There are people who are characterized by indecisiveness, because it is precisely this that allows them to evade responsibility and not participate in the process of making important decisions. Not only personal, but also professional.
Consequently, they simply do not want to shoulder the burden of responsibility. But you need to understand that it is necessary to overcome the barrier of indecision. Because it prevents you from making the right and bold choice. Consider its positive and negative aspects, earn the trust of management in the professional field, and as a result, take advantage of the opportunity to move up the career ladder. Obtaining a higher paying position.
Definition
Who is an indecisive person? The definition of this concept is this: this is a shy person who is unable to make decisions on her own. People of this type of character always need to ask for advice from others. Indecisive people are afraid of responsibility. Such fear extends not only to the area of work, but also to personal life.
A person who is afraid of making mistakes asks for advice from others and acts in accordance with the decisions made by other people. This way of thinking is absurd, because no one can guarantee that a recommendation given by someone will be beneficial. But this method of shifting responsibility onto someone else’s shoulders relieves the person of responsibility. If something goes wrong in life, then indecisive people say that the failures are not their fault, because the wrong decision was not the fruit of their intellectual activity, but the result of a hint from an outside individual.
“Interest” technique – how to get rid of indecision and fear (video)
When a feeling of anxiety and fear overtakes and haunts for a long time, a person becomes indecisive. And over time, these feelings will take all your strength and energy and completely destroy your entire mood. There is a solution to the problem - we need to find and destroy the root of the problem. This video will help.
Respected people are determined people
When making decisions, you need to convince yourself that the choice you made is correct, this will strengthen your own self-esteem, and bring joy and satisfaction from a sense of independence. Indecision will visit you less and less.
Therefore, it will not take long to receive well-deserved respect from friends, colleagues and management. Which always values in its employees the ability to make quick decisions. Helping the person to develop in his position and the company of which he is an employee, together with him.
Signs
What does an indecisive person look like? Such a person is easy to pick out from the crowd. The person behaves very modestly and tries to get lost behind other people. To better camouflage himself, he prefers to wear clothes in discreet colors (gray or black). The gaze of such a person does not focus on anything specific. When talking with an indecisive person, you may notice that she will not look into your eyes, but somewhere into the distance.
An indecisive person likes to hunch over. His movements are constrained, unnatural, and sometimes too fussy. The person is trying to become invisible, so he will try to close himself off from strangers. This can be clearly seen in the gestures of an indecisive person. He will assume closed postures, constantly crossing his arms and legs. That's what psychologists say.
In addition, you can notice that indecisive people shift from foot to foot for a long time before entering, for example, the office of some official; they sit with their knees together, while women clutch their handbag to their chest.
Modesty is another sign of a shy person. Such a person will never prove or show anything to anyone. The person will try not to stand out from the crowd. Among indecisive people there are often truly talented people, but they are afraid to demonstrate their abilities because they are not sure that others will appreciate their talent.
Advantages and disadvantages
From a psychological point of view, is shyness good or bad? This character trait has more disadvantages than advantages for a person’s personal development and career success.
Pros:
- evokes more respect from others than arrogance;
- adorns the female half of humanity;
- guarantees that such a person will not be rude or offend;
- protects against intrigue and gossip, since a shy person is not the center of attention;
- in some cases, it promotes self-development if you turn loneliness to your advantage and start improving a skill.
Minuses:
- difficulties in communicating with people;
- lack of opportunity to express a personal opinion, express yourself and your abilities;
- development of isolation and excessive concentration on one’s own experiences and sensations;
- inappropriate reactions to the words and actions of other people;
- incorrect judgment of others about the personality of a given person - reluctance to communicate with him;
- lack of friends, often family;
- impossibility of career advancement;
- first - concealment, and soon - suppression of natural inclinations and abilities;
- impetus for the development of depression and autism;
- Among the consequences are loneliness, alcoholism, neuroses, mental disorders, and suicide.
Given such an advantage, psychologists strongly advise getting rid of shyness in a timely manner so that it does not have such negative consequences.
Example from practice. Despite the fact that arrogance and the absence of any complexes are condemned in society, and modesty and shyness are welcomed, for a successful career it is the first two qualities that turn out to be more productive. Two young people were hired to work in the office. The first had mediocre abilities, was restless, but at the same time believed in himself and demonstrated himself in every possible way to his colleagues and superiors. Something wasn’t clear (and he always didn’t understand something) - he asked and asked for help. Initiative was required - he proposed ideas, even if they were not entirely successful, but this created the impression of an active employee.
The second guy had all the skills and abilities necessary for this position, he was diligent and even talented, but at the same time he was overly shy. I did not communicate with anyone, did not put forward my vision of solving the problem at planning meetings, although it existed. Yes, he had perfectly written reports, but at the same time his superiors could not discern anything else in him.
As a result, it was the first one who went up the career ladder, while the second one remained sitting as a gray mouse in his department. This is a clear example of the devastating consequences shyness can have.
All problems come from childhood
Why are some people confident in themselves while others become indecisive? A person who is brought up in a normal family will grow into a worthy citizen without inferiority complexes. Unfortunately, many parents cannot raise their children normally, so even with the best wishes they manage to impose a bunch of complexes on their children. For example, in a family where parents love to teach, instruct and control everything, the child will grow up modest and downtrodden. Why? Overprotection will not allow the child to develop normally. The child will begin to love peace and quiet. Subsequently, he will be comfortable being in his own company, and not among other people.
Also, an indecisive person can grow out of a child for whom everything is always forbidden. Such persons get used to constantly asking adults what they can and cannot do. This habit becomes second nature and is very difficult to break later.
Practical exercises for the indecisive person
For indecisive people, it will be useful to carry out the following practical exercise.
Write your immediate wishes or goals in your notebook, and opposite each one, write down the events on which you should make the main choice, and the positive and negative prospects that accompany them. You need to do this calmly and not give in to unnecessary emotions.
Then compare one and the other goals based on their pleasant and unpleasant prospects. We need to evaluate which of them are most achievable. This is how you train to control your own willpower and determination. This greatly helps to concentrate on pleasant prospects and find strength to deal with possible obstacles.
The easier this process becomes, the faster the internal psychological strength that motivates a person to action will accumulate.
Further according to a similar scheme. Opposite each event, it is necessary to indicate what hinders and, conversely, favors the implementation of each of them. If there is an underestimation of the influence of circumstances that have a favorable impact, and an overestimation of emerging obstacles, then a person may consider himself indecisive.
The ability to find more favorable circumstances always characterizes a person as an optimist. When a person sees only obstacles and situations, he can be considered a pessimist.
When there is a character trait that helps to neutralize obstacles or derive benefit and experience from them, then the person is an optimist and a realist at the same time. Such people become the most decisive compared to others.
Attitude towards yourself
An extremely indecisive person is a person with low self-esteem. Such an individual is sure that he is worse than others, therefore he cannot act freely and liberatedly. A person has to constantly think about how to earn the love of others. But first you need to love yourself. It's difficult to convince someone that you are good if you don't believe it yourself. There is nothing wrong with openly admitting your problem. In this case, it will be easier to get rid of it.
If an individual realizes that he is modest and insecure, he needs to understand the nature of his complexes. You should take responsibility for your actions and not shift them to society. Even if an individual makes the wrong decision, it doesn’t make it worth loving oneself any less. An insecure person must understand that he is individual and unique. There is no other person like him in the world. Therefore, you should take care of yourself. You can start by introducing a daily ritual. When you approach the mirror in the morning, you should smile at your reflection and thank your parents, God, and the Universe for the fact that you are exactly who you are.
Approval from the outside
How to distinguish a confident person from a very indecisive person? If an individual constantly needs outside advice or is waiting for the approval of others, it means that he has internal problems. A person who has high self-esteem will love what he does. He will not have doubts about the correctness of his choice.
An indecisive person will think for a long time about what to do and what to do. This does not apply to making important decisions on which, for example, success in business depends. You can't act rashly here.
An indecisive person will always compare his opinion with what others say. If his opinion differs from what others say, such an individual will reconsider his views. He will not defend them. This kind of logic is stupid. A person's individuality is expressed in his actions. There is no point in pleasing everyone. You can ask others for advice, but not from everyone, but only from those whom you consider competent in a particular issue. After listening to criticism, you don’t need to blindly believe it. Consider whether you are actually being given good advice. Know how to listen to others, but do not blindly follow other people's recommendations, do not allow others to live instead of you.
Definition of the concept
Indecisiveness is a lack of confidence in one’s abilities and in the correctness of decision-making. Indecisiveness is a character trait that occurs in every person from time to time. It is normal for any individual to have certain doubts when making a decision. While some overcome their indecision by choosing their own path, others create a huge problem out of this, which grows over time, plunging a person into a stupor, absorbing him entirely.
Considering indecision from a psychological point of view, there are two aspects of it:
- the basis of indecision is lack of self-confidence and self-confidence;
- an individual’s tendency to worry and worry about perceived problems in the near future.
If indecision haunts everyday life and prevents you from making even the most basic decisions, then there is a psychological problem that manifests itself as a result of the presence of an incorrect worldview. A person who cannot make a choice himself finds himself under the power of other people who make decisions for him. These are not always family members; they can be an authoritative friend, a boss, or even a program on a mobile device.
When someone else makes a decision for an indecisive person, he seems to be making his fate easier, but at the same time doing a disservice, because sooner or later there will come a time when there will be no people nearby who can help in making a decision.
Why do you need to change?
It is difficult to fight your complexes, but it is necessary to do it. An indecisive person is called modest and shy. Many people encourage these qualities. But in reality, uncertainty causes more problems than benefits. Why does a person need to change? To become strong and independent, to be able to do what you want yourself, and not someone else. It's never too late to start making changes for the better. The sooner you start working on yourself, the better, because you will have more time to realize your desires.
Self confidence
Indecisive people ask others for advice even on small things. For example, what is best to cook for dinner, what blouse to choose, where to go on vacation, what movie to watch. But is this necessary? After all, you will eat, dress, and have fun, and not others. Why then choose what they like?
You can ask advice only from a person who has been able to reach certain heights in life, who has experience in any matter. Of course, his tips are very important. They will help you avoid mistakes. In all other cases, be guided by your tastes and preferences. Start building self-confidence. Psychologists give the following guidelines:
- Take responsibility for life into your own hands. Don't try to blame others for your failures. Make your own decisions. Yes, sometimes they will fail. But celebrating a victory is much more enjoyable if you realize that it is completely yours.
- Expand your circle of acquaintances. The wider your social circle, the better. New people will bring about changes in your life. Thanks to this, you will change without making Herculean efforts.
- Love yourself. Never do anything you don't want to do. Of course, this does not apply to duties that need to be performed, for example, to activities with one’s own children, to work, and so on. No one is telling you not to go to work because you don’t want to. It's another matter if you don't like her. Then don’t be afraid of change, look for a new vacancy.
What does indecisiveness protect you from?
Indecisiveness and uncertainty are defense mechanisms of our subconscious. They protect us from unnecessary stress that we may experience.
If a person gives a presentation to a large audience, he becomes nervous and stressed. Suddenly he forgets something, suddenly he makes a mistake in something, suddenly he performs poorly. If a person takes responsibility for a large project, he also worries. Perhaps he won’t cope, won’t meet the deadline, messes up and lets people down.
All this is a high level of stress. Why does the body need to experience it again? Why subject yourself to such torture? Why go out in front of hundreds of people, get nervous and read this stupid report? What's the point of taking on such a large project and then walking around worrying all day long? It’s better to sit on your butt exactly in your shell and not test your body’s strength.
This is what our brain thinks. He chooses the place where he feels comfortable. Where there is no fear. Where everything is calm and smooth. He does not think about the opportunities that leaving his comfort zone will bring.
Your own path in life
Self-confidence comes to those people who know why they live. If you don't understand why you were born, it's hard for you to become confident. Finding a calling is sometimes very difficult, but this does not mean that you do not have one. Doing something you don't like all your life will not make you feel good. A person who is dissatisfied with life will not be able to radiate confidence and optimism. But these are precisely the qualities that are fundamental for a person with good self-esteem. Try to understand that you must start respecting yourself. For what? You must find the answer to this question yourself.
What You Never Achieve By Remaining Unsure
If you remain an insecure person, you will miss too many opportunities in life.
Get a salary increase? Past. Build a two-story white house with a green garden and a swimming pool? Past. Tour all Italian vineyards in a red Mini Cooper? Also by.
You won’t get everything you could from life because of eternal doubts: “Will it work out? Am I good for this? Am I sure I can?” All real opportunities will rush past you on a high-speed train, which you will never have time to jump on while you are in constant thought.
Do you know why self-confident people easily manage to run a successful business and earn big money? It's simple. A hundred thousand questions and doubts about themselves do not arise in their heads. They just take it and do it.
