Anchoring technique

NLP: anchoring men and women

Anchoring comes from NLP and has become firmly established in everyday life. It is used to enter the flow state and achieve the desired resource state. There was already a very detailed article on this topic, so I’ll say it briefly:

Anchors are persistent associations associated with a specific external stimulus and help to quickly switch from one mood to another.

This associative feature of the technique is convenient to use in relationships. There are many benefits:

strengthening the connection between a man and a woman;
quick way out of conflict situations or preventing them;
long-term positive relationships;
easy reconciliation;
creating a sincere atmosphere in a couple.

Autoprogramming technique using anchors

Knowing the mechanisms and principles of NLP anchoring, you can consciously program yourself for positive changes, as well as eliminate unwanted stimuli from the outside. To find hidden energy resources and create a favorable anchor, you must follow the following algorithm.

At the beginning of work, you will need to determine the specific problem situation in which the anchor will be used. For example, you have to take an exam soon, but you lack confidence. Or you need to ask your boss for a well-deserved increase in salary, but there is not enough persistence, etc.
At the next stage, it is important to clearly and unmistakably understand what internal resource is missing. During the exam it means self-confidence, and in the upcoming trip to the boss it means perseverance.
Then you should remember the real events where this resource state was experienced most vividly. Even the most insecure or conformist person has days when he feels determined or assertive. It is ideal to have several such examples, colored with bright positive emotions.
It is important that the memory be unambiguous, i.e. caused only the necessary sensation. If the stimulus is ambiguous, it will lead to the emergence of the desired feeling and anchor others - unwanted ones, which cannot help solve the problem, but will only make it worse.
It is better to choose an object that activates the required energy resource - for example, a song, listening to which a person felt very confident. Producing the desired feeling, this melody must be played many times to relieve uncertainty in the exam. Such an anchor can be a material object. Persistence is associated with the color red, so to demand a well-deserved increase in salary, you can go to your boss with any red accessory.
The next stage is consciously entering the desired state through meditation. Having taken a comfortable position and relaxed, it is worth vividly remembering the situation where the desired resource was at its very peak. In parallel, exposure to an external stimulus will be required: a melody, an object, a photograph. Once in a memory, you need to feel the moment and consolidate its positive effect. Don't be afraid of this condition. The more resource anchors and time it takes to “rehearse” the desired feeling, the better.
Having learned to immerse yourself in such an atmosphere at home, you can move to the “field”. What is meant here is not the case for which all the preparation took place, but a less global problem. If you needed self-confidence, you can test it in communication with unfamiliar people. If, when interacting with them, you can reproduce the desired resource, proceed to the next stage.
As a result, having found the long-awaited feeling, begin to resolve the problem, be it passing an exam or asking for a salary increase. In the situation itself, a feeling of anxiety will arise, but it is overcome by rehearsed stimuli. It is worth remembering that there must be several anchors, and their reproduction takes so long to learn how to easily enter the desired state.

Anchoring in NLP is a useful method with which you can program yourself for success in almost any area. Knowing the basic principles of this phenomenon, you can protect yourself from the imposition of negative anchors from the outside. The recommendations given will be useful in family relationships, work, business, etc.

Techniques: anchoring a man

The anchoring technique in relationships with a man is no different from anchoring women. The essence is the same - creating a binding based on kinetic, auditory, visual or other influence.

The most common techniques:

Tactile. Touching, kissing or hugging at the peak of positive emotions. For example, shaking a wrist or stroking a shoulder in a moment of happiness, joy, or even while laughing. By repeating this movement many times - from 10 to 30 times - you can subsequently use the selected gesture to calm your loved one in moments of anger and rage.
Visual. Many families have their own “sexy” outfits or “I don’t want sex today” items. They appear over time on their own, but you can also program them. For example, seduce a man in stockings, only in red lingerie or a provocatively short skirt. Then this or even a similar outfit will evoke only thoughts. And they will definitely be unchaste.
Smells. There are many fragrances today, and you can easily choose the one that will be just “yours.” Then even a drop of perfume can remind a man of pleasant moments together. Scented candles, seasonings, and the smells of ready-made delicious dishes have a similar effect.
Music. The term “our song” as an element of lyrics and memories is often found both in cinema and in everyday life. But this is also an anchor. Additionally, you can anchor a man with kind words when meeting or saying goodbye, some invented nicknames, code phrases.

How to use anchors

The anchoring mechanism is firmly inscribed in our psyche, so it is not only possible, but also necessary to use it. The main thing is that it is constructive and environmentally friendly towards yourself and others. To begin with, of course, it is worth learning to manage yourself before setting anchors for others. This, by the way, can also be used in a constructive way: for example, by touching to convey to your child a state of relaxation and calm if he is excited, or using visual or other anchors to create a joyful mood for household members or loved ones.

First of all, let's clarify some terms that may be useful to us. First, anchoring is the process of associating a specific stimulus or event (an external trigger) with an internal state, emotion, or response. In this case, the subsequent trigger will include this reaction. We looked at examples above.

Anchoring a man to himself: examples

The system of anchoring men in the Vedas works very well. No, there will be no advertising for this movement, just facts.

The Vedas anchor very powerfully. Essentially they are built on this. A woman’s behavior pattern (affectionate, understanding, caring), appearance (long skirts, hair), nutrition (emphasis on vegetarianism, special selection of dishes) are all designed to anchor a man.

And it does work.

Families with long-term relationships can also serve as an example of anchoring. Their anchors were formed throughout their life together and you can learn from this:

affectionate nicknames;
hugs, half-hugs, stroking;
morning, evening, and weekend rituals;
paired habits.

Anchors that will help hold a man

Break pattern

Unusual behavior in standard situations is catchy. Your partner will definitely notice that you are doing something differently from everyone else. For example, you are on your first (or one hundred and first) date, you are sitting in a restaurant and raising your glasses. “I want to drink to you!” he says and offers a glass. And then you say: “For such a wonderful toast, from now on I will clink glasses twice!” He is surprised. Next time, if he clinks glasses with another woman (a colleague, a friend, or even a lover - what if?), he will certainly think: “But mine values my words so much that she clinks glasses twice!” That's it, you are extraordinary, you won!

Anchoring: life hacks of a modern woman

The simplest and most effective advice is to be yourself, but a little unique. From the first day of communication with the man you like, introduce your own rules of relationships and love.

Surprise. Be memorable. But don't work according to crude Internet schemes. Believe me, men read women's articles too.

Options for unexpected atypical, but positively memorable behavior could be:

gesture when meeting or saying goodbye - including touching;
sayings, special words - but without fanaticism;
appearance – skirt, hairstyle, makeup features;
smell - rare perfume;
actions – juice for brotherhood, “clinking” coffee.

In the future, you can add unexpected habits and connections:

give a bottle of wine “for reconciliation”;
collect a necklace of sexual achievements;
come up with affectionate, exciting, memorable nicknames;
develop an algorithm for meetings and farewells;
find “your” music.

There are plenty of options. Almost all elements of life can be used to create anchors. But for reliable fixation it is necessary either a bright, powerful emotional outburst, or repeated repetition.

Anchoring will not happen on its own.

And, yes, all these methods work on women too.

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The benefits of anchors in everyday life

get to work faster;
it is easier to get out of a stressful situation;
switch attention from one task to another;
when resting, relax, and not continue to think about business.

3 important steps

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Life story

Yeranika from St. Petersburg

During my university years, when I had to write large scientific papers and process colossal amounts of information, I created an anchor for myself on one rhythmic track and the smell of citruses. As soon as you turned them on, your head became crystal clear and you could work for hours.

At another point in my life, in order to get out of depressive and hopeless states, I managed to put together a whole “chain anchor” in the form of a music album, where track by track the states change by degree, but in the end the feeling is radically different.

You can learn to evoke (create an anchor) in yourself some positive emotion. Or replace a negative habit with a useful one. Or quickly get out of some states.

Starting point

An important point is to choose where in the body to place the anchor. It should be a place that is appropriate to touch in public.
That is, choosing the armpit as such a point is probably not very convenient. Pulling the hair on the top of your head is also not a good option, it can look weird. But touching the tip of your nose or earlobe is appropriate almost always and everywhere.
However, let it be a place that is not often touched by other people. If you are a massage therapist, then the anchors on your palms will be constantly activated when working with a patient.
However, perhaps an anchor on the index finger, for example, which “attaches” the feeling of joy from performing a massage, on the contrary, will help you get more pleasure from work and become more successful in it. In general, it’s worth thinking through everything in advance so that you feel comfortable later.

A brief excursion into history

Anchoring is the key to managing emotions. What does it have to do with conscious management. Many people mistakenly confuse anchors with reflexes. There is a significant difference between an anchor and a reflex. To set an anchor, one strong experience, an emotional state, is enough, while an associative connection in the case of developing a reflex appears as a result of repeated reproduction of a chain of certain actions. Scientifically speaking, a reflex is a physiological reaction, and an anchor is an emotional one.

How to make a man think only about you during separation

If you have to separate for a while, you can make the guy think about you more often during separation:

The scent of your perfume on his shirt will remind him of you. Lightly sprinkle a couple of drops on the collar of your shirt, and your scent will be with it.
Place a cute note with a declaration of love in your document folder. Finding it by chance, he will be pleasantly surprised.
Throughout the day, you can send several short messages - “I love”, “I miss”, “I’m waiting”. You don’t need a lot, even if it’s unexpected and infrequent.
Put some tasty treats in his briefcase. Let it be something he loves, like chocolate. An unexpected surprise will definitely remind him of you.
Leave some posts on the walls of mutual friends on social networks. When your beloved man visits a friend’s page, he will remember you.
If you are leaving, then try to arrange a romantic, memorable meeting in a place that he walks past every day to work. Passing by, he will remember you every day.
Give him something to remind him of you. It's better to have this thing with him all the time.

Psychological anchor method - first stage

It is necessary to decide on the situation for which additional resources are needed.
Understand exactly what emotion is needed. For example, when taking an exam, you want to feel more confident.
In order to make sure that this particular resource is needed, you need to ask yourself the question: “If I had this emotion, would I really use it?” If the answer is yes, you can move on to the next point.
Try to remember a situation in which this feeling was vividly experienced.

The process of linking the reaction we need with a trigger is not difficult to perform, but here we need to take into account several rules. Remember that:

The anchor is set at the very peak of the state. Those. It is extremely important to determine the moment of highest intensity of emotion and launch an anchor at this point.
The anchor must be unique, i.e. unusual for this situation. If it is something routinely present and familiar in a given context, it will not become an anchor. The degree of uniqueness may be small - a new gesture, a slightly unusual pose, a different movement than always. In this case, the anchor will look quite natural in this situation.
Accurate reproduction of the anchor is the key to its effectiveness. If an action, gesture, posture, etc. will be slightly different from those on which the desired state was applied, or the same, but of less intensity (weaker pressure, quieter sound, etc.), the anchor may not work.

Do not forget that after installation it is necessary to support the anchor, i.e. reinforce it with repetition. Without this, a single anchor may fall apart.

Now let's move on to the anchoring technique itself. The steps are as follows:

Determine which state you want to anchor. Let's take the example of self-confidence.
Remember a situation where you felt this emotion or feeling as vividly as possible. Feel them again, bringing them to the peak. In our example, we create a state of self-confidence by associating ourselves with situations where we felt 100% that way.
At the peak, we set the anchor using the selected action, for example, clenching your hand into a fist, touching your left thigh, uttering some special sound, looking at the image.
We interrupt the state and exit it. Let's take a break - you can look out the window, count from 10 to 0. Now we will check the anchor.
We reproduce the anchor again, and if the desired state appears (in our example, a feeling of self-confidence), then the anchor is working. Now we can use it, remembering that, if necessary, it should be reinforced by repetition.

This is the algorithm for establishing emotional anchors (or anchoring). They act similarly in the case of a change in reaction (re-anchoring), with the difference that the new state is “added” to the context of the desired situation. To do this, you need to determine the circumstances or event, the attitude towards which you want to change, and reproduce the selected positive anchor in this situation. It is important to connect this very “unpleasant” environment with the desired positive state experienced within it.

If you follow the rules and secure them sufficiently, anchors work great. Try it! We also suggest you take a short test to find out how well you have mastered the material:

And now let's summarize.

How do we anchor ourselves?

It won’t be difficult to find and give an example of self-anchoring. Remember the last time you bought a phone. Moreover, the initial situation does not assume that you yourself are well versed in gadgets, but went to the store for advice. The manager offered you not the most expensive, but the “best” model available. When you enter each subsequent salon, you will no longer look for something better, you will ask for exactly the first model that you liked and most likely you will buy it.

The next example of self-anchoring is finding a job. You went to a site where they post vacancies, looked at the approximate salary level, got hooked on the amount that warms your pocket the most, and let’s send out your resume. Have you forgotten to check the salary in your city, look at the requirements for the candidate, experience and find out what you need to do to earn several times more than others? The anchor in this situation was a specific figure.

People unknowingly use anchors when raising their children. What caused positive emotions in childhood is given and allowed to children by default. And vice versa, what we have been afraid of since childhood, dreaded, or what made us cry a lot in childhood is taboo for our children.

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