100 original and funny answers to the question “How are you?”

Incredible facts

Hi, how are you? The easiest way to answer this question would be “Everything is fine.”

However, this answer sounds rather boring and predictable.

In fact, this question can be a great way to start an interesting conversation .

.

If you are tired of ordinary, no different phrases, this list will be a real salvation for you.

Choose one of the answers,

which will be a breath of fresh air in your daily communication.

Who knows where this conversation will take you.

Regular answers

The most common options are neutral, as laconic as possible. You should not indulge in long discussions on the topic, unless, of course, you want to be considered a bore. If the interlocutor asks a question not out of banal politeness, he himself will clarify the points that interest him.

If all is good

When you're in a great mood, be sure to share positive emotions. Remember the song about why it is important to share a smile with the world and others?

1. “It’s either just cool or very cool.”
2. “All in a bundle!”
3. “Cool, maybe there will be more!”
4. "All OK".
5. “There is not a single reason to complain.”
6. “If I share the details, you’ll be jealous, so I’ll answer briefly: everything is super.”
7. “I feel like a cat: I’m constantly purring with pleasure.”
8. "Great".
9. "The best!".
10. “Great plans! Enslave the world, for example.”

If everything is truly wonderful, it doesn’t matter what words you use to convey it. Intonation will more clearly indicate a favorable state of mind than words, and you will definitely charge your interlocutor with a good mood.

If things go wrong

Of course, you can answer sharply negatively so that they definitely stop asking further questions, however, it is better to stay within the bounds of politeness. You can report a negative mood like this:

1. “It’s like after a well-spent New Year’s Eve.”
2. “I think you know the answer? We both live in Russia.”
3. “I live in an atmosphere that flies would appreciate.”
4. “Shit.”
5. “Like driving a six in a car race.”
6. “It’s like I’m sitting on an unsuccessful fishing trip: it seems to bite often, but only a trifle.”
7. “It’s like traveling on a ship, only with seasickness.”
8. “Breathtaking! You know what happens in creepy thrillers? I feel like the main character.”
9. “Glad to be alive.”
10. “Like a button: every day I climb into a noose.”

A bad mood is not a reason to press your interlocutor for pity. An overly pessimistic attitude may discourage him from talking to you in the future. Learn to present information about any life circumstances without spreading a negative mood to those who are polite.

986 questions to ask a guy over text or when meeting

Let's sum it up

It turns out that the question “How are you?” is universal. It can be asked simply when you want to develop a conversation with an interesting person, or when there are serious suspicions that everything in your interlocutor’s life is really not going well. There are still many situations when it will be appropriate and will allow communication between two people to move from the stage of simple acquaintance to a closer friendship.

The main thing is not to ask this question just for show and to show false concern.

Unfortunately, many people do just this, wanting to show themselves as sympathetic. The question must be asked sincerely. This will be very pleasant for the interlocutor, who will readily respond with good news or share his experiences.

Funny options

Jokes are most appropriate in a friendly dialogue, but with people you barely know or with your boss it is better to be more serious. It is unknown how humor like this will be received:

1. “It’s like I’m forced to go on a business trip by plane: I feel terrible, but I have to fly.”
2. “Like an autumn leaf: I don’t know which wind will blow it away in the next moment and where.”
3. “All cases have been transferred to the prosecutor.”
4. “Like in the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm: the further you read them, the scarier they become.”
5. “It’s a bit difficult without sedatives.”
6. “Average for the area.”
7. “No business today!”

Rhyming answers can sound funny, even if they are about sad things. For example:

1. “My heart has been incinerated, and my flesh has already been burned to ashes, but still my saddest affairs are going on magnificently.”
2. “Everything is fine, I’m sleeping on the lampshade.”
3. "How's it going? Not a bump on my head!”

Make your interlocutor laugh if you are already tired of ordinary questions, and perhaps the conversation will take an interesting direction.

Original answers

If the question seems inappropriate, or you don't trust the person instigating the dialogue enough, you're unlikely to be willing to sincerely share personal details. Original options will come to the rescue:

1. “Business is going great, but its direction is unknown.”
2. “Okay, just random.”
3. “It’s like being in a taxi: the more comfortably I travel, the more I’ll pay.”
4. “I feel like a zebra.”
5. “Those who are doing something have things to do, but I’m resting.”
6. “I’m sad that children in Africa are starving.”
7. "Everything is relative. Compared to the affairs of a multimillionaire, not very much.”
8. “I’ll say that it’s cool - you won’t believe it; I’ll say it sucks - you can’t help.”
9. “I think it is not necessary to answer if there is nothing to answer.”
10. “Next question please!”

If you avoid a direct answer, but do it in an original way, you disarm your interlocutor and win him over.

Have you asked? We answer!

How much do you earn?

• Enough for life.
• Thank you, I'm not complaining.
• Of course, I would like more, but who wouldn’t want it, right?

When will you get married/have kids?

• Everything has its time.
• When we are ready to take on such responsibility.
• As soon as possible.

Why were you fired?

• Long story. Better tell me how you are doing.
• Oh, everything is so complicated there, I don’t want to burden you with details.
• Because everything comes to an end and it’s time to move on.

Witty options

Even when there is a bad streak in life, it is not necessary to let your interlocutor know about it and ruin his mood. Keep the conversation going with sparkling phrases.

1. “Chocolate! Sticky and brown.”
2. “Like wet sugar. I don’t get enough sleep at all.”
3. “It’s normal until the valerian runs out.”
4. “As always, so-so, but it’s wonderful: I love stability so much.”
5. “How can things get done if it’s such a snowstorm/heat outside?”
6. “I just received my salary, my mood exactly matches its size.”
7. “Young life passes by and leaves the old.”
8. “As long as I live, I don’t plan to die.”
9. “Haven’t killed anyone yet.”
10. “Oh, so much has not been done, and so much remains to be done...”

You can get to know a guy better by asking questions!

You yourself will feel better if you present unfavorable life circumstances with humor. Well, if everything is good, even more so, you can joke fun.

Unexpected answers

If you want to arouse the interest of your interlocutor, avoid standard options. The more original the answer, the more likely it is that you will intrigue the person, and he will want to ask what exactly you meant.

1. “Like an elephant: constantly with ears on the cheeks.”
2. “Who knows, doesn’t ask. And whoever asks doesn’t know.”
3. “Semper in motu.”
4. “There’s no business at all, I’m not a business person.”
5. "Just like others".
6. “Everything is great, just yesterday I received a Nobel Prize for my contribution to the development of science.”
7. “Great, I look forward to further questions about my personal life.”
8. “Like 5 minutes ago.”
9. “Tell me about everything at once or in parts?”
10. “Everything is piling up, and I can’t finish it”

The listed answers can turn the conversation in a completely unexpected direction, since if the interlocutor is interested in you, new questions will definitely follow.

Snarky options

Etiquette is etiquette, but sometimes you just want to tease your interlocutor if you have the feeling that he is not sincerely interested in matters. And then you can answer like this:

1. “I really didn’t want to upset you, but, alas, everything is fine!”
2. “Poor, miserable me... I’m already tired of figuring out how to answer banal questions every day.”
3. “Everything was fine until I met you.”
4. “Better than some.”
5. “I am simply ecstatic from your questions. Ask me how I spent my day, and I will be simply captivated.”
6. “You are incomparably original in your questions.”
7. “I don’t think you’re interested.”
8. “I haven’t lost enough weight yet to have a dialogue with you.”
9. “Just like you asked, it immediately felt great, I missed it so much!”
10. “Lately I’ve been training my pet to answer such questions.”

Love changes over time or still weakens

All of these answer options will make it clear to the interlocutor that you have no intention of continuing the dialogue.

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

• I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
• Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
• I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
• I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
• Great, unlike some.
• Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

Answers according to circumstances

In order not to put yourself in an awkward position, it is important to understand that different responses are appropriate in a dialogue with different people.

At work

It’s common to joke with colleagues that things aren’t going well.

1. “Like a future millionaire: there is a desire to become one, but there is no money yet.”
2. “No better than a squirrel in a wheel.”
3. “Like a native, I walk around naked and eat figs.”
4. “Like potatoes: either they will be eaten within a year, or they will be planted.”
5. “Like a ball: they cheated and even kicked.”
6. "How are you? A lot of them. Do you want me to share?”
7. “It’s like being in the harem of a Turkish sultan. I know that they will definitely fuck, but it’s not clear when.”

In a dialogue with your boss, it is better to be serious, answer concisely, specifically and carefully integrate information about a specific achievement. For example:

1. “I’ve just started working on the project, and the results are already exceeding my wildest expectations.”
2. “I read a new book and am now implementing the knowledge I gained in life.”
3. “I learned a new skill and now I feel head and shoulders above.”

Take advantage of every opportunity to highlight your strengths: your boss will definitely make a positive mental note about you.

In conversation with parents

When you communicate with loved ones, it is better to refrain from barbs. Parents can take bad jokes to heart.

1. "Affairs? Let’s leave them to the businessmen, and let’s go have fun.”
2. “No changes, consistently good.”
3. “It’s great, because I communicate with wonderful people.”
4. “Wonderful, and I wish the same for you.”
5. “Today is even better than yesterday.”
6. “Everything is fine: growing, blooming.”
7. “Things are going well, life is in full swing.”
8. “Stable.”
9. “Through your prayers.”
10. “It’s good to be around you.”

Parents are absolutely sincerely interested in matters, so it is not necessary to limit yourself to a short answer. Share the details of your personal life and be sure to ask your loved ones answer questions.

In a conversation with a stranger

If you are interested in a person who is trying to get to know you, you should not answer briefly. On the other hand, talking at length can make you seem like a bore. Therefore, you can answer a question with a question in order to understand how detailed a conversation the stranger is still inclined to have. For example:

1. “Are you in no hurry?”
2. "And what do you think?".

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You can also demonstrate mutual interest with phrases containing a response question: “How are you doing?” If the stranger doesn’t appeal to you at all, increase the distance:

1. “Sluggish.”
2. “A question like that is a sure way to stump me.”
3. “I find it difficult to answer.”
4. "It depends on what you compare it to".
5. “When they don’t ask stupid questions, it’s actually pretty good.”
6. “I don’t think you’re really interested in this.”
7. “I’m going crazy with useless questions.”
8. “I’m thinking about how to get rid of an annoying interlocutor.”

Try to respond less often with rudeness; even strangers should be shown respect. After all, how you treat others is how they will treat you.

Answers to the guy you like

If you are a girl and not a modest one, you can take the bull by the horns:

1. “It’s like being on the Internet: click, like, and go to bed.”
2. “Like on Mars: there doesn’t seem to be any life, but I’m all on fire.”
3. “Great, I’m improving. Will you keep company?”
4. "Super. I guess everyone is jealous of me, because I get to chat with such a handsome guy.”
5. “I'm searching.”
6. “I’m in the mood to share my phone number.”
7. “It’s like I came to a buffet table: I’m standing there, embarrassed to ask for what I want.”

Still, in the first conversation it is better not to cross a certain line of decency. Try to stand out from other girls with a non-trivial answer, but it’s better if it’s not vulgar. Create some intrigue:

1. “I’m in a great mood, I’d like to go for a walk, but so far I haven’t received any offers from anyone...”
2. “Guess what, I’m giving you the opportunity to ask leading questions.”
3. “Wonderful, but it’s not very comfortable to have a conversation in the rain, I would like to go to a more comfortable place.”

The listed options are a sure way to win over a handsome guy you barely know.

Options for your ex

That's where there is room for your imagination! It all depends on how you broke up and what impression you want to create about yourself now. So the answer options can be completely different, from flirty hints about spending time together to distant phrases and even a little harsh:

1. “Try to guess three times! If it works, I’ll have a cup of coffee.”
2. “There is a bottle of a wonderful five-star, if only you were nearby - and everything would be fine.”
3. “Like a chocolate bar in the sun, I melt sweetly...”
4. “Wonderful, because I’m talking to you.”
5. "Guess! I’ll give you a hint: I sincerely smile during our dialogue.”
6. “Everything is stable, unchanged. It looks like there’s even a circle of interlocutors.”
7. “I’m doing some soul-searching.”
8. “What do you think? If you become a nuisance to a great time.”
9. “I don’t think you have any reason to be interested in this?”
10. Banal: “I haven’t given birth yet.”

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There is no universal option for your ex; decide for yourself which one is right for you.

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

• How are you doing?
• What's up?
• Like at home?
• How are things going, really?
• What are you doing?
• How was your day?
• What happened at work (school)?
• What did you do today?
• What are your plans for the future?
• How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

Answers in English

If the instigator of the conversation decided to be original and asked: “How are you?” — answer in the appropriate language.

1. “I'm fine” is a standard option if you want to demonstrate that you are not particularly in the mood for a sincere conversation.
2. “Pretty good” is a more emotional option if everything is good.
3. “Very well, thanks,” - similar.
4. “Great.”
5. “As usual” - if nothing special has happened recently.
6. “So-so” - when things are so-so.
7. “Not bad” - if not bad.
8. “Pretty bad” - if everything is bad.
9. “All the better for seeing you” - if you want to emphasize how pleasant it is for you to be near your interlocutor.
10. “Why?”, an option for those who want to escape the dialogue, roughly means: “What?”

They probably won’t expect more detailed answers from you, especially if the interlocutor is a native English speaker. In his homeland the question is: “How are you?” often sounds on par with a simple greeting, and etiquette dictates that you answer succinctly.

Don't want to be considered a bore? Then you should not always answer any questions from your interlocutors sincerely and in detail. Now you know exactly how you can avoid banal answers to the daily question: “How are you?” Explore new ways to spice up everyday conversations and make them more interesting.