Why am I so stupid? Any person who finds himself in a new, unfamiliar situation can ask a similar question. Moreover, the level of education and the degree of reading do not play any role here. He simply does not know what to do, because he has not formed certain patterns of behavior.
It's not scary, but it does give you a lot to think about. To some extent, your own knowledge can even prevent you from feeling true self-confidence. A person who suffers from a lack of self-esteem often finds himself in a situation where he begins to doubt his mental abilities and plagues himself with the question: “What if I’m stupid?”
A person who is dissatisfied with his relationships with people around him, as a rule, begins to look for the truth within himself. In some cases, the search extends over several months or even years. In order to determine your true values, you need additional time. If you don’t push yourself and don’t rush to conclusions, you can restore your peace of mind. The main thing is to be able to understand your own feelings, to understand the true reasons for the events taking place.
Inability to hear the interlocutor
Such a person is extremely inattentive to what is happening around him. He concentrates only on his own needs, and therefore tends not to notice people's reactions.
The inability to hear the interlocutor ultimately results in the fact that others begin to consider such a person not very distant. From the outside, it seems that he is completely incapable of understanding the subject of the conversation, has no idea what is being discussed, that is, he is a prominent representative of stupid people. In fact, such a person is overly focused on his own experiences.
Initiative is not punishable
If the “partisan” continues to stubbornly remain silent, it’s time to show your own initiative. We begin to bombard the interlocutor with questions in order to find out as much information as possible about him: about his hobbies, interests, worldview, habits.
It’s no secret that each of us likes to amuse our ego, so we’re unlikely to refuse to talk about ourselves once again. Here are some good questions: “What books do you read?”, “What Internet resources do you visit most?”, “What are your hobbies?” They will help you learn a lot about a person and bring the conversation out of the pit of silence.
Poor learning ability
If a person has difficulty remembering any material, it is likely that he has a low memory capacity. At the same time, concentration will certainly suffer. Poor performance at school and subsequent educational institutions usually creates a significant degree of self-doubt. And many young people ask: “What should I do if I’m stupid academically?” They consider it completely useless to learn something new and apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Extreme self-doubt gives rise to additional problems associated with communication and self-realization.
It becomes difficult for a person to concentrate on the task at hand. When thinking about the question “What should I do if I’m stupid and lazy,” you should be guided by an individual approach. Each person is unique and has distinctive characteristics.
How to prepare for a conversation
A long, high-quality conversation that reveals both you and your interlocutor is an art. If you practice communication often, approach it as creativity, and listen to yourself, everything will definitely work out. However, the first time is always scary. Therefore, we advise you to remember a few simple rules that will become the basis for further experiments in the field of communication.
Tips on how to avoid awkward pauses in communication with a girl or guy:
- Don't just listen, but hear. Do not interrupt and carefully delve into what the person is saying, ask clarifying questions, “cling on” to the details of what has already been said in order to reveal what has been said. If there are no such details, in any case, react with facial expressions, gestures, interjections - do not remain silent and do not sit like an idol.
- Mirror your interlocutor's words. “I don’t really like rollerblades, but I really like ice skating in winter, even though these are similar actions,” the girl said and fell silent. Possible answers: “Hmm, I also don’t like driving a car, although I really like riding a motorcycle,” “I also loved skating as a child, it’s so cool!”
- If there is already a pause, look around. For example, you are in a cafe. We saw a painting on the wall: “Look, a friend of mine also draws in this style, I like it, although it took me a long time to get used to it. How do you feel about abstract art?”
- Don't try to be witty and spout tons of jokes and quips per hour. If a joke doesn't come to mind within a couple of seconds, it's better to say something simple and mundane, to maintain the theme without this humorous mini-performance, than to say nothing at all, creating a pause.
- Change the topic if you have absolutely no understanding of the subject that the interlocutor suggested. A very common situation: a man talks about the technical details of his work or, God forbid, about a car. The girl doesn’t understand a word, but tries to pretend that she’s listening so as not to offend. This is not a conversation. He will finish the sentence, but you will not be able to support the topic. It’s better to initially gently change the topic to one that is familiar to you, but interesting to your interlocutor.
- Never answer briefly in a “yes/no” style or ask questions that can be answered in monosyllables like “did you get enough sleep today?” or “do you like tuna rolls?” It’s better to ask “What did you dream about?”, “How do you feel about oriental cuisine? And why?".
- Give out information in portions. If you lay it all out like crazy in the first minute of a conversation, you will have nothing to “cover” with when it’s your turn to speak. Express some thought, give your interlocutor the opportunity to answer, don’t argue, listen. Reinforce the initial thought, clarify the nuances with your interlocutor, create volume for the initial statement by adding more and more details.
- Be friendly and either don't argue or argue very gently. “Should we order some pineapple pizza?” - “Only perverts eat this”, “It’s nice in the summer on the lake” - “I don’t think so.” So we talked. It’s better to confirm part of what was said and build on it. “Oh, you have interesting tastes, I also have dishes that most people don’t really like, give it to you with pineapples, and to me with anchovies - the waiters will look at us strangely!”; “Yes, it’s hard in the city in the summer, but I prefer tourism with tents in forests, mountains, caves, and what about lakes for you? Do you like to sunbathe or swim?
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You can also make a knight’s move and, if that terrible awkward pause occurs, say: “Oh, it seems we have an awkward pause. I can’t stand them; it immediately feels like I’m sinking into the ground. Do you ever have this feeling? How do you usually get out of this situation?
Causes
In order for such a sense of self to be formed, good reasons are needed. It’s just that no one considers himself a complete nonentity. The feeling of worthlessness is dictated by the feeling of one’s own uselessness and the inability to somehow express oneself in society. Even once faced with misunderstanding, a person then expects ridicule throughout his life.
Insecure individuals tend to take too many things personally, even things that do not directly apply to them. So, what are the reasons why many people consider themselves stupid people? Let's take a closer look at them.
Habit of comparison
When a person feels stupid, in most cases conclusions are drawn based on comparing their own shortcomings with the strengths of others. And this is a big mistake! People cannot be the same and have the same amount of knowledge in all areas. Almost everyone has the habit of comparing themselves with others. It comes from a lack of self-confidence. The more we soul-search, the more difficult it actually becomes to focus on everyday tasks.
When a person compares himself with others, he thereby admits his own weakness and robs himself of precious energy. This condition cannot lead to anything good, since it hinders development.
Mini tips for every day
Finally, here are some more useful recommendations for you.
- Follow the regime. Night vigils, work without rest, sleep until lunch - all these factors hinder mental development.
- Spend more time in the fresh air to enrich your cells with oxygen.
- Include red fish, nuts, cocoa, greens, and seaweed in your diet. These products contain substances necessary for normal brain function.
- Play board games - cards, chess, checkers, backgammon.
- Solve crosswords, solve puzzles and logic problems.
- Develop cognitive functions with the help of special simulators. You can find them here: Vikium, Bitreynika, BrainApps.
- Listen to classical music. Scientists have proven that the works of Bach, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky and other great composers stimulate brain activity.
- Learn to solve your problems yourself. The habit of shifting responsibility to others dampens the brain.
Lack of self-confidence
Only by fully realizing one's own prospects can a person move forward. Everyone has opportunities, but not everyone understands how to apply the knowledge they have in life. Lack of self-confidence actually blocks many undertakings and does not allow the personality to reveal itself. Thus, self-realization becomes impossible, since it is hampered by the strong fear of potential defeat that arises.
Each failure is experienced very hard, as if the happiness of a particular individual depends on it. “Why am I so stupid?” - a person constantly asks himself, asking himself numerous other questions about his inferiority. In most cases, he spends a long time looking for an opportunity to remake himself. This is because there is a fear of loneliness inside, coupled with the fear of not being up to par.
Diffidence
Lack of self-confidence is another reason why a person may begin to consider himself a failure. It’s hardly surprising that he doesn’t understand much in life. If you constantly think about your own inadequacy, then you may never make progress in important matters and issues.
Self-doubt makes it very difficult to enjoy life, comprehend its boundaries and open new perspectives. It is impossible to achieve success if you constantly look back at yourself in search of answers to a wide variety of questions. You cannot oppress yourself with painful thoughts about your personal unfulfillment.
Psychological trauma
A traumatic situation is one of the most serious reasons that can undermine confidence in one’s own capabilities for a long time. It is very difficult for a person who is convinced of his impenetrable stupidity to begin to perceive himself in exactly the opposite way.
Psychological trauma and internal conflicts are a serious obstacle to feeling like a full-fledged person. The feeling of happiness depends on many factors, and it is always subjective.
When there is a conviction within that you cannot master the most basic skills, this creates an obstacle to the formation of a happy sense of self. It really seems to a person that he is not capable of anything. Such thoughts are destructive: they do not help in any way to cultivate self-confidence, but only convince a person of complete failure.
Exploring the abilities of your voice
Some practices, which I will discuss later, help very well to develop your voice.
- Breathing practices to open the diaphragm. It's no secret that proper breathing is very important for loud and clear speech. Even eastern practices such as pranayama are suitable for training. Inhalation occurs sequentially: first from the lower abdomen, then the air moves higher to the chest area and finally straightens the shoulders.
- Singing. Even if you don’t have the talent of Alla Pugacheva, don’t be shy about training this way. The song reveals the voice very well, and at the same time its beauty. In the future, this will allow you to correctly intonate your words and give your voice a melody, thanks to which others will enjoy listening to you.
- Scream. If you have the opportunity to scream at home or somewhere outside the city at the top of your lungs, take advantage!
Concerts and football matches are great places to join in the buzz. This neutralizes embarrassment, removes internal pressures and allows you to explore the power of your voice.
Interpersonal conflicts
Another reason why a person may consider himself narrow-minded is a feeling of resentment. It usually prevents us from adequately perceiving the surrounding reality. When some need in life is not satisfied, the individual develops internal deprivation. Sometimes a person does not understand what is happening to him because he has developed the habit of considering himself incapable of understanding the most ordinary things.
Existing conflicts with people often interfere with building normal harmonious relationships. Emotions such as fear, anger, and resentment largely inhibit personal development and prevent the emergence of a feeling of satisfaction. A person always needs to feel needed and involved in the lives of other people.
Signs of a person being stupid: how to stop being stupid and start thinking
Not reading books
It's a banal thing, but not all people do it. It is reading that expands your vocabulary and pushes your brain to think. You can start with 1 book per week. 10 pages a day. Then increase it. You yourself will like this business.
Guided by advice from the Internet
Of course, there is a lot of useful information here. But do not forget that situations are different and cannot be solved in one way. Instead, sit down and think about your situation. Think about what the person you always look up to would do.
Lack of interests
A stupid person has no favorite hobby. He is not interested in what is happening. He just “sits on the couch” and doesn’t develop.
3 important steps
which every woman should go through
Anika Snagovskaya
Author and presenter of women's trainings on harmonizing feminine energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of constellations.
I have prepared three lessons for you that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you from feeling loved and living happily.
01
Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity
You will learn about 5 female states that exist in every woman, how they manifest themselves and which archetypes are most manifested in you and which are not developed.
02
Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships
I’ll tell you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings and break the energy threads connecting you with your past partner.
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Audio recording: Neuro-af
Thanks to this neuro-affirmation, you can regain self-love and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for every day.
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Top 3 useful materials that will help you know yourself better
And start a new, happy life for yourself.
Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity
Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships
Audio recording: Neuro-af
Take your gifts!
No responsibility
It does not exist because a person does not want to take it upon himself. After all, to do this you need to think, think through all the steps, strain yourself, make plans and communicate with other people.
Inability to express one's thoughts
Due to lack of vocabulary, you cannot express a thought, even when explaining a simple thing. Because the brain has stopped thinking. Because of this lifestyle, the brain rests all the time. This is not always good.
Working with self-esteem
Stop calling yourself stupid! It is very important to free yourself from the feeling of internal discomfort if you really want to start feeling differently.
There is no need to constantly torment yourself trying to cope with the existing problem. When a person calls himself stupid, he thereby admits his own weakness. Most likely, other people will begin to perceive it accordingly. However, it is worth remembering that a narrow-minded person will never think about his own shortcomings.
Developed reflection just means that a person is smart enough. It's just that some people don't know how to value themselves and find their strengths. You need to learn this! Working with self-esteem begins with accepting your individuality. It is impossible to achieve anything significant if you do not try for it.
Appearance
Pay attention to your appearance.
It largely determines how people perceive you. Look at yourself with a critical eye. Determine whether your hairstyle and makeup suits you, whether it matches your age, general style, and whether it meets fashion trends. Think about how appropriate it is for you to wear makeup and comb your hair for certain occasions. Evaluate your wardrobe. It should contain only those things that suit you and in which you feel confident. There is simply no need for other things. Make sure that the items of clothing in your outfit match each other and are not from collections ten years ago. Otherwise you will look funny and out of date.
Constant self-education
What if I'm stupid? This question usually comes to mind for those who suffer from low self-esteem. And to feel confident, you actually need to make significant efforts. The best thing to do would be to start educating yourself. Systematic exercises increase self-confidence and help release huge amounts of energy that can be used for useful purposes.
Self-education undoubtedly increases self-confidence. Thus, a person ceases to consider himself stupid and narrow-minded. Sometimes it will take a lot of effort to free yourself from the inner feeling of inferiority.
Taking responsibility
This is an important and necessary step in order to continue moving forward when your hands give up. Accepting responsibility means you need to stop complaining about life.
When we stop blaming others for what happens in our lives, visible changes begin. You must try to ensure that your self-confidence grows and strengthens every day. If this is not done, then the person will constantly feel his complete failure in anything and will not be able to start a new business without feeling guilty.
The feeling of one’s own stupidity is a purely subjective feeling that you need to try to work with. You cannot get rid of the problem once and for all, because there is no magic pill, but you can work on yourself and change for the better.
Skill Development
What if I'm stupid? You must definitely try to improve your abilities. You can’t just stand still and not make any attempts to change yourself.
Developing communication skills contributes to overall productivity. Then any task will be within your reach and will bring moral satisfaction.
It is necessary to strive for a feeling of joy and spiritual fulfillment. The more we work on ourselves, the more prepared we become.
Thus, it is never too late to try to change something in your life. If a person feels quite insecure around other people due to lack of knowledge, this means that he needs to expand his inner vision. There is no need to dwell on the problem. You should always remember that there is a way out of any situation.
Let's play with facial expressions
Listen to your interlocutor and “play along” with him. If he tries to joke, even if it’s not funny, at least smile. There's no need to show crazy excitement if you don't care who won Chelsea or Spartak, but raising your eyebrows a little isn't that hard.
However, there is a flip side to this coin. There are comrades who, as soon as you begin to listen to them carefully, abruptly change the topic of conversation or fall silent altogether. Thus, an awkward pause may occur again.
What to do when all efforts to maintain a conversation come to nothing?
Means no luck. You can relax and state this fact with a calm soul with a phrase a la: “Let’s be honest: somehow the conversation is not going well today.” Of course, this is a last resort. But it might work!
Personally, I will take note of this interesting method. And you?
Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. Today we will figure out how to stop mumbling and speak confidently.
