It seems that there are many more rude and evil people in this world than kind and caring souls. We constantly fight with each other, not realizing that sometimes there is not even a reason due to which uncontrollable rudeness arises. As disrespectful attitudes become more and more common, this problem is not going away anytime soon. And if we understand the origins of people’s negative behavior, perhaps we can cope with it.
Unlucky day
Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.
The interweaving of Orthodoxy and military affairs in the Main Church of the Russian Armed Forces
Approaches to education change, but the father remains the father: Nadya Mikhalkova about “Bata”
A group of scientists came to the conclusion that plant pollen reduces immunity
Everybody hates everybody
The teacher hit the student, the student hit the teacher... One driver did not give way to another - he got out and took a bat from the trunk... The daily news feed is full of such stories. Anger, aggression, intolerance. How do you explain this from a psychological point of view?
Sergey Enikolopov:
Unfortunately, aggression is one of the best forms of protecting one’s “I” on a personal level. At certain moments, a person experiences certain threats, anxieties and fears because he is losing something: identification, work, place in the hierarchy, fame, etc. And then an explosion of aggressive behavior is possible. Take teachers, for example. They lost their Soviet status. Then the teacher was surrounded by an aura of respect and veneration, perceived as a sower of the rational, the good, the eternal. Who is he today? School has ceased to be a sacred place. A teacher can be humiliated and insulted. You can even hit him. The same applies to students. When I was studying, relationships could be sorted out either in the toilet or behind the school. You couldn't fight in class. If someone punched someone in the face in class, it was an emergency. Now you can do whatever you want at school.
Does aggression also stem from the fact that society is split along many lines? The poor hate the rich, losers hate successful people, locals hate those who have come in large numbers.
Sergey Enikolopov:
The most paradoxical thing is that everyone hates everyone. Each social stratum has its own objects of hatred. That is, it cannot be said that the poor hate the rich or vice versa. There are a lot of shades here. The completely rich, for example, hate the moderately rich, and together they hate the infinitely rich. Everyone has someone to hate.
It's easy to call such hatred irrational, but it probably has reasons. Which ones do you think?
Sergey Enikolopov:
In psychology there is a concept “I-concept”. This is a stable system of an individual’s generalized idea of himself. For example, the following “I-concept” is possible: “I am good. The world is fair." To support this concept, a person will give you many examples, although he knows very well that the world is unfair. But internally he has the conviction that the world is just, that it cannot but be fair. And when this belief collapses, the person receives severe psychological trauma. Why are previously unimaginable attacks on teachers and doctors now happening? Because this is the social status of these professions. Today, a school or a medical institution is a constant feeling that you are nobody, that you are despised and therefore you can be treated as you please.
Aggression is also generated by television talk shows, whose participants, from morning to evening, without mincing their words, wash their own and other people’s dirty linen. In the public space, things have become possible that previously, even in a close family circle, were often considered beyond the bounds of decency. Maybe our society is becoming more open and we should be happy about it?
Sergey Enikolopov:
Man is designed in such a way that he learns most effectively by observation. Seeing how close relatives squabble in public, the observer begins to feel anxious. How so? Am I really raising a little wolf cub now? As a result, everyone begins to doubt everyone. And these doubts, this uncertainty about human integrity, sooner or later result in aggression. It is no coincidence that when analyzing suicides in the West, the term “contagion” is used. If the media reports someone's suicide, wait for the next one. And celebrities make the greatest contribution to the suicide epidemic. Statistics showed that after the death of Marilyn Monroe, the number of suicides increased by 12 percent within a month. It's an infection. Infection.
Perhaps violence is just as contagious?
Sergey Enikolopov:
It's the same with violence. Having seen what some so-called law enforcement officers sometimes do, you are imbued with the conviction that if something happens, it is useless to contact the police. It is this anxiety, the perception of the world as hostile that forces a person to be on the alert all the time, setting him up to instantly rebuff anyone who, as it seems to him, is encroaching on his freedom, sovereignty, or even everyday comfort.
This is probably why today it is easy to predict the emotional reaction of the “average” Russian citizen to a request to turn down the music or stop swearing in a subway car. I must admit, I am afraid to make such requests.
Sergey Enikolopov:
Me too. Spend a day watching TV series about bandits, and you will get the feeling that you can’t trust anyone, there are lies, deceit, betrayals, and “set-ups” everywhere. And that there is no pain for the beaten person. An addiction to violence occurs.
The person has negative feelings towards you
It's almost impossible to please everyone. That's why each of us has friends who don't like us. But we try to control ourselves and not demonstrate our negative attitude (in the event that our hostility is mutual), and other people do not consider this a reasonable solution. Moreover, they do this on purpose to show you their disdain. They try to insult, humiliate, spoil the mood, etc. But we understand that they do all this out of their weakness and bad manners. An intelligent person will never stoop to show his negative attitude. The most he will do is simply ignore you. Therefore, you should not be offended by those who show their anger in this way.
Violence by women against men is now also justified
Can we say that social networks, where everything has become possible - streams of abuse, mocking trolling, outbursts of anger, aggression - are preparing a moral revolution? Or has this revolution already happened and it’s too late to complain about Facebook and Instagram?
Sergey Enikolopov:
We are, of course, observing a certain decline in moral thresholds. But it’s one thing to cheat on wives or husbands (this is not the most decent option, but still peaceful) and another thing is domestic violence. The degree of this violence is increasing - that’s what’s alarming. According to evolutionary psychology, male violence against women is biologically determined. Not in the sense that it will definitely happen, but in the sense that this is some form of protection against the wife’s infidelity. But now violence by women against men is justified.
Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem can demonstrate rudeness and anger. If a person does not know anything in life, cannot boast of his intellect (experience, achievements, etc.), he begins to “present” himself in exactly this way. He begins to attract attention to himself by attacking others, and thus self-actualizes (from his point of view). Such a person will be happy if he is perceived as a brawler with whom no one wants to deal, because otherwise he will simply not be noticed. Therefore, we, as people with objective self-esteem, have to look at all this with pity (not in the best sense of the word) and condescension. We cannot do anything about this, since only experienced specialists or the person himself can change him.
Lamination or extensions: beauty treatments for eyelashes in 2021
The number of twins born in the world is growing every year
Tiny antibodies from alpacas and camels may help fight COVID-19
How to eat in quarantine - WHO recommendations
This rhetoric itself - “we need to teach them” - is very familiar, isn’t it? But maybe if “they” had chosen a different tone of conversation with “us”, if only they had had a human conversation at least once, then the main criterion for the effectiveness of anti-virus measures - the law-abiding nature of citizens - would only increase? The Russians, being innocent of anything, seem to have been punished for something all these months. But it would seem: right now the nation should unite against a common misfortune, right now is the time for speeches in the style of “Brothers and sisters! I am addressing you, my friends!” But we are not talking about any cooperation or unity.
For now, only military operations. “More than 90 thousand citizens were brought to administrative responsibility for violating the mandatory isolation regime,” the head of the capital’s main control department smartly reports. “Eight million were collected by bailiffs from Tatarstan residents for violating the mask regime,” reports the Office of the Federal Bailiff Service for the Republic of Tatarstan. “Guests of New Year’s corporate parties in Moscow will be fined for violating the regime,” as if representatives of the operational headquarters for controlling the situation with coronavirus in Moscow were even rejoicing in advance. And everything seems to be correct, everything is according to the law, but people - even if you crack it! — for some reason they don’t understand, they don’t accept this bureaucratic, “their” victorious joy.
Who are we fighting with? So, what is next? Historian and writer Yuval Noah Harari, in an interview with Posner, also stated that the pandemic provokes aggression, but this, according to the author of “Sapiens” and “21 Lessons for the 21st Century,” is just the beginning. If we don’t find a common language with each other now, we will have a hard time: “In the future, we will face greater crises than this one. These could be new pandemics, problems associated with global climate change, as well as the introduction of artificial intelligence and high technologies and various dangers associated with this. We should choose the path of compassion and enlightenment.”
Containing your negative emotions
Some people simply don't know how to control their negative emotions. They try to stop for a moment to think about the situation, but they can't even do that. These people tend to overreact to even the smallest problems, as they have an overly active temperament and excessive emotionality. It is worth understanding that a person who is constantly in an excited state and reacts to every little thing, while making a huge scandal out of nothing, is to some extent sick. He experiences a lot of negative emotions and worries, and this irritates his nervous system. Don't pay attention to him and take everything personally. We must hope that he will recover someday, but for now, let him be rude to himself, since it’s easier for him.
Intimidation or sympathy?
Society is not psychologically prepared for the second wave of coronavirus. And officials, it seems, just like in the spring of 2020, are not ready to spend time and effort on explanatory work and words of consolation for confused citizens, choosing the usual coercion and intimidation. “Most government officials have a “watchman” complex—they came into power to assert themselves at the expense of their subordinates and the people who depend on them,” political scientist, candidate of political sciences Ivan Preobrazhensky tells Ogonyok. “People see this, so everyone, even quite they resist reasonable quarantine measures: they do not understand how they will protect them personally. In addition, the basis of the current Russian government is the “siloviki”, and they are accustomed to working in the format of “special operations” so that information does not “leak” to the press. In a pandemic, when society is frightened and the level of its already high aggression has increased sharply, bosses do not reassure, but add fear and hatred, since reassurance, in their understanding, is the same as descending to the same level as subordinates, ceasing to be real leaders who only command and wait for “orders to be carried out.”
Of course, we still don’t beat everyone who violates quarantine with sticks, like in India. They beat some people.
In the city of Berezniki, police officers so zealously carried out “decree of the governor of the Perm region dated August 20, 2021 No. 121 “On measures implemented in connection with the threat of the spread of a new coronavirus infection (COVID-19) in the Perm region”” that they simply beat up a buyer who found himself in a supermarket without a mask - they tied him up in front of his crying four-year-old daughter. In Magnitogorsk, law enforcement officers beat a violator of the mask regime with batons, then handcuffed him and took him to the police station. Several law enforcement officers pounced on a passenger who found himself without personal protective equipment at the Begovaya metro station in St. Petersburg...
And the police union approves of such harsh detentions. The head of the coordinating council of the Moscow Police Union, Mikhail Pashkin, is confident that such measures are completely justified, because people who do not wear masks can provoke the authorities to impose a curfew altogether: “I am for tough actions not only by the police, but also by Rospotrebnadzor and inspectors. If people don’t understand that by their actions they are only expanding the pandemic, they need to be taught.”
Miseducation
Often parents allow their children to do whatever they want. From these naughty kids, to whom everything is allowed, ill-mannered adults grow up. They are used to getting everything they want from life, so they choose this particular style of behavior. Ignorant people try to achieve everything through rudeness, scandals and hysterics. They constantly raise their voices and try to draw attention to their problem, involving everyone present. Unfortunately, we cannot re-educate them, so we are forced to simply ignore their demands, which are expressed in this way.
Linen clothes to create a stylish look: what to wear in spring 2021
"I believe you". Why viewers praise the new series “Heaven Can Wait”
Record-breaking black hole discovered
Even at four years old we could feel schadenfreude
Cute children seem to us like innocent creatures without a single evil thought. However, many studies show that even young children are capable of experiencing quite adult and unpleasant emotions.
For example, this 2013 study showed that four-year-old children can gloat—that is, take some pleasure in another person's misfortunes (especially when they thought the object of the gloating deserved it).
Another study found that six-year-olds would rather watch a villain doll get beaten than receive stickers. Yes, and say goodbye to the usual thought of children’s kindness: by the age of three, they already perfectly remember who owes them and how much.
Heightened self-esteem
Some people consider themselves superior to others. They treat others as service personnel or simply individuals unworthy of their level. Such people constantly demonstrate their superiority and express this through raised voices or rudeness. Unfortunately, nothing can be done about this either. It is very difficult for a person who cannot objectively evaluate himself to prove the rules of good manners. Therefore, you should treat them with indifference or simply ignore them.
Why can anger be such a problem for others and angry people themselves?
Anger is a problem for those around and the evil people themselves.
An angry person is annoying and annoying. I don’t want to communicate with him, but often this is impossible. Maybe you just need to understand such people? Why can anger be such a problem for others and angry people themselves?
- According to psychologists, the source of both chronic anger and episodes of rage can be the psychological disorders of anxiety and depression.
- They note that among people with major depressive disorder, there is a surprisingly high level of irritability at 50% of the time.
- The studies establishing these percentages used measures of anger that the research team points out have not been well validated.
- In some cases, the statistics were based on very short tests of anger and irritability.
Depression and constant anger are the scourge of the 21st century. All experts related to psychology point to this. Why this happens, read on.
Longing for loneliness
Some people just need to be alone sometimes. And when they are forced to communicate with others (friends, relatives, colleagues), they do everything to provoke a conflict. Perhaps they do not want to start quarrels and scandals, they are simply trying to convey in this way so that they are left alone. Perhaps if you approach them after some time, they will behave differently, but at this point it is recommended to simply walk away.
Historical cruelty
The older generation likes to wonder why so many cruel people appeared? Everyone was kinder before. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. You just have to open a newspaper or watch the news.
People used to be kinder. It's worth thinking about. And before – when? Millennia ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can, by and large, even be justified somehow. They were primitive. And they didn’t know at all about humane treatment of one’s neighbor. Or maybe those who lived during the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people were in prison thanks to denunciations. How many of these “good-natured people” sincerely tried to present their neighbor with a “gift”!
Why does it feel like there are so many cruel people today? Of course, the media made their contribution. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of cruelty. It should be noted that the level of humanity among humanity has increased, which is why aggression is so striking.
Lack of communication skills
When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.
They have difficulty expressing emotions: problems that smart people often face
From loose to tight: trendy dress styles for spring 2021
How to clean furniture for pennies: a product made from 2 products (the main thing is the proportions)
Is it worth fighting childhood shyness?
If a child is not confident in his abilities and worries that he will not be able to cope with some task assigned to him, then he begins to withdraw into himself or use various tricks to relieve himself of responsibility and refuse to participate in this dubious undertaking from his point of view. . Does your child have to perform in front of a large audience and sing a song in the evening, but in the morning he declares that he has lost his voice or has a terrible sore throat? The symptoms of a psychosomatic illness are obvious, the causes of which not all parents will understand.
It is common for a child, like an adult, to experience a feeling of anxiety. To help the child cope with difficulties and protect him from many problems that may arise in adulthood, parents are obliged to read books on child psychology and monitor the emotional state of their child.
Getting sick from facing reality is one of the worst ways to evade responsibility. Children whose parents did not sound the alarm in time grow up and turn into angry or withdrawn individuals who do not know how to enjoy life, respect and love the living beings around them.
Poor self awareness
People with poor self-awareness may not always notice the changes sent by those around them. For example, if something they say upsets you, they may simply not notice. These people are not trying to look disrespectful, they simply do not know how to behave in such a situation. They need to explain everything in detail (say what exactly upsets and offends you in this conversation), since not everyone will be able to read your thoughts. If you do this once (and even more so several times), without getting offended or reacting with aggression, then the person will definitely behave differently (at least with you). Try it, you will definitely succeed.
Medical factors
of norepinephrine in the blood increases in people .
This is a hormone of the adrenal medulla, which is in many ways similar in its characteristics to adrenaline.
During negative emotional reactions, due to an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood, the heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, and blood supply to the muscles increases.
If you pay attention to an angry person, you can notice the redness of his face, muscle tension, and a change in facial expressions.
In a state of strong excitement, a person begins to speak loudly, his nostrils flare, and his breathing quickens.
All these external manifestations of experienced dissatisfaction are the result of an increase in the level of norepinephrine in the blood. It is for this reason that it is so important not to keep feelings inside, but to give them a way out. This allows you to reduce the negative impact on the body .
Personality disorder
There are many different types of personality disorders, and some of them make people quite rude, or make them seem so. Please understand that not everyone is at the same level of mental development as you. It is necessary to understand that this is a serious problem, first of all, for the person himself. He undoubtedly needs treatment, where experienced specialists will help him cope with his uncontrollable emotions. Therefore, you should not take everything personally and be offended by sick (in the literal sense of the word) people. Not everyone has a personality disorder, but they are much more common than you might think.
Why is a woman angry?
A woman is a more emotional living being. Therefore, there can be an unlimited number of reasons for her anger. Among them, the most common are the absence of a worthy man nearby, excess weight, lack of a good outfit and many other factors. It is worth noting that during the menstrual cycle a woman can behave quite strangely and react aggressively to literally everything.
We are two-faced and hypocritical
Not only do we overestimate our own positive qualities, but we also show appalling hypocrisy.
You should beware of those who denounce others loudest: most likely, the moral prosecutor himself is not very pure, but, naturally, he considers his own sins not worthy of attention.
One of the studies, aptly titled “The Double Bottom of Virtue: Analyzing the Phenomenon of Moral Hypocrisy,” discovered the following behavioral feature. In the experiment, subjects could juggle the tasks and choose the easiest one for themselves. As a rule, those who rigged were much more concerned about the similar actions of others than their own.
This phenomenon, known as actor-observer asymmetry (a special case of the fundamental attribution error), has been studied for quite some time.
We tend to explain the negative behavior of other people (for example, adultery) by their character traits, and justify our own behavior by external circumstances.
The existence of such internal double standards provides an explanation for the illusion of societal degradation: a recent study showed that we evaluate the rude actions of strangers much more negatively than the same actions from loved ones or from ourselves.
