In the age of social networks and online dating, the question of how to start a conversation and what topic to choose for conversation worries everyone who has ever encountered a similar situation.
For various reasons, people experience problems with communication and are forced to rack their brains over the question of how to behave when communicating with others. There are many different guides on how to be an interesting conversationalist and what to talk about, if nothing else. This topic is discussed in special courses, in blogs and psychological literature.
Unfortunately, not everyone is given natural charm and not everyone is tongue-tied. Not everyone can easily overcome embarrassment and the fear of being rejected when meeting someone, and also prove themselves as an interesting interlocutor who can talk not only about good weather.
Misunderstanding
Most communication problems arise precisely because of a misunderstanding of communication algorithms. Dialogue turns from a natural process into an impossible task. A person simply cannot understand what to say, what manner of communication would be appropriate, what to talk about, if nothing else, and so on. The only way out in such a situation is to interrupt contact. Various aspects of communication structure may be unclear.
Behavior model
It is known that in different situations we build communication according to certain scenarios. They depend on what situation we are in, with whom we are communicating at the moment. The key to choosing the right model of behavior is, first of all, the social status of the interlocutor: a close person, a subordinate or a boss. Some people confuse these concepts, which can negatively affect the communication process.
The result of such a substitution of concepts is familiarity or, on the contrary, an overly official or even arrogant attitude towards close people.
Nonverbal signs
One of the most important components of any dialogue is non-verbal communication. When a person does not know what to talk about, if nothing else, he begins to get nervous and chooses topics that are not entirely appropriate. Not every interlocutor can directly say that the topic of conversation does not suit him, then he begins to send various signals, including using sign language.
Think about what kind of reaction they expect from you
The interlocutors are very different. One is quite happy with free ears and a rare nod of the head. But the other will require a meaningful answer and emotional reaction from you. Therefore, first of all, you need to understand what type of interlocutor you are dealing with.
This is easy to determine. It is enough to observe a person’s facial expressions and body language, and follow his speech. In Marina Butovskaya’s book “Body Language: Nature and Culture” you can find M. L. Butovskaya. "Body Language: Nature and Culture" contains a lot of useful information about nonverbal communication.
For example, dilated pupils and wide eyes can indicate increased interest and excitement. Slightly raised eyebrows are also a sign of concentration and curiosity. Prolonged eye contact will show that it is important for the person to be listened to carefully.
Active gestures in Russian and American cultures speak about energy and the desire to get your point across. And if you notice that a person is trying to move closer to you during a dialogue, then this indicates a desire to be heard.
It is also worth watching how a person speaks: pay attention to timbre and intonation. The famous speaker Dale Carnegie, in his book “How to Build Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public,” wrote that the speech of someone who wants to interest you will be figurative and easy to understand. She can also E. S. Rostova, N. A. Tumakova. Psychological and psycholinguistic features of oral speech (dialogue form) / “Young scientist” be quick if a person is excited and very passionate about the topic. A high voice or raising it will also indicate the interlocutor's enthusiasm.
If you have identified at least a few of these signs of interest, then there is a high probability that you will be required to respond and participate.
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