all, and another distinctive feature of them is a tendency to self-medicate.

Don’t forget that everything is good in moderation, including self-confidence. You just need to find a middle ground.

After all, excessive suspiciousness also does not lead to anything good. Therefore, if you recognize yourself in the citizen described above, it’s time to think and adjust your behavior, lifestyle, view of yourself and those around you. After all, even the most brilliant artist will remain unknown if he does not have enough self-confidence to open his own vernissage or show a painting to a recognized master. Not a single book will be published, even if its author is the second Pushkin, if at the same time he regularly puts all his manuscripts in the table and does not show it even to his closest relatives and friends.

Notes

1. Chamorro-Premuzic, Tomas. Self-confidence: How to increase self-esteem, overcome fears and doubts = Confidence. Overcoming Low Self-Esteem, Insecurity, and Self-Doubt. - M.: Alpina Publisher, 2014. - 266 p. — ISBN 978-5-9614-4583-1.. P. 203.

Have you ever met self-confident people? How do you rate them? Is it easy to communicate with them? Are you self-confident? People tend to notice a hint of negativity in others, but justify the manifestation of such a mood in themselves. So let's figure out how to evaluate self-confidence, regardless of who shows it and in what situations.

First of all, it’s worth noting that people don’t always have the right idea of ​​what self-confidence is. For example, they often confuse it with self-confidence, high self-esteem and even arrogance. But these are completely different concepts.

Self-confidence is exaggerated confidence in one’s own abilities and oneself, confidence in one’s perfection and absence of mistakes. If, for example, we compare self-confidence with self-confidence, then the latter carries a more positive connotation of personal abilities and skills.

Positive aspects of self-confidence

Even though self-confidence carries a negative connotation, when examined in detail, it is not so bad.

For example, self-confidence will not harm those who hold a high position, have contact with competitors and the public, and life is much easier for people with self-confidence than others. After all, self-confidence inspires a person, encourages him to believe in his own strengths, abilities and talents, and does not allow him to stop there. If a person is also prudent, then others may not even be aware of his inherent quality.

Self-confidence is associated with a strong belief in a positive outcome of a situation. And such an attitude not only allows you to avoid stress, not pay attention to little things and not give up, but can literally improve your health.

After all, by allowing negativity to take over your brain, a person exhausts himself, and this is not typical for self-confident people. But, of course, everything must be balanced, because otherwise...

Self-confidence conceals negativity

Most likely, most people, when asked: “Do they consider self-confidence a positive or negative quality?” will be more inclined to the latter option, and there are good reasons for this. After all, self-confident people usually:

• First they do, and then they think;

• They are confident in their own abilities and somewhat exaggerate them, which in turn leads to the fact that they easily grasp at various tasks, but in fact cannot complete them. At best, they will only waste their own time, and at worst, they will let others down if their actions were aimed at a common cause;

• Behave overly arrogantly towards others, and this is reflected in their speech, because they consider themselves more capable than others;

• Critical and selfish, which they are not ashamed of.

And the conclusion is the following...

What picture emerges in general? Self-confidence is inherent in people. It is fraught with both negative and positive aspects. A lot depends on a person’s mood and his attitude towards others.

If a person is by nature prone to selfishness, then his self-confidence will only worsen the situation. After all, an egoistic mindset encourages you to think only about yourself and your own benefit and self-confidently strive for this.

But do not forget that there are other motivating factors for the manifestation of self-confidence. Often people with the best intentions strive to develop this quality in themselves, because its absence prevents them from achieving certain heights.

Others have become more self-confident in order to be able to protect themselves from the psychological pressure of other people. Therefore, you need to objectively evaluate this interesting quality and make sure that you show it in a balanced way in your life.

What do you think, dear readers, is self-confidence a bad character trait or a good one? Please leave your thoughts on this matter in the comments to the article.

You can read this article in Ukrainian

*****

Regardless of whether you are a self-confident person or not, everyone has health problems. Especially such a popular disease as thoracic kyphosis, which needs to be dealt with in the early stages of its development. Even your self-confidence will not help you here.

How to increase?

To become a self-confident person, but at the same time not overestimate your own capabilities, you should take several steps. This will help you use your inner strengths and solve any problems, both professional and personal, more easily. First of all, change your attitude towards criticism. Yes, it is not always pleasant and sometimes not constructive. But this is only sometimes. Often, from those who criticize us, we can take the experience or knowledge we lack. Treat these conversations like lessons at school. Some of the knowledge gained will be very useful in the future.

The second rule is to celebrate your victories. Of course, you shouldn’t go to a party with friends after every successful step. Keep a diary and write down your achievements there - switching to proper nutrition, regular visits to the gym, being polite, everything that was not typical for you before, but that you were able to achieve. This is your list of victories. Very soon there will be significantly fewer defeats in life.

Third , don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You can only remain impeccable by doing nothing. Don't take every miss as a complete failure. Try to learn to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings. Remember what Munchausen said? “Every stupid thing on earth is done with a serious expression on the face. So smile, gentlemen." Laughter not only lifts your spirits, but also prolongs life, and often helps you find a way out of the most difficult and sometimes dead-end situations.

And lastly , dream, set new goals for yourself. Have you already earned money for an apartment, a car and even a yacht, but it doesn’t bring you pleasure? Talk to yourself. What do you really want? Maybe you've always wanted to travel a lot or take up dancing at the most expensive samba school in Brazil? Remember your childhood desires and rush to meet them.

Don't be afraid of your desires, let them be afraid of your possibilities. Just don't go too far. Don't forget, our task is to find a middle ground.

How to communicate with such a person?

While it is possible to change yourself if you are overly self-confident, it is difficult to calm such a person down in your environment. Moreover, his bad example can become contagious. Therefore, if you find yourself in front of an overly self-confident citizen, adhere to the following rules.

• Never respond to rudeness with rudeness, do not make a “bazaar” out of an argument, remain calm, even if your self-confident interlocutor becomes hysterical.
• Don’t be afraid to stop him with a sharp question - for example, “Why are you yelling at me or being rude?” More often than not, all this drives an overly self-confident person into a stupor. After all, for him, elevated tones are the norm; he doesn’t even notice that the decibels are “off the charts.”
• Don't take everything he says as dogma. Analyze the words and, if you realize that in front of you is just a notorious Mr. (Miss) Self-confidence, forget the conversation with him, imagine that it was a bad dream.
• Don't be led by a self-confident person. To end an unconstructive conversation with him, use a short phrase: “Thank you, I will take into account everything you said.” Then follow the previous point.

Finally, never lose confidence in yourself, even if there are a dozen self-confident colleagues next to you who only talk about their superiority. After all, as you know, when a dog barks, the caravan still moves on.

The amazing ability of the Russian language to masterfully play with shades of words and concepts that are very close in meaning is truly amazing. How, for example, is self-confidence different from self-confidence? At first glance, they are so close... But upon closer examination, they are infinitely far from each other! Why should we differentiate between self-confidence and confidence? Let's try to understand this issue.

The content of the article

Comparison

Astonishingly, according to the observations of psychologists, self-confidence is the first sign of an insecure person. Self-confident people hide their complexes under aggressiveness, ostentatious courage, selfishness, arrogance, bravado and even external equanimity. The foundations of both confidence and self-confidence are laid in childhood: much depends on external factors (for example, parental divorce) and upbringing. An incorrectly brought up individual grows up to be angry, passive, touchy, and fussy. He hides these negative qualities under the guise of self-confidence.

A confident person is a Personality. He is aware of his advantages and disadvantages, respects his individuality, does not curry favor with anyone, and carries himself through life with a sense of self-worth. Confidence is inseparable from sincerity: it is incompatible with lies and hypocrisy. A confident person is not afraid to express his opinion, including in front of a large audience, and knows how to insist on his own. But at the same time he adequately responds to criticism and comments. He is able to independently draw conclusions about what is happening, without relying only on the opinions of others, traditions and authorities. Confident accepts people as they are.

A self-confident (that is, actually insecure) person strives for dominance over others, for fame, for power. He argues about literally any issue and constantly finds himself in “slippery” and conflict situations, is painfully proud and overly touchy. A self-confident person believes that life constantly challenges him, so many ordinary circumstances become a real problem for him.

Many large companies, when testing future employees, give preference to confident rather than self-confident applicants, because they believe that the character traits and behavior of the latter can harm the interests of the business.

Conclusions TheDifference.ru

1. The concept of confidence
   carries a positive meaning, the concept
   of self-confidence
   has a negative meaning.
2. Self-confidence is considered by psychologists to be the basis of adequate, reasonable behavior. Self-confidence is an alarming symptom that indicates problems with the psyche and behavior.
3. Confidence is based on a correct awareness of oneself and one’s place in the world, on objective indicators. Self-confidence has no justification.
4. A confident person is full of self-esteem and aware of his needs and capabilities. A self-confident person is very easy to manipulate: he, paradoxically, is an extremely insecure person. Self-confidence is deceptive bravado.

Date of publication: November 20, 2013
Until recently, I myself believed that the concepts of confidence and self-confidence were one and the same. And many people think so too. But a couple of years ago I learned and realized that there is a huge gap between these concepts, despite the similar name and even some similarity.

Let's figure out what the difference is

So, let's start with self-confidence. This quality is characteristic of charming, developed and independent individuals. Or rather, they have it quite well developed. And also, to some extent, most people have it. For some, this quality is more developed, for others, it is weaker.

• What is self-confidence?

There is such a thing as a comfort zone. The larger your comfort zone, the more confident you are.

• What is a comfort zone?

These are the circumstances and situations in which we know what to do and how best to do it.

For example, you have a favorite cafe, you have been there many times, you may already know some of the staff, you know the menu, you know where the toilet is, etc. In short, you know how everything works in this place. This cafe is in your comfort zone and makes you feel confident.

And another situation. You have come to a new cafe that you have never been to before. Here you will most likely feel insecure, because you don’t know how everything works here. But when you figure it out, you will expand your comfort zone.

The same applies to all areas of our lives. We feel more confident the more we know and the larger our comfort zone.

Therefore, the more often we expand our comfort zone, the faster we become a confident person.

The most important area in which you need to develop and thereby increase your comfort zone is the area of ​​communication with people, or in another way it can be called sociability.

What prevents us from becoming sociable are fears and modesty, which, in fact, is also a set of fears. Fears that everyone around us is hostile, that we will receive a refusal in response and because of this we will be upset, fear of being offended, etc.

There are fewer fools than people think: people simply do not understand each other.

© Luc de Vauvenargues

What should be done?

We need to get rid of these fears! And the better we get rid of them, the better and faster we will be able to expand our comfort zone and become more self-confident. Because if we can quickly find a common language with strangers, then we can quickly expand our comfort zone.

I highly recommend that you direct your efforts in this direction. Communication skills open many doors!

A real man must be confident in himself! To do this, he must overcome his fears and destroy unnecessary barriers, be smart and knowledgeable, be independent and charming, be physically and mentally strong. Must be able to find a way out of any situation.

A real man should always know what to do! Even when he doesn’t know!

© Maxim Aludin

We recommend reading - How to get rid of self-doubt - effective tips

What is self-confidence

And it’s no coincidence that we do this after a paragraph about real men. You will ask why? Here's why:

• Most women want to see a confident man next to them.

And it is no coincidence, because a woman is by nature physically less strong and needs protection, as well as the protection of her children. In addition, it is more difficult for a woman to make a choice; emotions get in the way.

And, since many people do not see the difference between self-confidence and self-confidence, women mistakenly believe that self-confident men can give them what they need.

In practice, self-confident people do have some self-confidence, but they are so sure that they are right that they crush with their stubbornness and do not take into account the opinions of other people. They are not capable of dialogue and consider only their opinion to be the only correct one.

The desire to always be right is a sign of vulgarity.

© Albert Camus

Accordingly, women who decide to throw in their lot with a self-confident man will probably be able to feel “like behind a stone wall,” but be prepared that behind this wall you will not have a gate and there will be no freedom.

And if you are lucky and get a confident man, then you will feel supported and supported, but at the same time you will still have your freedom.

But such men, unfortunately, are in the minority. And to increase your chances of meeting him, you need to develop and become better and more harmonious yourself.

A self-confident person does not need his half, he is already whole. And he is more interested in whole people.

Many people tend to believe that confidence and self-confidence are the same thing. Naturally, these concepts are very different. So what is the difference between self-confidence and confidence? It's simple - the first has no real basis and is bravado, while the second is inherent in people who know their capabilities and understand their capabilities. Moreover, it is not far from self-confidence to arrogance, when a person is unable to correctly calculate his strength, which is why he can get into an unpleasant situation.

How to become confident

Unfortunately, there are not so few people who were raised incorrectly. Therefore, many of those who suffer from self-doubt, which interferes both in their personal lives and in building a career, have to cultivate self-confidence themselves. Confidence appears when a person achieves victories.

And for this he needs to visit different circumstances and adequately resolve emerging life situations. At the same time, psychologists advise not only to rely on your own common sense and intuition, but also to read the relevant psychological literature.

Tip #1

Every person has attacks of bad mood and self-doubt, when it seems to him that he is worthless in this life, and all abilities, achievements and joyful moments are forgotten. At such moments, it is worth taking a sheet of paper and making a table on it with three columns: “My talents”, “My achievements”, “My best character traits”. This sheet should be re-read more often to give yourself vigor and lift your spirits.

You can keep a notebook and write down every day all the good things that happened that day. A confident person is usually a person with positive emotions who treats himself with love and respect.

Tip #2

People who lack self-confidence are often prone to self-deprecation or self-flagellation. They tend to mentally return to past events and negatively evaluate most of their actions. But they say that we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. If we ourselves are constantly overly critical of ourselves, then it is not surprising that other people will underestimate us.

You should get rid of such continuous, exhausting introspection, which lowers your self-esteem, by immediately telling yourself “stop.” And this must be done until the habit of negatively evaluating all your actions goes away. As an incentive, you can promise yourself a gift.

Tip #3

Don't compare yourself to other people. Such a comparison can either underestimate or overestimate self-esteem. To achieve success, you can only compare yourself with yourself yesterday.

Tip #4

A confident person is of interest to other people. In order to develop traits that can be positively assessed by others and bring joy and benefit to people, you need to work on yourself. A person who has mastered the art of conversation, dance, and music is confident in himself because he knows his worth and is a welcome guest in any company.

Tip #5

Working on your appearance and demeanor will help you gain self-confidence. We have all noticed that a confident person behaves relaxed and natural, while an insecure person behaves constrained and tense. Insecure people are afraid of once again attracting someone else's attention to themselves.

To overcome uncertainty, it is important to be able to relax your body: from time to time you need to “look through” it with your mind’s eye, relaxing your muscles and relieving tension and pressure. Taking a few deep breaths will also help relieve muscle tension.

People who are confident in themselves, as a rule, have a good, “regal” posture, while unconfident people slouch, as if apologizing for taking away someone else’s attention.

You can make it a habit when walking not to look at your shoes, but to look at the tops of the trees or mentally stretch your body upward. Of course, it is important not to overdo it so as not to look unnatural.

It’s also worth keeping an eye on your voice: timid “choked” or “rooster” intonations give away insecure people. Before entering into a conversation, you can say the phrase mentally and imagine the intonation with which it will be pronounced.

They betray uncertainty and a tense turn of the head, a frozen expression on the face, an averted or fussy gaze. The best option: a slightly raised head, a friendly expression, a calm look.

Psychologists believe that it is not necessary to look your interlocutor directly in the eyes, since such contact carries a strong energy charge, and it is difficult not to get confused and maintain self-confidence. If the interlocutor is at a distance of about 2 m, then you can smoothly move your gaze along the contour of his head, look alternately at his forehead, eyebrows, lip, and chin. Due to the distance, the gaze will be perceived as eye to eye.

There are many ways to develop self-confidence, among which everyone can choose what suits them. It is quite possible that the help of a psychotherapist will not be superfluous.

Confidence and self-confidence, what's the difference?

If you begin to delve more deeply into these concepts, you can figure out whether self-confidence differs from confidence and in what way. It is quite easy to find out that a self-confident person is usually not confident in himself, he is completely confident in his own infallibility and believes that he is the one who is able to do everything correctly and without mistakes. In addition, various complexes are often hidden under self-confidence, additionally hiding them under aggressiveness, arrogance and selfishness. Usually, overconfidence is the result of poor upbringing, and the individual thus tries to hide his worst qualities, such as touchiness, passivity and anger.

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A self-confident person seeks to dominate others by showing his strength and power. He often does not have proof of his words, but stubbornly continues to enter into an argument in order to prove his advantage.

Psychologists believe that self-confidence is a separate mind that knows everything better than anyone, understands everything and understands absolutely any subject.

What is the difference between confidence and self-confidence? It’s just that a confident person doesn’t look for all this. He does not try to prove to anyone that he is right, he clearly knows his capabilities and does not seek to prove anything to anyone, which is the main difference.

True confidence eliminates hypocrisy and arrogance.

A confident person is able to defend his opinion even in front of a large audience and is able to insist on his own. At the same time, he can adequately respond to incoming criticism or comments.

To understand the differences, a simple example can be given. A self-confident person can tell everyone he knows about what a good and interesting book he is going to write. However, he never does. A self-confident person will simply write and publish a book, after which he will tell his friends about it.

What is the difference between self-confidence and confidence, we learn to recognize

Overly self-confident people are characterized by:

• refusal to correct errors, or even notice them;
• self-confidence;
• an arrogant attitude towards others and regularly reminding them of what a person is better at than them;
• thoughtless actions (first do, then think).

It is worth understanding that sometimes self-confidence can be a plus. As a rule, such behavior is necessary for bosses. By doing this, they keep their subordinates in their hands, not allowing them to challenge their authority. Moreover, self-confidence allows you not to doubt your abilities. It also helps not to stop there, continuing to improve. People who suffer from low self-esteem are not able to lead such a full life.

Self-confidence is based on self-love, whereas the source of confidence is self-respect. Therefore, the latter are given preference when hiring, for example.

What character traits are inherent in insecure people?

Among our friends there will probably be smart, beautiful, intelligent people who, for no apparent reason, are not confident in themselves and their abilities.

A person can be called unconfident if he:

• is embarrassed in any life situations;
• lacking initiative;
• needs his actions to always be approved by other people;
• silently endures insults and insults, constantly making excuses;
• allows himself to be manipulated or used in the interests of other people, does not know how to refuse or say “no”;
• afraid to express his opinion for fear of appearing incompetent.

How to deal with a self-confident person

Everyone has probably met a self-confident and extremely arrogant person. Usually he immediately goes into conflict at the slightest opportunity.

To get out of a conflict, just follow these rules:

1. There is no need to respond to rudeness with rudeness.
2. It is enough to simply ignore the interlocutor and the conflict itself will disappear.
3. It is important not to show your reaction to provocations. Responses to offensive phrases should be as neutral as possible.
4. You should not take everything your opponent says as the truth.

For such people, such ostentatious self-confidence acts as a protective shell. Thanks to her, they are in contact with the outside world.

Distinguishing a self-confident person from a self-confident one - video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgOpAEkTiQM

Unlike self-esteem, which is based on adequate self-esteem, self-confidence is a completely unfounded belief of an individual in his ideality and the absence of shortcomings, both internal and external.

It is necessary to distinguish the concepts of self-confidence from self-confidence. The latter is a subjective positive assessment of one’s own strengths, capabilities and potential, which are necessary to achieve a certain goal or complete a task.

How people see us is largely based on how we see ourselves. Excessive self-confidence can often alienate others, but at the same time it increases as an individual gains success. We cannot always discern the line beyond which our self-confidence turns into too high self-confidence, and not all factors influencing this are subject to us.

What characterizes self-confident people

Let's start with what self-esteem is. In short, this is an emotional assessment that we give to ourselves. It comes from what we think about ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, and how we act. Therefore, whether we consider ourselves worthy and deserving of love and respect.

So, people with high self-esteem:

Overconfidence

Some people mistakenly believe that there are certain positive aspects to self-confidence. However. On the contrary, research in psychology proves the fact that in most cases the cause of failure is precisely the individual’s excessive self-confidence. It leads to the fact that forces and real prospects are viewed distortedly, from an idealized point of view, so that as a result, success is never achieved. Overly self-confident people do not admit mistakes, and when faced with failures, they attribute them to some external circumstances. They consider their own opinion to be the only correct one, while more often than others they are prone to conflicts, as a result of which there is complete misunderstanding in their relationships.

Psychologists most often talk about self-confidence in a negative way. It can cause failure in many areas of life, since, as it develops, it prevents the individual from perceiving the real relationship between problems and internal forces, disrupts the adequacy of thinking, and affects self-esteem. Of course, such a scenario cannot be ruled out when such a belief is beneficial, but this is too dangerous an extreme. In addition, it has a negative impact on personality development. Self-confident people do not take mistakes personally, therefore, they are not able to analyze them, accept them as experience and not make them again in the future. For them, mistakes are something too natural, the result of exclusively external conditions and combinations of circumstances, a failure.

In some cases, self-confidence poses a real threat to the individual. In particular, when problems relate to financial issues or health. We are talking about self-medication, which rarely leads to a truly positive outcome.

The distinctive feature of self-confidence is that it does not have any basis. Self-confidence is based on an objective assessment of capabilities and potential, which are supported by past successful experience.

They learn from their mistakes and are able to solve complex problems

For some reason, we believe that oppressive and self-centered people who never admit their mistakes have high self-esteem. However, it is not. In fact, those who truly value and respect themselves accept both their strengths and weaknesses. They do not need to pretend to be perfect, and they are able to admit their mistakes and not be afraid of constructive criticism.

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

People with high self-esteem simply understand that failure is a part of life and there is no need to be afraid of it. They learn from their mistakes, and even if they fall, they get up and move on with new strength and new experience. Their self-esteem allows them to accept challenges, because this is the only way to achieve their goal. Therefore, even if they fail, they will learn valuable lessons, which means everything was not in vain.

Self-confidence and confidence

In psychology, there is a fairly clear distinction between self-confidence and confidence of any individual. The paradox is that the appearance of self-confidence is the first and practically the main sign of an individual’s lack of confidence in his abilities. That is, it excludes true self-confidence. Such people tend to hide their shortcomings and complexes even from themselves, hiding behind feigned courage. They are characterized by ostentatious and mannered calmness, a tendency to bravado and boasting, at the same time, excessive aggression and irritability are noted.

Of course, all such traits are formed in childhood, and their adequacy depends on upbringing. A person who is incorrectly brought up with regard to self-esteem and confidence grows up to be quite closed, angry, and quite fussy. It is precisely such people who in the future tend to hide under the mask of self-confidence, since they do not want to demonstrate their real “appearance”. At the same time, they are also characterized by incorrect ambitions. They hide their fear or even complexes under the constant desire to dominate everywhere and occupy a dominant position. They are overly fond of the non-existent image of the “ideal self” they have created, and often go into conflict when they encounter disagreement with their opinion.

As for a self-confident individual, he is in harmony with his real “I”. Such a person independently accepts shortcomings and advantages and is able to correct them. He is not prone to hypocrisy, unlike a self-confident person, he is open to the people around him and, in turn, accepts them as they are in life.

So we come to the conclusion that overconfidence is something bad. There is no need to resort to extremes, because even our negative traits can play a certain positive role depending on the situation. You shouldn’t completely eradicate your shortcomings; it’s better to control them or even use them at the right moment.

Self-confidence can be used by adhering to expressed politeness in conversation, but not provoking conflicts, but resolving them and mitigating circumstances. Think as little as possible about how you appear in the eyes of others; direct your energy to thinking about your real affairs. It's good to be confident, but don't forget to control your behavior!

Psychologists provide a number of tips with which you can not only develop your sense of confidence at the right time, but also learn to keep it under control:

Sources used:

• https://vplate.ru/samoocenka/samouverennost/
• https://thedifference.ru/chem-otlichaetsya-samouverennost-ot-uverennosti/
• https://pristor.ru/v-chem-raznica-mezhdu-uverennostyu-i-samouverennostyu-psixologiya/
• https://mind-control.ru/lichnost-i-obshhestvo/chem-otlichaetsya-samouverennost-ot-uverennosti/
• https://psytheater.com/samouverennost.html

Confident personality

Adequate confidence is formed on the basis of experience and knowledge. A man who has repaired his car more than once knows which part has failed and how to replace it. A woman who has raised more than one child develops her own parenting strategy and knows how to raise an unintelligent child. The path to confident actions lies through mistakes, bumps, successes and failures. It is impossible to be sure of everything. Every new situation provokes a lot of doubts and uncertainty. A person unconsciously feels like a beginner who does not know how to act, but wants to gain new experience. After mastering the theory (knowledge) and studying it in practice (experience), a feeling of confidence arises, which is reinforced by competence. The wider the area of ​​knowledge and experience, the more confident the person appears as a whole. Such a person is respected in his circle and masters new branches of knowledge.

Self-confident personality

Self-confident actions often resemble the steps of a confident person. There are no doubts at all, the result is achieved and “the people applaud” the brave deeds. What is the difference then? The answer is quite banal. A man who knows how to repair a certain brand of car believes that he can fix any car. A woman who has raised her child thinks that she can raise any child no worse than her own. The scale of the experience gained is so great that the individual does not notice the uniqueness and originality of the world. A self-confident person unconsciously tries to jump over all the steps of the ladder and instantly reach the top. These actions may cause admiration, but the situation changes dramatically when faced with real obstacles. Then the entire experience is devalued and a radical change in activity occurs, or glasses (pink or black) are put on and the person continues to smash his head against the wall. The reason for the emergence of self-confidence is the fear of new experiences. In any new situation, a person is forced to take the position of a student, which affects the self-esteem of a self-confident person. As a result, life flows in the illusion of omnipotence.

When does the transformation of confidence into self-confidence occur?

Self-confidence arises from negative experiences when mistakes made were subject to excessive criticism in childhood. One child will experience a feeling of shame and become insecure, the other will turn a blind eye to the words of adults and become self-confident. Confidence is cultivated through reasoned criticism with practical advice. Any inexperienced student hopes that the teacher believes in him.