What to talk about with a guy on VK: when meeting for the first time, with regular communication, in order to maintain the intrigue, what mistakes should not be made.

How to start a conversation with a guy on VK

The first minutes of a conversation with a man can largely determine further communication. You are given the opportunity to show your interest, demonstrate originality and give impetus to the development of relationships.

In order for everything to work out, you must adhere to some rules:

Study the object of your desire . Social Networks are an excellent platform for dating, because literally with one click you can find out almost everything about any person. Find out as much as possible about the guy you like: where he studies or works, what music he listens to, whether he likes sports or cinema. In the future, this knowledge will play into your hands.
Find the right time . Most likely, you would not start a conversation with a guy who is busy with school or work. This rule also applies to correspondence - choose a convenient time, the evening is best, this time of day is free from business and conducive to confidential communication.
Start your attack . Think over your first message - it should be catchy. It's good if you get straight to the big guns and start with an interesting question on a related topic. For example: “I saw a post on your page about a movie that I’ve been wanting to watch for a long time. Can you tell me about him? I think you understand this." Men love to help, so he is unlikely to pass by, and you will have a reason to continue communication. If you don’t want to immediately touch on his interests, a regular warm greeting will do, give him a good mood and a smiley face - you’ll have a better chance that the communication won’t immediately fizzle out.

Don’t be afraid to seem strange or intrusive - there is a high probability that the guy will be amazed by your willingness to write first, and he will be happy to support the conversation.

Suitable phrases

To avoid getting into trouble, it is advisable for a man to know how to start a conversation with a girl on VK. Possible examples and phrases:

The future couple is in the same group. "Hi, Julia. I noticed you in the community (name). I liked your opinion on the topic (title). I want to discuss it with you in more detail. My name is Roman!
You can show your imagination a little. “Hello, Marina. I think I saw you at a movie premiere (at a party, in a park, at any event). Could I meet you there? The girl will begin to remember and answer to clarify the details.
Sometimes you can connect mysticism. “Hello, Maria. Today I dreamed of a beautiful young maiden. While scrolling through my VK feed, I accidentally came across your profile. You are an exact copy of the girl from my dream. Perhaps this is a sign. What do you think?".
The guy writes that he has already seen the charming person in reality. "Hello Yana. I saw you several times at the shopping center, but I didn’t dare approach you. And today I found you here. You are charming!".

Based on simple examples, any guy will be able to formulate a suitable sentence, and his phrases will not sound banal. And an unusual greeting will definitely interest the object of attention.

What can you talk about with a guy via text?

There are much more topics for conversation with a man than it seems. Finding the ideal one is not so difficult: study his profile on VKontakte, look at the list of his interest groups, the amount of music and the number of reposts, and you will immediately have an approximate map of his hobbies.

What you can talk about using this knowledge:

Tell us about the reason for meeting . Greet your interlocutor and tell him why you decided to write. Tell me what interested you: you saw his message in a group about cinema, his photographs seemed original, or you are just looking for a friend.
Discuss his interests . Before you touch on areas of his passion that you don't understand, do some research on them. If it's a movie, find out about the latest news, remember the actors and directors, study the plot. This will make you an invaluable interlocutor with whom a passionate person will be interested.
Get to know him . Don’t think that everything will be limited to studying the page on VK: ask directly about what interests him, find common ground. It has been proven that a person is extremely pleased when people are interested in him.

Once your communication becomes more trusting, there will be no need to artificially search for topics for conversation. Your conversation will be relaxed, dialogue will become much easier.

Question options

I bring to your attention examples of what you can ask a guy about when communicating on VK.

I have long dreamed of mastering cycling. Can you? Is it difficult?
Have you been to Europe?
I love rock. What kind of music do you prefer?
What attracts you most about basketball?
Tell us about your most unusual birthday gift.
How long have you been involved in sports running?
Do you like horror films?
Have you tried sushi?
I drink tea with milk. Which one do you prefer?
Which New Year is most etched in your memory? What exactly happened then?

What to tell about yourself to interest your interlocutor

In an effort to please your interlocutor, do not forget about yourself: your communication should not be limited only to his person.

In order to present yourself favorably, you need to know a few rules:

When you first talk, don't say too much: your name and age will be enough for the first conversation. Moreover, do not immediately disclose your place of residence, do not lay out all your problems and do not complain about life.
Promote topics that interest you; the interlocutor should not feel like he’s under a microscope when communicating with you, so there should be an exchange of interests on both his and your part. Tell us about your hobbies, where you like to spend your free time, what your thoughts are occupied with in your free time.
Don't insist on your own if your interests diverge. You shouldn’t convince a guy that he must read all of Jane Austen’s novels; leave this topic and find a hobby in which your views converge.

When talking about yourself, keep it light and unobtrusive. Don't go into a cumbersome retelling of your entire life, from diapers to the present. Pay attention to your positive qualities, then your interlocutor will want to continue communication.

Common Mistakes

When trying to make acquaintances on the Internet, many guys make the same mistakes. If you do not allow them, the chances of charming your chosen one increase:

Don't twist the words. If you just met, be serious. Do not use the abbreviations “sps”, “priv”, “laff”, otherwise the interlocutor will think that she is communicating with an elementary school graduate.
Don’t say right away why you decided to meet. Do not push away a stranger by saying that you want to get married in the near future, and she is an ideal candidate for this.
Don't be intrusive. You should not write a huge number of enthusiastic comments about the appearance, character or intelligence of your interlocutor. If a young lady leaves messages unanswered, do not write to her again and again. To get acquainted, one intriguing compliment and a fascinating conversation are enough.
Don't ask for a meeting. If you show assertiveness, this will scare off a serious interlocutor. It's another matter when the goal is a romance without commitment. But you need to make sure in advance that the interlocutor also does not expect a long-term relationship.

It is also impossible to behave too correctly. It's boring. Be yourself, but try to avoid mistakes. We couldn’t charm you right away - that’s normal. Continue the conversation unobtrusively.

Universal topics for conversations with men on social media. networks

There are topics that do not leave any guy indifferent. Knowing them, a girl literally takes power over a man, because you can always carry on a conversation and avoid awkward pauses in communication.

Here are some of them:

Sports . A man does not necessarily have to love sports, but often, if he does like a particular sport, he is immersed in this topic headlong. Ask him more questions about his favorite team, ask him about matches and competitions he has attended: he will talk enthusiastically about his favorite topic.
Cars . Even if a guy doesn't have a car, chances are he still likes them. Learn to distinguish between popular brands and feel free to enter into a discussion: he will be pleased to tell you what he knows about cars.
Technique . Tell the man about the toaster that broke last week and ask for advice. He will launch into an explanation of why this happened and what can be done to solve this problem.
Professional sphere . Whether he is a doctor, a teacher, a mechanic, an IT specialist, or even a student, he will be pleased if you decide to talk about his field of activity. Express your admiration, tell him how difficult his work seems to you, he will definitely not forget it.

Don't try to pretend to have a pleasant conversation, try to really get into the topic and don't pretend to be an enthusiastic listener. Men value girls who can sincerely share their interests.

Food and favorite places to eat

Guys love to eat delicious food and discuss the topic of food. Talk about cafes or restaurants you like to go to. Perhaps correspondence with a guy will turn into a relationship. He will know which cafe you like to go to. He won't have to rack his brains when choosing a place for a date.

It's okay if you don't go to restaurants and prefer to eat at home. Talk about your culinary skills, discuss the cuisine of different countries, favorite dishes, interesting recipes.

How long should you text?

Before you talk to your guy, set a time frame. They are needed in order not to take up personal time from the interlocutor and to maintain the desire to talk next time. For each stage of communication there is a limit, without crossing which you guarantee the continuation of communication.

At first meeting

When meeting a guy for the first time, it is important to talk with him for so long that you leave the desire to continue the conversation later, but not break it off at the most interesting point. There are no clear time limits, but do not forget that you should not lay out all your cards at once; save a few interesting ones for the next correspondence.

With regular correspondence

For those whose communication occurs on a regular basis, there are no strict limits. You can communicate for only an hour a day, or you can spend a whole day on social networks - if you are interested in a conversation, you should not intentionally interrupt the conversation. However, remember that long-term communication should end somewhere if you have never met your interlocutor and all your interaction comes down to communication on social media. networks, you should discuss this issue and transfer your pastime to real life.

To keep the suspense

To maintain constant interaction on social media. networks should maintain intrigue. This is necessary so that communication does not end immediately when the topics for conversation end. Don’t forget to bring something new to conversations; don’t limit yourself to the same type of questions and complain that all the topics for conversation have dried up. Promise your interlocutor to tell you about an incredible story that happened to you today, or hint that you watched an amazing movie, but you can only share all this tomorrow.

Don’t look at your watch when communicating: if you find a really interesting topic, don’t be shy to talk about it. However, do not forget that the guy may have other things to do besides you, do not put pressure on him and be offended that he cannot devote more time to you.

Useful materials for those who want to meet people through social networks

I have put together several courses for you that are aimed at meeting people through social networks. The material can be used not only for VKontakte.

From text to sex

Description . This is the best course on communicating with girls through social networks and instant messengers. It is relevant for everyone who wants to look for love online. Egor Sheremetyev talks about how to write messages to any girl correctly, talk about your feelings correctly and achieve reciprocity.

Let me note that the material is relevant not only at the stage of first acquaintance. The teacher will tell you how and what to talk about between dates, how not to be intrusive and at the same time not lose contact with the one you like.

There is a lot of practice in the program. You will analyze real-life examples of messages and the results they produced. The authors of the messages are Egor Sheremetyev himself and his students.

Author : Egor Sheremetyev.

Cost : 3,750 rub.

Find out more and sign up

How to meet a girl on the Internet for sex or relationship

Description. This course will teach you all the rules of online dating. The teacher has been studying online dating for more than ten years, he has enormous experience, and a lot of students.

You will know how to find a girl to build a relationship with, regular meetings, and communication. If you don’t need any relationship and just want intimacy, you can also easily receive it.

In this course by Roman Vinilov, as in his other projects, you will not need to pretend to be someone, play some roles, pretend, and so on. You will be yourself. Consequently, no psychological stress, only calmness, self-confidence and happy relationships.

Watch the video from the author of the program:

Author: Roman Vinilov.

Cost: from 4,900 rub.

Find out more and sign up

Below I will tell you about three more courses, they are already aimed at dating in general. Take at least one course out of three. Your relationship with a girl will not consist of endless correspondence; sooner or later you will need to meet, move from the virtual world to the real one.

Fearless: How to Start Meeting Girls

Description. This course is more focused on yourself, your personality, than on the dating process. It will be very valuable to guys who, for various reasons, feel insecure, shy of girls and continue to live completely alone.

Egor Sheremetyev will tell you how to gain confidence and stop suffering because of another girl’s refusal to make contact.

The transition from theory to practice can begin after the first lessons of the course. If you are meeting online, invite the girl you like on a date and “just hang out” and in the course of communication, begin to apply all the knowledge and skills that you acquired during the learning process.

Author : Egor Sheremetyev.

Cost : 5,750 rub.

Find out more and sign up

How to meet and seduce a girl: 100 questions and answers

Description . Egor Sheremetyev has been teaching courses on relationships for more than ten years. During this time, he conducted several thousand individual consultations. Their result is the seminar “100 questions and answers: how to meet and seduce a girl.” All the most difficult, problematic and painful things are collected here.

Egor will teach you to overcome psychological barriers, tell you how to correctly move from correspondence on social networks or periodic dates to a permanent relationship or intimacy. How to behave, communicate, dress, even how to touch a girl during and after meeting.

Author : Egor Sheremetyev.

Cost : 997 rubles.

Find out more and sign up

How to build a relationship with a girl

Description . I recommend this course to anyone who wants a permanent relationship with a girl, and is not looking for one-time meetings for sex. Roman Vinilov rightly notes that to build strong relationships you need knowledge and experience, just as to drive a car you need to study at a driving school. It is important to be able to understand the one you love, feel her mood, and be able to communicate. Natural instincts are clearly not enough here.

The minimum age of students for whom this program is suitable is 16 years. There is no maximum age limit. Married men who do not feel the same intoxicating happiness from relationships, guys whose girlfriend has left them, men who, for various reasons, have not dated anyone for several years in a row, often come to Roman’s courses.

They all find solutions to their problems here.

Author : Roman Vinilov.

Cost : 3,500 rub.

School link

These are the best courses. If you know about other programs, please tell us about them in the comments to the article.

What to ask a guy to diversify communication on VKontakte - examples

The same type of questions “how are you?” and “what are you doing?” can bore even the most persistent interlocutor.

In order not to look boring, it is important to always have a few sure-fire questions in stock that can make a guy think:

If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?
If you could choose your superpower, what would it be?
Imagine being able to travel back in time and change history. What would you like to do?
What kind of vacation will you choose, active and extreme or lazy and measured?
Imagine that you caught a goldfish: what 3 wishes would you like to make?
Would you like to become famous? If yes, in what area?
If you were a writer, what would your books be about?

Try to diversify your questions. Even if you want to know more about his relationships with girls, you shouldn't pay too much attention to it. Dilute fantastic questions with ordinary everyday ones, but do not turn communication into a complete quiz. After his answer, don’t be lazy to answer your own question and compare your thoughts on this matter.

Designing the page correctly

A properly designed profile is 80% of success. I'll tell you how to put your page in order and increase the chances of a successful outcome. If you don’t have your own page yet, then quickly register (there’s no way around it) and come back to us.

Avatar

This is your business card. The avatar should be such that when the girl sees it in a small circle next to the message, she wants to click on it. It is best to use the services of a professional photographer - you will see yourself in a new light and fall in love even more.

If you have a good camera, you can do it yourself. Take note of a few tips.

You should be in the photo - this is the main thing. Not David Beckham, not a smiley face, not some kind of animal, and not a philosophical inscription. Otherwise, the girl will suspect that you have a problem with your appearance.
Selfies are not the best option. Too simple and straightforward.
We also discard “passport-like” photographs, leave them for your resume.
There is no need to lay out individual body parts. Of course, I understand that you want to immediately demonstrate your merits, but at least be patient until the girl gets to your albums.
Post a photo of you alone. Okay, you can do the same with a cat.
Do you like cars? Very good! But you shouldn’t take a photo with them for your avatar. Especially with strangers.
You can post a photo in a work environment if your job is prestigious and interesting.
Photos in beautiful places on the planet are also welcome.
Sports attributes produce a good effect. But not all. Surfboard, tennis racket, snowboard, skis - yes. A hoop, a jump rope, a dumbbell weighing 1 kg - no. Naturally, all these bells and whistles should be an addition to you, and not show off on their own (see point 1).
But you should refuse such items as a cigarette and a bottle of beer.
Black and white photographs look beautiful. Just make sure that they are legible and clear, and not like an ultrasound printout.
What kind of guys do girls like? That's right - strong and confident. Try to ensure that your look in the photo conveys these two qualities.

Detox pages

It's time to get rid of everything that can “tarnish” your reputation in the eyes of a girl. First of all, this applies to photographs. Every successful and serious man probably has at least one photo from ten years ago, where he is sleeping drunk after a party, and his beloved friends painted on his mustache. And this is the most harmless example.

You'll have to get rid of all of them. I can see how a stingy man’s tear rolled down your cheek. Calm down, the creators of VK made sure that your provocative photos do not sink into oblivion forever. Create a separate album, in the “Who can view the album” item, select “Only me”, drag all your “forbidden” items there and – voila! - no one except you will see her again. Still a little sad, right?

It is also better to keep photos with former lovers away from prying eyes. You can leave only a couple so as not to seem like an eternal lonely bachelor.

Next we move on to subscriptions. You need to scroll through them and remove everything that has to do with sex, debauchery, nudity, etc. No, but what did you want? Nobody said it was easy.

Let's move on to cleaning the wall. You don’t need rags and brushes, click on the three dots in the upper right corner of each entry and select “delete”. We send stupid and no longer funny jokes, postcards and notifications from various applications, reposts of long-past competitions - in general, everything that does not carry any semantic meaning, but only distracts attention.

You can leave your favorite songs, movies, information about what you are interested in and love. Do not delete posts asking for help for homeless animals and sick children, if any. Kind and compassionate men are worth their weight in gold today.

Are you tired of reading yet? Here's a video, take a break for a moment.

Personal information

We got rid of all the unnecessary stuff, now we need to fill the page with something. We go to the “About yourself” column and indicate the most basic things - gender, date of birth (optional), education (not necessary, but it would be nice).

Special attention to the item “Marital status”. We either leave it empty or select “not married”. You shouldn’t write “actively searching” there - the girl may decide that you, like a hungry animal, are scouring the Internet in search of something to “profit from.” And you need to try to make her consider your attention to her exclusive.

You can briefly provide information about your hobbies, musical preferences, and favorite books. The key word is short, no need to create a ten-page dossier.

Speaking of books. Reading men make a simply magical impression on reading girls. So, if you haven’t been into reading before, now is the time. Start with the classics, you can't go wrong.

Photo cards

Share photos on your page. You don’t need a lot at once – once or twice every few days. It is desirable that it is not just a face staring at you from the elevator mirror, but something meaningful and interesting.

How you work, how you play sports, how unusual and fun you spend time with friends, how you travel, etc. The girl should get the impression that you have a rich and exciting life. Then she will certainly want to become a part of it.

By the way, the taboo on photos with cars no longer applies here, you can safely post photos of your iron horse.

About films and music, books

Conversations about cinema, favorite music and interesting books bring people together, so it is worth emphasizing them.
When discussing music, remember that everyone has different tastes. If he is into a genre of music that you don’t like, don’t impose your opinion on him, don’t speak negatively about his preferences. Respect your interlocutor. Only loyalty and an adequate attitude will help you spend time having a pleasant conversation. The same applies to discussions of films, cartoons, and TV series.

It is not at all necessary to agree with the interlocutor and forget about your point of view. If you want to express a negative assessment of a work of art, criticize it in a constructive manner.

If you can keep up a conversation about the books you’ve read, you’ll immediately grow in a guy’s eyes. Men love erudite and well-read girls.

Humor

Why not laugh heartily while chatting on VK with a cute guy? Good laughter, humorous themes and jokes will be appropriate and enjoyable. You can start a conversation by sharing a funny video, internet meme, anecdote, or life story with your guy.

The main thing is not to stoop to offensive jokes, ridiculing someone or outright vulgarity. Laughter should be good.

Attention! Conversations on humorous topics are a real lifesaver. If during a dialogue it becomes boring or goes south, a sparkling joke can revive it.

Relationship

If there is a spark between you and there is a possibility that you will start a relationship, then you can ask the guy the following questions and additionally “test the waters”:

If I had to move to another city or region, would you go with me?
What do you like most about me?
What do you think the ideal date should be like?
What are the key components of a harmonious relationship?
What action will you never forgive your significant other?
Do you think a woman should have a career or devote herself to her family?
Is it permissible for parents to interfere in the life of a young couple?
What should a girl do if her boyfriend is in a very bad mood?
Are you ready to sacrifice something for your beloved?
What makes a girl beautiful and attractive in your eyes?

Should I text him first?

Although there is a stereotype that a girl should not make the first move, in reality this is not necessarily the case. The guy should be more active in developing the relationship, but if he doesn’t even know that you exist, then why not point it out to him?

If you miss out on a potential soul mate, then no amount of pride can justify such a mistake. Take an example from the Japanese. It is customary for them that the girl makes the first step - and as a result, the number of divorces in their country is one and a half times less than ours. So feel free to write first.

Modern technologies

It is difficult to imagine a person who would not enjoy the benefits of civilization. Many guys are sincerely interested in computer equipment, video games, various gadgets and other devices that make life more convenient and interesting. The guy will be delighted if the girl is also “in the know” and can discuss his favorite game with him.

If you don’t know anything about games and computers, then first read about his favorite game or watch a video. This will help maintain the theme and not look stupid.

Attention! Many girls use a trick and simply ask a guy for advice about a malfunctioning phone or a freezing computer.