13 tips on how to start a conversation correctly

Many people are afraid of public speaking—and this can extend to one-on-one conversations.
However, by avoiding small talk and asking people for their opinion or advice, you can overcome this problem.
Use what you know about them to start a conversation or ask about their interests.

Did you know that public speaking is often considered the thing people fear most?
But while getting up on stage in front of an audience can certainly be nerve-wracking, many people find striking up a one-on-one conversation to be just as intimidating.

Your conversation partner could be the CEO of your company, a new colleague, the guy at the post office, the girl from the IT department, or a stranger on the street.

No matter who you want to talk to, there is a way to start a conversation. And the best news is that it gets easier with practice.

Try these conversation starters to get anyone talking to you:

Applying Economic Concepts to Conversation

Imagine that your conversation is a bank. If you have a lot of investments, then things are going well. If loans are more than investments, then something needs to be changed. Transferring this metaphor to communication, we get this.

Emotional Investment

Agree with your interlocutor
Correct body language
Use the other person's name
Tell jokes
Encourage your interlocutor's ideas
Listen attentively
Ask for an opinion

Emotional loans

Disagree with your interlocutor
Incorrect body language
Talk a lot about yourself
Lie
Flattery
Vulgar and personal questions

Imagine that your conversation starts with zero balance and do everything to increase it!

Use body language

Body language when conducting a conversation is a very important detail. It will help you communicate even with a stranger. The first thing to do is smile. People, just like you, like friendly, smiling personalities.

If you want to make acquaintances, smile a friendly, warm smile. A pleasant appearance will help you get acquainted.

When communicating, do not close yourself off, turn your whole body towards the interlocutor, you can even bend over slightly.

Look into his eyes with an interested look. Don’t look away, conduct the conversation as if you were communicating with a loved one.

Don’t tense up, imagine that you have known each other for a long time, so relax. What to ask? The question should be about the topic where you are now. If you are at an event, ask what will be discussed at the event or its purpose.

Be open and friendly. A positive person is a great value these days.

Change the depth of the conversation

Do you know the proverb: small minds discuss people, medium minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas? Use it. Start small and make fun of someone, then get their opinion about an event, and then move on to ideas related to that event. Eg:

Introduction: Hello, how was your day?
Event: Are you planning something with Katya for Valentine's Day?
Idea: I saw an article online about how we have perverted Valentine's Day from its traditional meaning.

Ask the other person to be interesting

Each personality is interesting in its own way. Give a chance to open up, and the person will think only of you. To interest your interlocutor, ask him to tell about himself. He will understand that he has become interesting, and you will learn more about him as a person.

During the story, ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. If the interlocutor begins to tell some secrets from his life, consider that the beginning of a friendship or more personal relationship has been marked.

It is believed that it is easy for guys to start a conversation with a girl. But guys are not always decisive in this matter either. You also need to be able to speak first.

Phrase: “Can I meet you?” no longer works. Other banal phrases among young people are also not acceptable. Today you need to get acquainted not trivially, but knowing some subtleties.

You have to start with little things. For example, if you find yourself in a store next to a girl who is choosing a purchase, ask her if she has tried this product?

Don’t delay changing the topic, otherwise the girl will turn away indifferently. Don't try to start a conversation if the girl is on the phone.

Many guys try to start a conversation with the word “Hello”, but don’t know what to say next. Guys need to “get it into their heads” that every lady perceives conversations only about her beloved. Tell her in a funny, but non-vulgar way, what you liked most about her.

Today people most often meet people on the Internet. Here you need to interest the girl, bring out the male, the hunter in yourself.

Girls still love conquerors, not those who conquer themselves. Show that you have already chosen it. For example, ask to choose a puppy or perfume for your sister. If you agree, make an appointment.

Change the topic of conversation correctly

This has happened to everyone: you are discussing something with someone you know, but then a third person bursts into your conversation and turns the whole conversation in their direction. It's terribly annoying. But only if you're doing it wrong. You must make an emotional investment at the end of your monologue. This will distract attention and you won't look like an idiot by changing the subject. Example:

Chris: My son is a very good football player.
Me: Cool! You once talked about where he trained. My son recently earned a black belt in Karate and is going to Korea on a student exchange program. After all, your son trained in Korea? Can you give me some advice?

The emotional investment in this exchange was a compliment to Chris and his son. I changed the topic of conversation to the one I needed, doing it correctly.

Start with a question

There is a category of people who are able to immediately start a conversation even with a complete stranger. But most people do not dare to approach and start a conversation. And communication skills are valued today more than ever.

What's the best way to start a conversation? This is the most difficult question for someone who wants to approach and talk to a stranger.

How to start a dialogue correctly? Psychologists advise asking a question and then listening carefully to the answer. The question can be anything. If this is a complete stranger and you want to make friends, can you find out where to find a good clothing store? Or: “Do you know why this cafe is closed?”

The main thing is to start. If the interlocutor answered, then you can continue the dialogue about nature, weather, travel. They say this is empty talk. It turns out that this is not entirely true. About nature, weather, especially about travel - a good reason to start a further conversation.

If communication has begun, then it is important to remember that people do not like to “drag on” the same topic for a long time. After talking a little, switch the conversation to another topic, ask another question.

While talking, observe your interlocutor: is he bored? If he looks away and doesn't make eye contact, then it's time to end it and let him talk.

The main thing to understand here is: are they listening to you with interest or are they just waiting for the end of the tirade. An interested interlocutor can be invited to go to a cafe for a cup of coffee and continue the conversation.

Give the right compliments

Compliments are a very powerful tool if used correctly. The correct way to use compliments is to make them about something the person is proud of. Eg:

If the person is in good shape and it is obvious that he spends a lot of time in the gym, compliment him on his figure.
If a person is successful in their career, compliment their creativity, business acumen, or intelligence.

Don't compliment people's qualities unless they have achieved it themselves. Don't tell a beautiful girl that she is beautiful. She already knows that.

How to talk about yourself without being terribly boring

There are several rules that will definitely help the conversation so that it doesn’t get boring.

Don't talk about your problems, no one is interested in it.
Do not forcefully hold the attention of others. Even if you change the topic, the interlocutor will make it clear that he is no longer interested.
Do not describe episodes from your life in all colors. This tires the interlocutor.
There is no need to focus on every detail.
Try to bring a touch of humor into the conversation.
Don't interrupt the speaker, even if you didn't hear him. To begin with, it doesn't matter.
If they don't ask for advice, don't give it.
Don't judge anyone, even if you really want to. Be kind to all the people who suddenly come into question.
Unobtrusively express your opinion if it differs from the opinion of your interlocutor.
Talk less about your work, there are many other topics that may be common.
Treat yourself with respect too.

How to start a conversation with a girl on the Internet: TOP 30 phrases____30

Here everything is much simpler and not so scary. It seems... Although sometimes the stronger sex has difficulty coping with this task. It would seem that choose the girl you like and just write to her first. But the fear of seeing a written refusal, internal complexes, or something else prevents this.

Below is a list of phrases that make it easy to start a conversation online.

Everyone likes silently, but I decided to write!
Hello! Only you can save me! I urgently need a recipe for an amazing cake.
I have been interested in astrology for a long time, and it seems that we have something to talk about.

Hello! I lost an argument with my best friend and now I have to talk about any topic with an unfamiliar girl. Help out!
Hello! I really need your advice!
Don't you think it should be a criminal offense to drive all the guys crazy?
I have a lot of free time. Recommend some interesting book or movie.
Hello! Can you tell me about the secret features of this site?
Is it really you in the photo? Or is it a reproduction of a famous artist?
I'm looking and looking for you everywhere, and here you are, it turns out!
I'm going to switch to proper nutrition. A girl with such a graceful figure should definitely become my consultant!
What should you do if your phone refuses to open anyone’s page other than yours?
What would you do if you were in my place?
How about I make you happy?
Why do you prefer to surf the Internet at such a late hour?
Hello! I’m conducting a social survey, and you simply must take part in it.
Can I ask you a couple of interesting questions?
What are you thinking about right this minute?
How do you manage to look so dazzling?
What action do you regret most?

Do you think communication in virtual space can have a happy continuation?
What can you ask a girl and not be ignored?
Today is my birthday! Will you congratulate?
Smart and beautiful girl - myth or reality?
What music do you prefer to listen to when you're sad?
What a coincidence! I'm also into athletics!
What topic could you talk about endlessly?
Nowadays it’s quite difficult to meet your soul mate. Especially on the Internet. Do you agree with me?
I know the secret to lifting your mood in a matter of seconds. Shall I share with you?
Do you love animals? What is the name of your wonderful pet?

News

Another thing that unites you is news. Something happened in the city, in the world. Of course, you shouldn't start a heated political discussion, but mentioning something simpler can help quickly start a conversation.

10. “What do you think about (topic relevant to event or person)?” I may be biased, but the news is a great tool for establishing rapport.

11. “I can’t believe all the headlines this week. Crazy, right?

12. “How did you get here? Was it difficult to get there?” The method of movement from point to point is a hot topic. Surely they will tell you a story.

13. “Did you watch the match yesterday?” It's a classic, but there are reasons why it became a classic.

Why do we sometimes have “nothing to say”

Sometimes the question arises: “How to start communicating with new people if I don’t know what to say to them after “Hello!”.” We've all encountered this problem. We want to make a positive impression on a person, but all words and thoughts seem to evaporate. Because of this, we experience discomfort and feel somehow “wrong.”

In fact, we always have something to say. It is fears that block your communication skills. Because of fear, we limit the topics we can talk about in order to:

Don't seem stupid
Don't insult your interlocutor
Do not make a negative impression about yourself, etc.

As a result, it turns out that we either cannot say anything at all, or we say mediocre questions like “How are you?” or “How was your day?”, which don’t really mean anything. They are asked simply to fill the void.

But give up these inhibitions and allow the conversation to go in an unknown direction. Do you know what kind of conversation goes on a straight line? Boring. So just talk about everything that comes to mind. Ask questions and then it is important not to speak yourself, but much more important to be able to listen to your interlocutor. Remove all blocks! Even if you accidentally offend your interlocutor, there is always the opportunity to sincerely apologize.

How to ask people what they do

It is not tactful to ask people where they work, what they do, or how much they earn. If you really want to find out, then you don’t have to ask directly. Wait for the topic of conversation to start about work or occupation.

If the question is followed by a complaint about fatigue, that all the nerves are exhausted, consider that the person is ready to tell everything

Many people love to boast or complain so much that it is impossible to stop them. Think before touching on this topic.

If you haven’t talked or seen each other for a long time, then you really want to find out more about your friend. Firstly, you need to prepare for the meeting, think about what to say. Perhaps there is a topic that worries you, so why not discuss it?

Psychologists offer ways to make the meeting comfortable and useful:

Start a conversation about what happened a few minutes ago. This is the most reliable way to start a conversation, no matter who you meet. For example, you got caught in the rain, or a dog stopped you. Share your emotions, the rest will go like clockwork.
Remember something you had in common. Ask about his life so that the conversation continues from where it left off in the last meeting. For example: “How is your family life? After all, we haven’t seen each other since your wedding.” Options may be different.
Talk about popular topics. There will always be events that concern everyone. It could be sports, movies, jokes, elections. There's a whole list of topics.
Be honest. You can frankly say that you really wanted to meet, but didn’t know what we would talk about.