You know this feeling when you have been courting a girl for a long time, dreaming of how you will be together, how you will become happy.
Of course, you can’t get these thoughts out of your head and constantly think about her. She is the most beautiful woman in the world - you are sure of it. There has never been anyone like her anywhere.
Her laughter sounds like the gentle ringing of bells.
Her voice is like heavenly music.
The sight of her makes your heart beat a thousand beats per minute.
You know that if she were always by your side, you would become the happiest man in the world and would never want to exchange her for anyone else.
You may have never believed in marriage, a soul mate, or “the one” before, but for her sake you are willing to make an exception and give up your beliefs.
You will do anything for her.
Well, as you already well know, I’m not one of those who spread lies, embellish or sell fables to people. Therefore, I will immediately warn you that this post is not about how to finally win the girl you want and make her yours.
Instead, I'll talk about how you can take back control of your thoughts, emotions, heart, and love life.
And how to become truly happy by attracting worthy women into your life, and not sitting in splendid isolation at home and not living dreams of an idealized version of a flawless girl (who actually does not exist).
Our thoughts
Let's start with the fact that today everyone believes that thoughts are material. However, people have respected thoughts since ancient times. We all know that before we say something, we need to think carefully. This is the kind of advice wise people give.
From a metaphysical point of view, thoughts are a certain bunch of energy. This energy has a specific direction and may contain some information. In addition, it has a certain vibration frequency; at high intensity it can take on one form or another.
We make an excursion into metaphysics for a reason. Based on the understanding that thought is energy, we can understand why another person feels something when we think about him or her intently. The question of the origin and influence of thoughts has been of interest to scientists for a long time. There was an opinion that our brain produces thoughts like some other organ - a secret.
By the end of the 19th century, scientists came to the conclusion that it was impossible to explain how certain thoughts appeared in the brain. To date, this opinion has been preserved in principle, but it has been slightly expanded. Thus, researchers believe that thoughts and everything mental that is in our brain not only exists and is there, but is projected onto the world around us.
How does this affect the other person?
If you constantly think about a person, does he feel it? Yes, but he may not even realize it. When we think, we form a certain mental image and project it into the world around us. And then the thought itself, with a certain energy charge, reaches the addressee, that is, the person you were thinking about.
In other words, she seems to invade his space. But it is also believed that if you think about someone for a long time, you can form a psychological channel of communication with each other. That is why if you constantly think about a person, he feels it. If you fully understand this statement, then a lot becomes clear.
Often a girl can behave feignedly, coolly and distantly when she wants to show a young man that he is indifferent to her. Nevertheless, she constantly thinks about him, mentally returning to him again and again. But the young man does not know this, and for some time he is fooled by the girl’s game that she is indifferent to him, but then begins to lose interest. Why is this happening? This happens because subconsciously he feels some kind of conflict between the external and internal essence of the girl.
In fact, he cannot even explain to himself the reasons for the fading of his interest, but in fact they are very simple. It would be much better if the girl did not hide her true feelings. Of course, you don’t need to throw yourself on someone’s neck, but it is important to be sincere in expressing your feelings.
It is also important to be your own person. Many relationship coaches talk about this. They insist that a girl should have her own space, that she should be interesting and busy. Some understand the meaning of this message, but others treat it superficially. They just create the appearance that they have a bright and interesting life. But we must understand that the world is not so stupid, everything is much more complex and deeper. At a subconscious level, a person still understands another person, feels what interests and thoughts he lives with. That is why there is no point in lying. You are wasting your mental energy and time trying to create some kind of appearance. This is absolutely pointless; it’s better to spend this time finding something to do and have fun. So, we can conclude that if you miss a person, he feels it. And it is true.
Special girl
What if I told you that it's not her that you like, but the anticipation of something cool, the unknown, the anticipation of not knowing whether you will get her or not, the excitement and dream that one day you will succeed and feel like a winner?
I remember in the late 90s the Kinder Surprise series of toys was popular. Despite my masculinity, brutality and dislike for sweets, I was really addicted to them.
The Kinder Surprise series of toys worked like this: you buy a chocolate egg with a toy, but you never know what you'll get.
I had a fold out brochure that showed all the toys in the series.
And, as luck would have it, I never came across some of them.
There was no Internet back then so I could exchange with someone, so I stubbornly continued to buy chocolate surprise eggs.
This process was very exciting and exciting for me. I was hoping to finally collect the entire series.
During the unpacking process, I experienced a whole range of emotions, excitement, joyful anticipation, impatience.
Sometimes disappointment gave way to triumphant victory when I came across a long-awaited copy.
Looking back at those times, we can say that such excitement was akin to drug addiction or some kind of obsession. For me it was something new, bright, tasty and emotionally rich.
Because of this, I could lie awake for a long time and dream of how soon I would become the proud owner of a complete collection.
Getting powerful, obsessive feelings about something or someone, be it a toy, a woman, or something else, comes from several stimuli:
- You want to find something (cool toy, perfect girl).
- You can't get it right away.
- You start working hard and trying to get what you want, but you can't.
- You still don't give up on this idea and continue your attempts.
- You constantly feel like you're about to reach your goal, so you need to put in a little more effort.
- You don't give up on your dreams and you don't back down.
- You continue to invest more and more, your costs increase, you feel like you are one step closer to victory.
- You start thinking about it constantly, obsessing over this topic.
- You are no longer interested in anything, you no longer resist your obsession.
- This process continues, you plunge headlong into your obsession.
This is what happens to normal guys.
That's why I repeat so often in my articles that guys shouldn't chase girls, because the very fact of chasing becomes more valuable to you than the girl herself, because you invest too much in it.
I drew these conclusions from my own experience.
I won’t bore you with all the details, I’ll go straight to the conclusions.
A few months ago, I was browsing through a movie with my girlfriend on my laptop, and she noticed a folder labeled “Girls.”
She was understandably interested and asked me what was in it. I created this folder many years ago and decided that there was nothing wrong with opening it.
It contained photos of girls I'd once had crushes on, including a photo of that "special" girl I'd been obsessed with for eight years!
Yes, you read that correctly, it's not a typo.
For almost ten years of my life I pined for the same girl. Wow.
Anyway, back to the story.
For almost 10 years, this girl was the most incredible, amazing, special, ideal woman for me.
During these 8 years I constantly tried to gain control of my mind.
I tried to find at least some flaws in it.
I convinced myself that she was not perfect, no better than other girls.
I understood that she was regularly fucked by other men and she didn’t even remember me.
I had to move on. But he couldn't. She was the only purpose in my life.
So, I sat with my current girlfriend and looked at a photo of “the one and only” who had once been a big part of my life.
Several years ago it seemed to me that I could not live without her, and this obsessive thought at that moment seemed to me the only true one.
"Who is this woman? She's kind of scary. And her look is mad,” my girlfriend asked, not knowing anything about my experiences.
“Scary?” — I asked, a little stunned by such an opinion from the outside.
"Yes! Look at her!”
I really haven't seen her photo for a long time. And, in this strange, surreal moment, I looked and realized that she was right.
Here is this girl who for a very long time was for me the most beautiful girl in the world. And many of my friends really considered her the first beauty.
Perhaps, compared to all the other girls around her, she was one of the best.
But later I noticed that all her friends were clearly not beautiful.
This seemed strange to me. Usually, sexy girls try to find equally beautiful, sexy friends for themselves in order to have fun with them.
But when my girlfriend said she was “ugly,” I suddenly saw the light and looked at the photo from a sharper, more objective perspective.
I wouldn't say she's ugly, but I wouldn't say she's anything special either. She was just a little better than the other girls in our group.
But this was far from the standard of female beauty.
It was like waking up from a dream.
I remember many years ago checking this girl's Facebook page to see how her life was going and what she was doing.
I learned that she had a bachelor's degree from a fairly prestigious university, spent her free time hanging out with friends, still lived in our hometown and worked at a real estate agency.
A completely normal life.
There is nothing special, unique, amazing or exceptional about it. She is not bad, not good, just a normal, ordinary person.
How the hell did I spend ten years of my life obsessing over her even though she lived her simple life and didn't remember my existence?
Interesting confirmation
The fact is that the ideas we are considering have received their justification. The best way to trace a mental connection is between spouses or couples who communicate closely and love each other. At the same time, a strong communication channel is formed between them.
Such people can, even at a distance from each other, simultaneously do the same things, experience similar feelings, think about the same things. This is a very interesting phenomenon that shows how close people really are to each other and how close one can become to others. There is also a strong bond between parents and children, but only if they are on good terms.
How do you know that someone is constantly thinking about you?
Now let’s consider the main topic of our article and try to find out what will happen if you constantly think about a person. We will tell you about the main signs that will help you find out whether they are thinking about you or not. Do not assume that these are funny and frivolous signs.
If we consider this situation from the point of view of metaphysics and energy, it becomes clear that there are certain scientific facts behind all this. And the main thing is that a person feels a lot on a subconscious and emotional level, even if he is not aware of it. You've probably noticed that you have certain thoughts or feelings, although there is no apparent reason for their occurrence. This suggests that, most likely, you were influenced by some unconscious attitudes, that is, by someone from the outside, at a distance.
Unexpected emotionality
If you constantly think about a person, then, most likely, he will experience a strong surge of emotions. The same can be said about you if someone constantly keeps you in their thoughts. Surely you are familiar with this state, because it often happens that you are doing something calmly, measuredly and confidently, but for a moment you are overcome by a strong inner joy that does not have any external reasons.
It may also be that you are doing something, but some kind of sadness or melancholy comes over you. This happens quite often if you constantly think about a person. Psychology describes this phenomenon with the word “attachment.” In fact, people tend to perceive it negatively, but affection can also be positive. In this case, as you may have guessed, a connection is formed between people. The most interesting thing is that a surge of emotions and other manifestations can occur in a person who is constantly thinking about someone, and in the one who is being thought about.
Divert attention
Switching to an exciting activity will help you cope with stress and stop thinking about the girl. No matter how hard it is, you should focus on work, study, or, for example, do something completely new and unusual. Let's say you've long dreamed of attending boxing classes, but you didn't have enough time. Now it's time to implement plans and say goodbye to the past.
After breaking up with a girl, it is very important not to give up your usual pleasures and joys. Allow yourself to be happy. For some men, going to the gym helps. The guy becomes more confident, and the relief on his stomach will attract the best and most beautiful girls on the planet into his life.
Dreams
These are the doors to our unconscious state. If you haven’t dreamed of a person for a long time, and then he suddenly appears in a dream, then perhaps some kind of energetic connection has arisen between you. Perhaps he is thinking about you, so it makes sense to contact him.
And if you are constantly thinking about a young man, then quickly get busy with your own life and distract yourself, because the object of your affection will most likely feel the emotional energy directed at him and cool down a little, because you will no longer be as inaccessible as before.
Mysterious smile and sparkling eyes
The psychologist’s opinion on why it is normal to constantly think about a person is that we are social creatures, we need communication. At the same time, psychology suggests observing yourself or others in the company of certain people.
So, if when someone appears in the company you begin to feel joy, you simply glow and constantly smile, then this person means a lot to you. This seems obvious, but you may not be aware of your joy. Perhaps someone told you that in certain situations you become very welcoming and friendly, although you yourself did not notice it. Also observe how other people react to you. If you notice a long smile and happy eyes, then most likely the person thinks a lot about you and does not even realize that he is so happy about your presence.
In sight
If someone is constantly thinking about you, then this person most likely strives to constantly keep you in their sight. This is because he wants to be closer to you. This is a good way to determine whether your partner is interested in you.
So, if he is interested in you, wants to know with whom and how you spend your time, then he really is not indifferent to you. At the same time, remember that he may not look directly at you, but nevertheless he will always think and make sure that everything is fine with you if you are nearby.
Replacing a partner
Many men believe that in order not to think about their ex, they just need to find new love. But most psychologists do not recommend using this method. Firstly, if you love a person, you will definitely compare others with him. So, with a 95% probability, new passions will lose to their ex. This will only make the man even more upset and freak out.
On the other hand, isolating yourself from any contact and remaining alone in such a situation is also not recommended. Chat with friends and acquaintances, have fun and relax. Keep a certain distance with girls. Perhaps there is a lady in your circle who will tell you an effective way to stop thinking about the girl you love.
You should enter into a new relationship only when you do not idealize your ex. When communicating with the fair sex, compare and analyze why you are so fixated on past relationships and what exactly is holding you back. After some time, you will notice that the girls around you are no worse than the one that has been in your head for so long. And then you can start flirting with them. A few fleeting romances will greatly boost your self-esteem and relieve sadness.
Folk signs
You may have repeatedly had thoughts like, “Why do I keep thinking about him?” In this case, most likely you have fallen in love. There is no need to dramatize this event; it is better to rejoice and let this feeling into your life. If you cannot calm down and want to find out whether the object of your affection reciprocates your feelings, then watch yourself.
So, people believe that if your ears are burning or itching, then it is quite possible that someone is persistently thinking about you. If earlier this was considered a common sign, today researchers say that the human body and brain are closely interconnected. Sometimes we are not even aware of this connection, yet it exists.
Of course, you shouldn't exaggerate everything. If you suffer from allergies, then this is simply a physiological feature, and not another person’s constant thoughts about you.
But since we are talking about signs, we will add that if your left ear itches, perhaps someone is discussing you in a negative way. If your right ear is bothering you, then someone is saying something good, so you can relax.
Guilt
Remorse can ruin anyone's life. And, of course, if your significant other, before breaking up, made it clear that it was you who were to blame, the feeling of guilt will haunt you endlessly. And it is urgent to get rid of it. What happened cannot be returned; besides, in every conflict, as a rule, both are to blame. If you are thinking about how to stop thinking about a girl, and not about how to get her back, then you understand that this union has exhausted itself. And if this is so, then feeling guilty will no longer help you.
Sudden sneezing
If you don’t know why you constantly think about one person, but want to understand whether he is interested in you, then you can turn to another belief. Do you suddenly sneeze, especially several times? Most likely, someone misses you. Again, if you are just sick or suffer from allergies, then there is no reason for this.
It also often happens that a person begins to blush for no reason at all. That is, he is in a calm atmosphere, has not been in the cold before, has not changed his activity in any way, but nevertheless he begins to blush. It's even more like a fever. If this happens to you, then be sure that someone is thinking about you, perhaps his thoughts have gone far beyond the bounds of decency.
Unique techniques from experienced psychologists
Not everyone succeeds in coping with depression and independently finding the answer to the question of how to stop thinking about the girl they like. But only 10% of men turn to psychologists for help. If it is difficult for you to open up to a stranger, then you should learn about the techniques that psychologists most often use in their classes.
- Letter to an ex. In order to let a person go, you need to tell him everything you think and feel. Write a letter in which you state everything that you would like to tell her, but did not dare. If the breakup is your fault, don't forget to ask for forgiveness. This letter does not have to be sent. But by putting your thoughts and feelings on paper, you can easily get rid of them.
- Meditations. Do you still think that this is an inappropriate occupation for a man? Then you have to choose: either lie down and relax or continue to suffer. So, take a comfortable position. Imagine that you are standing in front of a large door. You open it and see new life. You are a successful person, strong and courageous. If during meditation the image of your ex pops up in your thoughts, make it colorless. Do you see how it has already turned into a transparent veil and seems to be disappearing? This is how it should be, soon this image will not come at all.
Such simple techniques really help guys get out of depression and return to normal life. But if you are wondering how to stop thinking about girls forever, you are haunted by obsessive thoughts and ideas, then it may make sense to contact an experienced psychologist. Various situations happen in life, and if banal advice helps one man, then you need to work with another only personally.
In any case, even with the help of a specialist, you won’t be able to get rid of thoughts about your ex right away. Therefore, always remember that it was just a girl who left you, but not love. The time will come, and you will experience this feeling again, but for a completely different person.
