Tricky question. Is financial dependence on a husband a heavy burden or a normal story? After all, it also happens that at the beginning of family life, your spouse is ready to carry you in his arms, give you all the money, enthusiastically suggesting: “Dear, let you sit at home, I’ll take care of everything.” A little later you realize that you have fallen into a trap - you have to ask for money for every little thing. How to avoid this very addiction? And in general - is she so scary?
I would be glad if you join the discussion of this topic in the comments.
How does a woman become financially dependent?
Firstly, some people throw themselves into the deep end when they get married. Even if a girl had a good job, she believes that from now on her main task is to manage her life and take care of her husband. And in fact this is normal behavior. But I have always said and will not tire of repeating that a “safety cushion” is simply necessary for any girl, no matter how wonderful and wealthy her husband is.
Secondly, women obediently agree to stay at home only because their husbands decided so. Beware of a situation when a man puts the question bluntly: “As I said, so it will be.” Most likely, your spouse wants to assert himself at your expense and reproach you with every ruble spent.
Thirdly, the wife’s financial dependence on her husband reaches its peak during motherhood. Yes, this is the most significant time for any woman. But it’s not easy financially. While on maternity leave, the young mother is completely dependent on providing for her husband. This is not a disaster, but a completely normal state of affairs.
What problems does each of these cases threaten the family with? Not only financial, but also psychological. Many women begin to feel hopelessness, fear, and self-doubt. They stop emitting positive energy. As a result, conflicts and reproaches begin.
How can a woman overcome financial dependence on a man? Let's take it point by point. Add your options in the comments.
Don't focus on shortcomings
Many wives tend to dwell on their husband's shortcomings. Socks thrown by the sofa, slurping while eating, unbrushed teeth seem like small, insignificant offenses at the beginning of a relationship. Over the years, such little things become a serious irritant for the wife if she does not learn to accept her husband's shortcomings.
To fall in love with your spouse again, learn to ignore such trifles. If you can’t ignore them completely, make a list of a man’s virtues and re-read it often. This alternative pushes the husband’s annoying habits into the background.
Take responsibility
Take courage and stop hoping that you will be saved, fed and warm. You are an adult, and such behavior only develops a victim complex. When you shift responsibility to your man, you unwittingly tie your hands.
As a result, your life goes according to someone else’s scenario, and it’s as if you are observing what is happening from the outside and can’t change anything. It’s no wonder that as a result you get a dose of depression and resentment towards others.
Become a strong independent person and have no regrets
One cannot think that independence is achieved with little blood. If a person passionately wants freedom, then this desire transforms him. If a woman decides to become a strong independent person, then she will have to:
Reshape life. We bring up the financial issue again. A woman who hopes that a man will solve her problems is not used to thinking about the future. This, she believes, is not a woman’s concern. Those who desire freedom part with such an attitude. An independent woman is responsible for her life and her decisions. A man, if he is nearby, is perceived as a person, and not as a bearer of functions and benefits. When a person chooses freedom, he must respond to actions, and this implies responsibility. As a result, there is more freedom and less comfort. Get used to the hardships of life, which spoil your character. Freedom doesn't come for free. You have to pay for it with emotional overload and constant stress. If a woman has not worked before, then immersion in the abyss of social life will not go unnoticed for her. Her character will become bad and her heart will harden. Change your interaction with a man. If a woman strives to become independent in a relationship, then this ultimately leads to a rethinking of her role in relation to the man. A woman can no longer be only a “mother” or a wife to a man, from now on she wants more. This poses the problem of finding a fundamentally different partner in terms of quality. “Man-child” or “man-breadwinner” is not suitable for such a woman. Her ideas about a real man change. Coming to terms with potential loneliness. The conclusion from the points mentioned above is living solo. This is the price for independence.
If a person wants to become strong independent, then he should consider the consequences of freedom.
Create a financial cushion
I already mentioned this above. Save money. For example, let them be stored in a separate account. Some are convinced that a personal “stash” is almost meanness. Like, everything should be divided equally, because the main thing in a family is honesty.
In general, having your own savings for each spouse is a very good idea. Relationships, even the most ideal and harmonious, do not imply complete fusion. You and your man are two self-sufficient people, you have the right to manage your savings at your own discretion. By the way, in one of my articles I described in detail what a family budget is like.
Feelings gone
