The age difference is not yet an obstacle to building strong romantic relationships and starting a family. Unions where one spouse is 15 years younger than the other are no longer uncommon today. If previously only men were awarded this privilege, now women have followed their example - more and more often, beautiful mature women can be seen with younger companions.
In this article we will tell you what difficulties can arise in a relationship between a man and a woman if one of them is 15 years younger, how you should behave with a mature or vice versa younger man, and what the prospects for the development of such relationships are.
What to expect from a man who is 15 years older than you
Of course, all men, like women, are different, and judging everyone strictly according to the same criteria would be a mistake. Therefore, we will consider men according to three main types. Representatives of the stronger sex of mature age can be divided into confirmed bachelors, ladies' men and those who have personally experienced all the “delights” of the age crisis. Relationships with each of the presented types of men will have their own characteristics - both negative and positive.
Relationship with a confirmed bachelor
This type includes those men who only at the age of 40-45-50 decided to tie themselves into previously frightening marital ties, because they realized the horror of loneliness and were afraid of the prospect of growing old without having built a family. Waking up one day in their empty bachelor apartment, devoid of home comfort, they suddenly realize that it is time for them to look for a wife and have children.
Such a man, previously unencumbered by caring for his family and its well-being, as a rule, became successful in his professional activities, provided for himself financially for several years to come, and perhaps even acquired his own home. Previously, he believed that a family would only complicate his life and prevent him from realizing his ambitions, but now he feels confident and, accordingly, is ready to take full responsibility for his wife and children.
An alliance with an “old” bachelor is very favorable for two main reasons. Firstly, he has already accumulated a wealth of life experience, has become much wiser in life’s issues, so he will not provoke conflicts and assert himself by sorting out relationships. He has only serious intentions regarding the woman or girl he likes - he already considers her as the mother of his future heirs.
Secondly, he is mature for children and will be a wonderful, caring father who takes part in the child’s life. This factor can be both a plus and, unfortunately, a minus for a woman. It all depends on whether she is ready to have children. Here, the age of the woman herself does not matter - for some, the maternal instinct awakens only in adulthood, while others, even at the age of 18, are already burning with the desire to become a mother.
Relationship with a womanizer
He understands women, because behind him, as a rule, there are many novels and even several marriages. He is far from a beginner in family relationships - he knows how to behave with a woman, how to please her, how to cheer her up, what gifts should be given, and will not forget to call and warn when he is late for a long time. His previous wives taught him a lot.
But, in addition to a huge number of advantages, there are also negative sides. Since he had many women, he, of course, has something and someone to compare with. He is used to variety, so in terms of relationships he is very spoiled. His new chosen one must combine the advantages of all those women who came before her, otherwise she also risks becoming his ex. This is quite a difficult test for a woman. If you fall in love with a man older than you, and even a womanizer, then be prepared for the fact that he probably has children from previous marriages, so he will never belong to you completely.
Relationship with a married man
At a certain age, any man comes to a turning point when he begins to analyze his life - what has been done, what has not been done, what will happen next - and for some, such introspection does not pass without a trace and without consequences: it is about such representatives of the stronger sex that they say “ the demon hit me in the rib.”
The classic version: a man married quite early, most likely to someone the same age, this was about 20 years ago, the wife was completely immersed in the life of the children, often depriving him of attention and not admiring him as a man. At this point, the well-known middle-age crisis occurs. A man begins to pay attention to young women, and he starts an affair with one of them, which helps him feel young and attractive again.
Young girls who decide to have a relationship with a married man, as a rule, have great and unrealizable illusions about him. In most cases, a man will simply amuse his vanity and continue to live with his wife, because he feels sorry for crossing out so many years of his life. Even if he decides to get a divorce, which will certainly not be easy for everyone, with conflicts, showdowns, division of property and other unpleasant consequences, then this is not a guarantee of the desired happiness.
A young lover who dreams of being a wife, having achieved her goal, is often disappointed, because an affair with infrequent meetings and living together are completely different things. The romance of secret meetings disappears, a number of responsibilities appear (washing, cooking, etc.) - and now you are the same wife, only a decade and a half younger. Disappointment can befall not only you, but also the man, which will further shake such a relationship. There is also a possibility that everything will turn out well, because some spouses separate peacefully, without complaints against each other, and past relationships become a springboard for building a new strong family.
Pros and cons of dating a mature man
The development of relationships between a man and a woman depends not only on their interests, the environment in which they were brought up, the upbringing itself, the environment, attitudes towards the opposite sex, life goals and ideals, but also on age. The age difference leaves its mark on relationships, whether we like it or not, and its impact can be both positive and negative. We invite you to understand all the pros and cons of an alliance with a man who is fifteen years older than you.
Advantages
It should be noted that there are actually many positive aspects in a relationship with a mature man, because a man, as we know, “grows up” much later than a woman, so the difference even of 15 years, if we take into account the peculiarities of the psychological development of representatives of the stronger sex, is not so great .
- Seriousness of intentions
An adult man, as a rule, already clearly knows what he wants. The riot of hormones is long gone, so in a woman he now values not so much external attractiveness as her inner world. If he is interested in you, it means that you stand out from your peers in some way besides your appearance - you are wiser than them, you are more interesting to communicate with, you are fun to be with, you share his interests, etc.
Such a man will not get involved in a showdown, zealously proving that he is right - he prefers meaningful conversations in which the opinion of each partner is taken into account. He will not leave after a quarrel, slamming the door, because he is not 20 years old; he would prefer to settle differences peacefully. But he expects exactly the same attitude from his chosen one. A relationship with a mature man has prospects - if you are interested in him, then you can rest assured that his intentions are serious.
- Material stability
Even if you do not pursue mercantile goals in a relationship with a mature man, his financial security will in any case be a plus. You can do what you really like in life, which in addition to income also brings pleasure, and this will have a very positive effect on your relationships. You can do something for yourself, for example, get another higher education, enroll in some courses, etc.
In addition, you will have more time for your lover and children. A man who is financially secure is a reliable support and support for a woman, and this is very important in family relationships. After all, most of the problems that young couples face are predominantly financial in nature.
- Wisdom, tolerance and respect
Young people, unfortunately, are able to show responsibility and be purposeful, as a rule, only in those areas that are related to their career and personal growth. In love relationships, they tend to show stubbornness and impatience. That is why for many young girls the age difference is more of a plus than a minus - with a mature man they feel needed and protected.
It is sometimes easier to find a common language with a mature man, because he is ready to listen to you and try to take your place. Of course, quarrels are possible in any couple; no one is immune from this, regardless of age. But still, they will happen much less frequently and with less destructive consequences for the relationship.
- Help with personal growth
If a man is several years older than you, then he is, accordingly, wiser - you, without noticing it, will be drawn to him. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb “whoever you mess with...”. This will contribute to your personal development and improvement - you will become wiser, more tolerant, more restrained. Plus, a mature man can always help with advice in professional matters and contribute to the development of your career or business.
Flaws
Of course, such an age difference cannot pass without a trace, without leaving a negative imprint on your relationship. But this should be taken calmly, there is nothing to worry about, because some shortcomings can be found in any relationship, not only with a mature man, but also with a peer.
- Jealousy
Of course, jealousy is common to many men, regardless of age, but in the case when a woman is dating an older man, this problem is especially relevant. Despite the fact that the man has already established himself both professionally and financially, and seems to be confident in himself, the feeling of jealousy is not alien to him. He worries, even if he doesn’t show it, that his young lover will leave for someone his own age. He may have doubts about your constancy, because he was once young and can put himself in your place. In some cases, his suspicions may develop into paranoia with its inherent prohibitions and excessive control.
- Reproaches
The age difference, when a man is much older than his chosen one, often gives rise to various kinds of reproaches on his part. Of course, this is not a common feature of all mature men, but some still have it - they believe that by providing a woman financially and helping her, for example, in business or career, they can remind her of this during a quarrel or bring it up as a argument in a dispute.
- Former family
Having decided to have a relationship with a man who is 15 years older than you, you must be prepared for the fact that he had a serious relationship before you, a family, and in addition, he probably has children who connect him with those past relationships. It’s good if the ex-spouses separated peacefully and wish each other only happiness, but this does not happen in all families. Finding out your relationship with your ex-wife can have a negative impact on your relationship. Children also do not always support a father who has decided to build a new family, especially with a young woman.
What if it's love?
If a woman is 15 years older than a man, can their romance last forever? Theoretically, this is quite possible. But practically, it’s unlikely. Why? Love and family always come first for a woman. And for a man, the main thing is a comfortable existence and successful self-development. Men receive less pleasure from love. Sex is really important for them, but feelings are secondary. Men can love one woman all their lives if she can provide him with a comfortable existence and will arrange surprises from time to time. Is an older lady capable of this? Quite. But soon the lady will lose her physical attractiveness, and as you know, men love with their eyes.
There are many examples of couples in which the husband is 15 years older than the wife and people are happy together. But this is an exception to the rule. Have you met a handsome and intelligent young man who treats you with special attention? It is not surprising that a girl would fall in love with such an ideal gentleman. But you shouldn’t put on rose-colored glasses and immediately walk down the aisle with the person. Take a closer look at your older friend. If you really understand that this is a soul mate, then don't listen to anyone, listen to your heart and common sense. If they prompt you to connect your destiny with the person you have chosen, then age will not be an obstacle to happiness and a pleasant family life.
How to behave with a man if he is 15 years older
15 years is a significant difference. Of course, it doesn't always feel the same. For example, if you are 25 and your chosen one is 40, then this age gap seems very large, but when you, for example, are 40 and he is 55, then it becomes not so noticeable. In any case, this distance will always be present between you, so it is important to know how to behave correctly in order to maintain such a relationship.
- Don't make him jealous
The younger you are, the more attention the representatives of the stronger sex pay to you - this fact is unlikely to provoke jealousy for a mature man; on the contrary, he will be pleased to have such an attractive young woman next to him. But if you begin to reciprocate the attentions shown to you, and flirt with other men, even as a joke, to stroke your pride, then this will make him jealous. He will begin to compare himself with younger men, and this comparison may not always be in his favor.
- Don't try to fix a man
Even at the age of 30, it is almost impossible to re-educate a man, and even more so at 40 or more. He has already formed his own system of views, interests and values, so all your attempts, at best, will lead to nothing, and at worst, they will push your loved one away from you. It is better for you to discuss your views on life and goals in advance. It only makes sense to continue such a relationship if you want the same thing.
- Do not interfere with communication with children from a previous marriage
If a woman can become an ex, then children can never; they remain part of a man's life. Don’t limit their communication, don’t try to quarrel between them - it’s better to try to improve your relationship with his children, no matter how old they are. Congratulate them on the holidays, invite them to visit, take an interest in their life. Drawing attention to yourself will only worsen your relationship with your lover.
- Try to match your chosen one
You should give up frivolous youth outfits that excessively expose your body, so the age difference will be less noticeable to others and your lover will have fewer reasons for jealousy. If he prefers to wear stylish, expensive things, then it won’t hurt you to reconsider your wardrobe. Leave provocative makeup in the past too. Don’t be afraid that a stylish, discreet look will make you look older; on the contrary, it will highlight your natural beauty and make you more feminine.
- Develop yourself
As we have already said, mature men value a woman’s inner world. Therefore, try to develop in areas that interest you, read more, take an interest in events happening in the world, as well as areas that are interesting to your chosen one. Frivolous young ladies who have nothing but their appearance are unlikely to interest a serious mature man for long. In addition, the age difference manifests itself not only externally, but also in terms of outlook on life. If you develop and work on yourself, then you will have much more in common with your lover.
- Listen to his advice
No matter how old a man is, he wants to feel needed by the woman he loves. If you listen to his opinion, then it will be very valuable and pleasant for him, and useful for you, because he is not only older than you, but also wiser. Let him solve your problems and help with advice - this will have a positive effect on your relationship with him.
Why do women love older men?
The reasons for this predilection among women lie in the benefits that older men can provide. Modern young girls dream of a beautiful life. A man 15 years older? Most likely, he already has some experience, has established himself as a “breadwinner”, has built a career and can help make many dreams come true! The gentleman will buy beautiful outfits, take you to restaurants and movies. The lady will be able to develop her creative potential and separate from her parents. The girl will move in with her lover and have complete freedom of action. In this situation, the lady wins a lot and loses nothing. Yes, she pays for all the services provided to her with her body, but not many ladies perceive such payment as prostitution.
Older men can not only give a girl a lot, but can also help her develop and become a better person. They say whoever you hang out with, that's how you'll gain. Young girls, often arriving in the company of their boyfriend, willy-nilly listen to conversations conducted by their lover’s smart friends. And in order not to look very stupid, the girl has to work on herself, read a lot and study previously unnecessary information. Such self-development shapes a girl as an intelligent and intelligent person.
Relationship with a man who is 15 years younger
Unions of mature men with young women have long become a given and do not cause violent condemnation from the public. Someone might call your couple “father and daughter,” but nothing more. But if a woman dates a man younger than herself, especially when the age difference is more than ten years, then the situation is completely different - such a union is condemned not only by society, but often by close people.
What is the reason for this injustice? Why, if a woman at 40-50 years old still looks young and attractive, can’t she start a romantic relationship with a younger man? All these are prejudices, and nothing more. Of course, women are more vulnerable in this regard. Firstly, many young people are interested in mature women only for their material well-being, and secondly, women age much faster than men, so the risk that a young lover will find a younger chosen one in the future is also great.
How will your parents and friends react?
When a man is 15 years older, the girl doesn’t really want to introduce her boyfriend to her parents. Why? The older generation can rarely adequately perceive the liberties of modern society. Some might say that even in ancient times, young ladies were married to people twice their age. But in modern society this approach to marriage is condemned. Parents will treat their daughter's boyfriend poorly if he is not her age. They will believe that the man is using their daughter to satisfy his sexual desire. Even if it is a half-truth, few parents will listen to the explanations of a grown man.
The lady's friends will also judge her relationship. A gentleman who is 15 years older than a woman will not be able, and will not want, to maintain friendship with his beloved’s friends. He will avoid youth parties in every possible way, as they will seem too boring to the person.
