I want love, what should I do? 5 tips to find love and 3 fears that prevent you from finding it

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At first you strictly came home before dinner, then you only took a sip of champagne at parties, then you earned money for a car and an apartment.

Now all that remains is to meet with unmarried friends and discuss the latest news. And where is the man on this list?

Here, here... He's gone. You understand that you have already outgrown the stage when you can be happy without a man. Now you realize “I want love, what should I do?” Yes, what should I do?

Love is good, don't forget about it!

Everyone wants to love and be loved. The realization that someone needs you inspires you. Our upbringing gives us the necessary knowledge about technology, success, beauty, and health. But “love” is used to being ignored, as if it were a matter of course.

And in vain. After all, it is precisely because of the lack of this feeling that self-destruction, grief, and hatred occur. To find, enjoy and keep love, you need to gain strength and carry it through your entire life. But many have nothing to find, nothing to enjoy, and nothing to preserve.

Often this desire arises due to constant loneliness. Monotonous work, the same thing every day, the same people. The result is “I want someone, but I don’t know who.”

Weigh the pros and cons

Think about what you are looking for. No, don’t make a detailed list down to hair color or education level. Just define the basics of your search.

For example, you like people who are kind and caring, or you are looking for someone with a sense of humor.

You should also list what you absolutely do not accept.

For example: perhaps there is a certain political affiliation, or you don't want your partner to travel a lot for work, so you won't see each other much.

You can always revise this list. It will give you the opportunity to weed out people with whom you cannot build strong romantic relationships.

Another platitude - love people!

Without knowing it, we often simply do not like those around us. We become angry at everyone.

As long as you remain in conflict with others, the path to your loved one simply remains closed. Nobody forces you to become everyone's best friend, your task is to accept people as they are.

Try to see beyond your nose and understand the reasons for their actions. Why is the boss's secretary such a bitch? Maybe because a man left her before, she was betrayed several times and now she doesn’t trust anyone?

A person’s own importance to others

For most people, the fact that they are loved by loved ones is important. Nevertheless, there are individuals for whom the value of public opinion is particularly high. A person wants to be loved by everyone around him. But is this normal from a psychological point of view?

The desire for universal love is associated with serious psychological problems that come from childhood. It is possible that a child was loved in childhood only when he was good. Thus, the child did not understand what it means to “love, no matter what.” Now that he has become an adult, he decided to earn the love of others.

A person with normal self-esteem has no desire to be adored by everyone. It is enough for him that his loved ones love him. As a rule, people with normal self-esteem are not afraid of being scolded by their boss for a poorly done job or being rude by a salesperson in a store.

Move! Move!

Sports are great. Walking is also good. But we often forget about the movement of energy and soul. How long has it been since you talked to new people? How are you going to find love if you have the same thing every day.

Learn to say “yes” to life without fear. Did a friend invite you to visit your friends at their dacha for the weekend? Agree. Is your favorite band coming to your city? Buy the tickets. Have you been invited to a cafe with an unfamiliar company? It's time for new acquaintances.

Give the Universe the opportunity to introduce you to someone.

More communication and new acquaintances

Where does falling in love begin? Of course, from a new acquaintance. To find love, you need to make the most of your opportunities. It is impossible to fall in love if you are constantly sitting at home. The exception is online dating. You need to get to know more people, not necessarily new ones. The main thing is to look for common ground, to see what emotions arise during communication. So, what actions should be taken on your part:

1. Stop constantly rushing. If you are going somewhere, don't forget to look around.
2. Try to look attractive, even if you only go to the store for a short time.
3. When you notice an interesting guy (girl), don’t look away, but smile.
4. To make acquaintances, girls can ask what time it is or ask them to find the right address. In this regard, it’s easier for guys; it’s enough to openly express your sympathy and offer to meet in the evening in a cozy cafe.
5. Find time to meet with friends. According to statistics, many people find their soul mate in common company.
6. Register on a dating site.
7. Take a closer look at your colleagues.
8. Join a gym or dance class.
9. Consider taking courses based on your interests.

If you are a fairly reserved person and find it difficult to be around people all the time, you can ask your friends or even your parents to introduce you to a worthy candidate. The main thing is not to sit idly by. Remember, water does not flow under a lying stone.

Platitude number 3. Be free.

Free yourself from the past, from public opinion. Who cares what job your man has, whether he is fat or very thin, how old he is. Or maybe your chosen one is a girl? And so what?

To be loved means to fill yourself with what makes you happy, not those around you.

Falling in love with grievances and memories of your ex will not work. Your partner will immediately feel a certain coldness in your relationship. Throw away all his gifts, delete correspondence and phone number, don’t forget to unsubscribe on social networks.

Why do you need to know about his life? Be more interested in your real partner.

Be open, develop relationships

Every person is a closed book, and to understand how interesting it is, you need to open it and read it. Only by getting to know a person a little deeper can you truly fall in love. When communicating, you need to go beyond the routine questions “how are you?”, “What did you do today?” It is better to ask about what characterizes a person. For example, what films and books he prefers, what kind of vacation he likes, what he dreams about.

Collaborative activities also reveal people well. Instead of a date at a cinema or cafe, you should go to an ice skating rink, visit a rope park, or try to draw a picture together. By how a person copes with difficulties, whether he supports you or not, you can understand his character and attitude. And you can tell, tell, anything.

Don't run away from love!

Girls who just want to be loved choose one of three paths:

• They begin to constantly search for their ideal love and, as a result, get used to this state. Over time, they will no longer be able to truly become attached to someone.
• They give their love not to a specific person, but to music, work, and travel. Such girls devalue feelings.
• Moves into a relationship with one-sided devotion. She cannot take, she only has the attitude of giving.

All these women are running away from true love in one way or another. Hiding behind an imaginary ideal, a favorite hobby or obsessive devotion.

How to check your compatibility

Today, there are many techniques that allow you to check the compatibility of a couple. These include all kinds of psychological tests, socionic typing, horoscopes, astrological calculations. However, love is not an exact science. If it were possible to calculate everything in advance, each girl was married for a long time, and the guy was married. But there are still a lot of lonely people.

What to do then, how to understand whether a person is right for you or not? You need to listen to your heart, and don’t forget about your mind. There are 7 points, the coincidence of which, according to scientists, is very important:

1. Sexual temperament, how often contact is needed and what its significance is in life. A very important coincidence that allows you to avoid cheating.
2. Same social level. A girl from a poor family and a millionaire is more nonsense than a rule.
3. General topics of conversation. Communication is very important. If at first there is nothing to talk about, what will happen next?
4. Common interests. A truly happy couple is one that can develop together and move in the same direction. For example, travel together. If one loves to lie on the couch, and the other needs constant movement, sooner or later the relationship will end.
5. Identical views on roles in the family, raising children. At the initial stage, few people pay attention to this point, but in vain. This is the most common stumbling block for married couples. Irresistible, unfortunately.
6. Same life, daily routine. Comfort when living together is of great importance. This minimizes the risk of scandals and quarrels, allowing you to spend time together with pleasure and without stress.
7. Character and disposition. Two leaders do not get along together, that's a fact. Such couples often have passion, but love, where sacrifice, support and understanding is alien to them. Sooner or later, relationships turn into competition, and once close people become rivals, and then enemies.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the so-called psychological tests about compatibility. You can find a lot of these on the Internet. Almost all of them were created by amateurs, unreliable and even false. If you need an outside opinion, it is better to contact a professional psychologist or astrologer. You can ask your parents or friends for advice. But remember, listening and listening are two different things. Think with your own head.

What to do if you want love, but there is none?

The need for love is a normal and natural desire. This is human nature: to love and be loved. Even the most callous and evil people secretly dream of this feeling.

To love, you need:

• get to know yourself;
• find harmony with others;
• take care of your beauty;
• move;
• become free.

Some, out of fear of rejection, begin to run away from love. They hide, withdraw and live in eternal fear.

Love is not a commodity-money relationship. If you chose your partner based on his wallet, don’t be surprised why you still haven’t felt loved.

To make the union strong

Falling in love is not the key to a good relationship. Promiscuity, psychological trauma, irresponsibility can ruin everything. Girls often say, I want not only to fall in love, but also to be loved. But in reality, they are not ready to either accept this very love or give it away. To fall in love means to some extent to sacrifice your desires and interests in favor of your loved one:

• give in in a dispute, seek compromises;
• support your loved one, even if it’s hard for yourself;
• to greet warmly;
• trust and do not look for tricks in actions or words;
• respect completely;
• do not criticize, but help to become better;
• whenever possible, always come to the rescue and support;
• be able to joke and be silent at the right time;
• to please, to initiate an interesting pastime.

To consolidate the union, it is also important to establish relationships not only with each other, but also with the parent families. Ideally, they should be warm and friendly. Rejection by parents can end in disaster. After all, relatives are always closer, they cannot be replaced, unlike a guy or a girl.

Discover new opportunities

Take a free cooking or driving course.

Be friendly and open to the people you meet. Even if you don't fall in love, you will find a lot of interesting things to do in communication.

Remember, opposites can attract. Two individuals who were initially “pushed off” can enter into a long-term relationship.

It’s not enough to say to yourself “I want to fall in love,” what to do if nothing happens? Be patient.

Even if you go to parties and your friends have introduced you to a lot of attractive people, you should still expect the process to take some time.

It may take years for what you dream of to happen.

What is it for

To the question of what true love is, few can answer. Some people call this strong passion, for some it is inseparable from respect, and for many it grows out of friendship.

Ideally, these signs coincide, but this does not always happen. Moreover, passionate relationships often turn out to be unstable. Knowing this, sometimes it makes sense to try to grow feelings yourself.

What advantages can the desire to reciprocate an unloved person give?

Surprisingly, there are a lot of them:

• Psychologists have long noticed that relationships based on friendship are stronger than those based on passion. Vivid love gives unforgettable feelings, but it can also cause disappointment. As the saying goes: “From love to hate - one step”;
• Even though the person is still unloved, his care will surround you and help you forget about loneliness. Now you will have a reliable person next to you who you can trust;
• after the start of a relationship, you can be sure that there will be a person nearby who will support you in difficult times, share all the difficulties and rejoice at your successes. In addition, the chosen one will always take care of your health and provide assistance in solving everyday problems;
• at the same time, a loving person, being nearby, will be able to point out the shortcomings and mistakes made, which gives a chance to improve and achieve more, striving for perfection.

Thus, the thought of how to love a person who loves you is quite suitable and correct for the future life. But, as with many things, it takes some effort.

How to understand that you should not continue

Seeing the devoted attitude and boundless feelings addressed to you on the part of a person who is in love with you, it is difficult to resist and at least try to awaken reciprocal emotions in yourself.

As you can see from the article, there are quite effective ways to achieve this. But what to do if, despite the efforts made, nothing works out and your soul is empty?

There is no internal fracture in the relationship

Firstly, you need to remember that in everything and everywhere you need a golden mean. You shouldn’t categorically refuse a person who is in love with you, but breaking yourself is also not a good idea.

If you constantly step over your desires, an internal personality conflict may arise when your own desires do not coincide with what is happening around you. In the first place, we remember, is our personal integrity.