How to learn to be indifferent to a man

From this article you will learn:

Why do women want to lose interest in a man?
How to cool off towards a man
What do psychologists advise about this?
How to lose interest in a man, stop loving him and not remember him using a love spell

Loving and being loved is real happiness for every girl. This feeling gives a sea of positive emotions, and you want to experience them again and again with your soulmate. But love does not always bring only joy. It is often the cause of pain and disappointment. Then you want to hide, run away, forever forgetting about the person who brought so much suffering. Girls are often interested in how to lose interest in a man so that they can finally start a new, happy life. We will talk about this in our article.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch is, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.

And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.

Watch the video in which a girl tells how to become a bitch:

Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.

Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.

How to become an emotionless cold creature?

In addition to the fact that the lifestyle of an insensitive person means that it is almost impossible to offend him, spiritual coldness has additional advantages:

A person who practically does not react even to the most serious shocks is usually respected and considered very strong.
The image of an insensitive man attracts girls, because they think that he can solve any problem “without raising an eyebrow.” Girls say about such young people: “Behind him is like behind a stone wall,” because with him action always comes first without wasting time on emotions.
It is much easier for such people to move up the career ladder, because no emotions interfere with working on themselves and self-improvement.

Let's look at how you need to restructure your behavior and attitude towards life in order to become an insensitive scum.

How to become calm and learn to control your emotions is described in the video:

Cultivating selfishness

From childhood we were taught that selfishness is a very bad quality. Children are taught to share their toys or even give them to semi-familiar playmates in the sandbox, because “you need to share” and “are you greedy?”

The same goes for delicious food that I wanted to eat myself, and not give more than half to my parents or brothers/sisters. This is how individuals grow up who are always ready to sacrifice their interests in order for society to consider them good.

Unfortunately, this approach does not allow you to fully enjoy life, because playing in public takes a lot of energy.

Reference! Many begin to feel ashamed of their reluctance to help relatives and mentally torture themselves. If you recognize yourself in these lines, stop this violence right now!

Selfishness is a completely healthy concern for oneself and one’s interests, which should be accepted as an axiom. From now on, answer a firm “No” to any request for help that you don’t want to satisfy!

If the person asking is not part of your family, don’t even explain the reason for the refusal. It will be difficult at first and you will feel anxious about what people think about you. But over time, only the feeling of freedom and happiness will come from the fact that now every minute of life belongs to you personally!

Spend the time that will be freed up only on yourself:

engage in self-development,
take yourself to new cafes and feed yourself delicious food,
buy quality care products,
Don’t skimp on self-education.

After some time, you will understand that by helping everyone around you, you were trying to earn the approval that you can give to yourself.

The pros and cons of selfishness are described in the video:

We say no

How many times have you had to do something just because in our society it is not customary to refuse those who ask?

Many people take advantage of this with pleasure, constantly pretending to be weak and unable to cope with the hardships of life and sitting on the neck of a good friend.

You need to remember one phrase: everything that happens in the lives of other people is their personal responsibility. You don't have to rush out and help them.

Important! The only thing you must do from now on is take care of your needs and make it your life's work.

A little practice can help you learn to say “no”:

For a week, refuse to satisfy all requests that are addressed to you if you feel even a hint of doubt that you want to help this person.
For every refusal, mentally thank yourself and allow yourself a small weakness: your favorite candy or watching a movie instead of cleaning the apartment in the evening.
This will give your brain the motivation to learn how to cope with anxiety over people’s opinions.

How to let go and forget a guy

If he still hasn’t warmed up to you, don’t torture yourself: let him go. To do this, just switch to your own affairs - meet with your girlfriends more often, go shopping, play sports, study, read books. Here you will find a selection of the most interesting publications. Try not to blame yourself, repeat to yourself that this is not your person and you are not on the right path. You definitely need to get rid of bad thoughts. In this article we will tell you how to do this through meditation, sports and other activities.

Here is a video with some pretty good advice from a psychotherapist:

If necessary, meet another guy, spend time with him, go out and enjoy your freedom! And finally, remember, you will definitely meet the one who will always love you.

What does it mean to be indifferent to yourself

Lifestyle is of no small importance in the formation of an indifferent state. The reason for indifferent behavior can be simple boredom

Sometimes the desire to be inactive is short-term in nature, in which case a person simply needs a little rest. However, if indifference develops into a difficult mental state or protracted depression, then it is necessary to analyze your behavior and eliminate the causes of such manifestations.

There are a lot of possible reasons for indifference, let’s consider some of them:

Experienced stress
Chronic diseases.
Physical fatigue.
Disappointment in professional activities.
Lack of purpose in life.
Dissatisfaction with social and public life.
Alcohol abuse and other bad habits.
Advanced age.
Emotional exhaustion.
Energy imbalance.

There can be many reasons for indifference.
An indifferent state manifests itself as a defensive reaction of the body. A person withdraws from the world around him. Not wanting to feel despair or loneliness, he stops showing emotions.

When the body is unwell, indifference is a symptom of an ongoing illness.
Taking certain medications can also cause a similar effect.
The lack of material wealth gives a person uncertainty about the future, thus causing indifference to current events.
When material values are placed above human values, a person ceases to experience moral satisfaction from such a life.
Lack of purposefulness deprives us of interest in current events. We stop striving and wanting, we live a boring, monotonous life. In this case, it is necessary to arm yourself with a goal. It is this that motivates a person and forces him to take action.
Experiencing strong feelings, a person becomes exhausted and becomes unable to express any emotions. In this case, temporary peace and quiet will have a positive effect on the state of the body.
Any life situation can lead to apathy.
Too active emotional outbursts lead the body to a state of fatigue. Emotions go off scale and the limit comes, the person becomes indifferent for some time.
A person who has lost the meaning of life does not worry about anything. Lack of desire for anything leads to a passive state of motor activity. The person is in no hurry, his energy reserves are at a minimum.
To form desires, it is necessary to show emotions to surrounding events. Indifference leads to a passive state, indifference.

Depression is also common

Depression is the mildest form of indifference. Since in a depressed state a person experiences, at a minimum, negative emotions. In this state, the person suffers due to the unattainability of his desires.

To avoid diving even deeper, be less alone with yourself and your own thoughts. Always try to realize your potential to the maximum. This will give you new strength and energy. By being involved in the lives of others, you will feel that they care about you

This will encourage you to be kind and helpful. Don't neglect the attention shown to you. Understanding and support from loved ones will awaken your human qualities.

Why is indifference dangerous?

Lack of emotional response to what is happening and ignoring other people's troubles can lead to social isolation .

Indifference often becomes a stumbling block for loved ones as part of a lack of understanding of the difficulties of one person by another.

Indifference at the same time gives a person an imaginary feeling of abstraction from these problems and allows him to enjoy only pleasant things.

This quality can be regarded as a manifestation of emotional rudeness . This sounds especially harsh towards women.

It is assumed that the female sex has a great capacity for empathy and compassion , however, in conditions of an indifferent attitude, such a girl can be perceived as dry and insensitive.

In addition, indifference does not allow you to enjoy life in all its colors.

By getting involved in some process to which a person becomes partial, he acquires new life experience and knowledge , and also exchanges them with other individuals. Indifference makes the process of accumulating such information impossible.

This condition also leads to a decline in moral standards in society . The lack of reaction to shocking events makes them closer to the norm, and over time even transforms them into the category of habitual.

For example, the lack of response to the prevalence of gadgets among schoolchildren encourages further use of phones and tablets instead of face-to-face communication.

has a particularly negative impact on the upbringing of children.

Indifference encourages others to take harsh and atypical actions , which can cause conflict.

For example, in a company of friends, people are indifferent to the manifestation of cruelty of one of them towards animals.

In the future, this can lead to the formation of sadistic tendencies in a person and even to their implementation.

The person has negative feelings towards you

It's almost impossible to please everyone. That's why each of us has friends who don't like us. But we try to control ourselves and not demonstrate our negative attitude (in the event that our hostility is mutual), and other people do not consider this a reasonable solution. Moreover, they do this on purpose to show you their disdain. They try to insult, humiliate, spoil the mood, etc. But we understand that they do all this out of their weakness and bad manners. An intelligent person will never stoop to show his negative attitude. The most he will do is simply ignore you. Therefore, you should not be offended by those who show their anger in this way.

What does emotional competence consist of?

EQ is built on four components:

Self-awareness . The main "ingredient". High self-awareness allows a person to recognize his strengths and weaknesses, weak and strong traits, his own needs, goals, and motives.
Self-control . It stems from self-awareness. A person who has studied himself learns to manage his emotions. Although they are initially driven by biological mechanisms, it is quite possible to learn to take control of them. The ability of self-regulation allows you to free yourself from the “fetters of feelings.” People capable of self-control can always pull themselves together and not succumb to despondency or excessive euphoria.
Empathy . This ability is already aimed at communication. It means the ability to understand the feelings of others, manage relationships, having knowledge of the emotions of another person.
Relationship skills . This can also be called communication skills. Some people confuse this trait with friendliness. In part, this is correct, but we are talking about friendliness, which pursues a specific goal. It is associated with establishing mutually beneficial relationships.

Signs of indifference

The problem of indifference can affect anyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. In modern society, indifference is gradually becoming the norm of behavior, for which almost no one is held accountable. When a person passes by someone else's misfortune indifferently, without showing any interest, without trying to provide all possible help, this often causes misunderstanding among caring people. Such signs of indifference sometimes indicate mental disorders or character traits: passivity, apathy. They appear:

in cynicism;
lack of empathy;
prudence.

Even if a criminal offense is committed in front of such a person, he will convince himself that this is not his business and that these problems should be dealt with exclusively by the police. Lack of civic responsibility among people has a negative impact and deteriorates the quality of life of the entire society.

Why can a guy lose interest in a girl?

The first six months of a relationship almost always fly by unnoticed and beautifully; he wants to carry you in his arms, talk to you from morning to evening, please and surprise. At the end of the candy-bouquet period, everything can change dramatically: a man often becomes cold in communicating with his soul mate. One of the reasons for this behavior is that the guy stopped loving the girl. Our other article will help you understand this or that. In it you can find the main signs of the disappearance of feelings.

The attitude of a young man (hereinafter referred to as MCH) can change even after he understands that you have a lot of shortcomings. Any little things can irritate him: the fact that you speak quickly, smoke, laugh strangely, bother you with your calls, raise your voice, etc. There may also be complaints about your appearance: according to his ideas, it turns out that you are not at all the slender person you used to be were considered, and your breasts are no longer large, and your hips are too wide, and it’s time to get rid of cellulite...

be rude to him;
not listening or hearing your partner;
act like a man in a skirt;
do not consult him;
do not show how significant it is or go too far with it;
restrict his freedom;
be constantly jealous;
stop paying attention to your appearance.

You should also not forget about the importance of intimate relationships, if you have them. Maybe the guy is bored with the monotony, or he’s tired of waiting, or he’s no longer attracted to you sexually... It’s also likely that the guy could have cooled off if the girl just got too attached to him

Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself

It is also likely that the guy could cool down if the girl simply became too attached to him. Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself.

Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

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How to cool off towards a man: magical ways

There is another way to cool off towards a man - with the help of a magical spell. This does not apply to lapels, since they can only be in the case of love spells (attachment against your will). The ritual of liberation from oppressive feelings is called “ostuda”. As a result of the ritual, you will lose feelings for a person whose love is beyond your strength. The plot is performed on the waning moon, after sunset. The day of the ritual is Tuesday or Saturday.

Below are the options for such ostuds. You can choose one of them and also experiment with all the methods. The only rule is not to do several rituals at once. Perhaps one conspiracy will be enough.

How indifference manifests itself in various areas of life

Indifference manifests itself in many ordinary life situations when an indifferent individual:

shows reluctance to help a fallen person get up;
does not give up a seat in transport to a pregnant woman or an old man;
does not try to calm a crying child;
refuses to help grandma cross the road;
does not want to feed a stray dog or cat;
does not intervene when the strong offend the weak;
does not call the police to report the offense.

Despite the fact that there are still many people in society who rush to help others, indifference is gaining more and more space in our world, becoming a global problem and approaching the brink where few people want to take on unnecessary responsibility, considering such behavior to be normal.

Indifference in a relationship can manifest itself in different ways. Indifference is expressed not only in the inability to empathize with someone else’s grief, but also in the inability to rejoice in the achievements, success and victories of one’s neighbor. If you look at such a person from the outside, he looks phlegmatic, sad, calm and indifferent.

Some accuse such individuals of selfishness, sincerely not understanding those passing by and not helping a person who, for example, became ill on the street. Someday they themselves may need help, and as a result, the manifestation of inhumanity and deliberate inaction in an emergency situation can lead to a tragic ending. Indifference is expressed in relation to:

to work;
to a partner;
to children;
to public life;
to the people around.

Cultivate selfishness

An insensitive person should not care about anything. Stop paying attention to the events that happen in the lives of friends and loved ones, stop taking part in improving their personal lives, and so on. Again, this is none of your business. In the end, you will be indifferent to everything, you will develop an egoist in yourself, the world will revolve only around you.

It will be difficult at first, but conscience and shame will quickly leave you. Do only what benefits you, make contacts only if you need them, look down on people and go over their heads. Nothing should stop you from achieving your goal. Especially if it’s someone else’s problem. This doesn't concern you.

How to get out of a vicious circle

If you have forgotten how to trust the world around you, and it seems to you that there are only scammers around, try to relearn effective communication. Try to make pleasant acquaintances, help people just like that, especially if you see that they need your participation. Over time, it will become less scary to give, you will feel additional energy, strength that you were previously afraid to show. Gradually, you will notice that there are many people around who are sincerely interested in your affairs, mood and health, and you will find faithful like-minded people.

Thus, the problem of human indifference is hidden in the inability to communicate. In our age of information technology, so many people just sit at home in front of the monitor, and they have nowhere to go, no one to exchange a word with!

Types of indifference

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by the routine of everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless

In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

Attitude towards other people

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Indifference of men

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

At work

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case, the negative consequences of indifference manifest themselves faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today no employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not maintain good relations with the team, who constantly makes mistakes.

On politics and the environment

The consequences of human passivity in the political and social sphere are very sad, because in this case, any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. In recent years, the consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature have been increasingly felt.

To the children

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

How does a person become insensitive?

When does frankness turn into rudeness? Do people have the right to make unpleasant remarks about the personality of the interlocutor? Why do some people feel they have to speak their mind? Why do they criticize and give unwanted advice?

According to published psychological research, such explicit comments can be attributed to aspects of people's personalities that fall into the established five-factor model.

The model assumes that an individual's personality includes the following five independent traits: extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, conscientiousness, and openness to experience (intelligence).

Psychologists believe that the area of extraversion is most relevant to understanding what causes people to become overly committed to their beliefs. Aspects in this area include self-confidence (dominating and being the center of attention), sociability (enjoying the company of others), positive affectivity (fun and enthusiasm), and experience seeking (enjoying intense sensations). This means that high extraversion in some aspects reflects the quality of excessive frankness.

You can combine enthusiasm and assertiveness into one group that creates this impatient person who makes potentially intrusive personal comments.

So, extraversion can lead people to develop frankness that turns into insensitivity. This happens because people with high levels of extraversion turn their outgoing nature into antagonism and a desire to overcome others. Other people are outraged by this.

Also, insensitive people may be more likely to seek excitement and may not be able to suppress expressions of emotion. Narcissism may be part of the psychopathology of people with high levels of extraversion, who feel entitled to express their opinions without tact.

Thus, returning to the basic question of why people are insensitive and who become annoyingly outspoken, researchers believe that it is people with high levels of communal extraversion who will push the boundaries of decency, perhaps out of the belief that their opinion is always correct, and therefore they should share it freely.

So, an insensitive person is not interested in the problems of others. He is so self-sufficient and self-confident that he is comfortable dealing only with his own problems. He has no need for other people and has no desire to understand the feelings of other people, to be imbued with their experiences. At the end of life's journey, it is possible that such individuals will awaken something human in their souls. Their personal arguments will no longer work and they realize that after living an isolated existence throughout their lives, they are left completely alone.

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Women's indifference to a man as a test

It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular action or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke on both men and women.

This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds itself of itself through the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.

This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It happens that a woman feels mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles arise on guard, expressed in doubts:

is it reliable enough;
how purposeful he is;
whether he is brave or cowardly;
Is he able to take responsibility?

It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long-lasting?! The fact is that every person is naturally programmed to create a couple.

To continue procreation, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a self-confident male who is capable of making responsible decisions and caring for his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of trick in order to make sure that her choice is correct.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.

Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.

Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.

Lack of communication skills

When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.

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An outlet for anger

Constantly “hiding” grievances within oneself can produce the most destructive effect on the body. Therefore, choose a different tactic - try to discharge yourself. Anything that helps relieve stress and relax is suitable for this: go to the gym, sauna, take a contrast shower. You can even break dishes or beat a pillow.

Expert opinion.

After analyzing Goleman's work, psychology experts determined that the effectiveness of management activities depends 85% on EQ and only 15% on IQ. By developing emotional competence, a leader can view his own emotionality and his subordinates as a resource that can be used to increase productivity.

It is necessary to understand that EQ is not literally related to the emotionality that everyone is accustomed to. When defining it, the phrase “emotional intelligence” is inseparable. For example, an overly temperamental person may have a low EQ, while calm and outwardly unemotional people tend to have a high EQ.

When assessing emotional intelligence, the following are taken into account:

the ability to immerse oneself in one’s own emotions, feel them, live them;
the ability to rationally analyze one’s feelings and make decisions based on logic.

A person with developed EQ is able to maintain a balance between feelings and logic. In a critical situation, they do not give in to anger, despair, despondency, irritability, but know how to pull themselves together and make a decision or produce a result.

According to Salovey and Mayer, intelligence and emotions cannot be opposed, as many are accustomed to doing, they are closely intertwined, and a person’s success not only in business, but also in the interpersonal sphere depends on their correct interaction.

Frying pan against flowers

One of the manifestations of indifference is lack of attention to each other

We can live in the same family, but not notice each other’s needs, but what we don’t notice can be very important for our loved one. For example, my wife wants me to give her flowers, and I say: well, why do you need them, let me give you a frying pan instead! She's more useful

I buy a frying pan, she smiles, accepts my gift, but she wants flowers. This is also indifference, because you do not pay attention to the person’s needs and desires. You measure it by yourself. I don't need flowers, I'm for a frying pan. It seems like a small thing, but it doesn't lead to anything good. And then children are born in such a family.

I recently attended a meeting of the commission on preventing violence in the family and society. We discussed the problem: one boy in kindergarten behaves very aggressively, and it also turned out that he constantly wants to sleep. They began to question the parents. They say: “What do you want, we come home from work tired, go to bed at eight o’clock, and he watches movies on the Internet until three in the morning.” The boy is five or six years old. The parents believe that there is nothing bad in this situation: after all, they work to provide for him, so that he has everything. The fact that he watches uncontrolled information until three in the morning is normal for them. Who knows what this child saw? Can you be surprised if over time he grows into an antisocial person? What do you want from young people if they grow up in indifferent families?

I don’t know how to bring people out of the lethargic sleep of indifference. It is everywhere, even in small things. Unclean shoes, unkempt clothes, negligence - all this is formed by indifference.

Wedding or runaway groom

And so, at one fine moment, the woman lifts the veil of her mystery and feigned indifference, and allows the traveler she meets, who has been hanging around her royal palace for many days now, to look into her heart. And what is happening?!

In the first case, the so-called prince will come to visit, see what’s going on, take advantage of the hospitality, and come to the conclusion - oh, why do I need it?! And carefully, in reverse and unnoticed, he will leave the royal chambers, leaving the chosen bride in bewilderment and sadness.

She will never understand at first what it was - a blow of wind or someone really entering her mansion. And only the persistent courtship and fiery speeches of a gentleman from the past will bring a sad smile on her face, and the thought will creep far into her subconscious: “I knew it”...

The second option is more optimistic. True, here it is worth taking into account the restrained behavior of a woman who is going to allow a “knight on a white horse” to approach her. Restraint, accuracy and self-control can play into the hands of both men and women in such cases.

Often, people rush into the whirlpool of passions, without controlling the further flow of events and letting everything take its course. This is where many problems occur that do not lead the couple to anything good. And you just need to learn to control yourself and your emotions. And then, even after many years of living together, the woman will remain a mystery for the man, which he will not tire of solving.

Reasons for indifference

This behavior is often provoked by fear of responsibility and subsequent obligations that may arise as a reaction to the help provided to another person. There are other concerns, expressed in the ingratitude of people who received help. Reasons may include severe upheavals that occurred in the recent past, shock or stress, or the death of a loved one. Often this condition is caused by the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs.

Indifference to life, lack of empathy for the pain of other people often lies in family relationships and begins in childhood, when there is violence, despotism, cruel upbringing on the part of parents, and inability to find a common language with the child. Lack of attention, care, affection in childhood and adolescence can serve as a significant reason that a child will grow up not only passive, but also cruel, showing aggression towards the people who surround him.

Children look at their parents' behavior from the very beginning. A person is not born indifferent. Some are taught from an early age to be independent and trust only themselves, thus cultivating selfishness in the child. Others are overprotected, which creates a situation where their own needs come before everything else. Such upbringing and incorrect attitude towards your child are often the reason for his subsequent indifference to the needs of other people.

Indifference: definition, features

Indifference is a state of indifference, infantility, a passive attitude towards everything that does not directly concern a person. Indifference is the modern face of evil. Frankly speaking, the appearance is inconspicuous and drab, merging with the general mass, which is its main danger. A distinctive feature of indifference is the mechanism of its spread.

An individual who refuses help sows “seeds”, and the sprouts of indifference appear in the soul of the person who was refused. Chuck Palahniuk wrote about this in his famous work (“no one cared whether he lived or died, and he reciprocated everything”). Indifference, like a pandemic, arises in society and gradually spreads throughout the entire social group. Many witnesses adopt the model of indifferent behavior as the most correct one, because it will not bring problems, and the feeling of guilt will subside on its own over time.

Why do people become indifferent to each other?

As sad as it may be, betrayals do happen in the lives of two people - and, alas, not so rarely. Of course, such an event usually brings little joy to anyone (except, perhaps, the one who cheats - and even then not always). The deceived half often does not understand why this happened and feels like a victim, while the “active” participant is tormented by pangs of conscience and at the same time, deep down in his soul, tries to justify himself to himself. Why do such situations arise? Why, after some time, do two loving people (or one of them) become indifferent to each other and cause pain to their loved one?.. Many of us are looking for answers to these questions. Someone finds it, someone gets tired of looking... Why do people become indifferent to each other? The search for another object “on the side” for love or sex is usually due to a certain number of reasons. Psychologists say that there is no one person to blame for betrayal - there are always two people to blame. If one person is looking for some kind of sensation or relationship outside the home, it means that he is not receiving enough of this something from his husband or wife. It can be anything: lack of attention, affection, sex, kindness, understanding, common interests... As a rule, when you have such a close friend or girlfriend, your partner thinks that it was he, the scoundrel, who broke up your happy family . This is not true - something else broke the happy family. A new hobby is a consequence, not a cause. The reason usually lies much deeper. For example, one couple I know had the following situation: despite the fact that they had been married not very long (5 years), the girl developed a hobby - a doctor, whom she went to for some reason. that of female malaise. This passion turned out to be mutual, and the result was her complete love for a respectable doctor and discord with her husband. Why did it happen so? And the reason, as it turned out, does not lie so deep: her husband has a somewhat exaggerated attitude towards the concept of “family life”. He doesn't want to share his wife with anyone. She doesn’t go to meetings with her friends, he doesn’t meet with friends - after all, he “didn’t get married to run around with friends.” In addition, this girl is from a fairly wealthy family, while the young man, on the contrary, is from a poor family. Throughout his childhood, he was taught that being wealthy is bad, that those who have money did not earn it, but stole it. Thus, the guy is tormented by an inferiority complex - he feels out of place, although he loves his wife very much. Cheating is not a cause, but a consequence. As a result of these simple reasons, a situation arose when the two-room apartment began to feel in some kind of vacuum, feeling at the same time, some of the husband’s anger towards her wealthy relatives. In this case, the doctor who met on her way was not at all an accident. This is a legitimate outcome - she found the opportunity to breathe fresh air with a person who does not put pressure and does not reproach her. Unfortunately, not everyone can understand such combinations, however, having understood, something can be changed and corrected. After all, you once loved each other and were happy. Everything can be returned - you just have to make an effort on yourself and try to understand each other’s needs.

people indifference reasons relationships everything

How to become cold-blooded?

There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cold-blooded, you need to take the advice of psychologists.

Necessary:

establish internal balance;
learn self-control;
visualize;
do not dramatize;
get distracted;
be indifferent to the problem.

To establish inner balance, you need to move away from your fear, thus you can remain stable and come to awareness of the problem. For example, if you forget that there is fear of some important event, then having calmed down, you can realize that the event is necessary, and thus inevitable. You should monitor your breathing, it should be even, this will give you calm. You need to understand that problems are problems that need to be solved; like in school math: concentrating. Of course, it is not easy, but this is how you need to educate yourself to become cool-headed.

To be resilient, you need to see the main thing in the problem , for this you need to fence off everything unnecessary. Consciousness will be devoid of all interfering barriers, which will help make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show qualities such as sympathy and mutual understanding; they are the main assistants, ready for long-term endurance in the most problematic situation.

To visualize means to imagine the most difficult life circumstances as a web that needs to be untangled. If she is nervous, it will be difficult to do this, she will become even more confused, but in a calm environment the result will be completely different. By imagining the problem in the form of a web, the understanding will come to calm down.

To become calm, you need to think about the situation , and not worry. Break it down into pieces, weigh all the pros and cons, and make a decision. Don't rush and tell everyone about what's bothering you. It’s better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be incorrect, especially based on emotions.

Don't dramatize or inflate the problem. It is necessary to soberly assess the situation and monitor your thoughts. They can lead in the wrong direction. To prevent this from happening, you should force yourself to think that the problems are trivial and that solving them will not be difficult.

It is important to take your mind off the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This method will help you stay calm and relax.

How to be indifferent?

Step away from yourself.
Change behavior.

You need to step away from yourself. Each person has his own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it is better not to be yourself , but to become a witness to the situation and look at it from the outside, this will be the first step towards indifference. You need to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you shouldn’t really live the plot of this movie. It’s better to determine what genre the film is in, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to predict what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you will not worry about yourself so much and accumulate internal anxiety, but will see a way out of the situation.

It is important to control your behavior and body, because in a strong desire to become indifferent, it is unlikely that anything will happen if you do not relax. You need to behave neutrally , not waste yourself on unnecessary emotions, and avoid provocations that could affect your emotions. Treat all people as strangers. Talk to your loved ones and friends as if you don’t know them; this will undoubtedly make you act confident, be decent, and speak tactfully and casually.

And yet you need to remain open and perceive the situation, otherwise you risk becoming a closed and aloof pessimist. It’s not difficult to be indifferent: carelessness, avoiding problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the limits of your feelings, including indifference.

As you can see, becoming cold-blooded is not that difficult. Be reasonable!

Causes of mental callousness and indifference

Indifference is not a disease, so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each indifferent person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others; each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some main reasons why people are indifferent:

Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that answer the question of why people have become indifferent.