How to behave if your husband constantly screams: choose a tactic

The situation when a woman says “My husband is always dissatisfied with everything,” “My husband yells at me,” “My husband yells at me for any reason,” certainly does not belong to the category of typical ones. After all, it is generally accepted that making a scandal, especially with shouting, is still the prerogative of women. It’s one thing if the husband is constantly dissatisfied with everything, criticizes his wife all the time and finds fault with her. This can still happen quite often; such men are encountered along the path of life and there are many of them. Living with them is not easy, but it is possible. But it’s a completely different matter when a husband constantly yells at his wife! It turns out that there is something wrong with him. But what exactly? And how can we understand the reasons why a man can behave like a woman, yell and make trouble? How to solve this problem? Should I continue to live with him or break up? What if you love and want to help? Let's look at the reasons for male screaming and options for solving the problem.

Why does a husband yell at his wife all the time?

There may be several reasons:

1. Impulsive character

Perhaps your husband has an explosive character, who, if he also has a certain type of temperament, is capable of “going wild.” Such people usually do things first and then think about the consequences. They often make mistakes in relationships. At the same time, a man can sincerely love you, care, but continue to shout about any reason that comes up. Impulsive people, as a rule, are quick-witted, do not know how to be offended or angry for a long time, are not capable of dirty tricks, since they do everything openly - this is their undoubted advantage over the “quiet ones” who can do so many nasty things!

You probably knew about this quality of your partner when you married him, because temperament, like character, cannot be hidden. Remember one thing for sure: it is impossible to change such people, so if you want to continue living with your husband, learn to adapt.

1. Hidden Fears

This is a psychological problem, each person has its own manifestations. Its essence lies in the fact that a person is very afraid of something. For example, a man thinks that his wife might leave for someone else (this often happens with low self-esteem and a bunch of accompanying complexes), and he is afraid of this, constantly expects a catch, is jealous of everyone, and checks his phone. But he doesn’t say this out loud to his wife - his fear is hidden, he cannot admit it, even, perhaps, to himself. But emotions are strong, and they need to find a way out of this situation. So they find it in breakdowns, screaming, constant nagging and dissatisfaction that a husband shows to his own wife. Most likely, at such moments he even feels sincere anger towards you. After all, it was you who made him worry and worry.

It is clear that an adult can and should work on himself, at least - if necessary, turn to specialists, because this is already a psychological problem.

1. Dissatisfaction with life

This reason, of course, is present in the life of almost every person in one way or another. But not every individual will take it out on their loved ones. That is, if your husband yells at you because he has no money, his car broke down (and in general he dreamed of buying another car all his life!), he has a bad job that doesn’t suit him, he quarreled with his colleagues, something is wrong with him they said, etc. - this not only does not decorate him, but makes him, in the eyes of any sane person, a weak, hysterical creature, like a scandalous lady. If a man is not satisfied with life (like any other person), then only he can help himself and no one else. You need to change your own attitude towards yourself, your life, your problems, solve them, and not dump the burden of worries on your loved ones. In general, it is better to stay away from such a person. He most likely thinks only of himself and no one else. And there is even less masculine behavior in it. If you are not satisfied with life and don’t want to change anything in it, that’s your problem! But yell at your wife at the same time! Unworthy of a man.

Another thing is dissatisfaction with life together, for example, sexual life. Sex plays a very important role for a man. And if there are serious problems in family sexual relationships, and the spouse is not used to discussing such things with his partner, that is, with you, he may well take it out with anger and screaming. In this case, take a closer look at your sex. You will understand if this is the problem.

1. Copying father's behavior

“We all come from childhood” is a famous phrase from psychology. It is no secret that while in a family, a child sees and absorbs the behavior of his parents on an unconscious level. Both girls and boys copy the habits of their relatives, their manner of behavior and communication. Take a closer look at your father-in-law. Does he constantly yell at his mother-in-law? Is he rarely affectionate with her in the presence of strangers? Or does he throw a scandal on any occasion, considering himself always and in everything right? In this case, you can no longer look for reasons why your husband yells at you. He copies his dad's behavior. Probably, his mother endured such antics all her life, and therefore your husband thinks that it is normal to behave this way with a woman in marriage.

The worst thing about this situation is that it is very difficult to correct this order of things. You can’t do this without a specialist. And even if you begin to admonish your spouse, show him examples of other families that are successful in relationships, he is unlikely to change, because this happened to him in his distant childhood, he already behaves this way automatically.

1. Mental problems

Unfortunately, no one is immune from meeting a mentally ill person. We are not talking about a maniac, not about a psycho in the literal sense of the word, but about a man who has not psychological, but mental problems and disorders. In this case, you could date him for a long time and not notice the manifestations of this disease. He could have carefully masked it, or it could not have made itself felt at that time (alternatively, it could not have been in the acute stage at that moment). What can you do here? Start by going to a psychologist, and if he notices mental problems, he will refer your husband to see a psychiatrist. Do not worry. In this case, not all is lost. All this can be treated.

1. Impotence

Impotence occurs if a man cannot cope on his own (usually for a long time) with any problem. Moreover, she is somehow connected with you, his wife. For example, you are building a career, earning decent money (perhaps more than him), generally developing with giant strides, but for some reason he “stands still”, he doesn’t succeed in many things. This is where powerlessness is born. In this state, the man begins to scream, although this is the last thing left for him. After all, a person who thinks differently, constructively, will try to change himself in order to match the woman he loves, and not yell at her out of powerlessness.

Causes

A husband yells at his wife most often when he is provoked. Let's look at what other factors can become a prerequisite for such behavior in a man.

1. Strong impulsiveness. Temperament type: choleric. This manner of communication is inherent from within.
2. The presence of hidden fears. In this way, a person tries to close himself off from what scares him.
3. Unsatisfied needs. We can talk about both problems of an intimate nature and a lack of self-realization.
4. As a result of children's complexes.
5. Copying the father's behavior model. If a boy grew up in a family where such communication was normal, he grew up adopting such behavior as a basis.
6. Emotional response to female misdeeds.
7. A way to show your superiority. This is observed when the wife is better than him in other aspects of life, she is in charge of the house, earns money, and makes decisions herself.
8. Norm of communication. A man considers this method of communication normal and thinks that his wife deserves such an attitude.
9. If the husband began to scream, although he had not done this before, it is possible that the reason lies in the disappearance of feelings for his wife, the appearance of a mistress. The other half begins to irritate with its appearance.
10. Serious mental problems.

What to do if your husband yells?

The main thing to understand right away is this: if I want to stay with this person at all costs, then I need to rebuild my interaction with my husband in order to help him (after all, he has a problem in any case).

What you need to do to improve your relationship and reduce the likelihood of yelling and nagging:

1. Don't raise your voice in response

This advice should be clear to any woman. A scream always provokes a response. And even if you really want to shout back (especially when you feel the situation is unfair), learn to restrain yourself. Yes, it happens that a screaming husband is even more irritated by the very fact of your non-aggression and calmness, but in any case, it is undesirable to rely on this. But a friendly attitude will definitely help build a dialogue with a screaming husband. Goodwill is perceived adequately by any aggressive person, because it means that you value him, love him, and are ready to help.

1. Try to help your husband understand his feelings

Have a heart-to-heart talk. Slowly find out the reason for your husband’s constant dissatisfaction. Explain that you are ready to change if something does not suit him, but in turn, he should try to take your place and understand how painful and difficult it is for you. If he himself does not understand what is happening to him, help him find out. Ask leading questions: “When did this start?”, “What else (what situations in life) happened at that moment?”, “Perhaps dissatisfaction with your wife increases after a conversation with any of the significant people (mother, sister, other relatives or friends)?”, “Why does he consider such behavior possible for himself?”, “How would you react if you behaved the same way with him?” etc. It is possible that during such a conversation you will understand a lot, including how to proceed.

1. Let your husband talk

If the situation with shouting and dissatisfaction expressed to you is still not repeated often, let the person speak out. Maybe this is how he needs to get rid of the negativity - no matter how offensive it may be to you! Remember that men often suffer from heart attacks and strokes precisely because they contain their emotions. So let it be reassuring to know that your husband is relieving himself of stress that could lead to illness.

If he opens up with you, be sure to listen to him and do everything to ensure that your conversation is sure to benefit him. In this case, he will always be frank with his wife. And this will be a step towards improving relations.

1. Support and care

All the previous advice is aimed precisely at preserving the relationship by proving to your spouse that your support and care is exactly what such an explosive person like him needs. The husband probably also understands that he is not a gift. And therefore he will appreciate you for your understanding and friendly attitude. Also, remember: he may not know that he has serious mental or psychological problems. And this requires the intervention of specialists.

1. Do not provoke conflict situations

Try not to provoke any conflicts yourself. Imagine: not only is your husband always “on edge” and ready to burst into “thunder and lightning” at any moment, but you will also begin to make some claims against him. All this can result in constant scandals and quarrels, which over and over again will lead to misunderstanding, mistrust, and lack of warmth between you.

1. Please be patient

Yes Yes. You will have to show angelic patience if you undertake to find out the reasons for your husband’s aggression and screaming in order to help him become a more benevolent person. But you yourself chose this path for a reason only known to you. Therefore, patience, patience and more patience. Remember: coping with a person who sometimes hears only himself is very difficult. And it’s unlikely to take 1 month. Get ready for a long recovery in your relationship.

1. Contact a family psychologist

If you yourself are unable to cope with the situation or understand that your husband has deep psychological or mental problems, try to convince him to consult a family psychologist. But under no circumstances tell him: “You need to see a psychiatrist! You are sick!". It will ruin everything. No person agrees to consider himself sick, especially in our society, not everyone understands what psychological problems are, mistakenly considering them a disease of “crazy people.”

Be friendly, tell him that you love him very much and therefore want to seek help from a family psychologist, who, in your opinion, will definitely help save the marriage.

Psychology of male behavior

The question of why a man insults his woman and what is the main reason for this manifestation is relevant for everyone. There is only one answer: unstable psyche or psychological disorders caused by unfavorable family relationships, difficult childhood, and other disorders. The psychology of male behavior is complex, and to understand why men humiliate women, you need to understand its components in detail:

• Convenience. If a woman allows herself to be treated this way and does not show her dissatisfaction or resentment, the partner will continue to do this, receiving self-affirmation from it.
• Management and power. Feeling power over the weaker sex, a man tries to be the authority in the family, dictate his own rules, try to do everything so that they obey him and take his opinion into account.
• Weak and insecure individuals. Having no other object for humiliation, a man begins to look for it in his closest loved one, who cannot stand up for himself or provide a proper rebuff.

As psychology shows, strong personalities will never humiliate a girl, and it doesn’t matter at all whether we are talking about a family member or a stranger. Only psychologically weak men will constantly look for an object for self-affirmation, satisfying their unhealthy psychological desires.