What is mercy - 6 tips on how to show mercy to others

Mercy occupies an important place in the hearts of people, in human culture, religion, morality, society, and in the belief system. On the one hand, it is obvious to everyone how mercy manifests itself and what it means, but to really bring it to life and understand its full depth is not at all easy. This quality gives a certain distinction between good and evil, defines a person and what under the auspices of which all life will pass. The presence or absence of mercy in life will determine whether a person is capable of truly loving or not, because love is very rarely selective. The ability to love either exists or it doesn’t.

And if you greet only your brothers, what special thing are you doing? Don't the pagans do the same?

Matthew 5:47

What is mercy

Mercy is a personality trait that manifests itself in an internal readiness to help, forgive and compassion, without selfishness, but guided only by selfless motives. Manifestations of mercy are found in both material charity and spiritual gifts, such as support or understanding of a person's prejudicial actions.

This quality is not available to everyone in its effective manifestations, especially with the development of the technological part of the world, when one is always in the virtual space and one cannot experience someone else’s misfortune in one’s own skin. This always requires not only putting aside your own problems and worries, but also finding time to devote to someone else. The concept of mercy necessarily includes the active manifestation of expressed feelings; it can also be expressed only in deeds, but is rarely expressed only in verbal form.

When exploring what mercy is and how to distinguish it from other spiritually approved qualities, one should pay attention not only to the desire to help or empathic compassion, but also to the absence of internal criticism towards the person being helped. That is, one who acts from these motives will not at the same time teach or criticize others, point out their mistakes or show them the right path. Rather, there is a sense that the person in need is innocent, remorseful, or has done nothing malicious, and there is no condemnation as such.

In mercy there is always some kind of sacrifice, i.e. when a person gives some money to a beggar who has millions, this is not mercy, but the same act of a person counting pennies to survive can be called mercy. Where there is a lot of free time and nowhere to spend it, and this person decides to take part in charity events, there is only a desire to have fun, certainly aimed at a noble cause. A completely different situation is when a person goes to help at a shelter after twelve hours of his own work, sacrificing normal sleep, lunch and rest. The desire to help not only oneself, but also others, the strength of spirit that allows you to understand that, although you yourself are in need, from this state you can help others - this is the true manifestation of mercy.

There is no material benefit in showing mercy, but, first of all, there is a moral benefit, which manifests itself in the desire to receive gratitude or praise from others. There is no selfishness in him, which can manifest itself in doing good deeds for the sake of his own reputation, feeding his own ego or inflating his personal importance. But this always brings peace and goodness to the soul of the one who acts mercifully, because he simply does not have the moral capacity to act otherwise. Additionally, someone who is merciful has a unique opportunity to be less evil because they have no judgment for others and no idea of ​​how others should behave. It is accepting the world as it is, with its negative aspects and the personal opportunity to improve them. The more of these manifestations, the easier communication becomes at all levels, the simpler relationships become, and as a result, a person receives help without expecting it. This is a very important point: a person continues to receive it precisely because he helps others, and not for his own benefit. And the one who does good, hoping that in any situation everyone will rush to his aid, most often remains alone, because the motive was initially selfishness.

Benevolence is not innate and can only be acquired in a society, in a certain direction, where kindness, forbearance, selflessness and the desire to help others are instilled from an early age. In every group there is a desire to help each other, even among animals, but there it is dictated by the biological need to stick together, which helps the herd to survive. In such cases, if a person commits an offense, he may be punished or expelled, while mercy may act to the detriment of others, contrary to the instinct of self-preservation, but for the benefit of another.

In general, this trait is considered positive and spiritual, but it may be frowned upon by others in society in situations where they believe that the person who has stumbled does not deserve help or support. This may be due to stupidity or naivety, undeserved respect or shortsightedness, but in any of these cases there is no humane attitude towards others, only fear and a desire for one's own safety or gain.

In religious denominations of different levels, showing mercy is considered as one of the spiritual practices that demonstrates not only love for a specific person, but also for the deity through caring for his creation. Therefore, in religious circles such acts of self-denial are always perceived favorably, and in the most striking versions they are even canonized.


Mercy is a manifestation of selfless help and also the highest spiritual characteristic of a person

Is mercy a quality or a feeling?

True mercy comes from compassion, or the ability to feel the suffering of another living being (empathy). When a person tries to help another not because he read about it in a wise book, but because he literally physically feels the pain of another person - this is mercy. So, mercy is a feeling that pushes a person to help someone who is suffering.

On the other hand, mercy is also a human trait. After all, if a person has this feeling of compassion and the desire to help, then mercy becomes a constant feature of such a person, without which he cannot imagine life. For such a person, love, kindness and the desire to help others become as natural as the process of breathing. And just as a person cannot live without breathing, so a merciful person cannot remain indifferent to the fate of others.

Perhaps helping one's neighbor can be compared to the process of breathing, without which the life of a rational being is impossible. Carl Gustav Jung wrote about the collective unconscious; simply put, he hypothesized that on a subtle level we are all connected by a single consciousness. Like mushrooms, which on the surface of the earth seem to be scattered over long distances, but underground are connected by a single root system. And if we understand that we are closely connected with everyone around us, then helping others becomes as natural to us as helping ourselves.

What is the difference between mercy and kindness?

Kindness is closely related to many high and bright feelings, one of which is goodwill. What is the difference between kindness and mercy, what do they have in common? At first glance, they are very similar: unconsciously, you can even confuse them with each other, calling them by name. In essence, both are qualities of the soul; The goal of both is to be useful to others. But there is one caveat.

Charity is the practical realization of innate goodness. Unfortunately, not all friendly people are ready to help someone - they can simply sympathize and pass by. There are many kind people, but much fewer who are merciful (willing to act).

Mercy cannot exist without kindness. That is, to be truly merciful, a person must be initially kind. But not just friendly, but active, that is, ready to actively help others, and not just “look at them with kindness in his eyes.”

If a person does not have kindness, then all his “good” deeds are just theatrical actions a la “look how good I am.” This is the same selfishness: good deeds are done for personal gain - to prove to everyone their superiority and “holiness”. Have you ever wondered why philanthropists are necessarily “piggy banks”?

Therefore, do not be lazy to ask yourself again: “Who do I want to do this for? For yourself or for someone else? The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and not get carried away. There is nothing wrong with recognizing your own interest in your actions.

We are all ordinary people, and low feelings are not alien to us. By recognizing this, you get a chance to improve yourself, grow spiritually, become more perfect. By hiding the “dark spots of the soul,” a person will never be able to whiten them.

Differences from compassion

Compassion is accepting someone's sadness and sharing it, wanting to help. People with compassion choose to act. It is more useful to give a beggar a piece of bread than to mourn his unfortunate fate.

What is the difference between mercy in Christianity and society

Charity in society is understood as performing selfless good deeds and helping all those in need.

In religion, this quality takes on a slightly different meaning. For a believer, caring for one's neighbor is a manifestation of love for the Almighty. It is shown to the human soul and body.

Carnal mercyCorporal mercy
Guide the sinner to the right path to prevent further mistakesGive food to the hungry
Teach a lesson of mercy if the person is ignorant.Give water to someone who is thirsty
Give advice to a person who finds himself in a difficult situationGive clothes to a naked man
Comfort a person who is sadVisit a sick person
Don't return evil for evilVisiting prisoners
Forgive villainsGive shelter to those who have no home
Pray for strangers and people you knowBury the dead when no one else can

Differences between the concept of mercy in religion and society

Why does a person need mercy?

What will happen to humanity if each of us starts thinking only about ourselves? How long would a civilization consisting of equally selfish and self-centered people last? In the pursuit of profit, self-interest and pleasure, people will increasingly harden their hearts, lose moral values ​​and humanity.

To survive, we will have to start destroying each other by starting wars. The consequences are obvious: at best, we can descend to barbaric times, where human life is not worth a penny. In the worst case, people will kill each other and disappear from the face of the earth. That's not a bad prospect, isn't it?

Selfishness gives rise to suffering, mercy is always joy. “Fill your hearts with each other.

One good deed makes at least two people happy: the one who did it and the one who received it. The latter, if he is not an egoist, will also want to be useful to someone else and thereby help the next person.


Mercy is a practical manifestation of such a trait as kindness

Why is mercy important?

Why is it important to show mercy? It should be noted here that the motive for showing mercy, of course, should not be the thought of pardon. The point here is that mercy is our true nature, and whoever does not resist it is on the right path and will therefore be pardoned.

Conditions of almsgiving:

  1. An external state, when a person gives alms according to some tradition, according to custom, he is driven by certain external factors. Today many of us do this - when we go to church, we give money to the poor, because “everyone gives.”
  2. The internal state is the heart, which is the basis of almsgiving. This is its inner side, and is, in fact, alms itself. Without this, alms are not acceptable. There must be some pity of the heart, mercy, tenderness, a desire to help the person. If this is not the case, you need to set yourself up for it.
  3. We can also note mercy towards the dead. All Orthodox Christians know that this is a prayer for them. Also: donating to the temple (on eve or parastas), giving alms for the deceased, caring for the cemetery, helping the remaining relatives of the deceased (family, children). The Lord says: “He who has mercy on the widow and the orphan is dear to Me.” Because the person who does this, firstly, honors the memory of the deceased, and secondly, helps the deceased with that help, which, in addition to prayerful remembrance, is the most important for him. Because he was responsible for his family before God; he would like them to be well-fed, shod, clothed and not sick.

Grace and mercy are virtues against: anger, love of money, love of money, greed, stinginess, hoarding, selfishness, selfishness, self-centeredness, hardness of heart.

False and true mercy

In the modern world it is difficult to find examples of true mercy. Often noble deeds are performed in anticipation of reciprocal gratitude. Less often - out of fear.

Some people believe that if they can help those in need, they can help themselves. Others are afraid to say “no”, for example, to their boss, so they comply with all his requests. This is kindness for the sake of kindness. Showing mercy in a sincere form is not tolerated.

Unfortunately, false charity often comes from celebrities, actors, musicians, and politicians. When a person performs good deeds demonstratively, they are no longer such.

The influence of alms on human nature

The Holy Fathers say the following:

  1. Mercy heals passions and vices, displaces them, drives them out (first of all, the passion of love of money dies from mercy).
  2. Mercy drives out the passion of the love of money, because these are two antipodes. Two opposite points that can never be together. Either love of money is in our hearts, or mercy. One drives out the other.
  3. Almsgiving cleanses sin, says Proverbs. And the prophet Daniel says that alms cleanses human iniquities. Remember the covenants of our Fathers, when a person turns from sin to virtue, the first thing they say to him is “do alms, so that the Lord will forgive you your sins.” Those. bow the Mercy of God to yourself by doing alms and good deeds.

Examples of mercy

An abstract description of the quality of a human personality is not always clear without giving examples from life. Examples from the side of faith can be examples of instruction not only in the context of following instructions or worshiping gods, but also getting rid of ignorance and illusions. Sometimes a simple conversation explaining how everything works in this world helped people much more than punishments and standard calls to believe in a higher power. Priests who allowed themselves to be angry, but who conscientiously and out of compassion and mercy treated sinners like careless children, continuing to help and instruct them despite their mistakes, are examples of selfless caring.

A similar thing happens outside of confessions, when human error is corrected by a good lesson, personal example or enlightenment. This is how parents teach their children, ordinary passers-by show what kindness is, and teachers, passing on new knowledge, eliminate the possibility of mistakes due to ignorance.

Mercy is expressed in words of comfort to those who are confused or suffering from the events that have occurred - the ability to find the right words to help a person find the strength to regain faith. This is faith in the strength of a fallen person, in his ability to rise from his knees and continue on his way without additional help or crutches. This is how people who have experienced trauma do not become disabled and have difficulty developing their abilities, this is how hope appears for those who have lost loved ones, and they begin to work for the benefit of the main ideas.

Inner work is mercy. When a person sincerely forgives someone for wrongs caused, sometimes to himself, without even saying it to his face, or when he prays for someone who has done something wrong or is in a difficult situation. These are moments when no one except the most compassionate person knows what is going on inside him, but it has implications for subsequent interactions. But mercy is not only the right words or inner work, it is also the performance or failure to perform certain actions. Not to do is not to respond with evil to evil, but to see the reasons for such behavior (often people are cruel because of their own pain, they cause pain because they themselves were offended). The less rudeness responds to rudeness, the less of it there will be on earth.

Compassionate action includes practical help where it is needed. You can feed a hungry person instead of giving him money (he may be asked for alcohol), or give water to a thirsty person. Simple things that support vital functions are very important. When a person remembers the homeless and gives them his clothes instead of throwing them away, or when he gives away an item that he would wear himself anyway, but realizes that he has two pairs of shirts and gives one to a person in need.

Giving shelter to a stranger, giving a ride to a constituent on the highway, visiting a sick person, a prisoner with limited mobility - all these things are more important than multi-thousand dollar charitable donations because they are associated with specific situations and specific people.


Mercy and kindness are one of the components of raising a child.

Sample 5

Mercy, compassion, kindness... Wonderful words, aren't they?

Indeed, who among us would not want to live among people whose hearts radiate these irreplaceable moral qualities!

What is mercy? I have thought about this question more than once and come to certain conclusions. In my opinion, mercy is the ability to support a person who is faced with difficult life circumstances. This is the willingness to sacrifice something important for the convenience and benefit of another person.

The meaning of the term “mercy” explains the very composition of the word, which is based on the phrase “sweet heart”. A person with such a heart will never pass by someone else’s grief, because for him there is no such thing as someone else’s misfortune.

The problem of mercy has always been the focus of literature. Such eminent writers as Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Turgenev, Chekhov turned to her... A. I. Kuprin also paid great attention to her. In his wonderful story "The Wonderful Doctor" he shows the miraculous power of mercy.

It is impossible to read the pages describing the mental state of the head of the family without pain. Having lost his job, Mertsalov loses the meaning of life. There are hungry children at home, one of whom is very sick. The spouses do not have money for treatment. Job searches are not yielding any results. There is nowhere to wait for help. Unable to change anything, Mertsalov decides to commit suicide.

A chance meeting with a doctor became a salvation from death for a man and saved his family from hunger and poverty. The doctor turned out to be a very sympathetic, kind and wise person. Having learned about the difficult situation in which the family of his new acquaintance is, Pirogov goes with the head of the family to examine the sick child. His help was not limited to writing a prescription. Along with the prescription, the doctor puts money for both the medicine and necessary expenses.

Reading about such people, you involuntarily think: “A world without good is like a treasury without silver.”

Can human society survive without compassion and responsiveness? The answer is obvious. Mercy is something without which we cannot imagine our lives. It is the willingness to help, the ability to sympathize that makes us human. I think that without mercy the world will become poorer.

The Problem of Mercy

Philanthropy is increasingly controversial in terms of its impact on the global development of society. Spiritually oriented people, regardless of religion or lack thereof, argue that it is a feature that preserves something human and gives opportunity to all people. This is a kind of marker of what distinguishes us all from animals, and the more merciful a person is, the closer he is to the spiritual world, where transformations of consciousness are possible.

But there are also many features, for example, the problem of mercy towards criminals, when the human soul is divided in its impulses. To punish is merciless, such a prerogative belongs only to the higher mind and conscience of a person, but, unfortunately, every system (and society is a system) requires strict adherence to the rules for its existence. One of the ways to comply with these principles is fair punishment, which is most clearly visible in the system of judicial legislation.

These and other issues can be resolved not only by clearly establishing rules and blindly following them, but also by following the principle of treating others from the perspective of how you yourself would like to be treated. This applies in the real world when a person repents or reforms and receives amnesty. In the same way, this applies when parents punish a child, but not for cruelty, but out of concern for him and timely understanding when to stop before such care causes serious trauma to the psychological sphere of the individual.

Mercy for the sake of justice cannot be excluded, because this quality allows us to build a humane world and harmonious relationships at the individual level. This is a quality that will help a person in difficult times, because everyone makes mistakes or commits unseemly acts out of ignorance or knowingly, and then regrets.

Exclusive justice without the participation of the heart, love, condescension is always equal to cruelty, because what can be explained logically is not always what can be explained from the point of view of feelings. In addition to help and opportunities for development, a person in need is able to treat others with compassion because he has learned from his own experience how important it is. Thus, a humanitarian strategy of behavior can spread among people, minimizing the use of force, anger, war and other negative and psychologically destructive manifestations. The principle of self-interest only works in the beginning until long-term consequences occur when people become alienated, trust disappears and justice, devoid of compassion, returns.

Understanding the need for such actions, many try to show false mercy by providing assistance that is more like payment. When it is easier to send money than to come to a person who needs not treatment, but communication, or when they feed hungry animals with excess of their own food, and not in a situation of their own deprivation. Mercy should not be manifested precisely through one’s own suffering, but the problem of modernity is the pursuit of spirituality and its imaginary presence - everyone tries to show it for encouragement or acceptance in circles, some are flattered by it, and some do it out of a sense of duty. This is also not a problem of charity as a category, but as a way of its manifestation, the possibility of sincerity and genuine participation of the soul.

Mercy is the language of humanism

Mercy is a benevolent attitude that treats all living beings equally at any given time. This quality is spiritual in nature, as it comes from seeing both oneself and other people as souls, not bodies. Realizing that all living beings are equal in their essence, it becomes obvious that there is no reason to be prejudiced, intolerant, radical, fanatical or negative towards anyone. Mercy brings liberation from a large amount of suffering both to the most merciful person and to those towards whom such mercy was shown. The achievement of mercy is an important stage of the spiritual path, which indicates correct development, and the absence of such indicates either incorrect progress or its absence. You can achieve mercy by realizing yourself and all living beings as eternal souls. This is not easy to do, but as you know, happiness is achieved through hard work. Good luck.

How to find the line between mercy and convenience for others

Merciful people are ready to provide help, but some of those around them use it brazenly, crossing the boundaries of what is permitted. How to protect yourself from such people?

  1. Learn to say “no” when you cannot help or when a person is asked to do something unpleasant (men are known to feel sorry for women and persuade them to have intimate relationships).
  2. Fight the feeling of embarrassment and shame if someone had to refuse a request. For example, a person may simply not have the money to pay for groceries for a pensioner.
  3. Do not do good deeds “just not to offend.”
  4. Do not allow free use of knowledge and professional opportunities. It’s one thing to help the grandmother across the street, and another to write a paper for free for a classmate because he “really needs it.”
  5. Give up the "if I don't do something, people will stop talking to me" mentality. Let them stop. Then they did it only for personal gain, and no one needs such friends.

The main goal of our site is to make people's lives more pleasant and joyful, and for this it is important to organically demonstrate each quality, without detriment to ourselves and people. Have you ever met people who take advantage of your kindness?

Pay attention to the sayings of St. Macarius of Optina:

The quality of almsgiving is a heart that burns with love for every creature and desires its good. Almsgiving does not consist in alms alone, but in compassion, when we see a created person akin to us in some kind of suffering and, if we can help him in any way, we help. This almsgiving is only giving without embarrassment and trial - to give at least a little, but with good will and hope

Venerable Macarius

One should not go into debt for the sake of alms. In church history, it is nowhere to be seen that any of the exemplary alms-lovers would bind themselves to debt for the sake of alms. Moreover, it is necessary to keep in mind the circumstances of your own family, so as not to bring it to an extreme situation with unfounded and thoughtless generosity...

Venerable Macarius

Contradictions that prevent people from being merciful

We increasingly hear about concepts such as tolerance, freedom of choice, human dignity and individual rights. We are called to be tolerant and open-minded people. At the same time, a number of conflicts arise:

  1. When we help and show mercy, do we not humiliate the personal dignity of the person in need, do we not thereby create inequality, which further leads to discrimination?
  2. When helping our neighbor, do we understand his desires well? Perhaps their concept of goodness is fundamentally different from ours. Are we imposing our own values ​​and ideals?
  3. In the broadest sense of the word, mercy means active participation in the life of another person. In essence, it is an eternal service to the people around us. The question arises, do they need this service? Sometimes finding yourself requires patience, persistence and willpower.

All these and other contradictions can be confusing. For some, these statements become seeds of doubt. People begin to believe that mercy is harmful and suppresses a person's willpower. Perhaps people do not fully understand the essence of mercy or perceive it in a perverted form. In any case, each person decides for himself what he should be. If we love, feel good in our hearts, have genuine compassion and care for those around us, we will never consider it wrong or bad.

Listen to your heart, open it to the people around you. Be kind, sensitive and compassionate, and then you will know what real happiness and harmony are.

The invisible world of our soul

So how can we better understand the meaning of the word mercy? Well, to do this you need to look inside yourself. Try to consider that distant, unknown world in which our feelings live. After all, it is there that mercy is born and matures.

But it cannot exist alone for long. Without love for others and kindness in the heart, mercy quickly fades away. Therefore, only those who have cultivated these virtues can be called merciful. Awareness of this fact will help to better understand the nature of the concept we are considering, so to speak, to see its origins.

How to develop this quality in yourself

Showing mercy requires altruism, a willingness to help those in need, and to do good deeds. These actions are often accompanied by the expenditure of external (material) and internal resources, which is not an easy task.

Few people want to share their money and spend their time with other people. This requires true generosity, based on love and compassion for all those in need.

Therefore, if you want to develop compassion in yourself, pay attention to the following points:

  1. Forget about personal gain. If you decide to do a good deed, think about who you are doing it for. If you give, give selflessly and don't expect anything in return. The main reward is smiles and gratitude (sometimes you shouldn’t expect it) from those you helped;
  2. Forgive insults and help even those who have offended you. Love does not know hatred, anger, envy, jealousy and other destructive feelings. All people make mistakes, and your abuser may have done the same - forgive him or her and help him or her when needed;
  3. Learn to listen and hear others. Sometimes we feel lonely and suffer because of it. Listen to the other person. They may need it;
  4. Make a donation. No one is saying that you have to give away your hard-earned money left and right: give what you can. Now there are not many rich people in our country, but if each of us donates at least 50 rubles for an operation for a sick child, we will not become poor, but will save someone’s life;
  5. Help people in their daily lives. Have you asked for directions? I asked for directions. If you asked for advice, give it if you can. Take the old man to the other side of the street. Make room for women. Save the kitten. These are little things, but they make up our life;
  6. Find a few hours a week to dedicate your time to those who need it. You can go to an orphanage and play with the children. Visit a nursing home and talk to the elderly. Support terminally ill patients living out their final days in hospice by talking to them. Make something at home for a lonely grandma.

In fact, there are many ways to “train” and practice compassion. You just need to want, look around, and you will always find a person or situation that needs your participation.

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